Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - The Jugs Film Festival
Episode Date: May 25, 2023MERCH: http://bncmerch.com Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://tmgstudios.tv This week, Brooke and Connor have a lot to discuss from Connor’s first Spirit flight experience, the Wizard’s Snapc...hat mix up, and the viral blue couch that is trending all over Twitter. Plus, Brooke may or may not be experiencing appendicitis (we still aren’t really sure). Hold onto your jugs for this one! Highlights Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/BrookeAndConnorHighlights Email us at DearBandC@gmail.com !! If you listen on Apple Podcasts, go to: https://apple.co/bandc Go to https://Zocdoc.com/BANDC and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top- rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. On Tinder, it starts with a Swipe. Download Tinder today and explore all of the possibilities for yourself. Go to https://EarthBreeze.com/bandc to save 40% off your order! Get PayPal Honey for FREE at https://JoinHoney.com/bandc. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa 0:00 Cough Drop Problems 0:32 Intro 1:06 Old Dog, New Tricks 2:51 Reminiscing on Kid Games 3:35 Weekend Recap 8:29 Brooke’s Appendicitis 11:07 Urgent Care Role Play 14:01 ZocDoc 15:56 Unnecessary Human Organs 21:46 Life Without Fibs 23:28 Connor’s First Spirit Experience 26:46 Tinder 27:47 The Flight From Hell 30:30 Connor’s Turbulence Idea 32:55 Too Fast, Too Furious 35:00 Connor Takes A Tumble 38:02 Earth Breeze 41:27 What’s a Nugget Game? 44:50 Childhood Memories 45:55 Notes App Deep Dive 50:04 Honey 52:14 Blue Couch Gate 56:45 The Wizards Snapchat Intern 1:00:00 How To Avoid Screenshot Controversy 1:01:55 Huge Basketball Chicas 1:03:32 Wicked Origin Story 1:05:38 Working At The Oscars 1:07:53 Spongebob Deep Dive 1:10:53 Montana Tik Tok Ban 1:14:45 The Jugs Festival 1:16:02 The Idol 1:17:10 Rotten Tomatoes Reviews 1:20:05 Bad High School Nicknames 1:20:31 Congrats Jeff 1:21:10 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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You know, it's going to be incredible.
Tasting coffee after putting, like, a cough drop in my mouth.
Are you being sarcastic?
No, I think it's going to be horrible.
Yeah, that's, yeah.
That's worse than probably brushing your teeth and then drinking orange juice.
I bet it's pretty similar.
To me, I was picturing, like, what a duck would taste in an oil spill.
What'd you say?
Nothing.
A duck in an oil spill?
That's, like, the taste I was getting.
Like, gassy oil?
Petrol.
Petrol.
Petrol.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, Brooke.
Hi, Connor.
Are you ready to MAP?
I'm ready to pee.
Ignorance is bliss.
I'm living in a world of my own and it's awesome.
Oh, I thought I was responsible for 9-11 when I was five.
Where were you?
In Pennsylvania.
Touch grass, might I suggest.
We're just going to dive right in today.
Hey, guys.
Welcome back to Brooke and Connor Make a podcast.
we need like a better transition from there
I know I know I go here we are
I'm I completely agree with you
Hey guys welcome back
So we should have a slogan after that
And goes like
Well we could do
The
Whoa whoa whoa whoa
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah
And that signifies that we're starting
Well I think we should have like a welcome back
To Brooklyn Connor make a podcast where we
It's too late
Where we dot the T's and cross our eyes
It's too late you can't
What episode are we on 70?
65. No, because
69 was last week.
Yeah. It's too late.
No, it's never too late to teach you. It's always too late to improve.
That's what I say. Do you think Bobi, the oldest dog in the world with a boner, would approve of that?
You can totally teach a dog new tricks.
You can't teach this dog new tricks.
Hey.
I think I have learned everything that I'm going to learn.
No, not in my watch.
Do you see me picking up a new language?
No.
Yeah.
But that's a weird example.
I could see you.
Do you see me starting to play guitar?
No.
Right.
I think I've mastered all the skills that I'm going to have.
No.
I mean, you started knitting this year.
No, I knew how to knit in when I was like eight.
I could see you getting into like fishing.
I know it seems crazy.
Yeah.
I don't think so because it bothers me when the hook goes in the fish's mouth.
Right.
If there's a magnetic way that I could fish be a magnet, that would be fine.
that would be fine.
There is.
There's gotta be a better way.
What is it?
Well, it's a toy.
It's for kids.
Oh, I love that toy.
Yeah, that's fun.
When you put them in the kiddie pool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We should get that.
We should for the pod.
I could see us spending hours going fishing.
I know.
For the pod.
I also love that one where it's called something.
It's got the elephant's trunk and it's the elephant.
Hungry hipham?
Nope.
The elephant had so many butterflies in his trunk for some reason.
And he spout.
them out like this and you have to catch them with a net.
What a brilliant game for kids.
That is good.
Did you guys see that?
Yeah, never had that one.
Ella fun.
Speaking of kids' games, this is fun.
Hungry, hungry hippo.
Incredible.
I would love to play that with friends.
That one, that's a game of luck.
I don't agree at all.
It's a game of speed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you can't go any faster than...
You'd be surprised.
No, but also, if the balls are not in your court, then you're not eating them.
The balls will be in your court depending...
It's not even about...
who's going the fastest per se it's about whose rhythm right is enticing the balls to your court so it is a game of skill after all it is a game of skill wow who is that hungry hungry hippo yeah and you know what other game is really good that i actually like you could totally play on your own as an adult that car one where it's like you get a card and it tells you how to arrange the cars on your board and then your job is to figure out how to get all the cars
off of the board
without crashing into each other.
You know it.
Can someone look up
colorful car game?
You would know it.
No, I don't think...
I wouldn't...
That's not even ringing any bells for me.
Which is fine.
Do you guys think what I'm talking about?
I'm not explaining it well at all.
I've seen it as like a mobile game,
but yeah, you have to like unblock
the parking.
Yes, but it's like the board game of that.
It's not even a board game.
It's like, it's on a...
Not necessarily a board,
but more of like a grass.
A portable graph.
That.
Oh, yeah.
See, I've never seen this.
Really?
No.
Oh, that's fun.
You just have to figure out how to get all of the cars off of that.
Traffic.
Traffic jam.
Yeah.
Very cool.
Yeah.
Nah, pass.
Oh.
I don't need any skill games.
I get, I almost want to snap my phone over me.
You don't like puzzles?
I want to almost snap my phone over my leg when we play Wordle.
So I don't think that.
But you love it deep down, I think.
I don't think the traffic jam is.
the thing for me. Do you not like puzzles?
No. God no.
Really? Hell no.
I remember doing a puzzle with you.
Or was it someone else? No, there was a puzzle
there, but I was committed
for one day and then when I came back the next day
and I was like, why is this still here?
Oh. You work on it for several days. I feel like you
were really fixated on it though.
My memory serves me.
Yeah, I blacked out that time period of my life.
I mean, I was playing a puzzle. How was your weekend?
Connor?
I did nothing.
Nothing.
You couldn't have done nothing.
I did nothing.
You want to lie?
Maybe you lie about something you did?
I can't even think of something to lie about.
Okay.
I went to Kazu, though.
That's good.
That's good.
Which if you guys don't know is the best sushi in the entire world.
It's Sugarfish's sister.
Restaurant and Sugarfish is also the best sushi.
But Kazu is just hand rolls and the rice is so,
warm and the fish is so cold and the seaweed is so crunchy it's like the most insane sensory experience
and it tastes good do you have anything to add no that's pretty much that's pretty much it
it is really good so good that's like a fish oh i tried never mind i'm not going to tell that story
just tell it a week ago i went out for mother's day and we got we had a couple drinks and we went and
we went and got sushi.
And I was like, this looks suspect.
And it was.
Like, if you're ever saying to yourself, that fish doesn't look like it's going to sit right,
it's not going to.
Right.
So also don't eat it and then just lay horizontal for eight hours.
Are you the kind of person that, like, when you taste something and you're like, oh,
this isn't good.
