Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - Kim Kardashian’s Joker Era

Episode Date: May 12, 2022

THE NEW WEBSITE: https://tmgstudios.tv  This week Brooke and Connor recap their drastically different weekends, Brooke’s beef with Lili Reinhart, and the craziest story they’ve read on the internet.  Highlights Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/BrookeAndConnorHighlights  Email us at [e-mail] !! If you listen on Apple Podcasts, go to: https://apple.co/bandc That’s https://BABBEL.com/Bandc for up to 60% off your subscription To find a retailer who delivers right to your door head to https://budlight.com/NEXT   Use code BANDC for $20 off your first SeatGeek order. https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/BANDC  B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Huh. You know what they say all the time? They've always said this. been around for so long. They say the worst day of square dancing is better than the best day at work. Yes, they have always said that. Put that on a T-J. Max placard in Houston, Texas, and my mom will pick it up on her way out. And I'll Venmo her for sure.

Yeah, and we'll send you one. Yep. I may have to stop straight up to pee. Okay, I'm just downing this water like it's my job We are right at 9 a.m. Don't address that. We are right at 9 a.m., which means I got to drink a little water really quickly.

I'm going to get ahead of it, so I don't have to stop you in the way. Oh, my God, you're going to have so badly. I feel like the human body. Like, I understand we need water, but, oh, I just drank it until 11am. I bought myself some time. You're perfect. I drink on a daily average. My daily average is 9 to 11.

Oh, no way. Yeah, I think that could be a reason for a lot of what I complain about constantly. Water is a, like, heal all. I'm telling you, anything that's wrong with you, water, sleep, sunlight. I'm not like a big subscriber to the notion that exercise helps anything at all besides. I know. I used to subscribe to that, but I do think, like, scientifically. Like, shut the, shut.

I know. I know. Trust me. It's hard for me to even admit it and say it. No, I know. It's so painful, but I do think that exercise may be. It's not so much exercise, I think, as movement and getting out and about and loosening your limbs and just more of like the mind and body connection. I know, but sometimes it's like, okay, this is supposed to give me some dopamine, right?

Where is it? Right. Endorphins or whatever? Right. Get me them. Right. I went on the run. Yeah.

I don't care about my body. Do you not feel good when you're done your run? I feel good when I'm running. At the beginning. Oh, that I've never experienced. Yeah, because I feel like a genius right at the beginning of the run. And then by the end, I'm like, what? Get me out of this, like, hellscape.

I don't think I've ever felt good mid-workout. And I also don't think I've ever had the endorphin rush after. I think it's mostly just like a few hours later. I'm like, I'm glad. I think the endorphin rush is made up lie. I think what people are feeling is feeling like they are hot for a second after you workout. Do you know I did cross country in high school? I did too, not in high school, junior high.

For a week. And then I was so, I wrote my college essay about this. It was like truly, some people are not made to run. Yeah. Especially, and I think short people can run. But if you have, my legs are the shortest part of my body too. So my legs are just not made to keep up with the team or myself. So I just couldn't do it.

And I was so, and I didn't want to quit. So I promoted myself. to the manager of the cross-country team. And then I wrote my college essay about me not being a quitter. Rather, I'm able to find unique roles for myself and manage the team and take us to the finals. I always say, I've always said this. There's, you know, people say quit while you're ahead. I think there's a lot of value in quitting while you're behind.

I think that that was in a show. Nope, it was in a TikTok I made. Oh. In a different life. Wow. You tweeted that recently and I thought he took that from someone. Nope, I took it for myself. Yep.

Everyone always thinks when I take bits of my TikToks and I think you're going to perform on Twitter. Wow. And do them. They're like, I've seen this before. That's pretty cool that I was like, that is something. Because it was really well written when it, what was it from? It was from, I sent an email. Oh.

Was that like your early days of trying to find a job in question? Yes. I sent like, oh, excuse me for the delay. And for some reason it obviously. it auto corrected to exquease me for the delay. Right. Squeeze me. I'm just going to slide.

And the video was like, oh, I'm like done. I'm done for the, like, I'm quitting while I'm behind. Like, like, I was spending the rest of my day, I build a bear. Excuse me. Like, what it? That was just a weird thing. Right. But back to exercise.

I have to tell you something that happened to me this morning. I haven't told anyone yet. This is super weird. Okay. But I feel like I need to tell a backstory first. I'm you have my undivided attention and I'm just going to get right into it I'm feeling

also hello and welcome back to Brooke and Connor make a podcast we're on episode what 16 I think 16 yeah thank you so much for listening sometimes I never realized when we've started recording I didn't realize we started recording but I feel like we should thank you guys for coming back

I've been seeing a lot of people who've been coming up to me saying oh like love your podcast like and don't have no idea about any other aspects of, you know, it's pretty cool. I like that, yeah. Yeah. I was approached at Target yesterday and that happened. But, okay, so this episode, I'm getting the feeling that it's going to be like very chaotic. I do think, yeah, I have a feeling about a lot of different topics from a lot of different it's all over the place, but it's a good way, in a good way. And I'm looking at this first

bullet point and I think that it is, I'm just going to dive right in. Okay. Is this the thing that happened to you this morning or the other thing that happened to you? It's fully related to the thing that happened to me this morning. Um, okay. So last week, I was at my house and the layout of my house is basically I live on a property that has three bungalows on the lot and they're flipped and they're brand new, but it was obviously like an old house that, um, my landlord purchased and flipped and like made it look really like cool like California bungalow style, all of these. things. I live in a studio by myself and or not, I live in a one bedroom by myself. And, uh, behind me, there was this kind of like old on my property. There's kind of this old decrepit shed,

shed-esque house. And I'll ask my landlord, I'm like, so what are we doing about the shed in the back? Like, what's the deal with the, the shed? Because it is fugly, that shed back there. And it looks haunted. Right. And he goes, I can confirm. I've seen the shed. Yep. It doesn't look like it even can store. Objects, let alone. Let alone a human, right. It looks like as if, it looks like if hoarders was happening, it looks like a hoarder home.

