Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - It Was All A Mirage

Episode Date: November 9, 2023

SUBSCRIBE TO THE NEW BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl  Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OEBbbj This week, Brooke and Connor do what they do best: explore science and make up facts. Like what is a mirage? What is that plastic thing on deodorants? What’s a squall? Plus, Connor gets dumped by Dua Lipa and Brooke breaks down her newest hyperfixations.  NEW MERCH OUT NOW: https://shoptmgstudios.com  Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/  If you listen on Apple Podcasts, go to: https://apple.co/bandc  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/BANDC  Go to https://HelloFresh.com/bandcfree and use code bandcfree for FREE breakfast for life! Go to https://Zocdoc.com/BANDC and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. 0:00 Ugg Season Is Here 0:13 Intro 0:45 Hair Check 1:33 What Is A Mirage 4:34 The Pillars of BNCMAP 5:03 Connor Gets Dumped By Dua Lipa 7:16 Weird Mornings 8:56 Unnecessary Plastic 11:30 BetterHelp 12:51 Making Up Facts 15:07 Max Is The Best 17:39 Getting Starstruck At Shows 18:33 Fibs & Friends 19:11 The Scooped Bagel Drama 23:09 International Marathon Day 24:40 HelloFresh 26:41 26 Miles Is A Long Time 28:00 One Fell or Foul Swoop? 29:08 Priscilla Review 32:56 Connor’s Elvis Impression 35:26 Brooke Is Bistitchual 37:00 The Perfect Shall 37:46 ZocDoc 39:33 The Slippery Protein Bar Slope 42:29 Brooke’s New Breakfast Obsession 44:52 Connor’s Fire Creation 46:56 Potato Crossover  49:15 Getting Banned From Whole Foods 49:52 Washing Fruit 51:04 Grazing On Onion Grass 52:30 Brooke’s New Hyperfixations 56:03 Connor’s Zillow Obsession 59:46 Hitting Ultimate Rage 1:01:50 Cancel Notify Anyway 1:02:37 Things That Shouldn’t Be Healthy 1:05:31 MGK’s Anxiety 1:08:35 Connor’s Show!! 1:11:50 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Prime. Obsession is in session. And this summer, Prime originals have everything you want. Steamy romances, irresistible love stories, and the book to screen favorites you've already read twice. Off campus, L, every year after, the love hypothesis, Sterling Point, and more. Slow burns, second chances, chemistry you can feel through the screen.

Your next obsession is waiting. Watch only on Prime. Winter is so last season. And now spring's got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders. That perfect hang on the patio sundress. Those sandals you can wear all day and all night.

And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear up on that envelope. It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan. It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation. Plan B is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like DoorDash.

No ID, prescription, or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception, and it won't impact your future fertility. That's Freedom to Be. Use us directed. I haven't really gone outside, so I thought it was still the temperature. It's been since I left my house today. It wasn't. I'm sweating. 75. But I'm doing hugs.

Oh, you are? Yeah. You're in barecloth. Hey, Brooke. Hi, Connor. Are you ready to MAP? I'm ready to pee. Ignorance is bliss.

I'm living in a world of my own, and it's awesome. Oh, I thought I was responsible for 9-11 when I was five. Where were you? in Pennsylvania. Touch grass, might I suggest. We're just going to dive right in today. I don't know what you're going to get from me today. No, we can't do, we can't start with that.

Your hair is doing like a, bad. It's just doing like this. No, before we flatten the curve, it was kind of doing that bell thing. You know what I mean? A bell curve? It's doing a bell curve up like this. Flatten the curve, Brooke. I don't see it.

Two weeks to flatten the curve. Other side. Other side. Other side. Yeah, yeah. Nope. In front, though. In front.

Just like the bangs area. Yeah, kind of. There it is. Okay. Do you see it or no? Was it just my angle? I didn't see it. Maybe it was your angle.

But I'm not liking what I'm seeing. Perhaps it was a mirage. Oh, I don't understand the mirage that you posted. On my Instagram? Yeah. What do you think a mirage is? By the way, I want to... Okay.

A mirage is something when it's like an illusion of the mind, right? Yeah, but do you realize people Not everyone's going to see the mirage that you're seeing Yes, they do if you take a video of it If it's an illusion of the mind It's your mind Brooke If I'm taking a visual of a mirage

I don't know I don't know Not that funny No, if I take a video of it I'm looking at a video of a mirage I took like obviously it's there I didn't see it she goes, where's the mirage?

I go, it's right there. She goes, I'm not seeing it. I go, sorry. What was it, though? It was like, um. Additional ocean? There was like, the land. I don't know what part, like Palos Verdes was kind of going over in a peninsula format.

And it just drops off and I know that it doesn't. And how would you expect people that aren't familiar with the area to know that that's a moron? Did you turn on the volume? I said, well, there. No. Okay, so right there. I was scrolling and I was going across. I go, right here's math.

Malibu and then right here should still be Malibu and it just dropped off and I said unless unless California is falling into the sea, that's a mirage because it doesn't actually drop off. I don't think that's a mirage. I think it's just like a perspective issue. A mirage is like when you see water in the desert. Okay, so I was seeing water where land should be. I think a mirage is whatever you make. A mirage can be anything you want.

Okay, I can get on board with that. Different strokes for different folks. Hey guys, welcome back to Brooklyn. Connor make a podcast. I'm B. I'm C. And today we're talking about the science behind mirages. Yeah, of course. Should we look it up? Like, do we start out with a science lesson right away this week? We already know what it is. I don't think we do. Okay, so let's look at it doesn't seem like, it doesn't seem like me and you are know what it is. It's a type of obstacle illusion. So I think an obstacle illusion, you're not everybody's going to see the same obstacle illusion.

Maybe, maybe they are actually. Okay, it's a type of obstacle illusion. The sun creates a layer of hot air near the ground. This hot air causes the light to bend upward, creating a reflection of the sky on the ground. We need like a translator. I know. Because, okay, yeah, that's a lot of stuff. This is a record player type situation.

Yeah. It's out of our hands. Can we type in mirages for dummies? Like, I think that that would help. I think that for dummies books were so far before their time. I hope that person is having an awesome day. I bet they're loaded. They should deserve to be.

They deserve to be. Are they still producing? I don't know. Oh my gosh. I just had a like a Jimmy Neutron brain blast. What was it? I don't even want to say it because I think that I might pursue this venture. You're going to do something similar?

Like a for dummies podcast unless they already claimed it. A mirage is an image that looks real, but it's really not there. Okay. Thanks. Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, like everything comes back to object permanence. Oh. Oh my gosh, it always does.

It all circles back to two things. Object permanence and the fact that one touch is really all it takes. Yeah. Oh my God, I forgot about that. Thank you for reminding me of the second pillar. The second pillar of B&C. B&C is that is it one touch or one kiss though. Touch, it's one touch.

One touch, okay. One touch is all. Is that by Diwalipa, by the way? Take it away, Connor. That was an accident and thank you. So everyone might notice an air about me today walking in. here. I'm carrying myself in a different way because I am on Duolipa's

static Instagram. We're not talking stories. We're not talking I don't know what else. There's just talk about... Enfeed. I'm talking about an infeed post. Yeah. Granted it's slide six and I'm hardly there below... Your Twitter. Caucasian James. Yeah, it's my Twitter. It's a screenshot. I don't think she's ever posted anything

that's like photo dumpy like that, like a screenshot of a post. You were a part of her. her first dump. That's not a thing that a lot of people can say. Duolipa dumped me. Yeah. I was dumped by Duolipa. That's an awesome thing to be able to say.

