Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - The Girl with the Cigar w/ Maggie Winters

Episode Date: February 6, 2025

SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl   Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr NEW MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com  This week Brooke and Connor are joined by the lovely Maggie Winters! They discuss everything from Disney adults to fighting with the curly hair community. Plus, the inside scoop on Connor’s going away party. Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/  Head to https://www.squarespace.com/BANDC to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code BANDC. Go to https://Quince.com/bandc for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions today at https://rocketmoney.com/bandc.  Download the app and date now on Bumble! B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 00:00 Welcome Maggie! 00:28 Intro 00:48 Manifesting Mrs. 03:55 Connor’s Going Away Party 08:48 Podcasting is Hard  11:16 Squarespace 12:30 The Rain Cycle 16:16 Disney Adults 21:25 Quince 23:38 The Rachel 27:07 Curly Hair Community 31:19 Skinny Moms 36:10 Rocket Money 37:57 PR Gifts 40:27 Pranks 45:02 American Woman in Pakistan  49:28 Bumble 50:28 Brooke’s Gift to Connor 55:06 Height Differences 57:38 Smoking Cigars 1:03:13 The Big Move 1:09:17 Podcasting is Scary 1:11:49 Thank you Maggie! 1:13:39 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Okay, well, let's just like right off the bat, introduce Maggie. Let's do that. You want to do it? Sure. Okay. Hey guys, welcome back to Burke and Connor make a podcast. We're so excited to have someone here today who we both love and adore Mrs. Maggie Winters. Oh my God.

Wait, Mrs. I married myself. Wait, is Mrs. Mrs. is married. Okay. But it's outdated. We're splitting hairs.

Well, I just found out I was married and that was huge for me. So Mrs. is married? I RSVP to weddings as Mrs. MRS. Yeah, like Mrs. Brooke Ack. Chalk it up there for me with like writing checks

really never committed that one to memory, same with surname and what do you mean same with surname? The other one? What is sir name? Like who was supposed to teach me? When you said surname I blacked out

like are you, is that, isn't it like the, what the UK people say? Yes. I would say. Are you going British mode today? I spent some time abroad. Well, you say supper, which to me, that's the same as surname. In terms of what?

In terms of like British. The first letter? No, British. Supper? The British people say like. Or it's like sophisticated. Beans time. Yeah, southern maybe.

Supper? I don't know. Like at first when you said supper, I always thought it was a bit. Because like I would never use that word in a million years. Oh, I like saying supper because I'm trying to be different. Like, it's not because it was where I was raised. Oh. Really?

No. Yeah. Time for supper. Oh, I thought it was like a genuine. Dang dang and dang and dang. That's what I'm imagining you on like a big farm and your mom's screaming supper and you're like running in like all muddy. Yeah. That's what that's how I was raised.

To me that's Texas. Yeah, I don't know. I was always so muddy out on my farm. And my mom, my mom, trad wife would ring the triangle bell on our front porch and I'd come running in. Yeah. With my goat. And then your dad's like, God damn it. Wash your hands.

Boy. Boy. and then he would beat my ass with a belt. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Sorry, I don't want to. You should have a podcast. I'm really serious. Like, you really are, you are that couple.

You are. You do. No. No, you too. I thought you meant Connor and dad. I said, absolutely, he'll beat your ass on the pod. No. You really, really are special.

I'm glad that you guys have each other on. I have to say something so, like. And that's going to sound like me, like, projecting, like, insecurity. But I'm really being serious. No, first of all, you're going to get my ass beat by the fans. They're going to say, this girl's coming in and we're going to kill her. Secondly, I was being really genuine. I was being nervous.

I just had more flashbacks of like, like, cropped comments being like, fuck Maggie Winter. No, sorry. I was watching you and I was like, this is really, really sweet. It would be called the ADHD hour and we would never talk to each other. You mean, we, like, you are needed. Like, you guys have the country. No, I was not putting myself down.

I'm not putting you up. No, don't do that. What? Don't. I'm getting closer. Maggie. Oh my God. I'm just saying,

I'm just saying, you know. I love that you said, this is really great chemistry. I was talking about my dad physically abusing me. No, but you were just like going back. I guess that's what I'm talking, having a conversation is.

I'm sorry. Just dialogue. I said a fucking thing. Never. Your, your voice is allowed and need to be heard. I've been really struggling, like, talking and stuff like that.

And I like, I've been really struggling talking and stuff. Talking stuff like that. Just finding a difficult. Just yeah like not to you guys but yeah I met you so briefly Met you so briefly for a second this weekend Maggie at Conner's going away party and that was like I was like two hours past like my social battery like completely running out so this is our first time meeting yeah that did not count

I was fresh off the plane wearing sweat pants I was so embarrassed to just show up to a party I was like no you looked gorgeous but I think for L.A. people were like oh that's like people do that in L.A. You picked that out of it. No people do that in L.A and it's like very cool Okay, good. Yeah. But I had like developed this new thing at the going away party because I was so unable to have a conversation.

I was talking to one of your friends. I must have said 18 times because I didn't know what to say. I've said, ooh, forgot what I was going to say. 15 times. That's a great thing to sprinkle in places where you're like and

I forgot what I was going to take. I lost my train of thought. 15 times that one young man. He would think I have early onset. Could be. Like it was genuinely like tough. I use that so much. Oh, I thought it was.

Because I just want to, I want to really like, those kinds of conversation of just like thinking about how awesome it would be to be on my phone right now. Yeah. And then I'm like, I'll come find you if it comes to me. No, it was like, I was like, wow, imagine if I was like anywhere else right now. Yeah. But nothing to do with anyone I was talking to was fully me, like, just having been drained to completion of my social battery.

And I walked in and everyone was like on a level of drunkness and I didn't have one sip, but I felt immediately. secondhand drawn. At home. Really excited, yeah. And I definitely was older than everybody. And I feel like some people were like, oh, you live in Chicago. You live there?

You choose to live there. That's really cute. I love that. But like in a nice way, like no one was being, like, it was the nicest group of people. But I did make a mistake of walking and going, who lives here and what do they do for a living? And everyone's like, be, she'll be cool. Be normal, please.

So I feel like I was like also like, I need to like reset myself and act normal. Maggie, I walked into that place before Connor got there when his friends that I have was just meeting, we're kind of like gathering the space. And I go, now this is a shithole. That's funny. That would have got me good. It actually, it wasn't to the, to the people that I spoke it to. No.

And then I said, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'm just kidding. Like, obviously this is, when the wall is the window to me, I'm like, you know what I'm saying? The whole wall is the window. Florida ceiling. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm like rich, rich, rich, rich, rich. You guys know that I used to think when you said Florida ceiling windows, I thought it used to be like Florida like the state Florida I just said oh Florida ceilings yeah I used to think that for years that was Cat Wellington's like viral viral video of like I just learned it's not Florida ceiling I don't I didn't even know that yeah that's my sister under Christ I agree Florida ceiling Florida ceiling because also it makes sense because Florida would to have that kind of you would see outside Florida has windows yeah you exactly part of having windows for real but to preface also they had a surprise

going away party for me this weekend that I was fully unaware of you knew no you keep saying that I knew. I knew that something was going on. Because I was supposed to go, my parents were in town and I was going to go with them. They were going to Hawaii. Every weekend, by the way, I'm like, I was supposed to go to Hawaii this weekend. I sound like the boy who cried Hawaii. But I was going to go.

That should be the name of your next tour. The boy who cried Hawaii. Yeah. I'm sure that would go over really well. At least the Hawaii show. No one at all would find anything wrong with the boy who cried Hawaii, I'm sure. The white boy who cried Hawaii. Yeah, I'm sure that would.

really not ring any red flags or anybody um so my parents were going i was like i might just go i want to have a chill like last like you know i haven't moved even i haven't put a single thing in a box like i should probably go to hawai and not i don't finish moving out next week um and i was like and then our friend kiley who planned the whole party and like invited everybody was like no you can't and i was like oh something's awry something's a fuck something is nefarious and then it was i didn't expect that many people there That was sweet. Did you not open your Find My Friends?

