Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - Loving Is Living

Episode Date: March 19, 2026

Come see BNC live! https://linktr.ee/bnclive  Pre-order Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It: https://sites.prh.com/phoebe-bermans-gonna-lose-it SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl  Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr This week, Brooke and Connor talk about wearing speedos and swim caps, Ethan Hawke’s life changing quote, and Nicole Kidman’s obsession with tweedy bird. Plus, Connor is spitting potato famine facts and Brooke feels existential.   Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/  Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbilt.com/bnc  You can try Everand completely FREE and get 1 audiobook or ebook during your 30-day free trial - no risk to try it; cancel anytime. Get started today at Everand.com  Get 40% off select Lola Blankets products at Lolablankets.com by using code BNC at checkout. Experience the world’s #1 blanket with Lola Blankets. Shop my favorite bras and underwear at http://www.skims.com/bnc  #skimspartner Ready to quit for good? Go to quitwithjones.com/BNC to start your personalized quitting journey and get 15% off with code BNC. Our listeners get 15% off plus free shipping when they buy two or more pairs of prescription glasses at WarbyParker.com/BNC  — using our link helps support the show. #WarbyParker #ad B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 00:00 Reading  05:48 Hydro Flask Weapons 07:15 Feeling Existential  09:49 Hair Care 12:04 We are in a War 16:40 Computer Relationships 18:44 Everand  19:51 Lola Blankets 21:29 Ethan Hawke is a Lover 24:22 Happy St. Patricks  25:48 The Potato Famine 28:34 Volcano of 1812 33:15 Gyms 35:12 Skims 36:15 Quit with Jones 38:08 Warby Parker 39:52 Italian Spa Day 44:28 Eating Eggs  46:06 The Oscars 48:45 Timothee Chalamet 53:50 Nicole Kidman x Tweety Bird  58:18 White Lotus Picks 1:01:44 Rooster & Age of Attraction 1:07:12 See You in Bonus!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SpongeBob, why? Morning. What? Good morning. Good morning to you. Welcome back to Brooke and Connor. Welcome back. It's good to see you. What can we get started for you?

Could I maybe read you a passage out of... Yeah, let's start. I think that'd be a good way to start. Which I've been revisiting. Yeah. I trust you're having a better day this week. That was it. His deep groan brought her back to the present.

His solid, heavy thrust against the padded... Did you swap it out for milking farm under there? Nice one. That's a movie magic. Oh, I love it. Oh, God. You know I've started that. right you know i'm eight pages in you're eight pages in oh my gosh she's just she's just beginning her

career she started at the farm yeah she does not she she knows not what she's done i'm like i'm really excited for you to give us some updates and i am going to read it i am now crescent city just got good at 450 pages in so i'm locked i'm now locked into that and so it should speed by now the rest of the other 450 pages should speed right by. It's a 900 page book. I think it's actually 800. It got good at like 60% in, maybe 55. To me, it's just like wrap it up, you know?

It's hard because with fantasy books, it's like you do have to put in the work, unfortunately, to receive the payoff. Like it does take that amount of like world building to then have a really like satisfying story most of the time. The popular sentiment is just like just get right to it. But I'm not sure that you really can with a good fantasy book. That's why you really have to be like in the zone for one of those. It's just very impressive to me that you're able to give it that sort of dedication. It's just like when you know that it's going to get good, it's something to look forward to. How can you know? Because I trust. I trust. I trust.

S. J.M. With my life. You trust her gut? Oh, I trust her with my gut. There's no part of you that's like, this girl has me wrapped around her finger. She does, but like she's earned it with her pros. Really feel that way. My feelings would be hurt if she had my fat ass sitting there reading 450 pages with blue

balls. Let me clarify. The first 450 pages are not bad by any means. They're just like taking me somewhere. They're not like hitting me. They're not like punching me yet. They're edging me. Yeah, I guess you could say edging.

I guess you could bring blue balls into the conversation. I mean, there's no other way to put it. Yeah, I guess you're right. Mm-mm-mm. How long has that taken you 450 pages? Longer than I would prefer. I will say they zoom by her books. Like I should be done in like a day or two with the remaining 400 now that I'm sucked.

but it has taken me like three weeks to get to this point but like with the one of hers is like 900 plus I think it's actually a thousand one at first and it took me two days because it's like it was it was already like the eighth book in the series and I was already there you know so once you're in you're in and you zoom 900 pages is so it's big tech like it's not small text and it's not dense once you get into the world I'm simply not an author, but this is just like, it doesn't compute for me. That's why I'm so happy there's different kinds of people. Exactly.

Different kinds of people, different kinds of authors, different kinds of books. As we discussed in the bonus last week, reading is subjective. And I can't stress that enough. You're not going to like every book, and that's totally fine. Thank you. I have a lot of respect for Sarah J. Mass as a person, but I wanted to throw up when I read two pages of that first book that I picked up. Akatar? Yeah.

What made you want to throw up? It was bad. Oh, interesting. To me. Well, you know, Akatar is really just the means to book to. I am not willing to do that. That's what I'm saying. And Connor, that's fine.

You don't have to. If Sarah J. Mass knocked on my door and said, would you like to get a coffee? I'd say, yes. Oh, my God, you're Sarah J. Mass? I have so much utter, just like, profound respect for you in your world building and your pros. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, she's not bound to the glue.

It's like going to hold pages together. And it's very strong glue to hold 900 pages together. Yeah, but it's not strong enough to do. She's going to do a thousand plus for the story that she has next. And so she's not going to put it into just one physical book. She's going to spread that shit out like butter. She should. Yeah.

Because 900 pages is too big. I can't even bring that in a carry on. She's going to. It would be nice. Like, you know, when I was. I'm on a plane and I'm like, oh, I'm glad I filled up my hydroflask because if someone goes rogue, I'm going to hit them over the head with my headroflask. Knock, knock.