Like, this is going to give me food poisoning.
You'll keep going to kind of see, like, maybe, like, just kind of testing further.
Or you'll stop right away.
No, I weigh my options.
Like, if I'm in an airport and I'm going to.
get on a long flight and I had already purchased something
and I'm getting on my flight, I'm not throwing that away.
I'm eating it.
When I went to jail and they gave me my food and I was so hungry,
I was like, this is sick in the head.
But after all, I am in jail.
So it's kind of re-framing at like what other options do I have.
In this scenario, I do need to eat this jail food
because I don't know when I'm leaving.
So at this difficult time, I'm going to eat this bologna.
Right.
for me it's like I will do that
even if I'm at like a restaurant
that's not a jail and I can
freely order something else
I'll take like at least 10 bites to confirm
that I think it's going to give me food poisoning
every time I've been like this is going to give me food poisoning
it gives me food poisoning
without fail
I think that I have chronic food poisoning
like I think I just
wake up every day with food poisoning
like I think my baseline
is everyone else's food poisoning
does that make sense
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I have nothing I can say that. Because this is never been, we've never claimed to be a health and wellness podcast.
In fact, there's always something. That's why we're sponsored by Zoc Doc, because we're always booked an appointment.
What questions do you have for me about my appendicitis?
Here's the thing about your appendicitis. We have to stop saying what kind of questions do you have for me?
Oh, I, because that's giving me appendicitis.
Okay. I can't because it's like, it's not just like a bit. It's like more so compulsion.
at this point.
You can give me three.
Can you give me three times to say it?
Yeah.
Counting that one or starting fresh now.
Starting fresh.
Okay.
Three.
Okay.
I haven't not said it yet.
I used to get three what ifs when I was a kid.
I could ask my parents three what if.
Like what if like a plane flies into our house.
What if?
And I got three of those.
And then after the third, they would be completely silent in response to any of my what
ifs.
Okay.
We can't do that because this is a podcast.
So on your third.
I guess you just ignore it.
Okay.
Or I'll Venmo you five bucks.
That's good too.
Per questions.
Yeah, what questions?
Okay, what are you wondering about my current appendicitis?
Is it her, what do you mean?
I'll tell you.
I'll tell you.
Because we have had several friends that have had.
This is the most sure I've been that this is more than just your garden variety
stomachache.
Because it's not even in my stomach.
But your appendicit.
appendix your appendice what is it appendix it's a it's in the bottom right of your abdomen i know
yeah basically yesterday last night i like got this cramp and then i was like oh that's weird i've
never had that specific feeling before and it did not go away but it migrated like to my butt and now
i just have like a stomach ache in my butt and i and it's so persistent and i don't know what it could be
and I don't want to go to urgent care
because I don't want to be like
my butt hurts
as a 26 year old girl
Well the good news is
HIPAA.
Well, one thing HIPAA.
So patient doctors are confidentiality
So you'll just have to never see one person ever again
Right.
Which is fine.
Second thing is your appendix isn't located to your butt.
No, but it's like very much like butt lower abdomen
Lower back abdomen
combo.
Maybe you slipped a disc.
There's no discs where I'm experiencing this comfort.
Well, I don't know why I'm diagnosing you.
Sorry for your, sorry for the situation.
And Google says in rare cases, appendix can cause this feeling in your butt.
Well, Google is.
Or anal cancer.
Hey.
Okay.
Do you want to know what I did this weekend?
Roll play.
I'm going to urgent care.
You're the doctor.
I'm myself.
Okay.
You start because you have just walked into the room that I'm in.
All right.
By the way, when the doctor knocks, I don't ever say anything.
Do you?
I go, come in.
I don't say anything.
They'll come in.
No, if you say don't come in.
I'll say don't come in if they shouldn't come in.
But if I'm ready, I don't say anything.
They do always knock.
Yeah, of course.
And I'm sitting there on the paper like, hello, come on in.
There is nothing worse than climbing up on.
that for me as somebody whose legs can't reach a thing.
Climbing up onto that, ripping the paper as I go.
Completely.
Then the paper completely falls off of the chair when I'm trying to situate myself.
Man, it sucks for me because I'm like.
I sit there with my legs dangling.
I don't know when they're going to come in.
What's in all these cabinets?
I'm like going through all their stuff.
Yeah.
That's why I'm glad they knock because I got to go.
Yeah.
I was just over here on my phone before you came in.
I'm sure they have cameras in there.
No, I think that would be illegal.
I broke.
People change.
Oh, yeah.
Anyways.
Okay.
Let's go.
I already got back in my seat so I can't knock on the door again.
Knock, knock, knock.
Brog?
Hi.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Are you Lady Ephron?
No.
Oh.
That's my sister.
I was going to say, I love your podcast.
Hmm.
Yes, that is my sisters.
I'll tell her.
I'll tell her.
So what are you, what's bringing you in today?
So, basically what had happened was I was experiencing some cramping in my lower abdomen.
Right.
And it's since migrated to kind of like an extreme discomfort in my butt.
Okay.
Okay.
just looking at you, I can tell you have anal contusions.
Just, I can see it in your eyes.
What we're going to need you to do here,
I don't want to continue talking because I would have to look it into your body.
Do you think that?
Oh my God, then I can't go if they're going to do that.
Well, then I guess.
I think they'll probably give me a, actually, you know what I was doing last night?
Because I've been watching so many doctor shows,
I gave myself an exam to see if my abdomen was distended,
even though I don't know what a non-descendant abdomen feels like
or what the stent...
Did you take any medicine for it?
I took gas sex and that didn't work
because it's not a gas pain
because I've been farting.
Fine.
Good catch.
Good catch.
Okay, well, I mean, we wish you the best.
Feel free to get on Zoc Doc and type in your symptoms.
Yeah.
No, I do think I will go to urgent care after this
if it persists.
This sucks because what happened to Matt King
and Carly is they,
They both were talking about their possible appendicitis on their pod.
And then by the time the podcast aired, they had both had their appendices removed.
Right.
Yeah.
And you don't want to be at the Grammys like Matt was.
Right.
I don't know.
Emmys.
Can we tell that story, Emmys?
Yeah, I don't think he'd care.
He's told it.
Oh, yeah.
Matt King was like texting in our group text.
He was like, hey, what does appendicitis feel like?
And I was like, you would know.
And he's like, okay, I'm laying in a hallway on the ground in a tux.
at the Emmys?
Do you think that that would be,
and I go,
you're gonna want to go to the hospital expeditiously.
Yeah.
And he did,
and he was losing an organ that night,
the evening of the Emmys.
Appendicitis is confusing, though,
because there's so many variations.
Like, by the time you get to the hospital,
like, you could either have, like,
a complete burst one
or one that's just, like,
a little inflamed,
and they won't even take it out.
How many of our organs don't do anything anymore?
Is there a bunch?
I feel like we're talking,
about Pluto joining and rejoining the planets.
Get rid of it.
Who fucking cares?
Appendix?
Goldbladder.
Take it out!
I know a lot of people that have had their goldbladder room in.
Imagine how much room I would have in my stomach and you got rid of all of these.
Okay.
Why have we not evolved to not have these?
Let's see.
Below we review seven vestigal organs.
Vestigil.
Okay, vestigil.
We've never claimed to be an English podcast.
Below we review seven vestigial organs, seven body parts we don't need.
I should have just said that.
So one, the appendix, obviously.
Two, wisdom teeth, obviously.
Do you still have yours?
Three, the cockcots.
Coxics.
Cossics are the tailbone sits at, right.
Yeah, I hate my coxics.
I have, like, bruised my coxics so bad once
that I could not walk for four days.
Get rid of my coxics.
So bad when you bruised that.
The external ear.
Have you ever watched a cat and seen his ears move
when they notice an interesting sound?
For many mammalian cousins,
the external ear acts like a satellite dish.
Like this piece?
You could just cut this off and have...
For us humans serving...
Huh?
You could just have a hole.
Oh, you could just have the hole.
Yeah.
Ew.
And I'm sure it has some sort of...
Like, I guess you could literally just have
a Voldemort knows.
No, because...
No.
