Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - The Best Post Nut Clarity

Episode Date: July 6, 2023

MERCH: http://bncmerch.com  Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://tmgstudios.tv  This week, we are all going to the lobby and getting ourselves a treat! Brooke and Connor compare sizes, unpack questionable family relationships, and embrace the beauty of Parisian mornings. And later, they are diving into some more of your “AITA” questions.   Highlights Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/BrookeAndConnorHighlights  Email us at [e-mail] !! If you listen on Apple Podcasts, go to: https://apple.co/bandc On Tinder, it starts with a Swipe. Download Tinder today and explore all of the possibilities for yourself. Go to https://HelloFresh.com/bandc50 and use code bandc50 for 50% off plus free shipping! Try Truly Hard Seltzer today and see what the Lightly Fantastic life is all about. Please drink responsibly. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. 0:00 Let’s All Go To The Lobby! 1:48 Intro 2:21 The Best Movie Snack Debate 4:48 Reviewing The New Transformers Movie 7:15 Sexy Transformers? 9:05 The Real Adult Struggle 10:57 Connor’s Restless Night 11:53 Tinder 13:09 Connor’s Weird Dream 14:10 Shrimp = The Bug Of The Sea 15:34 Eating Bugs and Stuff 18:44 Peeing Out Kidney Stones 19:58 Comparing Sizes… 21:20 Surviving Kidney Stones 23:12 The Best Vitamin Routines  24:14 HelloFresh 26:53 I Want To Swallow Your Seed 29:16 Connor’s Pizza Review 32:03 Calling Connor’s Mom 33:22 Baby Name Drama 36:38 Our Alter Egos 37:45 Protect Your Peace 38:17 Truly Hard Seltzer 41:15 Is Brooke The A-Hole? 45:06 Ranking The A-Holes 48:30 AITA: Road Tripping With Friends 50:18 Avoiding Confrontation 51:47 AITA: Calling The Police On An Ex 54:28 Confrontations Gone Bad 57:09 Fuzz Is EVERYWHERE 58:49 AITA: Stealing Mail 1:00:11 Shoplifting Guilt 1:01:06 Weird Family Relationships 1:03:33 Connor’s Mom Calls Back! 1:05:12 Normalize Being Blunt 1:05:45 The Best Post Nut Clarity  1:07:42 AITA: Being Annoyed 1:09:00 GF Won’t Watch Lion King??? 1:11:41 Billy Murray and Kelis Dating 1:12:29 The Best Movie Soundtrack 1:13:27 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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No, I know what it is. I just, it's weird you were singing and I was like, no, but do you know with the little like cups and the popcorn and they're all animated? I'm sure when I see it, it's going to send me. They're actually going to the lobby. Why were they going to the lobby? They're going to the lobby to get themselves a treat before the movie stop.

But there are the cups and they're the can. They should go to trash. Okay. I can sing it. Okay, actually I don't know if I can, but I'll give it my best shot. Well, let's just play the let's all go to the lobby thing and we'll see if it's copyrighted. We'll have to cut it out. But I think it's a good reminder to everybody.

Let's all go to the lobby. Connor? I think it's a good, there's so much division in the world today, but you know we're one place we can all meet up? I think I've got a feeling. It's the lobby. Yeah. That's a good name for a bar. The lobby.

Yeah, I'm sure it is one. Not even the lobby bar, just the lobby. Who, who, who. The lobby, parentheses under it, let's all go. No, slogan, let's all go. Yeah, hit it. Give me a beat. Let's all go to the lobby.

Let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the lobby to get ourselves a treat. Delicious things to eat. The popcorn can't be beat. The sparkling drinks are just dandy. DJs will play anything. before a drop. They should remix this 100%. It's good without any remix.

To get ourselves a treat. That's a nice lobby. The lobby be at this note. To get ourselves a treat. Banger. It's so good. It's so good. Hey, Brooke.

Hi, Connor. Are you ready to MAP? I'm ready to pee. Ignorance is bliss. I'm living in a world of my own and it's awesome. Oh, I thought I was responsible for 9-11 when I was five. Where were you? In Pennsylvania.

Touch grass, might I suggest. We're just going to dive right in today. Like, what a great little serotonin boost at kickoff. That's a great way to start. Yet another episode of BNC MAP. Welcome back, guys. It's another great day of saving the BNC MAP. This is kind of like a lobby.

Yeah. Thanks for everybody for coming. for coming to the lobby. Real quick. Time to get yourselves a treat. I'd encourage it. Yeah. Maybe some popcorn or candy or drunk.

Or maybe get some licorice. Yeah. What's your go-to snack? Liquorice or rishish or paces? What kind of licorish? Like the licorice kind or the fake? We're a Red Vines family. Oh, oh.

So like a Twizzler vibe. I was talking about more like the liquor. Hang on. Hold on. I wasn't even getting into those specifics. I was getting into like the Twizzler Red Vine versus the actual like licoricey taste. Let me stop you right there.

Licorish and Twizzlers. They're not, it's actually not licorish Twisler. Different, different phenotypes. Yeah. That's what I was getting at. That's what I was getting at. Yeah. I wasn't asking about the Red Vine Twisler debate.

You said, oh, you mean like Twizzlers? No, I didn't. Yeah. Like Twizzlers means red vines as well. That's the category versus like the liquorish. No, the category is wrong. No. Because that's not true.

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on. You're not getting out of here. You're not getting out of here unscathed. What's your go-to? What's your... They taste like Twizzlers. No, they don't. It tastes completely different. By the way, the licorice... Like so. Lickrish. Liquorice stands. Give Brooke some patience because clearly she... I don't really love either, to be honest. Like, I would... I just like chocolate. Like, I'm not a candy person. Well, I have to go one or two ways because it's either I'm in the... mood for this or that? I'm always in the mood for chocolate. Chocolate?

Yeah, chocolate. I remember when they first invented chocolate. Chocolate! I always hated it! But yeah, I'm never choosing candy over chocolate. Oh, well, what do you get? You got to tell us.

Peanut M&Ms. Okay, I get that. Yeah. They just go too fast for me. I was actually crazy the other day and I got dried mango. Oh, I get that. Oh, I love her.

That is something that you should consider getting tattooed on your leg. I would get Imagine getting that so, so tiny Like so tiny that people need a microscope Oh, that'd be, that's cool. Yeah, that's kind of hot. So yesterday I went to the movies

And I saw Transformers. Is there a new one? There is a new one. Who's in those nowadays? None of our business. I don't know. I don't know who they are. None of our business.

I don't know. I'll tell you who's not in it. Shil above. Megan Fox. still Michael Michael Bay's old ass is still directing Oh that's why you had a dream about Transformer Yeah that's why I said that was the only thing

That made sense in the dream I didn't pick that out Oh Anthony Ramos he was in Hamilton Yeah he was the main character With him and this other girl And I can't remember what her name was Dominique Fishback Yeah

And she was really good They were both really good But I will tell you I have trouble with movies Made for Children Because there are so many plot holes Yeah, probably because they're made for children And they're not going to be thinking

Too hard about those specific I was like Every time, you know The portal opens up What was it rated? Is it actually made for children? I thought they were like PG-13 There was a lot of violence It's PG-13

If you don't think about it too much But like if you're thinking about it Like tons of people are dying in this movie Like tons but they just don't show it I'm like okay People die in Disney movie Nine cars just flipped over And crash off a bridge

and we're just moving on. Right. That's like a genuine tragedy. Well, I'm sure kids nowadays think that they're just like robot, unatominated. Onotominated, right? I think the whole movie was onitominated. But I, the thing was like, I was like, okay,

like, this robot is from, this robot is the destroyer of worlds and speaks English randomly. Please be for real. What else would it speak? Bebop. Well, the robots are very advanced nowadays, Connor.