I'm going to say that out of context forever. Yeah, that's very exciting. I got a text this morning that was like, oh my God, duolipa posted Connor on her Instagram. And my immediate thought was like, there is literally no way Connor was hanging out with Duolipa and didn't already post about it 48 times. But then this made sense.

So I, um, You know how we like, well, I'll get there in a second. How did she even find this? Because it's from 22. I think, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two. So I posted that, we, we, we both posted these February 22nd of last year. So it was two, two, two, two, two, two. Which I think might be like a reason she might have screenshot it because it's like manifesting on two, two, two, two, two, two.

I don't know. She screenshoted it then? No, well, no, no, no. No, I don't think so. But I think that there's, I think that she has a team. I think that she might be someone who doesn't run her Instagram account because it's so lucrative. Oh, that sucks. And I do know that there's someone from her company, Service 95, that I think follows me.

Don't you think that she would at least approve it, though? I don't know. If it's her personal. I don't know. This falls under that group of people that I include, like, Tom Brady, like those people that, like, clearly they're... Like, yeah. Like their Instagram is a... And yeah, like a company.

Okay. But you have to, that's, this was one of those mornings where you like wake up and for some reason this morning my alarm was Hollaback girl by Gwen Stefani and I don't know if that has something to do with the. Did you set it? No, my normal one is a really relaxing thing and it was like, today it was, oh, ha, this my shit. And I was like, what the hell is even that? How do you even set it to be a song?

Brooke, I don't know. I've never, I don't, I've got two songs. songs like saved on my Apple thing. One of them is Hollaback girl and one of them, let me just double check what it is before I start talking out of my ass. Music. I don't use Apple Music. Right.

You just type in music. Okay. Apple music. So it's already pulled up. It's that and let's see. I know there's one more. Soak up the sun by Cheryl Crow. Okay.

And. I don't think we can have music on. I'm trying to turn it off now. On the pod. Too hard by Little Baby. Okay. And that is it. It's Gwen Stefani, Cheryl Crow, and Little Baby.

It's very much like a time capsule, Apple Music. Because I don't... Everyone, most people I know, you Spotify. So it's like the music that you have on Apple Music is music from a very specific part of, a Pacific part of your life. Yes. Yeah. It's like days of your little baby trip too hard.

I am sweating so bad because it's 78 degrees in Los Angeles and I want so badly to be able to wear ugs and a sweater, which I am doing, but I'm paying the price. And it's very serendipitous that this morning I got an old spice, new old spice deodorant, thank God, thank the heavens. Do you hear something horrible? Huh. And then we'll circle back and close out, Dua.

but I went last night before I went and worked out, got my deodorant out, went to put it on my nubile armpits, soft pits. And it was my unopened one with that plastic thing on it and I wasn't looking and I just scraped it down my armpit. That's horrible. It was a bad feeling. When has anybody ever opened a deodorant

or a similar type of object and said, thank God for that little plastic thing? It's like an appendix. Remove it. Completely useless. Yeah. is it for like if it melts in your car I'm sure no I mean it would hold it in place it would still melt it would still melt with that thing but I think that it would like hold it and then reform if you put it in your freezer I guess serving as a mold I don't know I'm fine I'd rather take the risk not to play devil's advocate for old spice incorporated but it's all deodorant products some makeup products do it and then when I take it off it rips all the makeup off with it canceled that little piece of plastic canceled if you don't mine. I don't care.

Okay. Yeah. I shot mine into my trash can Kobe. That was the best part of that. You know there are people that keep that beyond the first use? They will take it off, put the deodorant on their pits, put the little plastic thing that one. Swear to God. You're not talking about the lid,

right? No. I'm talking about the second I just want to make sure before we move forward. Why would they do that? Do you know someone that does that? No, but I assume there are people. You're just guessing. Yeah. How are you just going to guess that? That's like a crazy thing to guess. Because people do weird things. Oh, yeah.

People do weird things. There's got to be at least one person that does that. And I'm not even lying. That doesn't feel like a lie because it's like I know it is true. I don't have the evidence, but I don't need it because I know it's true. I hate that thing. Does it have a name? How did you find that on Google images?

Yeah, what did you Google? A little piece of plastic on deodorant? Oh. Oh, but it's not the lid. It's the secondary. It's a secondary lid. Oh, it's the plastic cap. Yeah, it's a plastic cap.

It's a classic cap of it all. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Anyway. This is one of those episodes that we're going to get to the bottom of some things and we're going to make some assumptions

that don't exist about other things. Nisca falls under our perfect bullet points that I still can't find and now it makes me think that I dreamed that conversation. No, you did make that. You might have just texted it to me. I can't find it in our text or in my notes or anything and I know that I said Brooke, hang on, let me write this down

so I don't forget. I feel like it's in my screenshots on my phone. You know, just look up the Pacific words. You can like search it via camera roll the words that you might have typed. Don't do it now because it's going to take you 40 hours. But I think that you will be able to find it. Basically our biggest complaints on here

from people that decide to listen, I think, to one episode and quickly leave. Right. is that we make up facts. Okay, well, it's not illegal. No. We talk about things that we know nothing about, which is why we make up the facts.

Right. And then what was the other bullet point, which is what we need to change our description to? Is it something science-based? We skew the data. We explore science. Yeah, we explore science. Yeah.

I think that's, and we do. That is facts. That's facts on God. That's facts on God. That's not a made-up fact. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. And see you in court, I guess.

Okay. That's, yeah, not you. No, I know. Well, you'd be there if I go. Yeah, as you're not witness. No, I think we'd be sitting together on the whatever side. What's called when I'm there for you? No, we're going to be there.

We're there together because we're both being probably sued together as an entity. See, when I think of it, I think of you being the maiden person that's sued. and me. I do think there's a better chance of me getting sued for something. Giving a testimony. Is that the word? Like if you were a witness.

Like no, I'm not a witness but because I'm there for you. Oh, a testimony. Yeah, a testimony. Something like that. Sure. That's fine. Okay.

Yeah, that's my role. Oh my gosh. How was your weekend? Tim Dillon, we'll have a heyday with this episode if it gets a hold of it. Oh, we just have to pride it that that doesn't happen.

I'll send it to him when we get them. No, there's no need. There's no need. My weekend, my weekend. Oh, I didn't do. I didn't do Didley Because And everyone

This is gonna be one of those things Where everyone's mood just plummets But it's okay Max got attacked by a dog Oh God yeah Which sucked ass Yeah He didn't care

At all And so This was just like so good Through him through Didn't care Didn't make any noises This dog like ran up Big huge German chep

And ran up to him Full blown just like full body attacked him On the street And the dude's like Sorry sorry sorry And I literally didn't say a word I did body this German Shepherd into a car.

Right. Because at that point I was like, that's not a dog. Saying it out loud, tough. But I didn't know what else to do. I don't know what you, yeah, I don't know what you do in that situation. Luckily, it didn't catch me by Christmas because I'll be buffed by then. Yeah, thank God. I would have pulverized him.

