Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - Homophones, Things That Scare Us, & TV We’re Loving

Episode Date: April 2, 2026

Come see BNC live! https://linktr.ee/bnclive  Pre-order Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It: https://sites.prh.com/phoebe-bermans-gonna-lose-it SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl  Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr This week, Brooke and Connor are learning so much about the English language, getting scared on main, and absolutely loving TV right now. Plus, Brooke tries to help Connor find his next boy book read and Connor explains his black eye.  Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/  Bath & Body Works candles not only smell amazing, but are crafted with premium, lead-free wicks for a clean, safe burn. Shop the White Barn Neutrals collection now at https://bathandbodyworks.com! Head to https://www.squarespace.com/BANDC to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code BANDC. Thanks to Article for sponsoring this podcast! Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit https://www.article.com/discount/bnc and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/BANDC B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 00:00 Homophones & Diphthongs 03:04 New IG Follower 08:29 Twitter Scaries 14:33 Psycho Neighbor 17:20 Bath & Body Works 18:36 SquareSpace 19:52 Connor’s Move 20:40 Screw April Fools 23:41 Something Bad Is Going to Happen 26:56 Boy Books 31:33 Adult Book Fair 34:20 School Stories 36:58 Article 38:38 Rocket Money 39:52 Brooke’s Book Store 45:02 Turkey Legs 47:13 John Green’s New Book 49:32 Love Story Season 2 54:49 Everything is a Joke 59:55 Matthew Morrison  1:03:47 Business Plan 1:06:03 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit Red Bull.com slash Bright Summer Ahead to learn more. See you this summer. Did you know here, here? You know, when they were like trying to sell newspapers? I thought that was like if you're in a courtroom like here here. Oh. Here here. Are you thinking of extra extra?

Oh, I was. Well, what does that mean? Here here. Yeah, what does extra? Okay, well, hang on because like I was about to explain something that like I had a complete misunderstanding about. Here here is like pay attention to me. Here here is like H-E-A-R, H-E-R-H-E-R-E. Yes.

Here. here, here, here. Oh, oh, oh. How amazing. Yeah. How amazing is that. What are those words called that sound the same that are spelled differently? Phomaphob.

Homophones, yes. Homophobes, absolutely. Because they are all, they sound the same. Do you know what a diphtong is? Tell me anything, too, about the diphtongs. I just remember. Is that from skims? No, it's from my linguistics class in college, and I just remember, like, no one else was

laughing. when we were learning about diphthongs. It's like when two letters come together to form a different sound. So like, oh, I is a diphtong, like oil, like oy, like, oh, I together, like, make that new sound. But all letters put together make a new sound. Yeah, but it's like, usually you can separate it letter by letter and like sound it out. In the alphabet. Okay, Connor, you can do khanor.

Like, that makes sense. But, like, you would not be able to separate oil by its like division. Or like guess. Yeah, the UE there might be It's like a eh It's possible Yeah All I know is that OI is a dip song

Wee Ah, we Bien-Saire I was talking to myself In French today on the way here Talk tell me about it I don't really know what I was saying Talk to me, talk to me

But I took French in high school A lot of people don't know that We do well we do know it And if you listen to the bonus Yeah We learned a lot about that class Yeah So I was just talking to myself in French, no big deal.

What were you saying? I don't remember, but I was like, I think I was actually just trying to translate a song. I think I could get a few words, which is always exciting when you're able to do that. Here, hear, listen to my French. Acute. That's like when the vegetables come out at a restaurant. You can order them separately. Crudite.

Crudite. Nice. Homo phob. Hi, homophob. Um, Mama. Do you want to play a really quick game? Oh my God, right to the games. Three minutes and 11 seconds in.

Do you? Yeah, always. Guess who? 20 questions followed me on Instagram. Wow. Okay. Is it a woman? No.

Are they a boy? Yeah. Well, okay. Are they a musician? Yes. Are they, are, is, is he someone that you've been a fan of? Yes. Is he someone that's been talked about on the podcast?

Yeah. Is he someone that's been talked about on the podcast frequently? I would say, Okay. Like, maybe not frequently, but I definitely talk to, I definitely speak about this person, this man. Yeah. Is he on Broadway?

No. Do I, am I familiar with his work? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Oh my gosh. See like this is where I get... Maybe not, but like you know who they are.

Like when I get to artist young man, oh, I guess is he younger than us? No. He's older than us. And he's not on Broadway and he's a musician. Is he a throwback? Yes. Type beat?

And it's not Justin Timberlake. No. Is he like a household name? To some people. Okay, I'm not going to get it. I don't think he would be in your house. but he was a household name in my household in a huge way. A lot of families.

Okay. Josh Grobin. No. But I like that's that's a good path that you're on. Is it a musical type of person? The musician? Like a musicals on like Broadway type. No.

So a Michael Boubley? No. Or a dollar name. A man. Um, man, I don't, can I give up? No. Is he taller than me? I don't think so.

Is he on TV? Not right now. Okay. See, like, if this person has fallen out of... That's a good question. Has this person fallen out of the spotlight? Yes. Okay.

Then I probably wouldn't know. Yes, you would. If he's not a household name, he's not currently in the spotlight. He is a lot of households. To a lot of households. Is he Jewish? No. But think about like,

What makes a household? What makes a household? Like TV? Yes. Okay, so this person was on TV? Yes. Was this person in a sitcom? No.

Was this person on the news? No. Was? What is... Okay, not on the news, not on a sitcom. Was this person on reality television? Yes. And this person is a musical artist and he's on reality television.

Yes. And he's out of the spotlight now. But who is a reality person that was on? was in music. I also want you to reframe the way that you're thinking about reality TV. Like, I don't know that you would call this reality TV actually. Like, I'm not thinking like, I'm not thinking of like, um, like I'm not thinking of like. Think about if we were playing that game where we try to get this to the same word.

And I, and you did reality TV and I did music. What would come out of you? Like the masked singer? Think about it. Yes. In the past. Yes. Like American Idol.