But it serves the purpose of like protecting shit
from getting in there.
Yeah.
See, I would never...
We've never claimed to be a medical podcast,
but...
And I'm not going to speak.
against this publication in the University Health News Daily.
But I like my male nipples.
So for me, for me, that's not a vestigeal organ.
Right.
For me, they are serving a purpose because I do lactate time to time.
Right, but it's not, like what is coming out of you is not essential to life.
Not only do men have nipples, but they also have a small amount of breast material.
True, men of the nipples do not, I don't have big heavy jugs.
Right.
I do have my male nipples do not have much of a function, but they do exist for a very good reason.
Okay.
Early on in the womb, every fetus starts as a female until the Y chromosome kicks in and the fetus develops as a male.
In adolescence, the Y chromosome determines that the nipple and breast material do not develop into breasts.
Okay.
Well, me and Matt Rife ended up with a bunch of extra tissue under our nipples.
And that's what I have in common with Matt Rife.
Didn't he get them removed?
He did.
But his were an advanced, in an advanced stage.
What was number six?
Okay, number six is the erectorpele.
Walk through that.
Erecter peely, smooth muscles in the skin, fluffed up thick hair, improving heat retention
or making them look bigger or more.
Okay, I need more of these.
Wait, what is, if anyone's getting...
Here's one of those often unnoticed vestigal organs, the arrestor peely.
Our hairy ancestors were grateful for their erector peely when the weather was cold or when
a predator approached.
Erecter peely, smooth muscles in the skin.
Oh, erector peely, smooth muscles in the skin,
fluffed up their thick hair, improving heat retention,
or making them look bigger or more threatening.
Making what look bigger?
Them that are hairy cousins.
What do they call them?
Are hairy ancestors.
Erecter pelee contract when you receive a fighter flight
or are cold to give you goosebumps and raise rather humble hairs.
Erecter peely or goose bumps.
No, it's what's acting to give you goosebumps and stuff.
It's like when a dog's attacking and they're hairy.
get sick?
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, like when the, is it like when the hair stand up on your?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sure erectapelia are also in like pigeons when they fluff up so you get big.
Okay.
And then the pleases, don't even get me started.
You do peacocks?
Pigeons do it too.
Oh.
Old birds like do that thing.
Oh.
Also, don't even get me sorry about number seven.
The pleka similarly are honest.
Did you know you have a vestigial third eyelid?
Birds, reptiles, and amphibians haven't.
have a, they can make these words a little easier.
Nicitating membrane, a membrane that helps moisten and clean the eye.
The plicissimilaris is a small fold of tissue located inside the corner of your eye,
the flap next to the bump in the corner of your eye.
I don't feel that at all.
No, because of pigeons, reptiles, and amphibians.
No, did you know we have a vestigial third eyelid?
We have it.
This is an article about the things that we don't need.
Oh, I thought that was speaking about we as in amphibians and such.
So we do need the gallbladder and stuff, right?
I think it would help, but a lot of people I know have gotten their gallbladder removed.
And we do need two lungs, two livers, two kidneys?
No, no.
We have two kidneys?
We have one liver.
One liver.
You can have a little bit of it removed, if need be.
We have two kidneys.
You can have one removed.
We have two lungs.
I'm not sure if you can have a lung removed.
You know what I always think about the two lungs and the two.
kidneys like West Virginia
and Virginia
like northern South Dakota
oh interesting
let's see if you can have
one of your long
you can live your life without one of your lungs
one of your lungs
kidney your spleen appendix gallbladder
adenoids which I need removed
tonsils plus some of your lymph nodes
the fibula bones from each leg
so you do not need either of your fibs
you're completely
useless
does that help
you can live without me
but your quality of life
will decrease
significantly
I don't think it will
yeah may will
can you Google
will your quality of life
decrease without your fibula
life without fibula
life without fibulae
fibular free flat
triple F
okay
let's look here
oh yeah that first one
The fibular bone runs out the outside of the leg from the knee joint to the ankle joint.
It is a small then bone, much of which can be removed without affecting our ability to walk or bear weight.
Tough not to swallow over here.
Totally.
Okay.
What happens if you lose your fabula?
Yeah, nothing.
Okay.
Alrighty, Rue.
How was your weekend?
It was good.
I went to Dallas for a wedding.
and Thursday night I went to the Demelio shoe launch.
Oh, yeah.
And that was fun.
It went really late, like later than I thought it was going to.
And so when I finally got home, I was like, all right, I'm going to set all my stuff, get ready tonight.
So, you know, it was already packed everything.
I put everything at the door.
Put all my stuff at the door.
My roommate had laundry and the laundry machine.
I moved it to the dryer.
I, like, made coffee, put it in the fridge, ready to take it, ready to go, brush floss.
and then didn't plug in my phone.
So I did not wake up for my original flight.
Which is fine because I woke up like half an hour after.
It was still so early in the morning.
But there was only one other direct flight and it was on spirit.
I've never flown spirit.
Me neither.
I'm not better than spirit.
I'm not saying that at all.
I've just never had the opportunity presented where that was my only option.
Well, that's awesome that you were able to get this opportunity presented.
I will tell you that the terminal that I was in at LAX felt like,
you know when you go to like a Kmart and you're like
never been a Kmart? Is this still like a part of the store? Why are none of the lights on?
You know like are these people do you live in this Kmart?
That's what it felt like you're like every it smelled like shit honestly like the terminal there was actual
smell like poop and the gate agents are yelling at people I'm like where it's because
they have nothing to lose. No they don't. They don't.
Their reputation could not get worse.
I'm sitting there.
I'm like, all right, whatever.
I just need to get to my destination.
And it was just like a crazy experience.
I don't even want to, I don't even know if I can tell this story.
I don't want to get in trouble.
But like, there was a woman in front of me that was like,
like not speaking English.
But she was sitting in the exit around there.
And the lady was like, you need to speak English or move.
Oh my God.
Moved her over.
And then she comes to me and she goes,
are you willing and able to assist
because I was in the extra row
next to that woman?
And she goes, I go, yes.
And she goes, people, this is the answer
I was looking for.
And I go, don't want to be the example here.
That's fully abusive.
I was like, I do not want to be the example for you.
Right.
I was like, I had my hat all the way down.
I was like, you know,
a teacher's pet over here
at Spirit Airlines Gate 18A.
That was an accident.
And then I sat down, obviously,
whatever experience.
It was from the beginning, it's like, just tough, like getting on the plane.
They're kind of rickety.
Or I'm just over aware of, like, the plane itself.
I'm like, okay, this is like rickety.
Because you know your way around.
Don't tell me I know the word.
No, no, no, no, there's a word I'm looking for.
It's the, the cock, not the cockpit, not the phalanchey either.
The shaft of the plane?
Not the shaft.
The.
You're so close.
Do you know what I'm, you know what I'm thinking of?
Is it a VLand?
or an F?
It's an F.
What's the second letter?
You.
Fah.
Foo.
Fah.
Few.
Few.
Fue.
Okay.
Good job.
I do know my way around the fuselage.
And so I'm like, whatever, I sit down.
And then, oh, I took all these notes.
We kind of started hitting a lot of turbulence, which, like, I think for a Spirit
Airlines flight is just like normal flying.
Right.
Oh, I took a bunch of notes, actually.
One, here's one note.
Does anyone notice how when you step out of the airport and the first thing into that that tunnel jet bridge going on to the plane, you immediately lose service on your phone, even if you're not on Wi-Fi and you're sitting on tarmac?
Does anyone notice that?
They probably put blockers out there, huh?
I have service sometimes.
Like when you first start to take off, you have service.
But when you get on the plane and sit down, you do not have service.
I just learned that there are people that don't put their phone in airplane mode.
There's no point in not because once you're in the air, like you can't.
Right. I didn't, I thought, I truly thought if you didn't have your phone on airplane mode, complete disaster. Like, fatal. Like if one person had their phone off airplane mode, that would take the plane down. That was my understanding. Well, that was my understanding about not turning your car off when you're getting gas. That's also my understanding. But I did it and that my car is fine. Everyone's like, it's fine to do that. I'm like, now I, if I go, if I, if I die like that, that's just embarrassing. Yeah.