Thank God. Thank God. Oh, he would have flown across the street. Yeah. But the guy grabbed him was like, I'm so sorry. And I was like, didn't say word, went inside. And then I was like, oh, Max just like genuinely couldn't get a shit. And I look and he's bleeding

You know So then I had to like go like take him out And like clean it and everything I'm calling people And they're like he's probably fine Just like keep an eye on it and he's fine It's a scab now Okay good But it was a gash

Right So that kind of put a little squall in my squall Never heard that word in my life Made it up makes sense Put a squall in my Friday plans And then Saturday I'd Um Been watching a lot of football

So I'm trying Actually? Yeah The NFL or the college? Both watch UT win again and then I didn't do anything the rest of the night because I've been prepping for New York this week oh my god are you excited no still not nervous yeah nervous that's normal yeah yeah yeah yeah at least tomorrow wow and then that's it um we're recording early this week

so that you can so that Connor can go do a show so if anything happens it's Monday right now if anything happens between now and Thursday when the pod comes out we're We're not responsible for any of that. I don't think. I have this weird feeling that nothing's going to happen. But that's because I'm a narcissist. And I feel like I have such a big week that like no one else is going to do anything out of respect. Right.

Okay. Including duly, but she got ahead of it. Right. So I can talk about it. Well, we'll see what happens. Yeah. She'll probably post. She'll probably post my shows on her story as well to support.

Yeah, she'll be there. To show support. If I know one thing, it's a duoleep is going to be at your show. She's going to, yeah, she's going to come out front row. It's gonna be good though Do you think like at your show If you looked out in the crowd And saw like an insane celebrity

You would freeze? Mm-hmm If I saw Duolipa at my comedy show I would have to Would you address it? Yeah, I think I would pass out If I saw Duolipa specifically Uh-huh

You, okay Or I would pee in my hydro flask again Like I don't know Like I would lose bodily function Some part of my body would I can't even like that is horrible But I can't think of any Like I'm thinking of like

Duolipa but like If I saw like, who's a good example of just like a... Elton John? That one, believe it or not, like Elton John, I could be like, oh my God, is that Elton John? You know, and then that would be probably the whole set. Okay. Guys, Elton John is here. Does everyone feel like they got their money's worth?

Because now I can just kind of hang out. That's where the pressure is. Like, I want to make sure everyone has a good time. That's why I try to bring people that are funnier than me to the show. So that if they come out, I'm like, you got them? Now, at the show, are you doing a set or are you the host? or both. I'm the host

and I do a set throughout. I've kind of built this format of this show that I really like. Is it like the one I saw? Yeah, in Brea, yeah.

It's better than that because I've tweaked a bunch of stuff and changed and taken stuff out. Okay. Especially for New York because they don't know what parking is. Oh, okay, yeah.

I can talk a lot about parking. That's true. All my other stuff. LA people love parking jokes. But they don't drive in New York so they wouldn't understand what parking is. No,

they wouldn't possibly. Yeah. Now, once we get to the scooped bagel of it all, which surely you guys have heard Scooped bagel man is absolutely sweeping the nation. I have heard of Scooped Bagel Man, but I haven't done a deep dive. Could you explain?

Yeah. So Taylor Offer is like, of course, he's one of my friends. Taylor, who? Offer. That's Scoop Bagel Man? Yeah. He started that company, Feet the comfy. F-E-A-T?

F-E-A-T, the comfy buddies and so that stuff. And, like, people, I can't tell if he's kind of like feeding into the, I know how to piss off New Yorkers. They'll kick your ass Like like like now It's kind of a joke right now But someone will probably kick your ass Because they love their bagels He basically like

What he does say is bagels in LA Because obviously you can go in and order your gluten free Free range bread He goes in and he gets a scooped bagel Which is like you scoop all the bread out of the bagel And then you've got like just the crust of the bagel And then you put the cream cheese in Yeah that's not a new thing though

Yeah he did it in New York People have been doing that for centuries I hadn't heard of it Everyone else heard of what a scooped bagel works? Yeah. I can rot my head around it, but I am so scared of New Yorkers that you kind of just like, that's like being in a different country. You just, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.

Is that? Are you saying that they all do that in New York? I'm confused. No, like, you just kind of don't mess with the status quo. So are you saying that he's messing with the status quo? Yeah. Okay. So he's going in and saying, hey, I know that you woke up at the break of dawn to make these bagels.

Do you mind scooping out? The fat of your work and then filling it up with oh he's asking them to do it yeah because when you order a bagel They scoop it out and then they make your bagel and you they give it to you they know they wrap it up and you walk you walk down the street with it I thought he was scooping out his own no you can feel free to scoop your bagel yeah If you're quiet about it okay now now now I'm now now I'm understanding the problem yeah Okay, oh That's the second thing that's happened in a day what I think I'm so hot that I am actually starting to have a heat stroke That would be great for views Yeah

What was I saying? I don't know Oh because my dad used to scoop out his bagel Really? Oh god, yeah He's like a carb watching king Yeah that's what Taylor says And I would like to use the innards of the bagel And kind of roll them up and make a bagel wall Oh wow

Yeah it's like a gobshopper of bagel Yum Yeah it's awesome that sounds great I love making the bread a little bit more dense And it's dense that's it That's the word Well, he's getting just annihilated. You should, if he's your friend, bring him out at your show.

He was asked to leave New York. Okay, I'm like missing all this. Yeah. No, I mean, it was a phenomenon. I think it got like, it got so, it had like hundreds of thousands of comments on it. Did he post about it in the first place? Yeah, he posted his like, oh my God, the guy at the coffee shop at the bagel shop like told me to fuck off. Okay.

And I'm not scooping your fucking bagel, bro. and he was like, oh, like, how ridiculous is it that this guy wouldn't scoop my bagel? And New Yorkers come to each other's defense. And they say, get the fuck out of here. That Instagram account, the New Yorkers that post just like New York local content or like stuff about New York or that kind of stuff where it's like going viral in New York. Bought him a plane ticket and a pair of AirPods and sent him a car to fly him out of New York City. Actually? Yes.

Did he leave? He left. Is he ever coming back? Probably, because I think that he really figured out the algorithm and how to, like, he was in, like, every publication known to man. I don't want to go viral for those reasons because I can't take one person saying, like, fuck off. Right. He's kind of thriving. So, go Taylor.

Godspeed. Scoop. Scoop bagel guy. Scoop away. Even at the New York Marathon yesterday, congrats to those who participated. there were signs that were like run like the scooped bagel guy is behind you like it's that big of a deal i had no idea it was that big of a deal it's not even a bleep it's not even a blip in the in the in the grand scheme of things like he's actually taking

up real estate in people's brains wow go figure go figure man did you see all the new york marathon stuff what do you mean all the new york marathon stuff i saw the people around the new york marathon i feel like it's all i saw yesterday on online as we've discussed my page is simply just Matthew Greg Goebler and Andrew Garfield period, that's it. To me, I like I know personally like 10 people

that ran it. I thought it was like hard to run a marathon. No, it definitely isn't easy. But it's like, she may very accessible for many. Accessible? Accessible. Not that it should be inaccessible. People have been running marathons for centuries. But like this is kind of like

yesterday was like the Santa Barbara Marathon. The, New York Marathon, some Australian Marathon. Like, it was just like Marathon Day. Was yesterday like National Marathon Day? Was that a thing? I don't know. I thought they intentionally didn't have them on the same days.

Yesterday was definitely Santa Barbara and New York City. I didn't know. Does every city have a marathon? I don't know. Major cities? Major cities. There's something about marathons. Good or bad?

