Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - The Santa Truther

Episode Date: December 7, 2023

SUBSCRIBE TO THE NEW BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl  Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OEBbbj This week, Brooke begins her campaign to normalize adults with emotional stuffed animals and Connor exposes all the HR violations in Santa’s workshop. Plus, they break down Time’s Person of the Year and the beauties of a siesta life.  NEW DSDF MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com  Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/  If you listen on Apple Podcasts, go to: https://apple.co/bandc  Go to https://Zocdoc.com/BANDC and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Go to https://StoryWorth.com/bandc and save $10 on your first purchase! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/BANDC and get on your way to being your best self. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/BANDC to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code BANDC. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. 0:00 Holy Fudge 0:35 Intro 1:10 DSDF MERCH!!! 6:21 Clear Your Throat 7:10 Getting Into The Holiday Spirit 9:20 Bring Back Siesta Time 11:00 Brooke's New Family 13:56 ZocDoc 15:50 You Have Nothing To Worry About 18:06 Connor's Xmas Beef 22:22 Santa Is Canceled? 24:55 StoryWorth 27:16 Santa's HR Nightmare 29:27 Normalize Stuffed Animals 33:03 Brooke's Aritizia Encounter 37:28 Connor's Shoeless Landlord 38:19 BetterHelp 39:50 Connor's New Home 45:22 You Know You've Made It 46:33 Connor's SF Weekend 51:26 Brooke Goes To Chainfest 52:58 Squarespace 54:29 Located In Cocktail City 55:41 Brooke's Message To God 57:30 Meeting John Mayer 1:00:00 Sunday Scaries To The Max 1:01:29 Delayed Hyperfixations 1:04:33 Time's Person Of The Year 1:07:16 Trying Eggnog 1:10:56 Cameo's New Star 1:16:28 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Holy shit. Is it so good? You don't have to play it up. No, I'm not playing it up at all. I'm... It does look like cougal. No, there's like 18 different... Wait, what is?

I'm taking another bite. Again, you already said. It's so good. Oh, my God. A spiced white chocolate pumpkin spice starch. And you made this with your own two hands? White? Yes, and a stove. Damn.

Oh, that's really... good. I was really, really good. I'm so happy to hear. Wow, thank you so much. Wow, Alex, thank you. Hey, Brooke. Hi, Connor. Are you ready to MAP? I'm ready to pee. Ignorance is bliss. I'm living in a world of my own and it's awesome.

Oh, I thought I was responsible for 9-11 when I was five. Where were you? In Pennsylvania. Touch grass, might I suggest. We're just going to dive right in today. Connor What's up man

What? What's up? Wake up I'm sorry I'm sorry I was asleep over here Why? I don't know

I just I laid my DSDF merch over my upper body And it just lulled me right off to sleep It was so cozy Kind of like a weighted

blanket effect In a way But it was a little bit More spiritual than that I would say Very cool Yeah How about the mug

Oh my gosh That mug Yeah How about it How about it? What are you got in there? You know. I think you know what's in my mug piece.

Guys, we have... Water. I lied. I don't know why I just like, sorry, there's nothing in the mug. There's nothing in the mug. There's water in it. There's nothing in the mug. But, you guys, we were alarmed. No, wrong word.

Completely shell-shocked. We were completely knocked out of our socks by the response to the merch the DSDF merch got like blown off the shelves why can't I think of one adjective today or a verb blown off the shelves yeah

sounding like hotcakes you guys absolutely blew me out of my socks last week with the response to the merch we sold a ton of our merch and we've decided to add some more just so that if anybody that couldn't get their hands on it there's Wait, did we add some more?

Just a limited amount more. I'm so sorry, Brooke, will you say it? I don't know if I can either. We have a few pieces left of our merch if you want to go ahead and grab them. Go ahead on over to TMG Studios.tv and you'll be able to find it from there. It really is my favorite merch piece we've ever done.

It's so cozy. I think it looks a little bit. It's so cute. And at the end of the day, there's truth to it. Different shows for different folks. Oh, that's a good picture of us. Yeah. Oh wow.

I love that photo. You know we twinned in that photo shoot by accident? On accident. How fun. Ew. Hello. I didn't see it up close. No.

No image ever needs to be. You know what I always say about that photo of my neck and where my neck meets my chin that I couldn't see from over here? Good from far, far from good. So that like when you get, you know when you see someone that's a track? active from far away and you get and you go I'm gonna I'm gonna act like I need to go over in that direction for some reason then you get over and you're like waste of steps beauty's on the inside no it's what's on the outside that counts I've always said that but that's why you should get our merch because you can wear it

on the outside of your body and that's what counts unless you want to eat it I'm sure it tastes good okay then it would be what's on the inside um it's available right now to you at this time thank you guys also thank you guys so much for buying the merch yes thank you so much can't wait to see maybe some pictures of you in it. Yeah. There are so many things that you can do in the merch that I've illustrated already. For example, resting and sleeping. I'd love to see you in your best resting pose in your merch.

Yay! It's a good gift, too. If you already got one, you're like, what do I get my papa or my me ma'amaw? Yeah. DSDF merch. Yeah. Because that's the thing about DSDF. There's a stroke for everybody.

And it's this sweatshirt. your neck or mug yeah or mug yeah love a good mug me too because you know what one thing about a mug is if you have a cool mug you can like low key flex behind the mug that's the thing about liquids is like you get a you get a you get a drink or something at a bar but you're like oh they're at the beach you know but like you're just kind of flexing your mug or like oh they're like they have a really busy google calendar today like wow they're busy i'm not understanding anything that you're saying if you wake up in the morning and you go to like take a picture of your morning coffee yeah a lot of times people put like, oh, it's 604 a.m.

Like, they just wanted to post that they're awake. Oh, but they're using the mug as a guy. Yeah. You do that. I do that every day. Anytime I wake up early. Yeah. People will know.

And on the beach as well. I'm not going to tell anybody, but there will be signs. Oh my God. That takes the phrase mugshot. Oh. To a whole new level. Brooke, good thinking. Yeah.

And you said you weren't on your feet. You said you weren't on your toes today. That was good though But I was saying like also There's this thing This toxic thing that happens in corporate America Where like everyone tries to be busier than each other And I had a job where everyone had to like

It was like you had to share your calendar Like you had to make your calendar public your G-Cal So everyone's calendars were like heads down time And it was like three hours And I was like what are you doing your heads down? And I was like I just had to fill up that time So no one like tries to have a meeting with me They're not doing anything

but I was saying that's a good easy flex to your your co-workers and your peers to be like I'm busy today okay my calendar's in bad okay mugshot mugshot vibes yeah totally all right that's a wrap on the merch conversation yeah okay um hey guys welcome back to brook and Connor make a podcast um we're something is trying to make its way out of my body via my my trachea or whatever this part of up? Tell me if you're gonna. No, it's not throw up. What is it then? It's a bubble of shorts, but I didn't. What did you say when you had the frog in your throat? Why is that on a zel? Oh, I hope we have a repeat, but that's not something you can recreate. I feel like that'll happen today. I feel like that'll happen today.