They just, I don't know. Megan was a robot. She was fluent in all the languages. But she was like AI and she was taught that. These ones are like ancient. These robots were like, where your past future. It just genuinely like... Two hours and seven minutes, that's way too long.

You're telling me. Yeah. And you cannot get on your phone. I'll tell you what. The Transformers fans are really adamant that you don't. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's the destroyer of worlds on the screen.

Oh, okay. If it wasn't clear. And the movie was set in mostly Peru. Okay. That's where they have guinea pigs. Yeah. There was one. When I started figuring out that it was made for children is when they went,

when they got to Peru and there was one of, okay, the English was one thing, but when they get to Peru and one of the other robots rolls up. Yeah. Who is from Peru. Yeah. And start speaking English? With a Peruvian accent.

I actually can't stand that when they have movies that take place in other countries and just everybody's speaking English. And no, he had a Peruvian accent too. And they gave him glasses. And he's a robot. Right. Like fix his eyes. Just see better. Yeah.

I don't even think the glasses have frames. Okay. So that was a little bit of pep-peev. And then they made like the girl robot, like attractive, which is so weird. Like they gave her like. Like green em-and-end, kind of vibe. And like, yeah. What made her attractive, Connor?

If she had like a full, like all the, all of the, like, what specifically were you attracted to? She had a face. They gave her a face. Like, I'm not, I don't know how else to say it. They gave her, all these other robots, like, they have faces, but they gave her, like, lips, like, bodeges. But you were attracted to her bodacious.

They gave her, like, they gave her juicy. They gave her juicy metal lips. Like, I don't know what I. And they gave her boobs. Yeah. Are you kidding? I don't know if those are. boobs as much as they are.

It's like a protective chest piece. Yeah, that covered robot boobs. I'm sorry, please. Yeah, no. She is, they conventionally attractive. Okay, and the main characters... Very sharp cheek, but... The main characters...

Yes. The main character's name is Optimus Prime. And then that gorilla, that guerrilla in the back, his name is Optimus Primal. Oh, that's hot. And I think they're brothers from another... Mother. mother, of course, because they look different.

Yeah. So that was that. I obviously got up several times to check my phone, so I, like, had three slushies. Yeah. Can we look up the sugar in one slushy? Oh, I can't even know. I did not even, never even, never even crossed my mind. You know what getting old is, realizing that drinks have nutrition, like, calories and sugar and stuff?

Like, when you're young, you think, like, water, everything's water. You know? Well, I'm like, I'm at the movies. Obviously, I'm going to get a slushy, and I'm going to refill it. Yeah. Serving size 12. I did not have the 12 fluid ounce one.

I had, okay, so there's 24 grams sure. I think, I think, I think, that's for a 12. I definitely had at least a 24. Yeah, because I got the medium-sized soda. Ran right to the slushy machine filled it up. How many carbs, not carbs, sugar. So it's 24 grams of sugar. I think that, I think you're supposed to have as an adult 27 grams of sugar.

A day? A day. Does that include fruit? I think technically, yeah. But I think of it as added sugar because I don't think of fruit sugar, natural sugar, as being harmful for me. I don't know if it is.

We need a nutritionist on the pod. Oh, Brooke, yeah. Funny one. Yeah. I don't want to be braided. Yeah. No, I just want... Because I'm about to say that I had three icies.

Yeah. And so I had... I'm probably still hyper from my slushies last night. Did your parents ever make you go to nutritionist? Mm-mm. My mom was a self-proclaimed

nutritionist and is. Right. Oh, same. So. But before that, I had to go to one. That's, so sorry to interrupt.

I want to hear about your nutrition. That's Pablo in the front who spoke English with a Peruvian accent. And I don't even know if it was a Peruvian accent, but it was like

in an accent and they were in Peru. Right. So you're nutritionist. That was it. Okay. I just had to go to one. Anyway,

so when I got home, So I saw that movie. I finished my slushy at probably like 9.40 p.m. And I got home by like 10.30 and like showered, got in bed. I'm in bed at 11. I didn't fall asleep until like 2 in the morning. Yeah. And I'm tossing and turning.

And then I'm like, oh, I'm hearing gunshots out the waz. Forget it's like 4th of July weekend coming up. So I think people are like testing their fireworks. Right. but I like couldn't feel I couldn't help but feel like I was that white person meme like white person in a neighborhood was that fireworks or gunshots and they're sitting in like white picket fence like two story right like good luck Charlie house yeah but we've also been getting like a lot of shootings I wouldn't tell you live in the good luck Charlie yeah yeah like I was like oh no that could be right so I don't know what was going on last night is it you were in one of my dreams last night oh I'm too We went to New Orleans. We all went to New Orleans. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it was really fun until it just cut to a scene of me, and I was just in like a swimsuit in the middle of New Orleans, no shoes, nothing, like trying to get home and I was lost. And then it just cut to another scene where I was growing shrimp tails out of all my top row of my front teeth. That's a stress dream. And I was like, I don't even like shrimp. Yeah, I know.

That's stress dream. And shrimp tails freak me out I'm like, why are they growing out of my teeth? That's stressful. If you're growing shrimp out of your teeth That's a reason for concern Yeah But isn't it like losing your teeth is like a classic stress dream?

So maybe you're like pleasure and pain Like where's where do you draw the line? Is this business or pleasure? Yeah There's a fine line between pleasure It's like I have a shrimp cocktail An unlimited supply coming on my teeth But you know they should just be teeth

That is wild to me that you don't like Like a classic shrimp cocktail I love that other people enjoy it, you know? I love viewing it from afar. I'm not going to suck out the body of a shrimp. I'm not going to suck off the shrimp. I love shrimp. I think that's like my favorite fish.

Is it a fish? I think it's a bug. No, it's a shellfish. Which is a bug of the sea. A bug of the sea, right? Say it again, there's really no difference besides being underwater between a shrimp and a cockroach. Yeah, there is, just in terms of nutritional value. We've had this conversation, so we have to fast forward, right?

Right? Yeah. Because I was about to say, should we look up the nutritional value of a cockroach? No, we haven't done that. Okay. So I think it's, can we see if it's available? People do, some people, some communities do eat cockroaches. Yeah, I'm sure.

So let's check it out. Let's dive right in. There's no other podcast doing it like us, by the way. Okay, what's your hypothesis? I think that maybe not American cockroachers. Reich, cockroaches. I don't know if they have as much nutritional value as, like, a fat ass cockroach from, like, South America that, like, they eat, like a hissing cockroach. Right.

Have you ever eaten, like, a cricket and stuff like that? Let me. Hell no. I have. At the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. It's like a science museum that we have to go on a field trip to every year. and one year we were all eating bugs and stuff. Oh my God.

Not one cockroach being 264 calories. Oh my God. Why? Is that like healthy fat? I'm not exactly sure. So sorry. That's for 150 grams of cockroaches. Oh, which is how many cockroach?