I can't tell. That's fine. Yeah. Do you mean like loser list vibe? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's something that I just don't understand. Can't wrap my head around. Like, why would anyone want to do that?

That's where I stand. You do? Yeah. 26 miles. Respect it, would never. Yeah, that's a long time. I don't get running as a whole. Yeah.

Like why, like, why ever? I like, I know. But I get to a point where I'm like, I don't see a need to run. Like, maybe. To push yourself? To push yourself? I think some people just love seeing what the human body is capable of, which is cool. But I like to try that out in a new way, like, see how long I can sit in the same spot.

Yeah. And you would be surprised. Oh, my gosh. I would be surprised. Oh, I can't. What is that? Oh. Those were all yesterday.

Okay. I may have been on to something. That seems like several. Yeah, it does. Okay Wow, go figure Yeah What's the furthest you've ever run in one fell swoop

12. Is it fell swoop F-E-L or foul foul foul Foul? Foul? One foul? One fowl? I don't know, it's fell? Like foul like a chicken? No, like more like a foul

That I don't know what it means Different foul. I've got no clue Fell? Fell? Fells? Then what does that mean? One fell swoop?

One fell swoop? Like one. Guess what that means? Kind of like when you fall it's all in one swift movement one fells what is it last word like one downward swoop like kind of like

see I'm getting it like this like oh I'm gonna pick all this stuff up one fell swoop like a bird's wing yes Connor I think of birds too so that's why I was thinking foul kind of oh foul like chickens but a different I think you're thinking I was thinking coop I think I must have been thinking of of birds and such can we look up one fell swoop meaning just really quick and then we can move on we'll move on to whatever we were talking about?

Bird of prey. The imagery is of a bird of prey. Wow. If something's done in One Fell Swoop, it's done in a single occasion or by a single action. Can we look up the origin of that? Shakespeare. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, no wonder we don't understand it.

Okay. I've never claimed to be a poetry podcast. Why did you say One Felt Swoop? Don't remember. It doesn't matter. How was your weekend? It was good. What I do.

I went to see Priscilla. Yeah Which Did you hear like all the Stuff about Jacob Allorty versus Austin Butler And Jacob Allerty only knowing about Elvis from Lilo and Stitch Whereas Austin Butler dedicated three years of his life to learning how to talk like Elvis and actually still still is and will forever be Oh my gosh

Lose your list I don't think like I don't think that's a fair thing to do It's just not that serious I guess it is to him because it's like the role of a lifetime. Yes, yeah. I guess it's not the role of the lifetime because two came out in a year.

No, this one was about Priscilla. Austin was doing a movie about Elvis. This was a movie about Priscilla featuring Elvis. That makes sense? From what I've seen... Although he was, Jacob really was, like, Elvis. You know what I mean? From what I've seen of it,

it seems like Jacob might be Elvis. He was really, really, really good. Yeah. Which I was still like, kissing booth is where he started right then to euphoria which he's great in but like to me it's like you need one more thing after euphoria and post being in the kissing booth for me to be like okay you're great he's he's really good yeah yeah he's up there he's really good um the movie he doesn't do much in euphoria honestly like well also with euphoria i'm like are you acting or is that you like i don't

know i didn't see kissing booth oh you should it's marvelous isn't it like six movies of that? Three. The first one really is like, I will ride for a kissing booth. How do they have three kissing booths? I think it's based off of books. We can't get one more fools gold, but we can get three kissing boots. I would, I would, I was going to say I would advocate for a fourth, but maybe not.

We need a renaissance of rom-coms. I'll say it. You've said it many times. I'll say it again until someone does something about it. Okay, so Priscilla was. Good. It was good. Yeah, it wasn't enjoyable, though, if that makes sense.

Because it's like, obviously about the abusive relationship between Rosilla and Elvis, which is not, like, fun to watch. Yeah. But it was good. That's like Killers of Flower Moon. That's exactly, I had not been able to put it in the words. That's the same thing. This is, like, a tough watch.

But it's like, I should watch this. Yeah. Yeah. And did you hear about, like, all the emails that went on between, it's Lisa Marie, right? is the baby, or not baby anymore, but Elvis and Priscilla is the baby. She's like 50. Because she was emailing Sophia. Is it Coppola or Coppola?

Coppola. Copla. She was emailing Sophia Coppola and she was like, I'm not comfortable with my father being portrayed like this. By Jacob? Or just like the way that he was being portrayed in the movie. Like as, like, he was abusive for sure. You know what?

So she was like, I'm not comfortable with this. And then Sophia was like, I'm like portraying him with. complexity and he's very complicated and like I think and your mother is also Priscilla was a producer on it. So Priscilla signed off on it. Oh God, signed off and it was based on her book. Priscilla and Lisa Marie not get along? Well, Lisa Marie just died. But they did, I think they did get along. Priscilla's alive. But Lisa Marie was basically saying like my mother like doesn't know what she's doing. Yeah. And then she passed. Yeah.

Yeah. Kind of crazy, huh? She should have made a TikTok about it before passing because that would have lived on past the letter. Well, no, the letter. Someone made a TikTok of the letter. Oh. That's how I learned about it. Yeah. Well, okay. I was just thinking, like, first of all, it was emails, the emails. I don't know who, how, who got their hands on those emails. Oof, you almost need, like, a second sibling to sign off on it.

She was the only child. Tough. Yeah. The only way we could have done this is if they would have cast me in the third Elvis. movie in three years and I could have been his truth her truth and the truth me you want to be Elvis yeah let me hear your best Elvis accent hey there oh hang on hey hey hey hang on what can I actually stitch so like no that's not stitch no no I can do it hey uh hang on can I see what is what is something he says there there was one line in the I don't know why I did fat Albert

that Jacob Allority said and the theater everyone started cracking up because it was like so accenty. He was like, the way he said daddy I can't do was like, sorry. Sorry, daddy. Like, I'm sorry, daddy. Okay, you got it. Now you kind of got me. Yeah. Hey, uh, he, hey, do.

I just need a sentence. But there was also a text. It was something about like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, dad. Well, I don't want that, I would rather not say. You don't want to say the word? No, I just, I want like a, give me like a normal line that he says. I don't, I don't remember the script.

The scene I saw, the scene I saw you're like, uh, yeah, yeah, go get on the bus. I'll be there in a second. That's not Elb. That doesn't sound like Elvis. All right. Well, maybe I need three years to prepare. Yeah, you might.

You just might. Maybe I need to rewatch Lilo and Stitch. Come more times. Mm-hmm. But I would see it if I were you. I'll go see it. It was good. Yeah.

And the soundtrack was really good. as well. I'm not surprised. Yeah. But you know what? No Elvis music really. Because it wasn't about him at the end of the day. Every one of those new movies coming out like it's like about Elvis and the weekend has a song in it. I'm like why didn't? No, this was all like really good like old like crooney type of songs. Oh nice. Which I love as it turns out. And Dolly Parton's I will always love you which it turns out my favorite song that I've ever heard in my life. Hadn't heard it before Alvin. By Whitney Houston? Yeah. Dolly Parton's cover. Wow. Really. It tells a different story, even though it's saying the same words.

Well, isn't that something? Yes. Connor, yeah, it really is. I love that. Me too. And also, what else I did this weekend? Went to my second crochet class. Yes.

Check this out. Made a beanie. It's not, like, the ends aren't weaved in, but put that on your head for me now. Okay. Don't worry about the little piece of string. Okay, I won't. Put it in the back. No, put it in the back.