Because I was wondering if he looks at Find My Friends and sees all like 20 of his West Hollywood friends at his friend's house who they've never met. He might suspect something. But turning my location off, I was like, that would be even worse. I don't scroll on Find My Friends. Really? That's my Instagram. Same. Really?

I'm zooming in. I'm going, what do they do in there? Yeah. And I'm looking up their houses on Villa too. Oh, a thousand percent. Yeah. I'll do it sometimes if I like get home super late from something. and I'm like, I want to FaceTime everybody.

And I'll go look and see like, are any of my friends in Spain or something? We're like, it's like 11 a.m. And I call them. Interesting. I never have any friends in Spain. I don't know. Sometimes someone's somewhere. Sometimes someone is somewhere.

College friends get to Spain and fast is what, like the message is here, I think. And fast? And fast, yeah. Get there and go go to there quickly. I agree. No, I can't talk. No, I agree. It's contagious.

It's genetic. It's contagious. It's contagious. It's contagious. in the space. And I really, I started listening this podcast in November and I wanted to come in here

and ride away and say, because I was really, you started in November listening to this podcast? Yeah. It's been going, we've had a podcast for almost three years.

Okay, yeah, but I didn't like know, really know you, and I said, what if he's, what if you guys suck? And then I said, actually the angels. That's a good question.

I'm Earth. They're angels. And then I started listening and I was like, I'm laughing, I'm laughing. I'm laughing. I'm laughing. I'm laughing.

I am laughing. I am laughing. I lot of myself go, I'm laughing. I'm laughing. But I wanted to come in and say, I'm so happy to be here with this young woman and this young man. Thank you. I mean, to have this young woman.

I was going to say my bad ass is really excited to be here, but I got scared. But I just said it. It's loud and proud. My badass is excited to be here with this young woman. Yep. Yep. Thank you so much.

Seriously. Thanks. We were supposed to have you on, what, last week or two weeks ago? Two weeks ago, but L.A. was, you know, going through it. Yeah, and now it's raining out. Good. I know. which was really special last night.

I went outside and go, I'm gonna do that Drew Barrymore thing. And I open my mouth and I go, I caught some rain in my mouth. And I was like, this is probably filled with toxins. No. Oh. Surely it's the purest form.

Right? No. From the clouds, straight from the so worst? No. Oh. I'm in the middle. I can't explain it any further, but no, I don't think so.

I was going at 11 p.m. on my back patio, spitting out all the rain because I was like, I can't swallow this. It's probably got uranium in it. Really? Yeah, and asbestos. What's uranium? I don't know.

I'm at all definitely. I wouldn't just say it's cool. Sorry, I don't know about that. It's definitely. And then I went inside it had a huge glass of tap water. I stand by the fact that the rain water is the best, the best of the business. There's just no, like, toxic rain, right?

That's what they call it? Where's my family? This is a debate, and I feel like I'm the moderator in the middle. I love that there's probably... Is rainwater toxic? Let's find out tonight. There's one person that probably listens to this podcast. Every...

Every... No, rainwater is generally... Hold on. This isn't right. Is it the AI? Every week when Brooke and I have a conversation that, like, we have to figure out the answer to something, someone's like, when they took six minutes to figure out, like, if Washington, D.C. is a sovereign state. I was yelling at this screen. I'm like, skip ahead.

Wait, listen to this. Rainwater can carry bacteria, viruses, parasites, chemicals, and dust particles from the air, which can make you sick if ingested directly. It can. I know. It doesn't always. So we shouldn't be open-mouthing the rain is what we're... I don't think after the wildfires, we should be open-mouthing anything.

Even the air, maybe, even in L.A. My five-year-old niece, Winnie recently said to me, she goes, you know that... I love that name. Winnie Winnie Winters. Stop. That's a... That's going to be a famous individual. Her brother, Wally Winters.

What the hell? I know. I'm obsessed with that. They don't know how to listen to a podcast, but if they could, they would. How old are they? Five and two. Would be great a circus touring pair. Oh, my God.

I would love to have a five-year-old, like, in the chair, like on the pod. Well, she's like getting, she's like a teenager now. She recently was like, did you know that? Cloud soak up water and then they make rain. And I went, yeah, I did know that. And she, like, processed that I knew and went, it's cooler than you think. She's right. I'm like, holy shit.

She's bringing me down to Earth. Yeah, it is way cool. It is cool. And it is fascinating. And that, like, that actually brings me to a great point. Because of whatever the process is called, I think it's called the rain cycle randomly. Crabb cycle. No, the water cycle or something.

Who's Crabbs? Let's not get into Crab. Right. Let's not do all. We can look up crab. I think it's KREB, right? You know who I'm talking about? Yeah, I do know.

I do know. Oh, that's just so cool. Crab cycle, also known as Citric. classic cycle, nice, Brooke, is a series of biochemical reactions that release energy from nutrients. So not at all. But I was definitely going somewhere with it. I read that top part as, did you mean crabs? And I was like, crap is in the crab.

No, I'm in crept. Did you mean Mr. Crabs? Oh, my God, Chad. Rain cycle. Yeah, the rain cycle is what I was talking about. But the rain cycle is so strong somehow that sometimes, if we look it up, there has been times in history. There have been, even, sometimes in history, that it has lifted fit. and frogs and things into the rain cycle and rain.

There's no way. We should, we need to look up the frog reign of 18, whatever. You're thinking of the story of Passover. No, and I'm not thinking of anything biblical either. Lived frogs and fish into the sky? Frogs can be lifted into the sky by, okay, not water spouts. They're tornadoes. No, not tornadoes and all that jazz.

Connor, it's that. Sweetheart. This is like when, this is like the metal. Has the rain cycle lifted, lifted, lifting frogs into the sky. Can it rain frogs fish? Okay, maybe that first one. In the Library of Congress link.

This is probably the first time I mean anyone's ever clicked this link, but let's be first. Can it rain frogs, fish, and other objects? Connor. If it can rain hail the size of golf balls. Connor, that's because that comes from the sky. They don't produce the frogs in the cloud. Although no one has actually witnessed the updraft, lifting frogs off the ground. Theory is scientifically plausible.

sense. So no one's ever seen it, though. Up drafts regularly pick up lightweight debris and carry it considerable distances. When it rain frogs... A frog is not lightweight debris. You're ignoring the part of it says no one's ever seen it. When it rain frogs in Kansas City in 1873, Scientific American concluded that it must have been caused by a tornado or other land-based storm.

Okay, well, tornadoes probably place on part in the rain cycle by lifting debris and other lightweight materials into the sky. I wish you were right. I wish I could just see frogs. I'm like, hey, like traveling up to the sky. It would be awesome. I wish you were right too, but it does not rain fry. When fish, yeah, could you usually like a fish?

Like, I'd feel bad. I'd be like, get that fish of the water. That is sad. That doesn't always make me sad. They do. So help me. Stop. Good job.

But I was too. I'm a Disney adult. Don't ever try to. I'm headed there. Well, I'm going to get you on board soon. I tried to get him to go to Orlando. He said, I'm tired or whatever the hell. No, I really, I think I'd call myself.

one. Yeah, I think, I think it's fun because people are so against it that I'm like, it's kind of, I'm like, actually I am and they're like, but not really. Yeah. They go, they go, but not a real one. I go. I love Disneyland. I really do. Have you ever been? No. It's so fun. And you're leaving California without I've gone. I bet I'll go the first month that I move away. Yeah, you'll come back and go. Yeah. Because I'll plan stuff when I come back. Do you guys want to go to Disney World? Where's it in Orlando? Yeah. I used to work there. Are you serious? Yeah. I was a Kearnie. I was kind of like, get on the ride. Did you have fun? I had a blast, but I worked every night, every weekend, every holiday. So it was kind of like, I had to stop doing that. I would like to work at Disney because you get so many steps in a way that doesn't feel like you're working out. Yes. So I think that would be really good for my overall mind and body health.

