Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - Our Lived Nuanced Experiences

Episode Date: November 27, 2025

Pre-order Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It: https://sites.prh.com/phoebe-bermans-gonna-lose-it SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl   Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr This week, Brooke and Connor talk about the nuances and lived experiences of Lena Dunham, Brooke’s new bangs, and unlocking a new nightmare. Plus, they answer some of your advice questions and expose themselves to Boogergate.   Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/  Order now at https://drinkwillies.com Download the app or order now at https://Shipt.com  Head to https://drinkag1.com/BANDC to get a FREE Welcome Kit, including a bottle of Vitamin D and free AG1 Travel Packs when you first subscribe! That’s https://drinkag1.com/BANDC. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 0:00 Petit Superpowers 1:35 Intro 1:51 I Foo You Foo  3:04 Brooke’s New Bangs 4:10 Becoming Better At Life 6:07 New Nightmare Unlocked  7:34 Girls Is So Nuanced  11:00 AI Could Never Write This 14:05 Brooke’s Cut Scene 15:45 Tom Brady’s Cloned Dog 17:55 Willie’s Remedy 19:14 Shipt 20:02 Ganging Up On Your Siblings 25:40 Fighting On Family Trips 26:50 Telling Your Friends You Have A Bad Haircut 29:00 It All Comes Back To Girls 30:39 Fixing The Notes App 31:56 Roommate Advice 34:40 The Booger Corner 37:57 AG1 39:08 Hot People Flicking Boogers 41:25 Do It With A Frown 42:35 Rob’s A Good Guy  45:05 I Am A Baby Seal 46:40 Getting Scammed Online 48:02 Crush with BO Advice 49:30 Dogs With Big Balls 52:27 Gaslighting Your Coworkers 53:50 Brooke’s Mom Calls In 56:37 Baby Name Drama 1:00:52 Family Drama Advice 1:03:08 Women vs Gentlemen 1:04:30 I Love LA Show 1:06:10 Everyone Puh— 1:08:38 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I almost did 5 under. And I don't even know what 5 and under. Because that's what it says on my hinge profile. Five and under? No, 5 foot. Flat. Hmm. Because it's like no one's going to see me without shoes.

I feel like being petite these days is a bit of a superpower, no? No, I, I, like, yes, but 411 is like people don't know what that is, you know? Like people will read 411 and think like, oh, 4-1 or like you're like literally like 4-6. No. They think it's a lot shorter than it is. And I don't think I appear that way. So I think I'm actually being more straightforward about my appearance when I say five. I know what you mean.

Yeah. Because I would have like a tough time with like a point of reference for 411. I'd be like, yeah, what can I compare that to? Right. Exactly. A summer's day. Yes, exactly. So I'm being more.

When a girl lies about their height on hinge, it's honest. And when a man does it, it's deceiving. I've been so anti-man recently, which I think is good. It's the bangs. I'm telling you it's the bangs. It's literally the bangs. I am, I foo, I foo too. I feel like a new person.

I foo like a new person. Connor. We're not starting with the B-Suite. We really need to just milk every, every time we slip up on words, we need to go right into a riff about who's the individual that is fooing. Did I say B-sweet? No, but I saw it in your face.

That was the next two words to come out of the, that mouth. No, because we don't even need to draw more attention to the fact that I said foo. But you, at the end of the day, you did say foo and there's no shame in that. I don't want to talk about it. You're 4.11 and you said foo. Those are two things that I don't want to talk about. I do want to talk about how amazing my bangs look.

Okay. I feel like your bangs look amazing too. I fu, you foo, he, she, we foo. You're making me very mad. and you do not want to make this girl mad especially because of the bang no I trust me do you like them or what

I told you before we even started recording but you didn't say it on camera okay I feel like if you don't see it on camera is it even no you're right no you're right and I okay your bangs look amazing thank you thank you I said it earnestly earlier

so anyone's saying that I'm just like saying it to say it like I did say it and she wants it on camera, let the record show that I feel like her bangs look amazing. Thank you. I just wanted you to say it on camera. Thank you. Of course.

I feel like an art teacher. No, you know what? I feel like you are. Someone about to get architecturally digested. No, you know what? I actually felt like looking in the mirror this morning, which was scary, like a woman on the brink of 30.

Brooke, there's so much power in that. I felt that way. For the first time I looked at, in the mirror and I said, instead of thinking, oh my God, I'm almost 30. I thought, oh my God, I'm almost 30. Can I so I just. But not necessarily almost. There's a no one is. No one is. I, um, I just had a coffee meeting just now and I am, I kind of keep slipping into like existentialism with people that I'm casually talking to and it doesn't have that like it's, it's like an actual business meeting and I'm like, yeah. And I'm like, yeah. And I'm like, and all.

All my friends have two babies now, so it's kind of like, what am I doing? You know, and I slipped that in. And this young man was 40-something, and he was walking me through. He's like, my 30s were my favorite part of my life because my life was easier because, not because I was better at it, but because I made less mistakes. So it was like twice as easy, which made the like twice as easy made it like double as fun and enjoyable because you like learn and you're better at. life. Isn't that crazy? Because you just make less mistakes. I know. It's just like, wow,

I've never thought about you're just, you're just better at it. So it makes it better. The sentiment seems to be your 30s are the best decade. Yeah, but what I don't like about that is the fact that like if I'm living in them, it like gives me less to look forward to. Like in my 20s, I could be like, oh, at least like my 30s are the best decade. But when I'm in my 30s, it's like, uh, I'm about to be my 40s next. I feel like I'm going to be really good at being in my 40s. Like I just feel like such a 40 year old at my heart. I just like can't stop thinking about the fact that like men truly like keep getting better with age.

I know I'm going to be a hot 42 year old. Yeah, which sucks. I'm going to be trouble at 42. You're going to see me coming and be like, oh, you might be trouble at 42. We're like, I don't really have the option to be trouble at 42. Yes, you do. Not really. With those bangs, Brooke?

