Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - Large Pen!s Support Group (ft. Jack Martin and Sally Darr Griffin)

Episode Date: March 10, 2022

This week Brooke and Connor talk with Jack and Sally about entering into their weed phases, Jack's roommate's weird eating habits, and shutting down their content house, Common Room LA. Email us at [e-mail] !! Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/bandc  Go to https://Apostrophe.com/BANDC and click Begin Visit, then use our code BANDC at sign up and you’ll get your first visit for only five dollars! To find a retailer who delivers right to your door head to https://budlight.com/NEXT. Enjoy responsibly, messaging for 21+ Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://BetterHelp.com/bandc  B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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That's Freedom to Be. Use us directed. answer is that Brooke and Connor butted heads the most but again where did you get that from that's gonna be my answer now I'm genuinely sweating from that from that there's listening on your face because you feel like you're wrong yeah because I feel like you're so wrong really I know I like you're telling her not to eat I know for all right I remember earlier that I said I stand with Brooke yeah yeah I do you you stood with me when I said not I you shouldn't support all woman I didn't say that's the only thing you've ever stood again you're putting words in your mouth that is open while you chew

Easy. Ooh. I said I stand with you because you said you don't need to support all. And then you were the first one to jump up and say I stand with Brooke the first time you've ever stood with me. All right. I stand with you a lot and I sit with you a lot once a week on this podcast. And I'll continue to do that. Hi, everybody.

Welcome back to Brooke and Connor make a podcast. We are here once again with our friends Jack Martin and Sally Dar Griffin. If you haven't heard last week's episode, Brooke, what should they do? I would recommend going back and listening to it. Yeah, no, that's, if you have the chance. That's brilliant, Brooke. Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, so go back and listen to it. We did a full rundown of our, like, the beginning of our time together in the content house that we made, common room, how it came to be, whatever. So whatever, et cetera, is what I meant to say. Yes. If you haven't heard that go back and listen to it, check it out. But let's get back into it, shall we? Yes.

I think where we left off was Jack was telling us how he got into, you know, an intense. tense fitness schedule in the second or third week of our time together. Yeah, I was soaking my zero carb cereal milk for days and days. For days with a side of creatine, of course, goes without saying. And then Connor, and we were looking for something to do as well. And Connor suggested. I created two female Seth Rogen's. That we become stoner.

And thank you. So that you were saying that the weed didn't have a great effect on you. No, I was having, I mean, I immediately had a panic attack. And I was like, this isn't for me. I probably took, like, I don't know, milligrams or anything, but I probably had like one tenth of what a normal person would ingest to the, like, to hell with me. Yeah. Meanwhile, I, I was like, am I going to be here forever?

Thought I was the next greatest comedian. Yeah, me as well. Me as well, yeah. And I would write these skits and I was like, these are so, so brilliant. Like, submitting this to SNL. And then Connor would just be like, oh, like, and we actually, we have a clip. Yeah, no. I was, there was a time when I was like, Brooke, we've lost her. Like, we've lost Brooke. Well, we would come home and you would just be, like, locked in your room. And I would hear this, like, high-pitched laughter. Like a hyena shrieking through the walls.

I was just racking myself up from, I just thought, I really thought I was, like, the next greatest thing. And we can show you how. You have a, you have a TikTok that I was like, are you sure you want to post this? Right. Well, I thought I had a really, really brilliant idea. And just to preface this video. Oh my God, this is so great. I was like, how fucking funny would it be if I brought Connor in to show him something

and I start playing the cha-cha slide music? But instead of doing the cha-cha slide, I'm going to do Cot Night Joe. And I was like, this is not stuff that this is, this is, this is comedy. This is Lauren Michaels. I want to say, you were right. Yeah. This is so funny. Can we watch it?

Yeah. And if you're on YouTube, you can see disclosure. Share out my news song Just like no breath Smokers laugh I was like excited to see what your joke was Confused I was like no you're done

I could not Because I was just excited for what I was excited for what I was about to show him That's why I couldn't stop laughing She can't breathe I can't believe I posted that And no one knew I'm like there's no way I'm doing

The cotton I Joe to the Joshua slide Hi, I'm welcome And that I mean that was And then after that I watched that the next day And I was like, all right By the way I'm throwing my weed pen That was so good

I want to flag that that has 70,000 likes. That's crazy. Maybe I'm on a second after all. But anyway, that is what made me throw out. You should smoke more weed. I didn't throw out my weed pen, but I definitely. Well, the issue with us smoking is we would smoke. We would have great ideas.

Then you go to sleep. No, we weren't really capable of filming them in the moment. We tried, but they were always horrible. And then when we would watch it later, it would be like, well, that just isn't going to work. Yeah, no, it's not going to work. And what's so funny is that, like, I think, like, no one knew that you. you were like, hi, whatever and that. But everyone thought that I was stoned in every one of my videos.

People were like, you were zonked to the moon. And it was me all along. I know. Which no one expect. I have to say, I feel like in that one, people could maybe tell. I feel like, because that was really my first time smoking ever, and it was just so far from my brand that I don't think anyone even considered it. Well, what were some of the comments?

I remember some of the comments like, whoa, like what the hell? You're flopping. It's going on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. People are like she's lost it. What's so funny is, like, I think about this content house, and I remember, I remember looking at other people that, like, like, Carolyn Rick and that whole group that, like, they were so funny and they, like, found their brand and their content house, and they grew by millions of followers.

And I was like, oh, like, you simply just need to be around other people. Right. And it'll work. My most flopperorama era was living in that house. I know. We were having too much fun. We were having so fun. It was really fun.

We, I mean, we had the time of our lives. You made a good video about Army Hammer. Yeah, and that was my first time getting canceled. Yeah. Right, yeah. Well, what's funny is, like, we thought that we would grow so much. We grew a little, I did. But other content houses.

It's got like 100K in a month. I feel good about it. And then it just stopped there. Well, I think because we had seen, like, other houses do this, and it was just like all of these things, but, like, these houses, these other houses, what a lot of people don't know about, these content houses with these teenagers, they're all managed by adults. Right.

Yeah. Talent managers. Like, like, make a video. Who's saying, this is your, you have to. to do this. Right. And granted, none of their things were bits that they're waking up and riding. But we had a very different experience and we were like comparing ourselves to these people that like we're getting. And we didn't have anyone holding us accountable besides ourselves and we weren't really capable of. We couldn't do that at 25. Well, and also even though it wasn't that

long ago, like it was kind of like a different time on TikTok. Right. Now like everybody who's doing comedy or anything in entertainment is on TikTok. Like at this time it pretty much just was like the shirtless answer. So to and to give like some context around this. this is the era like this was before please don't destroy it got signed to s and out right so like i in in my head i'm like i didn't know that comedy groups could exist like i didn't like what was in what's neighbor group good neighbor good neighbor like i was unaware of them as a group i know all the individuals obviously but like i didn't know that comedy groups could like prevail so i was thinking like we'll all individually post videos and like grow and whatever but i didn't know that as a group like

that that could be our like main thing and also at the same time this is the era when If you're familiar with TikTok, Bryce Hall's electricity is getting shut off for having parties, massive parties during the pandemic. Meanwhile, we're in this house. We're only seeing each other because it was literally like peak. Like people are wearing masks outside to walk their dog. Restaurants weren't open.

Restaurants weren't open. Yeah, no. So like it was pretty much like we had, we were, I was losing my mind. Every Friday was just like the four of us just sitting around like drinking. We had nothing to do. Right. Just slowly losing.

We would go on walks. Deuteriorating. It was so overwhelming even though we had nothing to do. That was the overwhelming. It was like paralyzing. Yeah, it was paralyzing. But so anyways, we're in this Airbnb for what? Like over a month, right?

Two months? Over a month. And then we had tried. Oh, and I would walk. So basically, at the end of our like one month's stint, which was a trial period for us to be like, can we do this? Let's see. Like, we had all agreed that like if we get a brand deal for the house and we pay our rent since we're, because we were paying for. it. Right. And it was expensive. If we get a brand deal and we break even, that's a win.