I worked on the people mover. I worked on like a moving, like a treadmill basically all day. And then everyone would get on the ride and go. Do you ever feel like you walk and walk and ever get anywhere? And I'd have to be like, yeah, ha. And then I'd be like, I'm going to kill that person. Yeah. This is a Sarah.

I'm laughing. I'm laughing. I'm laughing. I'm laughing. I'm laughing. I'm actually laughing. Yeah. Dude, they don't call the Disney employees carneys, though.

No, they don't. They call it. Is that a slur? Oh, my God. I'm about to get killed. No. No. We have been in this, like, state of everything feeling like a slur.

It's great that our audience, the breadth of our audience is so wide, but like. Conquer. The slurs that we've learned of. Like, the Carney community is strong. and a lot. But I worked rides. Like I always go do, do, do, do. If you are one, you can say it.

Yeah, thank you. I probably can't. Yeah, they're called, we're called cast members. Cast members. It's on Imagineers. They're the builders. Like, the engineers that, like, make the rides. Mm.

You have to be smart for that. You wouldn't be, like, on the Santa Monica Pier at that, at that carnival. Those, those, like, rides that are missing bolts and screws. Yes. And call yourself an. and imagine here. Because... Those are Disney exclusives.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. But that is a Carney. Because that person is carrying a pocket knife. Yeah, it does. Yeah. Yeah. But, oh, God, I'm scared.

Carnie is genuine. It's an informal term. Thank you so much. A traveling carnival employee. I guess I didn't travel, but I just felt like I was, like, pressing buttons, and I was, I wore pants up to here, you know? Yeah. It's like, that's what it felt like.

And the language they used. particularly the employee operates a game it's called a joint a food stand a grab a popper or a floss wagon loud pussy or deceitful

or ride jock these all sound really slurry I guess I was just a cast member dressed like a cop dressed like a cop sorry you were dressed like a cop yeah space cop

because I worked the ride that like where Stitch escapes it was the worst ride in the one yeah yeah yeah my favorite ride is thank you for asking um no i would love to know i know that's a great question mine's tower of terror i was going to say is it still tower of terror in Orlando and if they get rid of it's here i like i like it i like it i like it too but i just think if they get rid of the normal one i think i'll have a panic attack i really love space mountain uh yes do i don't even know what we're talking about

No clue. Do you like rides? Yeah. Okay. So you'd go off. I go on the Santa Monica Pier roller coaster like pretty much twice. You might really like Disney. Yeah, no, I'm not saying I wouldn't like Disney.

It just is a lot for me to like get up and pull myself up by my bootstraps and get out there. Disney, if you're listening, like, we'll go and you could pay for it. Yeah. It actually is $10,000 to go. It genuinely is for the VIP tour. Oh. Come on. Yeah.

That's my dream one day. Yeah. If the second I get money, you think I would like do something, like buy a house, no, I'm getting the Disney World VIPs. No, I completely agree. It really is so fun.

Yeah. What, you guys are... You have someone bringing you around. You cut every line. Aren't the lines like part of the experience? Technically, because you do experience them, but I wouldn't say that it's like, neat.

Yay. I saw some TikTok of someone and I don't know what, like what the inside joke was. Someone with their kids or whatever was like, oh, look, this ride has no line. And then they came up. off and they were like traumatized. What ride?

I don't know. What ride? They didn't tell me. I've done. Maybe it's like implying like, oh, no wonder it had no line. No, I know. I got there. I got there with it.

Like never go on the ride set. Don't have a line. Was it at Epcot? I don't know. Does that mean anything to you? The ball, the Epcot ball. Epcot sounds like medication to me. Oh, I got to take my Abcott or else I'll freak out.

You need to do my Epcot this morning. Epcot's what you take when your social battery is low. when you start to forget. When you start to forget things. Can I ask you both of the questions? Girl, winter is so last season. And now Springs got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs.

You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders. That perfect hang on the patio sundress. Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear up on that envelope. It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic.

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Valifluf 527. While supplies last, selection varies by location. See associate or location. Goes.com for details. I would love to know. How come no one said anything about my haircut? Oh, it looks really good. Well, okay, we just met two days ago, but it looks amazing.

This is the Rachel season three. Oh, I saw. I did see on your instance. This is genuinely the Rachel season three. And like, I can't stress that enough. Your hair always looks amazing. No, no, no, no. It doesn't.

Maggie, and that's fine to say this, but I'm obsessed with the racial season three. Yeah, it looks good. Chris cut my hair. He is the creator of the Rachel. cut? Like he's this is the genuine Rachel season three. What? He said I'm gonna give you the Rachel season three and he knows how to do that because he created it. Didn't he and the Rachel season three is what happened after like the Rachel cut when she was trying to get jem was trying to get her hair back to like even wait I was asking you yesterday because you posted with I can't stop talking about my hair

and you said that he reached out to you what did he say I want to cut your hair essentially I want to cut your hair. I want to do cut your hair. It was like his social media manager. Hey, I want to cut your hair. Like, people, people should just start sending that to people. I'm like, not a barber at all. I just wanted to cut your hair. It was definitely his social media manager.

I'm not, I'm not a hair professional. I would love to cut your hair. Because when he walked in, he did call me Amber. Amber? I was like, yeah, that's totally fine. Yeah. I'll go by Amber. But it was definitely the social media manager, but I had the best time.

Like, I can't stop. I can't stop talking about the Rachel season three. When you have the Rachel season three, you're Amber. That's your outdoor you go. Like, yes. I completely. I'm going by Amber now. I wasn't even like, I was like, please start calling me that.

Hey, Am, how are you? Good, and you? I'm great. Like, it fits with the racial season three. Yeah, it does. Can we look up Rachel's season three hair? Because, like, this is, I don't, do you watch Friends? I never did.

So this is more Rachel season three than Rachel in season three. I can't even. Look at, oh, my God. Look at my head. Oh, my God. Rachel season three, dare I say. The same hands are. same hands.

Can you believe? But you've never run to him before? No. Wait, he was like, I'm hooked on you. I gotta give you the Rachel's season three. It was literally like watching like Edward Sissorhands. I'm obsessed with that. I am obsessed.

Like I can't. I'm so sorry. I cannot stop talking on my. I don't think you should stop talking about it. And when I like the confidence that I feel as Rachel season three. How long did it take? No time at all. Wow.

I'm like I had the worst haircut experience. You have got to go to Chris. I mean, I'm out of here, but good Lord. Maybe there's Chris in New York. I told you the last time I got my haircut. He was 30 minutes late, and I was on Reddit. Like, when it was like the appropriate time to head out?

And they were like 25. And I was like, I'll give him a grace period of five. And then he cut and cut and cut and cut away. And I said, I just want to trim. I just went, I went ahead and took the lip. Everyone loved that haircut, though. The creative liberty of cutting, I gave you a buzz cut. I said thank you so much

Yeah well that was three weeks ago I will say it was like shorter than you're used to But everyone loved it and look at how nicely it's grown in Yeah it looks good It's always fascinating I like those cuts that are like this is perfect for the next three days And then Fuck it, we ball until I go back then

Honestly Going off But I'm not really like a oh it'll grow in really nicely I'm like what about this weekend Yeah I have to take a photo Yeah. Hat.