I mean, with the bangs, yeah, things might be a little bit different now, but it's harder for women. Dancing through life with your bangs. Yeah. Yeah. Can I tell you about my nightmare that I had? I was going to bring that up. I, you know how I usually have the dream about like I'm driving and my brakes don't work and I'm approaching an intersection? And that's just like really a reflection of feeling out of control in my life.

I feel like I had a new out of control dream, but it's completely different. David Cornswet DM'd me. And I was trying to respond, but somebody like a phantom was responding on my behalf and I could see them typing out and there was nothing I could do. And there were so many typos. And the phantom just kept sending them and I was like screaming at my phone. Like please like, please not to David Cornsweat, not to David Cornswet. and everything, it was just out of my control.

Somebody on my behalf was having a conversation with David Cornswet in my DMs, and there was nothing I could do to stop it or edit the typos. That's out of control. That's almost worse than cruising up to an intersection. No, that's my 2025 version of the intersection dream. DC and the DMs. Yeah, but I wonder why I would feel that way the day that I just got my bangs. If anything, I should feel the opposite.

Like, I finally have a new lease on life. I think those are two isolated events. I don't think those two are related. I feel like I should feel completely in control now. But honestly, I think it's because I've been watching so much girls. What episode are you on? I just watched the episode. I think it was the season two finale where Hannah's OCD is like really, really bad.

And she calls Adam. And he's like, stay right where you are. And he stays on FaceTime with her. And he's running across the entire city to get to her. That to me was the most romantic scene of anything I've ever seen. And I went from being like, they're gross to like they're so gross and perfect and amazing. And I want exactly what they have. I might have to rewatch.

You might. I might because I don't remember that. But I, Anna and Anna are really just wonderful. And all I will say about girls so far, I think I'm somewhere in season three right now is that Hannah gets so much shit for being a narcissist. Whereas like, why aren't, why isn't everyone going for Marnie? she's awful. Not to pit women against each other, but I do think we should like be talking about Marnie right now

because she's now slept with the second one of her best friends' exes. And I think that's probably one of the worst things you can do. So to do it twice and then be going at someone else for being a narcissist is really remarkable. I hope Marnie, like I hope I want someone to scream at Marnie is what I want. Because she's screaming at everyone else. I pray someone screams at her soon. Shoshana did a little bit, but I need Hannah to. I need everyone else too.

She was my least favorite character. Yeah, for sure. She's a tough one, but like intentionally. It's so good about the writing is just like, the characters are all so unique that it's like they've never been done before and they can never be done again and they feel like real people because they're so unique. Like it's like you can't make this shit up, but someone did, which isn't. insane.

I think the writing is just like so nuanced. That's one of those shows where like there's little thing. And this is what I like in TV. This is my, this is my bar for television. I think Feepe does a really good job at it. Always sunny sometimes. Like the jokes that they don't care if you get and you rewind and you watch it again.

It's like, wow, that's so tiny, but that's such a good detail. Yeah. And they're fast. Try to keep up, bitch. I just love like, I think the more reading I've been doing, the more I'm like sometimes. And same in TV shows kind of too, but it's a little bit harder in TV shows because every character is played by a different actor. But in books, sometimes it's like every character is the same.

You're just giving them a different name. Like no one has a personality. So I think in writing, like when you're writing characters, like it is so hard. it's so key to like make every character have such a different voice and such a different personality and give them like key characteristics to differentiate them and Lena Dunham is so good at that. Well it's definitely pulled from lived experience because it's way too detailed for her to just write that into a character.

Yeah, but everyone's lived experience and not everyone can do what she can. I agree, but that definitely came from things she's like gone through. Well, yeah. She's so talented. As a girl. I had a booger in my nose all day today until it's noon. I had it since I woke up at 8.30. Did you leave it in there on purpose?

Yeah, Brooke, I left it in there on purpose. Okay, are you being sarcastic? Yes. There was no reason for that. What kind of question is that? My nose ornament? Maybe you just were like, what's the point of taking it out? Because there's just going to be another one?

No, I was an accident. Yeah, I'm leaving this one there. This one is for me. Okay, well, I used to have a cousin that white boogers on her face, so I don't know what you're doing. Okay, let's circle back to a cousin. Someone's banging on my door. One second. Okay.

Just while he's gone, I need it. I'm flagging that the, I need everyone to listen to the grease. I can't. I don't, I don't want to talk about it. Is he's laughing? What are you talking about? I said listen instead of listen. Uh-oh.

And I tried to dis breast, breath. Oh my God. Listen up, everybody. Brooke is fooing a little breast off today. But everyone, thank you for listening. I want to start talking with like Google Translate. I don't want to use my mouth and vocals. You know what's amazing about us?

No, I don't. Besides the obvious. AI could put its entire pussy into making a podcast and could never write anything. as nuanced, positive connotation as this podcast because it makes little to no sense. Because, yeah, AI's not programmed to be dumb.

AI's not programmed to get from point A to point Q before going to B. Yeah, and going backwards too. Yeah, and then we reverse engineers like such common sense thought processes. But we're the breasts at it. Totally. I'm like cracking up thinking about our conversation

about girls, us being like wow it's like nuanced and like she made it each character really different and she's a genius me saying nuanced 400 times you saying it's probably from lived experience and me saying yeah no one's talking about TV like that no one's talking about how characters are are written based on people's experiences and they're all different too it's cool that feeling when characters are different yeah I agree like So, yeah, that was tough. And you saying all characters in every book are the same thing?

I think I genuinely feel that way sometimes. I think that's what differentiates a good book from a bad book. The characters? Yeah, because sometimes when you can't see them being played by different actors, they all feel like the same person because it's just the author's voice. Does that make sense? Are you whispering or is your mic out? Yes, it makes sense to me.

Okay. Um Well, anyways. What? I think your mic is really far away from your face. What? I think your mic is far away from your face or something. It's like about as close as it's ever been to my face.