Yes. Okay, I'm seeing, I'm seeing, I'm seeing American Idol. Oh my gosh, wait, hang on. And he's not a judge. No. No, he was a contestant. Yes. Did he win?

No. Is he gay? Yes. Oh, all right, I'm going to get there. What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name?

You know it. I do know it. Um, frick. Crap. And he was one of your first loves, right? My first love. Okay. I know who it is.

That was a person. And you had a something for a something, right? It was almost a saying that Clay Aiken. Yes, yes, yes. You had an Aiken for Clay Aiken. Yes. Very good job, Connor. Yeah, okay.

Clay Aiken followed you on Instagram? I mean, I screamed. From the rooftops. From the rooftops. Wow, how exciting for you. What a tree. I wonder what it was that he saw, you know? There's no telling.

But there's been a number of, he could have seen any. Oh, it could have been anything. My guess is that it was this clip of me and Brittany talking about who made us women. And I said Clay. So, yay. Okay, that's really special. Have you guys communicated at all?

No. But I'm just like, that is like amazing to me. That's so awesome. Happy for you. Thank you. As always. Oh, happy Passover. Oh, my God, happy Passover.

I got like, there's no point in when I'm like, oh, I got you this, but I forget to bring it. I got you a card at Trader Joe. That's so nice. It's a happy Passover. That's so nice because I didn't even know it was Passover until you said that. I'm so disconnected. It's so sad. I'm like so locked it.

Yeah. Thank you for celebrating my culture with me. You know what I think's been happening to me recently is like I am having another era of just like I am taking and consuming so much media. Like across the board. Like on your phone. or on the TV or everything. Like it's really crazy. I think it's because I'm in like a doldrum type beat,

not depressed, just like, like had a, had a busier period of my career. But I'm not like cool with taking it. I told you yesterday. I was like, we recorded something yesterday. And I got, it was like a big drive and I got home. And I was like, oh, I'm already done with everything until we record tomorrow.

And I couldn't even get ahead on anything because I'd already gotten ahead on everything. the fact that like that's your like uneasy feeling and that's my like heaven as a place on earth with you oh i texted her like i'm kind of freaking out i'm i'm it's like 6 p.m and i'm like kind of done with my day and she was like oh how nice and i was like no i'm gonna like walk somewhere really far that yeah to me it's just like i can't i get to cozy up with my boys and my book and what a blessing life is yeah yeah but i've been consuming so much media and then last night i like before obviously like everything right now media wise is like really everything i should do we should do a segment on here like

what scared me the worst on twitter yesterday okay um which like everything really truly truly truly like heart sinking i'm scared which i never used to be like that i think like it's really hard to tell like what is fear mongering and what is like an actual news report yeah well i just don't know anything that makes it hard known anything so i don't get a lot of stuff sure i don't understand and i don't resonate with a lot of stuff and i guess yesterday was the address there's an address to the nation sure like tonight like there's three countries doing an address to the nation and it's kind of like why are you

like soft launching the address to the nation why are you soft launching the address to the nation like how Alex Cooper like teases her podcast you know is that what's happening? Yeah like tell us what you're doing tomorrow you know like should we go to work today

you know like is there a point you know what I mean like should someone quit their job today instead of like ghost go you know What are you thinking they're going to say like lockdown? No, no. Yeah, and I think it's going to be lockdown for energy. I think it's going to be like...

No. Yeah. I think it's going to be like an energy saving lockdown because Australia just already did it today because we're on a different time zone. Like, keep your life off? Preserve energy. Don't drive as much if you don't need to. Don't get too much gas at the thing because they're not in the war,

but they want to keep their taxes low for like truckers. They call them truckies. And... so that's just that was what scared me yesterday yeah but i mean that's not the worst thing that scared me yesterday because i did hear that there's an alien human breeding branch of the government now which like that made me there's always been yeah there's always been that's what what's a call this what area 51 yeah now the thing about the alien human hybrids like if that is a real thing like i'm going to be upset if they live longer and are taller than me you know they were they

did a season. Remember that like it wasn't American Horror Story but it was American Horror Stories. There was a season about area like why do I keep forgetting the number 51? Yeah. There was a season about Area 51 and human alien breeding. I'm just so out of the loop. With human alien breeding. I don't think there's a loop to be in there for the general public. I think there's a deeper dive that could be done. Yeah, but then it's like you enter conspiracy theorists. Oh my gosh. Yeah. What isn't a conspiracy? What isn't now?

Because now when I'm going to go and do another conspiracy theory, I think tonight might be either the lockdown or we're launching to space again and we're going to the moon, which is the first time since we went to the moon the last time. And everyone's like, oh my gosh, it's so dangerous. We're so worried. We hope they make it back safe. It's like, wait, didn't we do this before color TV was invented? It could also literally just be Trump is renaming the Palm Beach airport.

Or he finished the ballroom. Yeah. Which would be huge news for us. We'll see. Yeah, no, it's true. Like a lot of people are like, it's just going to be him being like we won. I'm sure. Yeah.

Anyways, that's my fear-mongering essay of the day. Let me make sure there was no more fear-mongering to be done. That we should have a fear-mongering segment that people can skip. From like 10 to 25, we're doing fear-mongering. And then we're doing pop culture. Guess who? Fearmongering pop culture. We're starting with homophobes. Homophobes.

Guess who? Fear mongering. TV I'm watching. Milking farm. Milking farm. Moon launch. The Kit Kat Heist in Europe. I saw that.

The draft. More news on homophobos. here, here? I haven't planted my flags yet. I'm going to do it during Pride Month. You're going to do how many flags? You just said plural? Well, I have 50.

Well, now I have 49 because once here. And if y'all are coming to our shows, I'm going to be giving out some Pride flags. Cool. But, yeah, I don't know how many I'll plant. But now I'm starting to get scared of this person, the neighbor. Because now I've noticed she's parked her car in a way that's like blocking me and my gay neighbors.