Can we do one gram of cockroaches? Because we know what one gram of like weed feels like. That's not like it's a different kind of ballgame. No, one gram is one gram. That's a unit of measurement. Is it? Okay. So, Cocker's a calorie.

Probably. Yeah. Oh my God. It's kind of like a healthy alternative to other bugs. No, bugs are good for you. Okay, how about shrimp? Tramp. Isn't that the guy that wrote that Metamorphosis book?

I'm not sure why his name's here, but yet he wrote. Oh. So, okay. That's so interesting. Okay. One gram. So one cow. Actually.

Shrimp is a good, like, low calories. Snack. Snack. So is a cockroach in comparison? So depending on where you live, you can dive into either of those dishes tonight. To each their own. A cockroach cocktail sounds delicious.

Okay. And I'm hungry thinking about it. Yum. Yumb-bo. Sucking the body out of a cockroach. Sounds good to me. I wouldn't yuck your yum, so. I wouldn't either to yours.

You can track the macros of your cockroaches via my fitness pal. Well, great. That's good to know. I mean, it's cool. It's kind of cool to think about things like that. I always get confused why people don't eat like pigeons or doves. There's so many of them. They do.

Do they? Everyone eats something somewhere. Yeah, I'm talking about like New York City if you had to eat like a pigeon. I think it's probably just like, you know how like familiarity breeds like contempt? Is that the saying? There's just like so many pigeons that like you just like aren't. No thanks. Wow.

Wow, like a seagull. I've seen some big, juicy seagulls in my day, and I'm like, Wow. I could eat that. Yeah. Majority see insects as future food. Totally. 82% not prepared to include them in their diet yet, research shows.

That's a 20-23 study. 58% of people believe that insect consumption could become an alternative and sustainable source of protein and part of regular diets. I wonder if people eat bees. 58% of people can stay away from me. People, I don't think there's... Those are the 58% of people who are not ready. You want the people who are not ready to eat in...

Oh, okay, wow. But the fact that it's a 50-50 split, almost, is pretty crazy. Well, that's probably taking into account people from all around the world. Oh, fascinating. Yeah. It is fascinating. It is. Brooke, it's fascinating.

You know what else is fascinating that I learned. this morning. Do you know what a kidney stone looks like? Little rock, I assume. I thought it was literally just going to be like a pebble that you would find in the park. No, my sister peed hers out this morning. Oh, are you going to show me a photo of it? Yeah, but it's not like upsetting. It's really interesting.

Actually, now that you mention it. It's a crystal. Oh. Like cute. Like you would collect. Oh, no, that's not what I'm seeing. It's like a crystal. She would love me showing this probably, by the way.

but isn't that interesting? Yeah. Like you wouldn't think, I thought of Kenny Sun is like a huge rock, a boulder. It's not a boulder, it's a rock.

Yeah. A rock. But it's like a little tiny crystal and you know it's not peeing it out that hurts. It's it going through your body. I'm assuming it would hurt to go through

my urethra. I don't think that our urethra, my urethra, my sister's urethra, etc. would are a different size than yours. I can't imagine anything going through. That's a horrible. That's a bad visual.

That's that, I can't imagine peeing that out. But peeing that out, can you look up if men's urethra's and women's urethas are the same size? Just like no images, but just text. Because I'm curious. Keep being curious. Keep asking questions. Yeah. I've always said that.

I know. Just curious. Because you know the urethra, okay. Females urethra is short. About one and a half inches. Which is a fine length for urethra, by the way. Yours is seven to eight inches in length. Yep.

But I mean, like, I'm curious about the width. The width just in terms of birthing a kidney stone. So you're. kidney stone would have way more to travel to pee out. That's what I'm saying. Okay. I don't think that that answers. Seven times the length to pee out, pee something out of your erytha sounds seven times is unfortunate.

This is a question for hang green. The main symptom is severe pain that starts and stops suddenly pain may be felt in the belly area or side of the back. Yeah. No, you don't have a kidney stone. You would know. You'd be puking and sweating. Oh.

No? I had kidney stones in 2020. Were you not puking and sweating? I wasn't puking, but I thought I was dying. Uh-huh. Oh, you would think you're dying. I go in and out of that feeling too. Uh-huh.

I constantly. I think you would like really like, my sister, like she couldn't move and was puking and sweating. Sometimes when I'm falling asleep, I'm like, I'm kind of scared. Of dying? Just like, I'm like, oh, I'm so relaxed that like if I died right now, like, I wouldn't even be able to stop myself. Yeah, well, you wouldn't be able to stop yourself if you were unconsored. comfortable if you were not in bed either. A lot of people do describe it as worse than childbirth.

That's what the ER nurse said. So since she survived that, she'll be great for childbirth. Oh, awesome. Yeah. It's crazy because that's this big and a child is so much. I know. I wonder why that's worse. Well, because it's up coming out of her urethra.

It actually blocked the flow of urine and the kidney. That's probably painful too. You can't get a C-section for urine, can you? You mean like a C-section to remove the kidney stone? Yeah. I don't know why they can't just like, They laser them out. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. The doctors are on their laser game AF at this point. But everybody I know that's had of kidney stone, there's been no lasering involved. It's just been like, go home and wait. I know. You know? We need lasers.

Yeah. We need lasers. We also drink things to help break it up. Oh. You can drink things as well. I'm always. Like water and lemon juice and basil juice and apple cider vinegar and celery. I think apple cider vinegar pills.

not pills, gummies every single day, and they're so good. Do they taste good? They would be my movie snack. Okay. If I wasn't going to like OD on apple cider vinegar, I would eat those.

I would eat an entire jar. They're the goalie or vital proteins has them too. Gummies. I'm going to order them now. They are. I have to go, stop. No, willpower. I can't eat any more apple cider gummies.

I have about 16 bottles of supplements, completely untouched. Unopened, untouched. You know what helps me with my supplements? Taking them, where do you keep them right now? on that little ledge in my kitchen. You familiar with the ledge?

I know the ledge. Yeah. So I was going to say take them out of your bathroom and put them in your kitchen. They're in my kitchen. I know. Well, I guess because I share my kitchen with other people now that, like, I'm leaving my room and now it's somewhere else.

But like when I was in my one bedroom apartment, it felt like all one room, kind of. Yeah, I'll just like look at them and think in my head take those and can't, I don't know what the mental block is. You have to move them to a different place to where you're like, also. I'll move them next to the coffee machine. Yeah, so that, but move them like once a week so that they're in somewhere else where you're like, oh, I need to take those.

But it's also like I'm taking pills in the morning anyway. So like, why can't I take? I don't know. Yeah, I think because they're so big. You're just like, it's just like another thing you have to do. Yeah. You know what I've been doing is with my seed probiotic? What?