That's better. Here, I'll point it more directly at my mouth. Thanks. Just the thing is when I was in, when I, my role for Noel's horror film, I was flailing. so much that I knocked over my mic stand and it hasn't been the same since. Can I be honest about something that happened in Noel's horror film with my character? My last scene, spoiler alert, when I was being stabbed in the back, like physically, not metaphorically, like with a knife, I was supposed to, I did.

I had a blood capsule in my mouth and it spilled out like really beautifully out of the side of my mouth and that was cut. Oh, that's a bummer. You should ask for that clip. I want it back. I'm really upset about it. Not upset, but like I worked really hard on that scene. That's hard. I was really scared to put the blood capsule in my mouth. That's hard. Yeah. So now I know how actors feel when their scenes are cut. It's like devastating. Yeah, that sucks. Totally sucks. What? It's okay. It's not right. It's not but it's okay. Yeah. Like,

people do hard things. You have bangs now, so. Yeah. At least I'm... My... Okay. So, before I got on, I was thinking about this. Did she see Tom Brady?

He, um... You know a ton about Tom. I know. He played for the Patriots, and he was married to Giselle. And he kissed his son on the lips. Brooke, those are kind of the only things you need to know about TB.

Yeah. TB 12. And he's featured in the film 80 for Brady. Which I heard was a masterpiece. A freaking masterpiece. Well, that's amazing. But Tom just cloned his dog and people are like, you didn't hear that he cloned his dog?

I did. I didn't. And I saw a tweet that was like, I didn't know we were here yet. Neither did I. Why did I? This didn't even make me blink. Like, why?

I thought people have been. know, I think I know people that have cloned their dogs. I only know people from the season two of the rehearsal that cloned their dogs. But I was kind of like, that can't be real. Well, I don't think we're, I don't think cloning is the right terminology. It's just like DNA, right? Well, they're not, they don't have the same personality. It's a different dog.

It's a different dog. So I don't understand what they're cloning. Like, the DNA. Like I guess if you cloned me And And made me in an embryo Would I look the exact same? I would look the exact same

But it would be a different person With like different Behaviors That would be personality Did a dog just walk in the studio? Okay Why did you say that? Oh

I thought I heard a dog But it was just Evans backpack It's everything I hear something. What? Now I hear, oh, oh my gosh. There's a group of school children walking by and they're all tied together. Oh, I love when that happens.

So cute. I wish I'd like to tie my kids together. That's the dream one day is to one day tie 12 kids together. Yeah. Girl, winter is so last season. And now Springs got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders.

That perfect hang on the patio sundress. Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear up on that envelope. It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. What's the difference between butter and butter made from real California dairy?

It's the real California farm families behind it. Real people, real care, real intention. Why? Because real matters. So whether you're pouring milk, melting cheese, or just grabbing one more spoonful of yogurt, keep it real. Look for the seal.

Real California milk by real California farm families. Okay. Oh, doesn't that just make your heart warm? Yeah. How many kids do you want? What kind of kids do I want? Oh. Three sounds right, but that doesn't make sense numbers-wise, because I feel like they need to be even.

I have three. Do you guys gang up on each other? We have in the past. Yeah, I feel like it's always got to be like there is, there ends up being a majority there, and I feel like that's not right. Well, imagine when it's three to one, if you have four. That's even worse. I don't think it ever would be three-ed-one.

You can gang up on each other in an even number. Okay, well, if it was three to one, then like the one, like, sorry, that is truly, like, that's your fault. If you don't even have a single person that will vouch for you. Me and Gabby and I gung up on Noah. You gung up on it? Yeah. So bad last year. Last year?

Yeah, it was like one of the worst gung-ups like I've ever seen. You shouldn't be gunging up on your family. You're blown. Yeah. he deserved it What do you do? Are my bangs? My bangs feel really weird right now against my forehead.

They're fine. He Um, my, this was the family cruise. And it was actually like me and Gabby were like, we were like, we want to go on a family vacation. We never do that. And we'd been saying that for years. And so I think we had, we had plans to be with our dad for Thanksgiving. And he like texted us like surprise.

like we're going on a cruise. And Gabby and I were like, yay, we're so excited. Thanks, Dad. Like, we love you. And he's like, I love you guys. Like, I'm so excited. And no response. And was like, wow, don't know if I can come, had plans.

And like, that was his only response. And so Gabby and I were like texting him on the side. And we were like, dad was so excited. He gave us such a special gift. And that's how you repay him. Like, you're really a bad person. And not those words. But we were really mean.

I can't imagine if you and Gabby group texted me and we're being mean. Well, it's like sad when your parents are like old and they do something nice. And then you watch one kid to be like, nah, I'm not interested. Did, well, he said, I can't make it. Right? Like, did you, did you book it for a date? No. He was like, it was worse than that.

He was like, wow, wish you had told me. But my dad was like doing this like grand gesture surprise that was really sweet. I don't need you on Noah's side. I don't need you doing Noah's side right now. No, if my parents booked a trip that seemed really fun and I had work, I'd be like, why didn't you double check with me? He didn't have work. What did he have?

I don't remember, but it was like something fine. To skip? Yes. Oh. Well, I'd still be like, oh, like, we should have been like, okay, I bought these things. What dates is everyone available? No? I mean, it was just like a sweet surprise.

surprise gesture. You do want to check availability. We were all supposed to be with him for Thanksgiving. Oh, you didn't say it was a Thanksgiving. I did. I did. I had said that. Well, don't you remember I went on a cruise over Thanksgiving?

And I said we were going to be with my dad for Thanksgiving. Pish, posh. We were taking a bath. You can't fiercely play devil's advocate when you're not even listening. I'm locked and loaded over here. Anyway, I'm going to clone my cats. Someone outside is singing, but not good. It's a little, it sounds like a ghoul.

I keep having to look out because I don't know where people would be outside this window. You know the window in this room. I kind of forget. Well, there's this room that I'm in here. You kind of know this area. Uh-huh. And then there's one window there that looks out, kind of out straight at a brick wall. Right.