You know? Yeah. My dad said it doesn't matter if you put your phone on airplane mode. And he's a pilot?
Okay, so I'll never fly spirit again.
Obviously sit down, baby starts crying.
Someone is listening to like a podcast out loud.
Uh-huh.
So that was something else.
Yeah.
It was actually so loud that I had my headphones and I could hear.
Oh, damn.
Yeah, so that was crazy.
And you got some pushback because you use chord headphones.
Headphones with a core.
Yeah.
Why?
What do I do that?
Uh-huh.
I bring a pair of corded headphones.
headphones because if my AirPods die, I can charge them and then plug my headphones in.
But also if I'm on the phone, my audio is way better on accorded headphone.
Your big headphones in while talking on the phone guy.
Yeah, because I got to be scrolling on Instagram while I'm on the phone.
Yeah, yeah, copy, copy, copy.
Okay, so whatever, we land.
I had to make myself fall asleep because I was so nervous.
When we're about to land, my first.
friends texting me, hey, they're not letting people land in Dallas. They're rerouting to
Austin. And I'm like, oh, shoot. Spirit Airlines right through the eye of the storm. Now, they move
forward with going through the storm. Complete landing. Seeing as they probably have nothing to lose.
Right. So we're going through. I'm like bouncing and I'm like, there's no way. And then I'm
thinking, everyone has a life jacket under their seat. Give me a goddamn parachute.
I don't, if I land in the water, I can swim.
Yeah.
I can tread water for enough time until I need to.
Why wouldn't they have parachutes on planes?
It's so confusing.
You're giving me a life jacket for something that might happen.
But a bigger probability to me, we lose a wing.
Yeah.
What is that just screws holding those wings against the fuselage?
Yeah.
I've seen plenty of shelves fall off a wall in my day.
Those are screws.
There's no reason, like if God forbid there's,
an incident in the air where the plane is going to fall out of the air.
Why not have a parachute to save your life?
Pop pop off like the back, like have an emergency release for the back of the plane and everyone runs and jumps.
Are you too high up to live via parachuting that high?
Well, you can't just pop your parachute out immediately.
You got to wait until you're closer to the ground.
I know.
I'm sure it would be absolute chaos in the air.
Angry Birds style.
Oh my God.
I'm sure people's parachutes would get tied together.
Is that fine?
No, it's, no, that would be.
catastrophic.
Uh-huh.
Would you skydive?
Fuck no.
Me neither.
No.
No.
Let me finish.
So we go through, sorry, no, I'm on board with the parachute thing.
No, you're good.
Here's the thing.
Give us a chance, a fighting chance.
If the plan's going down, will we just have to text our parents?
Let me try to figure out a parachute.
Like, no, I've never skydived.
No, I'm not trained.
Let me just, let me just see if I can do it.
Because at this point, I'm going down.
down anyways. The only thing I have left to do is shoot off a couple texts. Hey, I'm not going to make it to that three o'clock zoom. Sorry, I think we're going down. Give me a parachute.
Because it's the same outcome if I don't figure out the parachute versus if the plane hits the ground. By the way, someone was telling me on a plane, someone was telling me this weekend when I landed that this move, when you're going down in a plane and you put your head forward, the reason they do that is because you're still going to die.
but then they can
if you sit like this
you're gonna be in the seat
that's assigned to you
when you perish
so they can identify the bodies
if they're like unidentifiable
pretty dark
sorry
but in a parachute
situation you might be landing
anywhere but you'll be okay
if you figure it out
anyways all right
I'll lighten the mood
so we go
we're going down
not like in a fatal sense
but it felt like
like it and the we go start going down and then we start going back up that ain't right but you know
consider the situation it's whatever i see the airport we go past i go okay that is that's not an ideal
situation and then the pilot comes out um this is your uh captain speaking we uh we were going uh
too fast to land back there so we are making a U-turn and we're gonna we're gonna try that one more
time ago. Didn't need to know that. All for second chances. What do you mean you were going
too fast to land? That seems like something you wouldn't go on a bus with someone said oh that red
light just popped up out of nowhere. We were going too fast. We're going to roll through that
and make a U-turn and try it again. It's good that he had noticed. Sorry we barreled through that
red light back there. We were going a little too fast to stop. I think it's great that he knew
he had recognized that mistake
took that learning experience
into account, try it again
and I bet you landed the second time
that is not like the sentiment
anyone else had
right I guess
I think when you're in a situation where your life
is in someone's hands
much like getting your hair cut
and the barber says oops
like there's a couple places
you don't want to hear something like that
honestly your life is in someone else's hands
every second of every day
like theoretically Kenny could just like stab you right now you know and and he might you literally never know
there's no difference between you sitting on this set and you being in a plane that that can't land I could literally decide to I'm having intrusive thoughts this is the definition of intrusive thought no go on no
no um okay so that's all I was going to say and then on
way home. Obviously the wedding was amazing. No no hiccups at all. It's kind of a bummer when like nothing
happens at a wedding. We had nothing bad happen and then it's like okay so what do we talk about it? It was just like a
gorgeous day, amazing wedding, so much fun. I've been to so many weddings recently that I feel like I
could plan a wedding start to finish. I'm okay. Thank you. My appendix is making me not want to eat so you
can have my applesauce. And you can have the calf to you want. You're welcome. But it's great. We dance
the night away. It was really fun. And then it was just mellow. That being said, it was so mellow that, like,
it got home. And I was like, oh, nice. It was great. We had a fun time. Everyone drank and drank,
drunk and be merry. What's it called? Drink and be merry. And then I got home and I, like, go up to go to
bed and I'm all tucked in and brush my teeth floss. And then I'm like, oh, I forgot my phone
charged downstairs. Can't make that. I'm a shaking because I was leaving the next day. So I go to walk down
the stairs, miss a step. And I tumbled down a full,
flight of Saris.
That's a good
ick.
Girls, if you're
liking a guy too much right now,
go ahead and think of them in the situation that Connor
just described.
And you'll be cured.
No, and it was
so bad because, no, that's what I looked like.
I'm not kidding.
So I didn't want to turn on any lights because I was
saying my friend's house and they were all asleep.
And I'm like, I'm just going to sneak
down. I kind of know their house.
There's pitch black.
and yeah so I I miss this step and I fall and I I hit and then I roll forward and then I my legs fall over top of me
I fell down the entire flight of stairs and then I was just sitting there like if you ever stub your toe
or anything when you're by yourself it's like what the it's so it's almost worse than if someone
saw it's like what's the point of me hurting myself right now you can't even say out and then I was
like you know you say out when you're alone I wanted to scream at the top of my
long since it hurt so bad.
Uh-huh.
And I didn't have any proof the next day, so it was like there was nothing there,
but I'm going to show everybody, if you're watching on video, this bruise on my thigh.
And I wore underwear today, so I could show you.
Okay.
Are you disrobing?
I'm just, yeah.
I'm taking my pants up.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
No problem.
Yeah, I know.
Wait, I'll show you first.
Oh, my gosh.
Connor.
That's the worst.
Does it still hurt?
Did you see it?
Yeah?
Yeah.
That hurts. I'm sorry.
No, it's okay. And what's funny about that is I have that same bruise on my ass because I hit every angle of myself going down.
So it's that bruise all the way to my ass and then down here and on my ankle, too.
Oh my God. Do you want to come to the butt ward of urgent care with me after this?
You're going to have to get the iron lung on your ass.
Like that mom and robots.
I told you about the iron lung, right?
Yeah, we talked, we had a segment on it last week.
Okay.
Was that in the bonus or?
I think it was.
Yeah, because we watch stuff.
Well, if I could just tell everybody in the main to go watch the movie,
breathe about the polio epidemic in the 1950s,
featuring the iron lungs as well as respirators,
you guys will not be disappointed.
It is the most uplifting and tragic story.
Continue.
Okay, I'll just roll through this all the way.
So, whatever.
I get on my flight on the way home.
I missed my connection because my flight was delayed out of Dallas.
I had to stay in Denver.
And then the next flight getting home was overlapping with a call that I had.