I was with my parents over Thanksgiving, obviously, and they kept me like clear your throat when you're talking. I was like, I didn't even know there was something to be cleared out of my throat. Right. Well, yeah. How are you? Good. I'm in the holiday spirit as hell. So I like have been jolly. I don't know if it's just like there's stuff there's stuff happening right now. There's that like end of Q4 rush that everyone, it's kind of like everyone's running around but no one's actually doing anything. My least favorite cue.

I love Q4. I don't I don't fuck with Q4. Why? It's the end. It's the end of it. Because this week of like, or these few weeks. From Thanksgiving to Christmas, there is never a point. Just keep Thanksgiving going or start Christmas early. Oh, facts. It's just like a waste of space.

My also favorite thing about Thanksgiving is like right before Thanksgiving is like, oh crap. Like we need to force in a bunch of stuff before Thanksgiving before everyone goes on break. And then after it's like, well, we miss a bunch of stuff while everyone was on break during Thanksgiving. So we're forcing a bunch. And then like by next week it'll be like, we need to get a bunch of stuff in before holidays. It's just like it's a shit show every year. and it's like we'll never learn that this is just a chunk of time

we should remove from the calendar. I agree. Oh my God, facts. Yeah, maybe we have the same stroke although we're different folks today. Yeah, very cool. I love when that happens. Yeah, I mean, I liked it always in college

and, well, college I guess was finals, but at jobs it was like, everyone's like, yeah, we're going to be really busy in December. And it's like, no, we're not. And I'm leaving on the 15th, and you won't see me until January. It's senioritis. But for, for,

adults. I know. But like knowing that, why do we put on airs for each other? That's the way the world works, unfortunately. It's all, it's all an air. Everything's an air. Brooke, it's all an air. There's nothing that's not an air. Sorry, sorry. If we stopped living in air, everyone would be so much happier. What can we compare that to in the animal kingdom? What? A summer's day. But like, you know, where everyone's like, busy, pretending to be busy. What do you mean compared to in the animal kingdom? I don't know.

I feel like there has to be some comparison in terms of nature. No, I think that's the problem. It's not natural. Yeah. Ooh. I want to know, do other countries do that? Not as much.

Yeah, because they get like months off. I remember when I went to Bali with my friends and we ran into all these Australians and Canadians and they were like, where are you going after this? And I was like, we're here for 10 days. We have to go home. And they're like, 10 days?

and then you're going home. I was like, what are you doing? They're like, well, we have a month and a half. So we're going to try to figure out where we should go after this. And I was like, what about your jobs? They're like, we got a month and a half off. No, it's crazy when you travel to other countries. Like work is just like a part of people's lives.

It's not their life. It's just like something you do to make money so that you can live your life. Work to live versus live to work. Which is awesome. Facts. It's so nice and they're so much happier. I like the Spanish countries that have siesta hour. Except I would be so stressed out trying to fall asleep for my nap during siesta hour that it would be the end of my nap and I would fall asleep in like the last.

Connor that would always happen to my preschoolers. They would stress themselves out so much at that they would work themselves up about them not wanting to go to sleep that they would get so tired. They'd fall asleep at the last second of siesta. And then I'd have to wake them up and their parents actually would have to come down and get them because they weren't able to walk up the stairs due to extreme exhaustion. No, I would genuinely be, this would be me the last like 14 minutes of siesta hour. Yeah. Is it over? Like, I'm thinking my alarms going off? It's not, like, kids don't know how good they have it. No.

Adults don't know how good they have it, though. That, I've been thinking about that too. Yeah, I've been thinking about that too. Great. But it's kind of like a long spiel that I actually don't even need to get into. Okay. Do you want me to? Um, yeah, sure.

It's actually not. It's just like I've been kind of doing some self-reflection. Okay, that's good. I have been so anxious. just recently, which is why I had to bring my family today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Frank, my ESC is here. My Emotional Support Chicken is here as well with Kiki.

He was a new addition to the family. This is actually Frank's son. Can I see Frank? Yeah, this is Kiki. I'm sorry. K-I-K-I-K-I. Kiki Palmer. Yeah.

She's cute. He, yeah. He is cute. Frank's son. Yeah, he's darling. Are all of your plushes, men? They are all young. young men.

Why do you think that that is? I don't know. I just don't have any daughters. I guess because Frankie's my daughter. That these, maybe they like balance out her feminine energy. I'm letting you know now that because you brought up the, the,

Max is my son conversation that for the rest of my online life, every picture I put up of Max is going to be flooded with those messages. Okay, well mine's always going to be flooded with Frankie having nerve pain. So join the club. Get Kiki. out of my sight. No. I'm just kidding. Do you know this is like a there's these crochet kits called wubles and so Kiki's a wubel and there's so many different options for what you can make. Did

you see there's a Dobby one? Yeah. Featuring there's Dobby featuring sock and Dobby without sock. What's the price difference in the sock versus no sock? Oh good question. Maybe $5 if I had to guess. I had to spit it out spitball it. That's like a lot for a sock. It's like what a normal pair of socks. How fun are those? That is for a sock. That is for a little. That is for you. I was fun. Doesn't Kiki kind of look like a lemon though? Some chika on Etsy is going ape shit right now like making

these for people and reselling them on Etsy in time for the holidays. Kiki doesn't look like her predecessors. She looks like a lemon. Oh, like the colors are different. I think the colors. No, not at all. That's not what I said. It's the shape of her body. Whatever, man. I'm addicted to Kiki.

That'd be a good gift to give. Oh, Google? Yeah. That's kind of like in the same realm as Legos, by the way. What was I talking about? Oh, you've been having horrible anxiety. Horrible, horrible, like worse than 9-11, truly, like really bad. But I forget what, no, like my anxiety, not worse than 9-11 in the event. Oh my God, no, that's horrible. Cut that. I don't want anyone to think that. Oh, my God, I didn't mean that at all. Just when I started to get anxiety was at the time of 9-11 because I thought I was responsible for it. if you didn't know that already, I'm not saying my anxiety is worse than 9-11. That would be horrible.

But I'm just saying my anxiety now is like similar to how bad it was when I was little. And this is why I got onto that topic. What were you saying earlier? I don't remember Connor. There's like an existential. Yeah, it was an existential. Anyway, I look back at that time in my life. I forget what made me think of this, but I look back on that time of my life and I'm like, oh my God, like she had nothing to worry about. It makes me so sad. Yeah, that's what I was saying. Yeah, it makes me so sad that, like, I was so driving myself crazy for no reason. And I wish I could just go back and be like, you have nothing to worry about lean.