And then it also looks into my neighbor's houses, but I don't know where people could be singing at there. It's also so cool. Probably on the street. This is not the street. But there is a street. Yeah, but they're back. Anyways, it's fine.

They can sing their hearts out. Wait, I have been loving saying, Eat Your Heart Out. What context do you use that in? Like, Eat Your Heart Out, Noah. we'll be on this Thanksgiving trip. Yeah.

It's like, go fuck yourself, I think. Oh, I wish I had the screenshots of all that. It was so funny. Eat your heart out, Noah, at your plans. Yeah. We'll be with Papa. He did end up coming on the cruise and he did end up sleeping on the plank. Oh my God, he got planked.

He got totally plank. That's why did, I'm still not over you guys putting like 12 adult people in that one. It wasn't okay. And we knew it was bad because. usually my dad like when things are bad like he'll be like wow this is incredible and try to make us feel bad that we're like not appreciating a situation that's like clearly shitty you know and he walked into that suite which i think was sold and marketed pretty differently and he said this is pretty bad i would have i would have jumped ship i think oh my god they're releasing um that was like

this this this makes me feel similar to that similarly to that like the vibe of older teenage kids with their AirPods in the whole time on a trip and like looking at their phones and like their parents are like, we took you to California, you know? And it's like, take your AirPods out. You know, like when I, when we went to Yellowstone with my family and my dad was so excited because he got a convertible. And it was like we, there was like a rogue winter storm and it was like 30 degrees outside and it was dumping snow. And he was like, no, we have a convertible. the top down and no one spoke we were no one was talking everyone was mad there's buffalo everywhere we were like i couldn't enjoy it because i was just pissed off the whole time yeah i had

the worst haircut during this time of my life that you could you could see my scalp like it was that then and then it was like macklemore i know that one yeah you do yeah from from bottoming and bottoming out on your instagram or something oh it is like it's it's it's way down there. Yeah, it's far down. I need to archive that. It's one of, it's like that when you have a haircut like that, it makes you wonder if any of your friends really liked you, you know?

Because how come no one was like, oh my gosh, why did you do that? Oh, I think the opposite. Like the fact that they're still willing to be friends with you through that. I like to say something. If it's fixable. You can't make a comment on your friend's bad haircuts. that's really mean. When it grows out, I would be like,

hey, you can't cut it like that ever again. Well, did you like your haircut? I must have, but like, if my friend likes their haircut, I'm not going to be like, hey, this looks really bad. That's a really mean thing to say. No, you don't say it when,

you know, if someone doesn't get a tattoo and you're like, that is horrible. You know, it's just like, oh. But like hair is fixable. So I think when it grows out, I'd be like, hey, you should not do that again. Oh, I don't agree.

Because your friend may like the haircut, but do they also like being hot and... Well, if they think it looks good, then like, who cares? If they feel good in it? Hmm. I'm agreeing with you to a point, but then I'm like, I promise you as your friend. Like, this is bad. I don't agree. I'm not all for like, oh, you feel good in it.

Because I'd be like, I promise you from the outside looking at, you shouldn't feel good in it. That's really mean. I'm honest. No, but just because it's honest doesn't mean you should say something. If I was getting ready to post a picture of myself, a selfie, and I show you and you go, Oh my. Does it make you feel good? Like, I'd rather have you be like, I promise you, you don't want to post that picture.

Well, maybe if it's you and I know that you feel that way, but like most people just like want to feel good about themselves and not have people ruin it. I feel like the way I would feel good about myself is when I got validation from other people. Well, I would encourage you to change your entire way of being. Easier said than done little missy. I agree. That's one thing we can agree about. Okay. We got here.

We got here. And the characters, the characters in girls are nuanced, like at the end of the day. At the end of the day, it's like they're different characters. Right. So Lena Dunham is an incredible writer. You know what's incredible about Lena Dunham's characters? They're based off lived experience. And they're based off lived experiences.

And there's more than one of them, too. and they all, they all have differences. Next time we disagree, like, that's something that we can come back to. Yes. The one thing that you and I, we can, like, like, shot Chaser. The chaser's always going to be lean him, done him. Created characters. Created characters that are different and they're nuanced.

And she really did that. Things she did. I love just throwing the word nuance into conversation when I, like, don't really know what I'm saying. I don't know what nuance means. I want you to try. to define it. Okay. Defining words is really hard, even when you know what it means.

A nuance is like a subtle difference, right? Or like a subtle detail. That's like so well said. Okay. That's amazing. That's exciting for me. Wow. The actual definition is characterized by subtle shades of meaning or expression.

That's great, Connor. Subtility is a key word there. I'm glad that's a great one to tap into. Suttlety. Yeah. What is subtle? Like little and almost unnoticeable? You're like really good at defining words.

Yeah. So delicate or precise as to be difficult to analyze or describe. Pretty much. Well, the Oxford Dictionary really stepping up. Oh, my God. I just thought of a new page for my Hobonichi vocab words. Hobonio. Oh, I haven't.

I haven't dived into my, I haven't doven into my divin. Did. I haven't hop. I haven't divved into my. words I like list in so long. Yeah. That's crazy. You should get a Hobanichi and add a page for that.

I should because have you known, you don't use the notes app, right, on your phone? Did you say that? No. Okay, someone told me recently they don't use it and I was like, that's insane because it's all I use. And then they kind of opened my eyes up to the fact, I'm sorry, like that needs to stop.

The fact that you can't, search for anything in the notes app. Like, if you search for, I have written very specific jokes in the notes app or something, or a list or names for a show that I need to add to the guest list or whatever. They will just disappear. It's impossible to search. I feel like you can search everything. No, it like, it like disappears your notes, a lot.

I don't think so. Anyways. Okay. So we recorded yesterday. Right. And so. We thought we were going to have nothing to say like whatsoever because we recorded yesterday and felt yesterday like we had nothing to say. So I'm pretty proud of us for having that really nuanced conversation.