I, whenever I get a bad haircut, I actually, I haven't in a long time because I go to the same girl. I'd get a curly haircut. They cut it dry. Really? They cut your hair dry. So that it like. I guess that makes sense. Because your curls can bust up.

Yeah. Bust up. What the hell? What's your curly hair routine? I have very thin, fine curly hair. So I can't use a lot of products. Doesn't care. Um, no.

Coffered woman talking. Interesting. No. I, um, I, I have to like, you know, scrunch it out and, it's like it's really annoying and then it looks like this which is like fine it's pretty pretty thank you I wish I had really curly hair like that

I wish I had like spirals like like ringlets yeah I love I love that I always have wanted like a Lana Glazer hair oh yeah absolutely yeah yeah she's got beautiful hair any comments on girls yeah I love girls every video online like also

I have to say this like when they do like those straight interviews where they're like would you ever date a fat girl it's like why are we doing this but then the ones like it's like would you ever date a fat someone with a fat ass they go to the they go to the would you ever date my huge mom the the recent I saw one that was like two bros it was like straight hair or curly hair and then like the one guy was like absolutely straight hair and another one was like curly for sure and I was like why do we care about this I will watch till the very end that's the thing I'm watching the whole thing I'm watching the whole thing I'm thinking this is dumb the whole time

Watch the whole thing. You know what videos I also am obsessed with? Please. Oh, and then I have to say something else after this. Remind me. The girls that are like, oh, like, help me with my hair routine. And then all the comments are like, girl, you have curly hair. Like, try the curly hair routine.

And then they find out they really do have curly hair. This whole time they've been living their whole lives thinking they just have wavy hair. But they have curly hair. Just do the curly hair routine. Put your hair in the bowl. Yeah. What the hell? You guys are talking about.

Then there's this, like the curl community, like, I'm part of it toxic, I will say. Is there a community that's not toxic? Ah. The curly community, you post like your, like my curly hair and people are like, that's not curly. They have spirals. People are going disgusting, not curly straight hair. Like, I'm like, what? Who cares?

Like, gatekeeping is not the, I don't know if that's the right word, but like, they care so deeply about how you identify in terms of your curl patterns. Yeah. Yes. A thousand percent. Yeah. So do not say. I wouldn't. wouldn't. If you were like I have way of hair, they'd be like, we're going to come for you.

Yeah. If I were to say I have hair, like, I can't even imagine. I bet I could even, I'll even get a comment that's like, she doesn't have curly hair. And I'll be like, there's no denying. And then you'll see me fighting with them. Thank you so much. Um, the comment is from me. I'm like, she doesn't have curly hair. It says saggy's winners. I like to start drama. You are, you are drama. When I'm not in it. Yeah. Um, distant drama. Yeah. I'm obsessed with it. Yeah. Same. I was going to say I do get curly hair, wave it at least. You have curly.

When I'm in the ocean. And then I was like, oh, I'll get in the ocean when I'm in Chicago. Keep forgetting Chicago. I think if you have curly hair post ocean, like that's your natural. How in the world with that? Do you know that one time Connor and I were going to a wedding and we had to stop at the beach on the way? Like he left me in the car hazards on at the shoreline because he needed to go get a jar of

ocean water to to use in his hair for the wedding. And my hair looked awesome. I agree. And those were curls. But there is ocean water spray. Yeah, there is. Yeah, but it's not one ingredient ocean. It's like blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Phosphate, mega sulfide, whatever. But like the ocean is just like ocean.com. Ingredients. One one ingredient ocean. Water and salt. If you clip that what you just said and like send it to the future or send it to the past actually, they would have heart attacks. the sentence you just said

ocean dot com i don't care about i don't care about them of the past i don't think about them either yeah the past or the future yeah that you gotta be present that's i just think about my curls what i can do to nourish my curls but i was just thinking about chicago and i keep forgetting chicago's on on a coast

no we're in the midwest um we're doing a show there you when is it i do need i have to go to chicago so march 13th is the show march and then that sunday my family has a huge same Patrick's Day Party. I, here's this thing. Is Maggie's Irish Catholic? I love that.

You guys want to do a quick prayer? Sure. Yeah. Are you able to do that here? Is this like a... And what's sad is like I probably, I can't think of them. Hail Mary, Phil of Grace. I'm not actually, I'm not Catholic anymore, but like my family's Catholic.

Yeah. And my uncle's a priest, of course. Yeah. Yeah. And my dad's always like, well, you're still Catholic. I said not like culturally. Yeah. I'm like, I don't think so.

Yeah. I can't wait for that. You should have. We're good at, uh, religion stuff. Yeah, me too. Oh, we cover a lot of religious topics. We do we do Catholic Mass in my parents' backyard. Small backyard. Wow. Start the day 9 a.m. with Catholic Mass and then we, and then that's so we can start drinking immediately. I really like, I would be so curious to experience that because I don't think I've ever even like been in a church. I'll tell you, I think

that Catholic Mass is where my panic attacks started. It's a, it's a nightmare. It's an absolute nightmare. Because I didn't realize they were a panic attacks. I was like, I need to like bite my. But I really would be interested to see it as like an anthropologist. Some people don't know I minored in anthropology. Oh my God. Some people don't know. I didn't know. Did you know that?

I know that you love shopping at urban outfitters and they're owned by anthropology. Oh, I don't shop at anthropology anymore for my experience with customers. I heard. But it's okay. Hey, it's not your fault. I was the one talking to you on the phone. I worked there now. On the back end.

And they were telling me in my ear, they said, we can give her her sweater for free. And I said, I'm going to make. to a challenge right now. And I was expecting everyone to be like, Brooke, you're a brat, but everyone was pretty much like, no,

like they made an error. So I just, I feel really confident and me telling them how disappointed I was in the customer. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. My mom got sent,

she ordered a Christmas sweater from Target. Well, they sent her 30, of course on accident. Of course. 30 Christmas sweat. Yeah, I go,

we're keeping this. We're giving to everyone in the family. We're taking a photo. She goes, and then she goes, God's watching. I said, if,

and like, that's my problem. I'm like, if you, testing me, God's testing me. I said, this is why I can't believe in him, him, H-I-M. Because if he's testing you by sending you

30 sweaters and making sure you return it, that is a psychopath and he deserves jail. Well, he's not working on the back end in customer service. I love thinking about her opening the 30 sweaters. God is testing me. God is testing me. She also, she became, I'm blasting my parents. I always am. My mom became vegetarian. She's like, God, like, when she was

like 60, 70, now, she's like, God told me too. Wow. So she's communicating directly? Directly to God. I said, what What's you saying about me? Nothing because you don't go to church? Oh, okay. Wow. My favorite comment I've seen you easily is Brooke got a comment last week in the YouTube that

was like, I love it Brooke randomly throw shade at her mom. What am I supposed to do? It's so indirect. It's like, I think my life would be a little bit better if my mom was just a little bit more huge. I stand by that. I completely stand by that. And I would tell her that to her face.

I say, I wish you a game 50 plus. Your mom's skinny, skinny. I would say I don't know if she's ever broken 100. My mom, this is, my mom, every time I talk, I'd say, no, my mom was big and then she lost a bunch of weight. And I would say it's like, she's always like, you could be like me and like shut stuff. No, she doesn't say that at all. I'm blessed. But at first she was like, look at me.

No. Doesn't eat sugar, not at one bite of sugar. Her birthday cake, watermelon. Um, yeah. My, I will never forget. I'd love to hone in on the one. Just like half of it or what? Or was it just slices?

I will like make it look like a cake and I will cover it in sugar-free cool up. And I'm like, happy birthday. That sounds. Like everyone is commenting like, oh, like I totally relate to like having an almond mom. Like, no, I don't have an almond mom. I have a kelp noodle. No, I'm panicking. I have kelp noodles.