Who's there? Hydroflask. Just hit you over my head with the hydroflask? Hydroflask. Yup. Nice. Yeah. I mean, like, that's what I miss about the hydrophasas is they have that little handle.

My, my, uh, Wadwala does not have that. Mine does. But it's like a little hand. It's like a two finger handle. I can hit someone over the head with this like Pretty damn easily I mean if you threw that If you threw your water bottle at someone's head

They're going down You don't or they're at least gonna be faltered Yeah They're dropping their weapon Yeah You know Anything can be a weapon if you try hard enough I'm just saying this 900 page book

That's a brick Yeah it is the one I'm speaking of Is paperback Paperback paper back paper back I want my paperback I didn't take mucinex today, but I do feel funky. Something came out of my throat. And let's just say thank God for that.

Because if it didn't before this episode, this episode would have been really challenging. Like, you did take mucinex type beat? No, it was just a natural birth. Complete natural birth, no drugs. Good. I've been feeling so existential recently. Like I was just looking at,

the scar on my ankle that I got when I was five. And it's just like the same scar and the same body of the same girl. Yeah. What's your scar from? I was on a bike down a hill and then slammed into a mailbox. And then the wood post sliced my ankle open. And I knocked the whole mailbox down. You knocked the mailbox sound?

I've not seen it. I've not seen a freestanding mailbox in my entire life, by the way. I didn't think that those were. What do you mean? Like our mailbox was in a big box, our thing with other, like our neighborhoods was just like. Oh, really?

In a big, yeah, like you go pick up your mail. Oh, this was just like a classic mailbox with the wooden post and a tin head. Not anymore. Wow. Not on the ground. Yeah, no. RIP. Isn't it weird?

We have known each other for like six years and I wouldn't, like I never would have known about your scar from hitting the mail. box if we didn't have this podcast like when we're sitting next to each other like your scar wouldn't come up you know honestly like it might i've been thinking a lot about it but i see what you're saying i'm just saying thank god for the podcast so we can so we can get things like that off our chest yeah i have a scar on my ankle as well what's yours from and it's from the young man who i once was that's so scary i know i i obviously told everyone it was from a shark bite for a long time yeah i'm sure you did. Like so much so that I forget what it was. Wow. That happens to me too. Like I'll lie about something for so long that I forget what the truth is. And then the lie just becomes the

truth. And then I get confused. I'm like, am I lying? I have certain family members that operate under that belief completely, but it's like convicted. And I have a different memory of events than they do. Yeah. You know, I'm like, well, that's simply not what happened. But it's genuinely like my word versus theirs. Yeah. And there stands because they're not willing to budge. Yeah. Like isn't it weird?

Sorry. What were you saying? I'm feeling like this isn't our usual. I feel like, I feel like, you know, in Hollywood when they're like, they killed him and they brought in a different man.

Yeah, like Jim Carrey and Avrilavine. Remix. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like we're the remix today. Yeah? Well, it's probably just my haircut. It's your haircut? Yes. I like it.

Well, you can't, it's in a bun because I tried to do too much to it this morning and it just was a complete freaking disaster. But I got chopped like to my shoulders. My hair's really short. And I look 30. That's what I'll say about that. But maybe I'll reveal next week down. Reveal what? Oh, my hair.

Yeah, it's up right now. It looks good. I said it looked healthy this morning. Yeah, definitely. It feels great. Like, my hair was so long. It was like almost down to my belly button. I'm not exaggerating.

Do you know how I texted you guys last night? I said I looked like a massive grease ball on last week's episode. Yeah. I think I put lotion in my hair instead of my hair gel. Oh. Because it wasn't in my dop kit, which I just realized it's not doc kit. Someone was kind enough to let me know that for the past decade or so. And people keep yelling at me for correcting you.

I'm not correcting you. I agree that it's called that where you're from. I'm just saying I had never heard that from where I'm from. Toiletries is just so long. Toiletry bag? Toiletry bag? Yeah, it is. How much time do you have?

It is long. But it's just like I've never even knew it was called something else. Well, it was. What is this song that's Little Mama and Aver Levine remix? Little Mama. Yeah. Who's that? Little Mama.

Doesn't Lil Mama sing my lip gloss is popping? Yes. But there's another song that's Loh Mama and Aver Levine remix. Oh, girlfriend? Fabulous. We'll have to listen to that in the bonus. Yeah.

Dr. Luke. At camp, our like roll call was everyone had a word of the song lip gloss. So it'd be like, my lip gloss is popping. Like, and everyone had a word. Just so we were all like here. to check in.

What's the one that's... You don't have to love me. You don't even have to like me. But you will respect me. Yeah. Okay. I don't know. Let's shift gears.

Let's shift it into high gears. I'm fine shifting. What? I'm fine shifting. Well, my whole thing last week was... And I think I talked about it, the war. Yeah. I don't want to talk about the war.

Okay. But we are in one now. Oh, like on God. We got an alert. What? No, like when we were leaving here last week. Yes. That California was in danger of being drone-striked.

Just what's so crazy to me is like... I was not okay after that. Like, what's so crazy to me is like, yeah, I'm sitting there. And I'm like, my first thought was like, oh my God, of course. This would happen when the UV is. You know, I was like, it's such a nice day. They would do that. And I don't even know when I say day, like Iran.

Yeah. Iran, but now I'm on like conspiracy talk that like if anything happens, it's going to be from our government like pretending to be Iran, which like I'm in deep on. It's bad. I need to stop. But like. Don't worry. Wherever you are, I've been for a week.

Okay. Wherever you get to like I already know the conspiracy. But my whole thing was like, I'm in New York. that's my number one fear in New York. Anytime I'm in a group of people, I'm like, oh my gosh, like that's where my head goes. It's like, well.