Well, it was different and it based off of lived. It was totally based off of lived. And there's a ton of differences between you and I and yesterday and today. Mm-hmm. The experiences that we lived from yesterday's recording to today's were so nuanced and so subtle. It actually gave us 30 minutes of talking material. We talked for 30 minutes. Okay, but we had div into the DMs where people had sent in several submissions,

which were just groundbreaking and so nuanced and really amazing. so much so that I want to I want to go through them. Is that okay? Yeah. Okay. So, and I, we just asked for really, really general stuff. Right. Right. Well, first we asked for family drama and that one didn't work out so well. So we moved on to just more of a general. Okay. My room, this is advice that someone sent in. Are you ready? I am. It's kind of relevant.

Okay. It's also nuanced and different. Really? My roommate's boyfriend picks his nose in our room all the time. I don't know why this is, he's really hot so she never addresses any of his issues. But what can I say besides get your boyfriend to stop leaving boogers in our room? He literally picks his nose and then flicks them. There is this feeling in my soul that I have with booger picking where like when I flick it,

I'll never see that. It does, like, kind of disappear. You think you're flicking it into the void? Like, Edna Bids opens and consumes the buggler? See, like, I know that that's not the case. By the way, I'm not doing this. What a good idea for a children's book? Where do all the buggers go?

Bougar land. I'll tell you where the bookers go. Because I, what was I going to tell you earlier is that, like, this is, there was someone I knew that I slept over at their house. and Oh. No, like growing up, like a just sleepover vibes

And I was in a bunk bed. Did they have a booger corner? They had a bugger wall. Connor, my cousin that wiped boogers on her face, I found her burger corner too once. So the boogers do not exist When they leave your nose.

Well, because they were doing intentional wiping. Like building a team. That's different than the flick. They're putting a team together. They were building an army where they could see them. Like spackling. I don't like that. I don't like the spackle.

Yeah, when I said spackle, I saw your mood, your demeanor changed a little bit. I, one time, I hope this doesn't change the way anyone looks at me. But when I was little, I had a spot. And one day I was just like so consumed with guilt that I started sobbing. And I confessed my spot to my, to my mom. And she she cleaned it. That's the end of the story. Consumed with guilt.

Why am I so Lena Dunham with that one? Just nuanced and different? Yes. Woo! I just kicked over the computer almost. I didn't need to tell that. It's okay. It just didn't have any meaningful impact and all it did was tell people that I'm gross.

No, I think it opened you up to being so transparent. with this group of people that already knows everything about you and I. I think what wasn't okay about my buger spot is that it was on fabric. Oh yeah. Oh, that's the part. Which is what my, which is what's not good. What fabric? Whereas my cousins was in the corner of on the wall.

It was on the back of the couch. But a couch in a room where no one sat. My couch is a couch is a couch. Ew. Sorry. That's nasty. Connor. That's gross.

I was four. Were you? Yes, Jen. How do you remember that? I do kind of want to call my mom and ask her like what that confession was like from her POV. That would be funny. Should I do that? Yeah, you should do that.

I'm like worried about her. Let me see. Oops. I hung up. Ooh, call failed. What's wrong with her? Hello? People's phones are breaking right now.

Are they actually? Yeah, my parents don't ring. It just keeps saying call failed. It could be your phone, too. I heard those phones are having issues. What phones? The new one. Now it's working.

She's not available. Are you there? Okay. Hopefully we can catch her later. No worries at all. But anyway, that's that load of horseshit. So your friend's boyfriend is picking his nose in your room. Listen, I am all for, well, Brooke, your opinion is, what if it makes him feel good?

No, that's not my opinion. is totally different than someone's haircut. I think it's really reasonable for you not want to, for you to not want someone to drop their boogers in your room. That's not the same situation at all as telling someone their haircuts fugly.

Yeah. I think you just have to be like, hey, like you gotta come up with like a, I think you gotta come up with like a really good funny burn and be like, hey bugger, hey professor bugs. Like why, where, what are you flicking your boogers everywhere. Yeah, I think make it light, nice and light, make a joke of it. Yeah, something nice and light. You don't need to make it like a big like sit down like I really like please stop Intervention. Licking your boogers in my room blah blah blah. Hey man. Why are you flicking your

burgers in my room? Hey man put that thing back where it came or so help me. Yeah. I think just like next time he does it make a joke or like call it out in a funny way. Okay. If someone was really hot in doing that though would you care is it possible for someone to be hot and flicking their boogers all over your room awesome question from where i'm standing yes because i'm i'm really sick because i can convince myself anything is endearing when it's the right person balls deep and you're not strong jonathan bailey flicking his boogers in my room go ahead king hey here's the here's what here's my couch make yourself Put them all in one area with me. I want you to have a space where you feel comfortable putting your bookers in my home.

That's insane. Connor. No, it's okay. No, it's okay. Feel free to be you. Thank you. A lot of the advice pieces were really actually kind of upsetting and depressing. There's a lot of people that can't get out of bed in the morning.

I get that. Yeah. You know what helps me? What? Genuinely. Like, I don't know why I just started screaming. You just have to. And, like, that's the worst thing in the world.

But, like, not giving myself an option is the only thing that helps me. Do it miserable. You know, you know what woke me up this morning? Do it with a frown. No. I, like, took a water bottle into my bed last night. So I was, like, watching TV. And I was like, I know I'm going to get thirsty.

And it was, like, screw up. on top. I like woke up, like I woke up in the middle of the night. It had unscrewed and my bed soaked right now. I'm sorry. So maybe put a bottle of water in your bed and you won't stay in it for very long. I need to wash my sheets if that helps like really badly and I can't. Mine are washing right now. Oh, I'm jealous. Well, you know, actually like I need to stop saying the most disgusting things. So I'm going to look inward and not say that. What's in there? When you looked inward?

When did you see? I saw someone that needs to not say what they wanted to. I want you to say it. No, it's like gross. Is it? Well, I mean, we were talking about your sheets, so now people are just filling in the blanks. No, it doesn't really have to do with that. It has to do with something one of my cats did.

