Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - Rent Must Be Due

Episode Date: November 7, 2024

SUBSCRIBE TO THE NEW BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl   Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr NEW MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com  This week, Brooke and Connor transform into Eliphba and Glinda, but they are definitely over Halloween. Plus, Brooke talks about her day at Disney while Connor goes through his list of impossible words to say.  Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/  Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today and Keep it Twisted. Find your nearest locations at https://www.twistedtea.com/locations.  Head to https://Embarkvet.com and use code BANDC to save $65 on Embark’s Breed + Health Test and get free shipping. Get 25% off your first month of Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic at https://Seed.com/BANDC with code 25BANDC. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/bandc and get on your way to being your best self. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. CHAPTERS 0:00 Do NOT Go In There 1:42 Intro 2:02 Halloween Is SO Over 5:40 Words That Are Impossible To Say 9:14 Crazy Sushi Roll Names 10:15 Brooke’s LODS 11:58 Twisted Tea 13:18 Brooke’s Day At Disney 16:23 Matching Keychains & Gifts 17:43 Adele Appreciation 18:27 Tristan Meets Andrew Garfield 21:01 Me + Who? 23:26 Embark Vet 25:25 Connor Goes To The Hospital 29:00 Connor Preps For NY 33:25 Collecting Sand Dollars 37:52 Seed 39:43 Arch and Miriam Walk Into a Bar 44:13 Q-Tips and Holes 46:22 Brooke Meets MiMi 49:47 BetterHelp 51:21 Rent Must Be Due 52:47 Getting Got By AI 55:10 Getting Spam Texts 57:20 Martha Stewart’s Documentary 1:03:39 I Had So Much Fun 1:06:22 Daylight Savings Struggles 1:07:44 Going To The Wicked Premiere 1:09:53 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Did you hear that? What is that sound? It's beautiful. What up, bitch? Do not go in there. Oh my gosh, your panties are peeking out. They're peeking out of your. robe. This is kind of a new thing I'm doing. I just pictured myself with more access to the free world

from my legs. You look great. Thanks. Do you think I have normal looking knees now that we're on the subject? I was looking at my knees in a photo the other day and I'm like why do they look like faces? Brooke, it looks like you know, baby's kick in the womb like it looks like if a baby was like pushing like this on the womb. That's what my knees look like. Look when I stand. Look when I stand. Yeah. Yep. Everyone's knees. You have a muscle there, though.

That's probably good. It literally looks like I'm pregnant in both my kneecaps. And this is like a baby stuck in there. When I saw it, I know I can't unsee it. I'm like, it's like I have haunted knees. Yeah, my knees were really haunted in all of my Halloween pictures. Oh, because your legs were out too. Yeah, my legs were completely exposed.

Was it not cold? It was freezing, Connor. Yeah. Yeah, but luckily I didn't go out. I just took photos. That's fine. Yeah. There's no shame in that. No. Halloween's over you guys, so stop dragging it out, okay?

It's done. I'm over it. I'm completely, I genuinely am over it. I'm sick. I'm not just saying that. I'm so exhausted. We're adults. We don't need, we don't need 11 days of Halloween, you know? I'm on the same page with you. November 1st is Thanksgiving. Right. Halloween is over. That being said, I did go trick-or-treating over the weekend.

Oh, how was that? Oh, God, it was magical. Oh, that's amazing. It was great. I went house to house. I mean, I was. With children. With children, yeah.

I was accompanying children. Yeah. I was out hanging out with children. Right. You were a supervisor. Yeah, I was a chaperon. I was a chapel around. And I fully were taking kids to the door.

We were loading up and hitting the road. It was so fun. I had like a spiked apple cider. It was just like so perfect and I had such a good time. Oh, I never thought about the fact that like the adults were probably drunk when we were trick or treat. You were just walking around. We had spiked apple cider. Yeah. It was so cool. And I was in, I was up on the East Coast. I was in Boston. Well, I was outside of Boston. No. Oh, no. No. Heat wave. 80 degrees at night on, on October 31st. In Boston of all places. Back when I was young in college in Boston, I think it's snowed by that time.

Let's get you to bed, Grandma. It was so hot. Like, I don't think that we're going to have, I remember in Texas being like, oh, we can wear, I got to wear a jacket with my costume because it's going to get cold later. I had to wear that fleshy, colored long sleeve shirt under all my costumes. Because you needed layers, because people were like, I don't want you to later on. be like I'm cold. Even when I like didn't need layers, my mom would make me.

And it's just like led to so much resentment. Brooke, I know. Yeah. They were right though. No, I don't, I don't feel that way. You didn't need the layers? I did not need the layers. I know you.

I know you. And from the outside looking at, you needed the layers. I was not cold. Like I'm like I'm looking through like seance through the looking glass. What is the freaky Friday book that the mom is writing? Oh, don't tell me. It's a great. Something is through the looking glass, that's for sure.

It's like something like Sessonephens. Like a word like that. Can we look up Jamie Lee Curtis's book in Freaky Friday? Someone is in their car yelling it at their video listening to us right now. That would be a good Halloween costume. The book. The book. Go ahead and read that.

Through the looking glass. No, no, no, because there was a something through the looking glass. We need the, like the underheading. What's that called? Renaissance? Renaissance? No. Was it Renaissance?

No, it wasn't. Because they couldn't pronounce the word. I also couldn't pronounce the word. But once you get it, it like scratches an itch in your brain, you know? Yeah. The subheading. That's the word I'm looking for. I think it's the title and then the subheading was through the looking glass.

No, I think the subheading is effervescence. It's not effervescence. But like along those lines. Why do they keep calling? Right there. If we can zoom in on this. oh you're right senescence in retrograde

senescence that doesn't really itch that scratch I was talking about it didn't did it no I remember it really like being like oof that feels good to be able to say that's like when I talked about I made a TikTok about this and I realize how many people are not

ever affected by this and this never comes across any other people's desk in high school and like when I went to camp and stuff a lot of people wore shirts that's it was like the school that they went to, they went to E-P-I-S-C-O-P-A-L. We had an Episcopal, too. Okay, well, I always said episcopal.

But my brain always reminds me, it's Episcopal, and that, like, gives me chills. I'm like, oh, that's a word that feels good when you, because there's what, you could say episcopal all day if you're not corrected. But then when your brain's like, no, bro, it's Episcopal. I'm like, thank you. That's so awesome. That kind of happened to me with the word epitome. Epitome. I thought epitome and epitome were two different words that meant the same thing.

Yeah. Yeah, so I was using epitome until far too late. I get it. Far too late in life. I get it. Because if you only read a word, that word is kind of honestly, Schrodinger's cat, like in your head, that word is epitome until proven guilty. Did you have a word like on your spelling test when you were younger that you like messed up so bad and now you'll never ever mess it up? Want to know what it is?