I'll just say it. So, so whatever asked me, landlord, he's like, oh, that's the previous owner of the property that you live on now. I bought the house and property from him on the contingency that he could stay in his inhabitable shack house and it's very much up the movie up

from Disney Pixar in what way the old man didn't want to give up the house that he lives in even though like the rest of the neighborhood's like flipping yeah

and I forgot about that key piece of the film right so that is yeah the main plot line but so anyways so months go by I've seen I saw this guy yeah so there's your visual

except it doesn't look that inviting it looks very much like death and so I was like you know I saw this guy twice and he how do I describe this the first time I'll just say it like this

first time I saw him I audibly gasped and I felt bad I was like like coming down and I was like oh it's just my you know I'd never seen him he's like a legit hermit and then months go by I saw him maybe twice in six months since I moved to my apartment and then the other day last week right after we recorded the podcast I met home

him and I go down to do my laundry and he had he was so so so old he is so old he was so old and basically at like 7.30 in the morning I'm doing my laundry and I see him and he has like nurses over because they would come check on him and he I see his like legs on the ground I don't think anything after I'm like oh maybe he's diabetic and they're his legs on the ground I see like the end of his legs and I'm just like I'm like minding my own business I don't want to he's laying down yeah and his nurses and his nurses are he's laying down yeah and his nurses. are there? Yeah. Okay. And so a couple whatever, like an hour goes by, I'm doing my laundry, I'm doing another lot of walk out and there's like six cops and I'm like, oh, this is not looking too good. And then I go upstairs

my friends come over and they go, like the cops just stopped us and asked if we like heard anything last night and I was like, oh weird. I walked back out and then they asked me, did I hear anything? And I was like no. Like what they're doing construction on my property? Like I hear stuff all the They started at 6 a.m.

I looked it up. They legally can't start until 8 a.m. If you want to have that conversation, they're like, no, do you hear a gunshot? And I was like, a gunshot. And they were like, shh. I was like, I'm sorry, a gunshot. What the fuck? Like, well, I guess, like, something happened back there.

And my neighbor was dead, and he died on my property. Oh. And they didn't even. So this is now 4.30 p.m. on Cinco de Mayo. And they didn't take his body out in, I saw him for the first time on the ground at 7.30 in the morning. How did he get to the ground? That's nine hours that he's just sitting around, or laying around.

I don't know. So I don't have any information yet. I'll keep everybody updated. God forbid. I hope it wasn't, you know. That's so sad. I know. But so then I'm getting ready because I had dinner on Thursday at six.

And I'm looking out and they left the body bag in front of my. stairs. I come down stairs and like I have there's nowhere for me to go. I have to and they left it there for 35 minutes and it's like what are you supposed to do and I kept checking out like you couldn't squeeze by it I don't want to squeeze by the body right right right that's fair like a body bag is something that I'm I should be allowed to have some distance from until right absolutely necessary they left him out in the body bag in front of my stairs and I was kind of putting my ear out like does anyone you guys You guys still there? Like, what's going on?

Like, do it? So I call my mom, and my mom's like, is it on wheels? Move the body. I'm like, Mom, I don't want to move the body bag. I don't want to touch the body bag. Yeah, completely fair. I shouldn't have to touch the body bag. Okay, so fast forward.

They roll them out. That's that, I guess. And then I haven't heard a word of closure, and it's been a week now. Wow. Yeah. So then I go on my run this morning, and I come home, and I go inside. And I go get a coffee. after my rind, come back, I go inside.

And there's a bird in my house. A bird. Right. My door was shut. How did this bird get in my house? I didn't think about it until... You're thinking it's his spirit? What am I supposed to think?

Right. I'm not even to the weird part of the bird yet. That's where my mind would go immediately. Thank you. Thank God. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Thank you.

Sure. It's not even to the weird part yet, Brooke. And I have a video that I have to show you, and I'll put it up on the screen too. From I walk in. Oh, I sent it to you to you guys. You did, but I didn't see anything. Birds in my bathroom.

Right. Because I walked in the living room, I see the bird in my kitchen. And the door to the, my room was shut. Right. I'm trying to get, so I'm like, there's one way you could go. It probably went into my shower, my bathroom. Right. And he's probably like on the ground behind my shower curtain or something.

Like, probably scared. Okay. And so I go and I'm trying to like kind of scare it out. because there's only one accent. You got to go, it's not a big apartment. Right. Trying to get it out. Here's the next video.

Thinking I was, thinking it was going to fly out and hit me in the face. Nothing. No. Nothing in my shower. And then I kind of get freaked out because I'm like, oh, if it's not there. Are you sure you saw a bird? Like, was I, yeah, like, I'm not, unless I'm having, like, residual effects of something I did in college. Right.

I can't imagine what else it would be. And so now I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin Until I feel like I'm not alone Right And I'm thinking You know if a predator can get Well I guess it was a finch It's not a predator

It's not like a snake got in it It was small bird You know if that can get in And where did it go? Right I checked I scoured the place All the windows were closed When I mean I have screens on all my windows

Right I don't know To get in To get in is one thing. To get out. You're going to find a dead bird in a few weeks. Just like, I can't. Do you believe in ghosts?

I do now. Sorry. That's unsettling. It's unsettling. It's weird. And then, like, I took shower and I was like, I kind of like, don't want to be naked in my house. Right. Should the birds see?

Should the man see? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So that's. But don't you think he would want to go back to his home and not yours? Or I guess that was all of his property. You know what else is weird? I mean, that was his prop.

Maybe he's reclaiming. Right. The only time I saw old man was when he would go out every morning and put bird seat out on his front porch. You remember seeing the bird seat on his front porch? Don't you have a bird feeder as well? Got rid of it.