Yeah. But now I'm thinking, like, oh, my God, the 50-year-old version of me is thinking the same damn thing about 27-year-old me needing to sit here with all my family of stuffed animals. But I still can't stop. That's why I love self-help books are so good because every time you read one, now they all say the same thing. but each time you read a new self-help book, it's like, oh yeah, I forgot that. And I learned that the last time I read a self-help book. Don't sweat the small stuff.

I keep having dreams in the same realm where I'm not even dreams. I wake up in the middle of the night being like, holy shit, what if the moon fell on to us? And that's like such a stupid thing, but that stuff, that is the thing that I wake up thinking. I'm not like, oh, like, I really should, you know,

like pay my parking tickets it's like what if the moon falls on us right i think it's easier to worry about things that are out of your control than things that are in your control or it's just like you're that's what your mind prefers to do i do apologize to someone the other day because it was like i i'm sorry that you keep having to hound me over the simple tasks even though i complete the hard task like in like that but the simple tasks i'm like you have to give me one week yeah texting texting is my tough my my my battle right now. How sad is that? No, that's, you're okay. It's normal. You're normal. Thank you God. Yeah. I didn't know, I didn't think of normal when I woke up this morning. No. I just told you I'm scared the moon is going to fall on us and then you said that I'm normal.

and that makes me feel better. Oh my God, I'm so glad. Sometimes it's all about just knowing you're not alone. Yeah. John Green just made the video that made me cry about that. I love that man. That's not Hank Green though. We don't have to get into all the Green family tree. I was listening to holiday music. I was saying I'm really in the spirit this year. And not in the spirit the same way that I said I was in Halloween spirit because that was an air. I was blatantly lying when I said that and I caught myself.

I'm not going to be able to live up to that. The Christmas spirit, however, I'm in. Really? Yeah, this year. I can't get into it. I'm listening to Country. The Country Station here plays Christmas music nonstop. They actually have to apologize to their listener.

base because they go, hey, we know, like, a lot of you are country fans on the country station, but, like, we're going to be playing Christmas music for the next. Country Christmas or just Christmas? It's like Kelly Clarkson. Okay. But, like, a lot of country singers do. Like, they play the Taylor Swift Christmas tree thing. What is it?

Taylor Swift's. Isn't it called Christmas trees? Christmas tree farm? Christmas tree farm. Forget how it goes. Oh. That plays a lot. But I was listening to, like, all these songs.

Isn't it weird that like Christmas is like the least relatable thing on the planet and it's like the biggest thing Like let it snow Just in terms of like immaculate conception Well no I'm talking about mostly the songs Like most Christmas songs are like The lights are up in the city That's what it's like How can I

In the on the east coast and the northeast It's so Christmas I know but Most people don't live on the east coast But I think Well I guess it's like where it's cold in general I think most people live where it gets cold during Christmas. Cold is one thing.

Yeah, I think when it's cold, it feels really seasonal. I think lights being up in the city and the jingle bells and stuff of like a horse-drawn carriage. Like, I couldn't relate to that. And yet I sing along. Oh, I feel, I feel good about that. Yeah. I feel like I can relate to. Well, you're from Philly, Philadelphia.

Yeah. Just like a major city. Yeah. I'm in the suburbs. I'm from like where there's cows. So. Right. That was hard to relate to.

Really? When I think of Texas, I think Christmas. What? Why? Like cowboys celebrating Christmas together as a family. The one big cowboy family? Yeah, one big happy cowboy family. Having Christmas supper. No brainer to me. This episode is brought to you by Prime.

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Yes, broke back mountain. Oh, the Christmas classic movie. Yeah. Broke back mountains. Yeah. Me and my family watch that every Christmas. That's, that's, you know, it's funny. That's actually like a biblically accurate nativity.

No, I need to not have that conversation. I was trying to make a joke about it. I can't. No, you're good. But that was a thought I had on the way here where it was like, I don't get how we all have agreed that these are the biggest Christmas songs ever. Which ones? I looked them up.

All of them? Well, the ones that play on the radio. Are you upset with all of them? I'm not upset with all of the Christmas songs. I'm upset that like... The specific ones about the lights? They're all about New York. What is upsetting you specifically?

I wasn't upset. I'm not upset. So you can't relate to the lights. I'm saying it's shocking that we all agree. It's hard to get my words out. I'm not making sense. No, sweetheart. It's okay.

You are. I get it. I get it. You can't relate to the life. You can't relate to the life. I'm sorry. It must be hard. Brooke, every day I come on to this podcast and I have to find something to complain about. I'm fine with the songs. I'm in the spirit. I'm jolly. I'm going to get a treat. I'm sweating so bad. Oh my God. What's your favorite song? Good question, Ryan. Thanks for asking the hard-hitting question. My favorite song is that one with a weird voice that pops in.

Hippipotamin. I am dreaming of a white, a white Christmas. But it's by the drifters. Are there a few different versions of that one? There's a hundred versions. I think I don't know that specific one. There's a hundred versions.

You know what would be a real challenge? Write a new Christmas song. Dare you. I actually think that would be the easiest kind of song to write. Oh my God. Did you know? I saw this clip on TikTok of the basement yard. That's what they're called.

I love them so much. Me too. Talking about I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus Had no idea this whole time That Santa Claus is their dad I thought she was cheating as well as they did Is it not open to interpretation

I don't think so I feel like it is also like an adult song No I think it's like I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus but I don't know that it's my dad Because I'm a kid and I don't know that Santa's not real Right I saw mama kissing Santa Claus And she's like

The kid's like oh my God mom is cheating on dad it is dad. That's something we have access to that the narrator doesn't. Just that she believes in Santa. That's classic like, oh my gosh, coming of age situation. Now I understand what Mama Kissing Sany Claus is about.

Yeah. It's kind of like Panty Raid vibes. Like what? Panty Raid vibes. Oh, in what way? Like Santa has broken into their home via chimney feature and is now making out with their mom. Oh, is panty raiding?

Santies, Santy. Sancy Raid. Sancy Raid. Sancy raid. Not the same. Santee raid he came in through the chimney breaking and entering much

it's it's it's how many more years do we have with Santa being dead at before Santa's canceled Santa's out like I'm being serious no I totally think we're headed in that direction everything about him is just like oh typical white man like oh he's he's employing a bunch of like textbook if we're

if we're saying that like being below what like 410 is technically a disability. Right. So all of his employees are disabled. Do you think he's providing them with appropriate insurance? For year round, even though that... Performance reviews? I don't think in the, I don't know in the North Pole, like they probably have,

their society is probably just more accessible for, maybe I should move for them a North Pole. Maybe you should. It's probably built for people of my stature. But you could rest almost year round. Or are you building toys year round? No, you're building toys year round. Hmm. You are on the clock every day.