And I think she's trying to get us to hit it. Because she has cameras lined up everywhere outside of her car. So I think she's got something up her sleeve. You don't have like a higher... You don't have like a higher power that you could reach out to, right? I have my landlord who's like on it. Could you be like my neighbor's trying to get me to hit her car? Like, I don't have the concrete proof.

It's just a theory based off of the way she's, it's like just like our two driveways. It's so hard to explain, like are separated by a massive drop off that I've dropped down off of quite a few times and then had to press all of my weight on the gas to reverse back up. Does that make sense? There's just like a drop off. Yeah. That if I dropped off, I'd be in her driveway. But she's parked now like right up. against the drop off so that I couldn't drop off, which is like, ideally I would never drop off,

but like sometimes I need to drop off to wiggle my way out of the driveway. So it's hard to explain. Like she's technically within her limits, but she's pushing, she's testing me. I see. She's testing me. Like I have to do it like an extra 55 point turn to maneuver because like the front of my car usually enters into that space without me fully dropping off, but now it can't. I like how you're like she's blocking us in and you're. you're like fully able to get in and out of your driveway. It's harder. It's harder.

You've seen my driveway. It's really hard to maneuver and she's making it extra difficult. What can you say? Nothing. I want to, no. What do you want to? Put a pride flag on her car, but she has cameras all around it. You write a note on the pride flag?

Happy pride. Move your car or else? And also the way she's parked, like, it's very hard for her to get into that position. Like there's no reason for her to be parked the way that she is. What I like, who, you know, you have to be pretty unhappy to be parking like that.

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I'm here for so long, and I'm worried because I think when I get back, I have to move. Why? Because that's like how long I'm going to be here for the stretch of time. My hair fell out of my clipped. Does it look weird? Mm-mm. I can't see the back of your head. Okay.

Um, is there a day you have to be out? What day do you have to be? I don't know. At this point, I'm too scared to ask. No, you need to ask. Are you months to months now? No, they wouldn't do that.

So you need to find out the last day that you can be in your apartment. Yeah, that's a good place to start. guess is it the end of April? It's definitely May. Like the beginning of May. Okay. So you'll be back in time. Yeah, it's not April yet, right?

It's April 1st. Oh my God, we didn't do any April Fool's. I don't fuck with April Fool's. To be honest, like, there should be years where you skip it. Like, it should be a leap year thing. Yeah, because, like, maybe I need to get on meds because it's like, I wouldn't, I'm not, like, cool with people doing jokes right now. no i don't like i don't i i rarely like pranks and like especially don't like if they're directed

towards me and especially right now if a brand is like let's do like this insane thing it's like you're in my i'm not buying a product from you for a little bit i'm not we're not none of us are in the mood for an aprilful you're clogging up my airspace i haven't gotten i haven't really opened my phone this morning in an amazing way so i haven't gotten pranks yet oh my gosh you probably don't have that day. I guess my old job was so bad. Like I'm, I've told, I've said this before on here, but like my old jobs were scary because they were all startups. And so like I would just have to like not ever turn my phone on do not deserve. And so like my vibration of my phone getting a text like wakes me up in a way that like if someone broke into my bedroom like that's,

it feels the same. I feel like I literally this year just got out of the, if my dad texted me, I'm in trouble phase of my life. Like I, I, I always used to think if I got a text for my dad, I was in trouble. I just always think someone died. I would love to be in trouble. Oh, no. I have like a fear of getting in trouble. By your papa?

I just feel like he would mostly, like, he would always like in high school, like, if I left like something out on the counter, just send a picture of it with no text. And so I think I've always, I'm expecting, like, to get a picture of like the cereal that I left out or something. Or the AC that I didn't turn down. There's going to be an age that your father gets where he's going to just send you a picture of cereal and it's going to re-trigger this whole thing. But he's just going to be like, I'm busy eating the cereal today. Maybe. Oh, I have something I want to say, but I can't. I have something I want to say, but I can't.

I have to respect people's privacy. Oh, I'll talk about the fact that I have a huge black eye. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I hit my face on a ladder, which, like, it's so funny that that's, like we kind of manifested that. I'm always talking about ladders on here. Yeah.

And now that's my favorite icebreaker. Yeah. Aw. I kind of love that for me. I wish it didn't happen where like I have other, like I wish I just would have got in the black eye. Right. I get that.

I'm so intrigued by the way that you scab because you didn't, you were saying you weren't bleeding. No, I just, I get like a strawberry and it scabs in a way where it's like I have a big open wound. It doesn't make any sense to me. There was hours for the day where like it wasn't even notice, not even. noticeably bleeding and then it's just scabs. I don't get how you can have a scab without any sort of open skin.

Ooh, I didn't like open skin. Well, then you know what? You're not going to like that new show. Something very bad is going to happen. Oh, I want to see that. Is it too gory for me? Yeah. I also started watching it last night and I had the weirdest string of evil dreams.

Like, not even like scary, just like weird as hell. Who's in that show? Camila Monroe and Adam DeMarco. Oh, my God. She is the most beautiful person that I have ever seen in my life. I've just learned, like, how to properly use camp in a way. I'm still working on that. Everything's a little bit over the top theatrical in this show.

Like, it's a little bit, you start watching it. It's like, okay, if the first thing, I'm just going to give you the premise. Okay. Because I've only watched one episode. she's basically getting married to Adam and he's part of this rich family everyone's bizarre I'm talking about one small

inconvenience on an eight hour road trip going to get like we're calling it off you know like I'm not someone who has something bizarre happened to me where I'm like deeply unsettled and you just keep going with the trip you know like and then two

yeah and this is like a thing where like there's a string of things and it's like she already has this gut feeling and there's thing after thing and it's like bizarre things. That sounds good. Yeah and it's like then the family's weird and they're really kind of just like bizarre and mean to her and like in a crazy way. It's just like no we're calling it off. I guess that's the point of the show that you're just like on edge on edge and there's a lot of like you know I'm laying in my hotel bed and there's jumps. I'm excited. Yeah. It's good. Like, I mean, I don't know.