And then I get to California and they're like, we're actually going to do it here this time. Yeah. And it's like, oh my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I don't, yeah, we don't even need to talk about it.

I just like, I just thought that that was an interesting decision and strategy. I thought I was going down. I was at the beach this weekend. Yeah. It was Connor gorgeous. UV 7, sun out, tits out. Yeah. Not mine, but probably

someone on the beach. Face down, ask up. It was gorgeous. I'm reading Crescent City. Hello, wolf shifters, like, hello, demons, like, hi, hi, I look up. A fog had rolled in out of nowhere. It was the most intense fog that you had ever seen in your life. And in that, moment I was like oh how convenient and in that moment I was like okay this is this fog is from the enemy yeah obscuring everything so that we don't see the drones that are attacking had to vacate the beach immediately 100% but I am I just want to say that psyching myself I like don't think they're going to drone strike four young women on the beach like I don't think that that would be there well here's

the thing I and we don't I don't want to even talk about this anymore in this space. face. But like, I don't know what they can do. We don't know. We don't know. I don't know what they can do. We don't know. That's the thing.

The powers that be, what can you do? No one knows. But you know what else, Brooke? At the same time, what can we do? Because the last thing I really have to go off of is Pearl Harbor, which I've been looking into a lot. Yeah.

And like, I don't think that's going to happen again. but what will? Like what will an attack look like? I don't know. And I don't want to say anything in this space. I don't want to conjure anything. So I was texting people that are smarter than me. That's what I like.

Which I love to do because it's always so fun to talk to the one person who like, I'm like, they have something to do. They know something. And it's always like my, yeah, my uncle's ex-wife, like works for the government. So like, I'm going to text him. Yeah. Yeah. And that's enough for me.

And please do. And I did. And they were like. I was like, I'm going to get drafted. They're like, well, you're too old to get drafted. So you're good. That's mean. No, that was mean.

I'm like, now I want to get drafted, you know, like, like me faking my, me getting a fake ID down. Yeah. And then they were like, we also like, but they did pass a bill to have like an automatic inscription. Like auto pay? I think, I do think, like you said, I do think that they are they are moving forward with the sexist and homophobic version. So you're safe.

too and like I'm actually we're both too old to get enlisted anyways but like 18 to 25 young woman no so as soon as you can rent a car 18 and 26

just male hello yeah yeah the thing is too when I asked my friend he said that we don't fight wars like that anymore like this is this is hearsay.

Now all the wars are going to be like on the computer. And computer. Thank you, computer. Yeah. And now we got, I mean, in real time, we're watching the computers

go from our friend to to our foe. To our foe. Yeah. Watching all those people that are like, I tell chat, GBT, thank you. Because I'm human. They're going to end up being right.

scary. Did you see the girl that's in a relationship with, did we watch that on my strange addiction last week? She's in a relationship with some sort of like AI, what's his name? It's like something really unique. It starts with an S. And he's like more of a Dom than you would expect.

Yes. Sinclair. Sinclair. So she has been in relationship with Sinclair for two years, despite the skepticism around it. And that is like, remember when we watched, what was that movie with Walking Phoenix, her? And we were all like, that's crazy. Like, that's happening.

Thank you, the black mirror. You're getting there, Brooke. Thank you. Anyway. Tattoo for her AI. Oh, what was her tattoo? Okay. Oh, it's huge.

Skinny. And it's on her chest. That's good. To whatever. What? To whatever end. That's from Throne of Glass. You can...

She's also like very hot, Sarah. Hey guys, you want to take a quick break to thank a sponsor today's episode, Everand. Everand is a reading subscription with millions of audiobooks and ebooks. Read what you want, how you want, across devices, and offline. Incorporating audiobooks into your day-to-day routine helps you read more and fit more books into your life. We know you already find time to listen to podcasts like this one. You definitely have time in your day to listen to more audiobooks. Everand is the sister app of Fable, where I host my book club,

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With what? Well, now, like, all I, the most I've talked today was about the war. And, like, I'm, I'm just, like, not fired up for Sarah and her AI boyfriend. That's fine. Do you want to hear something positive? Yeah. Yes. Something that Ethan Hawke said on the Oscars red carpet actually changed my life.

Okay. He said to Amelia of Chicken Shop. Izzy, would you mind pulling up whatever he said to, chicken chop. He was basically saying that the people that love the hardest are the winners. Because we are the sun. That's all I can say without a bit of an unrequited love theme in their life. The one who's in love always wins. Okay. Yeah. It doesn't matter if you get your heart broken. You're living. When you're feeling you're alive, you know, the sun doesn't care whether the grass appreciates its race, right? It just keeps on shining. That's you. I'm going to get that tattooed.

on my forehead, I think. We are the sun. We just got to keep on shining, man. Who cares if the grass doesn't appreciate it? We're living. I'm talking about the lovers. I just don't know if I agree with that. Well, you, I would say you're not necessarily sitting in my Kelly Clarkson.

Well, I'm just saying, well, I would say, too, as well, that the one who's in love always wins isn't true because you could be in love. Connor, just come on, man. That's exactly what he just said. I don't think that's true. It's completely freaking true because it has to be. Connor, let it. Let me have it. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Let me have it. You got to have this course. The one who's in love always wins when the one who's in love has a very, very stable mental. No. The sun is acknowledging. I don't care that you don't appreciate these rays that I'm giving you because I'm secure.

and myself as the sun. Yeah. But if you're so madly in love that it's making you sick. Well, he's kind of telling you change your mindset. So to take, I'm now taking on this mindset. Can you stop putting a lighter up against your chin like that? I love to hold things that are long like this. Like a wand I think I would do well with.