No, put it in the back. Rat's tail. Yeah. I don't know if it will fit your head. And now they, cute. No, I think it fits. Does it fit? Cute. Keep it on.

It's really to die for. It's absolutely adorable. I don't know if something's wrong with my beanie or your head. Why do you say that? I don't know. Can I see what it look like? Can we do a reflection? It's pretty.

It's real pretty. Oh. Papa Smurf. Yeah. Or a condom. But, you know, once we weave those ends in, Connor, totally game to do. Yeah, fix me up. Yeah.

Anyway, that's my second crochet project. You can call me either verse because I crochet in it or by stitual, whichever you prefer. I kind of want this on the side. Okay, that's fine. Wait, what is that like a genie? What? It looks like a do rag. Pop this off then and make sure that we're in that case.

Yeah. You love it? I love it. Yeah, it was actually very comfortable. Really? I'm finding it to be quite icky. Yeah. I want to make a beret.

You should. I know. I wish that was one of the projects. The next project is a shawl, which is like, I don't want to wear a shawl. Oh, you should start wearing shawls. You think? Yeah, they're the perfect, like, I can't decide. What would I ever wear a shawl?

If there's a slight breeze in the restaurant and there's nowhere else to sit and you can't figure out where the hell is that air coming from. And you're saying, I'm going to pop up my shawl. I'd rather drape a sweatshirt over me without putting it on. fully. That's what a shawl is. I know, but it looks better than a shaw. I don't know. I think a shawl kind of says quiet luxury. Shals, I guess a shawl is what you make it. Like mirage. Yeah. Fibes. Okay, two things that are whatever you make, you decide to make them. Shals and mirages. I can get on, I can get on board with that. I can get under that. Yeah. Obviously, I'm walking on air this morning after I'm on Duelapas Instagram. I am floating. Max immediately takes a dump in the middle of

sidewalk. Yeah. I forgot a bag. Yeah. So I had to like get a leaf and like push it off to the side. And then I walked to the coffee shop. My card gets declined for a coffee. So I had to leave and there was a line of people behind me. Yeah. Humbolded. Yeah. So you not have multiple cards. I had just left with my Apple Pay this morning. You don't have multiple cards on there? Um, no. Can you put multiple cards on ApplePay? Yeah. Did you ever figure out why it was declined? I haven't looked into it. Okay. I'm too scared. I probably would look into it. I need to today.

And then what? What? Oh, I thought you're going to say something. No, I wasn't. Okay. And then, so for breakfast, I had a perfect bar, thinking I was being really healthy. What's that? So it's those, like, refrigerated protein bars.

They have them here, like, or we got them here. I love them. They're small. They're dense. And they're full of protein. Mm-hmm. And, uh, I actually can see them in my mind's eye.

They're kind of wet. Yeah, they're kind of dense. I can't eat a dry protein bar anymore. Like a room temp dry protein bar? Like a, what would be a, I feel like all protein bars are wet. No. At least a little. Brooke.

What? Except for like a kind bar, which is so dry. Kind. Nature Valley. Oh, Nature Valley's a granola bar. Oh, protein bar. Yeah. Okay.

protein bars are like have or like protein based which is usually wet oil in there but this one is like I could juice it okay yeah and like drink it cliff bars are wet which is why I like that but they're like more of a syrup yeah like just all sugar so this one the day I found out cliff bars like aren't good for you was one of the worst days of my life that was shocking for a lot of people it was a complete took me by surprise blindsided me beyond belief Yeah, exactly. I had a protein bar. Okay, so your date takes a turn when you say, I'm going to be healthy.

You know, I'm going to have a healthy breakfast. I'm going to have a perfect bar. 17 grams of protein. And then all of a sudden you're hungry again. And you're like, I'm going to have a second one. Yeah. That's when it starts to be like, oh, you've kind of like defeated the whole thing of having a protein bar. Because now you've, like, had two.

But there are so many people that say, like, as long as you're, I had too. Protein, like it doesn't matter how many calories. There are so many different schools of thought that it's actually, you just have to do what feels right to you. I know. So if that second protein bar felt right to you, you needed to eat it. No, didn't feel right.

Okay. Still doesn't feel right. Okay. Did you eat it, though? I ate it. Okay. You know what? I cannot stop eating for breakfast.

I don't know how you're going to feel about this specifically. Mashed potatoes. Oh, you lost me. With two runny eggs either on them or next to them. you need to like mix it in. Because it's the same as eggs and hash browns really. Yeah. But better. It's really good.

I like those. I like mashed. I'm addicted to. I don't know about a runny egg. It gives me a horrible stomach egg, but I, I'm addicted. I don't know about a honey egg with my mashed potatoes. I would, I would recommend that everyone give it a try. Um.

Because, like, if you take a step back, that's a good breakfast. You're getting your eggs and your potato. You need one more thing probably Maybe like a fruit A fruit was good I had some strawberries Oh good Oh god that's an incredible breakfast

I saw that on your story actually the other day And I was like I'm not even gonna ask Okay But good to know Yeah That's not bad It's really good Are you making mashed potatoes at home?

No I ordered them from Whole Foods You ordered them? Like a while ago And I've been eating them Well past their expiration Maybe that's why I'm getting a stomach cake Yeah To potatoes go bad

No god yeah probably Especially if they're made with other ingredients. Everyone's nodding yes. Like everyone knew that. Did everyone know that? Well, I feel like milk in it and stuff. You know. You put milk in it?

I'm sure they do. Oh my gosh. My mashed potatoes are mashed potatoes. Yeah, you put tons of dairy products in mashed potatoes. Oh, when I make mashed potatoes. I simply mash the potatoes. That's a baked potato mashed up. That's not mashed potatoes.

But like think about two eggs on like a mound of tater tots. That's good too. Yeah. and sometimes restaurants put a fried egg on top of your fries that's awesome i can't think of any sort of potato that wouldn't be better with an egg on it a raw potato except for a sweet potato oh facts on god yeah um what did i oh i forgot what i was going to say that's fine i stopped eating like savory breakfast during the week completely though which is kind of weird now It's like a weekend thing for me.

I'm such a savory person. It wouldn't be possible. I hate, not hate, that's a really strong word. I just, it doesn't do it for me, things that aren't savory. I don't even want to talk about this restaurant because I talked about it last week. So it's kind of just like, seems like I got this restaurant on my mind. But I remember. Nothing wrong with that?

Giata that I said. Oh, Connor. And I got that meatball, that parmesan, or that meatball marinara. So I noticed that they had biscuits. And no one in LA really has biscuits. And if they do, they're hard to find. But this place has biscuits. AFC has biscuits.

Yeah. Like, these are like homemade, like, I love a KFC biscuit. Yeah, it seemed like you didn't for a second. If I'm blackout drunk. But I, this is like a, this is like a biscuit that's like, could turn into a Pokemon. I don't know how to describe it. Like, it like looks like a, it looks like a, it looks like a mac. like a

like it could bring life into this world. It looks like yeah, it looks like you can make a Disney animated short out of the biscuit. It's alive. And I got two, listen to this. Love a biscuit with personality.