I'm not like a horror movie watcher and there is like a lot of bleeding. Okay. That I don't know. Like, do you see actively like them like slicing? No, just like a woman running into a mirror and then like a nose bleed. Okay. Those are fine for me. Like what I can't watch is like stabbing or like I can't watch doctor shows because of like surgery.

Yeah, I hate when I see like skin be slicing. Yeah, I can't do that. I can't do that. But like if you're already bleeding, like I can't look. Look at a bloody body. Does that make sense? I just can't watch it happen if I'm seeing active piercing. You don't want to see how the sausage is made.

Yeah. So, like, I couldn't watch someone be put into a meat grinder, but I could see the meat. I don't think I could see that. Watch it either. Yeah. I'm sure there's someone out there that could. Watch someone be put into a meat grinder. Yeah.

Oh, absolutely. There are so many people who don't have a problem with that. I couldn't eat, I couldn't eat meat for, like, a full-blown. week after watching the Jeffrey Dahmer thing. That, no, that was hard. There was a truck. I just got chills in my body. I don't remember.

I think I lived here when we watched that. And there was a truck that was always in my neighbor because there was a restaurant. And it had this like huge slab of raw meat on it. And I was like, move that truck. Move that bus. Yeah. No, it's just like it looked like human. Yeah.

Yeah. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Um, and then obviously. just keep going with TV because I feel like weirdly brain dead and all I've been doing is consuming media. Connor, I told you like I've been proud of myself for how much TV I've been watching because that means my attention span is growing.

Mine's getting small. I feel like I'm getting dumber. Oh my gosh, I'm getting dumber. I need to finish the book I've been reading for six months. What book? Stoner. Oh, I love the cover of that one. Do you?

Is it the one that kind of looks like a classic? It's very, it's very like unsettling. Yeah. Wait, but when did that? come out. Like it's not a classic, right? No. I love that. Yeah, I love that cover. What's it about? Oh, it, it's old. Never mind. 1965, yeah. It is old. Okay, never mind. I thought it was like a modern book that like took on an old timey cover. So I liked that, but now I don't care for it. What's it about? Do you know? So I think I on the front and he's just like, he would like it. He's just like so in love with like,

reading and writing like literature. Why are you reading this? Like takes over his life. Why do you do this? You know what? There's this series that boys are reading. It's like a boy book. And it's called dungeon crawler Carl.

Dylan was telling me about it. Okay. Brooke literally just told me I need to watch like Bob the Builder book. No, this is literally Captain Underpants for grown up. Carl's doomsday scenario. People, no. Boys are loving it. It's for grown-up boy.

It's meant technically. Grown-up boys. Dylan is reading it. I'm not watching. I'm not reading dungeon crawler. Dylan is reading it. No, this looks-

It's good, apparently. Like my friend, like Thompson is reading it, like grown-up boys. I'm not reading something called Dunger-Roll or Carl. But why are you reading Stoner?

Why are you reading about a man who's love for literature is overwhelming? Like, that is not for you. Dungeon-Crawler-Carl or Carls for you. The Butcher's Masquerade is for you. I am not reading The Butchers Masquerade. I think that you should.

What in the, no, I'm not Doomsday Carl. These are all over Barnes & Noble. Like, this is what boys are reading. Like, if you read the, like, if you were a young boy reading Captain Underpants and shit like that and you liked The Hunger Games, it's like Captain Underpants meets the Hunger Games. I don't even know what it's about, but I'm just guessing. I wasn't. You know what? I never read Captain Underpants.

You think you're better than Captain Underpants? I probably did think that. Yeah. I probably said you guys are here. Yeah. I was in gifted and talented classes. Yeah. I moved forward with AP. What was AP? Advanced placement. Oh, wait. Look at my book. I brought my book today. Look how thick this is.

Yeah, that's not going to work. Do you see that? Yeah. I'm loving these Crescent City books, you guys. It's 8005 pages Yeah, that's a can't But wow Just wow Let me think what I was reading

When everyone else was reading Captain Underpants What grade was that? Young There was goosebumps Aida's in mystery Magic Tree House I was reading Magic Tree House Gregor the Overlander

And boxcar children Then there was Warriors So none of those You're in box car Boxcar and house I didn't like box car My mom liked box car For some reason

I feel like it's very wholesome. Yeah. And it was like, I loved like Goonys vibes, you know? Like these kids are like, well, I think that they were like orphans. There was also this one, not Tale of Despero. Do you know Tale of Despero? That was about a mouse. Then there was these other ones about a mouse named Geronimo, I think.

Do you know Geronimo? I knew Geronimo. Is he, would you mind looking up Geronimo chapter books for kids, mouse? I loved this guy. No, maybe his name wasn't. Carl the Dungeon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no.

Geronimo Silton. Loved his ass. Yeah, I loved him. What else was around that time? I think we got most of them. But I love, oh my God. I mean, what I would get. That's what I'm going to do.

Sorry, I didn't say my sentence out loud. Didn't get there with you. We need, I guess we kind of have. them but we need like a mainstream scholastic book fair for adults yeah that would be nice that would be nice for people it would be just so awesome so what's like but like I'm wondering like what are you wondering and I'm gonna I'm gonna raise my concern I was gonna say I guess I'm wondering like what is the difference between a bookstore and a scholastic event for adults? There's none?

No, there is. I want authors to come in. I want like Coachella for books. I guess there's book con, but like I don't really understand what that is. I. Yeah, well, because like it was fun for us because we were getting out of class. You know, there was like novelty. No, there was so much more to it.

We couldn't drive to a bookstore in elementary school. that was our that was our like big event but it was like the scholastic employees would come in I don't know if you had this they would come in a few days before the book fair my dad didn't you had a booklet in front of you with all the new books it was like a little scholastic magazine and they would go through and they would explain the synopsis of each book and you could like take notes on if you liked them or not oh my god thank you rich dad that must have been a really nice school I thank you rich dad I actually didn't get any money for the book fair I had to call mom and pop up and ask for a credit card number thank you I guess I It's not helping my case. Thank you, Rich grandparents. No, but everyone had cash and I didn't get cash. I had to call. I had to get my credit card number for the phone. Oh, I hate that.