Right. And I don't think we got a brand deal in the first house. We didn't. Yeah. I don't think so. We gave it an extended trial period and we're like, okay, maybe we need to do one month. You can't do anything in 30 days. Granted, I think we had like 75,000 followers on our joint account at that point. Right. And all of our videos were performing at well. We had some nibbles. We had some interest. Yeah, sure. But we, uh, And we also had gained a lot of followers, or a good amount of followers personally, and followers in TikTok language is the most valuable currency. So I think we were looking at it as like, okay, like we're getting these numbers, like, that's worth it even if we didn't get a brand view.

Yeah. Yeah. And so I basically like talk to the Airbnb person. I was like, we'd really, because it was a family home. And I was like, can we extend like all the stuff? And they basically like approved it. But I didn't tell the group. And I came into the room and I was like, guys, we have to talk.

No, you texted us before. That is the biggest understatement of this century. You send us a text to the group chat saying we need to talk. And he's just... He said house meeting. House meeting. Oh, God. It's the phrase.

Period. Period. The most menacing text have ever received in my life. Like basically sending a 911 text to the group. And no one even knows where he is. I think you and I were in the house and we're like, where the hell even is there? That was a blue bottle. With me.

I was with him while this was happening and he still wouldn't tell me. He was like, we'll talk about it when we get back. We'll talk about it when we get back. back. Oh my god, it was so scary. And it was so scary because we all knew this had something to do with if we could stay or go. Keep in mind, these are four adults in a content house.

And everyone's like, this was the scariest moment of my life. It was. And it was. It was either going to do two things. It was going to be extended or we were going to be kicked out and we would be, like, Brooke would have to be. Back to square. Also, like for some reason in general in this house, there was a high amount of stress.

We all felt like this was a life or death. Yeah. Well, I think it all kind of like hinges on this fact that like with TikTok so much, you can get an email that changes your life. Like just an email that could come at any point of any day. And I kept waiting for that to happen for us to get signed on to something. And I was just like, why hasn't it happened yet? Yeah, like, why isn't it?

24 days into this project that we're testing. So anyways, we get in there and, like, I had gotten the message that we got approved to extend. And I sit down, sit them down. I have a video that I don't know where it is. But there base, I'm like, guys, we got approved to stay. And, like, they're like, we hate you or something out of you. Yeah, our response was like, fuck. Yeah, it was like everyone, like, no one was excited.

Everyone was like, that's so fucking annoying that you did that. And I was like, that's funny to me. Just like most of my TikToks are funny to me and they're not very well received either. Right. But, so I'm going to fast forward maybe like, what, three days? Three days. Yeah. So we were just like hanging out and, and well, come on.

We basically get a DM from the owner of the house who has found our. Via Instagram, not on the app. Right. Who has found our joint account and has found out that three adult creators three adult content creators have absolutely exposed his family home and we need to be out by noon. And this is at 7 a.m. I've rolled over in my bed and I'm checking our DMs and I walk into Little Brooke's room and I say, hey, bro. And I had two twin beds and I had just finally pushed them together, which was something I was dreaming about. I had been waiting out of a suitcase. And I had just unpacked when he had that conversation with us for the first time.

Right. We had finally been like, we're home. Yeah, we'd extended for like two more. months. And we were like, now we're going to be productive. Like, we feel comfortable. We have a place to stay indefinitely. Like, we are good. We're going to do this. We're going to blow up. We're going to be signed to S&L by next week. Like, all this stuff. And I'm sleeping in bunk beds, by the way, which I was used to. This is my second house in a row of sleeping in bunk. I don't like bunk beds. I feel safe on the bottom bunk. And I go. Hey, Brooke. Morning. And she goes, uh, like, hey, I'm like, go ahead and back your stuff. Because we're, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Got you. Are your things. Hey, go ahead and... Get the fuck out of my house, Brooke. Go ahead and pack all of your belongings because we're being... We're being evicted.

And then I go, and she goes, are you serious? I thought he was filming again because he had just done that whole bit with making us sweat about if we could stay or not. So I'm like, where's your phone? Where's your phone? He's filming. Like, Jack is going to walk out behind him. Yeah. And then, like, after 10 minutes of being like, where's your phone?

You're filming this is a bit. I go, Brooke, no, you have three hours to pack your belongings. We got to go. We gotta get out of here. We also don't have a place to go. And we also have nowhere to go. Back to H.Q. I'm looking at flights again.

Back to the U-Haul. Philly. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I'm like the sole reason that Brooks still lives in Los Angeles. 100%. Yeah. Like I begged her.

I was like, do not buy a flight. Yeah. And you literally, everybody was coping in a different way. Like you couldn't pack. You were just like standing there like, I was just standing there. I was like throwing things at the wall for,

like throwing things at the wall, God knows what you were doing. Well, you know exactly what I was doing. For some reason when everyone's upset in the very high stress situation. I'm over the moon. You're like, let's get a drink. He was happy. I was like, guys, why don't we just go to a bar

and we'll talk about it? Like, there's no reason to be upset. We're alive. We're well. We're in Hollywood. Meanwhile, like, in my head I'm like, I'm going to kill myself. But like, I couldn't be like that in front of you guys because you guys were already suicidal. You went to a rooftop bar. You were like, I went and had a drink. Because you know what? There's no

point stressing. It's already done. We're going to figure it out and guess what? We did. We found a new Airbnb and on paper it looked great. We just clicked on the first We clicked on it. We went over there. One of you showed it to me and I was like, just do it.

In the evening, we moved in and our stoner landlord did a walk through and said, basically like, I don't really give a shit what you do in here. You can do anything. You can do anything you want. And I said, this seems like the place for us.

Well, and the mysterious man who owned the house was like in Bali on some sort of vegetable. He came back from Bali. Oh, no. Some sort of spirit. Was it him? We'll get to the Bali.

He also designed the house with his own two hands. And I can only. say that that house was designed by someone from an architectural standpoint by someone that didn't get out of touch. Was on heavy, heavy psychedelic. LSD. And we found out with meeting him that he was.

He was. And he was on psychedown. And I also feel like it would have been someone who was on monkey bars hanging upside down, drawing with their non-dominant hand and with their eyes closed on LSD and just like, they're like, that's, it's perfect. Can we describe the layout of the house? Yeah. So, I mean, it was, it was a, it was a, it was a, it.

looks like such a big house when you pull up to it. But we got, we got like a long, narrow strip of this house. You walk in amazing vaulted ceilings, huge cathedral style living room connected to the kitchen. And then you walk direct, like you have to walk through every bedroom to get to each one. So it was kitchen bathroom that like guests would use,

just like the main bathroom of the house. No door that, like a sliding door that doesn't lock to close the door from the bathroom. separate the bathroom in the kitchen and then immediately walking through the bathroom is my room again no no doors did my can you guys hear me still something just went out okay um no sort of lock so my room just had no you were just open to the living room at all times no lock so my room was basically in the kitchen separated by a bathroom with doors that had no lock anyone who used that bathroom would just be putting on a show putting on a show right there's nothing like just taking a morning shit and like jock

making a smoothie the same time. And we'll get into that. So basically as you walk through, I'm in this back bedroom and then there was a last bedroom that you had to walk through my room and then immediately, when walking out of my room, it would be your bathroom. Oh, you have to go through.

Through your bathroom to get to your room. Then you would walk outside and then Jack lived in a shed. Yeah, there was a deck that was never meant to be a deck. And then this small little shed that I lived in. It was a shed. With, I guess, a closet. that like just like there were no lights there was like a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling

and my clothes I just like had my suitcase sort of pushed in the corner there was like one window that I think had bars on it that where the sunlight would just sort of flow there was my only light source and I would just sort of be in there there was a door that was like barricaded yeah I don't know what led it led to a different building it may be a basement yeah someone had for some reason been like I need to put multiple locks on that this door you know because whatever's behind it is like dangerous. Looking back, I would have rather had that shed that locked than my room in the kitchen.

I was gonna say, I came to love the shed. You pumped out some serious content in that shit. Yeah, you did. I mean, that shed was, I miss it. Yeah. To be honest. That shed was your hype house. It was my high house.

And there was a great piece of this setup, which was that my, there was no bathroom in my shed. Can you imagine the bathroom in my shed? No, that'd be here. No, to use the bathroom, I had to leave my shed, cross the deck, outside. Go into your bedroom, walk past your bed, and then go to the bathroom, which was,

inside your bedroom. And there were doors that... Adjacent to my room. Yeah, and there were doors that had slits all through them that didn't really close. Right. And then there was a toilet directly facing you. Where I sleep.