Yeah. Mosquito. Really? Yeah, I came in third place in the spelling bee because I couldn't spell mosquito. And that's why I'll always say mosquito Because now I remember how to spell it Why did I put a K in it? Oh my God Wait, how does mosquito help you

Realize there's a K? I don't know Because there's no K It's a K UITO Or how does it make you realize it's not a K Because you're emphasizing the O Mosquito now instead of mosquito You know, if I could go back I feel like Mosquito would help

No, because that now feels like an Italian dish Can I get the Mosquito? Ew, now I'm picturing a bunch of ground up mosquitoes on my pasta. All good. Anywho. I'm with schedule. Schedule's hard.

Yeah. And do you hear how I say it? Yeah, yeah. Schedule's really hard. I say it, schedule. Like, it should be... Give your hair a little schedule. S-K-E.

U-L-E. Let's make it easy. I think I have a words list that like are unnecessarily hard. Necessary is impossible. Restaurant. Necessary indefinitely. Or d'oeuvres. Go to hell.

Oh, that was another epitome. I thought orduvra was a different word than hors d'oeuvres. So when you read a menu at a restaurant, you're like, oh, the orduvros are coming out? 150. We're at a really nice, fancy restaurant. They have orduvros.

Yeah. Thought it was a different thing that meant the same word. I don't, like, I'm not making fun of you. I totally agree. I know. That's like every time I go to the restaurant, I have to say balagnes to the guy, and I don't want to.

But I have to go, I have to go type it in, and then I go, Bolognese. Okay. And then I have to say that in my head. Can't have a conversation until they take my order. Yeah. I used to avoid ordering caprize salads for so long because that was a tough one for me too.

So it's capraise? It's capraise. Don't get me started about prosciutto. Prasuto's fine. Not for me? Really? Not for me or here? No, I go, can I get, um, how you say prosciutto?

I'm a big, like, proponent. I don't know if I use. that word right either. But I'm a big fan of just pointing to the menu and saying I'll have this, thank you. That will do it for me. Yeah, because now well, there's a sandwich I really want that just came out at that restaurant down the street

Giata. Have you been to Giata? Yeah, there's one by me. I'm just like dreading going to the restaurant and ordering the gobbler. Like, why did you name it that? I don't want to look at a man in the face and say, I'll take the gobbler. Like, he's going to be like, okay, meet me out back. Sushi restaurants always do that. They have the craziest roles. Like, the orgasm. Like, can I have

have the sexy role? Like, it's like, what? On earth? Why? Why? I've been, I've been, yeah. The bad little slut role, please. Can I have that dirty, dirty horror role? Like, what? Can I get the roll that you found inside, inside of your body? No. No, Brooke, I've been going to this restaurant for so long, sushi on fire, and I've been getting the 9-11 roll, and they always are like, I'm like, I'm like, the 9-1-1-1. The 9-1-1. Can I get the 9-11 roll? And they're always like, and I'm like, oh, did you take it off the menu?

It's the 911 roll. Well, because they don't put a dash in it. It's not your fault. I don't want you to think that's your fault. Maybe it changed the name. Yeah, change all, like, just like, make the name of the role what's in the role. What it is, is.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm craving sushi now, which is perfect because my stomach's not receiving any food well. I was going to say I have a condition. called Lods at late onset Disney's stomach And I did not coin that

That was coined last night In the middle of the night By my friend David who was experiencing Lods In the middle of the night What do you eat at Disney? Corn Okay Like street corn

I'll let me walk you through Like what everyone kind of have spicy pickle Street corn Chili Like popcorn turkey leg Then like for breakfast I had a pasta with a cream basin

Had gotten on-site food poisoning Yeah Immediate on-site food poisoning That kept threatening To show up on the rides too Which was a little spooky And then top it all off Like with ribs

Why not? For dinner because why not? Churros Fuck it Yeah Yeah Yeah let's just do a churros easier. And then there's these huge, huge coffees with like so much cream and cocoa puffs in

them. That one, that's kind of like the icing on the cake. I hate to say like I don't want to like down your Disney experience or give you Disney egg, but that's gluttonous girl. No, it was it was gluttonous. But the thing is you're also walking 20,000 steps. Yeah. So I don't feel too bad about it, but my body feels bad about it. And that's why I'm having late onset. Yeah. L-O-D-S. So feels weird having it in my girls. Linda costume because she doesn't poop. She doesn't. She bubbles. Yeah. Did you know, like, the turkey leg at the fair?

Did you know, like, a lot of time that's not even turkey, it's ham? That's, there's no way. I promise. And think about the turkey leg you had. Like, it wasn't white meat. It was like slimy. Oh my God. I almost just had food poisoning in the mic. Yeah, it's ham a lot of times, which I don't think I like ham. Well, like, no turkey has a leg that big. Like, did you ever think about how massive those turkey legs are like that would be a dinosaur turkey no there's like those big turkeys yeah like their legs wouldn't be that beefy that's like that's like that's like a small jv football player leg a lot of those

legs are like very massive and have a lot of i'm just gonna i'm just gonna keep thinking it's a turkey leg okay well think next time you're eating it'd be like this is ham just like think like is this ham is this case it's just gonna be turkey for me okay yeah it's very mental it's a mental it's a mental game but when I found that out it was like oh my gosh yeah I've been eating ham hold that that dot me um oh my gosh completely forgot I was gonna say that's crazy that it all happened in five seconds I forgot I do remember one thing okay I met a young woman this weekend at a bar really it was very loud and she kept going guinea pig guinea pig and I was like what shows me a picture it's Frankie's new mom

I got a text from her yeah she's just so darling she was I was like not catching it and I was like and it was so back I think it was one of Frankie's mom's friends okay she had a picture of Frankie yeah you gotta tell Brooke you know Frankie has bunk beds now

oh oh she's so happy that's really great that's good stuff she's pushing her I was just thinking you have some news that someone told me at my show in Grand Rapids Michigan and it was something that I wanted to report

back to you here and I think it had something to do with Turkey but now I don't. I guess we'll never know. When you hear something funny that happened to me at Disney yesterday, I was walking and then some guys started screaming, oh, Brooke and Connor, Brooke and Connor. And I thought he was like referring to me as Brooke and Connor, like as one.

And then I was like, hey. And then he was like, oh my God, Brooke. And I was like, wait, why are you so shocked? You already knew I was here. Like you were calling me Brooke and Connor before. But I realized Patrick was wearing B&C merch. Oh, no way. So he was screaming at Patrick like, oh my God, like, I see the merch and I recognize the merch.

Oh, that's so cool. Which I was like, that is so cool. And like, for whatever reason that, that, like, struck me more than, like, actually, like, seeing me. That's amazing. So I really love that guy with my whole heart. Yeah. That's a sweetie came up. That's darling.

Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. Let us know if you've ever had that happen to you in the wild. Yeah. Oh, yeah. People wearing merch. Yeah.