I got a raw milk mama over here. Yeah. Oh my God. I met your mom. Yeah. Culp noodle. On password. We do raw milk.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. My mom, no sugar eats bread, so I don't know. Oh, we don't. We don't do fuck with that shit. No. Kelp noodles. Kelp noodles.

And like truly, my biggest fear, like, not because of her, that feels really harsh, but, like, was bread. Like, I literally thought, like, gluten was going to, like, kill me. That's the way it became. You kind of are like that with the bread. You said that one. But now it's all I eat. Well, it's because I healed.

For whatever reason, when Maggie and I were on tour, and I know whatever the reason is, it's because I eat street food at 1 a.m. But like my stomach was in Chambles. Street food, we're in the suburbs of Ohio street food. So I found some garbage. Like, I was going at it. And, like, I had to go to the ER in Atlanta.

That's, and then for, like, a month, I was, like, anything I eat. Is that anyone to the urgent care? Yeah. Yeah. And it, but, like, it's hard whenever we eat stuff. And it needs to, because it's, like, the only thing to eat in the middle of, Ohio at a comedy club is like stuff that's going to make you shit your pants.

I would just like love to like to see you one month on like Zoloft and like see how things could change. What is Zoloft? Like a anti-anxiety med. Oh wow. I would be like president of National Honor Society. I don't know. I would just like be so let me in.

So curious truly because I think so much of it is. Drop in the comments Conner-Dolove challenge. So much of it is. Hey guys. Get ready with me. to start one month of Zoloff. I'm on something and I'm on a depression thing too. Well,

Boutrin. Are you on Welbytran? Of course. Oh, God, shout out to her. Are you on two? I'm on well, buterin and I'm on Welbutrin and Simbalta, which everyone says is like not a combo to be on. Fire and ice. Yeah. Everyone's like, how are you standing? Because they're both like

uppers. I'm on Tylenolk-Lcholmoox-D. Yeah. Oh, God. The mucin. mascot. Do we love or hate? We love. We're pretty outspoken about

Mr. Mucas. We have spoken about him in detail. We got it. I haven't thought much about the missus. Just like him with the head. Yeah, I haven't thought much about the head. When the girl is just him with the hat. It's like Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. We like talked so heavily about Mr. Muccas, the Mucinx. Didn't Mucinx do something? They reached out to send his PR. Can you forward that to me? I need a lot of that.

Yeah. The PR that Brooke and I. get is like toilet paper muc snacks I have I used to I recently just gave us a goodwill but I had like a full like cottonell sweat set

like literally just like toilet paper like I'm a dying for that my first two I don't really get that much PR so shot up. Poopery. Poopery that's what I got I would love that second thing

and this was a scary a bidet oh I know why are people worried about my my shits I'm scared and then they always It was actually a whisper. I'm sorry.

It was whisperer. I'm sorry. But a Tushy is listening. Why don't I keep going straight to Cam and like talking? I'm so sorry. I won't ever look at them again. You can. I can.

Okay. Oh my God. I keep getting ads for these like mints that make your like mouth really wet. Like for sexual purposes. I have I know exactly your time. It's just a grunties. Yeah. And they're called like this is perfect.

Yeah. This is like. Wait. What? Obviously, I've ordered like 18 packs just because I have like a chronically dry mouth from the wellbutrin. From the wellbutrin. Okay. But now my whole for you page is porn.

Have you tried them yet? They didn't. They're not here yet. But they should be here. I'll let you know. And I'll obviously give you some. I have. Yes, those.

Oh my God. Okay. Those should be here shortly. Mouthments that make your mouth get wet. Yes. So obviously I need I need that for just like health purposes. But now my whole for you page is. I need the low job content.

Oh my God. Speaking of porn and that's all I have to say about porn. Those are two good things. It's fascinating to have someone who's like a TikTok shop, link and bio person that's just drooling on camera. It's like, for a minute. Add to cart. It's a video, not a photo.

It's a video. She's like literally like dripping drool everywhere. She's like, these are awesome. She's like, they're working. Like, you need to. My God. Let's get her a towel. Oh, I thought you were saying get her on the pod.

I'll bring them. I'll bring them so we can try. Perfect. That's going to be great. Obviously, I needed this. Does she start her videos? That's the one thing I hate when they're like, sorry to people who bought this yesterday, but today it's 40% off.

I'm like, no. It's the price of a coffee. Yeah. No, it's not. I hate the ones where it's like every, this is everyone of mine. You depressed? Orazole. Cortisol's high bitch

We talked about that last week We couldn't figure out if high or low was good And it's like neither Yeah I made a video where I was like My 40 pages And I was like you have high cortisol bitch Kill yourself

And then people were being so mean to me They were like And so do you Like who's talking I'm like this is a joke I'm like I start bawling my eyes out No it's like this was a joke

And why are you coming at me? Yeah No people I don't have The literacy That they require Yeah They don't

Anyways, you guys see that woman that's been trapped in Pakistan for like... I heard people talk about her. Okay. I'm a dick. It's my favorite TV show that I've ever seen in my life. So apparently, and I, please someone correct me if I'm wrong, because I've only gotten bits and pieces and I haven't like been able to do a deep dive yet. But this woman went to Pakistan. She's from Queens.

She goes to Pakistan because she's in love with a teenager. I don't know if he's eight. I don't know what the rules are in Pakistan but she goes out for her love interest as this young man and it like falls through for some for whatever reason

really yeah was she sending him money I don't I don't know like I did I need can we see if there's like an article on this on this woman so now she's in Pakistan and I cannot get enough she's doing press conferences all of these people have mics allowed she goes my demands

right now, I need $10,000 right now the government. I'm going to make, she goes, I'm going to make Pakistan a better place. She's like, I'm redoing this whole. I'm redoing this whole country from the ground. Why is she, is she stuck or just not leaving? I need a flight back. I actually want to come home. And then the next thing I see is actually...

stranded, 19 years old, good. But also, I think she's like saying that they're married. She's like, I'm marrying this man. The American woman who was stranded in Pakistan after landing in the country last year to marry... Last year. A 19 year. Well, last year was a month ago. Oh. traveled to

okay to marry this guy however the long journey from New York to this place and in disappointment so she's she's straining there and now she's being like I need $10,000 like today I'm redo in Pakistan yeah they're giving her press money she's like I'm no right right now and everyone in the conversation why are they listening

to her they're all gathering and listening gathering around the town square that's so interesting it really sometimes just takes confidence no someone's everyone's saying that like she's like an inspiration to many. Look at her, look at all the mics.

My plan is to reconstruct this whole country, okay? I'm asking for 100K. Oh, 100, that's it? Why is the whole town there? Also 100K

to reconstruct a whole country? In cash. Okay, that's a demand to the government. The government is going to fix up these buildings, fix up the street, and clean up these streets. It's ridiculous out here. I do not like it.

It's ridiculous. Right now, I'm going to mind my fucking business. Thank you very much. Have a nice day. Clear the way. Why are they listening to her? She's probably, probably have never really, like, seen a woman, like, assert herself like that. Yeah.

Is that legal? Are those eyebrows legal? I don't, I'm not sure what's happening there. No, I'm not sure what's happening. That was good. Oh, my God. Oh, I do love that. Why is her sure to buy some?

I would love to know. I don't know. It's great, though. She's, she's very New York. She's very New York. She's like putting her demands out there. Right. Like a New Yorker, New Yorker in the throes of Pakistan.

This woman's saying, this is unacceptable. Yeah. For me, you're in Pakistan. Like, it's probably pretty acceptable. But maybe the people like are like, no, we actually agree with her. We want things changed. Bizarre twists. She refused multiple attempts to send her home,

including tickets from an NG or, Pakistani authorities even placed her in a psychiatric examination. Her son described her as, quote, mentally unstable. Oh. Random. The situation gained significant media attention with some, okay. Why are they giving her 100 mics? Yeah, and also, that's not a bizarre twist.