So I just have to crawl through your bedroom. I want to flag a visual for everybody. Something that Jack, I know we touched on Jack's morning schedule in the last... In the last pod last week, but something missing from Jack's morning schedule is his morning visit to the

bathroom. Yeah. And it was... Morning to pasta. So when your diet is like 80% liquid, it doesn't really work well. Right. Well, it comes out as fast as it goes.

And guess what? Yeah. I'm very aware of how it comes out. Because you were making direct, if not, if not direct, I mean, you, yeah, it was direct. I'm looking at you. You're just...

You're laying down through the blind. Looking up at me. You're going beast mode in there. Erupting. You were absolutely going. going ham. I would genuinely make eye contact with you. I know.

I was just starting my dominance. Yeah. And trust. I was marking my territory and trust. It was borderline romantic. What's missing from that schedule is a 17-minute dump-a-rooski every morning. There were marks left on the toilet that are still there. Legend hasn't been there to put out.

I'm sure they are. There's no way they cleaned it. That house has never been cleaned. So now we're at this place. It's just like not an ideal situation. So naturally. And I couldn't make a video because my door didn't lock. So that's just like for me, game over.

The couch had this one one cushion that was just hard. Oh, rock hard. It was just like a rock hard. Hard is like an understatement. That one cushion, that one cushion couldn't make a video. Because every time I sat there, just bad mood. So basically we were in this place. We're in this new house for I think like a month and a half.

We blamed the house on everything. It was just like it was not. The floor's too sticky to make a video today. Sorry. It was not conducive to. It was horrible. didn't create any more content, but we finally started getting brand deals.

Yeah, we could not film them to save our lives. Yeah, we started getting brand deals for the house as like a conglomerate. Right. So like for the four of us. And, um...

And you were like, don't they know? I want to be transparent about it. You can't make videos. I'm sorry. I just can't stop thinking about like looking at you while taking like a liquid shit. I try my...

It's funny you say that because I try my hardest not to think about my experience. Jack's thinking about it all night. It was like... It was like... like, it was like intense. It was like, it was like, it was like, when you experienced it with someone, it's like hard to move on.

Right. Like that's, I'm surprised that that much volume could move like that. I'm not. It's not about the size of the ship is about the motion of your anus. Yeah. We, so we, uh, it bonded us. Yeah. We, uh, finally started getting interest from brands.

And I want to be totally transparent because I like when influencers do this. We would get brand deals that would literally, break even on us paying rent. So we would get a brand deal from, I think Tampax was our first one. Yeah. And we can pull up that TikTok in a second. But I can't remember what the actual dollar amount was,

but I think that we were paying each $2,200 a month to live in that second crazy trap house. It paid our rent. And it paid exactly like the amount. Call us Tampax House. Yeah, Tampax House. And so like to give total transparency, like I think they paid us like six grand or something to do like one video for $100,000. Johnny. And then.

With that math not adding up. Oh, it was like $6,400. It paid exactly. It paid the rent. Yeah, we broke even. I remember, like, siphoning that directly

into Venmo and then pushing it out. So that's what we got paid. And then we got... Well, and then we got a second one. We got Casper. Yeah. Casper was our final video we posted on our joint account.

Nothing like a goodbye. Our goodbye video is an ad from Casper. I think probably the only videos we posted in that house. We're at. Yeah. Buy everyone. Buy everyone.

Buy our. tampons and pillows. And we never, tampons and pillows go together like white on rides. No, you don't have to tell me that. I know. Yeah.

I learned a lot about periods and tampons in that house. I also think we should flag. The reason, like, after being in this house for like a month and a half, whatever, Jack ended up landing an incredible role on NBC. NBC's LaBrea TV show.

Jack is an actor. I don't, did you say that already? I don't think so. Okay, so Jack is like an officially like I-N-B-B-D-act. I'm bidde-a-b-d-a-actor. I have a video of him finding out that he got the role. Oh, I cried.

I was so happy. I cried, too. It was, like, crazy to watch. And so at that point, it was like, we're done being a TikTok house. Well, also, I had to move to Australia to do it. Right. Well, I mean, like, we still had, like, a month before you shipped out, but it was like, we had resigned emotionally. We had, like, pretending like we already didn't.

Every day, it was, like, a different. We had, like, 15 going away parties for you. Everyone was so excited. And then it was like, oh, damn. Right. What the hell? What do we do? What do we do?

Like, shipping off to Australia. So happy for you, but like what's happening with my career. Right. Right. Yeah. I was scared. Honestly, it was really scary. Yeah.

Super happy for you. Yeah, of course. That goes without saying. Yeah. But it was like, Brooke had to find a leave. Right. Well, I didn't know. I was like, do I just go back home?

Yeah. Or what? Also, I feel like we just sort of glazed over our neighbor. Yeah. The second house. Right. Oh, we were a member of Bachelor Nation. We were a mom.

Yeah. For like a month. Right. Oh. Oh my God. Yeah. Twice? Yeah.

Who was? Well, there. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But our neighbor who lived in the back house was on the Bachelor.

Yeah. That was an interesting thing to just be like, oh. Well, he had quite the lifestyle. I was really aware of it because my shed was adjacent to his shed. Right. And so I, At, like, 10 a.m., he would just be blasting, like, big booty mix. Right.

I could hear it, too, because I was also backed up to his front door. He would just be throwing parties. It'd be, like, Tuesday at 10.30, and there'd be, like, 20 girls just walking into his house. Yeah. It would genuinely be, like, 20 girls walking back there. And they were different every time. It's like, who are these people? He's a stud.

I agree. Yeah, he's a stud. No one gets the word out like him. Yeah. No one can draw in a crowd quite like him. Meanwhile, we're just, like, four kids just like, hey. Hey. How you guys?

How are y'all doing? How are y'all doing? Like, his entourage would find their way into our living room. And into my room. Right. And of course, into the bathroom. They had to use the bathroom. Directly into your room.

They were always like, who I wonder what's in this store. That would be me sleeping with my ocean sounds at full blast. If you were curious. That did happen during. It'd be like 9 p.m. and like five people would walk in. And we were like so new there. I was like, I'm welcome. Hi.

Right. And for some reason. They'd be like, is this the bachelor party? Because you have to walk around our house to back to this guy's house. Right. So the front door was just always like for some reason not locking. Right.

So like of course. And you couldn't find his door. So it would just be a girl being like, hey. Well. Are you, are you my mother? It was. And we were like,

welcome. I guess like make yourself at home. Yeah. I didn't know what to say. You have some cod in the fridge. They'd be holding like multiple cases of like beer truly or something. Yeah. Yeah.

Also at this point in the second house, Jack, once Jack had gotten the roll, you had upped your diet game. Oh, this was my cod air. Yeah. You had up to your diet game. The camera adds 10 pounds. The camera does at 10 pounds. And you were getting cut.

And so walk us through what your trainer had told you your meal plan should be. And I'd love to. I'm really glad that you brought this up. So basically, it was my time to start meal prepping. Unfortunately, I don't know how to cook. So my trainer, who didn't live in L.A., he was just sort of a man that I would occasionally face time. I don't even trip with your shirt off.

That's not a trainer. I don't know what that counts. Yeah, you would do bench presses while a man watched you do it. Basically, yeah, it was, you know, adult content house. Right. And he just told me that I could only eat cod, which I don't know, maybe that was like a thing for him. I think that's like, he is a fetish. He is a fetish.

Probably. Is that a cat fetish? Well, we don't kink shame. If there is one, I have it. Yeah. Because I would, I would get pounds, pounds and pounds of cod, bring them into the house. And I bought a griddle, like a, like a countertop griddle. You also bought a walk, I believe.

I bought a walk. I still have it in my apartment. That I never used. A week before moving to us. I never even like opened it. No. All the tats, plastic were still on it. And I would just put the entire pound of cod, cover it in like some sort of sauce, like soy sauce or something.