I write, I have a expo marker that I write seed and then I keep track of like with tally marks. Yeah, I'm obsessed with seed. Yeah. Jack Martine is so obsessed with See that doesn't surprise He ran out of his seed And he keeps I have an extra bottle

And he keeps texting me Like can I come get Can I come get your seed Like I need your seed like over and over and over again And I'm just like yeah Come get it And he's there's some sort of disconnect Because he's just like begging

And then not coming Does that make sense? I hope that helps clear it out Whoa Okay So let me see see if I get this straight. Yeah. Jack Martin is begging for your seed

and but he doesn't come. Yeah, let me read you. Yeah, I'm going to read you our text about the seed. So I'm, I think I think I get it. Jack. That is. Okay. Anyways, seed is a probiotic. Okay, he said at Saturday at 4.15 p.m. he said what time would work best for me

to come over and swallow your seed? I said, I'm not sure when I'll be home, but I'll text you when I am. and I said, okay, I'm home. I never answered. Okay, the next day at 2.49 p.m. What do I have to do to get my hands on some of your seed today? And then I said, come sit by my pool with everyone. And sent a picture of everyone just hanging out by the pool.

He said, you own a pool? I said, at my apartment. Then he said, hard eyes, hard ice, hard ice. Never came and got the seed. Okay? The next day. Name one thing that's stopping me from showing up at your doorstep right now and stealing your seed.

I said, babe, I literally told you to come whenever we were out at the pool all day. And he said, I was busy, question mark. I forgot you had a pool. Okay? Like, oh my God. That's funny. The seat is still not in his possession. That's crazy. It's bizarre. Oh my. My oh my, how the roles have shifted in 2020. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing like a man begging for your seed and just like not coming. I know. Bizarre. I'll keep y'all updated on the seat. The tables have turned. The seed cell. Yeah. Holy moly. It's really interesting. That's a good clip.

Clip that. Okay. I have to tell you about this pizza that I had before the movies. Sorry to switch gears, but I have to tell everybody about this pizza. Guys, I got this, I know New York has been on the Prince Street pizza game. Have you guys had Prince Street pizza? No, but I've heard about it. Holy Nut. Speaking of Seed, this piece, this piece of, this piece. pizza, nut certified, delicious. It was insane. It was so good. I couldn't have raving about it at home. And you can get it in a four slice.

And it's like square pizza. You know square pizza is always better. Oh my God. It was so good. That's all I have to say about it. I thought it was in New York. They opened one near me. You're lying.

No, they have one. Can we go get it after this? In West L.A. Brooke, I can't have it for four days in a row. Oh, I want it, though. It's on Ureats It's not going to come to my house

Oh my god There's a Wiiho one Okay They open one near Just open one near me Uh Maybe I should order it now To get it

Here Yeah Okay Okay Great idea Look at it Oh my god That's gorgeous

So good Um Okay there's that I had that And then I got Commence And then Hank got like A variety pack

So I ended up having it For four days in a row Which is crazy Which one's really good Spicy spring was really good. I don't like spicy. It's not spicy. It's not actually spicy.

Is the spicy vodka one spicy? That looks good. It's not actually spicy. Ooh, go down a little bit. That one in the middle is looking incredible. Oh, I don't like vegan. Sorry. I don't know, man.

These all look good. But, you know, I'm not like a big meat person. Well, the meat one, it's interesting. Oh, no, I like those. Yeah. I like the fancy prints. The fancy print. Brooke, you can't mess up.

Like, you can't mess up also. Would anyone eat a fan? Pancy Prince if I got a fancy prince. Okay. Is it over right now? Oh, probably not. It's 8.30? It's almost 10 a.m.

They open at 12. Okay. Well, I'll get it. Wait, are those little perlunt? Are those personal little pizzas? Ten inches and four sizes, perfect for your, oh my God. For your little ones in single servings.

I'm a little one. Yeah. I'll get that later and I'll love. To someone taller than me. Oh, they're salad. I also had their Caesar salad. I love a Caesar. It's good.

Nut certified. The best combination in the world. is pizza, pasta, and a Caesar. Oh, I agree. I'm about to start drooling onto my chest. And a Diet Coke. I don't like bubbles. Because they're spicy, too.

I guess. Yeah. Their merch is really cool. Oh, let's get some merch. So, oh, and they have swaps. I love when they sell them on top. Yeah, they sauce. Sores and mozzarella.

They have mozzarella. They have fra Diablo sauce, and they have vodka sauce. They have the house mariner. Mara sauce, and there you got the prosciura. I cannot hear that goddamn word. No, there's a couple words I can't say. Perchetta? I want to call my mom and have her say the word sausage.

Have I done that on here yet? I don't think so. She cannot say the word sausage. Give it a go. Call Tony Mom. Let's just see. Let's go down to the lobby. Let's go down to the lobby.

I know she's been up since 4 in the morning, so there's no reason for her not to answer. All right. You'll leave a message. She would love that. She should probably play in pickleball. Wow. Please leave you a message.

Yeah, just as I suspected. Send her a text. Send her a voice memo and ask her to respond with a voice memo. Text Tony mom. I had to unlock my iPhone first. Okay. Okay. Text Tony mom.

Can you please call me back or just like call me back. Bye. Perfect. Sent with Siri. Okay. Okay. So I'm on the way here this morning, and I get a call from Logan. I'm not actually on my way here.

I was just like at home. I was late today because I don't know if you guys have ever done this where like you set your alarm, you wake up early, and you actually like slow it. And you're like, I'm going to have myself like a little Parisian morning. You know, I'm going to slow down. I'm going to make myself a coffee. I'm going to turn on some music. I'm going to set my little space up. I'm going to have an apple.

I'm going to like sit down. I'm going to put a little. a little blanket on. I'm not going to change out of my pajamas. I'm just going to get ahead before the day starts. I love doing these in my pajamas in the morning. And you spend so much time getting your little set up going and you spend so much time kind of going like this a little bit and kind of spreading out stretching maybe that you look at the clock and you needed to leave five minutes ago. Yeah. Yeah. That's the danger of wearing your pajamas too long. There's a specific time where you have to change out of your pajamas or you'll stay in my house. And I was like,

I wish I would have just gotten right because now, then I had to text you guys and be like, damn, I just spent so much time enjoying my morning that the morning's over. Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I loved for, I loved for only about like eight seconds. Do you believe that? No. I would rather have never loved.

I don't want to live. Yeah. If I'm going to lose. If I'm going to 100%. I need to win. Yeah. Well, it's not even about that. No, I want to win.

Okay. Yeah. So anyways, I get in the car. I'm on my way here and I get a call from Logan, cousin Logan. Crying. Yeah. Sobing. Okay.

I'm like, what is your, hello? Oh, what's going on? What's going on? Can't hear. Just like kind of like, I'm like, what is going on? Are you okay? What's going on?

Yeah. And she's like, yeah. She's like, can't. I'm like, are you in jail? Like, what are you? What's going on? Like, is someone dead? You know, I'm thinking like,

and she always finds out things about my family before I find out. Right. And I'm like, what's going on? This girl I know kind of who ties with took the name. I was going to name my baby. I was like, you don't have a baby, and you're not pregnant. What are you talking about? I thought someone died, you know?

Also, she could still use the name. She can't. She can't, because the other girl beat her to it. I really firmly believe that doesn't matter. She wanted a name. What's the name? Arlo. And she's not even being used anymore, so I probably just ruined, there's probably three, at least by percentages and probabilities,

I just ruined at least three people's day by saying that. And for some reason, that makes me happy. I have like, because I was a preschool teacher, so I feel like I know so many kids with so many different names that I have so many associations that like I wouldn't be able to use a name of a kid that was annoying. Ooh, Arlo name Trin. But I love, I had a kid named Arlo and I loved him. So now I love that name Arlo. Oh, so you knew an Arlo? I've never known an Arlo.