So what I'm saying is now that when your mindset flips to being like, hey, like loving means that I'm living right on. I'm the sun. Because feeling is good. Oh, it's amazing. It's living. Feeling is living. Yeah.

Feeling is living and it's the sun. That's true. And Brooke, pinch me. I must be dreaming. You need to be pinched to feel something to know you're living. Exactly. You know, I did a deep dive into the potato famine. Yeah.

Because of St. Patrick's. Happy St. Patrick's. Oh, happy St. Patrick's. What did you do to celebrate? I had the most amazing meal. Ooh. Yeah. What did you have?

I went to Leora. Have you heard of Leora? No, I'm not familiar. It's going viral on TikTok for, it's in the UTA office. I went with Rebecca. Beautiful. It has completely blown up because it is so good. They have these like kind of like ice creamy iced coffees and these really cool glasses

with a pop tab on it that you pop open like a soda. sure and yeah those and also an insane tune amount sure it is as good as everyone's saying it's kind of like Mediterranean but they also have a secret hand roll that's not on the menu and it is so incredible I had the tuna out some hand rolls a Chinese chicken salad tater tots I also had a pistachio coffee as well that I got to open like a soda it was freaking incredible so packed you can hardly get a reservation. It's incredible. Thanks. That's what I had for lunch on St. Patrick's Day.

Well, that's, I'm so, I'm so happy that you're able to celebrate in that way. And you had some potatoes. Yes. Exactly. Yes. Tell me about the potato famine. No, I don't know, I don't know anything about it. The only, the only fact that really struck me is that Irish workers were eating 12 to 15 pounds of potatoes a day.

that's like a dream to me but i bet the potatoes they were eating were not like fried tots it's a good question i don't know in in what format they were eating the potatoes but basically oh my gosh i'm not remembering any of the facts now that was the only thing that really stuck i hate when that happens and stuck with me i hate when that happens i do know that there was like five point something million irish people in ireland and a million died wow 20% for my math freaks that's a lot I wonder if there are any, like, good, like, historical fiction books about the potato famine. Like a Chris Nahanna type of beat. I have another fun fact about that.

What? Not about the Irish. Oh. Connor, maybe you could read Galway Bay. I love, I went to Galway Bay. I've physically gone there. Is that the same as Galway Girl by Ed Shearhan? Close.

Galway is like a... I don't know if they call them cities there. I can't remember, but it's like a town. It's the same. Galway? Yeah, I think. I would say so. What was he saying about his Galway girl?

And then I need to go to my fun fact because I think that you'll really like it. She met pretty little Galway girl. So she's pretty and she's little. Okay. She played the fiddle in an Irish band. But she fell in love with an English man. Kissed by the hand. When I met him the other day.

What? Months ago. Oh, oh yeah. Ed. We were watching this band, this Irish band that was all women. And they were so good and cool. I love that. And she was playing a fiddle.

I love that. And I think that he might have written it about her. Wait, but you were with him. Yeah. Not with him, but I was right next to him. Wait, where was this again? Um, I can't remember the name of the bar. It's like a bar.

It's like an Irish bar here. And he was just there or it was an event? He was there. Well, it was with Guinness. So it was like a closed little tiny. Yeah, well, it was like a concert series, but it was like 40 people. Okay. Just, but it wasn't like an edge here and meet and greet.

I didn't know he was going to be there. Right. It was so cool, though. And he was very sweet. I really would love to go to Ireland one day. I had such an amazing time. Yeah. So did you know there was a volcano in the Indonesia in the 1812 and it exploded and it covered the entire atmosphere of the entire world.

It was so big. It exploded. 1812. Did I? Yeah. Did I? Yeah. And no, it didn't.

What? What? What? What? up against volcanoes in 1812. Do you think they were invented later? No, I'm just saying like if that happened, like recently, like we would know if an volcano covered the entire atmosphere.

Brooke, we do know. That's why I'm telling you. I would know that. Like, that's not. Okay, yeah, in 1812, the volcano began to rumble and generated a dark cloud. And on April 5th, the giant eruption occurred, followed by thunderous detonation sounds. But it did not cover the entire atmosphere. You're talking about the eruption of Mount Tambora?

Yes. Tamora. There's no way it covered the entire atmosphere. It covered the entire atmosphere. And Brooke, the entire world for one year was covered in ash and dust so much so that it froze things. But everyone's like in England, all the crops died. Mary Shelley was so bored, she wrote, Frankenstein. thank you tamarindo

I feel like I would have heard about Mount Tambora if it affected like the parts of history that we learn about in school like so this is this is coming this is coming from me

okay you need to trust Papa on Mount Tambura Tempura Izzy can you Google did Mount the eruption of Mount Tambora affect the entire world cause world worldwide cooling

resulting in widespread crop failures, famine and disease across. Okay, it's just talking about Europe, Asia, and North America. That's the whole It's not the whole world. It's just three of the continents. The year without a summer.

Yeah. Someone else wrote something too that year. That's pretty big deal. Like, why aren't they teaching me about Mount Timbora in school? Because it has to come from us. It has to come from B and C. And everybody, if you learn about

Mantimpera just now, you need to drop a comment. Let us hear you roar. Let me know. Largest eruption, recording in history, because widespread climate chaos known as the year without a summer.

Damn. Like that, that I shouldn't, I should have, I should at least be familiar with the name. I agree. How did you come across this?

Well, I downloaded that app that I get ads for. That's the TikTok of history. Paladin. You know history is my worst subject. You know it's my favorite? Yeah, I do.

I love that shit. Huh. Well, you know what, Connor? My apologies for being such a skeptic. I'll take it. This happens once every blue moon. That's exactly why I know that we are impostors. Because I apologized?

No, because I got something right. And you're apologized. Like someone switched our bodies out. No, I feel like I'm always wrong. Hello? Who has the real Brooklyn Connor? Hi, I'm always wrong. No, I don't think so.