People wear it a lot to my shows, which. is sweet. Oh, that's sweet. Yeah. A lot of people with the keychains. I love seeing a little keychain. Yes. Because that's like really personal. Keychains are personal. Yeah. Oh, my dad just sent me a keychain. It's really cute. They're so personal that like your family thinks she's a keychain thinks about you. That's like always nice. It says one. It's a puzzle piece and you can separate the puzzle pieces. So there's two. So he has one that says father of a princess and I have one that says daughter of a king. And look at you now. That sounds really like Christian. Well, he got my sister one and I was like I want a keychain and so I think this was maybe the first one that came up on Google but I love Bible keychains I treasure it that's sweet actually there's nothing like I truly think you know like people are like my love language is gift giving those people that are like I want a TV from you and like that will mean that you love me no the only time I believe gift receiving is a love language is when like when I receive a small

Chatsky from someone Chachky? I'm like that's special. Because you have now projected your love for me onto a little meaningless little thing that I could fit my mouth. But what about when it means something? That's even better. Like no Samsung 72 inch TV like means anything to a person besides like big TV vibes.

Yeah. But like a little like when people find a rock and give it to me I'm like oh my God. That's really sweet. I've been on your mind. I wish I could hit that note. I've been listening to a lot of Adele. I love Adele. There is not a better person than Adele, better celebrity than Adele.

I really think she takes the cake for me as one of the best celebrities for the level that she's at as an A-lister. The way she carries herself an axe, like she also works, she works really hard, like the Vegas thing, I can't imagine doing it,

like, show every night in Vegas. Yeah. But like the way she puts out an album once every 10 years, admirable. Yeah. And every now and that she'll do carpool karaoke, remind everyone who she is. She's the perfect mix of, like, personality and, like,

untouchable celebrity talent. Speaking of something happened this weekend. Yeah. A few of our friends went to some sort of big event. Yeah. It was like a gala with, like, so many celebrities. And so it was like Tristan was there. Our friend Frankie was there.

and our friend Andrew Garfield was there too and there were connections that were made Tristan said to him he was on the phone and Tristan said Tristan walked up to AG while he was on the phone Okay good Which is like perfect and everything And he said

You mean a lot to me and my friend Brooke And then they hugged Oh that's really special isn't that special And then Frankie said that she loved his performance and we live in time. And he said, thank you so much. Isn't that crazy?

Oh, that is awesome. Yeah. Yeah. That's good that. It's good that. Keep it short and sweet. Keep it short and sweet. Keep it short and sweet.

I love that some, that they were able to establish some connections. One degree of separation. One degree. That's crazy. Yeah. That looks really cool that thing. Yeah.

I've never seen that ever happened before. And I've, I don't, I don't know exactly what it was. How were seven of our friends able to? Because one of our friends works for Charlie and Troy. And they were performing. And I think they wanted like people to kind of amp up like the crowd during their performance.

Wow. So and Megan was the Apple Girl during one of Charlie's L.A. shows. So she's like a hype team and everything considering. Did you see? So the guy that puts Britney Roshky out of the Apple. Apple dance video? Yes. He's like, he went from being like the most hated man on the internet. Now I'm saying they're like, wait, I like this guy.

Oh, I haven't seen people come back in that direction. I have fully seen it because he's like at this trivia, this random disgusting bar doing the Apple dance and everyone's like, oh. No, someone pushed him out of the way during that in that video. There's a new video then because I watched the whole thing and he like goes back and sits down. Yeah, he does sit down, but someone like pushes him. Maybe I didn't watch the whole video. I don't know. I feel like all of the streets have been net positive. Oh, I've only seen negativity for him.

Oh. Oh. Maybe it's the way we see the world. No, I think it's just like I've only seen negativity, genuinely. Oh. I just like kind of chose to see positivity in that. Okay. But I guess we're different, me and you. Yeah.

But we're also at the same time. We're not so different. Yeah. I can't stop saying me and who. I know. Like even when there's like two people walking out on the street that like, like, are completely like unrelated probably me and who I saw you put that in our notes for this episode and I was like oh she's done writing it was just me and who did she mean to put like context no I literally I just like cannot stop saying it every time I see two people doing anything that's lovely like two people sitting on a bench me and who that's romanticizing

your day to day life people walking on opposite sides of the street me and who a young woman at the doctor's office me and who And she's by yourself? No, she's with the doctor. Sorry, that wasn't clear. Okay. So, a young, a patient with a doctor. Me and who?

I never told you guys when I went to the doctor a couple weeks ago, well, two weeks ago, one week ago. I don't know anymore. I got fully naked because they gave me a robe and then they were like, why are you naked? Why would they give you a robe if that's not what they wanted? They were like, you can leave your shirt on. Oh. And I was like. And your panty?

But you want my pants on there? Like, no, because you can't wear shorts, but, like, you're not wearing underwear? And I was like, no. And so I was just, like, fully whinny the pooing. And this, I just have a walking through the hallway, like, ass out. Fully butt-cheeked out down the hallway. They wouldn't let you wear your shorts? What's the difference between shorts and underwear?

I said, aren't this massive X-ray machine the size of, like, like, a villain sort of cannon laser launcher from a, Marvel movie. It's not able to get through my corduroy shorts. Oh, you didn't say you were in corduroids. I had pictured the mesh. It's going full blown through my bones and flesh and it can't get through my. You can't penetrate the corduroy. My corduroys? So I'm just fully B&C out, like walking through the hallway barefoot shirt on for no reason. Did you put your shirt back on once they said? I was naked. She comes in. The most smug X-ray provider. Like it wasn't a nurse. It wasn't a PA. Like, no communities come for me. I don't know what her job was.

She ran the x-ray. Radiologist, get your hands off of my jugular. I do not know her profession or what it entails. I'm just saying she was a bitch. She came in and she was like, are you really naked? And I was like, what do you want me to do here? Did I tell you what the doctor came in and said to me, by the way? No.

Did I not tell this story? No, I don't know. Why did you get an x-ray? Because I thought it was dying in my stomach. Did I not tell this story at all? No. I haven't been back here since Atlanta. No, you haven't.

Oh my God. Wow. I got to Atlanta and I landed super late again and I couldn't sleep the whole night and my shows were the next day, two shows that night. And I woke up at 6 a.m. Or it didn't wake up. I was just like already awake. And I was like, I need to go to the ER. Like, this is so bad.

So I go as soon as they open. And I was like, I should walk because I feel like it would be good to walk. Like a full mile. I'm sweating. My stomach's killing me. I had to sit down and it's like a highway interstate. And then I go in and I'm having a coffee because I'm like I'm exhausted. And he's like, you need to not be drinking coffee like if your stomach is hurting. So I was killed over like signing in. Obviously it was the woman's first day on the job, the receptionist. And even though I had already pre-filled out all my documents going in, she's like, that does not transfer over to us. And I was

like, anyways, I had to refill out all my stuff. which took 20 minutes and I'm 20 minutes late for this appointment. She asked you why you were there. I was like my stomach hurts, my stomach hurts. And then I was like, I actually need to sit down over there. So then I'm in the waiting room being like diarrhea to the front desk for my symptoms. Just so everybody knows. I wish they would just like slip you a little piece of paper than you could write it on and slip it back.