Yeah, there's $6. You're like, okay, this is an investment. This biscuit. It's not a side piece. It's part of the main course. Oh,

it's a key piece. Yeah. Yes. And I got two and I saved one. And I made eggs, Applewood smoked bacon, pepper jack cheese. I put jam

on it and then I put saratcha on the jam. I screamed out loud in my house. I'm a fucking genius. That's what I was thinking about. I was like, I got this in advance. I invested $6 in this biscuit and I made this meal at home and it's better than anything I've eaten out in decades. That's very exciting when that happens. I've been feeling the exact same way about my mashed potatoes and eggs. I got a little bit emotional when I recounted my breakfast. I don't blame you. I kind of got, I think I might be hungry because all I've had today is too perfect. bars. And you had some coggle.

I had some cogle. Not my best work. I thought it was pretty good. It's really old. So you might be feeling sick soon. And if that happens, don't worry. It's just the cogle. Did you use any of those potatoes from old foods?

I wonder if there was one piece of cagle that was very much in the mashed potatoes. So I wonder if maybe you got that one. No, I didn't try. I'm like not, everyone responded to my story of my eggs and mashed potatoes. I thought they were going to be upset about the eggs and mashed potatoes, but what they were upset about was the strawberries touching the mashed potatoes. Yeah, that's what I was upset about. Oh, food touching does not bother me.

Not me either, but there are some things like that should never cross paths, like a shark and an alligator. But strawberries. What would happen if that happened? That's, there's a reason we don't know. But the potatoes and the strawberries. Like, it's not like I'm dipping in it. the strawberries in the potatoes on purpose.

Have you ever dipped a fry in mashed potatoes? No. That's incest. I'm obsessed. It's so good. I know it doesn't feel like 100% like morally sound, but it's so good. It's just so weird because, like, I would dip a fry in a chocolate shake, but I never don't know my mashed potatoes to do a chocolate shake.

I wouldn't get a scoop of mashed potatoes and then dip it in my chocolate cake. Because mashed potatoes already have some other ingredients. Oh, I keep forgetting that your mashed potatoes are so different than the ones I made. I want a loaded baked potato that's loaded with Taylor Tots and French fries. Whoa. And mashed potatoes on top. Maybe, like, like, the sour cream. Maybe Brooke and Connor make a baked potato.

Oh, we should do baked potato bar. I love potatoes. What if we got like full-blown arrested at Whole Foods by mixing the different genres of potatoes? Oh, my God. My mind's starting to spin. Stop gender blending those potatoes. Oh, my God. So instead of like a dollop of sourcats.

cream on the baked potato, dollop of mashed potatoes, and instead of, like, crunchy bacon bits, crunchy bits of French fries. That's upset. Oh, my gosh. Gut bomb. My God, I was watering so bad. It sounds so good. I had a friend in college, who we were all at Whole Foods, and you know how you, like,

taste? Some things you taste, what are some things you taste before you buy? Grape. Grapes? He was eating one grape, the secret shop. came up and said, you need to leave the store immediately. What's a secret shop or someone that pretends to shop but is really part of the FBI? They watch for people stealing.

Banned from Whole Foods for one year. I had no idea. I thought that it was universally understood that you have to try a grate. Crazy that, I mean, I think it is. But crazy just to see like someone's paws on potentially my bag. Mm-hmm. That's unsettling. Yeah.

Do you ever not wash your fruit? rent it? Yeah. But did you see those TikToks that were going on for a long time? Yeah. I bought these cleaning supplies for my fruit. Those have to be a scam. And all the buggy things are crawling out?

Don't, nothing. What I don't know can hurt me. Unless, obviously, it's a parasite. That would hurt. Right. But again, it's like, oh, I feel kind of sick. And then this two shall pass. Yeah.

So I don't know. Could be the cugle. But it could be a parasite. Right. I'm feeling sick now. No, no, no, I'm talking about, like, if I didn't wash my fruit. Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. That's, like, one of those things where it's like, I kind of like, if that's the case,

if there's that many bugs on all my fruit, I'm just going to stop eating fruit. I'm not going to wash it every single time in that way. Because you know who's not washing it every single time in that way? Everywhere I go out to eat. Yeah. I do, I scrub potatoes. Oh, really? I don't.

There's dirt on potatoes because they grow up underground. I feel fine about dirt. It's the bugs that are the problem. Like that's what freaks me out about fruit. Like I'm completely comfortable eating dirt. Call me crazy. You're crazy, girl. Were you a kid in elementary school that was eating that onion grass?

I would feast. What is onion grass? Maybe it's a filly thing. It's just like grass that tastes like onions. I would eat that. It was delicious. There was like a small community of us that would go out to the field. But every time you share something, you were in a cult.

Like I'm, I can't believe I'm gonna be. No, this wasn't like a class taught by my school. This was something that we on our own did. There was a small community of us that would go out into a field and graze. I guess if you put it that way, yes. Is it like green onion? Yeah, a little. I love green onion.

No, it's very, it's much more onion-y. Oh, my God. You would eat that? I'm not from the root, just the top, just the tips. My, oh my. Yeah, I mean, I would do it. I would be out there with you guys on my hands and knees on all fours grazing. I'd let out a moo or two.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, my gosh. I was cutting an onion for my chili that I made. Happy chili season. It's chili season. You guys know how excited I was about chili season. I'm overjoyed.

Does anyone want me to drop my chili recipe? Yeah, sure. It might get me a lot of... Buzz? What did I say earlier? that word I made up. Squall. It might be giving squall.

Yeah, go ahead and drop it. Okay. I'll make a TikTok. You're doing halls? Maybe I start doing recipes. Oh my God, I'm addicted to doing halls. I'm about to do one when I get home. Really?

Of what? Do you want to share? I mean, it'll already. I got a package as soon as I was walking out. It was from Cora, which is like a period brand. But they included some really cool things in the package. The thing I'm most excited about was this giant pizza thing. that's a heating pad.

So if you heat up the giant pizza, it's a heating pad for your cramps. And it's like cuddling with a huge pizza. I need to get that for my back. You can use it sometime. Thanks. Yeah, I'll bring it. I'll bring it next week.

Please. So I'll do that. I've been like so... Influentary? That and also like hyper fixatey. I've been like hyper fixating. That's not a new thing for you. No, it's not,

but I'm much more comfortable hyperfixating on like one or two things. I've been hyperfixating on four things and I'm so tired. Oh. So, so tired. Do you want me to tell them to you? Yeah, tell them to me. I'm begging.

Crocheting. Yeah. Addicted. Beyond belief. And when I say addicted, these are all things that I think in my head. Like, maybe I should take a break and I can't. So that's what I mean by my, I'm addicted. You'd become like an addictive gambler.

Do you think you've had an addictive personality? I guess. I don't know. Everything I've been addicted to so far, though, isn't bad. So it's hard. Addicted to crocheting. Criminal Minds. Yeah, that's not new.

My record player. Yeah. I just ordered a really cool setup for my record player. Massive, massive, massive, huge cabinet for my record player in four records. Well, that's just an investment on what's to come. Yeah. Yeah. What's the fourth thing? I don't know.

Crocheting. Hall. That's the fit. What is it? Halls. Cochaying, doing halls. Criminal Minds. Oh my God.

song Angel Baby by Trois Yvonne. That is the most... Oh, Connor, I heard it for the first time a few days ago. It's very rare that I hear a song and on the first listen, I say, classic. Oh my God. Oh, we'll listen to it in Bone. It is. It's one of those songs that, and I'm sure this doesn't happen to do. In the bonus, I should say. Yeah, yeah. I don't think this will, this happens to you, but maybe who the hell am I to say? maybe it does. The best songs create a delusional reality

in my head. So it's like they kind of inspire like a story that's kind of like a montage in my head of like an alternate life. Like a mirage. Like a head mirage. Yeah.