Christmas is every day. Okay. No, Christmas is what they're working towards their whole year. Exactly, but I'm just saying Christmas is the focal point of every day. I'm trying. What could I compare the two? It's like everyone that works at like golden voice, they produce Coachella every year. It's like they work on Coachella year round, but Coachella only happens that one weekend.

But then as soon as Coachella is over, they start getting music. Yeah, so they're going elf mode. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. toy, I'm sure talk about AI taking people's jobs. Imagine when they start automating toys

in the North Pole, automating machines. What do they do for work at that point? Now, then you start getting... I can't tell if you right now are thinking that elves are real. In my mind, right now when we're chatting about this, because I'm about to move on to reindeer.

The discussion is a moot point. Do you want to move on to reindeer? If you need to. Okay. So now we've got an employee of Santa who's who's Rudolph, who everyone's calling, hey, stinky Rudolph, hey, hey, loser, like, dumbass Rudolph with your nose, you're different than us and you suck because of that. Right. And then, like, something happens and Santa now needs him to step up and now everybody likes him.

They're gaslighting him into thinking he's the man. That's an interesting point as well. Yeah. That's not an HR compliant situation. And then we go, and then we just go to Santa at his bare bones. he's breaking and entering every single time and providing gifts for children so that they like him.

Groomer? Groomer? Is he grooming him? Oh my God. Okay. We're crossing over now. We're doing, we're going there. We're doing grooming. Anyways, guys, enjoy Santa while we have him because I'm sure he'll be replaced by AI in the coming month. Ho, ho, ho. Watch this space.

Also, that's his phrase. Ho, ho, ho. Yeah. I see what you're, saying but I'm just not there in terms of the passion but maybe one day if you can't put it into passion you can't put passion into

your work what do we have? No I agree it's just is that my work to do maybe it's just yours maybe it's my maybe that's your journey I'm not fighting for or against Santa I've moved on personally it doesn't seem like you have I'm a Santa truther okay

take it as you want will. Okay. Totally. Where do we go from here? Speaking of toys, I just wish that it was socially acceptable for adults to hold and carry stuffed animals with them throughout the day as it is with children. Like, I want to be able to walk into a store holding. I feel like you have yours all the time, Brooke. No, only when I'm like doing the pot or resting at home. Like I want to be able to walk into the mall with carrying three stuffed animals. Do you know how hard it is for me to walk past that Squishmelo store and not buy out the place? I want every single one. No, I know I can, but I'm not the one. I don't want to take the lead on the bringing back stuffed animals into

adult culture movement. I want someone else to take the lead. You're lacking the passion that I have for Santa for your stuffed animals. No, I have the passion, but it's like I'm very much, I'm not a follower, I'm not a leader. I'm a co-host. So it's like I need someone else to do it first And then I will be leading the charge with them I will beheading the movement as long as someone else does it first You're beheading the movement Yeah

I think like I want 15,000 squish mellows in my apartment I want to not be able to walk into my apartment because I wanted to just be squished mellows And other various stuff to animals including but not limited to build a bear Wobles etc You could order them online Wobles No squishmelows if you want them I know.

But like that store. Brooke, I implore you to go into the Squishmellow store. You won't, you would never speak to me again if I was walking around with Squishmallows. No, you have to put them in your car.

And then I'll meet you outside, but. Exactly. Like imagine like we have like a nice event. Like I want it to be fine for me to walk in with an emotional security stuffed animal. So a nice event? Yes.

Oh, well that's not. I'm saying I want that to be. Because if a. baby did that. Right. Well, if a baby did a lot of things. I'm not hurting anyone. No.

I can't be, I cannot fight this fight with you. We are fighting completely different fights today. DSDF. Totally. I think saying, well, if a baby did that is a, I just want to, I want to help you out moving forward.

Right. It's dangerous, dangerous road to start going down. Start out the argument with, well, um, a baby. baby can do it so I feel like I should be allowed. I'm trying to think of anything that a baby does that I don't do. You can't...

Soup in your diaper? I don't have a diaper on, but I have... But you could, and we could normalize it. That's like something that I'm cool not normalizing is pooping in my diaper for me. Really? Screaming on a plane. Cool not normalizing that for adults. But I do feel like...

Sure. Crawling on all fours. a target. Cool not normalizing that for adults. Sure. But I'm just saying, okay, at what age would you see someone walking into an establishment carrying a stuffed animal and be like, you're too old to be doing that? 30?

Yeah, I would say probably 30 would be a good cutoff. Okay. You have time. Enjoy it. Yeah. You should take it to the Wanka premiere on Sunday. Oh my God. Should I walk into Wanka with not only Frank but Kiki as well?

Yeah, you should. Okay. I'm sure they'll get to cut the line. Okay. Oh, heaven's to bet me. Seriously. So circling back, I went, I moved into my apartment yesterday and I didn't actually move in.

I didn't think you moved in yesterday. I got it. Yesterday was my first day where I had my keys for my apartment. And I went to pick them up. And I told you guys because I was going to. to meet Brooke and cat for a meal for delicious Tuesday, Tuesday evening meal. The good news is we didn't end up eating because we shop until we dropped. I understand. I can't shop at all until I drop. I try on one pair of pants and I'm I'm a broken man. I got 14,000 steps. That's bonkers. How many stores did you go to?

All of them. I go into one store. If I go into Gap and I try on a pair of pants, I'm I'm itching. I itch my skin itches. I'm like, I'm freaking out. No, I wasn't happy. I wasn't. I wasn't. at all. That's why Zara. I had Kiki in my purse, thankfully. Oh, thank God. You were able to get this. Yeah, so I was kind of,

yeah, I was giving him a squeeze. Um, if I go into a Zara, I'm a ticking time bomb for an anxiety attack. I do think it's store dependent as well. Zara is much more anxiety producing than say anthropology. Anthropology, if they had like an area to get a like a 10 minute massage, I would go there just to do that. Yeah, anthropology is pretty relaxing,

especially because it has that plant store attached to it. What do you girls have? What do you girls have that doesn't have a guy's section that's so pleasant? Eritzia. Eritzia doesn't have a guy's section. But I love sitting in that store. Yeah, they have great couches. I had a weird experience in Eritzia yesterday.

Oh. It's not really a story worth telling them. I guess it was some guy was like, oh my God, hi. He works there. And I was like, hi. And he was like, it's been a few months. And I was just like, yeah. on God, never seen him in my life.