They're like, bizarre twist. She's mentally unstable. Of course. Like, what do you mean? That's actually the norm. Pakistan to marry a 19-year-old. And she wants $100,000. What happened happening with the 19-year-old?

I think he said, hell no. Okay. Right? I don't know. Oh, my God. It didn't work out. It didn't work out. Sometimes things don't work out.

Anytime you guys are like, oh, my mom, my mom, my mom. Like, your mom could be in Pakistan demanding $100,000 from the government to reconstruct the infrastructure. I know right where my mom is. She's laying in bed. Yes, mine too, probably. A thousand percent. Yeah. My mom?

Yours is not. She's at the pickleball courts. Yeah. She's up and back of that. Yeah. Absolutely. Laying it down. Connor, I got you like a like I wouldn't say like going away present but like a go an

acknowledgement of is that of you moving to New York that's it I like do want you to open it because it has something to do with something that's been said on the podcast if you don't mind do you want me to do it right now okay new York remember me just saying yes please hanker jungle where dreams oh Connor I know you would have loved that that is so that empty piece of tissue paper might seem empty, but it's not. It has some weight to it. Okay. Oh my God.

Oh my God, Connor. Of course. This is so beautiful. Oh. You might not know what it is at first. Is that a meatball? It is a meatball. You know, over the next thing.

Oh, my God. It is a meatball. It has a butthole. It's a meatball. Anything to say? I demand a hundred thousand. because he had said when he was packing he had found tell him what you had found

oh my god broke your life he found a meatball and a ravioli oh my gosh so I feel like that could be because you love knickknacks maybe that could be your first that is so huge I have to ask how you found this stuff so I was familiar with the I had seen the ravioli plate yes before at world market

so I thought of that when you were telling the ravioli story And then I just Googled fake meatball. And they had a six-pack on Amazon. What did you do with the other side? I did throw them out. That is so cute. Oh, honey. Water spilling, water spilling.

Oh, love you, love you. Don't sit down because you spilled your water. Oh, damn. Well, I hope that you can just put that in your apartment when you get it. Oh, use the toilet paper. Use the toilet paper. Oh, my God. Thank you so much.

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These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. So the ravioli meatball lore is from when I first moved to L.A., I used to always go to Trader Joe's. and get these meatballs. The chicken ones? No, they were just like standard. I think they're turkey actually.

Okay, sorry, I'm gonna go, but nice to see you guys. They are poultry meatballs. And they're coming a bag, and you dump that bag into the air fryer, and you just click play. Yeah. And then all of a sudden you're just like eating 12 meatballs. You're growing protein mode.

But like when I went to move out of my place, for whatever reason, there was one meatball left, like in the bottom of my freezer. and I was like, I felt sad for this meatball. I was like, how long have you been here? My understanding was that it was out of the freezer before. Like, I thought that you just kept it, like, out. No.

That's better. Well, like, here's what happened. So it was, like, in the freezer and I felt sad. I, like, personified this meatball. And I was like, I'm, like, how long have you been underneath all the baskets, like, at the bottom of the freezer? And then I had already taken my trash out. So I was like, I can't even put this in a trash bag and take it out.

I'll just put it in this cup. and I put it in a cup and then there was also a ravioli down there at the bottom of the freezer and I was like and then I put the ravioli in the cup too and the ravioli fit right on top of the meatballs's head

and it looked like a graduation gap on top of the meatball this is reverse but yeah it has the same feel to it this is so sweet were they in the cup together but in the freezer

no they were both loose yeah okay they were loose I had one loose where did you find Where were they? At the bottom of the freezer. No, no, no, once they got in the cup. Oh, I put them in a box to move to my next place.

Where'd you find them recently? In my Kitchen Island cabinet. Okay, that was my question. Were they rot it? And they're still, no, that's the thing about the Trader Joe's food. Like, I really need to wake everybody up. Trader Joe's is, no. Like, that meatball has lived completely in meatball form in my cabinet.

same with the ravioli for three years with its with its ravioli cap congrats and I'll congrats grad and I could probably put it into the air friar and cook it up yeah I've been to Trader Joe's thank you Brooke this is really sweet I love this I love this thing that is like a very like thoughtful gift it is so thoughtful I'm not I'm not very good at gift giving so I really appreciate that

I really I really appreciate that I love this. Love it. I'm glad. I will say that I haven't gone to Trader Joe's in a long time because the energy has just been off. At Trader Joe's? Or with you?

At Trader Joe's. Like the energy is weird. Like off. In what way? Well, I don't know if it's because of the day of the week that I always choose to go to Trader Joe's, but it's always like... Is it like a Tuesday?

No, it's usually like Sunday, which is just like... Oh, Sunday night? Yeah. The energy in the world. No, but it's like freaky. Like, I'm in sweats, but like some people are like, it just feels like everyone's looking at you in a bad way.

I feel like everyone's been looking at me with my Rachel season three. In a good way. Yeah. Yeah, because it's framing your face. Yeah. Yeah, it's the face framing. Yeah. Sorry.

Everyone's been looking at me going, she's too tall. We don't like it. No. How tall are you? At 511. Oh. Like Taylor Swift. That's great.

Yeah, that's a great height. I wouldn't care. I'd kill for it. No, I think I, I think what's like five sevens? I, I'd even kill over 5.3. 5.3 would be my... What are you?

4.11. Oh, we're a full foot apart. Yeah. That's actually really beautiful. It really is beautiful. You should see... Should we stand up? Yeah, let's do that. I'm not wearing shoes, too.

And I am 410 and 3 quarters. I'll be honest. That rounds up. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. I feel... I'm the monster on the hill.

And I feel like people don't realize how short I am until I'm, like, next to someone. But I think I'm like No We can sit back down Okay My thighs are sledding on the chair

That's all that Okay That happens That happens That's why it's so hard to wear shorts Well I came to L.A I don't know In my mind

Like being from Chicago I was like it's gonna be hot hot Hot hot When I moved here I only brought shorts And tank tops In January It's genuinely like the biggest

Lie about California as a whole And especially like L.A It's freezing 365 days a year in L. It's not actually I wouldn't say that Except for

Well, at night. When the sun goes down, when the sun goes down, we may be moving. When the night. When the sun goes down, we may be grooving. But when the sun goes down and it drops below 60, you better bring a layer. I agree. You do need an or an adjacent. That's fine, too.

Thanks. That's fine. Gene jackets do work. Okay. I brought a jean jacket. And I've got mostly like legs out. Yeah. Rain boots.

Sorry, I was looking at my phone. in my phone. Because I knew I forgot something. One thing about me is I loved to look at my phones. No, yeah, it's a passion project for me as well. But I just,

I had something that I wanted to say that I wrote down. Okay, I'm ready. Does anyone else have something they want to say before that though? No. No. It's,

you're not going to believe it's, it is stupid. What? Yeah, you are not going to believe it. I don't think, yeah, I'm ready. Let's see. I want to start smoking cigars.

Wait, do you smoke cigarettes? No. Oh, well, you're not, yeah, I didn't think you did. I want a thing. What about, Cigars, big fat cigars.

Like, I just, like, want a thing. Because I don't, I feel like I don't have one. You have the Rachel season three right now. You don't need cigars. That's true. But when I wash my hair, like, I just want to be, oh, you know that girl that smokes cigars? Oh, yeah, that's kind of cool. I didn't.

Would you said that? I was like, I don't see it. But to be the girl that smokes cigars. Which one is she again? The one with the stokey. The one that had the big stokey. Yeah. The one with the stokes.