I got rid of it and I'll tell you why. The birds, I couldn't hear myself think. I gave them an inch. They took a mile. I was not providing them with a chat room. I was not providing with them. them with a space to hang out. It is grab and go a situation.

I'm not running a brothel. Right, right. You know, so go, and they took advantage of me, and I said, okay. So maybe this one was provoked. Was pissed. You know, we could, we could, we could, what if. We could talk about this all day. We could what if this thing to death?

I just want to say spirits take many forms. Ghouls are coming and going in and out of my home at this point. Uh-huh. I'm wondering what leeway do I have with my landlord to try to explain this to him? am I a prime subject in this case now? Because this man was a hermit. And I'm the only person that probably saw him for six months. And I only saw him a couple times.

But them asking me, like, did you hear anything? Did you hear a gunshot? I didn't hear a gunshot, but I did wake up that night for no reason. And I wasn't drinking my water yet. So I didn't wake up to pee. I will say the energy this past week has been awesome. Guess what? Mercury's in retrograde. It's always in retrograde. Of fucking course it is.

It's always in retrograde. I don't know when it's ever in normal grade. Normal mode? Put that shit back in normal mode. I can't believe we even talk about subscribing to a concept. Get the less I know the better. I was so just like not. I just had a bad, bad week. But there's no other way to describe it. Like anxious, depressed. I don't know. Oh yeah. You tell me that. Well, I just like don't. There are times where it's like, I don't know if I'm truly sick or just, or depressed. Yeah. There's no, there's truly no difference.

It's tough when there's not a cause. Right. That you can be like, oh, I'm depressed because I did something really dumb or like, oh, because career wise, what the fuck is going? Right. What was going on with my career. Right. Not being able to get out of bed for no discernible reason.

It's just like frustrating. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's been my, my misery. Yeah. week but I'm fine now oh yeah just kind of like I'm gonna take speaking of mood I'm gonna do some molly no it's my vitamin I have it I don't think I believe in vitamins um that's justified because I send all my vitamins to my doctor friends and they say that is all just excessive like your body produces the normal amount you can have deficiencies but my blood test came back absolutely okay right I'm sure so now I'm taking lion's mane what lines mane is basically for memory because you know I tell you this every time I park my car I genuinely like if I don't drop a pin it's gone like I don't

think that's abnormal it's for neurology like neurology happening in my okay so I'm just gonna take this lion's mane I'm a big mushroom guy like I love I love like the effects of not psychedelic mushrooms but like lions main I can get on board with the vitamins that are like put putting extra things in your body like your body doesn't already produce like mushrooms etc but like taking more vitamin D vitamin C stuff that your body already produces you'll be it right out you get right out your body doesn't yeah it doesn't store it or something for a rainy day I don't yeah I'm anti I'm anti I'm anti-vitamin yeah yeah girl winter is so last season and now springs got you looking at pictures of tank tank tops with hungry eyes your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs you're thirsty for the sun on your

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Do you do anything for Singe-Demeyer or were you depressed? I was depressed. Okay. Thanks for asking. I was just checking in on that. Yeah. Okay. Did you? Yeah.

Okay. What'd you do? I went to this restaurant And that's really it So I'm just gonna not even talk about it Because it wasn't even really I just love any holiday Where it's like

And like One of my friends is from Mexico And I was like this We genuinely do not celebrate Cinco de Mao. This is like a white people I think it is Yeah and I didn't know that

But I have so much fun And You know it's really funny? What is even like what's it supposed to celebrate? I don't know And I'm not even gonna say what I thought it was because I was so dead wrong that it's actually probably offensive. Oh, okay. Yeah. For the best. Yeah.

Um, and I didn't get the correct answer. I was just told that I was not correct. And this belief that I had for the longest time is not true. Okay. But you know what I was thinking the other day? Or actually yesterday. Like, I had so much fun on and singing in my own because it's like, oh, like, I'm going to go have like a couple margaritas. I never drink margaritas. And it's like fun. And we dressed up and I wore like a, like a colored shirt and we dance and we listened to like fun music and they had a mariachi band at this restaurant in Venice and I had so much fun I was like this is really chuggy but it is so fun I'm thinking trend alert hot trend alert tune in I think I think chuggy is the anti chugug movement will do a full 180 in the next coming months I agree I've always said if more I'm I'm thinking

about chuggy in the terms of like things that are basic yeah people don't like basic things. People like basic things for a reason. Yeah. Because they're good. They're good. Yeah. If everybody likes something that's probably telling you this thing is good. So not liking something because everyone likes it is in itself a basic act. And you know what I'm going to say? And I feel that way about Chugi. Yeah. No. And I get you and I hear you. I see you. I hear you and I also stand with you. I know. And that term, I'm like out of breath today. I'm like really just like, I get all like all this goddamn water I'm drinking. Yeah, probably.

So, oh, I always say that about country music because country music and you're a new fan. Do you see my shirt? Yeah, I'd rather be square dances. So true. I saw it in the window at some store on Abbott Kinney and March Royden and I said, I have to have this name your price. and they said $40, I said, let me pay $600. 50 or no deal. 50 or I walk out of here.

I just love it. And then I also, I had never met anyone from the South in my life before I moved to L.A. That's fun. Grew up in Philly, went to school in Boston, never met anyone from Texas, never met anyone from New Orleans. Every single one of my friends here, Texas, New Orleans, Alabama. So now I have cowgirl boots, not pictured here today, and my square dancing shirt. And I love country music now. Yeah, well, and that's funny because like country music when I lived in Texas,

like there was a part when Little Wayne was my favorite artist. Little Wayne. That I was like, I hate country music. It makes me sick to my stomach. But I was hiding a part of myself. 100%. That now I'm happy to lean into and I'm proud of, you know, and that is that I love country music. And it's basically always on in the car.