And so I had to wait three hours to take that call at the Denver airport before I could go on to the next flight.
Because it just didn't work.
Like I wouldn't land in time to take the call if I took the later flight.
Oh, so you didn't want to, you wouldn't reschedule a call?
No, because it had been scheduled so far in advance.
It was an important one.
So I was like, I'll tell you offline.
So anyways, I take the call and then the next flight was in 45 minutes after the call.
Canceled.
Just straight up.
Just canceled.
No explanation.
Great.
Next flight is at 7.45 p.m.
So I had like a 20-hour travel day for a two and a half hour flight.
And then I get on this flight, it is perfectly coincided with the LAX Nuggets game or the LACS Nuggets game.
The Lakers Nuggets game.
What's a Nugget game?
It's like when, um,
I don't even have anything to say.
I literally, like, have no idea what you could...
Basketball.
Oh, it's a team?
Yeah.
Who the hell are the Nuggets?
I love that they're called the Nuggets.
Yeah.
What state are they from?
Denver.
Oh, my God.
Imagine me on a flight from Denver to L.A.
During this game.
Anyways.
Do they mean Nuggets as in, like, chicken nuggets?
No.
Nuggets, I think.
Did you ever have those toys go-goes when you were a kid?
No.
They were like these little, just like pieces of plastic that were also like somehow like
monsters and creatures and you would set them up in some sort of formation and the person
that you were playing across from what set their go-go's up in a formation and you would
flick them at each other and try to knock each other.
Go-goes down.
They were like green beans.
Those go-go's.
And there was a golden bone of a go-go.
And I think there were only like 10 golden go-go.
ever.
And this one guy in my school
got the golden bone
and it was like the most insane thing
that's ever happened
in the history of Pennsylvania.
That's crazy.
Including Gettysburg,
the Battle of Gettysburg.
Can you look up the golden go-go
bone?
This thing is gorgeous.
I bet you could buy it on eBay for thousands.
Did I make it up?
Oh my God.
I get it.
Crazy bones.
Yeah.
I can picture it.
You can picture it.
When you were describing it, I could see it.
I wish that it was socially acceptable for me to collect something like that nowadays.
A lot of people are doing Legos.
That doesn't, I don't feel like I want to collect Legos.
I used to collect pencils when I was a kid.
I think you told us that.
Oh, and pillows.
Speaking of the devil, my mom texted me and was like to me a picture of my old pillowcase
and it was all frogs and jungle.
I was like, oh.
And then my brain goes, you just getting rid of stuff that holds a lot?
of memories again.
And she goes, yeah, I'm in the upstairs linen closet, cleaning it out.
And I go, hey, like, really not a room that you spend a ton of time in so you don't need
to clean it out now.
Have her send you that.
That would be such a-
I don't have room for it.
I'm just like-
Wear it, use it as your pillowcase.
Nah.
Are you serious?
Yeah, it's pretty, it's got a lot going on.
That's so fun.
Repurpose it.
I'm going to take a sewing class.
You want to repurpose it for you?
Maybe.
I think she did already get rid of it.
It's funny because when I die, I'll have no memory of my life on this earth because my mom has thrown everything away.
You know what, Connor?
You know what you could do?
Cut off the top of the pillowcase.
So it's just like a little strip and then make that the strap of a tote bag.
Oh, very cool.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
It's just like the things my brain can do.
It's amazing.
Well, let's see if your brain can do this.
We should talk about something that is pertinent for this week.
pertinent meaning whatever it means.
Like trends.
I would rather go through our notes app
because that's like a trend.
Okay.
On TikTok.
Where they're like it's,
I don't exactly remember the premise of the trend,
but it's basically just like going through the notes
on your phone.
Period.
Perfect.
I think I do that every single day.
Yeah, but like old ones
that you like don't exactly know what they mean.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Do you want me to start?
Yeah, why don't you start?
Okay. No problem.
I did already.
post some of these. So sorry if you have seen them. Oh my God. I can't share this one. But Britney,
as in Britney Brosky, she came on our pod a long time ago and she confided in us bravely
that she had written a fan fiction in the past about Cole Spouse, specifically Cole Spouse
coming home from war and suffering with PTSD as she is there to comfort him. And she found it.
the other day and I got to read it.
So this note is just the quotes
that really profoundly moved me
from her fan fiction.
We have to cut this out? No, I'm just not going to read the
specific quotes, but I feel
like the luckiest woman in the world for getting to read
that fan fiction. She is a brilliant
mind. There is nothing that woman can't do. I'm
obsessed with Britney Brozky. She's
my favorite author. She should
write a book. She should
expand on the fan fiction. I'm not joking. I wasn't
reading it being like, ha ha ha, oh, Britney. I
was like, I need more.
I need to know how Cole gets through this.
Well, luckily, you know the author.
I know.
I've asked her for a second chapter.
And she's considering.
Okay, I have one.
Okay.
Cigarette edibles.
Ooh.
I don't know.
That's the whole note.
Like a nicotine edible?
Marlboro Brownie.
So.
That's good.
This is a note called Moments for a Show.
where I just write things that I think would be funny if I ever write a show one day,
and there's one thing on it.
It says,
Girl can't figure out why she isn't getting any hinge matches,
but her profile is five pictures of her and the same guy,
which I had accidentally done on my hinge profile,
because I was showing my therapist.
And she said, as she had brought to my attention,
that Patrick, my friend Patrick, wasn't all five images.
Mm-hmm.
And so she suggested that I take him out of at least three.
and I did.
Yes.
Your turn.
Maybe this isn't a good segment
because I'm just like looking through my nose.
I'm not,
I can't find anything.
Oh,
I think it's,
well,
I have more.
I'm getting stressed.
Okay.
Places you can bury me
and then just Nordstrom Cafe.
And then a quote,
hey,
things happen.
It was no one's fault,
unquote,
me talking to myself
after almost causing a head,
on collision by going straight in a turning lane.
And then people that should co-host a podcast, Larry David and Trisha Paitis.
Which, by the way, did you see Trisha has a new podcast?
Tricia has a new podcast with Colleen Ballinger.
I don't know who that is.
Miranda Sings.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
So that should be interesting.
Because I didn't, like, also I'd be curious if it's her and Miranda Sings character
or her as Colleen.
I feel like she'd have to do the Miranda Sings character.
I can't believe Trisha has time to do a podcast.
Okay, this note says,
photo in my leather pants with Ross in leather pants
mixed eye period.
I love it.
Fascinating.
This one, Handshake in the Hamptons,
Hampton spelled with an H-I-M-P-T-O-M-S,
Hamptoms.
Hand-chinks in the Hamptoms.
Things could be worse.
You could be at the Verizon store.
That's good.
You're right, this segment.
This is going to be bad.
Thanks, honey.
Did you see this blue couch thing that's going viral?
Kind of.
Like, I don't think I'm fully, like, understanding it.
There was just a couch on the side of the road that's super expensive.
Why is Jeffrey Epstein trending again?
So there was just a couch on the side of the road?
This is my understanding.
I didn't see this TikTok before, but I just, like, saw all these edits of this.
Someone was like, hey, my client left this couch out on the street last night.
has anyone seen it?
It had all these retweets.
And I was like, what?
What is this?
And I was like, ha, ha, ha.
And there's all these edits of the blue couch,
blue couch, blue couch, blue couch.
And these people, I guess, found this blue couch on the side of the road,
cleaned it and then put it in their apartment and it looks sick.
And then the whole internet has had an opinion on this blue couch.
Like, people are trying to say that, like, they left it out on the street.
They were moving and you stole it so that they could get it back.
Because it's like, I guess it's like an 8,800.
dollar couch but now it's one of those things what did you compare it to yesterday it was like everyone
has an opinion on it suddenly that uh tick talk of that uh girl going to surprise her boyfriend and
everyone thought that he was cheating on her based off of the way you reacted it's like why does
everyone pick something so random and like insignificant to care about so deeply like i'm just
like who who gives well everyone's like that's disgusting it's definitely like why would they get
rid of it probably it probably has bedbugs people do this all the time i don't know everyone's
everyone's taking it really personally everyone i know has something in their apartment from the street
um yeah i guess like something soft and it looked like it had um for lack of a better word comstains
all over it i i think that i would be wary i believe in the power of a good scrubbing but one i feel
I feel like they should have called a professional.