I think I'm pretty convicted when I come to you and I say, uh, let me tell you something. We Google it. I'm dead wrong. Like it's like the fact that I'm trying to prove to you is like completely made up based on nothing. Okay.

I can, I can see that. Because sometimes you have a feeling and it's like this, I feel, I feel this so hard. I feel so hard right now that, which is how I know I'm alive and that's such a blessing to be a lover. Exactly. But I, but I,

but I, the sun. It's like the sun and I don't care about it. I don't give a fuck about the grass. You're shaking. And I don't. Yeah. What do you mean? Good job not sucking that water down. Thank you. I've been like actually making a conscious effort not to suck as hard. You like really nailed that. Like I watched with eyes locked. Liked what you saw. Yeah, I did. I was really, I'm really impressed with your form. Thank you. And grow. I'm going to try to drink this whole water bottle. That would be Brooke. That would be very impressive. You would be impressed by that? I would be impressed. I'm going to try to do that. Oh my gosh. Speaking of form, I switched gyms and I went for the first time last night.

And there was so many like athletes that I walked my ass back to the back and I went rock climbing. That sounds so fun. I want to join a gym with a pool so badly. Yeah. But I'm not going new, which sucks. Why? It will be too far from me. I'm sure there's other pool gems. I just can't see my, like, I'm the least independent person in the world. So either it has to be like my local gym that is like so accessible that it's like almost like a disgrace that I don't go. Or it has to be something that I'm doing with someone else.

Why don't you join swim classes with someone? I don't need to take swim classes. You know I'm our hard, impeccable form. I forgot. whale. Yeah, I'm a whale. But I would need someone to go to the gym with me. I understand. I totally understand. I think I would have to wear a cap. I don't want to get my hair off Lorini. Or, you know what? I would do one of those like conditioners treatments. Did I tell the story about when I had to put a cap on in Italy? I don't know. Can you hold that dot? Because I can, I can see it right here. Because I obviously

haven't unpacked completely my suitcase from Italy. Hold on to the cap thought. Hang on. Just hang on. Yes, hang on. Well, while I'm hanging, I'll tell you that I was so obsessed with my cap when I was on the swim team that you guys know the hot tub in Florida that I read in. I was wearing my cap in there. I'm winter break and spring break.

I'm cap on in the hot tub with my speedo. Hey guys. we want to take a break to thank a sponsor of today's episode, Skims. Before Skims, Underwe is always an afterthought for me. I would focus more on what I was wearing on the outside and think that a new dress or a new jacket would make me feel my best. But Skims has made me realize that the bra and panty I put on in the morning is actually what defines whether I'll be feeling amazing in my clothes. Now, with Skims, my entire top drawer is filled with the most amazing, stretchy and supportive fabrics that keep me feeling comfortable and confident all day long. One of my biggest pet peeves

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Above water. Above water. Cap on. So we had, when we were in Italy, we had a spa day. And we're going to the spa. We get to the spa. thinking, amazing.

Like, this is going to be so nice to put on a robe, get a massage, whatever. I forget what else you do at the spa, facial, whatever. I get there and they're like, everyone goes into change. And I was like, change into what? And they were like, your bathing suit. And I'm like, I didn't bring a bathing suit on account of it's snowing out. And they go, I'm going to go, I'll go to the front desk, see if I can buy one.

I go, can I buy a bathing suit? They go, yes, of course. And they go, what size? I'm guessing medium and they come out and they go the best we can do is small No

I can't emphasize enough I'm gonna stand up so you can see like how much these cover here's the back yeah I'm gonna stand up yeah

yeah were you doing high waisted like that yeah yeah did you put them on I'm already at the spa. But she's holding them up.

She takes them out of the package. She holds them up. They were in like a little, like a Skittles bag. She holds them up. And I'm like, oh my, like, look at me. Like, that's not going to work. And I go, and I don't have the body for those.

And she goes, I know. But this is what we have. And I said, you know. I was like, give me those. So then I'm like, I'm going to prove her wrong. I did not. for wrong because it was right. So I put them on.

I'm like, are there no photos of this? I have a photo. I'd love to see it if you're open to it. Should I really send this to you? Yeah. All right. I'm just going to continue with the story though.

Okay. So I put on the bathing suit, right? I go into the spa and I'm like, okay, well, maybe spa means something different. in Italy, like maybe it just means like water park because I walk in and there's the big bucket

that's dumping and there's kids going down slides. I'm in legitimate underwear and it's all kids. And I can't even find the people I came with. And there was a hot tub and I'm just almost naked and like there's parents sitting. There's a birthday party happening with like cake and pizza. I'm in this thing. And then I sit and they're all of a sudden the lifeguards are blowing whistles at me, pointing at me pointing at me. I'm like, what's going on? I got in the water without a swim cap. They made my big, fat, dumb ass put on a swim cap. Now, I'm in underwear in a swim cap. I look like a penis. Like there's no other way. I look like a penis in a condom. And I'm going to send you this picture. I can't believe you haven't shared this already. And this is not being shared on the

podcast, okay? I just said it to both of you. No, the picture is not. being shared in the podcast. Honor. You look great. Really? Yeah. Also, that's a hat. Like, it's a winter hat that you're wearing.

Oh, that's not my swim cap, Brooke. Oh, okay. Do you have a photo in the swim cap? Yeah. You look like a swimmer. That's really kind. Yeah, you've body dysmorphia. What you can't see in that is that it's going up my ass.

Like, my butt is eating those shorts. I actually feel like you look good in this. What? I feel like you look good. Oh my gosh, Brooke is exercising her lovemanship. Yeah, I am. Oh my gosh.