It was just so loud. Like a $1 bill. Like even a five. But I did fill it out already. So I was just kind of like, okay, that's annoying. Go back. They run urine test, blood test. x-ray, which was the x-ray, I was like,

they'll figure something out through the x-ray. The doctor comes in, and I'm there for four and a half hours, too. This is the day of my shows. Like, I'm like, I need to go and, like, get ready, but I was in so much pain. And so they come back into the x-rays, and doctors, like, you seem stressed. And I was like, I really think I'm dying, right?

I thought I had an ulcer, like, that's how much pain I was in. And then I was like, what's going on? Like, what's the thing? And he's like, you're a comedian? And I'm like, please tell me if I'm dying. Like he literally was like and I love comedy like who's your favorite comedian and like tell me what's wrong He pulls up the X when he sees he goes see all this shit pointing at my whole body the whole part that was skiing I was like yeah what part he showed my stomach and he's like that is all poop and farts

I thought the problem was that you couldn't stop pooping and fart I told him I was like sorry guys like listening but no it's like I'm constantly PNFing so I was like I don't need any help there he's like I know but this is just so why is it building? up like so. So he was saying that like I could have definitely gotten food poisoning from that halal that I had, that street halal. And he's like, because that's meat that sits up for 12 hours a day. He's like, you really need to stop eating that. And I was like, but wasn't that so long ago? It was. So by the time I got x-rayed and stuff, it was a week prior, which it's pretty common, I think to have like, you like get through it after like seven days. Like that's the talent. Not for me. Not for a guy like me. But I got on antibiotics and things.

food poisoning? Yeah, well, they said that it could be like an infection from the food poisoning. Oh. And are you better now? No, God, no. You're still PNFing or it's different? We don't have to get into all that. Yeah, I'm not in like a great state of mind. Oh my God, Connor. I'm sorry. Maybe you should get a second opinion. I'm going to the gastroenterologist. That's good. So looking forward to reporting back on my medical experience. luckily I leave for New York City tomorrow and like fully have a full week of work like you might just be you might have like an ulcer from stress genuinely the doctor was like you seem stressed and I was like I'm pretty stressed but it's crazy that like my my health fear my health anxiety causes I think a lot of the things that I'm feeling sick about like

lack of sleep is contributing to all this like stomachache probably contribute like and it's about because I feel like I'm like there's no there's no tumor or ulcer in my poop like in my poop and farts is there all those bumps right there like you very well could just have anxiety because that's what happens with a metaphobia which is like you're so scared you're going to throw up that you actually start to feel nauseous and it just like is the cycle over and over and over again and that happens with so much health anxiety and that genuinely could be what's happening to you I think so luckily I won't be able to deal with it until after my shows in new york City this weekend.

It's Thursday right now. So my shows will be tomorrow to everybody listening. Oh, okay. Yeah, I was like, damn, Thursday already. I know. That's scary. Yeah. This one I really, I know you're always saying, like,

comedians do the same show. This one, I'm like, I want to write new stuff. And I do, like, a lot more crowd work now. So it's been really fun. So I think that I will have, like, a relatively newer set. I do feel for all the people that are going to be seeing the show for the third time, because people do keep going to the same show. But I do that with comedians that I love.

Yeah. I've seen that John Mulanee do the same set, like, 18 times. My friends that have come to several shows are like, that was so much better. So I kind of like when my friends comes, because they're like, that show. Like, I've seen the jokes, but like, you've developed them enough where, like, that was so much better. So I am thinking I'm going to stay, I'm going to see how much I can prep this week. And then, if not, like, I always have my long, plenty of long time to go. I have Grace O'Malley's doing the shows with me, Maggie Winters, and Jake Cornell, who's going to be a new.

president for me. Love. Yeah, it's going to be really, really fun. Oh, I'm excited for you. One thing I'm nervous about going out to NYC is I'm going out to NYC on Election Day. So by the time this comes out, like, we'll have a new president of the United States. Talk about stomach cake. So, so, yeah, let's manifest the right outcome. Of course. I'm nervous, like with, I'm not getting into anything. I'm nervous because I'll be flying into New York City, like, when the decision is made and I'm scared. And either way, there's going to be chaos probably. Like, Vladimir Putin's going to just, like, turn off all of, I don't know.

Like, I feel like it's like, I don't want to manifest anything like this. Like, hopefully it'll just be like awesome and celebratory and I'll just pretty much get it there and go to bed, which would be great. But I'm really scared that I'm going to land in like the city. Like Gotham. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, let's, we don't have to worry about it because it's all going to end up. It's all going to end up. I'm not going to be able to watch because I'll be on a flight. Oh, that's going. I never mind. I'm not going to say even one thing negatively in this space

that could influence the outcome of the election. I'm going to watch. No, I'm going to watch, genuinely I'm going to watch Lilo and Stitch and just be like, I'm watching Lilo and Stitch.

Yeah, you could always think that when you're watching Lilo and Stitch. Do you think that they're going to put it on the plane? Like, like they do with football games and like,

that's Super Bowl they put on the... Only some planes have like live TV. But if there's live TV, there's live TV. Oh my God. I'm scared to be. on a plane. I'm bummed that I am registered in California now

because my vote used to matter in Pennsylvania. Yeah, that is kind of crazy. Yeah. I know. I saw a lot of people flying to their home states to like get their voice heard, which I didn't have an option, like, because I got a California license

and so they register you here regardless. I mean, I have to get a new license soon. Why are the all of the prompts on the ballot and riddles? I am very, scared that I did something wrong for one of the props. It's confusing. Make it accessible.

Yeah. Make it accessible. I always think about all of the like local votes like when you go in and they're like here's all this stuff. Do people just skip that? Like if you're not informed? I think some people do. Yeah.

Because there were some stuff for Venice. But there's like a lot of good guides online which I realized that once I couldn't crack most of the riddles. Yeah. Yeah. So. Amazing. Yeah, it's amazing.

When's the last time you built a sandcastle? Um, probably like a minute. I've been, I like digging holes more. What? I'm more of a whole girl. Whoa, I never really would have pegged you as a hole girl. Really? Yeah, I kind of, I also don't picture you as a sandcastle girl because I feel like you'd be like,

I'm not doing all that. That's how, that is how, oh, I love a good drip. Castle. Those are fun. Yeah, I do see you as a drip castle girl. Yeah. But I used, like, when I was a kid, I was mostly eating the sand and looking for creatures. Oh my God. I hate the kids that collect like live crabs and they put them in a bucket. I'm like, they're dying in there. Yeah, they were dying. Yeah. And like every 10 feet, there's a pile of crab carcasses from like a kid who had them in his pale for eight hours at the beach. Well, you know, some kids might put a lot of sand in their bucket for the crabs. So.

They can live for an hour or so while the kids look at them. There was one time, this is a regret of mine that I lose sleepover. It was really, really low tide one year, one summer, and the tide had gone so far out that there was sand dollars everywhere. Are those the jellyfish? No, they're like rocks. Oh. But the sand dollars were everywhere, and I collected like genuinely 50 sand dollars,

and I took them home. Are they the slimy things? Oh, no. It's like stones. Oh, okay. But I've never seen that. You've never seen a sand dollar? No, I'm from the East Coast.