Interesting. So that's why I love... I'll know what you mean when I hear it. I can't even contribute because I've never heard it. You know how you've said this before how like you'll listen to a song that makes you nostalgic,

but like for what? This is kind of like nostalgia, but like a future situation. Like fantasy. Looking forward to something? It just inspires a fantasy. Spires. Yeah. And I don't know.

Oh, I'm intrigued. Yeah. It is the, I'm addicted to Troy Savon, if you don't mind me saying. No, it's totally fine. Yeah. It took me way too long. He's a massive celebrity that is pretty accessible. He's at USC Equinox.

Yeah. But I've seen him pre-angel baby. I don't know what's going to happen if I see him post. Oh, no. I hate when that. We should have choice of on on the pod. I don't think he would want to come, no offense. Yes, he would.

He would love to come. Okay, you could ask him. I'll ask him, I'll ask him. I think he's friends with Grace Kay, who's on my show on Thursday. Okay. So that would be good. You know what we talked about? What?

This week. Oh, something I'm hyperfixated on it right now. What? And then we'll move on to what we talked about. It was our first note in our notes this week. Help me. I'm hyperfixated on Zillow. I'm addicted to this young man.

name Zillow. I'm zillowing in the shower. I'm zillowing pre-bed. I'm zillowing first thing I wake up in the morning. Can I be completely honest? I can't figure out how to work the app. It is a terrible user interface. There's nothing left for us.

They've cornered the market. And it's a monopoly. Can't change my location no matter what I do. You just press the location button. Can't do it. Let me see you're fine. It's more than that. It runs deeper than that.

Well, I can't get off. I need every, every, every, there's no even new. homes on the market in a 10 mile radius of me. I've seen every single property. It's just like whenever I go to, no, I know. I know theoretically in a perfect world what I would do, but it's just not the same in practice. Well, you just click on anything that's like once I click that. But I don't want those.

Wait, let me see that house. That's pretty. That's here. Oh. But you could type in your address and say. Yeah, no, I know. Like, I know what to do. It just doesn't, it just doesn't work.

I was telling a. It doesn't respond to me. like a response to you. I went and toured, okay, I went and toured a house last week and I was just like, ah, like at the end of the tour, by the way, after half an hour at 8 o'clock in the morning, I go, oh, my dog, we don't do dogs. Like, this is a house that's a standalone house. There's no other tenants and it's hardwood. It's either hardwood or concrete floors, whatever. It was like, it was like, oh, we just haven't had a good experience with dogs in this neighborhood. I go, I live in this neighborhood. I live two blocks that way. I don't know. So,

She goes, oh, yeah, Zillow's. I was like, I've been having trouble with Zillow. She goes, well, Zillow's the best. I go, it doesn't work. She goes, well, that's what everyone uses. That's all we use. I go, it sucks. I was, like, in a fight with this woman, I think,

because she disgraced my neighborhood with via dog. Right. Even though your dog was just attacked via dog. Facts. I don't know why I think of Max is, like, not a dog of, I'm a classist in terms of dogs. I'm like, he's, like, more of a man than that dog. That dog's a beast.

He's, like, more of a man. Yeah. Like he was attacked by a dog, like a child would be attacked by a dog. Yeah, I get that. It wasn't beast on beast. Yeah, no, I understand what you're saying. It was. I understand what you're saying.

Yeah. It was different for that reason. But she was like, no, Zillow is the best. I'm like, well, then someone needs to step in. Apartments.com sucks. Redfin. com sucks. All we have is Zillow.

You could always try Facebook Marketplace. That's something that I don't get out of work. Me neither. but it's an option. I'm going to continue to use Zillow. That's fair. And Zill is also kind of fun. Today, I think I post on my story.

Second and third picture on this house that I was touring were just pictures of different animals in the yard. One was a bird in the tree and the other one was a squirrel on the fence. And I was like, there are no, these people get to do whatever they want because there's zero competition. I'm like, I want to see the bedroom that I would sleep in.

They go, there's a lazy squirrel relaxing on the fence. Yeah. we'll get back to you on the foyer. Yeah. Well, like I say, I want you to come see for yourself. Yeah. I don't think they do that. But also, why would anyone even go to see it if there's just a picture of a squirrel?

You know, I clicked on this one, and I clicked on street view, and it was inside of a jamba juice. Like, I was like, this is not the house that I clicked on. This is a jamba juice. And I looked at the street. There's not a jamba juice on the street. Honestly, the best way to find a house is to drive or walk around the neighborhood you want and just look for a for sale sign or for rent.

Hey, looking at the street. for an apartment is the exact same adult feeling as when you used to go to Old Navy with your mom and she made you try on several pairs of pants. You do one and you're like, I am cashed. I'm about to start crying and hit my head against the wall. And then once you get into that mood, you're like something is going to happen like you're going to stub your toe or your headphones are going to rip out of your ear on a doorknob or something like it caught and you're going to just like that's it. Oh my God. When you're in a mood like that and God, forbid you bump against the door, say goodbye to that door, shred it with my nails. I was in one of

those moods one time. My dad had me using the leaf blower on the driveway, and I know why I was like, I did not want to do it. And I was like, fine, I'm going to do it. And I'm trying to start it. I'm doing this over and over and over again. It's not starting. I'm like, it's not a gas. And I go in the gas tank is this big. It's the size of my fist. And I dump the gas in so fast that it fills up, it shoots into my eyes. And I took the leaf floor, and I threw it again. It's the wall. And it made such a huge hole and my dad came out and saw it

and I'm like in tears because there's petrol in my eye and the leaf blower is broken on the ground and there's a huge hole in the wall. Like just blow the ground. That's a universal human experience is getting completely fed up with inanimate objects.

Yes. Yeah. No, when my headphones would rip out of my ears on something when I was already in a bad mood. Horrible. And you're just like, horrible. I'm going to punch Steve Jobs.

I'm going to punch Steve Jobs. I mean, the worst for me is when you're in a bad mood and then you like bump your head or like anything on a surface that's uncomfortable like game over i will rip a cabinet from its hinges if i belt my head on it in that kind of state i've been having that but with like other people recently which is just like such a bad thing it always happens around the holidays does it yes because every single december i'm like i would be fine if i never saw anyone again and then by the time i come back i'm like oh i miss you guys But I didn't feel that way when I left.

Oh. She got chills. Because like three people have called me and I'm on Do Not Disturb and I'm getting text, which means they clicked Notify Anyway. Guess who's not getting a response? That feature shouldn't be allowed. If I'm putting on Do Not Disturb, I don't want you to contact me. If someone had Max and I got a message from that person and they were able to click

Notify Anyway, I'd be like, I'm going to check this. Yeah, then you should be able to like, before you go and Do Not Disturb, you should be able to put into settings. Who? Only these people can notify me anyway. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. What we talked about last week, by the way, was things that they should just give up on making healthy.

We talked about that, me and you? Yeah. Catch up. You said catch up. We didn't have this conversation. Some things are not meant to be healthy. Catch up. I'll type in our text.