I know. I know it was so sad. I mean, I just want to, I'm just thinking of like, if you made it adult vibes, which I guess what you're yarning for is pretty much the same energy. I like don't know what the adult version of like those animal shaped erasers would be to put on my wooden pencil. I mean,

I mean, adults. I love cool bookmarks. I love erasers. Any bookish merch, like post-it notes, like annotation notes, bookmarks, as I already said, highlighters. Just I love all that stuff. You know, I said I have like no memory. Yeah.

I do remember specifically like this, the music that was playing. And I remember what the bathrooms were like in my elementary school. And like, I remember kind of the route of my elementary school, which is, weird does it yes it was just so long ago did you ever have this blue hand sanitizer that was kind of foamy i don't know okay yeah we had this blue sanitizer hand sanitizer that was kind of foamy and if i smelled that right now i think i would actually teleport like a that like that's a very one i think i would actually tell yeah exactly um i have this one memory awesome memory i think i told it before just like one of our teachers' cars exploded in the parking lot and we got to all spend like the entire half the day just like watching it burn that's all that is awesome and then at some point all the tires popped from the heat and it went up in the air for a second she started crying but like i remember everyone else was like what like firework show you know i literally like i loved elementary school so much like i was one of those kids that's like if i had to miss school it was like i was beside myself

But I also like my school was really like camp. Yeah. It was such an amazing place. I wish everyone. Middle school not so much. High school not so much. There's like a very like evil couple years for me too that I just like oh, kids just suck. My ninth and tenth was evil.

Kids just suck. I worry about kids. I know. I can't imagine it's any better now. And they're mean. It must be far worse. I know. It must be far worse.

Oh, Jesus. H. I can't imagine. Thank you teachers. Thank you. Thank you to kids. I don't think any kids listen to this. But oh my gosh.

You just have to, you unfortunately just have to like keep going. One time, you remember FormSpring, of course. I don't know. Oh, FormSpring. The anonymous, like you could post anonymously on someone.

Ask FM. Yeah, but it was FormSpring before Ask FM, I think. But there was this, when I was a freshman, there was this senior girl who I thought, was just like the coolest, prettiest girl in the world. And I wanted to be her friend so badly. And we, like, were developing a kind of friendship.

Did you hear my stomach growled to send? That was mine. Oh. Whoa. And then I wrote on her form string, who's your favorite freshman? And I forgot to make it anonymous. It was just me. That said that.

That was really hard. What did she answer? Someone out. She said you, exclamation. Oh. Which was awesome. Her twos were done. Like, I didn't want, that's not what I wanted.

That wasn't how I wanted that to go. Oh, Brooke. That's humiliating. Connor, try and lift me up instead of putting me back down. No, I mean, like, you're past it too. You're acknowledging that it's, I'm not putting you back down. I'm happy. That is embarrassing.

But that's like a PIN 15 type situation. Like, that's like a canon developmental situation that happens. You're like, okay, now we keep going. Perfect example. It was hard to keep going. It was hard to keep going. But yeah. Hey guys, we want to take a quick break to thank a sponsor of today's episode article.

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Yep. Rocketmoney.com slash B&C. Anyway, I guess this ties into something else that I wanted to talk about, this classic book fair. I'm going to open, I've been missing tiny bookshop recently. Yeah. And it sucks because I can't really play it again

because I know how it ends. I noticed you just took your phone out, wasn't it? I was just checking my notes. Okay. I am going to run my own bookstore at a beach, like that's something that I'm going to do. Great goal. And but I'm starting to like as I come upon 30 soon, it's like, let's start to really

think about doing that. Yeah. And cats going to do it with me and we're also going to make it a cat rescue. So like we're going to foster cats in the bookstore and like people who shop like can adopt them. So kind of cat cafe X bookstore. And there will be a catio attached for our cats as well. and we're going to have this beach town and like some of our other friends are also going to

start their establishments there so it'll be like a compound so i think like tristan and miles are going to do like bar x like music fun record store and sody's going to be in charge of like the gift shop and like crap that's like at the book store what will you do and by the way we're thinking carmel by the sea right now if that works that's really lovely i i really want you to watch Portlandia a little bit. Do you want me to do Oregon? No, it's just like it feels like exactly. It feels like so up this alley of this

this one's get they do. Oh, okay. Well, basically I'm in the market for a beach town. Yeah. That's willing to kind of rent their whole city to me. Carmelva as he would be perfect because it's so tiny. It's so tiny and looks like it's right out of Shrek. But I've never been. But I kind of want to go to the East Coast.

I just feel like you wouldn't have like as much of a vibe there. Like you could do like a Rhode Island type situation Yeah Newport Yes Like a Yes But then it's like

Then you have off seasons Which is hard That's what I was thinking But you might like an off season I might When else would you go to like Europe True that True that

But anyway What do you want to do in the town Um What would I want to do in the town See like I have always wanted the coffee shop You can do the coffee shop Yeah I think

I forgot who you think someone else is doing the coffee shop that you might have a co-owner. That would be lovely because I don't want to be fully in charge of something. Okay, yeah. I forget who's working that with you, but someone. I had, oh my God, you just reminded me. I had the best idea of the weekend. What?

So I'm sitting at a restaurant and I'm looking at this other table and I'm like, God, they were having so much fun. It's hard for me not to be like. What restaurant? where are you at? This place in New York Cafe Clooney and we've been there. Yeah. We went there together. Yeah, yeah. And I'm sitting, we lucked out and we got an outdoor table which like by the grace it got because I didn't even have a reservation and it was like

I guess it was like a Thursday night. It's just now getting very nice out. Everyone's putting the tables back inside. And I'm sitting outside and I'm looking like from the outside looking at this table, co-ed table. They're laughing. I can't hear how lard they're laughing. But I can tell that it's like with their chest. What was the age demographic? mid-20s. It's just like, you know, that's your prime. And I'm just like, I want to say that. It's a part of your life.