Invalid argument. I'm from the East Coast. We only have bagels. No. No, I'm saying we have these slimy circles, is what I'm saying. That's a jellyfish, yeah. But it's not active. They swim.

It's a dead, slimy circle. I don't think it's dead. I know what you're talking about, but they just like, they're alive. They don't stink or anything. Some jellyfish are truly just like jelly. Yeah, this was jelly. I got some by jellyfish when I was in Miami. Was it really bad?

But hang on, I want to tell this story about the sand dollars. So I collect 50 sand dollars. I'm not kidding. And I brought them all home and I was like, this is amazing. You're the one who brought up Miami. I want to finish my sand dollar story, Brooke. I'm just saying you started talking about something and then yelled at me. For someone that has absolutely no experience or knowledge of sand dollars,

You really are like not open to learning. No, I'm dying to hear about it. I just want to say you started going, I got stuck by a jellyfish in Miami, started going on that and it goes, and then you go, I want to finish my story about sand dollars, yelling at me.

Well, because you got me to the jellyfish chat. I didn't get, I didn't make you do anything. You're gaslighting me. No. Jellyfish style. Connor, please, I want to hear about the sand dollars. Okay, stop begging.

So there was. Not a good look on you. Desperation doesn't look good on you. Glenda. whoa. So I collect like 50 sand dollars and I take them home and I like look up like how to preserve sandalars

and I want to put these all around in the yard and then they start to stink. And then I realize sand dollars are alive and I absolutely just like laid them out in the sun and killed them all. Yeah. They're alive. They're living creatures.

Can we look up? Let's look into sand dollars a little bit. Like what the hell are sand dollars? Where is Google AI when you need it? Sand dollars like he's going to answer the same way I am. rocks. Okay. Sand all are living, moving in the sand. I see it like a little bit moves. It's like kind of like a sea creature. It genuinely looks like the slime balls that I used to collect. Can only so many people have not maybe seen a sand doll. I have never seen. Issey, can you Google are

there sand dollars or where are there sand dollars? Sand dollars native home? Sand dollars roots. Go ahead and read that for us. Okay. Sand dollars are found in tropical oil and temperate waters all over the world, including the Pacific Atlantic and Caribbean Ocean. just about everywhere you've ever been to a beach would have sand dollars. Is he can you Google are there sand dollars at the Jersey shore? No there's just hot dogs. Yeah, sand dollars are common at the Jersey Shore beaches. Ever, ever seen one.

Wow, maybe you just weren't looking. I was always hunting. I was a collector. You and me both. Yeah. Oh, I wish we could play together and we were a little and collect. Oh my gosh. My parents, if you literally call my dad right now and be like,

what was I like as a kid? They'd be like, your pants were always falling to your knees because your pockets were full of rocks. We would have to empty them when I would get in the car from school because they're like, we're not bringing any more pebbles home. I would literally go to like the sidewalk that was paved in pebbles and be like scoop, pocket, scoop, pocket.

I am a gatherer. You should have gone into geology. I could have. And I would have done marine biology. A geologist and a marine biologist walk into a bar. What do they say? Can we get two tequila sodas, please? We got work to do.

What would your name be if you were a marine biologist? Maybe Brooke. Oh, yeah. I forgot this isn't a fantasy. I was going to see, mine would be like Arch or something. Maybe honestly like Miriam. Arch and Miriam. A little bit more serious.

Yeah. Yeah. Arch and Miriam walk into a bar. Yeah. And they order. They're doing vodka sodas though. Yeah. Oh, my God, they are.

They totally are. I'm getting a mudslide actually. I almost might even do a whiskey. Oh my God. Or bourbon. Miriam is obsessed with bourbon. Arch has a fun side and he's going to have a mudslide because he doesn't have some. What's a mudslide?

It's just like a milky, frothy, chocolatey vodka drink. Arch would not do a mudslide. He would because he doesn't have. He likes to let loose like that? He doesn't have IBS. Oh, Arch doesn't have a mudslide. It's a fantasy, Brooke. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to take you down. In my fantasy, me, Arch, Arch, Arch is having a mudslide and then laying flat down and not worrying that he might pee the bee. Has Arch ever peed the bee? No, never. He wouldn't. He wouldn't. Oh, my gosh, he wouldn't.

He does love dogs. Is his mudslide almost non-alcoholic? No, it has alcohol. Because he's had a long day. He's discovered a rock. Yeah. Totally. He discovered a new kind of rock.

Would you be interested in digging for fossils? Yeah, I would love that. I've already said that on this show, I promise you. We can look at the transcripts. I'm not arguing. I thought I found fossils all the time. It was like dead. No, it was like dead rat bones because we had so many owls where I lived.

And so their owls would eat the like mice, I guess, like field mice and then just poop their bones out. And I'd be like, I found a fossil. Did you ever dissect an owl pellet? Yeah. How fun. We should do that. Really fun. I don't need to anymore.

Also, where was my sign seizure getting all those owl pellets? You can buy them in bulk. Where? Amazon. Are they just sitting in a warehouse? Someone is making a damn fortune being like, yeah, my owl is shitting so much, and I'm just selling these to eighth graders. Oh, they're shit? I always thought they would throw them up.

Oh, my God. Large owl. Like a hairball. I was thinking hairball. Large owl pellet bucket set of 50. You said you're a collector. I'll just do the set of 50. Oh, my gosh.

where where so can we um i just really quickly need to confirm or deny where where these are which which hole these are coming out of um how do owls let's google how do owls produce owl pellets yeah brooke let's like let's arch and miriam the shit out of this and be mature let's brook and connor would have googled do owl owl owl's shit or puke their pellets but arch and miriam how are they produced do ellet shit vomit combo come out of of their jugs or their butt butts. Owls have butts. Whoa.

But not butt cheeks. Oh my God, they might have butt cheeks. Can we type in naked owl? Wait, what is that say? Oh, yeah, owls produce owl pellets by regurgitating the industry. Okay, cool, yeah, that actually makes it tons of sense. The regurgitation process. Yeah, a naked owl, if you don't mind.

Just out, yeah, featherless owl, maybe because. Oh, that sucks to see. but I don't that doesn't answer your question about the cheeks Owl ass No Do you think we'll get flagged for Googling naked owl rear Rear end of owl No let's try

No see I think that they're probably protecting us It might be a visual that if we see we won't ever be able to unsee Do they decide yet if we can put cut tips in our ears That always going to be this like dark twisted guilty pleasure. You totally can, just not in the hole. Q-tips are meant

for cleaning out the surface area. You're not putting them in your hole? I am, but you're not supposed to. Oh my gosh. Like, figure it out.

They have. They're very clear about it. No, I'm saying make a Q-tip that we can put in our hole. They have. The ones that are skinny at the bottom

and then they get big like a cotton ball so they can't go in the hole. It's kind of funny that we just... Assuming your ear holes are tight. Hard to say. I haven't gotten a second opinion.