Well, I appreciate that. Like, you have like abs or something. Well, I was, I was stunting on them hose at the, at the kiddie pool. No. There's nothing to flex, frankly. I think you look great. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

Keeping your spank bang. I think you should show this on the podcast. I'm not even kidding. I don't want to. Okay. I will. I'll edit it and then I'll show you everyone on the podcast. I don't think you need to.

I made a plate of eggs and I want you to know I didn't finish them and I put cottage cheese on the eggs. I don't like that. But I'm such a brave, brave young man for eating cottage cheese on my eggs now. That I don't love. No, because it's to have probably the most in, unhuman. consistencies of foods that are, I mean, it's genuinely slop. I know people that sitting around that make eggs, presentation is not the end goal when you're making eggs at home,

like scrambled eggs specifically. I could go for a plate of Marshall's eggs right now. When I come back, which by the way, I'm about to be there for two and a half weeks. Yeah. I'm getting those eggs. Come over and Marshall will make us eggs. I would love to. Oh, man, he is good.

I'm there for so long that I'm getting an Airbnb. Wow. Where can you say? I don't know yet. I haven't booked because I'm banned from the app still. Like Marshall's already, I'm banned too. But. Why are you better?

I don't know. I think because of association with you. Hmm. But to me, like Marshall already like is so hot. And like when he is serving me those eggs, on a plate, it's like you are the hottest guy in the world to me and in general. Wow. Yeah.

Wait till you experience it. I really can't wait. It's so awesome. I wish everyone could experience Marshall delivering, y'all like wet eggs. Do you want to talk about the oxers? Whoa. Yeah, I'm down to talk about the Oscars. Okay, the oxers were great.

I didn't, like, okay, I have to say really quickly about the actual show. you know my love for Conan O'Brien just mostly because one actually several things I'm going to lay it out I know you like him too I do I love the guy I think he's really one of like the greatest to do it

one we kind of weirdly look like that was my original doppel game I did the face match thing and it like matched me with him I static posted it back in the day right two he's a comedian that is verge of obnoxious

and then stops right before it like makes me upset which I know I'm not the barometer for like I can see what you're saying though like he never pushes it too far no like Jimmy Fallon's laugh that's like I'm like okay like what are you why what are you laughing at you know or like I he knows exactly where to stop I love it and he's not like there's not like a ton of news about Conan O'Brien all the time you know it's like I'm going to be I'm like a permanent figure in the space and I'm going to leave it right there And if I get asked to host, now, something was very weird about the room that they were in or something.

Like, I don't know if it was the audio or what, like, if, if the, it was like, the, it was like, the vibe that it was giving was, you go to a wedding and the room is too big for the amount of people that are there, so no one dances. That's kind of the vibe I was getting. Like, no one's jokes were landing to me. It was awkward. There was something wrong with the tech. Maybe it was that. Maybe there was a delay. I don't know. There was something off.

Like the way that they kept cutting people off was different than they usually do. It was like more severe and rude. They cut off that short French film. They were being really mean to the point where I was like, this has to be an accident. Like they can't, they're not actually being this rude. They can't be. Because usually they play the music. But like this time they were like removing the mic and like it was just like, I don't know.

It felt like a like smart house like gone wrong. They removed the mic from someone and then they went to Conan's face and he was like. Yeah, it was not. Oh my God. This is not like very professionally done. It was like a hijacked. Hijack. Yeah, it was weird.

On a positive note, I did like how 90s feeling it was. It was kind of 90s or like early 2000s. What gave you that vibe? The design of the stage. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. Timothy Chalamey didn't win.

He didn't. Even though just like, nothing could ever embarrass Timothy Chalamey, but the feeling it must have felt for him to wear the same suit that he wore to his first ostrich nomination to his third. Or like, I guess, I don't know if it was his next or his third. And he wore it again, assuming like, maybe this is the time I win.

I feel like he had to know he wasn't winning this one. No, I don't think that they can I don't think that they I think that this might be the most tight-lipped secret And you know like how like VMAs and stuff Taylor Swift is at this so like obviously or like Beyonce is here Right They don't go to those unless they're gonna accept the award

I don't mean like he actually knew I just mean like in his heart Like I feel like he should have known this one This one wasn't happening He's been campaigning for an Oscar Oh don't I know it I have not seen anyone do what he's

done ever in my life. Did we speak about the opera ballet controversy? I don't know. I have feelings about it actually and I feel like usually I don't really care about this kind of stuff. Oh, it like upset you? No. It didn't. I mean he said it really poorly. What he said was delivered poorly but like I understood what he was

saying that like it is just, just a fact that like we don't go to the opera and we don't go to the ballet in the same way that we go to the movies and it came out of his mouth like pretty badly delivery was delivery was really off but like I got what he was saying um I just feel like people are paying more attention to what he said and it felt like they were paying more attention to like him to him than like the war at the Oscars like I felt like Conan got a joke in which was good but then like so many other people referenced it and there was like so many ballet and opera things

that I was like you guys like at this point it felt like bullying Timmy so people think that that like that his he shot himself in the foot literally because I know of that comment that resurfaced from 2019 they said it was no it wasn't that was fake it was recent and like I get that it was really poorly delivered for sure but like I know we're talking about

I meant and I feel like most people know what he meant. And it just... We don't talk about the ballet. I know. Unfortunately, but that's true. But like that we're doing it now. So like if anything, he rate, like, people are probably going to go to the ballet more because he said that people don't go to the ballet.