That's my only, yeah.
That's my only thing is that.
Do that thing with the machine.
They did, but they did it once.
I feel like you need to be power washed.
I'm fine.
I'm like, but I'm, like, I'm really not.
Like, I'll wear my shoes in my bed.
Like, I don't, I don't give a hoot.
I wouldn't want to bury my face in this couch, though.
And you know what?
The awesome thing is, you don't have to.
And they don't have to bury their face in the couch.
They can just sit their butts on it.
heard the crazy story last night at a party
but buddy of mine found this $8,000 couch
in an abandoned building, took it home,
found out it's haunted,
and the ghost of Victorian child
would rise off of it every night at 3 a.
Stare at him blankly.
He threw the couch on the sidewalk last week.
So people are just like making up lore
about this couch,
which I kind of love,
it's kind of like a beautiful thing
that brings,
it's bringing the whole city together.
Yeah, I wish it was just like something else, though.
It's just like so stupid to me.
I think it's kind of fun
because it's harmless.
The boyfriend, girlfriend,
things sparked so much.
Right.
Things between people and, like, guys are coming in, like, well, if she's not going to drive
and see him every weekend, what do you expect?
He has a man that has needs, like, because he was, like, blatantly, obviously cheating
on her.
I just don't think why people care, I guess.
That was just, like, a weird, I think he's just, like, something fun to do.
Yeah.
I wouldn't put that in my apartment.
I have to say, here's what I would do if I found that couch.
Sell it.
Almost $10,000 couch.
Sell it.
I just like, I just like, don't care.
I am having trouble understanding where so many people do.
You know?
Like, it's just,
there's nothing else.
There's nothing else going on.
I feel like there is if you look a little bit,
a little bit hard.
Like, watch a show.
Like, literally do anything.
I know.
When stuff like this goes viral, I'm like,
aren't we in at least one war?
Like, do, like, I know I focus on a lot of stuff that's stupid,
but like this to me, I'm just like, come on.
I care more about this than, like,
Kylie Jenner and Timothy Schenner.
Chalemay.
I'm just like,
like, I just feel like,
I'd rather,
I'd rather read an article
about this blue couch
and, and the ends and outs of
the fabric and the stitching
than,
and the cleaning process,
then,
um,
I can't think of anything else.
See, now I'm,
I guess I'm pro blue chair.
Yeah, I'm anti.
I just like,
I don't get it.
Um,
at all.
Well,
I would love to find something like that on the street.
We have,
we're really just,
not in it today. I'm not being so dumb today like I have nothing nothing to offer no you're good oh wait
you had a good story we should we should talk about the Warriors snap Instagram story thing that they were
logged into their and that Wizards oh yeah okay take it away okay did you see someone I guess the
social media in turn on the Wizards basketball team social media like didn't log out of their
Snapchat and posted a Snapchat of I guess one of her friends it was like I was trying to figure
out why it smelled so bad.
Jesse's out here just doing the stanky leg in public.
So whoever the intern is is filming her friends drinking high noons and hitting a stanky leg.
Something I've done.
Posted on the Warriors public Snapchat story.
It could have been so much worse.
Could you imagine?
Well, I've done two things that are really bad.
One is that I was taking a picture of my tan lines.
and I like fully like boobs out and to send to my friends like not in like a sexual way just like
in a normalized body's way yeah and I had put it on my story and I like knew that it was
uploading to my story right away and I caught it right away but my mom my grandma has I don't
know how she even figured out how to do this alerts on for when I post a Snapchat story so she
was able to see that, which is like fine because like she's my grandma. So that's like I don't
mind her seeing my boobs. But like it's just the fact that like she like got that notification
immediately. But she was the only one to see it. Wow. The second thing, which is not Snapchat related
is really awful. Um, the, the, the boy that I had had had a crush on in high school. Okay. The boy that
I had had a crush on in high school posted. And at this point, I was a senior in college. And so was he.
posted his like senior thesis, I think on Twitter or something or Facebook, like a Google Doc to it.
And I had opened it just to see what he was working on.
And I left it open.
And you could see on Google Docs, like who was viewing the Doc?
So he texted me after I had not heard from him in four years.
Hey, what are you doing still on my senior thesis doc?
Because I had left that tab open.
Oh.
and I had
did not
I did not respond
and I had X out of the
thesis app
out of the thesis
that sucks
that sucks
that wasn't even funny
have you sent any text
the funniest thing to me
first of all the funniest thing to me
ever is when people's Instagram
gets hacked and they're suddenly
offering me a range rover
or something like crypto
and they're like you need to get in touch
I'm having the best success story ever
or buy one get one ray bands
I think that's the funniest thing in the world.
God forbid if it happened to me,
you would never see me again.
I would off myself.
I'd be dead by morning.
Yeah, I would delete every sort of account that I've ever happened.
But when I see it to happen to someone,
I'm on my knees crying, laughing.
The second funniest thing is when people send,
this happened to me a couple.
People have done this to me
where you send someone's Instagram story to the person,
but even send it to your friends.
Because now when you send it into...
Oh, that is the worst.
When you send a post...
or an Instagram story, the first person to pop up at the top is respond to this person?
It's like, no, if I was responding, I would swipe up and respond.
They need to remove that feature.
If I'm forwarding this, I'm forwarding it.
So I can't talk about it.
But there's so many people will send and be like, what the fuck?
Like people have done it to me and I get it.
And it's like, this is so fucking dumb.
And I get the thing.
And I'm like, all right.
Don't have to, like, you don't have to.
And they're like, oh, no, no, no.
I meant to say, I'm like, you're good.
You're fucked.
Good.
Well, sometimes I'll just send, I've done it before where I've sent somebody's story, but with no text.
Yeah.
Like, I've just sent the story, like making fun of them.
But luckily, I didn't write anything so they didn't know I was making fun of them.
So I said, love this, by the way.
That's good.
Yeah.
Have you ever sent a screenshot of your text to the person that you were screenshotting?
Yes.
Yeah.
And I said, I just want to make sure I'm understanding this correctly.
I said, hey, my messages aren't going through.
This is the last one I have.
from you is this all that oh both of those are good yeah yeah yeah two options if available to you
if you send a screenshot of an existing conversation to someone else either say i'm sure there's
better options too but i say i i always say hey i don't can't tell my messages are going through they're
going through green is is this all you have as well and then brook says i say i just want to make sure i'm
i'm understanding this right this from my perspective because usually if you're screenshoting something
it's like something controversial-ish that you would want to make sure
that you were understanding correctly because you're about to send it to someone else.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what do we think about this poor intern that's probably turning up to the office?
In my opinion, I'm like, these things, because it's harmless, you lucked out.
Yeah.
I'm sure that the warriors, the wizards, oh, the wizards are being, there are probably trended for a second.
and we probably wouldn't be talking about the Warriors.
Warriors, what is wrong with me?
The Wizards on our podcast if she hadn't had done this.
Huge basketball day.
Huge.
Nuggets, Wizards, Lakers.
Oh my.
Yeah, that's true.
Do you love basketball?
Mm-hmm.
Are you basketball, Chica?
Mm-hmm.
Have you ever played basketball?
Yes.
I told you I was in the student teacher basketball game.
I don't think you have.
Yeah, I have.
My school did a basketball game with some,
select teachers, one teacher from every department, and one student, one boy and one girl from every
grade. And I was on the, I made the team. I think they just wanted to see what would happen.
How to go? And randomly, I had been benched all of it. Oh, that sucks. Like, don't put me on the team
if you're going to bench me. Let me show you what I've got. Put me in coach. But I did once win,
did you ever play knockout in school? Yeah. I won a game of gradewide knockout.
because I had gotten permission to do granny shots.
Yeah.
You know?
That's not illegal.
Which is, by the way, not cheating.
No.
No.
That's totally fine.
Yeah, I completely agree.
That's just house rules.
Uh-huh.