And I listen to the radio because, you know, that's how I find my new songs because you listen to the same ones over and over again. Right. But the thing is, when people don't like country music, I'm like, they're doing it because you're lying. Yeah. You're, and it's okay. I also, like, it's cool to be a hater.

Like, I lean into being a hater on a bunch of stuff, but, like, I'm able to acknowledge, like, I'm probably wrong, but I'm being a hater, and that's what makes me justified in my feelings towards this. It's okay. If you're scared today to admit that you kind of fucks with country, I listen I'm not going to take a bullet for Toby Keith but it's okay to admit that

that you like this music because it's about your dog it's about the love of your life when you were 16 it's about having a beer on a Friday what do you what do you hate about that?

I also think there are so many songs that our country that no one realizes our country that's what happened to me I was listening to in the car on the way here Um, uh, that baby when you touch me. Yeah.

Yeah, that's country. Yeah, that's country. That's like OG's country. Who knew? Yeah. Not me. I remember that from like those albums that would come out and it'd be like two in the morning and it'd be like, call now to get country's biggest hits. Yeah, I get full body chills from those.

From baby when you told me. Yeah. Exactly. Those are so good. Yeah. So good. And I also think like when people start hating basic things, it gets to the point where everybody hates them and then they become cool again because everyone hates them.

So it's cool to like them. And I think that happened with Taylor Swift. Everyone was hating Taylor Swift for so long that the people that started liking her again, it became cool again. And I think that's what's happening in the country now. Sure. Sure. Yeah. You know what they say?

Huh. You know what they say all the time. They've always said this. It's been around for so long. They say the worst day of square dancing is better than the best day at work. Yes, they have always said that. Put that on a T-J. Max placard in Houston, Texas, and my mom will pick it up on her way out. And I'll then move her forward.

Yeah, and we'll send you one. Okay, well, that, I don't know how we got there. I also wanted to say, so I know I said last week that I may have been getting a dog. Right. I didn't get the dog. Right. But, okay, so I didn't get the dog because, and I really wanted the dog. I was basically on my way to go pick up this dog.

It was a long-haired docks and cute as a button. It is too cute. And I was like, all right, I'm going to get this dog. I'm going to be a dog guy. I just got my gallon water jug. I'm drinking so much water. Like, maybe this is a time in my life that's going to be very transformative for me. it's like giving birth kind of

well yeah yeah that's the only thing I can compare it to um oh so they call me and they're like oh also the dog's diabetic so you're gonna have to not only give it insulin shots twice a day which like I don't do well with needles let alone stabbing a doxin yeah I would not be able to unfortunately yeah so I was like all right listen

first of all I drink too much I don't I can't promise this dog the life it deserves because it is cute as a button So I was like, I can't. Like, I don't know. My schedule's like very sporadic. I can't be there like I need to. Also, I can't push his dog into somebody else.

I know. So my other friend who we've kind of agreed, like, if we get a dog, we'll kind of co-parent a little bit. She, uh, okay. I'm just going to go right into my weekend if that's okay. And I know we should have started this a lot earlier. That's fine. So, so I saw John Mullaney on Saturday. And I saw him.

a week before but I'm so jealous that you got to see him at the Hollywood Bowl Well it was not planned at all Like I figured I wasn't gonna be able to see him And then James Of Caucasian James LLC Twitter

Incorporated He texted me He was like hey do you want to go to this thing on Saturday And I was like yeah you know what I can I can I can there in Saturday So And are you a John Mulaney fan? I am yeah

I am yeah I am yeah I So we go to the Hollywood Bowl Hollywood Bowl If you don't know is just like a gigantic venue like a like a stadium but it's a bowl basically sure and uh like last person i saw there was elanis morissette so like huge people go there right and i was kind of like that's why i saw

haim i remember oh yeah yeah all pronouncing wrong again is it hyam like i said no it's not hym it's higham like lehahim no i think you did that because i was like i thought i did right too but everyone was coming from my throat. Oh. They're going to do that. They're going to do that no matter what. So I go there and I'm like, we're so, we're pretty far back, but like we're dead center. So it was kind of cool.

They put your phone in like a locked, I hate those things. A locked like neoprene sleeve. And I'll put a picture of it up on the screen. But these neoprene sleeves were created by Dave Chappelle. It's his company. Really? To make him more money at all the other shows. Oh my God.

Wow. Yeah. I've been to John Malaney three times, and those are the only three times in my life I've had to use that phone sleeve. Guess who's really good friends? John and Dave Chappelle. Yeah. That checks out. So obviously there's so many people at, and they're all putting their phone in these neoprene sleeves.

So obviously these venues have to. What does neoprene mean? So, you know, have you ever worn a wetsuit? No, and I never. will just due to the way it would look. Okay, so then there's no way to really... I can understand the way a wetsu... Yeah.

I can understand. So they have that and then they have like this, like industrial style weaved fabric around the neoprene. Neoprene, you can basically like, if you're surfing or something and you hit a coral, like it won't, for the most, it shouldn't like cut through. Right. You know, it's really sharp. because it's tough stuff.

So I was getting so much anxiety sitting on a Saturday night at 10.30 p.m. and we have not even seen the likes of John Mullaney yet. It's because the parking is so insane that they wait like two, they give a two hour buffer for everyone to kind of get there. So we had the openers and they were good, but I came for John Mullaney. I could have come at 10. Right. I was like, this is now been, it's going to be like a five and a half hour thing.

And you don't have your phone. So what are you supposed to do with your hands and your mind? I'll tell you what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to chew through this neoprene sleeve and get my phone out of this lockbox. And that is precisely what I did with my K-9 teeth. That is so terrifying. Were you able to get it out? Yeah.

The bag was soaking wet with my spit and I ripped through and it was the most glorious moment. And I pulled my phone out. That is like a hunger. games. Pull my phone out after after four hours. Not a single notification. Oh.