And just grill it and grill it. And I spent like eight hours a day grilling it. And I remember I was the only one home and I was at the table with you and you were trying so hard to convince yourself. You were like, yeah, I mean, fish is really just what you, what you marinate in it. So what I'm tasting is really just a combination of all these. from flavors it's soy sauce it's it's kind of sweet and it goes down really nicely and you would sit there eating it with your fingers shoving it down your throat looking looking and I would I would watch just like oh oh my god I think I'm going to be sick and you're like yeah that is that is good that is

that is really really good well I needed to eat like an egregious amount of cod and you couldn't finish it so what would you do what would you do with the extras I so I so I would store it and my way of storing it was by putting it in a large gallon plastic bag and so I would just have this this sopping wet thick bag of cod that I would put in the fridge and mind you the entire house smelled like wet cod yeah yeah wet old cod yeah I didn't even yeah I didn't even notice it yeah people would walk in and they would be like oh my god was someone murdered yeah right you guys bury a body in this house it was pretty bad it was pretty And I remember like one day we had a

century. We had a come to Jesus moment where I was just like, we got to throw away the fish. The fish has to not be in the home anymore and you were even like, yeah, the fish got to go. Well, what's crazy about this is, even though it was my idea and I was the one he was doing it, I don't think anyone hated it more than me. Because I was choking

that stuff. Right. At what point? You went from convincing yourself that it was good to what was the point when you were like, I can't convince me. I think it was that you're moving to Australia. I think day two. Day two. was when I liked it on. I think you looked at me and you were like, this is actually kind of hard, huh?

Yeah, I mean, I can still sort of like when I think about it, I can like feel the cod like choking up in my throat as I tried to like force it down. There was a video that I posted me walking out of the house and going out to the dumpster holding my cod bag and there's like liquid dripping out of the bag. There was just like so much juice in it that would seep through the plastic.

And I went over to the dumpster and I just threw it. And this like wet cod was sailing through the air. Just like a free bird We put it in slowmo Yeah it was like the most magnificent Like a I can't even describe it It makes me so sick

It's fucking gross I feel like I'm gonna throw off talking about it Yeah let's Why not chicken? I literally don't point Sally Dar I think it's incredible to take a step back And think about the man That you were facetiming

Yeah I would use him and I would say Is salmon okay? Like could I do tuna? And he was like no it has to be caught He was like also send me a photo of you cooking with your shirt off. And you've,

you've been, you've been, you've been, you've been, you've been, you've been, you've been, you've been,

you've been, you've been, you have quite the presence on more sites than just TikTok and Instagram. You have some other sites that you're, you have quite a, a large influence on, speaking of large.

Let's, let's dive into my favorite one. I think LPSG. Don't act like you don't know the name. Yeah. Don't act like you know. Look it up. It's on your,

favored that site. Yeah, we all know. I've booked it. It's crazy that you got those letters right off the top. So Jack has, at some point, I don't know, through Googling himself or what, so found out that he has a large presence on a site called LPSG, large penis support group. Well, everyone has a target demo. And it's really hard having a large penis, so you didn't need a support group.

It's not your fault. Yeah, no, all the time. It's hard constantly hard. So what was happening is this was well before the show or anything. To get verified, you have to have articles about yourself. Right, right. And so I was sitting at home Googling myself. So wait, so to get background, to get verified on Instagram or anything,

you have to have at least three pieces of press, like press articles online. Yes. That mentioned you. Right. By name. And so I was looking for that. Naturally. And the first result for my name was large penis support group.

which is I think maybe still one of the first results and it's basically Can we pull that up on the I'm just kidding Yeah you can pull it up at home Oh there it is Oh LPSG

Let's see Good yeah Oh my God I mean it is it is a gay porn forum So just you know that is You know normally there's a banner ad I've visited this a few times My favorite part is if I don't know

If we can go back to LPSG or if we don't want to give it any more air time but there's specific asks Like it's a picture of Jack shirtless Any way we could get any more skin At all Does he have any bulge Like any bold picks? Any beat picks?

Yeah What's crazy about that first entry Is I've done so many live streams Yeah I've been shirtless on live one time ever Ever ever And they have 40 pictures Yeah

Right well yeah Yeah And then I made a video about it Being like this is crazy Yeah And they like taunted me They're in there being like Jack, we're not going to stop.

Oh, my God. What do you think we're going to do, stop posting? It's me that runs the site. I kind of feel like, not bitter per se, but I couldn't find myself on LPSG. Right. Well, we all wish we could be on it. Do you have shirtless content? No, I've been very mindful about that, like, since the jump.

But I have intentionally posted my feet, and I'm also not on Wiki feet. Jack's on Wiki feet and has five stars. Right. Well, he's a beautiful boy. You know? I have nice feet. Connor, I bet you by next week you'll be on LPSG. I've publicly, now that we've talked about this.

You're barefoot around West Hollywood so often that I don't know why you're not. He was flaunting it. He was trying to get on Wiki feet. I've had a very public ask to be on Wiki feet. And I assure you, these feet are hot as fuck. Five star feet. Right. You people want to have sex of my feet.

Yeah. A lot of people do. Personally, yeah. A lot of people do. I haven't heard from them yet, but they're out there. You know one thing that happened at that second house? Just the constant construction next door. So, like, that was another reason why we couldn't make videos is because the audio was horrible.

You know, and then, of course, when we left, the house next door was finished. It was finished. It was finished. Immediately the next day, construction, gone. Gone. Yeah. That house just, we could not have made one video. No, there was no way. I did see Will Farrell at that blue bottle with Molly Shannon.

Molly Shannon. and they were discussing a project. Do you think they live in the new house? I don't know. I don't know where they live. Okay, maybe worth asking. I got, I walked into a blue bottle after seeing Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon outside, which by the way, I was on the phone with you.

And I was like, I got to go. I got to go, I got to go. Because I saw, I saw Molly Shannon. I was like, that girl looks like Molly Shannon. And then I like, was like, who's she with? And I'm like, that's not Will Ferrell. It's not Will Ferrell. I'm pulling, it's Will Ferrell.

I parked so illegally, like, in front of a. You do that all the time. I know, I know. I got a parking ticket this morning. I parked in front of a fire hydrant in front of like a we will tow you sign. And I said, it's worth it. Like, I'm going to lose my car. I'm going to say something. I'm going to say something. I walk right past it and say anything. I've never, I don't get really Starstruck. We see people all the time. And I walk in and I'm like panic ordering and I'm like, I'll do a baguette at blue bottle.

And that's all they gave me. And I sat right behind Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon eating a baguette. And in my head, a whole baguette. I'm just picking at it kind of just. Yeah, kind of how like Jackson. ate his cod just very slowly. My fingers, yeah, it's finger food. Thinking in my stupid, dumb, delusional mind that they would look over me like, oh. He's funny.

You're not saying a single word. They're like, you're the funniest. Oh, me? I'm just eating a bag. Yeah, that blue bottle. I'm just like you. Comedy genius. This is your watt pad.

In my head, I'm like, they're going to invite me to see with them. Yeah. They didn't even look at me. It's okay. This is his, like, One Direction fan fan. Right, right, 100%. Are you on Wattpad? Have anyone written any stories about this?

I hope so. Oh, what? Oh, well, we did collaborate on a little story when we post on Watt Pat about you. Yeah. Have you read it yet? No. Okay, I'll send it to you later.

Yeah, I did. I wrote a fan fiction. Yeah, when you were younger. No, I was too old. Oh, okay. How old? In college. Right.

And I... Is that the same thing as Smut? It was... I don't really know what Smut. I mean, it's adjacent. Smut applies more so to like... I think that's the same... like the books when you're checking out at like Walmart and there's like the funny like naked guy

yeah whereas like watt pod is like no no no I personally do sometimes okay but I think smut is more so like binded in a book and watt pot is strictly online but yeah but I always thought of smut it's just like erotica okay yeah well smut can be whatever you want I'm not whatever I'm not gatekeeping as long as it's bound no Walmart yeah as long as it's smut I'm good I'm good to go yeah I would classify the glee fan fiction that I read that was longer than the Harry Potter and Gobble the Fire as smut. We're just like really brushing off the fact that Brooks said she was too old to be writing fan fiction and you wrote one. What did you write it about? Yeah, can you tell you?

Yes, but I'm not giving you the title. It was and I wrote it with my friend. No, it was a crime novel about do you always watch Criminal Minds? No. Dr. Spencer Reed. That's Matthew Gregoobbler. Yeah. He was just like the hot FBI agent. He's perfect. He's so perfect. and so smart and just can't say enough. You guys have a type. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, yeah, we overlap.