Sure. But I'm just like, I was like, whoa at the amount of attention people were giving it at the Oscars. Like I would have, if I were him, I would have, like, I think I would have had to leave. I would just like, it's so tough. Slow News Week. over there. And like, I'm surprised that he hasn't clarified because like, I guess he just really doesn't want to give it any more attention. But like, if I said something and I meant a different thing and was like so misunderstood, I would be really anxious to like clear up what I meant,

but he's just like letting it, letting it go, which like almost like, okay, respect to that, I guess. Yeah. But I would have felt so. uncomfortable crawling out of my skin if I were him. Yeah, that sucks. Thank you, the Academy. Damn it. Woo. But, yeah, I was feeling like, because I also, never mind, that's it, I guess. That's really all I had to say about that. There's nothing really left to say.

I also, actually, I have something. Yeah. Timothy Shalame being, how old is he? 30. He's 30 years old. It's just, it's, it's, It's funny to me because I truly, I think it's genuinely funny that he had so many marbles in Marty Supreme, which I think is like one of his lower, in my eyes, like, acting wise. I think he's his, like, call me by your name, blows Marty Supreme out of the water acting wise, I think. You know, it's like crazy that this is where all everyone's money was, was Marty Supreme,

which I really like outspoken, fan of Marty Supreme. Yeah. Really like the movie. Yeah. About merch. It's the only one I saw. of the Oscars. I need to watch sinners.

You need to watch sinners. Hamnet was like grief porn. Yeah, I don't think I can do Hamnet. No, I don't want you to watch it. No, I think that would really, like, severely put me in a state. Or you need to watch it on like a Wednesday so that by next Wednesday, like, we were like crawling out of the hole. Yeah. Hamnet sinners.

I forget what else. One battle after another. Which. Oh. Leonardo DiCaprio. Looks great. He looks amazing. How did he just wake up one day and decide for his swelling to go away?

He looks incredible. Nicole Kidman, I was like, oh my God. Yeah. I like, it's, I, I want a facelift right now. Did you see Nicole Kidman on Las Coltraces? Yeah. That was best in show. It's so weird to see her as just like shooting the shit like that.

Just like, I'm not going to be one of those people that's like, are you high? And it's just like someone having fun, you know? Like I hate people like that. Yeah. Genuinely, the funniest. And you have to remember she's an actress. So like she could turn that on and off and like a theater, you know, aficionado. So like she can do that.

But when Matt showed his shirt, did you see that? No, I don't think I saw that part. I've only seen clips. He opens his shirt and he's wearing a Looney Tunes shirt. Yeah. And she goes, oh, oh, yes. Looney Tunes. Yes.

Tweetybird, Tweetybird! Yes! Please, can we play the clip? It's like, and Bowen is like this. Trying to, he's just like, is anyone else? She's like, she's like having an out-of-body situation. At his, at his loony turns,

courage tier shirt. Can we, can we play her audio? Oh yeah, here it is. I have my Looney Tunes characters on today. Yes. We love Looney Tunes. Looney Towers. Yes.

Yes. Now, don't you do... No. Don't you do a little quacka? There's Tweety. All of them. Oh my God. Honestly, I want to...

Oh, my God. But Tweety birth. Something is... Oh, okay. You were in a thrall right. That is a situation. Is she having fun? Yes.

Is that amazing? 5,000 percent. Is there something coursing through her system? I would say so. I want whatever she's having. And I want, oh. Yeah. Let me be clear.

I want it. Let me also be clear. There is something, which I love. We are, we are at, like, open advocates for, like, putting a little bit of something, something in yourself on the camera. I'm, I'm not a, I'm not going to speculate at all. No. Either way, I just, I want, even, even if it's mindset, it's mindset, I want the mindset. 50,000.

percent. I love. I love that shit. You know how they say something scratched your brain? This is like grabbing my brain and and feeling it up, you know? Yeah. I really like that. I had just seen more normal clips of her on it.

Oh, no. This one is, this one is my favorite. This is going to be like, I'm going to pull this up when I'm, when I've just, like, when I need it. Yeah, that's, that's supremely fabulous. Could we watch that again? Yeah, I was going to ask if we could. I really love that.

Okay. Yes. I have my Looney Tunes characters on today. Yes. We love Looney Tunes. We love Looney Tunes. Yes. There is.

Yes. Tweety Bird. Don't you do little quacka? Yes. All of them. Oh, my God. Honestly, I want to. Oh, my God.

But Tweety Bird. Yeah. Something is happening. Yeah. I, no, see, I think, I think that, I think she's doing a bit. But I want to know what her relationship is with Tweety Bird for her to be like, my, my Tweety Bird, my Tweedy Bird. I would listen to a, like an obsessed episode of Nicole X Tweedy.

Brooke, I, Brooke, I want to get into this mindset and go back and forth with you for it. I want an episode of like a Nicole Kinman episode. Oh my God, Nicole Kimman on why she loves Tweedy Bird. Whoa. That's how good she looks. Fath. Tweetybird, Tweetybird, Tweety Bird. Why do you love Tweety Bird so much?

I love Tweety Bird. I don't know. It's just cute, right? I never know. I never know. I love that. Go. Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah. She hasn't been on White Lotus, right? No, you're thinking of every other mini-series that's existed on HBO. Oh, like every little liar down the street. Nine perfect stranger. Big little lies, the un-wewing. Nine perfect secret wives of Mormon ladies. Yes.

Okay, I have a couple things to run through TV-wise, if we can. Me, too. One, I'm very confused. So they obviously, like, released, they keep doing waves of White Lotus castings. You know how, like, there is some, like, big ones that come through and you're just like, whoa, this is going to be great. Yeah.

I need Jessica Lange, you know, like I need, you know, I need someone like that. Lang? What is it? Lang, yeah. Okay, I always say Lange. That's fine. It does way more American horror story to say Lange. Go ahead and keep saying Lange.

I'm going to walk through the most recent casting. Yeah. And then I want you to stop. Okay. I'm going to run through it. Okay. Okay. Alexander Ludwig, A.J. Michalca.