I have small little ear holes. Do you? Yeah. I do. Some earphones don't fit. Oh, damn. A lot of people might not know that. No idea, Brooklyn.

Yeah, a lot of people are on it. There's going to be some freaks that jerk off that you're saying that by the way. Ew, Connor. I'm just telling you, like, that's how the internet works. There was, like, no reason for that to come out of your mouth. No, like, there's freaks. are lying brook no i know i do know that at the end of the day and like out of context what you said is okay i won't talk about my ear holes again well we've brought up several types of holes today you said

you're more of a whole girl wait why did i say that i said girls what was the context for me saying girls are broken into two categories sand castle girl and hole girl oh yeah i am i'm more of a i'm more of a castle girl myself did you like when people buried you in a hole Yeah, I didn't get offered to be buried that often. I don't know what that says about... Yeah, I guess I didn't either, but I wouldn't. You wouldn't be buried? I think I would feel like too claustrophobic.

I feel like I would love that. Not deeply buried, but just kind of lightly buried. Or like I would be scared that like a creature would get at me from the bottom. Sand fleas? Yeah. Or worse. Worms. Something, yeah, something worse. Max lets me bury him.

Not fully, but like, yeah, he lets me like cover his. Oh my God, speaking of Max. I met Mimi this weekend. Oh, yeah, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my memy. Just as just as, just as perfect as I was expecting. That was super sweet. It was so weird, so I figured, like, she was coming up to, did she come up to you? Yes.

Yeah. Like, what an honor. That was super cute. Yeah. I love, I love her. I love that girl. She's so funny. She was having so much fun at the, at the, at the baby shower.

Can you say that now? Yeah, cousin Logan is pregnant. I posted it, so I hope. Uh-huh. Cousin Logan's pregnant and she's like seven months pregnant. Yeah, she's due in January. And she might be early due. That's what the doctor was saying.

Oh, early due? Yeah, early due. Early due. Wow. That's crazy. I probably won't see her again until she has the baby. I was thinking the same thing is I'm going to be on tour and then maybe Christmas, I guess. Yeah.

But if she goes early due mode, then I won't have seen her. That's always such a weird relationship, the cousin and the cousin's kid, because it's like, what do you call? your cousin uncle. I'll be uncle for all these kids. Right. For sure. Right. That makes sense to me, but like technically you're not, which never makes sense.

Like my mom's cousins, like not like being my cousin too, never made sense to me. Like just be my uncle. Yeah. You know? Well, because they're just not related. Well, because they're just like not my age. They're more of an uncle age. You know what's funny is I didn't grow up with anyone that was like so close to my parents that they called them my aunt or my uncle.

Really? Yeah. Isn't that weird? Oh my God. Everyone was aunt or uncle. I yearn for an honorary Anna uncle. Like, I yearn for that. No, Connor, I would be like 11 and my dad would be like, here's uncle Phil.

I've never met Uncle Phil. So how was he uncle? Like, was this your brother? No, I mean, like, I did know it wasn't his brother. But like he was doing uncle to like way everyone was uncle. Instead of like Mr. or Mrs. almost. Yeah. Yeah.

But I did have a lot. A lot of people call me Uncle Phibs, which is what, which is so funny. Yeah. And sometimes I'm like, oh, we're not that close. But I'll be your kid's uncle. Uncle Phibs. People without kids are calling you Uncle Phibs? No.

Oh. I thought you meant just like people in a bar or something. No, no adult people come up to me and say, you're my uncle. Okay. We're so close that you're my uncle. Yeah. Well, Uncle Phibs, like, it's like Uncle Cracker, the musician. Maybe when I get older and there's a, maybe I'll have a younger fan base and they'll

call me that's a really scary thought to be older than a group of people who could be like a younger and like appropriately listening to like this podcast maybe like maybe my stand up and stuff and be like oh we think of you as our as our elders yeah an elder comedian icon like someone I someone I look up to you know right oh I like obviously I'm gonna say I hate this I obviously you don't hate it. It's so sweet. Because aging is a blessing. People are like, no, I look up to you so much. Like, just look at me.

Don't look up. Hit me at eye level. Just look at me right at eye level. I don't need a reminder that I'm older than so many people. But thank you. That's so sweet. It's so sweet. Shut the hell up and just get on.

Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. But lift yourself up by your bootstraps. Just yourself off. And look at me in my eyes. That's something. people have been saying to me recently.

Look me in the eyes? No, they've not said, look me in the eyes. My least favorite thing to people comment. And like, at first I was like, that's funny. I can dig it, but I've obviously, it's the end of a quarter. And for influencers, but you definitely have noticed, you start, companies and brands start working heavily with people. And like, you start getting some inbounds and it's the end of the year.

And so I've been posting a couple ads here and there. people have been commenting, oh, rent must be due. And I'm like, it's the first of the month of course. It's due for you too. Right. Imagine if I was outside of the ER before I was going in for my x-ray and the radiologist walks up for her shift at the urgent care. And I said, oh, rent must be due.

You know, like, yeah, because I don't work. Yeah. Right, you have to work. People have to work so they can pay their rent. Yeah. Me going, me outside of a classroom, teacher walking in. Oh, rent must be due. each get in yeah that's a really good point that's a really good point oh it's just such a

you just start responding to those comments i did i said i said they said rent must be doing i said yeah it's october 30th it's due in two days yeah probably pay yours too yeah um so i was i've been with my parents so much recently have you noticed that no i don't think so and then i did my shows in Atlanta and then i went straight to boston oh okay and my dad can't get off instagram reels Why? Why should he be expected to? No, it's fun. It's his right. But he will be laughing in the other room and like what's going on. And it's like fully like an AI generated video, which is somebody, but he came into the room.

And I want to ask you another question about this room. Do you have a room in your house? Hang on. I'm sitting in the room in our house that like is not a usable room. It's like a fake room. I don't know how to explain it. And then he comes up in and he goes, oh my gosh, Connor. Wow.

look at this. What do you mean? It's a fake room. I'll tell you a second. He goes, oh my gosh, Connor. Wow. Like, look at this. Puppy the size of three large men.

And they're holding it with chains. I go, what, what, what are you, what's the, what's your, what's your, what, are you in awe of this? And like, like, I don't even know. I could tell he was like, look, they're making new dogs. Like, I could tell he was thinking that. Like, and he said they're making, but didn't want to say it out. And I fully was like, wait, I needed. know if you're being he was testing the waters i think he was being like

he's being like he's doing his toe in is this real cutest like it was literally clifford the big red dog yeah i was like do you think this is real he's like oh i mean i don't know like no no no no no it is a giant i have a i'll put the visual and you have to see this absolutely massive puppy that they're holding they're holding down with with chains that they would hold an elephant with It's getting really hard to differentiate what's real and what's not. It really, really is. Because it's going back to that. Like, I'm scared my pants are going to get scanned by that.