I said, oh, my phone must be broken. Yeah. It wasn't. Everyone was just having fun. So we leave there. Did you give them that sleeve back? I tossed it into the bucket that they can reuse it. But if anything, I'm a product tester

and I just showed you guys that like, you know how they send people to the airport and try to get through TSA with like bomb stuff, like big bomb stuff? That was me for that neonaprene sleeve. Make them stronger. Right. Don't test me. that. Right. You also have particularly sharp canines. Uh-huh. Just from looking at you. And you know what? I got these shaved down because I kept biting my tongue. So this is post-shade. Yeah. You know what's interesting about teeth? Huh. Do my teeth look different to you? Then what? Then they did last week or anytime you've ever known me? Uh, they look white? No. Basically, I didn't realize you basically don't really ever need braces if there's a space in your tooth. If you have a space in your tooth that you don't like, you can just go to the

dentist and ask them to just put in more tooth so there's no space. So I had spaces here and here and she was just like, I'll close them for you. Do you see? No, but. And now I have no spaces in my teeth. Do you see when I go like this? Yeah. Yeah.

That's not what teeth should look like. They're not aligned by any means. You couldn't put more tooth behind my tooth. No, I'm saying in here. Never bent my neck like that. When there is a space. Oh, well, people get braces because they're not actually. I know, but I'm just saying if you guys have spaces in your teeth, I'm

I thought I went to the embezzeline doctor. Right? I would, some would even call that an orthodontist. I went to the orthodontist and I was like, I don't like these spaces. And then she was like, just go to the dentist and they'll bond it for like a hundred bucks. Sure. And now I have no spaces in my teeth. Although they kind of look weird.

But you don't notice any difference. Then from last week? Yeah. Oh, you put more shit into your teeth last week? No. Monday. No. Oh, my God.

Where did you put it? And it takes 20 minutes. I'm telling the space is closed I had a space here oh I didn't even notice the space yeah yeah well damn good for you thank you um I chipped my tooth back in June in New York City just chewing gum I have bad teeth always had bad teeth because I grind my teeth like cavity wise well I grind my teeth when I sleep so I I grind all the enamel off and then I also had GERD growing up so that's acid acid reflex and I would grind my teeth well as well sleep. So like when I'd wake up in the morning, I'd have like almost locked jaw. Like I'd have to

stretch out my jaw. And that's just from like subconscious anxiety. Right. And it's been happening recently again. Who knows why. You should get a bite plate. I can't because I swallowed my last one. Okay. So I grinded that shit right off. I'm telling you these are, this is like there's no, I'm sorry. I'm not going to just breathe past that. There's no way you swallowed a bite plate. I swallowed and I'll tell you how. There's these new ones and it was supposed to be the newest technology that only cover this part of your, these two teeth, because if these two teeth can't touch, your back teeth can't touch. So I got it fitted.

I put it on. Woke up. Where is this shit? You need like a mouth card. It wasn't in my bed. It was in my stomach. Right. Yeah, no, that was a mouth card.

Anyways, so I have, you can't grow enamel back. Sure. There was a while when I couldn't drink anything cold. I couldn't drink anything hot at all. Everything was room temperature. for years. That's the worst feeling in the world is that sensitive tooth. You know, I couldn't eat.

This is the worst part. Couldn't eat a popsicle. Like during the summer, because I couldn't bite into anything. Like the feeling of biting into an ice. I thought of biting into a pot. I can't. I never bite ice. I never bite ice. I never.

I'm getting shivers down my spine. Anyways, look at it. I wonder if that's how you feel when you heard people chewing. Probably. It's the way I feel when I think about biting a popsicle. Fake tooth. Fake tooth. Fake tooth.

They just took this one out. Just totally. Wow. Fink tooth cracked in New York City in June. And I still haven't gotten it fixed. Wow. I've never had a crack or a cavity and I don't floss. I floss.

Twice if not three times a day. I have one on me. It's genetic. I keep that motherfucking thing on me all the time. I floss, floss, floss, floss, floss, floss. And then, you know, I brushed twice a day. I don't know. Some people just can't be helped.

It's genetic. So, I don't. So, I don't. teeth. Okay, so I got through the Neaprint bag. I get my phone out. I convinced James to leave John's set a little bit early because it was approaching 11 and I was like, we are not going to get out of here. And like at the Hollywood Bowl and I talked to everyone and they were like, that is a good decision that you made because I'll see the end of his set. We probably missed 10 minutes or so. I can't condone. That's okay. Well, listen, it was something at the moment I wanted to do because there was a concert that we had already bought tickets to. Before I knew that I was going to. John Mulaney. For after John? For after John. So we get in a car.

We're already at the Hollywood Bowl. We get in a car. We Uber to Chinatown. To the coolest concert I've ever been to. Better than John? Like, Brooke, it was like out of a movie, like, fast and furious. Like, it was like, Chinatown is legit, like, cool and awesome. And they were really, I don't know.

It was the coolest scene ever. I'll send pictures in. to put on the for YouTubers but um we go there and they had a blimp out which is cool you know I love blamps uh go there and then my friends got a limo to take us home to back to Venice and so we get in the limo we go home that's when the foster dog woman texts and says I got two dogs that need a foster tonight and we say bring them over she brings two dogs over and to the concert no to the house because we were going to pregame and go out now and so we get back after the concert.

Now it's like... What time is it? Now it's 12.31 a.m. So we had another hour and a half to get out and go. And I said, I'm going to stick back because I'm having a woman, a stranger, drop off two dogs at your home. Wait, I'm so sorry. You had already been to the concert? Left the concert in the limo.

And then you... Sure. Left the concert in the limo. Came back home and you were going to go out again? Sure. Oh, Jesus. Sure. And so we get home.

And then she dropped the dogs off and we ended up all just hanging out and cuddling with the dog. Instead of going out and then she picked him up the next day. Oh, you just needed a one-night babysit situation? She dropped off. Let me show you this dog. She dropped off probably a nine-week-old. Let me see. Golden Retriever.