It's like, are you going to be cool with this because it's not illegal in actual basketball?
Right.
LeBron James could granny shoot if you felt up to it.
Uh-huh.
Speaking of, maybe they would have, maybe the Lakers would have won last night if he had a couple of granny shots in there.
Speaking of Wizards.
Yeah.
Do you know, do you know, do you know,
about the musical wicked?
I do, I know of it, yeah.
Do you know what it's about?
A witch.
Do you know who?
Wait, a lion.
I've been thinking how insane this plot is.
A lion, a witch, and a wardrobe.
It's, it's Wizard of Oz.
It's the story of Wizard of Oz, basically,
but told through the wicked witches perspective.
So it's her origin story.
Yeah.
Like, in her schooling days,
through the events of Wizard of Oz.
And get this.
It's the craziest part to me.
There's an incredible love story.
story and wicked between Alphabet who's the wicked witch and Fiero and turns out in trying to
protect her Fierro gets kidnapped and she does a spell to try to keep him safe but he ends up turning
into a scarecrow and that's the origin of him the scarecrow it's her it's her love it's her love
interest how nuts is that that's brilliant what sucks though isn't the scarecrow against
that's what they want you to think
Connor but he was a double agent the whole time
he was like friends with Dorothy this whole time
and then once Dorothy made
Alphabet melt
he had actually accessed
some sort of trapdoor I'm a little fuzzy on the details
but that was actually how he allowed her
he got her to escape
Oz because she was being vilified
for being wicked
but she actually wasn't wicked
she's a great girl and he had somehow
been involved in this trapdoor scheme
while Dorothy was melting her.
Double agent.
Maybe I'll look into watching it because I'm lost a little bit.
You can't watch it because it's on Broadway.
Unless you want to go there.
No, I could just watch the movie Wicked probably.
It's not out.
I bet I could find it online, a play of Wicked.
Oh, you mean like a bootleg?
Sure.
Of the show.
Yeah.
I thought you were talking about the Ariana Grande movie that's not out.
Oh, I didn't know there was a movie.
Yeah, with Ariana Grande as Glinda coming out next year, or two years.
Oh, fascinating.
Yeah.
Isn't that crazy?
Speaking of movies.
Can fisting festival is happening?
Oh my God, no way.
Can film festival is happening.
And everyone's there except us.
I don't think everyone's there.
Yeah, everyone's there.
I think the people that you're seeing that are there are sure they might be influencers,
but they're there because of other reasons.
They're not there for their influencing abilities.
They're there because they have other sort of connections.
I think they're being,
I think it's obviously it's people that need to be there.
I'm being annoying, but...
We're not going to Cannes, ever.
Brooke, not in this space.
You don't say that because I want to go.
How do I get to be a waiter at the Oscars?
I want to go get an Airbnb nearby,
like book it in advance and then go and have everyone
think I'm going to things and not posting because I'm not allowed to.
I just want to get into the venue.
I'll be a waiter.
I'll be an usher.
I'll be whatever.
Izzy was saying that this guy couldn't get tickets to Taylor Swift,
so he applied to be a security guard and he got it.
Where can I apply to be a security guard?
I want to be a security guard at the Oscars.
Online, you totally can.
Oh my God, I would let so much crime.
Here's a video of him.
Something happens viral at every one of her shows, doesn't it?
It's bound to happen when there's a million people in a room.
That's true.
If there's a million people in a room.
I thought, I didn't realize that he, like, was a, like,
that's why he applied to be a social.
security guard. I thought he just happened to be a security guard who was a fan. I didn't realize that
he applied to be a security guard. How weird would it be to be like facing she's right behind him.
Yeah. And he's facing a group of girls. Oh, I'd be turning around. Oh, no, but this is someone who's good at
their job. Yeah, he's passionate. Much like a waiter holding five plates of sizzling, but he does. He's going to do
everything. He's going to do everything he kind of keep Taylor safe as a fan. That's true. Like, that's what I'm
saying I'm going to do everything in my power to keep everybody at the Oscars safe because chances
are in love with half of them. One of my friends waited outside of Daisy Lady's crazy lady studios or whatever
she's recording her and saw her waited for two hours outside and was like the first one in row and she walked out.
Wow. She walked out alone. Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone. That is the most wild episode of SpongeBob I've ever seen in my life.
It is so introspective and so vastly mind-blowing that, like, it's hard to comprehend.
If anyone knows what we're talking about.
That's an episode that makes you feel something.
Oh, that's when they travel to the caveman era, to the future, future.
And when Squidward gets stuck in the freezer, like, that's the most claustrophobic I've ever felt while watching something.
But it's funny because you see him, he goes, I want to, oh, sorry.
This episode's all over the place.
I think it's because I had a weird amount of coffee today.
Okay.
Not too much, not too little.
I think it's because I had the right amount of coffee.
Do you ever read, sorry, I just remembered.
Do you ever read those people online, like on Reddit, those people that have so much time
and they do like a deep dive about the deeper meanings behind characters on cartoon shows?
Yes.
Like about how on Rugrats, like everybody's dead and Chuckie's the only one that's actually alive.
They say that about Phoebe from Friends, too, that everything's a hallucin.
In her brain.
Those are fascinating for me.
But how much time could you have?
That's why I like taking things at face value.
Why think?
Connor, you are describing a song from Wicked to A.T.
Dancing through life.
That's what Fierro says.
Why put effort into anything when you can simply just dance through life?
Brooke, I've had an issue with this quote for my entire life called Question Everything.
I think it's Walt Walter something Emerson.
Oh, I thought you're going to say,
Walter White from Breaking Bad.
No, it's Emerson, Walter.
Yeah, question nothing.
What is it, Walf Rado Everson?
Waldo Everson.
Walth Roldo Everson?
What are you saying?
Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I'm confused now.
I am as well.
Ralph, Emerson.
Yeah, Emerson.
He lived in Massachusetts.
That's awesome.
To be from the East Coast.
He said, question everything.
I say, fuck you.
How do you have that much time?
Eat the hot dog.
You want to know what's in a hot dog?
No. So would you take question nothing?
No, I'd say question things when you have time and you feel up to it.
Question everything, learn something, answer nothing. That's from Europides, by the way.
Euripides?
Euripides.
Why does everyone know how to pronounce all these Greek?
Because I went to school.
Well, you didn't correct me when I said it was Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Yes, I did. I just told you was Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Okay, whatever. Your Repetys.
No, Thoreau lived in Massachusetts. Sorry.
Henry David.
never claimed to be a literary podcast. I would be fine being a literary podcast. So would I.
Clearly you wouldn't. You called someone esophagus the other week. And that's fine. Did you hear that
Montana banned TikTok completely? Let me walk you to do this because I know it's confusing. This is a
headline I'm actually like, what if I told you I actually understand it in full? You asked me the
other day to explain it to you in full. Okay, but what if I had told you that I fully understand
it? Now you do? Mm-hmm. Okay.
Because I sent you three paragraphs explanation.
Yeah, I get it.
Okay, I'll go through it really fast.
So if you don't understand what's happening, Montana banned TikTok fully because of the Chinese spies.
I want to tell Montana, it's China.
If they want your data, they're going to get it.
So go ahead and ban them.
Now they're aware of your presence.
And before that, oh, actually Montana had the Chinese spy blew over it as well.
Oh my God, that's fishy.
That's where they shot it down.
That's fishy.
What if the Chinese just invade Montana?
I wonder if it's like truly because Hank Green lives there.
He knows too much.
He might know too much about TikTok.
That would be funny if China and it was just like, hey, you guys are all good.
We're just going to, we're heading to Montana.
We heard the skiing's great.
Yeah.
We want to take a visit to Jeffrey Starr's Yak Ranch.
That's Wyoming.
Oh, same thing.
So Montana banned TikTok.
and the way that they did that for anyone confused is,
like if you already have TikTok,
like if you have Flappy Bird,
it's not going,
it's not going to get deleted off your phone.
They're not going to check, but.
What's Floppy Bird?
Okay, hold that.
Angry Birds?
Hold that thought.
Hold that thought.
Hold that thought.
Hold that one of your, hold that dot.
That's a full different conversation.