Jennifer Anderson. Hi, I'm Jennifer Anderson from the show Friend. And I'm giving away a thousand MacBook Pro. I miss her. Me too. She's one of my favorites. It's also getting scared. Me and Izzy were talking today when we're coming in about like all of these class actions,

like the jewel class action lawsuit. How everyone's like, wow, anytime these people, pop up coming up in the future. Like, I am going to sign up for every single one. And now, is he's getting ads for like these fake class action lawsuits where you type in all your information? And like, they're going to get my ass for sure. Because I'm going to try to get in.

I bet there's going to be a huge ozambic one in a few years. I like, don't want to say that because it's space. But it's scary. Any drug that is new. I also have been getting from all sides of the political spectrum. text from people being like, help me. Don't eat $5 to my campaign. And I'm like, who are you?

I don't even know. I've never seen your name. What happened that put, I got six spam calls. I think political spam calls today. Is that going to stop when the election happens or no? It'll stop. Or are they going to be like,

hey, it's me, Kamala Harris. I'm having breakfast. What are you doing? Can I have a dollar? I don't get it because I made it out completely unscathed, like didn't get one spam caller text. And then I, voted like three days ago and ever since I voted I've been being swarmed with text. So I'm like,

how does, what? How did this just start once I already voted? I don't know. The second I voted I started getting it. I heard there was something with like a new bill that was passed that like reallowed everybody's numbers to be put back into the calling system. So you do have to actually go into do not call list.com or something like playing your information. Obviously very easy thing to do. Obviously something I can't get myself to do. Goes without saying. I do kind of like the. I do kind of like the. attention. Like when my phones, sorry, I'm getting a call and I absolutely says spam risk and I'll take it later. Yeah, I don't really love it. I do like my phone would kind of be dry if I didn't get those calls all day. Oh, bone, dry. Bone dry. Yeah, but I'd almost rather be bone dry than all those. All the fake

outs. Yeah. Well, mine is, my, my, my notifications I get all day from start to finish, sexual, sexual offender two blocks, lives two blocks away from you. And I get like eight. And I get like of those a day. And then there's someone at your ring. There's someone at your ring. There's someone at your ring. There's someone at your ring. And it's obviously like my neighbor's walking by. So I need to figure out how to turn that down. And then like, hey, please vote for me. Right. I keep getting. I also, because I travel so much, like I'm now signed up for like, um, Alpharetta Georgia Reddit. Hey, what's this, what's this new stop sign? I'm like, because it's like picking up on my geography. So. What do you want to talk about? I want to talk about Martha Stewart. I watched it last night. I didn't watch anything. But I just want to talk about,

did you see what she said about Ryan Reynolds? What she said? She was like, I know him in real life and like he's not funny. Like he's just serious. When did she say that? Like recently. Their neighbors or something and she was like, yeah, like everyone thinks he's funny. He's a very serious guy.

He's not funny at all. Does she like him? It would appear no. But then he responded to her. This was a lot. on Twitter. He responded to her and I don't understand his response at all. Everyone's like Ryan Reynolds claps back and I'm like, I don't get what he's saying. He's saying, well, Martha said he's not so, sorry, Izzy, can you make it a little bigger? He's not so funny in real life. No, he's not so funny. He's

very serious. He's a good actor. He can act funny, but he isn't funny. And then Ryan Reynolds says, I disagree with her, but I tried that once. The woman is unexpectedly spry. She really closed the gap after a mile or so. So is he saying she chased him? No, yeah. He's saying I disagree with her, but I tried that once. And then she chased him? Yeah.

That's not funny. I actually like feel like I learn a lot from Ryan Reynolds because it's like, okay, not everything needs to be like a little bit, you know? Every single thing. And I used to think it was so funny like for their birthday, him and Blake lively for their birthday. It's like, happy birthday to this one. And then it's like only pictures of him.

And I was like, that's funny. But it's funny once. Right. You know? Every year, really, it's like, it's like when people used to post that screenshot of like, this is the best feature Apple has ever come out with. And it's like when the password autopopopulates on a website that you've been on. Or like when you get texted a code in it, it's like, yeah, we've seen that.

And we agree with you. But like, I've seen this 18 times. And now I hate you. Yeah. You know? Yeah, I got it. I get it. And I have felt this.

I mean, I know he probably, I genuinely think he probably. took seven hours to like come up with that. And I bet he's like this. Yeah. Send. Oh, do you think he types it or do you think he has a team of? No,

I think he typed that. He definitely doesn't have any Gen Z people on his social media team. I think this was all him, I think. I would love to know what happened to prompt Martha to pop off like that. Did you? So you haven't seen her document? No, tell me about it.

You got to watch that. Wait, why was she arrested again? Was she embezzling? Insider trading. Okay. Which there's a lot of nuances to stay insider trading. I wouldn't say that I don't. I would never ever make the claim that like I don't think she insider traded.

I think she didn't. I think a lot of billionaires do. I think that is like really something that happens. And I've always just been like, yeah, of course that happens. Politicians, billionaires, all these people. Like they obviously are friends with other people that are like, I know this information. And those people that know that information can just like drop it at dinner. and then the billionaires can be like, hey, let's get rid of the stock

because I really got a vibe from XYZ at supper that this is not going to be good next week. And that's what she says happened, that she got this information, like, they had never talked. Is this in the dock? Yeah. So, like, watch it and like, see, this is like the first time I've heard it, explained. She was only in jail for 150 days.

How long was she supposed to be? Like, that was her sentence. Oh. So. Obviously that would be horrible. Any amount of time in jail is unimaginable. Wasn't she in one of those like boozy ones though? They called it something like Cupcake Palace or something.

Yeah. It was like really, but they put her in solitary confinement for a time because she like brushed up against the guard at some point. She was like, I was scared. They can't provide you with any protection. But then she was also like, yeah, and then I brought all my books. And I met this woman in the garden and I helped her like make the garden. And then I would have little cucumber sandwiches for everyone over to my cell.

And I was like, oh, that sounds like just like a neighborhood, maybe. and it sounds like you were just like hanging out with friends. Party almost. But I don't totally get it. And it was 150 days. It was almost kind of like going to rehab. Hmm. But her story is really interesting.

I had no idea. Oh, I didn't either. What else is it about? I don't want to give too much away because it was actually really interesting to watch. But I did end the show feeling really bad for Martha Stewart. Oh, bad for her? Yeah. Are you like a big Martha fan now?

I didn't know anything about the woman. I don't either. I don't know anything about her. It was interesting to me. I just can't believe she's in her 80s. I'm not going to be able to provide any insight. Like the stuff I've had interesting is like the stuff that the information they gave you in like the details. And I'm not even to say that part.