And then another employee came up. Another employee came up was like, oh, you two know each other? And then he was like, yeah. I was like, yeah. Yeah. And then she was like, you're not working today? It was already 5.30.

And I was like, what is happening? What is happening? What is happening? I don't know. He knows me. She's upset. I'm not at work at 530. I guess she also doesn't know

I wouldn't be working at 3.30 or 130 as well in addition but she didn't know that. Yeah, it was interesting. That's it. Uneventful and yet eventful at the same time. That's just like that thing here that happens. I feel like in LA where you're just like,

I think I know that person. But I'll never act on that. Right. I wonder if he just like maybe has seen my face before and was like I actually did see her two months ago in the store kind of conflating the two. But he didn't he didn't care to step in when his peer asked if you were working today. I don't think that. We're not working in the store.

Oh my God, you think she meant working in the, do you think they thought I worked there? I think so. That's what I felt. Oh, I thought she just meant like, why am I not like sitting on my computer? Oh, they thought I was an employee. Yeah, that's what I thought. That's what I heard. Oh, yeah.

Connor, that makes much more. Like why even you clocked in because you need to. But I was shopping. We need help in the background. I guess employees can shop there too. That's a funny thing about anthropology. Or no, you were at Eritzia. But my friend worked at anthropology, which is a subsect of free people as well as urban

outfitters. And so she was able to shop there. And then at the end of her summer job there, she owed them $600 because she spent so much money at the conglomerate. That's an awesome conglomerate. I've always loved those, that family of three. You know what I love? When someone says sister company, that's our sister company.

I like that too. I don't know what. That's going to be our sister company over there. Yeah. You never hear about a brother company. They're always trouble. Sister company, that's our sister company over there. I like that too, Connor.

You do? Yeah. Why do you think we like that so much? I think it's because we're used to hearing like male-dominated phrases. And so sister is kind of refreshing. Yeah. That's our mama company. Yeah.

Yeah, that's our mother company. Mother company. Oh my God, yeah. Yeah. Cool. That's our grandma company. Yeah. That's our Mimi, my mom.

Okay, what was I saying? Oh, I went over so I am moving in. I got my keys to my new apartment. And so I was just going to pick up my keys, right? How many minutes away is your new apartment from your old apartment? Four. Walking or driving? Driving.

And further away from me? Yeah. Okay. So it's only four minutes driving. because you actually have to like take a lot of turns. Right. But, um, so I'm thinking I'm like,

in a meter outside and I like, where is she? And I'm waiting for five minutes. And finally I'm like, I'm going to check if the door to my apartment's open. And I open the door. She's in my apartment barefoot. With a,

with a pile of grapes. It is so interesting how some people are like, it's more respectful to be barefoot. And some people are like, it's more respectful to have shoes on. And we'll just like never know the truth. I get being barefoot in like a furnished apartment, but this is like an unfurnished apartment. So I get in there. She's she's actually like flamingoing her feet where like one is like up like

this and she's barefoot. I was like, okay, she's doing yoga. I love that position. It's very comfortable. I'm talking about a woman that like doesn't live in my apartment and she's in there flamingoing eating some grapes. Okay. And then she's like, hello, like all this stuff. Hi all. Literally. Hi, all. And she's got the door, the other door to my apartment open. So she like came in through the side, which I'm so anyways, all this. And then my back windows open and like there's a breeze flowing through the space. And I'm like, okay, I'll take the keys and then you can kind of head out now. She wasn't ready to leave yet. So she, no, she was kind of explaining. She wrote down on a paper towel in Sharpie a bunch of nuances that she was unable to read back to me because she couldn't read her handwriting.

And she was like, what do you think this means? And I was like, it says pile. She's like, oh my gosh, she has the pile next to the back door. And I was like, the pile next to the back door. And then one said shower rock. And I was like, does this say shower rock? And she goes, oh, yes. Let me take you into the bathroom.

She takes me. This is a lease I've already signed. I want to be frank. I want to be clear. So I walk into the bathroom with her and she takes me into the shower which is one thing She's barefoot and I'm like now I'm in this small room with you You're like in shoeless Shoeless Joe and then she goes okay so here's this window and she opens it. She's like you're gonna want to use this rock

To prop the window open full-blown boulder in the shower You're gonna want to open the window and then put the rock in the window every time you shower and I was like I can't believe how much I'm paying for this apartment and then she's She's walking me through all these other things where she goes, if you plug something into this outlet, let me take you over here. And she walks me across the apartment. You need to unplug whatever's in this outfit.

Oh. And I was like, this would have been good info. Right. Before I moved in. Right. It's, you know what, Connor?

It's never going to be that way. You're always going to find out this information after you sign your lease. That's the lease of life. That is the lease. That's just the way. That's the way life work. It is. You're going to find out that your outlets

connected to a different house after you've already signed the lease. Yeah. On God. And then I told you last time that I'm responsible for the plants. Did I tell you that? Vaguely. So I have a back patio that she's unable to access except through my apartment. And so the agreement was I have to keep the plants that are already on the back patio alive because they're hers.

No. And I pay for it out of pocket. I didn't have time. Can't she just remove them? I don't think she has space because there's so, when you come over and see it, there's so many plants. But the agreement on the lease and this is something that we're like my, my like attorney like looked at it and was like, I really think that you should amend this. And I was like, I don't have time because what she's going to do is find someone who's like really, really wants this place and that's going to be the deal breaker. So like whatever, I'll water the plants three times a week, which is a crazy amount of times a week.

So she tells me. What kind of plants are they? Roses. And I freaking hate roses. Oh. I hate roses. Like probably my least favorite plant. Because they grow like a bush and then all you get after an entire, you're talking about.

What is the point of her having a rose bush if she's never going to see it or use it? You're talking about 90% shrub. 98% shrub with thorns, one maybe 2% reward flower. Okay. but she's not even reaping the 2%. She's not there. She's able to walk. What's the point of having a plant?

I don't know, Brooke. That you don't have. But she was able to share with me that the water source connected to my apartment has a hose that I just need to leave on for three to four hours three times a week. You have to move. I think I'm going to kill them. I think I'm going to kill the plants.

And then by the time she figures out, I'll be like, I'll just pay you for the new flower. You're not sitting out on my patio. How much is, do you think all of her plants totaled are? Like how much would you owe? I don't really get how much plants cost. I know they're more expensive than one would think. You know, I finally killed one my plants.

Ooh, sorry. That big one with the big leaves. No, the other one, big one. Oh, I know what you're talking about. Yeah. Damn, sorry. It's all right. She lived a good life.

I killed one that is impossible to kill, everyone says. A succulent? Succulents are so easy to kill. I don't know why everyone says they're so easy to take care of it. I killed those in six seconds. It's like, oh, you're overwatering me. Oh, you're underwatering me. Oh, there's too much done.