And I wrote, me and my friend co-wrote a piece on him, basically, him being your therapist, and then he can't be your therapist anymore because he has feelings for you. So it's a complex of interest. That must have been hard. So, yeah, that must have been hard. Then jump five years later into the future, you're both on the same force at the FBI. Wow. Forbidden love.

What are you supposed to do with? That's a conflict of interest in a big way. That's HR issues. It's all about fan fiction is all about the tension and I had it in two really good parts. Unfortunately, I only released the first chapter. Can you give us like a line of what Matthew said to you? No, I can't. Unfortunately.

I can offline that to you. But I think I would need to be like heavily drug to share. Have you read it since? I read it. I read it recently. Oh. And what did the writing stand up? Were you proud of it?

No. Okay. Yeah. That's fine. There's always, I do like that plot line, though, of Dr. Spencer Reed being your psychologist and then he's in love with you. So it's a complex of interest. And then you go your separate ways and then five years later, you're on the same force. No, I love that. I think that is something to work with the way I wrote it. I also had no idea. I didn't do my background research. So in terms of psychology and also sex. So I have no idea what I was talking. Yeah. Well, we do research. You're doing research right now. Yeah. I'm so sorry. I just remembered some other thing that I used to do when we lived in Commonern 2.0.

What? Where you guys were, you guys said that you didn't know where I was a lot of the times? You know that I would walk to Petco and look at the frogs. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, but I would do it a lot. I mean, for three months, we were like, we're gonna buy a pet frog and no one ever bought. I know. Well, there was a name for this frog. You had like a whole backstory. Shoot, we did.

Yeah. I forget. They did like an attachment. But they didn't have the frogs we wanted. No. And they didn't have the frogs we wanted. And I was driving and calling every location every day to try to find an applicable frog.

And I couldn't find one. And it was troubling and it was hard. But I just wanted to flag that because I couldn't figure out where I was for all those hours during the day. And it was because I would walk from Petco to Petco to find a good frog. I believe we got an email for questions about the common room. Yeah. Yes. And I want to like, I almost forgot to talk about it because I think it's important.

I think it'll open up a can of worms that we may want to. Right. We may want to dive into this kind of worm. Yeah. Juicy stuff. We have an email from Emma. Thank you, Emma, for emailing. It's Dear B and C at gmail.com.

She wants to hear about the juicy drama that can ensue in a content house. Who butted heads the most? Did you fight often? Give the people the juice. Should we ask everyone who, their opinion on the matter? Let's all go around. Yeah. Connor, would you like to start?

I don't remember any actual beef. But I could have, because it could have been about. me, I guess. Jack, what do you think? That's pretty much my take. Yeah. I definitely know that people didn't love my, my smoothie loud shitting. That was, yeah, that was a combo.

No, what? What could you have gotten that from? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I thought maybe you liked it. I think the problem was you weren't having any of the smoothie. Oh, that would have changed. You could have sucked it out of your bed sheets when you spilled that way. Yeah, you could have sucked it out of there.

Miss opportunity on my end. I take full responsibility. It's okay. you know, bygone. Love when you learn. Who about it heads the most? I mean, Brooke and Connor maybe a little bit. I mean, I do think at one point this podcast was about to be named Brooke versus Connor.

I remember being Matt. I believe it was. Yeah, and that makes sense. It was all out of love. True. Well, I think we fought so much because we were close. Right, of course. Not so much.

We didn't fight so much. But I remember the two times. The first time was the chewing. Yeah. The chewing is. when Connor told me. Which you've gotten really good about that. No, I haven't.

Oh, never mind. He hasn't. I think I've gotten worse. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's all. What was the chewing? He told me, he looked at me. I was eating in the kitchen and he looks at me and goes, really?

Well, I was sending emails and she was just kind of munching away at God knows what. And then he told me if I wanted to chew like that, which was just, again, chewing eating my food, to go into my room. No, I didn't tell you to go to your room. Yes, you did. Brooke, you can live in this reality that you made up yourself, but that's not true. You told me to not do it in the shared space. Which was the kitchen. In his defense, your bedroom was basically in the kitchen, so it was the same thing.

No, this was the first hell. Oh, right. Well, I mean, being in private, you're going to munch like that. You stormed off, and you've talked about this true, too. You stormed off because you were upset, and I said, I just wouldn't want you to go out and do that with anyone else besides me. I wouldn't want anyone else to watch and hear you eat. No, I mean, say you're like. Are you? Yeah.

I don't know if we are. I'm saying, and this isn't specifically about your. I hear that again, and I'm like, yeah, that's still. Okay. Well, I have misophonia. So you're absolutely being ableist. You're being ablest. This is a disease that I have.

And I have feeling. Okay, well. Come on. We're not going to see eye to eye. If someone is chewing, not you specifically out loud with her mouth open. My mouth wasn't open. Anyway, you guys can see what. Okay. Her mouth wasn't open and I'm a huge fat liar.

Next episode, Brooke. You're accusing. Next episode, we should just get Brooks to eat on camera. I think they asked this question that we're picturing settled beef. And this is not settled beef. Oh, okay. We did open. up a can of spicy hot worms.

This is more active than ever. Yeah. You guys are so heated about the mushroom. That one's still wrong. My answer is that Brooke and Connor butted heads most, but again. Where did you get that from? That's going to be my answer now.

I'm genuinely sweating from that. From that. There's glistening on your face. Why? Because you feel like you're wrong? Yeah, because I feel like you're so wrong. Really? I know. You're telling her not to eat.

I know firmly. All right. I know firmly. Remember earlier that I said I stand with Brooke. Yeah. I do. You stood with me when I said not. You shouldn't support all women.

I didn't say that. That's the only thing you've ever stood. Again, you're putting words in your mouth that is open while you chew. Easy. Ooh. I said, I stand with you because you, you said, you don't need to support all women. And then you were the first one to jump up and say, I stand with Brooke the first time you've ever stood with me. All right.

I stand with you a lot. And I sit with you a lot once a week on this podcast. And I'll continue to do that. Anyways, there was a second one. Anyway, you can email DERBNC at gmail.com. who do you think is right in the chewing situation? Yeah, I would like to do. You guys had a second beef that you did.

Yeah. Oh, that was when, this was when I stayed at your house for a bit, because when the door didn't lock and Connor came in at like 7 am was like, let's go, let's get up. And I was like, no, I want to sleep. And that wasn't an option. Yeah, Brooke did take a little. Hiatus.

Yeah. From the content house and was just like, I cannot be around those men. And so. Jack and I had, well, we had a night. And then woke up and, like, I was just. I remember my rooms in the kitchen. and it doesn't lock. So that means I'm blasting my ocean sounds

and it's still not loud enough to curb the people outside of my room and also the people that were coming into my room saying, oh God, sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here. Okay, well, devil's advocate. Yeah, please. You could have gotten a speaker for your ocean sounds. That's so true, Jack.

Yeah. I was doing my ocean sounds myself. I was like there, pshh. Still, nothing. Guess who? That's not going to stop. You? The Janal brothers.

They wanted to see your... The Janelle brothers and Bachelor Nation needed to be. Bachelor Nation wanted to see you, Brooke. So anyway, I'm up until 4 a.m. They're having like a little rendezvous outside of my door. I say whatever, boys will be boys. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything like whatever.

I don't want to be the bitch roommate. And then I wake up. I finally fall asleep at like 5.30. I had been in bed since 12 p.m. PST. Trying. AST. No.

A. A.m. A. A Australian. Brooke has been asleep since. 12 p.m. Atlantic Ocean Standard Khan on the East Coast. Finally go to bed at 5.30.

I wake up to Connor jumping on my bed. Okay, you know that's not true. I was belly dancing at the foot of the bed. And that's a friendly chest. And it was good. And there's a video of it. Yeah.

Yeah. I do think he's pretty good at belly dancing. I think you're forgetting this is a content house. Yeah. At first I tried it. I was like, Connor, please. Like, I just want to sleep. Like, please.

I was playing Signorita by Justin Tamerlake Which you know is one of my favorite songs Senorita And then I was just like Please please please And then I think I was like Get out!