Machalca? Okay. You know what I'm saying. Of course. Of course. Helena Bonham Carter. Vincent Castle. Steve Coogan.

Sandra Bernard. She's going to be good. Dylan Innes. Caleb Jante Edwards. Nadia T. Chris Messina, Chloe Bennett, Max Greenfeld.

That's going to be great. Yes. Arii Griner, Charlie Halt. That's going to be great. Kumail. Quentin Fila? I don't know her.

Marissa Long and Jared Paul. I wonder if Chris Messina, Charlie Hall and Max Greenfield are going to be like a family of like Burnett white hair, white people, white boys. They all like, because they all could be similar if you tried. Where is this one? Where is this one, France? I don't know. I wanted to say France too.

Yeah, it is. Okay. I could see some of them like studying abroad, like the younger people. Ooh. because like there's a group of very similarly aged good looking young folk yeah like Alexander and Charlie yeah and then that other young man that oh the other young man that I said is going to be a pretty big problem for me and some of my peers

yeah yeah yeah yeah and Marissa yeah so I could see that my question for you is is there usually every season, let me see. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, eighteen, eighteen, eighteen, eight team. This might be the most, but it's not, like, that far off. Especially when you think, like, maybe they're not all, like, uh, what are they called, like patrons of the hotel. Like, maybe they're just, like, some are, like, working and stuff. He's definitely going to be a man from France.

Like this is going to be... The third is 20. It was 20. What? Yeah. Oh, okay. I'm very wrong. It's hard for me to grasp it how many people would be.

And by the way, there's recurring characters, too. I think three of the characters, the massage, the masseuse woman, massage therapist. I wonder if Greg is coming back. What? I wonder if Greg is coming back. The pop-op look alike. Greg is a troublemaker and I want him gone. I'm seriously.

Well, I kind of need something like him to be the thread. Yeah. Well, I'm excited for that. I really need something like that. I'm losing my marbles. Actually, I started watching Rooster with Steve Carell. Oh, how's that? You need to watch it, Brooke. Like, I'm rarely, like, I really think that Brooke would like this. This is one that I don't need to, like, it's cute. Steve Carole's the love of my life. And Brooke, he plays like, he plays some version of Michael. Michael Scott. Like, it is an offshoot, but. a little bit more mature, but very, very sweet. You need to watch Rooster. Okay. Highly recommend. I think it's HBO. I can't remember my video.

There's only two episodes out, but it's just, it's very good. 30 minute comedy. Oh, perfect. That is perfect. I love him. It's fabulous and it's so funny. Oh my God, amazing. You need to watch it.

I love him. And the writing is really, really, really good. And it's set on a college campus, which you know I love. I do. I've been watching Age of Attraction. Is that the reality one? Yes. The age gap dating show. It's got me in its clutches. It is so good. Let me just tell you the premise really quickly. Yeah. Basically, all these people are thrown into like some sort of like not quite a villa. I don't know, maybe some sort of resort. And people of all ages and they're kind of just like speed dating each other. And the only thing you can't talk about is how old you are. And so they're. And so they. then once you kind of like make a match and you're like, okay, I want to do this with you,

then you go to the promise room where you like give each other these promise rings and you're like, okay, I want to like go through this experience with you. And then you reveal your age. And then after you reveal your age, then you move into and with each other and see like if it works or not. Some of these ages had my jaw on the floor. Like they picked people intentionally. They pick people intentionally that you're like, okay, this person's like, 40 tops and it's like I am 60 it's really wild you should watch

wait can you pull up the 27-50 for it can we zoom on them yeah but if you don't want to be spoiled then don't watch this part but there's one girl that's 27 and one guy that's 60 I love them they are like the they are the favorite they're the what's the word I'm looking for like the crown jewel

maybe they're the crown jewel of the season um they have they're the only ones with any sort of potential but no this is not the the guy is 60 and the girl is 27 yes horay is 60 they look great too yeah ah i like this yeah you should watch i they they better use age as just a number in this show at some point is it a song is that a song it's a saying oh yeah obviously but here's everyone. This, that brought me genuinely to something that I don't know anything about, but I just want to like throw it out there. I don't have anything to say about this.

I'm wondering if maybe you do. The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, which seems to be shooting 24-7 every single day. I've never watched an episode. Neither. Don't necessarily care to, even though I know that everybody in the world watches and I'm very out of the loop.

I'm okay with being out of the loop with this one. But the young woman has now been cast as the best. Bachelorette. Right. And it just came out in press that like she had a domestic situation happened with her ex. And so it's like very obvious that she doesn't stay with anyone in the bachelor at that she's, it's not even out. It comes out on Sunday. And it's just like, oh my God. Like, oh, I am dumb. I didn't realize that was current. I thought it was like something from the past that was. No, no, that happened like last week. Oh, so the show's completely ruined. And also that's tough to all I will be watching because it does look interesting and she looks

like it's going to be very good TV um bachelor's just like so they need an element in there like maybe just make everyone gay or like something a little bit more like less vanilla they should lock everyone in and turn the lights off just something they need an out an added element like you have so many dating shows that like have that like okay these people are like 58 years apart from each other. Okay, you can't see each other. Okay, you guys can't touch. So like to do one that's just like regular,

it's not working for me right now. One of you is a killer. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Okay, champ, well, much to discuss. A lot of TV to watch. A lot of TV to watch, much to discuss you late. I got to get these eggs out from my line of sight really quickly.

Okay. If not sooner. Sounds good. Okay. Well, thank you guys for everything seriously. You mean the world to me. I'm going to take my huge, huge wellness pills. And Brooke's going to finish her bottle of water.

Cheers to that halfway through. I'm going to finish my vase because I'm out of cups skin. Thank you guys for listening and watching. If you're listening, maybe consider watching. Throw us a bone. Okay. Thank you guys. Bye.

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