You need to choose a battle. Because I didn't even have any water today. Right. Yeah. Also, I figured out that like L.A. water, you cannot give to plants it kills them. And I'm like, I am drinking tap water 24-7. What's it doing to me? My plants have been living off L.A. water.

They're completely fine except for the dead one. Well, the ones that I killed have been just drinking tap water. And then when I started giving them my bread of water, totally fine. Weird. It's because of the heavy metal. But okay, okay. I have not used my Brita in three years. Just due to not wanting to refill it.

I know, it sucks. It sucks so bad. They should make like a huge Brita that you turn on the hose for three to four hours twice a week. And then it fills up. And then you drink out of it like a thirsty hamster. I'll know that I've made it when I have a house that has filtered water on the fridge door. Yeah. And then I'll know that I'm like.

like loaded rich when there's that filtered option on the sink where like the instant hot I'm moving out of a of a living situation that has all of those things and into a place that I have to put a rock in my window every time I shower I like places with character sue me I do not too much character where like I have to like remember to unplug something across the apartment when I plug something in on this side but like I like that it has open shelves everything could right off. And I like that it has outdoor space. Yeah. No roommates.

Facts. No roommates. Oh my gosh. I want to tell you guys a funny story and bonus. So I will do that. You just reminded me. How was your weekend? I was really good. I went up to San Francisco. I love San Francisco yet again. You know, I've never been. I know. It's a really cool, cool place. I think it's too cold. I don't think you would like it right now. It's too cold. How cold is it?

Freezing. How freezing is it? Probably 55. I'll be okay. Yeah. but it was good nothing to report really on that end oh nothing except oh i posted on my instagram story obviously like it was i was with like 15 20 people that and like it was like a it was like a reunion thing for like a lot of my friends so they uh we were like drinking we like

had a big lunch and everything and like had drinks or whatever and so like by by midnight which was 6 p.m when you're day drinking i was like making poor judgment decisions in terms of I posted on my Instagram story a video of me and Hank who we were having a really valid conversation this is not something I would normally post on my Instagram story and that's why it was oh I noticed I saw that where you were just slurring a little bit yeah okay we weren't like necessary we weren't like slurring I just know when you're drunk yeah yeah yeah but we were having an actual conversation where like people everyone knows I don't like smoke weed a ton but like You always say that

And then every single episode You're like oh I was high At some point sure I'm not like smoking weed every day I don't own a weed pen or any like physical weed I just have the cans I just feel like you're more of a weed god than you think you are Don't sell yourself short

Like anytime I am Doing any weed it's like the smallest amount And then I have like it's like I'll take like a one hit of weed Or like I'll have like a small can But anyways I was talking to Hank and I was like anytime I do weed and I eat something spicy, it enhances the spice so much to where I think it's a medical emergency. And he's like, that is not a thing. And I was like, I promised it to them. Is this what you were filming? So like, yeah. So I posted it and I was like

sound off in the comments. Like do you guys think food tastes spicier? And like 70% of people were like, yes, it gets way spicy. Right. And like 30% people were like, no, that's not a thing. But I posted that. And so Sunday morning I woke up to it. text from my mom that said, are you trying to change your image asking for a friend? And I was like, what? And she's like, just talking about weed online. I was just like, this is like Sunday scariest to the absolute max that like I posted what I thought was like a harmless Instagram story. And my mom's like probably in a group text with like seven of her tennis, tennis friends, like having a genuine conversation about me changing my image. You talk about drinking all the time though. So why would

weed be like I don't know, weed seems. I guess for, weed is legal. I know. I'm confused. I guess that there's still that like, taboo of weed, which we should, we should take part in the movement of ending that by speaking about it more.

Speaking out. Speaking out. But like obviously every time I talk about weed, it's like I was so high. I like had to leave a restaurant because I put red pepper on my pizza and it like overwhelmed my taste box. Right. But I had to respond and be like, like, no, I'm not trying to change my image,

was just chatting with a friend. And she said, or I was like, I don't know. Did you keep the story up or did you get anxiety deleted? Nope, I left it up because I said, you know what? If people are triggered by me talking about things being too spicy when I smoke weed, like they can't be here anyways. They need to go. So, Sianara.

But that was Sunday Scaries to the absolute maximum is to get a text from your mom saying, oh I see you're kind of rebranding as a as a as a delinquent today yeah I can understand that that's scary vibes that was scary and then I got on a plane and came back my parents like never say anything and sometimes I'm like that they don't say anything and then I'm like do you do you care that I'm smoking weed maybe you should on God I don't know. Like, I don't know why mine would care though. Right. I'm an adult. I don't know. For us is always greener. But then I was thinking like, okay, if my mama thought that, like, how many other mammas are out there following me that are like, I think like no one would be like completely shocked to their system that you've smoked, you smoke, you smoke weed a few times. Yeah, you're right. You know? Like if there's a mama following you who like truly is like, oh my God, like this changes everything. It's time to go. It's time to go. You know? Yeah. How was your weekend now? Mine was really nothing to report back. It was just like...

Right. Um, kind of bad. Oh, no. Just like in terms of anxiety. But the anxiety really kicked off Friday. Friday night. Okay. We had an event by we, I mean, me and Ryan. Ryan was there called Chain Fest, which like, I'm still like not exactly 1,000% positive of what it is. But it's like all these chain restaurants. Oh. In the same space. Yeah, it's a food day. Yeah, and you get a passport and you just go visit all, visit all the different stations and get your passport stamps. And I think BJ Novak either like organizes it or is an investor or something. So all of his celebrity friends come.

And on the email they sent out, it was like, John Mayer will be there. Like Mindy Kaling, like all of these like huge names. And whenever you see that, it's just like, okay, they're not going to be there. Connor, everyone was there. so before I get there I have convinced myself that Andrew Garfield is going to be there because he's been around L.A

and I have always said do not put me in a room with him okay please God never like I never I'm not even saying that to be like quirky don't put me like please like please please don't put me in under any circumstances with a man please ever so I'm like on edge thinking about if he's going to be there

because I've gotten a few DMs that like oh I just saw him like at the grove. Feeling unsafe. As I'm ruminating on that, I body-to-body shoulder check Nathan Fielder. And now at this point I text Ryan. I say, are you here? I'm in Cocktail City because that was the location name of the cocktail place, Cocktail City.

I do this every time. I thought you meant just like a mindset. Like I'm in Cocktail City right now. I was located in Cocktail City. Every time I am in a room with a celebrity crush, It's my behavior is unacceptable. It's not okay. I get so panicked.

It's like I don't like there's an option available to me that just like you don't have to go say hi. Just like enjoy being in the same space. It's okay. Like you don't have to feel the pressure to say anything. I get so in my head of like I have to make like the most incredible impression that I start down in cocktails every single time. Right. So in cocktail city, down in cocktails. Cocktail city.