And then you did get out And then I packed a little bag And then went to Sally Dars for like three days Jack and I went to brunch We did get out We had a reservation Right And Marmalade

Yeah I'd Marmaly It was awesome That was when I made my petition To abolish Yeah I'm Fuming Matt at Connor, I get an email from him, Dear Brooke. Pregn you'll sign this petition to abolish the American Girl Doll Cafe. The American Girl Doll store for using real human skin in their dolls.

It was a great bit. Yeah, and people signed it. Yeah, and then we realized I guess it's like slander. Oh, I got in so much trouble for creating a false petition about American Girl Doll Cafe. You'd be shocked that American Girl Doll fans are out for blood. And probably because they need more skin for their American Girl Doll dolls. dolls. They came for my throat.

You are a piece of shit for starting room. And I'm like, listen, I am like four mimoses deep. I don't really give a shit. It was so funny. If you can't acknowledge the humor and using real babies as American girl dolls, I don't know what to say to you. It's funny. You're not for comedy.

It's funny. A comedian's job is to lie and not do background research. Yeah. People that tell real stories. That's one of your quotes. Yeah, I know it. I know it. No, real stories aren't interesting. So you see how you missed out.

No. I don't think I missed out. I think I missed in by going to Saladars and doing crafts all day. Yeah. That's another thing we did in the second. We were doing our craft, which is comedy and out and about and being seen. Holding up a mirror to society. Yes, Jack.

You're so good at doing that too. I also want to flagged it that morning. I did post a video in my underwear kind of dead. dancing. I didn't even make it to bulge talk or whatever that website is that you're on. Bulge talk. Well, there has to be a visible bulge.

Visible bulge, you know. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay, so that is the story of common room. And the way it ended was that we never said anything. Yeah, it was a cat around. Yeah, we put an ad and then we never said anything. Jack went off to Australia.

I got my own apartment. Sally Dar had her apartment the whole time. Oh, plot twist. She never lived at Comptu. room. I don't know if we actually said that. That was all paid. I just finished school and then I summer passed and then I dropped out. She would just come every day all day. Jack went to Australia. You went back to your family's house in Orange County. For a couple months. And then I think we were all like, oh, like maybe we'll pick it up when

Jack comes back. That's why we're not saying goodbye. But it's still up and you never know. Like we haven't touched it now. Yeah, we could post something. This is sort of picking it up a little bit. Yeah. This is the closure maybe people wanted a little bit. I think this is not goodbye. Yeah, no, never. This is providing more of an update than Sam Levinson could ever dream of putting it before you. I love that full circle. Yeah, oh yeah. A full termine and will there, won't they?

Yeah. But, I mean, Emma, I know that that was like a lot of info. I think who but it has the most, I assume it was me and Brooke since we still have unsquashed beef. Definitively. Yeah. Yeah. And Jack got along perfectly. Sally Darr, something special about Sally Darra is that she literally, you don't take sides about anything ever.

She really doesn't. He's a fence. Someone could, I could, like, run, like, intentionally run over someone's family member. You'd be like, like, someone would be like, can you? She always goes, I hear you. Can you believe that Connor did that? And she'd be like, well, I mean, listen, like, he's under a lot of stress right now. Like, maybe his coping mechanism for stress is hitting someone's family member.

I try to understand both sides. But I will say I do always form an opinion. But you just don't share it? I don't share it. Or, yeah. Because I think, like, well, one thing that I feel like you always say you're like, I don't, I don't know how to form an opinion. I just like take whatever you tell me That's what I'm gonna believe

I think I have an opinion But I just don't I understand Both sides at the same time Yeah I always have an opinion It just changes every five seconds Right What other people say? Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah

My opinion stays the same I think I rarely don't have like a very polarizing opinion On stuff Rarely don't have Rarely don't have You don't have I'm struggling now to come in I often have

I often have a very polarizing opinion On every situation Well we should go back to the old common rooms at some point and just rent them out. Yeah. And just like, just hang out. No, that's a really good idea. I'm banned from Airbnb.

Right. Yeah. So one of us will just use the app. And all of its subsidiaries as well, which sucks. How many subsidiaries do you have? Yeah, what is that? No, no, maybe you wanted to. Okay.

That's fine. I'm not totally clear on the umbrella of Airbnb companies or who they're umbrellaed by. Right. One thing I am sure of, Rihanna's pregnant. Speaking of umbrellas. Wow. She stole the show at the table.

Dior show. She looks good. She looks good. Do you want? I was just going to ask you guys if you're ready for some hot takes. Oh yeah? People wrote in the hot takes this week. Sally Dar, I think you brought a hot take to us today, which I'm really excited to hear. Yeah, well, I'm kind of nervous.

I said it one time on the internet and people were like mad. This was like a, I think it either was like a really, really old TikTok or like an Instagram story and people were like, I don't believe you. Have I heard it before? Maybe, maybe not. I don't think so. That's before we met. We'll save that one for last, the best one for last.

we got some via email. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready. First hot take that we got, a good teacher cannot be hot. Let's discuss. Let's unpack that.

And I want to start that by saying I was a teacher. Kelsey Crepple of Crepple Industries, the most gorgeous woman I know, teacher. Mm-hmm. I mean, I have many hot teachers. And basically, if I agree with this take, it's a personal insult to you is what you're saying. Well, you were never taught by her.

So I don't, I think like with your profession, it's like, the only people that can speak to your attractiveness plus are my preschoolers. Okay. And they're not here. So they're not here. We can talk about a teacher experience you've had where someone is. I have to say really quick before we start that I had a conversation last night with somebody who said when someone is a profession that I'm working with kind of like how like people are like, oh, a man in uniform. Yeah. It always ups.

Yeah. I know 100%. The person, this is not. Well, we share all the same. barber, but like when someone's cutting your hair. That's one thing that we should discuss. Why do we do that? Everyone gets their hair.

It doesn't make any sense. I went yesterday. When someone's cutting your hair, it's kind of like an experience. Like, that's your barber. What are you saying about Dan right now? Well, I don't want to talk. I don't, I know. Is this take about Dan?

Do we think Dan? Dan needs to be on the podcast. I agree. Or like when someone is like the chef at like a restaurant you always go to or like, you know what I'm saying. Or like a server. They have the power. They have the power. They're the authority figure.

Yeah, they're the expert in their specific field. Yeah. So I think in that sense, like, is it professional for a teacher to bang a student? No, not always. How'd you get there? Well, because. Yeah, that was a total pivot. You could be a good teacher, but that would make you a bad teacher.

You could be a hot teacher that doesn't bang their student. Well, I don't know. Well, I guess you could. And that's a point that I didn't say. Not crossing your mind. Everyone should say, like, did anyone have everyone have a cross- on a certain teacher? Yeah, of course.

Okay, would everyone like to share their teacher crushes? Mine was my softball coach. Right. I was actually really good at softball. Didn't you see someone that reminded, what was the name? Don't you remember there was someone that you look like Mr. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Jack Phillips looks like my softball coach.

Ooh. But he, I was actually pretty good at softball and was going to be on varsity. I had been on JV freshman year, junior year, freshman year, junior year and senior year was going to be on varsity. And then my softball coach, I'm not going to say same, my softball coach, who was like in his 20s, recent graduate from my school, decided to coach intermural C-team softball. And I said, see you guys. I'm heading down a C-team. I'm suddenly really bad.

And then I played, I did that for the whole season. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you've got to follow your heart in your head. Yeah. You do anything for love. Yeah. Did you guys end up together?

Mm-hmm. Yes. So he'll be going to jail as soon as his airs. No, he won't. No? How old are you? 18. Oh, no, we didn't.

You're lying. We didn't end up together, unfortunately. But I will say I was giving this a lot of thought, and this is either going to be the dumbest thing I ever say in my life or the smartest. And it could go either way, and I want you to hold me accountable. I think it's a fact, science-wise and just research-wise. Hot people get more opportunities in life. Yeah, duh. That is a fact.

Duh. So if you're a hot person that has all these opportunities in front of you and you choose to be a teacher, which is something that has low reward, low return, you're not getting paid a lot. You are truly passionate and good at what you do for the most part. Wow. Is that smart? Yeah. I love enough. Yeah. I love that. Because you could do a lot of things with a hot body and a hot mind. Trust me. And you chose to be a teacher. You must really care. Yeah. Thank you. Love that. Jack, you should be a teacher. Should I? Yeah. Because... Care about people.