I keep getting... At 1 a.m. and then picked it up the next morning? Yeah. Something's not adding up. I know. No, I agree. Let me get a picture of this dog's face. Hang on.

That's not what fostering is. That's a really cute dog. I'm thinking we fostered in the sense that the owner of the dog wanted to go out to bars. I agree. And we watched her dog while she did that. Right, but it's 1 a.m. The dog can just sleep. Something's wrong.

Something was wrong, but I don't say no in an opportunity like that. Of course. We fostered the dogs overnight, so you can call me a foster. Yeah. Now. Foster dad. Yeah. Things have changed since I began fostering.

Yeah. Look at me. Yeah, I've noticed. I've noticed. I've noticed. Yeah. There's a little bit of a glow to me. You're more of an empath.

It could be that or the spirit from my home has entered my body and is tap dancing on my soul. Could be. Where's the bird? I know. Right. Right. I don't know if there ever was a bird to begin with. No, I'm not.

No. No, no, no. You're gaslighting me. I'm not gaslighting you at all. I'm trying to understand. Swear to God. And walk you through something and come to terms with your demons. I'm not.

I don't think it's a finch. Like, it's not a demon. Right. No, inner, more of an inner demon than an outer demon. I'm not fighting any demons. I have come to terms with my demons. We're all fighting demons. I'm not fighting anybody.

I don't like confrontation. I hear you. I hear that. We can, we can, it's easier for me to just tell the demons, hey. Actually, I could kind of get behind you personally not having any demons. Yeah. Yeah. I'm good. I can't.

I actually don't have. Or just one, a demon trying to introduce themselves. No, no, thank you. I'm good. I honestly don't have it. I don't have it in me this week. Right. To fight any demons.

I can understand. You know when I get really bored? Yeah. Demons arise. Right. Right. I'm like, I have time today. Right.

I have time today. But for the most part, demons come and go as they please. I'm hoping the bird was not a demon now that you're. Well. Do weo, do we doodle. Okay. So just rolling on the pop culture current events news. A headline just kind of popped up for me that I really care about this week.

about a man whose penis fell off, but it regrew, sorry, the headline is, my penis fell off, but it re-grew on my arm. Now I'm a real man again. Sure. Sure. Of course. Yeah. Immediate thoughts? Yeah.

Is your penis, is penis, peni falling off a concern? Let me read a little bit of a background on this. Is that something that could happen? So Malcolm McDonald, who's 40, 37 years old. He's a divorced father. Loss his penis due to a severe blood infection and has had an artificial member surgically attached to his

nether region. Six years after it was designed by doctors. And he feels like a new man again. So he has a new penis attached to where the penis originally was. Yeah. So brand new penis. In the cross area. So basically they took,

they manufactured a new penis for him using a skin flap on his left arm. Okay. So they plan to move. like the new dick down to his pubic area. That feels fine. But they were forced to stop because there was an issue with like his blood flow. So he was left with the artificial cock on his forearm. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

They started building the dick on his. I figured they would remove the skin from the arm and then start attaching it to the region. but they started building it on the arm connected to the arm already. So a similar thing would be like when people begin to like when they need a hair transplant or something. They'll sometimes if you're not growing hair here, they'll take something from your ass or your leg and they'll put it up and they'll surgically put it up here. And something similar happened where a woman lost a chunk of her tongue and a fire

and they moved something from her leg and she now has to shave her tongue because it grows hair. on her tongue. I understand moving one part of your skin to another part of your skin. I don't understand why they didn't just take the skin off and then start building the dick on the dick rather than immediately start building the dick on the arm. They couldn't build the dick on the dick because the surgery that was just a bunch of mix up with COVID-19. It was pushed on for six years. Due to COVID-19 protocol. We had no choice but to build a dick on your arm. There were staff shortages. So sometimes, sometimes you got to grow a dick on your arm and you really have to power through. And the only way out is through via dick on your forearm.

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moderate to severe eczema. Also called atopic dermatitis that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies. Ebglis can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you're allergic to Epglis. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. Eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with Epgless. Before starting Epgless, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. Ask your doctor about Ebglis and visit Ebglis.lid.com or call 1-800 LilyRX or 1-800 545-97579. So here he is. Here's Mac here. And he said, can you imagine what it was like for six years of your life with a penis swinging on your arm?

It's been a nightmare for him. Right. Can you imagine? No, I honestly, to be honest, Connor, I can't. Yeah. Why didn't he just get it cut off? Well, because he needed it. I'll tell you exactly why. Because have you ever customized something such as a pair of shoes online? No, but I could put myself in a position where I could imagine that. Imagine you customize your perfect car.

Okay. Imagine that. Close your eyes. Imagine that. Imagining. And then imagine it's back ordered for six goddamn years. Right. And all you can think about is this perfect car.

It's done. You can visualize it. Oh, shit. You could see it. Oh, yeah. And then guess what? Here's Mac. And we've got six years that pass.

That was a really good way to frame that for me as someone who didn't really understand. And my favorite quote from Mac, if we could scroll down a little bit, was the dad designed his dream penis with the help of surgeons and added an extra two inches to the man-made model, making it six inches in total. He says they were happy to listen to what I wanted it to be like, which was amazing. Not many can say they have a designer penis. Wait, he added two inches to make a fix inch. He added two inches. He added two inches. Let's fucking go, Mac.

I feel like you would want to, if you're making your own penis, you would want to add maybe three inches? It's not about really the size of the ship. It's about the motion. Right, but I just feel like if you're already designing a designer penis, might as well go bigger, go home. I can't really speak on behalf of someone else's experience in their body. You're, I've been doing a lot of that today. You know,

it's okay, because we're calling people out for it, and it's okay to, this is all about, this podcast, this podcast is all about growth, whether it's two inches or three inches. Right.