Oh, yeah. Don't say it. They didn't like go in my sheets or anything. It's not that bad. I just don't want to talk about it right now. Hey, no one's making you. You don't talk about it? They pooped on Rob.

Pooped. He didn't even poop. He's so good. He had poop on his butt, which was not his fault at all. He's the most amazing guy. He just couldn't get to it. And so he wiped, he scooted on my bathroom mat. And so I cleaned it.

Why are you shaking your head? Oh, I mean, because I'm just, I'm finishing your sentences before you, but I've been wrong at every turn. Go ahead. Oh, so I cleaned the bath mat as much as I could. It was a little bit. It was only a little bit. And then I put it in the wash.

But now I'm like, I don't really want to put my sheets in the same washing machine. Even though it was like not even a like perceivable amount once it went into the washing machine. But I'll just be thinking about it. Should I have thrown the bath mat away? dirt goes down the drain with the water during the drain cycles of washing machine eventually flowing into the sewer system. The deterrent helps suspend the dirt. Izzy, can you Google, can you put poop in the washing machine?

Like a little, like not even, like if something, if you poop, yeah, a little poop. Can you put a little poop? Let's pretend it's on your underwear in the washing machine. Can you put a little poop in the washing machine? Yes, you can put a small amount of poop in the washing machine. But you must first remove as much solid matter as possible. it's exactly what I did and washed the item separately. It's exactly what I did.

Thank you. Thank you, Google, Jim and I for coming through with the answer so easily. Can you, can you search on Google and see if Google Gemini answers this? I am a baby seal. I can't find my mama. Where's that from? I want to see if, I want to see if, can I see it a little bigger? If you are a human who has found a baby seal, nope, wrong.

I am a baby seal. What do I do? I'm a baby seal. What are you trying to do? What do I do? I'm lost. If you are a baby seal, you should remain still and wait for your mother to return to nurse you.

E. If your mother does not return. This is so sad. If you're a baby seal on the beach, stay put. Your mother may have abandoned you and you will need help from a local, wildlife rescue. Luckily, baby seals can, this is easily accessible information for them,

so they'll need to stay put and wait for a local wildlife rescue to come pick them up. If you're a baby seal on the beach, stay put, wait for help and if you, you are a wild animal and can bite if you feel threatened, humans should not approach you. Okay, thank you. That's so interesting. Google Gemini is goaded. Is Google Gemini AI? Yeah. But so like, When we Google something, even if I'm not using, if I'm not like seeking that out, it's still like we're using AI with every Google search now. I think so.

We are done for. That's so crazy. Like, oh. Backward came from, so help me. 80 degrees in November vibes. Yeah. I just keep getting texts from people that are like, hey, I wanted to come to your show,

but tickets are $900 now. It is sold out. I don't know where $900. Like, it's so insane. Those are scams. I'm not, who, whose tickets? Taylor Swift,

$900 tickets, right? Yeah. Like Beyonce. I mean, it might be your ticket. I think that they might be real tickets, but it's because Stubhubb like buys a bunch and then resells them based on demand. Right.

Just flattering that the demand equals $900. I think they were $30. Oh my God, it's actually $900. That's crazy, Connor. You know, it would be even crazier if someone bought it. I really pray. I told people do not buy it. It is sold out.

But I think they're real. Or sub-help tickets always real. I got scammed recently for Book of Mormon. I think it's important to be aware of some sellers may attempt to sell counterfeit or duplicate ticket. Yeah. Eh, okay. Um, okay, ready? I'm gonna do another one.

I really like this guy I'm hooking up with, but he smells so bad. That's tough. That's for me at the end. Really? Also, but like what is, like, what kind of smell? Like, from where? Mention deodorant. Oh.

But. Then that, like, if it's B.O. I don't know why I said that in that way. Um, you didn't hear that? What? Okay. If it's B.O. That's fine. Just like Tommy needs a odorant. See, I think if someone is so unaware that they smell like B.O.

And it's like an intentional choice that they're making to not address it. I think that's signs of an underlying bigger issue. Also, if he was your soulmate, you'd probably like his B.O. Right. Oh, Brooke. Way to make that leap. Thanks. Pat, you're back. Well done. Yeah, that's a good point.

Thanks. If you're not loving that musk, he's not your Elon. I kind of agree. Wow. Okay. That was easy. Dump him. Or just only fuck in the shower.

Good idea. My best friend's dog is the cutest, sweetest dog ever. He has gigantic balls in a really big butthole. I love him so much. Okay, who does that remind you of? Gigantic balls in a really big butthole. That's so Henry. Henry, Henry.

Nice. Okay. I love him so much and want to pet him, but I hate getting his balls all over me as well as his butthole at times. Any advice for squeamish dog lovers? Like, put, yeah, put him, put on some pants. Put some pants.

No, I would, I feel the same way. I can't do, I can't do dog balls. I don't like see a world where the balls would get on you. If it's sitting, if it's like jumping and sitting on you. I guess, yeah. Well, I was thinking a big dog. If he's got a huge butthole, like, how big of a butthole could like a Yorkie have, you know? It's not a Yorkie, I don't think.

They didn't say. Yeah. No, I would assume it's like more like a bigger dog. But a bigger dog, like the front of them would be on. Maybe it's mid-sized. Hmm Okay regardless Maybe just focus on the head

And maybe don't Maybe you don't do as much Maybe you don't do as much butt stuff with the dog It's kind of hard just not to like Like I could be focusing on the head But like I know what's back there I With Max I never I'm never I'm never really

I'm not back there ever I feel like my cat's Like always in my face This seems like no I feel like cat buttholes are like, yeah, just like, hello everybody. Yeah, they're not a problem and they don't have balls. Cats do have balls. Mine don't.

They're fixed. Yeah. The balls are gone. Right. Oh, that makes me sick when I got Max fixed. Oh, it makes me sick. Like you had to. I couldn't really talk to Max when he had his balls.