Yeah. If you're a good person, you'd be a teacher. Right. Not actor. Well, that's a big if. Yeah. That's a big if. I mean, I can't think of any hot teacher I had where I didn't have a better opinion of them because they're hot.

Okay, but can you tell us about your teacher crash? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My seventh grade gym teacher, I remember her name and I'm not going to say it. She was just maybe the hottest person on the planet. Really? It was, like, so insane.

But, I mean, she was doing gym class with middle school boys. so she left the school after like a year. Oh my God, that must be hard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For her. Right.

Yeah. That's lethal. Not because of me. No, you wouldn't do with it. No. There's one that comes to mind who objectively like, it's hard to say. Like, I don't think like objectively she was like, like, I think it's more of like her being my teacher, like what I was saying.

It's like probably a psychological thing. But she was my friend's mom. Oh. And also my teacher. Yeah. Wow. That's a double. So I think that that probably had something to do with it, but I don't, I can't break it down.

But I think that that was probably. Is the friend's mom thing, like also a plus on top of? I don't, I don't know. I mean, the fact that, like, you were like, think of a teacher you had a crush on. I was like this one. And I'm like, why did I do that? Everyone has. I think that that's a universal truth.

If you can't immediately name, like, who's the, then you didn't go to high school. It's crazy because I didn't think I was going to have one. And then I literally, you know, everyone has one. Everyone has one. I think then you're, you're. you would be like, okay, who was physically like the hottest teacher I had instead of being like, I had this like weird attraction, not like weird, but like I had this attraction that was magnetic to this teacher for some reason.

Right. Yeah, I think mine's a combination. I had a crush on my history teacher in high school. And what was hard is that I went to boarding school. So you like lived with the teachers. And so he was around all the time. Whoa. Like so I saw him at breakfast.

I saw him at lunch. I saw him during F period or whatever. I saw him for dinner. I saw him with his children. How startling is that a teacher off hours? I mean, it's like weird, but also normal at the time. It's like, oh, yeah, there's just my teacher. Like having dinner with his family.

I feel like seeing him after dinner with his kids isn't really part of the curriculum. Oh, yeah. Probably. Well, it was important for me as, again, a visual learner to see a man with his children. You're getting a 360 view. And I would go spend the night at my friend's house whose mom would be living there. Right. And that was also something that played into it.

I liked my history teacher because I was very bad at U.S. history. and he would ask me the same question because you knew I knew the answer. So he'd be like, okay, like, what was like the kind of financial system that like France like did? And I'd be like, lazai fair or like whatever lazai fair. Did you say it like that? Yeah, he would ask me, he'd be like Sally Dar.

Like, what's the answer? And I would just the whole, for the entire year, the only time I spoke up is when I said laissez fair. Nice. Wow. That's a good, that's a good technique. Yeah, that was I'm safe for. That's a good character, Arch.

Babe, laissez-faire. Literally, babe. Lose Pair, Lose Pair, L'A Faire. We did not age in any. And if kids were there, which is the crazy part. There was no extracurriculars between me and my three teacher. No one in this studio engaged in extracurriculars. You did list a lot of things that you did with the teacher that I don't feel like are part of boarding school.

Like what? You're like, oh, you see him in class. You see him at dinner. You see him at night. You see him in the dorms. You see him naked. You see him making you dinner and breakfast in the morning.

You see the text that he's sending you. You see him on trips that you take to an island. You don't ever tell anybody about. You see him behind bars because you're- You see his wife from his closet because you're hiding because she came home early. Yeah, yeah. It's just a thing you do.

It's just part of boarding school. That's what I went. It is. It is. Inclusion. Teachers can be hot. Good teachers. And your hot take is wrong.

A good teacher can be hot. And in some ways, and I think it's been proven time and time again in literature and film. Sometimes it increases. I'm starting to think a good teacher has to be hot. To the brain. Yeah. Oh, Jack, I wouldn't. I don't know.

Hey, I've had plenty of really good. I'm so in on this take. I had a bunch of fugly, brilliant teachers. That are great. I don't know. I just got so fired up from this conversation. You went the other way in. The other way.

Yeah. You're all lame. An ugly teacher. You went so... You went so... Is a shitty teacher. That's what you're saying. Get out of my classroom.

You weren't so right. You ended up being less. I cannot learn about calculus with your face here. Right. Put a bag on it. Okay. So can you like get a haircut and come back? Dan?

Yeah. I don't understand derivatives with that bowl cut. No teacher has a bowl cut. Ugh. Yeah. No, a good teacher can be hot. Can be hot or fugly. So number three.

two of these hot takes sent in. The number two slot, and this is just like, even for me, it's a crazy take. Yeah. The number two says, Timothy Chalamee is just normal looking. Now, I want to start here because I know you guys have opinions. Timothy Chalemay looks like an old, haunted

like painting. That's not normal, though. If you agree with this opinion, if you clearly have strong... It has to be for the bit because it's so fucking ridiculous. Who looks like that? No, yeah. He looks... But I think, here's my question.

Are we saying normal in terms of like not unique? Are we saying normal in terms of like he's not attracted? That's how I'm perceived. He's a very unique looking man. We can't argue that. If I was at a, if I was at that gas station next to Barney's Beinerie in West Hollywood and I'm checking out and I turn around he's behind me, I'm going, like, I'm like gasping. Right. But I'm not like out of like a nightmare for Christmas.

Not normal looking then. No. Not by any means. Obviously I think he's like gorgeous. Well I think. But even if you think he's butt ugly still. Yeah. He looks haunted and he looks like he looks like he needs.

needs a snack. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he looked at, yeah, that boy needs a snack. Yeah.

Like, that's me after my magic spoon in common room. This boy needs magic spoon that's finished a candle. That's Jack, that's jack staring eye to eye with his cod.

That boy needs some cod. He needs, he needs a Celsius, he needs some creatine and he needs some cod. This is me trying to convince myself to choke down one more piece of cup. No, he,

it just, this is like what I look like when I've woken out from like a three-day bender. This is like me walking into Brooks room like, I'm sorry for yesterday. It's just like He looks like an echoey room

Yeah Yeah If he was a hollow That's what I meant to say I got you Great cheekbones Yeah no awesome Awesome cheekbones

Oh you know who he looks like He looks like his name could also be Edgar Allan Poe Uh huh Yeah right He's probably related to him I really come to think of it I think that that person who wrote in the hot take

Would be the only one to look at him And be like Yeah I've seen him He's normal looking Yeah like where does she go to high Whoever wrote that in, where do you go to high school? And I'd like to go to college because sign me up. He's normal looking in the sense of like I hang out behind a 7-Eleven all the time.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. I love you to get me. I mean, no, I mean, we're not saying he's not a great actor. Yeah, I just want to emphasize that. Should he be watching? Huge fan.

Yeah, huge fan. We love your sister on sex ice. Oh my God. Yeah, she was really good. Love you, Paul. Yeah, she was. Sally, do you have a hot take? Yeah, and I'm like nervous, though.

It's not going to be that great. No, it is. Okay. My hot take is that I think everyone loves mayonnaise. They just don't think that they do. I love mayonnaise. Oh, I agree with that. I can say as someone who used to hate mayonnaise and whose mom, like, because she took it so personally that I was doing it because I was being oppositional.

And not because I didn't like the taste, which is like the taste itself, like I'm not going to eat it. Yeah. I could eat a spoonful of ketchup. I can eat a spoonful of barbecue sauce. Okay, that's a hot take. That's funny. I'm saying, I'm saying I could do it. That's the craziest thing ever heard of my life.

Show us. Does anyone have ketchup? I couldn't take a spoonful of mayonnaise now that I like it and take a bite of it. Well, that's a texture. There is no condiment. I'd want to just eat spoonfuls of.

That's worse than the cod. Mustard would be the most easiest one, perhaps. Mustard. I would do ketchup before mustard. That's a question. I don't like mustard. Would you do a spoonful of ketchup or mustard? Mustard.

Catch up. I do mustard. I would do ketchup as well. But what I want to say is. Mustard has zero calories. My mom. My mom. Mustard is zero calories.

Are you switching teams? Yeah, because we're cutting. My mom used to put it on my sandwiches, and then after I was done, she'd be like, there was mayonnaise on that, by the way, and I was like, I hate you, why didn't do that? Because I literally didn't want to eat manage. It was about me, but no, manages is dope, kind of.