And I like, I'm like, oh, what are they talking about? You know what would be amazing. What? A silent disco. You put the headphones in and you look around at different tables having conversations. And everyone signs a waiver coming in. You can tap into different tables conversations and listen in. I don't think anyone would like,

sent to that. If you're willing and able and like you want to go in and tap into other people's conversations and like listen in and it wouldn't be a spy thing. You're signing a waiver going in. But the like the listen in cafe. The biggest ick I've ever gotten from a guy was during a silent disco when my headphones were off. Ooh. Why did you do that? That's kind of dancing. I think I had an itch on my ear or something. But like I just had to take my headphones off for a second. You can't take yourself out of this. No, it was really hard. But like if, Anyone needs the ick, just like try to put yourself in a position where your headphones are off at a silent disco and his are on. He's dancing to the beat that does not exist to you.

Yeah, that sucks. That's the most fun I've ever had was at ECL and we went to the silent disco and we accidentally, we were going to stop there on the way to the killers, which was my one and only chance ever see the killers. Not that I like really need to, I guess. Like, I'm not massive. You know, the strokes, different story. The killers, not so much. And we stopped at the silent disco. And I was with like some of my best friends.

And we dance and we dance. And I had never laughed harder. And that's like one of my most special memories is the silent disco. That's sweet. Yeah, it was very fun. I really want to go to the Renaissance Fair. That reminded me. Yeah, me too.

I would, we need to, we should go. I know. I want to wear a corset that's comfortable though. I want to eat a turkey leg, which I just learned is fully ham. No. Turkey legs? We've had the discussion before about turkey leg. It's not turkey.

It's ham. It's a turkey leg. What kind of massive, massive turkey has a leg that thing? No, turkey legs are not ham. They are 100% poultry. No, I don't know that. But at the Renaissance Fair, they are. No, they're not.

A fair turkey leg is a massive smoked turkey drumstick. Likely from a male to turkey price for its tender, juicy, raw and savory ham-like flavor. I mean, there might be a ham-like flavor to it. You're talking about the smokiness? Maybe I was talking about the juicy. Like, where do you confidently, like, where do you get the information that makes you 100% sure that a turkey leg at the Renaissance Fair is ham? I guess being a man, I guess. Like, that's one of my death, that's one of my downfalls. But I really didn't, I don't consider turkey's juicy. Dark meat can be juicy. but is it dark meat i thought it was like pink

that's dark meat is just like certain parts of the body no i know what dark meat is i thought it was ham y'all that's ham it's a turkey leg it is pink yeah multiple things can be pink I love the way your brain worked it's pink so it must be ham

this turkey white is turkey white His pink must be ham. Oh my God, I've been telling everybody, Hamgate. I think you've said it on this podcast before. I haven't. No one corrected me. I'm sure I must have tried. Okay.

Well, cool. I'm cool with that. Nice. The thing is, like, be open to learning new things and not being so dead set. You are, yeah. Convicted in something that you know nothing about. True. Yeah.

I have exciting news, but it will mean nothing to you. And everyone already knows there's no point me really saying it. But I'm just really excited because John Green is coming out with a novel for the first time in 10 years. I saw it on Instagram or something. And it's his first ever adult novel. Like smart? No, just like not young adult. So like the fault in our stars was young adult.

Like it's about teenagers. Yeah. And I read it when I was a teen. And so this one is for and about adults. That's cool because his fans are like growing up and they're adults now. Exactly. Yeah. And it was like, he was like, I don't know if I'll ever write a novel again.

So it's really exciting that he's writing one, that he has written one and it's coming on September. I do feel like that's an age you don't stop scratching. The novel is it's like psoriasis. No, I think like you would like, if you're really good at that, you keep creating bangers. Like, why would you, like, what would make you want to stop? I think he's really like gotten his head after the fault in our stars. Like it's really hard to have something that is that successful. and then have to keep writing after that.

He wrote one novel after the fault in our stars. And I think he's spoken a lot about how it's like there's like a really big pressure of like it will it ever measure up. That's that my, that's my favorite saying thing. What? Everything that you create doesn't need to be the best ever. It's a stepping stone to your next thing. Lower the stakes.

Yeah. But then it's hard when it's like you did make your best ever. And then like probably nothing will ever be as good. You don't, like, you just never know that. You never know. You never know. Here's what I'll say about John Green. Fault Narsars, he did the Fault Narsars, and then he did something called Turtles all the way down.

The Fault Narsars was my favorite, but turtles all the way down, like, changed my life. Turtles all the way down changed my life. What does that mean? It was about a character with OCD, and that's how I learned that I had OCD. So even though it wasn't my favorite, it still, like, changed my life, you know? Mm-hmm. So that's cool. Anyway, I'm really excited.

That's going to be great. Thanks. I am excited. Maybe he'll do a press tour. He might. He might. Something I'm excited about. Tell me.

And this one kind of hurts me. Like this is something that I feel like you about you will resonate with this part of me. Yeah. Is it like I've always been like a huge Fleetwood Mac fan? Oh, absolutely. Huge Stevie-Nex fan. that's going to be someone who yeah

like it's really going to be any of those I think because my mom is like such a huge fan you know like I've been like indicted into this like fanship and I've been like it's on my number one artist every year too

like or not number one but like in my top five love story season two by Ryan Murphy is going to be about Fleetwood Mac is that confirmed yes Is he shaking her head? No. Wait, it was posted yesterday. I just saw something on Twitter that said,

because I was going to put it in this, that said it was April 4th. Oh, damn. Got my ass. Stevie has been in American Horror Story. So that's not like out of left field that she would be tied to a Ryan Murphy project. Yeah, no.