In cocktail city. Lady Afron. Population Lady Ephron. I just like became a menace. Just kind of like not saying anything to him at all, but putting myself near him and being like, like I'm sure he could feel my energy. Like in a horrible way,

in a horrible way. Kind of just like, anyway, that was really it. You got a photo with him. Yeah, but like he was just like in the background. And then I was very embarrassed about that the next day. No. Yeah. But anyway, just if I could communicate with God for just a second.

Do not put me in a room with my celebrity crushers anymore. Please, unless here are the following ways in which it would be acceptable. I guess, like, if I'm going to see them and they're on a stage and there's no pressure of any sort to say anything, that's fine. That's good. I encourage it. God, please put me in that room. Maybe, like, in a black mirror type of world where we're on the stage, if they want to come to that, don't tell me. I don't want them to tell me that they're coming.

Yeah. But let me do really well on the stage and then see that they are there after. That would work too. God. And then I guess like if you like really feel like I can pull it together and that I'm able to make an impression that will last a lifetime. Yeah. Put them in the room with me.

Only if you're actually able to enter my body and take over and interact in a way that a normal that a normal person. should react. Other than those three instances, don't put me in a room with a celebrity crush, please. It's not good for anyone. It's not good for me. It's not good for the crush. It's not good for Ryan. It's good to lay it out like that because specifics are so important in this case, in this use case. Anyway, you know who else was there? Who? I went with Megan. Okay. Megan is my dear, dear friend. She is the only person I've ever met in my life that rivals my celebrity obsession crush personality behavior.

The first thing she said to me when I met her, one of the first things was that she wants to live in the space between John Mayer's teeth. Okay? That's the first thing she's ever said to me. John Mayer is at the event. Yes. Megan is so competent.

She walks right up to him. They have the most incredible discussion about his music. She's completely... She talked to him? Ryan, he was rubbing her arm. Was this after I left? This was after you left.

I have photos. Photos of the conversation. They literally like looked like they had been friends since birth. Wow. If I could have a little bit of that grace. How long after I left? I will say around the night became a little bit hazy to me.

But probably not long. I don't think we were there that long after you left because I got upset. So, yeah. They were like really old friends. That's all. Awesome. Who else was there?

Who else was there? Andy Cohen. Andy Cohen. With John. Chris Pratt. Chris Pratt. Mindy Kaling, who I didn't see for the best. Rachel Bilsen.

Rachel Bilsen. Chrissy and John. Yeah, John Legend. Chrissy and Tegan. Just like a lot of, just like, surprising people that you wouldn't expect to be at a fast food event. As an ethical cloud chaser. Oh, you would have been. As well as a narcissist.

it would have been really hard for me to be there and I that would have been too much for me to be like I am on the clock ethically class chasing right now I need to whisper in everybody's ear some some quiet nothings sweet nothings sweet nothings that's the word I was looking for yeah so just if if I could never be in a room with any of my celebrity coaches again except for the outlined circumstances or possible outcomes I would really appreciate it because it's I think that's honestly what set me off well each step forward is a step forward I took about 18 steps back well now it's just time to revisit those steps as you move back forward out of the backwards part also just talking about Nathan for one second he

seems completely normal just from where I was standing like talking to people in a way that was just like how close were you to him while he talked to people inches oh okay I was going to say, I don't think he's very... He seemed completely socially competent. Wow. Which we'll never know who he is. No. He could be doing a bit of social competence and we'll never know.

Mm-hmm. I don't know. But then I woke up the next morning and, you know, when your anxiety is so bad, you're Googling like how to stop anxiety even though you've, you know the answers and you've also Googled that 15,000 times hoping that there will be like a magic article. Like, oh, maybe they do. did more research over the weekend. Oh, yeah.

Maybe you can go to CBS and get this magic pill that they just invented actually today. Yeah. That's when you know it's bad is the Googling. Yeah. Yeah. That's always bad. Googling things you know the answer do. The one big thing I have, especially if you're like in bed, because I told you guys,

I keep waking up thinking the moon is falling on me. Right. And I'm like, what could I do to stop that? Nothing. Please tell me they have created a device to stop. the moon or blow it up or something if it starts falling on us like i green said that nothing will come out of the sky in our lifetime i know brooke i have to keep revisiting that tweet via from hang green yeah that you put me on yeah thank god you put me on to that because like every single day

like insta single or puberty or one of those huge meme things has like a news article that like looks so official and it's like there's an asteroid that's heading right towards earth and then i have to be like Hank green said it's not going to hit us right i think you need a like very new sources I think I need to stop talking about space right now. Okay. Okay. You know what came out yesterday? Should we do some quick rapid fire pop see?

Yeah. Oh, wait. Can I say one more thing? Hit me. I have, since we saw saltburn a few weeks ago and discussed it on last week's pod, I'm experiencing something that is what I guess I call a delayed hyperfixation. Right.

I know where you're going to go with this? Where it's like, you know those medications you take that are like extended release where it's like you have your first dose and then it starts grabbing. Gradually, like, working over time. Yeah. That's what's happening to me with Saltburn. Watching the movie was my first dose.

Mm-hmm. And gradually over time I'm becoming more and more obsessed with it, hyper-fixating in different ways. I'm in love with Barry Kogan. Right. I had no idea that was coming. I could have called that. Really?

I'm completely shocked. I'm completely shocked. Did you notice that in the camera angles, when they were intentionally trying to make him seem like God in that movie? I had no idea this was coming. It was very intentional. Also? I think that's almost like prisoners complex.

What's that called? Sockholm syndrome. Sockholm syndrome. There's something about him. There's something about him that's intoxicating. You're not alone. Go check his Instagram comments. Oh, I know.

I'm one of them. Yeah. Someone said he winks in my clothes fall off. I'm like, I don't think we're looking at the same ombre. It's really, it's a unique experience I'm having. to go from seeing it, being obsessed with Jacob Allorty, and then sitting with it over time, and now having a completely different experience.

I'm going to see it again. I need to. You can thank the cinematography for that. I'm serious. Now, go watch that movie in the sense of like, when he's in the same room, I don't know how much we can say. Spoiler alert for like the next 15 seconds, okay?

Three, two, one. When he's in the same room with Jacob and he's like the bad guy, they pin him as like he dresses like shit he's so tiny he's like evil whatever you mean bad guy he is the bad guy the whole time i know but like when they want to frame him as like maybe he's the protract they go from lower and he seems bigger and he seems ripped and they only you know like oh smart yeah i'm obsessed with the director it was fantastic yeah it was really well done i think i might go see it again let's go okay okay okay okay we go yeah i'm down okay okay we'll circle back Do some weed?