I'll type in our text. We did not ever talk about that. You must have been talking to someone else. what's unhealthy about ketchup sugar yeah oh who did i talk about that with not me huh okay things that shouldn't be made healthy cheese i'm feeling like these things aren't like super bad for you though i think that i might have dreamt that conversation because it doesn't even make sense that i'm saying it now are you talking about like making a cheese non-dairy yeah yeah they shouldn't do that unless you like really need it but it doesn't then don't call it cheese

We can cut this whole part because I think this might be the stupidest thing I've ever said. Cheese, peanut butter and ketchup. How was I that fired up on peanut butter or ketchup? Peanut butter honestly feels healthy to me. But I can gaslight myself into thinking anything's healthy. There's so much sugar in peanut butter. But what if there's not? Look at the serving size of peanut butter.

It's one tablespoon. Which is that big. I'm eating it in clumps like that. Mounds. Oh, you're going mound mode? Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm splitting my lip on a spoon full of peanut butter person.

That's crazy. I know. Unless it's in a Reese's peanut butter cup. But I hate fake Reese's peanut butter cups. We're getting in, okay, this is a good one. What? I'm trying to think of what we should talk about. That's going to fire us up for the last thing that we talk about.

Fake Reese's? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I hate. What do you mean fake Reese's? Like those dark chocolate cups with peanut. It's not the same. Recy's peanut butter is something.

something that cannot be replicated even in a jar of Reese's peanut butter. Facts. Yeah. It's specific to the way that it's shaped, the way that it's enfolded in the chocolate. There's something better, though, than the Reese's peanut butter cup. What? The random misshapen holiday Reese's pieces. No, I'm thinking of the tree.

The ones are supposed to be trees. No, the tree. And they're just randomly an oval. Like, because they just gave up on making them tree shaped because they know that they're better. Aren't those Halloween pumpkins ones? I didn't even know there was a hell of the Easter egg. I might be talking about the Easter egg. But the tree is just like a random shape.

Like they gave up on making them look like trees like very quickly. Trees can look like anything. Trees are like mirages. Trees are like mirages and what was the other thing? Shaws. Shalls. Yeah. Shals, trees and mirages are whatever you choose to make them.

Awesome. We should keep these lists running. Yeah. Oh. Are you okay? Oh my heart almost just gave out. That's scary. Oh, it's back to normal.

Oh my God. That's scary, Connor. I'm okay now. Okay. Yeah. Can we do one more pop culture before we wrap? Totally. What do you want to talk about?

Did we have anything else in our pop culture docket or no? Oh. You want to talk about it? Yeah. This is, again, another thing that I don't know much about. Sure. Something I kind of just scroll. I will, I will, every time I see, unfortunately, Megan Fox and MGK, I will scroll past.

I will as well. So what did you see? I saw a headline that said that MGK's anxiety finally won and he's done being in public. I hate being in public. He's not done being in public, but he hates it. Okay. Getting in line behind me. Yeah.

Awesome. Did you have anything else you wanted to say about it? Well, soon, I guess. But you weren't wanting him to come back out of home. No, I was kind of relieved that he's taking a break from not having anxiety. This is an example of like when my therapist tells me that like your anxiety is telling you something. Like his anxiety was telling him something and it was that he should take a step back for just a quick petite moment. And I think that's fair.

That is fair. Yeah, your anxiety sometimes tells you something. My anxiety told me that this weekend. Would you? I didn't go outside. Yeah. Sometimes it's really hard to figure out when to listen to your anxiety and when it's actually not. real. I wish it would have told me that before I took Max outside. There needs to be some sort of

alarm system in your body, like an attachment to your phone or something where you can like put your blood pressure. No, not blood pressure. What is that? Heart rate. I think that is, that kind of gets through your heart rate and kind of analyzes your heart rate to tell you if your anxiety is justified or all in your heart. Well, you just reminded me that anxiety has anything at all to do with your heart rate. I thought it was totally in my brain. It's your whole body. I've never thought about that And yes Well I think that MGK

I think MGK I hope he takes Are you feeling like we were able to get out of a sentence this episode Or not really? I think so yeah I was feeling like my heat stroke was kind of getting in the way No I think it was good Okay

I was just going to say about MGK What about it? You're trying to be delicate with your words Yeah The good thing about MGK though, I think you can be pretty free with your words because I don't know how many MGQ Oh my God, it's like the fifth time. MGQ. I don't know how many like fierce MGK stands are listening to the pod.

I think there must be a lot for him to. I got to stop talking. Everything I say I'm stopping myself before I continue, which is a new thing for me because guess what my anxiety is getting in the way of me talking about. MGK's anxiety getting in the way. Okay. So I guess we'll leave it there. Okay. So in some, his anxiety is getting in the way?

In some. Yes. Thank you guys for listening to PNC, MAP, MGK. Good luck on your show. Take a Kalanapan. Let us know how it goes. Maybe you could update us on close friends. Yeah, I will.

And I'm sure some listeners will be there, which is exciting. I think there are some listeners that are going to be at the Thursday show because they sold out all the tickets before I could tell my friends about it, or even post about it once. That's exciting. It is exciting as well as, who are you people? You know? Is it just one show?

They added the second show because the same night. Someone found, I didn't even have the link access when it sold out. My team was like, your shawl sold out. Your shawl. Shaw. Your shawl sold out on crochet.com. They were like, your show sold out, so we have to add a second one. I was like, that's great.

What do you mean? Like, not, I was thinking not this show. It was this show, this damn show. Are you doing two in the same night? Nope, I'm doing one Thursday, one Friday, and Friday I'm doing two in the same night because I have a show with the comics to watch that I post on my Instagram

at the same venue as my show that I'm hosting earlier in the night. So if it goes horribly, I don't get to go get drunk immediately. I have to stay there and do another set. Won't you be tired? Yes. That's where my head goes. I'll be exhausted.

But luckily, it's like nothing up until those things at night. Okay. And this is where I'm going to really have to exercise the like, yes, I'm in town. No, I can't go get coffee with you. And that's more than fair, I think. Boundaries are important. Got a prep. Guess what?

My anxiety is getting in the way. I hate being in public. That's my statement for next week. Good. besides on the four shows I have to do. Yeah. Guess what my first show is on Wednesday? What?

It's at Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square. Oh, that's funny. Woo! You should do one at the M&M store. I'm just, I'm going to do a pop-up at the, at the Lego store in Times Square. You should open for Mary Louie Roll Along. Yes. I don't think they do that.

They might if I ask. Yeah. Why don't you just call Taylor up? Who's Taylor Swift What does she have to do with Merely You Roll Along I don't even know what that is God you do not listen to a word I say

Merely we roll along Jonathan's show Who's that Oh Jonathan We have to we have to end it We have to end it Thank you guys Thanks guys

Jonathan Greg Goopler What's his name? What's his name? I think that they all have G-Lass name name. Yeah, Jonathan Groff. Whoa. That's cool.

Oh my Groff. Okay, bye guys. That was back when I had a Jonathan Groff Tumblr. It was Oh My Groff? No, but one of my Jonathan and friends was Jonathan Omogoff.tot.tot.com. That's very cool. Okay. All right.

Bye, guys. This week on Close Friends. Is Friends considered a comedy? Oh, my God. I'm starting to sweat. Why do I have Catholic guilt about the sun setting? I don't know, Connor. I don't have that.

And then he responded. I want to die second to have old people sex with other widows. And then I've been just like spiraling because it's like either you're going to live to see all your favorite celebrities die or you'll just die first. So neither are good. Sign up on TMG Studios.com.com.