But it was Billy Lord and Connor Story. It hasn't been written. No, we're not, if Connor Story was attached to him. So bizarrely, we're. to post something like that like maybe it will maybe maybe well yeah I'm like a oh like I'm gonna I'm not putting a boycott yeah yeah you're mad I see oh my gosh like it got it got so much traction oh I'm so disgusted because that is that would be like such a great love story I mean there's so much tied to it and especially because of how much traction like like with the

That is disgusting. The like leather and lace of it all. What is that? Never get away from the sound of the one that loves you. Oh yeah, yeah, no. You won't. Oh, no, that would be, Lindsay Buckingham and Stevie Nix's story would be beyond.

Just. Wow. We'll see. The AHS zone on Twitter. You're on my list. Yeah. I'm sorry. That is hard.

Dominic Sessa as John McVee. Great casting. I actually met him the other night. They have Connor Stories Lindsay Buckingham Thank you O M

Lucy Boynton as Christine McBee I don't know She was in Bohemian Rhapsody Who's Boonton Wow Did you see Connor Story's Verizon commercial

Really? We can watch it in bonus They made like a feature film of it It's like five minutes long And it's like a horror film It's insane It's a completely new way of doing commercials. Well, this new era of doing commercials, like, I saw something the other day when there was

like Super Bowl commercials coming out and someone was like Sabrina Carpenter teases her Samsung commercial. And it was like the concept of Sabrina Carpenter teasing her commercial. Yeah. We're reaching a point of like consumerism where we're teasing commercials. Yeah. Well said. Yeah.

Like I'm having dreams of products in my. brain. It just, it sucks because like, that's horrible. But like on the other hand, if like Connor story was teasing his Verizon collab, I'd be like sitting at the Verizon store with faded breath.

He's gonna fuck the flip phone. Wait till you see what happened. It was really good. I've watched it like three times. Oh, I'm excited. Yeah, it's like a genuine, it's a genuine horror movie. Let me try to guess.

Are there device. Are their device in Verizon? Are their device? Yeah. president? Kind of, yeah. Yeah. Is it device the president?

I guess I'll just see. I really don't like have any a creative bone to spare. It's a really good, you want me to tell you the concept? Sure. He like, he's at this like really secluded kind of scary house

and like things keep happening. Like the alarm goes off. Something else happened. I don't, shit keeps happening. And then it turns out it's because his ass is so fat. that he kept activating his phone in his back pocket. Interesting.

But it was scary. That's really creative. It wasn't it? To make the concept of a Verizon commercial. To tie in his piece. The concept of a Verizon commercial to be centered around his huge ass. Yeah. Isn't that amazing?

That's what I'm like, maybe we're going in a good direction. But then it's like six, something else comes out and it's 16 steps back. Yeah. I think that's fun. Yeah, it was really fun. To me, that's fun. I enjoyed myself. And I was like, oh, this is scary.

I really liked it. And he felt really creatively fulfilled by the project. Did he share that? Yeah. Oh, that's really great. Yeah, it really is. Love when things come together in that way. I do.

I do too. Oh, well, now I'm really upset. Why? This is about the Fleetwood Mac thing? I know. I saw like the life go out of your eyes. It's really hard for me to like get back into what we were talking about. Do you want me to give you a few options?

Well, I have one right here. Okay, talk to me. Talk to me. Oh, my gosh, unless this is an April Fool's joke, too. Like, I don't know. Like, I could be, no, it is. Like, I just feel stupid as hell. What was it?

Like, there's no point in me sharing anything. Like, this, we should have skipped. Oh, everything, everything I have on my notes today was fake. What? Tell us what they are. The alien breeding program. Like, I don't think that's real. Okay, now I'm like, okay.

And did they actually steal 16 tons of Kit Katz in Europe? I'm assuming not. I believed the Kit Katz because that was yesterday. Is Instagram? It's not kosher to do April Fool's on March 31st. Is Instagram launching a feature, paid feature to stock people's stories unseen? You can already do that. Paid?

Unpaid at anonymous something, anonymous viewer.com or something. I already do that all the time. Yeah, Kit Kat's real. Oh. This is real, but like not really. well like what we believe Matt Gates no I don't think we do

you think Trump could keep that a secret we're breeding aliens they're the it would be crazy aliens actually Obama said they do exist okay well they do but

it's just like did you see him say that it was kind of like whoa I saw him do it on the same day that something else huge happened And I'm like, oh, bummer. That it got buried? Buried, completely.

That would be such a bummer if, like, you release something that was massive and then someone did something else. I think Trump did something that day. And it was just like, okay, that was on purpose. Yeah, it's like when, like, people come out with an album the same day as Taylor Swift. And it's like, you have to just move your album. I think, like, Taylor Swift would usually come out with an album the same day as them. And that would be an intentional move.

Oh. You know, Matthew Morrison is replacing Jonathan Groffin just in time today. I can't believe she was, he was at the same Pilates classes. Is that not hysterical? Just like crouching. Cat literally just texted. This is like this. Speaking of things that are April Fool's.

Oh, do you think it might be? No, it's not. I'm really sick and tired of April Fool's. It's not April Fool's. Nothing's very funny to me right now. It just doesn't make sense. And I'm confused because here's why I'm confused. Jeremy Jordan is replacing Jonathan in a few weeks.

who's like fabulous. But why are we doing this like three week interim of Matthew Morrison? Just like, let's just go right to Jeremy Jordan or extend Jonathan or close down the show for a little. And it's not that Matthew Morrison is bad. It's just like not a match. You know? Like he. I don't.

I'm sorry. It's just, just trust me when I say it's not a match. Okay. So cute. not a match. That's what someone said to Tristan on Grindr. So cute, not a match. Plus is hard. But yeah, Kat texted me last week when we were recording.

And it was just a picture of her and cross fit. Solid core. And her and Matthew Morrison like under a sign that was like girl boss girl town or something just working out together. And she said, is this Mr. Schuster? Absolutely. Why wouldn't it be? Apparently they were knuckling the whole time

Which I oh yeah Like is that not crazy? Built by women power by women Yeah Solidcore is so hard That's really cool that they're doing it together Yeah no I like to me like I'm talking shit But like if I were doing solidcore with Mr. Schuster

I'd be knuckle Knuckle punching him as well Like I can imagine Like having a free Second during solid court To knock someone unless I was laying flat on my ass on the ground. I'm obsessed with his, look at the way he's crouching his feet or like sticking it back out.