So I thought that was kind of fun. I know that I know that people have actual real beef with people. They can't, they don't want to say their baby names because they want to have the baby. And I get it because we talked yesterday. We recorded obviously. Like people don't. I guess people don't know. We're recording at advance for next week.

But when you hear this, we are on June 28th. Yeah. So we're not responsible for anything that happens within that time. Yes, that's true. That happened with my sister because her name was Zoe for nine months while she was in the womb. Good what. Guess what? Grace period.

Your baby not going to give a shit if you changed her name. Yeah. Well, she was Zoe. And then all of a sudden we were like at there, like a few days before my mom gave birth we were at the pool and some mom was like screaming at her kid named zoe and that was that then she was gabby and i couldn't i could not remember her name if my life depended on it oh really months damn yeah baby mine was austin that's a cute name mine was a little bit ben mm-hmm as a as a as a as a when your parents thought you're going to be a boy okay and then it was

you know it was bobby yeah which i wish it was mine was the same boy and girl austin for a girl and Connor. And Connor for a girl as well. Okay. I was just like, if I would have been Austin, born in Austin, I would have been. Connor Austin would be a good name. Connor Austin would be a good name. Fortunately, it's not that.

Yeah. But anyways, that was it. That was my, that was more mourning. Oh, that's it? Yeah, she was just crying and I was like, yeah, grip. And then I hung up. I don't. There's so many bigger problems.

Well, I get it. I mean, I don't, but. No, I get it too. I would be mad if that would. I mean, if she was pregnant or like trying to get pregnant. I just strongly feel that she can still name the baby Arlo. I said the same thing. Yeah.

It's kind of like when you and your friend, you go on a trip with someone and you guys got one good photo and they were like, oh, I was going to post that one first. It's like, go for it. We don't have that much overlap. Right. Post it. Yeah. Just like. Got a bunch of other friends.

Do you? You can't let anybody else get in the way of your piece. You have to protect your piece. You have to. Yeah. Should we do some? Am I the assholes? Yeah.

And I pulled a number this morning, which is another reason I was late. And a lot of them are pretty similar. Okay. I have one that happened to me. Why don't you kick it off? Okay. This happened so long ago, like almost a year ago, but I still think about it. Okay.

I know you're going to say I'm the asshole, but I'm not. Are you asking me if you're the asshole? No. Are you already deciding that you're not the asshole? I'm not. I'm not the asshole. Okay. It's possible, though.

We'll see. Am I able to without getting stumped, herb stomped, tell you that you're the asshole? I don't know, Connor. If you're not in a place to receive feedback. I feel okay. But it's, you know, it's hard to say once, you know, you never know what's going to happen. Let's hear it. Am I allowed to raise counter thoughts?

You can ask questions. I always encourage questions. Am I allowed to raise? Offer an different opinion? I don't know. Well, we'll see. We'll see. We'll see.

That is the whole thing. Okay. Genuinely asking. Right. I could see it going this way or I could see it going this way. Okay. Ready? we'll take it slow.

A few years ago, and by that I mean it was probably like a few months ago I was coming home late at like 2 a.m. And I pulled into my garage which is like completely gated you would need the button to get in. There's not very many spots

and somebody was in my spot which like has never happened. I don't know how someone could have gotten in there like I have no idea what was going on. So that means like I was at a crossroads. The guy next to me spot was open and it's 2 a.m. So I didn't want to park on the street because if I parked on the street I would have to

park pretty far away and walk pretty far home in the dark at 2 a.m. So I made the choice to park in the guy's spot that was next to me and I set my alarm for 6 a.m. to come and move my car to the street when it was light out. So because I would feel a little bit safer. And I knew that like, okay, worse comes to worse. If he comes home late, he's a big guy. Like I would feel I would hope that he

And he knows I'm a little girl Yeah I would hope that he would understand Like there's a car in my spot I made the choice I made the choice that I made So set my alarm for 6 a.m. So I could move my car

Came down and he left the nastiest note Because he had come home later Left the nastiest note on my car That was like Like how dare you park in my spot Like you know like the implications Like I had to walk so far blah blah So that was that like

Who was that? was the person your spot? I don't know. It was gone by the time I went out at at 6 in the morning. That's the person who's at fault. Of course, of course, but like I had to act based off of that person's stupid choice to park in my spot. I don't know how they got in. I should have had them towed, but it was like two in the morning. Yeah. So that's that. And then and now. And yeah, yeah, but it was like, you know, he could have also had my car toad. So he could have been more of an asshole. But that was that. And he like really, I think the important piece here is that like he knew he knows that like I'm a little girl and it really

wouldn't be safe well I guess he didn't know I think if you told him I think if you were having a conversation with him at that time where you're like there's someone in my spot I'm scared to walk home I wouldn't walk home two in the morning let alone like you right um you'd be gone in a heartbeat like there's no question so I don't I actually don't think I had another choice yeah I mean you could have parked I could have been convinced everybody like any decision you'd be like any decision you made. So no, I don't think you're, I think the person that parked there is the asshole. Do you think the note giver is an asshole? No, because it was a mean note. Your spot was open when he walked down there. We don't know that. Okay, well then we don't know. Yeah. But then if my spot was open, park in my spot, you know my car. You knew it was me.

Yeah. So, oh. I don't know. I think he either saw that somebody parked in my spot or my spot was open. Yeah. I don't know. I think that maybe what, like if you got home and, there were no parking spots open, what would you have done? I would have had to park on the street. Oh. I don't know. I think the person that originally parked there is the asshole. Yeah, of course.

I don't think the note giver is just like thinking of themselves in that moment. Okay, but if you have to rank the assholes, is it, is it original, the person who parked in my spot me note giver or person parked in my spot, no giver me? I don't think that it's weird because of the factors at play. Like, you had to make that decision so that you wouldn't be killed. Right. At night. Right.

I don't think I can fault the note giver. You would write that kind of note? Yeah. Like I wouldn't be like, well, she's like this little girl. What did the note say? It was just like, this is my spot. You inconvenienced me. I would write that note.

Really? Yes. Okay. Even like if you knew who I was in the situation? Well, he didn't know the situation because you guys haven't spoken. Well, it's like pretty clear. There's two options when you drive into the garage. Well, like, it could have been your friend that was visiting you.

I don't know. That, like, had parked in your spot so that. I don't see you writing a note like that. I wouldn't because I'm a pussy. Yeah. But, like, I don't fault him for being like, I was also inconvenienced in this situation because of this third party. Right. I don't think, I think you guys are either of you are assholes.

I think you had to make a decision. And he also was inconvenienced by it. So he let you know. Well, now I. I obviously hate him. It goes without saying. Well, next time, get the guy's car towed. That's in your spot.

Right. And leave them a note. Yeah. I guess that would just, yeah. Pass the baton. Involved me waiting outside in the middle of the night for a very long time. So everyone's inconvenience in this situation. Except the person that got free parking and then left in the morning.

Yeah. I should have gotten them towed. Which obviously knows someone there because how they get in the gate. They obviously had someone let them in. Right. So someone else, there's parties involved that are the ass on that situation. And it's not me. But it is a little bit the note giver.

A hundred percent. Like think about, what if he had to wake up so early because his wife is giving birth? He doesn't have a wife. Maybe he has a girlfriend. That's giving birth. He's a boyfriend. I don't think he was giving birth. Maybe, I don't know.