Max is like so big in flux. his balls were. Yeah, I couldn't really, I couldn't really, like, navigate that. I mean, and oh my God, them thinking about Max's balls, they're like, they looked like human balls. Yeah, it was upsetting. Max had like a ball sack. Yeah, this is, it was upsetting. I forgot about that. Now he's just kind of like ballless king. Yeah. What a bummer to like, he never really humped either, but just in Matt like oh my gosh oh my gosh I'm thinking too much about this give me a panic attack thinking about only having to be this like make me out I know that that I know that people I don't know but I oh ooh okay I got to move on

none of these are really relevant to us hang on I stole my co-workers jewel and gaslighted her into thinking it was missing and she wanted me to turn around to look for it So when we were already late for work, so I said, no, she jumped out of the moving car. Wait. I don't know that advice. You're carpooling with your co-worker to work? Yeah. Start over?

I stole my co-worker's jewel and gaslighted her into thinking it was missing. And then she wanted me to turn around to look for it when we were already late for work. So I said no. So she jumped out of the moving car. Okay. That's why you need to. Yeah, that's why you need to quit with Jones, which is a sponsor of this podcast and I'm wearing their sock. Are you?

Yeah, they're cozy. And look at how cool. And look at their like mint. How did you get Joan socks? Oh my God. I have Joan socks too. That's amazing. Yeah, I think you're, if you're, if you're putting yourself in harm's way to hit your hit a jewel.

Yeah. Really truly. That's a sit down come to Jesus moment. Yeah. Like that should be your last day with the jewel, unfortunately. I think so. I also, I realize I'm addicted to weed. Really?

Yeah, because I've been trying to stop and I can't, which is actually like not a good feeling at all. Yeah, I remember Jake Shane quit weed and he loved. Oh, my mom's calling me. Now I don't really want to talk about my booger couch. Let's just do it. Hey, mom. You're on the podcast.

Oh. Hi. Do you remember when I was young and confessed my booger hideout to you? Yeah. That's it. What was that like? Oh, what was that like for you? Like, can you walk us through your experience?

You have the same hideout remember memory as I do? I don't know. Just tell us what it was like for you. Well, I came in and I asked you if you picked your nose or what you were doing, or something about picking your nose and said, yeah. And I said, what do you do with them after you hit them? And you said, I eat them. Okay.

That's different. That's different than what I remember. So that's not at all what I remember. So let's just call it a wash. And. Oh, my God. I told you I wiped them on the couch. Well, you might have done that.

But I remember specifically the eating one. Okay. Thank you. Bye, Mom. All good. It's not live, so. I mean, I'm sure that you did wipe them on the couch, but I don't remember having a reaction to that at all.

No worries. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Bye. So I don't remember that. Well, no, you don't need to. You were four.

I eat them. That sounded like I was a lot younger. That was like Fred Armisen level. I'm a big. baby. I eat them. I'm a baby. Do we have to cut that? No, we have, that is like, that's like something that is the magic of what we do. It's like that, stuff like that.

I must, wait, I, I must have been like two. Just shoot her a text and ask what, how old she thinks you were. How old was I? When I was eating. Them? I eat them. Oh, cool. I ate them great. It was so good to catch up.

Oh, nice. Bye. Not my memory. It must have been because I was so young. I don't remember it. Right. And you were so full, too, probably. Okay.

A girl from my high school named her baby my exact first and last name. It's my Instagram handle and it's what everyone from high school knew me as. When my boyfriend showed me her post and said, OMG, she named her baby first and last name. last, I looked up her Instagram and realized that she had blocked me. So I wouldn't see that she named her baby after me. Wait, did she make your last name the middle name of the baby? It looks like that.

Yeah. My mom said I was three. Okay, cool. Yeah. That's fine to do when you're three. It was a different time. Yeah. I was in a crib, she said.

So that's fine to do when you're in a crib. Yeah. When you're in a crib, all the rules. are off. I completely agreed. Sorry, I'm still thinking about that. It's okay. It's like crazy that's the same person.

It's not like from over here. It's the same as this classy woman with bangs. Right. That's growth. Yeah, that's on growth. That's on growth and bangs. And being different and nuanced now. People can change.

People can change. Change, change. When they have access to other things to eat. I was hungry I was hungry I'm so crazy I was three I'm sure you ate your boogers and you were three

I promise you I didn't I know you did I promise I didn't I did not do that because my mom scared me about like my mom is good at putting the fear of stuff like that in your mind and it saves with you forever however I learned later on from my aunt

that she would eat her scat Aunt. Aunt. Wait, sorry, you learned from your aunt that she would eat what? That my mom would pick her scabs off and eat her scabs. Yeah. That's much grosser to me than eating your burgers. Because boogers come from the same system.

No, no one should be eating scabs or boogers. I'm saying it's less gross at your boogers because it comes from the same place. I just, I don't want either of them. Scabs, I guess, what goes in must come out? What goes out must go back in. It's not going to kill you, but I don't think it's necessarily going to make you stronger. It's good for you. Raise your glass.

Raise your glass. Okay. So what do we think about this young woman in this predicament where someone has named their first and last baby? That's freakish that she blocked you. It's freakish. I have never had a baby. But naming, in terms of namesake, you do assume some sort of sort of. of like hang on it's not illegal to do no it's just it's just weird but honestly like if i

if there was someone's name for my high school that i was like so obsessed with and it was like you know what message this is going to be my kid for the rest of my life and like this girl from high school means nothing like i don't know her like i'll i'm going to take the name and it that's it like it doesn't have any effect on you or me moving forward but if it was someone i knew well i wouldn't and I also wouldn't have blocked the girl from high school though that's the weird part. No, I would have shot the message about this is so weird. I think I would have always loved her name.

We are going to name our baby that. Yeah. Actually, maybe I wouldn't. Maybe a blocker. Hmm. I wouldn't block her because like it's going to get back to her. Yeah, but she's not affected by it. Again, it's not illegal.