But it was interesting like how much how like pivotal a lot of the things that happened to her like the roast of Justin Bieber. Which like I was like, oh yeah, she did that. And like that was her start of friendship with Snoop Dog. And Snoop Dog and her, their friendship brought her back into the zeitice and like we made her like a huge, huge successful. brand again. Really? Isn't that bizarre? Yeah. It was it was really scary to me to see like basically when she went to jail because her whole brand was based around her name and her. She was the CEO of the company. Uh-huh. And it was like a billion dollar company, which I had no idea. When she went to jail, it like lost all credibility. They're like she's in jail. Someone else is running this company. It's called Martha Inc. You know? Right. And so she lost a billion, like literally a billion dollars, which is crazy. And then started doing a brand deal after brand deal after brand deal after brand. She was everywhere and it was like decreasing the value of her company more because she's like And she was like the original influencer. Damn.

Yeah, she did it partnership with Kmart. Okay, I'll have to watch. It was really interesting. It made me, it did make me sad. And it honestly like the end of it is like I didn't get any closure from this. I can't imagine how she feels. She just seems like really lonely. Oh, I saw her say something that's like I've never been vulnerable with anyone in my life.

and I'm fine with it. Or something along those lines, she said. She's like a really bigoted, abusive father. Oh, that's sad. Yeah. Damn. And her husband, her husbands were all like really unfaithful. Oh, just like cheating on her the whole time.

Oh, my God. I didn't know about Marth. I know. And it's always so sad to like look like when older people look back on their life and they're like, oh. Like being a billionaire too and being like, oh, yeah. Like it wasn't fulfilling. Do you want to hear something that's a little bit? uplifting. I was going to suggest maybe we switch gears. I saw this tweet that was like I was sitting

by my grandmother's bedside as she died. And the last thing she said was, I had so much fun. Did you just get goosebumps? Yeah. Me too. Period. I had so much fun. I had so much fun. And seen. And seen. You know what's so scary, Brooke? What? First of all, well said. Like sometimes less is more. And that I had so much fun. Those five words hold so much value. you and wait for me personally because I was carving pumpkins last week and I was sitting there and I was like my dumb stupid pumpkin with this big smile on its face just having the time of its life being present in the moment I was like oh wow like that pumpkin just reminded me like the point is to be present and enjoy it and have fun right like it's not that nothing's that serious do you ever

think about like do think live your life so that you will be that woman on on your deathbed I had so much fun you can say period on God um I would literally say on God in response to her. I would say checkmate. Wait, no, not to her. I wouldn't say checkmate to her. I would say on God to her. Yeah.

Yeah. I always think about the fact that, like, one of my Instagram post is going to be the last Instagram post. Like, I hope it's not like me being like, I'm hungry, you know, like, I'm hungry. Craving Thai food, period. Like, imagine if those were my last journal entry. Well, you've never posted anything.

like that before. Sometimes I kind of just like. Want to? Like Jake Shane just like in feed. I'm starving. All the time I want to do that. I know. But then I take a picture of my face and I'm like that that ain't right.

That doesn't look right. Take picture my face. That ain't right. And then I take so many pictures. I'm like, I hate Instagram. And then I close it out and I'm like I shouldn't have done that anyways. Like every time I'm tired or like my stomach hurts, I always want to tell people. But then it's like if I did that, like that would be the account.

That would be it. So you have to hold back. I'm tired. should know. Stomach hurts. I'm tired. Stemmer hurts. I'm tired.

Stomach hurts. Hungry. People have the right to know. I think that's what Instagram stories are for. But also Jakes or cat is just like really special. Yeah. I struggle between like fuck it and like I want curation, which is so disgusting. And I shouldn't have said that.

Just try and have fun. Brooke, that is such a, I had so much fun period. With my green hands. Yeah. Yeah, that's my pussy's green. I do want to say daylight savings. We're back here again. The clock stepped back.

Wait, forward? Back. Back an hour. Back an hour. We get an extra hour. Yeah. And why? We're back here again.

Last night I was like, whoa, I'm having lunch. And I guess it's also dinner. And the way my body operates, it's like, this is no wonder like I start to gain weight like an animal going into hibernation when when this time change happens because my body still operates like a cock or spaniel like I see the sun go down and I go oh dinner but I'm up for another five hours so I have to have dinner too completely so it's like now I'm eating two dinners but I'm still operating under the circadian rhythm of like sun's up breakfast time you know lunch lunch too dinner you just have to switch it up and go by

time. Like, I don't want to operate. And instead of having dinner one, make that afternoon snack. Smaller scale meal. Or you could truly just do what most, what a lot of people do and just free feed, which is like grazing all day, not necessarily three meals a day. Free feed, huh? Yeah, that's what Jonathan does.

Your cat or the man? It's like when he's hungry. My cat. Oh my God, I have to ask you something. Yeah. I'm going to the Wicked Premiere. Yeah, I'm supposed to go on Saturday. I was supposed to be in the music video

You're supposed to be in the video? Yeah I'm going to the Wicked Premiere on Saturday I obviously don't think I'm going to get any I don't expect any face time with anyone But if I do get face time with Jonathan Bailey Yeah Should I tell him I named my cat after him or is that weird

And keep in mind he's the greatest guy in the world I think like a great sense of humor Great personality No one has ever had a bad word to say about Personal decision for you obviously But like If someone can't came up to you at Disney and said, Brooke, I named my cat Brooke.

Like, where would your head go? I think that's a good litmus test. Is that someone you would want to, like, see more than once? That's a good, it's a good question. I also think it's different because, like, he's so famous. So it, like, makes sense more to have a cat named after him than a cat named after me. I don't think so. I do. Okay.

So I should not tell him? You have your answer. No, tell him if you want to. What should I say, then? If not, I named my cat after him. you. What else is there to say? You should go on my podcast. No, Connor. It's worked so far a couple times coming up. What? Coming up. We have a surprise guest coming up in the next couple weeks. Oh, oh, oh, oh, yes. Like a really awesome one. Yes, I thought you were doing a bit and then I remembered that

it's true. It is true and potentially more than one too because of the the developments over Halloween night, which shouldn't have happened while I was on my like third spiked apple cider. What happened? I sent you a screenshot. No, you didn't. Of someone, an individual who got back to me. Oh, no, I don't. Yeah, okay.

Sam. Obviously, it's not going to happen right now, but that will be interesting. Yeah, watch the space out. Okay, well, I think we leave you. It's such a weird kind of anticlimatic ending to this show. today, I feel like maybe there's more to be

said in the bonus. We could always do that. Yeah. But thank you guys so much for listening. It's so nice to be here with prosthetics on my nose and my chin. I feel like I'm at home. And this is my first time

ever getting glam and wearing fake lashes. Your lashes look great. Actually, every time you've blinked, I've felt a breeze. Really? Yeah. A little flutter? A little flutter.

It feels like hummingbirds are in my hole. Wow. Mm-mm. You brought hole into this. It was safe when I did it. That was an intentional hole usage. I think you need to maybe take a page out of my book and be more intentional with your holes.

We'll see you in the bonus. Peace out. This week on close friends. The aim is to achieve orgasm. So you do like come. To close off practice. If you could go back to one moment in your life to relive, would it be the bagel? It would be the bagel ten minutes ago.

My pussy is green. What? You can swindle a pussy. I think I'm going to start. I could see you with a globe. Wait, I love Matt. Luckily, I have ring. Ooh.

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