I don't look like that. I did a solid core class with, I think it was with Celsius and we all went in. And there was a moment where I was asked to join in with the other young men that did the solid core class. And I passed. out no I passed on the picture okay I would love to show the other young men as a photo I said I'm gonna sit out for the photo because it wouldn't be I don't think it would be it's so cute not a match yeah for me to be in that photo yeah and I love when I get invited to do like a branded event with that is like a workout class because it's like what that I put out like

gave you the idea that I would be like be a good oh I've been invited to I've never gone match for this I like to work out completely alone so much so that I've told you before if I just start ooh brook uh hang nail uh huh leave it alone oh that was huge I ate it oh my god it looked like a second finger coming off of your finger holy moly did that not hurt no it was like the skin was so dead that it wasn't like attached to my skin. Worried. Hey? Oh, y'all, this is bad.

No, I have, here's what I think will help you understand. Is he, can we look up Matthew Morrison one-man show? He's been doing this one-man show and this is what he's leaving to do just in time. And like if we, if I can just get a TikTok of this for you, I think you'll start to understand. Yeah, let's, let's give this one a world. As it's best is a dance. That makes sense. You bring your steps, your heart, your truth.

So I expect others to do the same. But sometimes that dance takes an unexpected turn. This is... Oh my God. This is exactly my set. The ground disappeared from beneath my feet. The call stopped. The door is closed.

And one by one, the people around me turn their backs. and I was left sitting in the silence asking the questions you ask yourself I get it no I don't know if you do no I do I think I got like that was like a good tidbit enough for me to like grasp you would have liked his telling of his 9-11 retelling

as well why do you think I would have liked that it's it's in a unique perspective do you think I would have liked Matthew Morrison's unique retelling of the 9-11 experience I do his 9-11 experience. Where was he?

But you'll have to watch the clip. Okay, I'll watch it in the bonus. Okay, well, why not? I'll hit it here. Automated subway can... I think I get it. The concept of Matthew Morrison getting cheated on on 9-11

and that's what he's speaking about here? Yeah. Here's my 9-11. I was being cheated on. On 9-11, though. He was talking about his experience 9-11, rushing home to his girlfriend, opened the door.

She didn't bed with another man. But, like, he told it, like in his Matthew Morrison way. Oh, and I was at City Winery. He was at City Winery? Nashville. Oh, cool. Oh, he's there right now.

Yeah, I wanted to go see him, but no one would go with me. I would go. Would you? Yeah, I told you this. But now he's doing just in time. Oh, so it's not available. That's the problem. That's the freaking problem.

So, anyway, he is like to follow Jonathan Groff. that's what I'll say about that do you think I'll ever really meet Jonathan Groff? Yeah Yeah there's been several individuals like very close to him I just feel like I keep like getting close

but never close enough In time And I know I technically met him That for a brief moment At Funding Girl but that didn't count In time Okay Just take a booie though

pretty girl you think I'm pretty yeah very pretty oh happy Passover happy Passover my brother I'm not your brother

I'm your papa oh papa I need to get into like a good zone of like Papa E legume again I need to like that's like a lock in

but it just has to happen which sucks you can't force that oh that was so fun right now you can't for we should have cat back on Yeah, we should Yeah

I do need I want to go We're gonna do I want to make a business plan with her To move to Carmel by the sea I'm really like I want to do that as soon as possible To move to my beach town I don't want you to move to your beach town I really like I'm like freaking out It's like the 30 of it all it's like I've got to get started on the rest of my life

You have you're well beyond that But like at what Like when do you start your beach town I'm talking about the whole town. Okay. I think I should move to the keys. I don't know a thing about the keys.

Then I'm like, should I wait till I like get married and it's like I might not, you know? So it's like maybe I should just do it alone with cat. I'm going to show you this Portlandia bit in the bonus. It's so funny. I'm just like I wish I knew an exact timeline of how my life was going to play out so I could plan accordingly around my beach town. There's several movies about that and it never works out in the way that you think. So that's why I'm like, then I should just do it now.

Because it's like, what am I waiting for? I don't know. You're waiting. You have so much happening right now. Maybe wait until you have a lull like I have. Maybe I should start a beach town. I think maybe I should just play tiny bookshop again. But I got to crank up the volume.

Turn it up and notch. Yeah, let's turn it up and notch. Okay. So I'm between the Keys, Carmel by the sea. Newport, Rhode Island. Newport, Rhode Island. And I could do like a nickel. Sparks type of like Carolina.

Yeah. I've never been to any of these places. You've never been at Carmel. No. Oh, it's. I know. I need to go. Monterey's also very nice.

Where's that? Near Carmel. Okay. Yeah, that's like big little lies, right? Yeah, it's so, I just went to a wedding there and it was great. Yeah. I've got to go to these places if I'm going to move there, which I am. At least go do some on the ground field research.

It is crazy. Also, Carmel by the sea like looks fake. This looks fake too. Yeah, it does. But then I also want to get out of California because of the taxes. Okay, on the note on the taxes, let's wrap it up. But thank you guys so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed the black eye and the Carmela at all.

We love to. And we'll see you in the bonus. Bye, everyone. And we'll see you hopefully at our live show. If you're listening on Thursday, it's tomorrow. We'll see tomorrow. They're coming to San Diego. Irvine is next week.

And then Sacramento is also next week, next weekend. Okay, bye. Thank you. What's the difference between butter and butter made from real California dairy? It's the real California farm families behind it. Real people. Real care. Real intention.

Why? Because real matters. So whether you're pouring milk, melting of cheese, or just grabbing one more spoonful of yogurt. Keep it real. Look for the seal. Real California milk by Real California Farm Families. Summer is here, and Ralph's is your destination for hot savings. Find unique items at low prices with a wide assortment of products from our exclusive brands.

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