I think the blocking is weird, but also like if you guys aren't in contact and she just really liked your name. I'm like, that's fine for her to do. It affects no one. But the blocking is weird. I agree. Okay, I had one family drama one. Okay.

A little over a year ago, my, oh wait. Okay. A little over a year ago, my grandma passed away. She was the best person on this planet. My uncle, 57 years old, has lived in her house rent free for about 14 years. He now pays utilities like water, electric, and chip because, my grandma isn't here to pay it for him anymore. So here's why I'm pissed.

And her will it states that when she died, her house was supposed to be sold and divided into three for my mom and two uncles. He has completely destroyed the house. Like hoarders type shit, it's so sad because I have so many memories there. He drives a 2022 Corvette. Why?

Because he is perfect credit because he hasn't had bills in over a decade. I want you to put yourself in my mom and other uncles position. Could you kick your sibling out? Because you'd think he'd have savings, but nah. Yeah. You could kick your sibling out? Yeah.

I think I could too, like with pretty limited issues. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. Okay. Because that's like not a normal thing to do. No, it's disrespectful. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, if it's in the will. It belongs to the three of you. Yeah. Or he needs to buy them out. Yeah, this is not even a question. It's going to cut.

That will be the end of their relationship probably until they die. Just thinking about that. That's randomly the plot of so many movies. What? The house is left to multiple siblings and then one sibling lives there and like hordes. And then the other siblings are like, you need to get out. I have not heard of a single movie like that. Definitely.

Hello, my name is Doris. That's like the exact plot. I've never heard of that. That's the one with Sally Fields and. Schmidt. Is it Field or Fields? Field. That's one with Sally Field and Schmidt. Oh, is it good? Yes. I want to see that. Oh, I'll watch it. I love it. But yeah, she's hoarding in her mom's house. And I feel like it's a, there are other movies where there are siblings that are like, you need to get out. The show that I watch that I love and I, no one will ever watch it. I can't get

anybody to watch it. It's so weird. The gentleman. It's, Plural, gentlemen. Brooke, that's a perfect example of woman versus women is the gentleman. Like there's not no plural and singular. That's the same word. Gentleman. Yeah, the gentleman. Gentlemen.

Wait. But like ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, wait. You don't be gentleman. I feel like you would say gentleman for both. There's a, there's one gentleman at my door. Yeah. You would say men.

And there's several gentlemen across the street. in for both. It's both for gentlemen and different for women and woman. Another double standard that women have to deal with in the workplace. 100%. That's sick. This is not it either.

This is not it. Theo James is the main person in it. So many people have watched that show. This one's plural. Yeah, the gentleman. Yeah. That show is so good. Because you wouldn't say gentleman for singular.

No, you wouldn't. But what's weird is for woman and women, you're changing the first vowel. And the second. Because you're never saying gentlemen. Oh, yeah. Did you watch I Love L.A. yet? No. I don't think I need to.

Because it's like so close to home. It's just like a TV show. Like another TV show. But I was, I guess I was in the minority of people that really liked it or like enjoyed it. I feel like I haven't heard too much. But maybe I'll watch eventually. I told people that I liked it. And they said, are you fucking serious?

And it actually, I don't know if they'll respect my opinions on stuff anymore. That's like how little they liked it. Who? Maggie and Xavier. Oh, really? one we're with. Yeah. Maybe I'll watch.

Maybe you, maybe you should. Just like maybe it's so close to home that it could be like, oh, interesting. It's like the influencers of it all. I know. I feel like I just like live it so it's like I don't need to consume it in TV form too. I know. But maybe I will when I'm done girls. It's very nuanced.

I'm being serious. That is like a word that I used to describe it too. No way. Yeah. Are there like different characters and shit? Yeah, which kind of makes it different. Wow, maybe I will watch it. It's an ensemble.

Holy shit. And they have like different personalities. Yeah. Okay. I'll watch that. I think it is based off of Rachel Sinnott's experience. This is where I'm like, you're fucking kidding. There's no way.

Better believe it, darling. Okay, so here's the deal with what's happening right now. You have to make. No. Ew, Brooke. That could be P. I don't have to do anything. What I want to do is head down this hall. Check on a few outstanding items, housekeeping items that I have.

Yeah. And then I want to hop in a bonus. And I'm going to discuss something very top secret with you. Okay, that sounds good. Because I got a big week. If anyone coming to the New York show, leave everything you thought, knew about me at the door because it is my last show. I am going to rock out with my out.

Oh, you're going to be the W. Yep. All right. Looking forward to hearing about it. Oh. Yeah. All right. Well, I'll see you guys in the bonus.

Bye. Thank you so much everybody for listening and writing. Sorry about all the booger stuff. I mean, it's just like that is what it is. Everybody poops. We'll see you in the bonus. If you're coming, if you're not, get you know where the door. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Um, that was a situation and I've done this a lot of times before where I say something that's like not funny. And then it's like, let's talk about it for a really long time until it becomes funny and it doesn't. So let's head out. What? Boger. Gaget. Gate 20. I brought it up again. Bougar Gate 20. I know. Sometimes I do that. I like can't let something go like the first time I mention it and it doesn't get the reaction I want. It has to keep coming back. Yeah. No, you don't understand. something bad has happened. Like, I eat them. Yeah. I eat them. Um, so when I worked, that's like when I was interviewing to work at Bird and I kept saying in the interviews like, oh, I was hit by a car on a bird. Isn't that funny? And no one ever laughed. And then I learned later they're like in so many hundreds of lawsuits because people get hurt like hit by cars every single day on birds. And it's like very serious topic, which obviously you got hit by car, but like I shouldn't be saying that in my second third round interview for a job. Sure. Sure. But I meant like endearingly, I'm like, I still want to work here even though I was smashed to bits.

Yeah. Anyways. I know your heart. And you guys know mine most importantly as a classy woman. So let's just call it and I'll see you in the bonus. See you. Bye. I eat them.

Lord help me. I pray for peace.