So back in March, a New York man actually almost lost his penis after it turned black and began to rot when he injected cocaine into a vein. Goes without saying. On his cock. The patient, you know, whatever. He didn't have as good a luck. And I don't really know why I told you that piece of information. Anyways, so Kate Beckinsell has since scoured the internet. She's really

not happy with the news. Kay Beacinsell is obviously gorgeous. She's taken to her Instagram account to repost Mr. McDonald's story. Sorry, really quickly. Could he not have cut the penis off of his arm and put it in a freezer? No, he couldn't because where would he pee from? No, Connor, he was not peeing out of his arm. He must have been peeing from whatever was left.

Do you think he had a vagina? Like, what do you? He had something, yeah. I think he had a urethra still that just wasn't at the end of a dick. He wasn't peeing out of his arm. He could have cut, I don't know, maybe

That'd be so tight to be at a festival and be like, I gotta pee. I'm not even going to the bathroom. I can, I don't know much about science, but I know that man wasn't pissing out of his arm. You could join the Mile High Club without even unzipping your pants. You know, they say keep your dick in your pants. Right. Okay. Okay.

But. How about I keep it on my forearm? Maybe he just needed the blood circulation to keep it alive. And that's why I had to be on arm. So Kate Beckensale Sorry, yeah Went ahead and she said What did she say?

She took to Instagram on Thursday Sharing a story about McDonald That was published by the post Which is what we just read And she shared a screenshot And said And this is a screenshot By the way, if you're watching on YouTube

You can see that they've taken Basically senior photos Of Mr. McDonald With his schlong Dangling from his forearm Obviously it's his gorgeous designer schlestone long dangling. They've only blurred out his

a region of his forearm but Kate Beck and Sill posted this for some reason and said literally scouring for news that doesn't make me want to jump out the window. The man said it's not every day you see a man with a penis on his arm. Of course I see the funny side. Of course he's from the UK. Of course he's done a photo shoot down the wreck with a

Willie hanging out of his sleep. Feel momentarily better. God bless you. Malcolm XXXX. The first comment is WTF. Sure. Yeah. But like we got to support all bodies. That's what this whole podcast is about, really. Supporting all. But obviously. In the same way that we did ask Alexander Dodario come on our podcast,

Mr. McDonald asked Ms. Beckinsale on a date. And the post has reached out since to Beckinsale's reps to see if she has any interest in taking McDonald up on his office. Right. The actress is currently believed to be single. So we may be seeing something spicy in the McDonald-Bek and Cell region via designer penis. Well, I'm eagerly anticipating an update. Wow.

He looks so excited to have his new. Wait, I thought he didn't like it. He said he was living a nightmare for six years. Is it not on his arm anymore? No, now. they are showing his new they're saying it's the best thing that ever happened to me they finally move this

oh he was able to move it down to where it should be so okay so it's no longer but he does unfortunately he he does have to pump it with an air pump to get it hard oh shit he has inflate it so have you seen that episode of SpongeBob with

the muscles yeah yeah yeah yeah it was called no it was called with Larry the lobster no with the shark man that inflated inflatable arms. We can cut this part. SpongeBob, but...

I'm thinking of the Larry the Lobster workout episode. This one. Oh, yeah, I have seen that episode. Muscle Bob Buff Pants is the name of the episode. And, okay. Anchor arms. He had anchor arms, but on his penis.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I'm buff. Yeah, I do. So, I mean, brilliant. I wanted those growing up. Yeah, we all did. Anyways, so that was That's what's happening in the news

In our neck of the woods That is Should we just do an email? Yeah, I do want to talk about that one hot take About celebrity crushes being overrated Oh yeah Because I have a theory about that Hold on, let me put my glasses on for this

I have an email in my notes too That I'll send over but I Basically someone emailed us Kate emailed us and said Celebrity crushes are overrated I've never understood them And I don't think I ever will Why swoon after someone

that you'll never get a chance with. I'd much rather have a crush on someone I know or have seen in person. Hope this doesn't offend you, Brooke, from Kate. And Kate, that doesn't offend me at all and I have a working theory on this. Kate, I would wager a bet that you are a somewhat mentally stable individual.

And I say this because all of my friends, myself included, that have these intense celebrity crushes, either have severe depression, anxiety, have been in therapy forever, have been on meds, something, the greater meant the variable of mental illness factors you have, the higher, the higher intensity of your celebrity crushes.

So I, for one, been in therapy since I was five. And I immediately, I developed an extreme crush on the count from Sesame Street around that era. That was a life-threatening crush. And then immediately it went into Woody from Toy Story. And these were the kind of crushes that like, all I could talk about. was the count. I had 18 dolls of the count. All of my pictures from when I was little. Could that be like an OCD thing? Like an obsessive compulsive? So, Connor, I'm so glad you brought that up because not a lot of people understand that OCD

is not organization. Which I had. It is not all about compulsive behaviors. It's a lot about compulsive thoughts. Well, that's how I am with chewing. And a bunch of people have since reached out and said that my thing with chewing, that makes me want to like jump into traffic, like physically. like I cannot be there I shake with anger and angst is probably obsessive-compulsive. Maybe. It could be. But I just know my OCD takes form of like obsessive thought spirals.

Did I ever tell you about why my parents first sent me to therapy when I started exhibiting signs? What is it? Wait, just give me a teaser so I know if I've... It has to do with 9-11? No. Oh, I thought I was responsible for 9-11 when I was five. where were you in Pennsylvania

totally coordinating the entire well I literally was I it happened 9-11 2001 and like the next day I was like oh fuck me I did that and I went to my parents and I was like I panicking panicking like please like please take me to jail like I did this I did this I know I did this I know I did this

and they were kind of just like what the fuck you would have been on the you would have been on the first flight to some somewhere I'd be admitted I remember this conversation with my dad and I was like, I know I did this. And he was like, I promise you. I promise you, you didn't. And he's like, and I was like, there is no way you could know that I'm not responsible. And he kept saying like, he was like, I promise you there is a way that I promise you.