Are you bringing them to parties? Or are you going to loungers? Because, you know, they have a cigar lounges? Okay, parties. And I honestly, I'm considering just like, suck, like not lighting them, just kind of like having them. Suck it on them. Are you going to hold it like this or like this? I envisioned this.

Yeah. It's, it's fat. Yeah, they're fat. Yeah. Chode cigarette. You should go to parties sit on the balcony and then like, be like, yeah. Be like, can you go get so and they like, and like, they'll go be like, hey, Brooke wants to talk to you. And then like the person's like, like, oh.

my God because you're looking out of the cigar you're like here yeah yeah and I'm gonna have that like cigar cutter as a keychain on my yeah I actually really like this for you yeah and because everyone's always has a vape I don't have that either it just it seems I just thought of it the other day and I said that's yeah yeah yeah it could be cool I think it'd be really cool that's something that's gonna happen then you could have like a brand deal with cigars yeah I remember in like they also make like small little skinny cigars switch or sweets I don't want this I don't want this I don't I want skinny. You want the big, bad ass ones?

Yeah. The chubby ones. Yeah. Yeah. I think that will be, like, very fun. And cool, too. It could be both. It could be both.

I think that's a cool move for you. Keep us updated. Okay, I will. Last time I switched a cigar, I threw up onto my shoes. Why do you throw up from cigars? You can't inhale them, apparently, but it's like, you said I'm smoking this cigar, no? Isn't it like a hundred cigarettes or something? There's no nicotine.

It's something evil. Tobacco? There's something in there. What's in a cigar? Tobacco. No, it tasted like just... Should I just start, like the chew? Oh, no.

What is that? Dip. Dip. What is that? They put it, like, doesn't it, like, cut open your... There's a little piece of glass in it. Yeah. I don't know if I want to do that.

A cigar is a role of fermented tobacco. Mmm, that sounds so good. I agree. I'm craving it. My grandpa smoked, but then he said he would quit, but he had a beard and you would see the cigar. Like, I quit years ago. I'd be like, like, you smell like it and it can see it in your beer.

Yeah. And you know, when they like, they were like, I can't I'll be doing that you'll be on the like a coy fish looking for a a bite

but yeah I don't every week on the pod you're smoking a cigar can you look like a cigar why are cigar is bad for you why are cigars bad for you

I'm a young man on Fiver what's Fiverr it's a great app okay I love apps lung damage addiction I might just do like

I might just do where I got the fake meatball I might just do fake cigar Yeah that's really cute Yeah they make prop things where you can just like suck on it It lights up I want one of the The long thing Yes

What's her name? Corrella Deville Yes She's like I don't with no cigarette in it And people are always like what's Like I'm opposite to you Where they're like that cool cigar girl They're like that weird holder girl

I don't think anyone would be saying That cool cigar girl In my town That girl that's insane the same height as her cigar out there. Yeah, I think that yeah. Yeah. I am going to have to reconsider the rebrand.

Oh, cigars do contain nicotine. Which is highly addictive. I had one cigarette at once in a plant. They make you puke. I've only smoked, well, I took one puff of one cigarette. I was obviously wasted, vomited into a plant. Yeah. So, no, not for me.

I can't do it. Yeah, can't do it. Can't get it down the hatch. I mean, I wish. No, no, I don't. Why would I say that? Right. I just want to...

I didn't know what you guys' vibe was. I wanted to check in. No, no, no, no. That's... Yeah, I agree that I just want something to look cool that does not damage my health. Do you have the hair? And at the end of the day, it's the racial Cason 3 cut. The R.S.3.

Yeah. You could get a gun. Oh, my God, get a gun. And I had just like a pistol strapped in me. No, like on your hip in the holster. The girl with a pistol. There's a girl with a gun. out there that wants to talk to you.

And then you could like, if someone's like has attitude, you could just kind of touch it. Yeah. Oh my God. You could open up your blazer and show them that you're packing. I was about to say Brooke's packing tonight. Hey, Brooke's packing out there. Be like, should we invite Brooke for like, I don't know if she has that gun now. Yeah.

But she does have the racial season three. So it's like one's good, one's bad. Well, not bad. I don't, whatever you guys think. Okay. Whatever you think I think. Yeah. That's what I want to say.

I agree. And everyone in the comments also. Yeah. Okay, so choosing between a cigar and a gun. Is that girl with a good hair cut and the Glock? Yeah. She's got the good hair and the clock. Yeah.

Becky with the good and the Glock. Yeah. Amber. They are good. Sorry, I take a minute. I take a minute. Yeah, you're totally fine. Oh my God.

When do you go to New York? TBD, but all my stuff has sold on Facebook marketplace. When do you have to be out of your apartment? Friday. E! TGIF. It's so fantastic because I've been on Facebook Marketplace. place, which can be such a gorgeous place.

Or one of the scariest. It is the scariest place on the planet. Yeah. Because everyone, it feels like traitors season three. Like, it's like, are you going to scam me? Am I going to scam you? I have my brother's on it. I know, Dylan.

Do you like him too? He's sweet. I actually don't know him at all, but I'm not, I'm not feeling like the draw that I did to his brother. Okay. I tried to watch. but it just it's like it's like weird being on there being like I can't tell if you're gonna kill me yeah or scam me and I'll be like

does Venmo work and I'm waiting for them to be like no my son's gonna cash up you from his account five hundred dollars and then you're gonna send him back a thousand and then I'll come get the couch but they're just like yeah Vinma works but I'm like you know like when the name is like a name that I haven't heard in 50 years I'm like okay no but and then you have to give them your address because it's pickup only. So I'm not going to bring my couch and come meet you at Ralph's. So, TPD on who's actually going to buy stuff.

But I'm getting rid of everything and it is going to be just clothes. And I had a mover that was going to come. I want some of your clothes. Move everything out. To remember you buy. Get this. I have like five boxes of Goodwill. I randomly have about 100 costumes.

I'm sure you do. Belly dancer charms and a Grinch outfit. and all of, and I start putting the boxes outside in the crib and I was going to go pull my car up and load it up, take it to Goodwill, and my parents were here. And then I go out there.

Gone. Six containers of costumes, clothes, like objects, basketballs. Multiple. Who loaded up? But you know what? That person needed it. Definitely.

people like driving around looking for that someone someone was driving skr they backed up they got took everything yeah oh it was like i was like it was me and brook actually we drove by it was like not a speck of dust was left yeah gone well i mean that kind of saved you the trouble yeah that's i mean i was like okay cool that's that's it so i think i'm just going to start leaving stuff in the alley new york you can yeah new york you can leave like a blender on the sidewalk and someone's running Yeah. They're running down the street. Everything I've left on the street has been gone in a few seconds.

Yeah, I'm excited to just start dumping sack on the alley. Yeah. They don't have alleys in New York. They do have alleys in New York. Alley City. Really? But why don't they put their trash back there? Why don't they put their trash back there then?

Proud of their trash. They're a prideful city. Something just happened with the trash there, you were telling me. They got cans. Yeah. They got cans? Congrats New York. They just got.

in cans. Like, I feel like did they just hear about cans or something? I'm like, why did they just get cans? That confused me too. The mayor of New York when Chicago he said, I see what you guys are doing. The mayor of New York was like, I have huge

news, you guys. We're getting cans. We're getting jugs. Oh my God. We're getting a new set of jugs. Yay. New York is so cool. I'm jealous.

You get to live there. Could never live there. It should be great. It should be great, you guys. I thought I found my dream apartment yesterday. I got a phone call from Hunter. He went toward it with a real estate agent. He goes,

that's going to be a no but his no is like no no no the real estate agent goes no that uh what was wrong with it you cannot you should not be able to falsely advertise an apartment on

street easy or zillo it looked like the most gorgeous home that's their whole thing they used like jail they love to be like yeah come see this one bedroom and then it is a prison how does that benefit anybody to like have it It benefits the people who can't come see it in purse, or the realtor when, or the landlord when they can't come see it and per year.