But every kid has, like, a food like that. Every person, every child mostly, but every person goes through a phase where they're like, no, fuck it, I don't like mayonnaise. And then you always come back to it. You always come back. You always come back. And I'm saying that once you go mayo, you can't go back.

I'm saying that as someone who's played for both themes. Yeah, no, I used to also not get mayonnaise as a child. And I was like, oh, it's gross. I don't need it. It doesn't do anything. It doesn't add anything. Wrong. I agree that the most die-hard mayo hater would eat a sandwich not knowing there's mayo in there

and not think twice about it. Yep. Yeah. They just wouldn't know. Well, it was sushi that did this. Oh. Because they have spicy mayo and like forms of. mayo and now it's cool

mayo is cool also mayonnaise is in so many things yeah like you're eating mayonnaise half half of the time I have I have oh shit oh no yeah thank God

okay I didn't say I wanted to do this I'm not doing the mustard I'll do mustard I mean I'll do the mustard so you're doing ketchup so yeah I don't mind I'm still at a nauseous place because I've been talking about the cod

for so long to give audio only listeners Audio-only listeners, we've now been brought a plate with four spoons and a pile of ketchup and a pile of mustard, which will now be ingested. Oh, and it is yellow mustard. It is not my favorite gray Poupon. I like a more coarse gray Poupon. That is a very watery mustard if the camera can get that. That is wet. That is wet. I'm sorry we didn't have that for you guys today. It's sopping. The mustard is more watery than the ketchup, whereas I feel like it's normally. Oh, you're going for. Oh, Jack, that. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are we not?

Leave them for the rest of us, body. I want to describe what just happened for the audio. I thought we were eating spoonfuls of this. We've all four been dogging the whole time for like 30 seconds because I think it's a little bit of a panic state. But we do need to flag for the audio only listeners that we're all working on talking, passing the talking stick. Mm-hmm. That was for the audio only listeners is Jack just went in so hard and put all of the mustard on his. He was like, oh, God.

And then... And Brooke is now about to do... This should be an ASMR. We said a spoonful, and I got a spoonful. There's also a lot of mustard left. That is so fucking disgusting, Connor. You left me all the fucking watery ass mustard. Well, you should have me on mirrors then.

Don't be... Come here, bro. Come here, bro, big talk. Come have your... I don't have your breakfast. Can you like... Oh, it's so hard to get onto the spoon. You would never think that.

You're like putting it on the side of it. I know, well, I don't have a ton of experience. You're having trouble using a spoon. You would take that. I'm going to feed you it to you. Okay, cheers. Oh, cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. I don't like mustard, though. Oh, get in there. Oh, she cleaned that. I mean. Oh. I actually liked it. Really?

Yeah. Brooke is easy to go down. Brooke, how was it? Do you like him? Are you having an easy time swallowing at all? Then let me just give you some liquid death. Okay. Well, it's your turn.

I mean, you seem like you're doing just fine. I actually sort of. You know what? You know what? You know what? Just to get in here because I, oh, you're doing both? I'm playing for both teams here. Jesus Christ.

You guys have left me all the fucking water ass shit. Get in Sally dark. Oh, how was that, Connor? For our audio listeners, Connor just put all of it, water included in his mouth. Any water left? Oh, no.

There's an aftertaste that's hitting me. Well, and I would just like to. That's vomit-inducing. I wanted to sort of like put on a face there, but that was horrible. Yeah, Sally Darm, having a hard time looking at that right now. It was fine. Ew, but I have no choice but to get some ketchup

and I didn't even want to do the cat. I'm gagging. a little bit. I am having a hard time. You look like you're about it on. No, I'm okay. Why? So it's something I discover. Whoa, you're going to drop it. Something that I discovered is that this does induce bowel movements very quickly.

Right. It could be. Maybe that was the whole problem. How is it, Saladar? Oh, she's Oh, I thought that was going to be projectile. Yeah, that was a little bit of a wet one. Okay, I'm good. Oh, wow. She's like coming back up in the back. of my throat. So I'm just going to move directly forward because something happened. Saladar's crying and like this is ending. Are you crying? I'm okay. I'm okay. No, I'm good. Hey guys. I'm good. I'm good. I'm trying not to talk too much. I'm scared

about it. All I have on my stomach is some coffee. Yeah, me too. And ditto. And ditto. So it's ketchup, mustard, and coffee, black coffee. I have a question really quick and then I think we should probably start letting everybody go home. Okay. Yeah. Um, so I posted my story the other day that I brushed my teeth in the shower. Okay. And I got like a bunch of people that were like, what? Ew. Why is that gross to anyone? I'm conserving water. I'm in there and I really like being in the shower. It's kind of like a human car wash, especially if you're not like the whole time bathing. You're just kind of enjoying it, like a standing up hot tub. And my my crew here for audio only is all visibly having trouble holding back whatever's happening.

in their stomach. Everyone is drinking my water. I'm shaking. Well, yours is the only one with liquid in it. I didn't expect that to be the experience that it was. I was trying to change a subject so hard, but if you guys... No, no, no, I want to hear it. You know what? You know what? You brushing your teeth in the shower, you know what it reminds me of? A 12 year old girl who read about it online somewhere, saw it in a book and is like, you know what? This is going to be kind of a cute, quirky thing to do. And then at sleepovers, everybody's like, oh, wow, she's unique. You do a lot of, like, rom-com meet cute stuff. Like what else?

Like eating the baguette and hoping Will Ferrell notices you Like brushing your teeth in the shower Like sitting on the bench And like looking into the sky You know? I have a lot of time alone Yeah

I think that it's primarily gross Because the shower water's hot And you're brushing your teeth With hot water Don't you like to brush your teeth With cold water? You don't put like a little bit of water In your mouth when you're in the shower?

I don't brush my teeth With said water Well but you do shower beers I'm discovering a lot about myself here I do do shower beers. I actually have a Yeti cooler in my shower to sit on because I don't have a binge in my shower. So I sit there.

I do anything I want to. I get a beer out of my Yeti cooler. I brush my teeth. Here's a question. Yeah. Do you think you have sensitive teeth? Like, just cold water. Like, do you like ice water?

Do you like room temperature water? I don't put ice in my water. There you go. I do have sensitive teeth too. Oh. Can I say this? Hot take. People that are sensitive to ice water,

and Jack is saying that he's going to throw up. Ice what I would just sidebar jackson just whispered to me That he is going to throw up Okay I'm still on the mustard I'm sorry that was like so crazy If you throw up I'm gonna definitely throw up That'd be a great way to end an episode I'm just saying Oh, stop burp

Imagine an audio only Could you hear my burp when I did that? Yes Oh sorry audio only People that have like the worst ASMR ever Just gagging into the mic People that have sensitive teeth and don't like ice cold water,

maybe more likely to brush their teeth in the shower. They like the warm water. I am so lost on the teeth sensitivity thing. Okay, guys. I can't look at Jack because he's making me want to be sick. On account of everyone being extremely nauseous, I think we're going to wrap up this episode. Thank you so much for listening.

Jack and Sally Dar, thank you guys so much for coming on. Oh, and thank you for having me. It was the time of my life. I would do it all over again. Two weeks in a row. Catch up. Catch up mustard.

Guys, where can everybody find you really quick? Oh, on TikTok, I'm Jack Martin. On Instagram, I'm real Jack Martin. There's no other. There's no other. There's no other. No fakes. And on NBC's Libreia.

And on NBC's, February. True. Yeah. Season two. Yeah. TikTok and Instagram, I am Saladar Griffin. Letterbox for all my film bros. Sally Dar.

Twitter. Sally Darry. Saladar Griffin art for knitwear. And you're a Snapchat queen too. And Snapchat. I'm at Sally Dar. And YouTube, Sally Der Griffin. Yeah.

And if you want to. to watch sallidar made these amazing vlogs of our time in common room if you want to go watch your youtube videos you want to see the gooey knife the um molded pita bread if you want to see both houses both houses um yeah jack getting the roll yeah yeah brook me and conner fighting yep yeah i was gonna say brook in fighting okay guys thank you so much for listening uh smash that motherfucker subscribe button like comment email us follow us on everything, B&C, MAP, and I love you. And ditto.

Goodbye. See you next week. Bye. Bye.