And I just like was convinced. And that was OCD was the obsessive thoughts that I did this. Because when you're a kid, you don't really understand. I would love to like have that version of you on and be like, were you, do you remember being? driving a plane to the Twin Towers? You don't understand the power of your thoughts. So I thought that I could visualize it. That meant that I somehow willed it to happen.

And then after that, like, whenever I thought, like, oh, I hate my mom or whatever, I thought that I was willing something bad to happen to her. And that... Except on your... Yeah. Break your mother's bad vibes. Right, that kind of thing.

And you just get so stuck in these thought spirals and you can't get out. And it's... Are you saying that maybe, since I don't have any intense celebrity crushes that maybe I'm pretty good mentally? I think, anyway, sorry, I got a little off track about my theory. I think that when you have, there's some sort of void that you're trying to fill when you have these celebrity crushes.

And I think that comes with having some sort of mental illness. So the people that I know that have these really intense celebrity crushes like myself have a lot of baggage in that department. Interesting. Yeah. Can't relate, but that's interesting. Yeah. Yeah, so I think, but I also think guys are a different story because they don't tend to have the kind of celebrity crushes that girls have.

Yeah. But I think among the girls that I know, it's pretty stark those of us who have these crushes are probably all on anxiety meds. I'm wishing you the best in that department. Yeah, thank you. We'll offline. Yeah. Because I'm curious about what anxiety meds you take. Lexa pro.

Do you want some? Yeah. Okay. All right. We got an email that was kind of funny. I don't know if we'll have any commentary on them. I just wanted to share because I think it's just an absurd story and it's kind of fun to listen to the first. Yeah.

This is good. So several years ago, my roommate and I decided to invite our neighbors over for breakfast. It was two guys that were our age, Sam and Alex, whose balcony was across from ours. So they come over and I'm cutting up fruit in the kitchen. We were all talking and I was pretty distracted and I wasn't paying attention. All of a sudden, I felt something hit my finger. I looked down and I just cut off the top third of my middle. little finger.

Ooh. Yeah, that's hard. That's a hard one. I froze and Sam said, did you just cut off your finger? I paused and simply said no, for some reason. My initial thought was that I was being pranked and that I was staring at a fake finger from a Halloween store.

Suddenly. That is so scary how the body protects you like that. Well, like, when you have a big, when you have a big injury like that, shock. It puts you in shock and you're like, no. That is not real. But when you get a pay.

paper cut, it's like, end my life. I literally, step your toe? Yeah. Why the, why am I alive? Yeah. Yeah, like when I jumped off a rock in Hawaii and hit my foot and didn't feel it, but I knew that I hit so hard that my brain was like, you're paralyzed from the waist down, but my one leg I went to kick and I couldn't feel my leg from the knee down, but I felt the

flaps of my skin catching in the water. The worst part about that was, if you've ever lived near or around a bit, you know, or around, beach you know how embarrassing it is for a lifeguard to get involved with you that's a touristy type thing and the freaking four-wheelers i almost was like don't worry about it but i looked behind me and it was just red from blood and my foot was torn to shreds anyways thank you so much so suddenly you're alex in this situation suddenly alex passes out at the side of my hand and lands face first in the open dishwasher all hell breaks lose my roommate was scrambling to put pressure on my ham and While Sam was trying to wake up Alex, between the shock of chopping my finger off

and seeing an unconscious, bleeding man lying face down in my dishwasher, I began to puke. Yeah. As I start to vomit, Alex woke up and turns towards me. As soon as he saw me puking, he starts to blow chunks into my clean dishwasher. Sam ended up calling 911, and I remember a paramedic picking up two of Alex's teeth out of the dishwasher. We had a ride into the ambulance together. Luckily, my finger was chopped off in a clean cut, and they were able to reattach it. For some reason, that's the grossest part of the story to me.

That's Moody's Point vibes. Did you watch Moody's Point? In the Amanda show? Yeah. Alex, they have it in the freezer, really weird. Alex had also both of his teeth put back in. Ready for this? Ready.

Alex and I have now been together for almost five years. This is probably the most horrific how we met story on the planet, but we both think it's hilarious now. That's really, really sweet. I want something like that. Well, go chop your hand off. I will. For love, I will.

Go get a dick put on your forearm. If you know what's good. for you. Right. That not so much. Slide into someone's DMs. Oh my God. Imagine I start dating dick arm. Put your vagina on your elbow and see what happens. I don't think you'd even notice.

What's that thing called your elbow? Wieness. Your weanus is showing. It's literally just like your vagina. Well, I think we'll wrap up on today, right? I think so. I'm a little nervous about everything that's come out of my mouth this episode. This was very all over the place. I hope. You guys come back next week.

I got a lot of water to drink. I got to get out of here and chug some water. I don't. Connor has chugged the 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. section of his massive water bottle. I don't know how you're not exploding. I feel pretty sick. I do feel pretty sick. Yeah.

There's only a certain amount of water that's supposed to be in your body. We're already 99% made up of water. That's jellyfish. No, it's humans as well. No. I'm positive. That's the earth you're thinking. No.

I'm positive. that we're mostly water. Can someone Google that real quick? How much percentage of water are humans? I think it's 70%. No, it's like 90s. 55 to 78% water. 60%.

That's wrong. You're thinking of jellyfish. No, I'm not. How much percentage of a jellyfish is water? I have no problem in a minute of when I'm wrong. 95%, thank you. And on that note, we'll wrap up. I love being correct and right.

Even my opinions are most of the time pretty much spot on. And with that, I think we let you guys, we release you into the wild. And with that, we are 99% water. Thank you so much for tuning in. That is jellyfish. And we love you. And please email us an arrest story. The last time you were arrested.

Sure. Smoo-Jew. Bye.