Brooke, I'm just thinking. I don't know. We're saying leaving a note because someone's parked in your spot isn't. There's a mean note. They're not thinking, well, this is a little girl. I want to be, they're not thinking that. I would be thinking that. I think that's the most important factor on.

Honestly. Objectively, it was more safe for him to park on the street. Okay. I mean, if that's the question you're asking, if it was more safe for him or you to park on the street, then I would say, I agree. Right. But if you're saying who's an asshole,

I would say everyone is kind of an asshole. You did park in his spot, like. I had no, because I had no choice. You could just park, I don't know. I'm just saying, I'm not a disagreement with your decision. If I didn't park in his spot, I might not be sitting next to you today. Brooke, then you know your answer.

This is not even stroding your cat. The cat was always dead. Like he was always the asshole then. That was the answer you wanted. No, I told you that going into it. Yeah. Okay, great. Then yeah, fuck him.

Yes, Connor. Okay, let's move on then. Okay, so someone wrote in and said that him and his friends are going on a road trip. Okay. For summer. They like plan this trip. It's a long road trip or like what I don't, they didn't tell me where they were going. They were just, he was just like, we're going.

It's like a decently long road trip. We're all splitting gas and the person that's driving the car. said that they shouldn't have to pay for gas because they're putting miles. This one last time. They're putting miles on their car. No, no, it was different. Oh.

And I think we should do just like talking about traveling with your friends in general because I wanted to ask you this and I forgot it was Kelsey on the pod last time. Just like general nuances of traveling with friends this summer. Do you have any advice?

I think you should offer to pay for gas. The person whose car is? No, the person riding. Everyone already agreed to pay to split gas costs except the person driving said, well, we're putting miles on. my car. That's not the argument I would use. I would just be like, I'm driving, but I also wouldn't use the argument. I think they're all splitting the driving too. Like they're sleeping in the

people are sleeping in the back well. Then I don't think, I don't. Ooh, I don't know. I think like it makes sense, but also like I wouldn't do that. I think it's like if you're using your car, it's like you're hosting the party so you shouldn't have to split the cost of like drinks, you know? Like it's B.YOB. I'm hosting. Right. Like I get it in theory. it's just also like I would not make a I wouldn't say anything yeah to do I guess being a pussy but also just like it's not that's not a battle worth fighting for me yeah and I don't want to see you do have to pick your battle like I never would want to seem like traveling with friends money always ends up being the reason everyone gets in a fight mm-hmm I would be like you know is this person a car freak because I'm not good at my is anyone good at keeping track of miles on their car I don't know how much miles actually deteriorate the value of the car going into it. I don't know anything about that. Unless the guy is like a mechanic, your friend that drives the car and is like, no, this is

actually putting actual damage on my car. That's worth $50. I guess, do we know how long the trip is? They just said it was long. Long enough for them to sleep overnight, like as they drive. I guess that honestly, I do think that's fair. Oh, so up to 10,000 miles only takes 2% off your relative car value. Okay, no.

I don't know that. They should pay for gas. Like, yeah. They should split the gas. Yeah. Yeah. But also, like, I think it's not the miles thing that I would use. It would be more so, like, what if, like, something happens? Like, there's, it's just, like, always, like, you guys could fuck up my car.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. General. Yeah, like, there's more risk for that person. You're eating in the car. You get a flat tire. You got to change a tire. Right.

There's just more risk for that person involved. So maybe if there's six rounds of gas, there's, there's no there's 10 rounds of gas maybe that person pays for like one round sure I think it's just like not a conversation that anyone would want to have

and like it makes sense where this person's coming from but I also am not the kind of person that would say anything like that I'm not either yeah that sucks because sometimes it's worth it just to like eat that money and shut up and just enjoy it and just like don't go on a trip with that person again um okay this one's

this one's interesting like I'm like nervous to read it because of me or because of the audience no no because of the content of the content of the story you want me to read it yeah here because you've not seen it so you'll go and do it

the line okay hey BNC MAP my friend's boyfriend what and then go I'm seeing something that's not good how about you read it I really want you to be the one that reads it. I don't want to.

All right. So you just have to remove this part because it's all been sorted out since. Remove what part? The part that you read that you were scared. Yeah. IBM, CMAP. You're not going to read that part?

My friend's boyfriend cheated on her with this random girl. We found out, and he was apologetic, et cetera, and said that he was fixing things with her and her boyfriend. This girl gave me bad vibes. And I felt like she needed a lesson learned. So I called the police on this girl

saying she had suspicious behavior. behavior coming from her house, which at the time was borderline true. The police went to her house and found videos of her involved with her dog, which no one knew of that beforehand. Obviously, the dog has been taken off of her hands, but I had to tell my friend that she needs to get tested for some diseases because her boyfriend had sex with a girl who was involved with her dog. She's angry at me for getting too far into it and calling the police without warrant, but I'm like, question mark, question mark, bro, the girl needed the police called on her e-sap, and I did her, everyone involved a favor am i the asshole

like that's a schrodinger's cat she both is and isn't involved with her dog unless you call the cops on her yeah I think it's weird that you called the cops but also you have to call the cops but there's no way that you would have known that without calling the cop we don't have the context of like why it's suspiciously true but like yeah you don't call the cops on someone for bad vibes like if that wasn't true I would be on the phone with 911 right right right

you got not like not to say you got lucky that something weird was going yeah the dog the dog the dog is the winner to get out of there yeah but if nothing weird was going on you would be the asshole because that's weird that you called the cops but you got lucky something weird was going on because you call on the cops became justified yeah like everyone wants to call the cops on their

I mean you should have called the cops on the guy that left the note on my car yeah it's just like but I didn't you know yeah You should call the cops from the person that parked in your spot. You're displacing the blame. Yeah. I've left one note on a card. What it said.

I was in a Trader Joe's parking lot, which Trader Joe's should be investigated for how horrible their parking lots are. Hey, there's a science behind that. What is it? Brooke, great question. Did you see me that? I think I might have. There's a reason for it. There's a theory for horrible parking at Trader Joe's parking lots.

I think it increases, like, urgency to get inside because, oh, it's like a line. You see a line somewhere you want to go in. Yeah, or it's, yeah, it just like makes it seem more desirable. Like, people are fighting for spots here. Yeah, what is the line for waiting in this? Yeah, yeah. What is on my hat that has been staring? Connor, there is fuzz all over me at all times.

How about you? I don't get dust, Brooke. It's not dust. It's fuzz. Oh. Hang on, hang on. Let's circle back to dust and fuzz because I actually have so many dots on dust. DNF, okay.

Yeah, the DNF Convo. Okay, so I was at a Trader Joe's parking lot in Austin, and it was like a parking garage, so it's like dark, and this guy with this huge truck pulls up next to me, and I could not get in my car, and I'm like, okay, now I just got to wait for this guy in this huge truck. And so I'm like, no, I squeeze in through my passenger door. Before I did that, I wrote a note. As I'm, I write a note, it's kind of mean, but I was like, you blocked, you trapped me in here. Trapped me in this garage.

And so I put the note on his car, and all I, I said, I wrote a note. I had was like a sticker. So like stuck it. I like stickered it to his. Why did you have stickers on hand? Because I was, I worked at Bumble and I was, I had a bunch of stickers for Bumble. And I could only kid in through my passenger side. So I'm crawling to my passenger side when the man with the truck walks out to his car.