And I'm going to forget,
because that's a hilarious that you said,
what's Flabby Bird.
Were you not on your phone back now?
Wait, hold on.
I think I know what Flappy Bird.
Okay.
So if you already, there it is.
I know Flaping.
Sorry, sorry.
I thought he was called Happy Bird.
Happy Bird.
Oh.
I know Flappy Bird.
Okay.
So if you already have it on your phone, you're going to be fine.
You're not going to come.
Why did they get rid of Flappy Bird?
Please, let me do the TikTok thing.
You brought up Flappy Bird.
It was an example.
So if you already have it on your phone, it's going to be fine.
But TikTok has like an app updates every single day.
So eventually that app's just going to break on your operating system.
Yeah.
And then they're finding Apple and Google Play stores $10,000 a day that it lives in the app store.
So you're not going to be able to even download it.
So you could get a VPN and download it in another.
Could you just drive to the neighboring state?
Like, that's what I'm confused about.
I think you could.
So that's stupid.
I know.
That's insane.
I don't really, I guess I don't get it.
So anyways, Flappy Bird.
I know what Floppy Bird is.
Yeah, but the guy that made Flappy Bird,
I'm making this up, by the way, I think.
But we can confirm it.
The guy that made Flappy Bird, like, killed himself
because of the popularity of his app,
it got to his head.
I don't think he killed himself.
I think he didn't like the breast that it was getting
and just decided to take it off the app.
Oh.
Where did you get kill himself from?
Oh, I thought he gets him.
There's got to be, like, another Flappy Bird by now, though.
Yeah, there's 50.
Yeah.
Also, there's like a, there's like a flappy bird on TikTok, too, a filter.
Yeah, where you move it.
Nobody actually died of the game, Flappy Birds.
It has been revealed that this story is a hoax, even the police board.
Is Temple Run still available for download?
Okay.
Oh, he did kill himself.
Wow, that sucks.
That's a bummer.
Dong Wen killed himself with a gun.
Okay, well, that's why Flapy Bird is.
no longer here or Dong.
That's sad.
That's sad.
We can talk about hangovers or we can talk about the idol.
I think we do the idol.
Because I want to get invited to Cannes next two years.
Okay.
So shitting on one of the movies is going to get us there?
I don't think, I'm not shitting on it.
Is it a show or a movie?
It was hard to tell.
Does anyone know?
I think it's a show too.
I thought it was a show because.
I didn't realize they did shows at Cannes.
By the way, in my head it will always be cons.
It doesn't make sense that it's not massive cans.
Oh my God, the Jugs Festival?
Are you going to Jugs, France?
Are you going to Weekend 1 or Weekend 2 of Jugs?
I'm actually, it's weird because there was no direct flight,
so I'm flying into Ariola, France.
And then I'm making my way through the tubes and out the boobs.
Awesome.
Yeah.
I'll meet you there.
And then I'll be arriving in cans.
Okay.
I'm actually taking high-speed filopian.
Oh.
Are you renting an e-bike?
I'll be on a bird.
through the fallopian into the tubes i'll meet you there cool and then we can head to to jugs together
jugs film festival jff uh um hope everyone's doing well in cans make sure you're hydrating i'm back on
whole milk by the way okay well do you want to talk about the idol which is why we started talking about
can't so we're talking about cans film festival um and the idol which i was i was so excited because i love rachel
senate and then she's just all of a sudden this
A-Less celebrity with the weekend and what's her name, Johnny Depp's daughter?
Lily Rose.
And I'm watching this trailer.
I'm like, damn, this is kind of, this looks good.
And I was really excited.
And then I saw that Sam Levinson is the director.
Oh, that's why this is like, I don't think he does things in like a, in an artistic way.
I really think that it's overtly sexual in a shocking way.
Right.
No, I think he for sure is going for shock factor rather than.
artsy fartsy but also apparently he got like a five minutes standing ovation that I could be making
that number up no you're right five minutes standing ovation and was like sobbing like so profoundly moved
by the five minutes standing ovation but I think every single thing gets a standing ovation and five
minutes is probably like the minimum you know what I'm not standing for five minutes to climb and it has a
seven 17 okay so is this rotten tomatoes first of all I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't
to the notion that rotten tomatoes holds any weight, to be honest, because it's been wrong
for me personally, like several times.
Really wrong.
I feel like it's usually pretty good for me.
Except for that one.
Have you ever seen the movie The Boy?
It's a horror movie about a doll?
No.
I think that is one of the best movies.
And I have not met one other person who thinks it's even remotely entertaining or
watchable. Oh, it is a 31. That's good.
But I think it is so, like,
stand out. Wait, can you type in
like Fool's Gold, something that I really like? I don't like that movie.
Yeah, see, but it's a human experience. Chalk it up.
11.
That makes sense to me. So it's been wrong. I'm not claiming to be
end-all, be-all film critic, by any means. I'm just
saying there's some things that make me feel good. What's a movie that we both like?
Oh, I was just going to ask, can you, what's Tick-Took Boom have?
88, that's pretty good.
Yeah.
That's certified fresh.
Here's one that is just like...
Good?
Easy.
Titanic.
Like that is...
Okay.
That's a film.
That's a good one.
That's a film.
The second one, yeah, yeah.
Came out in 1997.
88, yeah.
How about dirty dancing?
I want to get one in the 90s.
I don't know what a perfect movie is.
Has anything ever gotten?
I think it's the second one.
Oh, there's no.
Damn.
How about...
Wait.
It's like a...
I really want to get one in the 90.
I really want to read this thing
that someone said about the idol.
Pop Crave on Twitter is so unhinged,
which, by the way, I think I'm going to delete my Twitter.
I saw the most gnarly video last night
with no warning on it at all.
Like, fully saw someone die.
Oh, that's awful.
And it was just on my TL.
Your TL is horrifying.
I think you need to engage with like,
like really stupid, like the stuff that I do.
I mean, I don't, I'm blocking right and left.
I'm trigger happy with the block.
Fox. Taylor Swift is loving Ice Spice right now on Pop Crave and I'm just looking for her.
She's doing a remix with Ice Spice for a song.
Okay, wait, something was said last night about the idol.
No, it was something about Lily Rose Depp being nicknamed Comrag on Twitter because of the new movie.
That sucks. That's a shitty nickname to have.
Did you have a nickname in high school?
75 minutes, we got a rap.
My nickname in high school was Cooter.
I thought that was college.
College. Cudor McCoy.
The idol reportedly features a scene depicting Lily Rose Depp's character,
photographed a seaman on her face, leading to be branded as the human cum sock on social media.
That sucks.
That reminds me.
All of my dad's college friends call him juice.
And I have always been asking, like, why are you juice since I was little?
And he said he will never tell me.
So I have got to know.
Could it be because he's Jewish?
and then I feel like he would just tell me if that was the case.
Maybe he's messing with you.
I feel like it's something really bad.
Who, that's really scary.
Well, we're going to wrap up and head to the bonus.
Congratulations to Jeff Bezos on his engagement.
I cannot wait for the wedding, Jeff.
That is going to be so much fun, you guys.
Hoping you get a plus one.
Yes.
Yeah.
Or you can apply to be security.
Ooh, that would be a fun thing to be security for.
They better vet everybody.
That's going to be like a fun wedding because Jeff's been going at Coachella and like hanging out with people and like going to dinner with like Kim Kardashian.
Let's cut the last like 45 minutes of this.
Okay, bye, we'll see you guys.
It's going to be really fun.
This week on Close Friends.
Today I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it.
It gave me a short and web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning and giving a thumbs up.
That's really funny.
Considering he was old, it wouldn't be funny.
Reverse ageism.
Reverse ageism.
Did you get it on Amazon?
Oh, that's fun.
Can I do it?
It works anywhere.
Stick it onto the mirror.
Stick it onto a window.
Stick it onto a cabinet.
Stick it onto my ass.
Do you have your wisdom teeth in or out?
I don't think it matters.
My mom still has hers.
But the dentist told me just to get him out for fun.
I lounged for a week.
I punched my mom in the face, but other than that, it went swimmingly.
Yeah.
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