I mean, I would have based on how gorgeous this thing was. Oh my God. But I think I have an apartment. It's just really high up, but I'm scared of heights randomly now. Just don't look out the window. That's like the whole point of it. Ceilings are really tall. I'm excited for it.

But so I think I have a place. I'll know like soon. Yay. I'll know soon. I don't think there's, I think I can kind of talk a little smack. I could not figure out how, to submit all my documents because there's a three-step process where you have to submit stuff for this department and I got an email yesterday and I was trying so hard I was like it's like it was like

it felt like trying on 10 pairs of pants with your mom at old Navy it was like why are we doing more pants like I and let them your shirt turn around if that's what it felt like when you said the word submit documents I almost passed out like but it was like I manually third party site yeah no it's it's like applying to a job and then being like okay submit your resume and then also manually fill out everything you've ever done. Oh my god. I don't want the job anymore. So I'm filling all this stuff. But I do. Please reach out to me. For the third time this broker reaches out and goes, I literally just opened your application and nothing's done and it's my day off. I don't know how to make it more simple for you. He sounds sweet. I just like, I would love to have like a normal life too. I just would like one thing to just be

like, hey, my application's all said submitted, thank you. And he's like, you didn't do literally anything. Oh, my God. I was like, well, my friend Brooke has a gun and she'll be there shortly. And a cigar. Yeah, and a cigar. And she's a gun. Yeah, and she's coming.

She met, kill it. My friend Maggie's seven foot nine and she's coming. Broke and Maggie are on their way, so don't move. Yeah, they've got a cigar and a gun. To put you in jail. If we had a podcast, it had to be called one foot apart, right? One foot. Oh, one foot in front.

of the other one foot between it. One foot between. We'll workshop it. Yeah. That's really good. And then me and Connor's ADHD are. Yeah, that's good. That's us in the green room.

That's why Maggie and I have so much fun in the green room because it's like. Zadadadza. We do the Zubi-Zoo. Yeah. Oh, that's fun. That's really fun. And then we got our friend Harrison to do it too. That's fun.

I'd be dead silent in the green room. Also, oh, no. Just do to make a talk. Also, no. I would like to say this like doing this, 17,000 cameras is way scarier than live. There's no way, Maggie. The people in the comments, they're SpongeBob. You don't know who they are. In person, they're shaking their boots to say anything. Evil. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's no one evil. Wait, no, actually.

Like, I feel like online, like everyone can just be evil as possible. Yeah. In person. No one's I'm going to say anything crazy. I mean, they're going to say crazy like I had depression and I had a gun and then you changed my life. Like that kind of stuff where you're like, oh, for sure. For me, it's like in a podcast, you can cut. You can be like, oh, I'll be right back. If, like, something comes up. I'm always scared like something's going to happen. Like, to me, like, I'll panic or something.

And if I panic here, I can be like, excuse me. But if I panic on stage, it's like, I can't cut that. But then like, immediately someone in the audience would be like, you got this wreck? And then you're like, well, I am very lucky with our audience that I could literally just be like, I'm having panic. I'll see you in a second. Yeah, that's good. Okay, actually you got me there. Yeah.

But I will say in the green room, what's really toxic about me, like, is walking and being like, I'm not going to have a drink tonight. And then Connor's like, yeah, I'm going to get me neither. And then he's like, well, actually, I think I'm going to get one. And then I go, okay, because, well, you better get one then too. And then I have 17,000. Well, it's also vice versa. Oh, a thousand percent.

Yeah. Let's go like, let's just like, you know, we're in Memphis. Yeah. Like, let's just, because we have to be up in 6 a.m. She's like, well, we are in Memphis. I'm like, yeah, we should maybe have one drink. It's fun because in the green room Before I had

People I knew in the green room And Maggie and stuff I would sometimes go to a place That I've never been before And didn't know anyone And be in the hotel room And I would get to the green room And I would get to the green room

And someone's reading a book One of the other comments reading a book And I'm And I'm like okay And then the other person's like outside Smoking weed the whole time And I would just be like Crickets

I really, you too You too You too. Okay have to go. No, that's crazy. I know. It's been, what the hell? I feel like I have a lot of things. No, I don't. Do you? No, but I would. Any last words? I want to say thank you so much. I want to say thank you so much. You guys are having a dream. You're just like a dream. Having one, a dream guest. It's like having an extension of our one brain cell. Not that you have one brain cell.

Oh, my God. No. But it's like where we. No, I'm. Oh, I'm a meeting of the minds for sure. The meaning of the minds. Um, and I can't wait to see the future of you guys as you're, by coastal. I'm looking forward to seeing what that looks like as well. It's going to be really beautiful. It's going to be great. You get to spend time in New York. Yeah.

You could to spend time back here. I'm in Chicago if you guys ever both want to come. Yeah, me in the middle. And we'll jump in the lake. Yeah. I do need to come to Chicago. Really quickly, I just need to say I was nonstop talking last week about something that I was doing on Friday. Yes.

Did you see that? Of course. But did you know what I did? No. Wait, look at my phone background. No one got it right, by the way. No one knew who there's no way that someone could get it right. Did you tell everybody yet?

No, I can't tell you what I did for two weeks, but I, I can't say for two weeks what I had done. Do you, have you ever seen anything like that in your life? I'm panicking. And I, okay, I can't say it because I don't, but I know, I know assistant. You know what? Assistant. His, they're assistant. Sorry.

All I'll say, no one's gotten the person, but it's like, think. like Harry Styles and that's all I'll say. That is like someone's fundamental to my DNA but not that I would talk about it every day. Someone's gonna get it. I can't believe you about Joe Biden. That's crazy. I know. Can you fucking believe that? That is, I'm.

No, that's. I have so much to say. Okay, I can't wait to be able to unpack but I can't yet. I can't wait to you. Did you hear about Joe Biden by then? Let's go. Let's go to the boat. He's signed with CIA. He's bisexual.

Thank you guys. Thank you so much. Love you all. I mean Maggie, not you guys. Ian Maggie are going to be on tour. Yay. We're going, check just, it's on my Instagram. and we have two

shows, two big shows in Chicago. We added a second show. At Tyler Hall. Oh, yay. That one's not sold out yet. It's not. And if it doesn't tell out, Brooke has a gun.

Yeah. So, we're just getting a glas. Thank you guys so much for listening. And we'll see you in the bonus. Thank you. Oh, wait. Hang on.

Check our YouTube subs. Check our, we're so close. Not there yet. It's a YouTube sub. Like how many subscribers? Where are we? Where are we? Because we're almost at 100,

so we almost get the. I just want to get too hard. Wait, I think I subscribe it if I don't, I will. Because I think mine is a... Wait, we're so close, right? I think so, yeah. Wait, I'm clicking on it. You guys...

99.5! That means... It would be the week. This is the week. If you're from the south side of Chicago and you don't subscribe, I'll never talk to you again. Call out the south side.

That's where I'm from. Brooke has a gun. Okay. I have to pee really bad. There's no way, inhale, that this episode doesn't get flagged. We said, gun, porn, gang bang, like 400 times.

So thank you guys. If you see this, if you even see this. Did they take it down? I don't know. I think they just punish us. I think they just flag you if you say stuff in like the first few minutes. Okay. Oh, good.

I waited a little bit to say porn, gun, gang, bang. Okay. Thank you guys so much for listening. We'll see you in the bonus. Bye. Did you know if your windows are bare, indoor temperatures can go up 20 degrees? Get ahead of summer with custom window treatments like solar roller shades from blinds.com and save up to 45% off during the Memorial Day early access sale. Whether you want to

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