And I'm, I'm like this when I look up and he's pulling the note of his car. I laid down in the passenger side of my car like this. Yeah. With my neck broken. Yeah. and he looks into my car and there's no one in the car because I had written

like I had to crawl through the passenger side of my car and I'm sitting on the ground and my passenger side of my car and I'm just like and he just looks at me and he's like I was just like yeah sorry

I apologize obviously obviously for his inconvenient yeah as you should have anyways Dustin Fuzz I don't understand where it comes from don't know don't ask me

it's obviously small. There's no question about its size. Do you know Fuzz was my first word? Wow. Yeah. I think. Interesting. I loved Fuzz. Mine was bird. Aw. Yeah.

And you love birds. Do I? No, I don't know, man. I just like there's fuzz especially now that I have contacts. Like there's constantly fuzz on my fingers on the contact. Like, just everywhere.

I don't know, I don't know. It's all over my room. It's all over. I don't know where it comes from in my room. Apartments always... That's sure. Where's the fuzz coming from? There's a huge difference between dust and fuzz. Cobwebs. No.

Do you know what a cobweb is? Yeah, silk. What? Yeah. Cobbabs are made of silk from the spider. Spiders don't make silk? 100% they do. No, they don't.

Cobwebs are silk. Brooke. I swear. Brooke. silkworms make silk okay so to cop webs spiders make their webs from silk shut up really yes

no way yes no everything way yes connor shut up I can't I can't and I won't I've got an all spiders produce silk yes even the nasty evil spiders

what did you think the webs were dust no no those are silk chafon Wow. Well, what are silkworms making? Are they pooping out the same stuff? I think they might be. God damn. Wow, that's, thank you for saying so calm while I absolutely denied that fact. Yeah, hey, no problem. And normalize... And normalize... That was gaslighted. That was gaslighting. That was gaslighting. Let's go back to Ami the asshole, because we've got to kick out. We got to get a bunch going. Yeah, it was, I don't think that there's an asshole in this situation. besides the girl in her actions,

which you didn't know about before you called the cops on her bad vibes. So that action, while weird, I can wrap my head around. I'm glad you did it. Yeah. And we'll leave it at that. Yeah.

I recently received something valuable that isn't mine in the mail and I kept it instead of figuring out who it belonged to. Am I the asshole? No. Here's the thing I need context because what if it was someone's grandma's wedding ring?

Right. I think that's true. If it was just like a thing that's valuable, the sentimental value I'm having trouble swallowing. That's a tough nut. Yeah, I guess you're right. It depends what it is. But I would say in most cases, like if I got a package of like clothes

to my apartment, I would honestly keep it because I know that they could just get a new pair for free. Do-do. Both stores policies. I have so much of a guilt complex. I don't think I could keep anything.

Oh, I don't feel that way. Because thinking like, oh, like, what if this person like saved up so much to buy these clothes for this vacation and it wasn't gonna, I don't know. I was so wronged. When I was young by someone saying finders keepers to me about a bracelet that I found on the ground

that I knew was mine, that now I just like have adopted that mentality. That's interesting. Yeah, just to like reclaim that experience. I didn't have that. Yeah. I don't know why. I don't know.

I've got guilt for stuff for people I don't even know. See, like I could never shoplift where I feel like you could. Right. Yeah. Yeah, because I don't feel guilt for corporations. Could you shop lift from a non-corporation?

Like a mom and pop store? What's an in-between? Like what? I need an exam. I don't know. I'm asking you. Is there an in-between of mom-and-pop and corporation? Like a small chain?

Yeah, maybe. What am I stealing? I need more context. I don't have it. Because yes and no. Shrodinger's cat, I have stolen it already. Yeah. Or I would never.

Okay. How about like, I don't know. I don't know. think of a small chain. I can't give an example for your example that you can't. Okay. But large corporations, yeah. Yeah.

Hey, stick it to the man. Yeah, I couldn't. This person, I need more context on what you're keeping. That's yours. Advice on what to do when my mother-in-law sits on my husband's lap. I can provide more details. Okay. What can you do?

You need to pull him aside. I think you need to talk to your husband. Yeah. You need to pull him aside. say it's a little weird I think any familial relationship as adults that involves like anything more than hugging

weird can kind of be retired yeah yeah I think I'm on board unless you're like Italian I know that they like kiss each other on the mouth and stuff that's an exception yeah

and there's obviously like cultural things I'm speaking just like a blanket statement but someone tweeted this the other day we're always talking about all of these different specific characters, horse girls, all that. Yeah.

We rarely talk about the brother and the sister that definitely wants to fuck her brother. We talk about that all the time. We do. We're the only ones having that conversation. No, I think about it with everyone. Oh, do you?

Yeah. The, like, sibling relationship, it's weird. Yes. If you're, like, so close with your sibling and there's tension, seek help. Yeah, it is.

I've been seeing a lot of that recently. Yeah. It's giving adult twin vibes. It is giving. It's giving. For sure. So, so. So advice, she has to pull her husband's side and say,

That's such a good, he's perfect in every way. He's perfect in every way, but his mom sits on his lap. It's definitely like a mother thing. And I don't know what to say. You can't say anything to the mom because you... Right. You can't get on her bad side. You'll be the evil.

Yeah, it will be the evil daughter. Daughter-in-law. I would just say to my husband, like, hey, what's up with that? You also can't be like, you realize that's weird, right? Because maybe he doesn't realize it's weird. Oh, no, I think... I would hope that I'm comfortable enough with my husband to be like, that is so fucking weird, by the way.

You know? Well, I mean, like, if I, if you said that to someone that, like, is unable to see that and gets really defensive right away when you have opinions on their stuff, they might just get defensive and put a wall up and be like, you suck. Yeah. You don't get how my family operates. We fuck each other. But I think, like, I...

We're Italian. We fuck each other. I think it would be almost more uncomfortable if someone, like, seriously was like, hey like it makes me a little bit uncomfortable when your mom sits on your lap. Like that to me is worse and that's fucking weird. Brooke, I agree. I'm just like from like, I'm just taking a step back

and thinking like, what if he's like, oh my mom's calling. Time to ask her if she can say the word sausage. Great timing. Hey mom. You're live on the podcast. Oh, sorry. No, no, no.

No, I called you because I wanted to hear you. Can you try to say the word when I get like that one. Don't do it to me. Please. What's the topping that I get on? I eat it for breakfast too sometimes. I'm telling you we're a sweaty family.

Try it, though. I get pepperoni and what? That was good. That was good. Okay, mom, we got someone writing in that said, any advice on what to do when my mother-in-law sits on my husband's lap? What would you do? Do you think that's strange?

Would you sit on my lap? No, never. Oh, that's just pure creepy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. I'm glad someone said it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like, yeah, like if Grandma Patisse had on Dad's lap while we were visiting. I think I'd have to punch her in the throat. Yeah. No, it's not okay. Okay. No.

Okay. Sorry. I saw a message that you said call you. Sorry, so I just called. No, that's good. What are you guys doing? We are on our way to the airport so that we're not going to get on a flight. Okay, well, I'll text you guys when I get out. Okay, love you. Bye.

Not her saying she's going to punch Patee in the face. I thought she said throat. Oh, throat. I don't know. Maybe she said Fettee, by the way, is 94. See, that's I was thinking, like, maybe that would be okay if Patee is 94. Like, that I could see more. Like, I could understand. It's like, my mom could not even wrap her head around sitting on my lap.

I love the bluntness of that. Yeah. Like, I think we need to channel that more. Creepy. Yeah. Yeah, we don't have to worry about hurting people's feelings. I know. I'm so worried about hurting people's feelings.

And also, sometimes people need that initial reaction is no. No, no, no. You need to pull your husband inside and say, this is not okay. Okay, good. We kind of did that one. We've got a lot of people asking should they quit their job. Blank, blank, blank.

The answer is yes. You're giving a lot of details. I really think you should. If you're thinking about it, if you're thinking about it, and they're like the pay is good this and that there's no amount of pay there's no amount of vacation pursue something else spend some time while you're at work on company time finding another job we just place so much value on career yeah in in these states nowhere else does that as someone who has been laid off from the job that I thought was the job for me twice quit yeah it should not be

affecting your you realize you get such great post nut clarity after you've left a job that you hate. You really do. Oh my God, that is the best feeling. Yeah. It's it's clarity, isn't it? You look back You're like, it's like, what? It's like breaking up with someone who like is, was never good for you. It's like, what was I doing there? Yes. Placing so much value on it. That's really a good thing.

Yeah. It is not, it, your job does not define you. No, it does. It shouldn't. By the way, good red flag for people. If someone's job defines them. If you have your job, like, and it's not an internet facing job, which I get when people work on like, like, we put our podcast in, like, if you work on stuff,

Like I had a lot of friends that worked in tech that like have every job they've worked at labeled in their bio. I'm like this is not LinkedIn. You know, like your resume doesn't need to be in your bio. Right. That freaks me out. Yeah. That's the other. That's my only thing.

I just had a really bad experience with that and that's like scary. Should you quit your job? Yes. So sad. My friend texts me this morning. He's like my only friend at my job just got laid off. And he sent me a picture of his desk and he has a photo of his friend from just got laid off. And he said I took his standing desk and his two monitors.

That's so sad. That's sad. A friend moved to my city and I introduced them to all my friends and now they try hanging out. And now they try hanging out with them without me instead of making their own friends. Am I an asshole for being annoyed? No. I don't, you're definitely not an asshole for being annoyed. You're never an asshole for being annoyed at anything.

By the way. Yeah. No. be annoyed at anything. I was very annoyed yesterday on the close friends episode and I let everybody know. Let them know.

Let them know. Yeah, I don't think, yeah, your feelings are valid. Valid most of the time. Also. And also, that's annoying. Yeah, also, also, the least prideful thing you can do

is just tell them what the hell? Yeah. I want to hang out with everybody. I feel left out. Yeah. Rip the bandaid off if it's gone to that point,

say it and then it will, that's the most embarrassing that can happen to that and then it's going to pay off also like anybody who's ever said to me like i feel left out like that's like a good friend is never going to be like okay what a loser like they are going to feel horrible and want to include you it's it does it guilt trip someone yeah it's like a horrible thing to hear and but you need to hear it sometimes you know and you need to say it yeah yeah speak up yeah or kill them yeah um should we move over to the bone i want to do one okay okay okay girlfriend refuses to watch Lion King

because she, quote, doesn't like seeing animals sad. And she's never seen it. So I often try to put it on her play scenes from it and she loses her mind. But it's like, how are you not ever going to watch Lion King? See, I see both sides. I see both sides.

I mean, it's sad. It's important to note that these animals speak English. They're not real. Right. It's not the girl whose animal got removed from her household from the early. I can really understand. I can really understand where she's coming from.

There are just some things that it's like, I don't watch. I don't, I don't do it. That movie, by the way, I hid, I had the VHS tape growing up. I hid that movie. My parents will tell you, I should have asked my mom on the video where she found the VHS tape of Lion King. It was where she keeps the pots and pans wedged in the back. Yeah. Because when Scar killed Simba's dad.

Devastating. Spoilerly, by the way. Oh, yeah. Someone's, I was just going to watch Lion King tonight. That trauma. traumatized me as a child and I hid I hid the VHS which is like a crazy thing to do like there is not really anything anyone

could do to get me to watch Edwards his hands again and it's just that just is what it is that's okay Lion King gotta watch Lion King I don't know I think that there's value in like just saying like I cannot watch that animal like I get it but there's a happy ending

but it's at what cost the cost of a life it's right I think it's important To again emphasize the fact that it's not real. But I've said this before. Animated things can be more emotional. I don't think you have, but that's interesting. Because you're not like attaching a specific human experience.

You're just kind of like attaching a broad experience that could be yours. You're not like seeing an actual human and you're like, okay, it's not me. No, it could be anyone. See, see, what was I going to say? I don't know. It's important to let things go. Such is the thought that I had. It's gone.

Like I noticed like there is really nothing you can get me to do to watch like a lot time traveling movies. I'm just not going to do it because it just like I can't. I just can't. Why time traveling? It's just like not time travel. Oh, the movies where you live the same day over and over again. There's nothing you can do to get me to watch those. I just watched one of those and it had.

It cannot stand them. It was good, but it's a little freaky for you. It's just like there's just something about it. It's just like one day is enough. like the thought of living the same day over and over. Roundhog day. Like I cannot like, like, and I would have that issue

should I have had a boyfriend in that ever. Wait, Bill Murray, by the way, is now seeing the girl who sings, who sings, my milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard. Apparently that was a joke though. It's not.

They've been seen like several times together on vacations. Who, what's that woman's name? Yeah, Kellis. Kellis, right? Who's 30 years his junior? I mean, Bill Murray is such a treat. I'm sure he's so funny. How old is Bill?

He's old. 72. Oh, that's not that old. Looks older. He does. Yeah, he does. Well, I think we close by saying, That's crazy. He's younger than mom, mum, mom and pop-op.

Sorry, I don't mean to age shame anyone. No, there's not. 72 is not old, by the way. No, it's not. I think that maybe, here's a happy medium, Brooke. I'm going to suggest a solution. Are you ready? Mm-hmm.

Play the soundtrack. See if she'll listen to the soundtrack. Love it. Because that soundtrack is bonkers. Yeah. Yeah. And you can get some of the story in the soundtrack.

You can get a... Mm-hmm. I just can't wait to be king. Gives me chills. Let's play that in the bonus. Okay, we're going to listen to. I just can't wait to be king. And I just can't wait to be king.

Very good. Thanks. We're going to pop that on. So let's all go to the lobby, you guys. And get ourselves a little treat. And with that, Let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the lobby.

Let's all go to the lobby. Get ourselves a treat. Could really go for a hot. Okay, P.O.V, we're going to the lobby right now. In the bonus. See you there. Smooch's. Love you. Bye, guys.

This week on close friends. Okay, let's P.O. You're my UTI.S. Okay, ready? Yeah. Knock knock who's there. Not your UTI. Because you wouldn't hear that now. Even though my ass and thighs are going to eat every pair of pandex. Nothing to do with them. Because sometimes I'm like, oh, my teeth fly out. Anxiety. Teeth growing shrimp.

Dobby is so gross. He's also a free elf. That's great. I'm excited for him. I don't want to look at him. That's awful. Sign up on TMG Studios.tv to watch a full bonus episode.