Connor, I don't do weed, by the way, you guys at all, ever. I think actually that would be a situation. Because remember that one time I smoked and there was a disturbing scene and then I actually needed to go to the hospital? Yeah. I think that might happen. Oh, well, then don't.

But maybe it won't. I don't know. Yeah, it might. Anyway, what do you think about me knitting a saltburn sweater? I think that's a great idea. Yeah, that's a great idea. Okay. That would do numbies.

It's not even about the Numbies. Oh, it's always about the Numbies for me. I know. It's just about my sweater. Oh my God, I'm going to give it to Barry if we'll have it. Just send me your address. Here we go. Cocktail City.

Cocktail City with your sweat. Don't put me in a room with Barry or Jacob. Don't put me in a room. I would hate to be in a room. I would hate to be in a room. I would hate to be in a room. Time came out with their person of the year this year. Right.

And last year, I was like, Brooke who do you think person of the year is going to be and the people nominated last year were like Malala and Dr. Fauci and Brooke said probably Catherine Hahn like for no reason. What do you mean no reason? Well I mean she does she does so much. She's amazing. She's amazing but like where did you where did you come up with Catherine Han? I don't it was just I don't even think she worked last year. I don't think she did she was in glass onion or something and I just was reminded of how incredible she is. She is amazing. but person she's in every she most of your favorite movies katherine hon is in and you just don't give her the recognition that she deserves it was like and i would like time to step up to the plate president zelinski versus katherine hans the two the two finalists katherine hot all the way all the way anyway she wasn't it randomly let's let's get her back in the zeitgeist for 2024 but i'm not crazy because now it's taylor swift so we are doing

What was it face for? I mean, Taylor Swift operated at the level of, like, world leaders this year. Okay, but I'm just saying, like, I'm not crazy in the sense of, like, not only guessing a politician or some, like, activist. I'm just so happy because Barbie, just in general, was nominated. Barbie and the president of China. Wait, Barbie was nominated for Person of the Year? Oh, Barbie, the doll? The doll.

Okay. But I assume, like, the people that would accept the award would be. the people that like put the movie together because it was like it was historical in many senses of the word but it really like doesn't matter no offense to those involved we're talking about like world leaders Taylor Swift I count as a world leader to me at this point yeah because of her effect on the economy she did more for the economy than any that's true any U.S. official could or has that's true um and yeah like all of these world leaders like look at her and they'd be like please come to our city please that was not supposed to be an asses.

accent. I don't know why I went into accent though. I was an accident, but that was rightfully acquired. I agree. That being said, Catherine Hahn could have a huge 2024, so that's not right crossed. I would love that. Catherine Hahn. I actually don't even know what I'd talk about. Wait. Actually, I could, every single movie I love. Did you see Julie Reifis got podcast of the year? No, that's great. I know. That is great. Well deserved. Queen. Let's have, we have Izzy bringing us out some eggnog because Brooke said she wanted to try eggnog.

And I was like, oh yeah, Brooke should try eggnog. Like, you know, that's like a Christmas tradition and whatever. And then I was like. Oh, is it going to be sick? Try it first and then pour it. Because I don't want you to pour. It's already in the cup. Okay.

Can I read the, should I read the ingredient? No, don't. I think read it after. Okay. I just want to say like when I was, like, oh, Brooke should try eggnog. I realized at the end of the sentence, I was like, I've never tried eggnog. It looks like custard.

It looks like it should be called eggnog. Yeah. Oh, I don't want to do it really, to be honest. You're giving it a smell? Smells fine. What does it smell like? Custard. That doesn't make me feel better about it.

Oh, this is nasty. Oh, this is so nasty. I'm actually not feeling like as horrible as you. I will say, though, I am like kind of having a hard time getting It's going to go into my mouth. You try it first. Fuck you. Oh, that's good.

Really? Yeah. Oh, that's real good. Oh. I'm not going to keep drinking it, but it's fine. Yeah, I can't imagine drinking a glass of this. Totally not offensive at all. Like, I could see myself liking it if it was, like, made into another kind of drink.

And eggnog was an ingredient in a larger, and a larger, like, more, like, chocolatey punch. Does that make sense? Are you okay or not really? No, yeah, I'm just trying to figure out the flavor profile. It's got to be. I would say like I would love to not see it. I would love to not have to see the visual before it entered my mouth. Oh, this is really like milk, cream, high fructose corn syrup.

Yeah, that makes sense. Sugar, regular corn syrup. Right. Egg yolks, natural and artificial flavors. Spice. More milk. gum guar gum

caraginian of course mono and diglycerides oh my god no you can't be having those triglycerides oh no my heart is stopping turmeric oh it's healthy color no that's the color turmeric

turmeric produces color and bronzies color and brunsies salt and di sodium phosphate that doesn't sound I don't know what that is but that can't be good love it Totally fine. That is great. I was getting very much

like Barry in the bathtub vibes when I first saw it. Okay. So that took me a second, yeah. So that was tough. That's a tough not to swallow. Literally. Eggnog.

Yeah. Tough not to swallow. I wouldn't want to put alcohol on that because that seems like a recipe for disaster for me. In a bad way, like I wouldn't even, no, because like that's like two acts of evil coming

putting their heads together. Yeah. my stomach feels like it would be sick. I mean, I don't know. You love those peanut butter shots. That's like the same consistency. You know how sick I was when I had 18 of those? Just from sugar intake, I promise you.

I wasn't drunk at all. I know. I was sick. Like food, I had food poisoning. No, you had about like 160 grams of sugar in like an hour. I know. You got like a childhood sugar rush. It was like.

With alcohol. Yeah. Really bad. Um, do we touch? George Santos now? I think I want to a little. Okay. George Santos. Where is he now? That's the question on everybody's lips. Well, I'll tell you where he is now, Brooke. On cameo. George Santos is on cameo and he's up his rate from, I think, he started at like $60 and now it's $200. He's under charging. I would literally pay $500, I think. Well, it's available to you now for $300 off.

I'm saying if I care. Oh, no. Now it's up to $400. Oh, yeah. He's that. Is it problematic to say he's the king? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Very cool. Good to know. I'm just so entertained.

Yeah, he's, um... And I joined late. Like, I knew that he was a problem. He was a problem child. But I wasn't really tuning in until, until far too late, until recently. I didn't know that he was the way he is. It's funny because saying like the, like, his, his, his bio is the expelled the expelled member of congress from new york city former congressional icon

with the painting hand painting nails emoji yeah there's a lot of pride going into being expelled from congress and i'm pretty sure like you go to jail forever if that if you do what he did right so is he making some money and then heading off to i don't get it the penitence i don't get i don't know i wish that they had a george santos situation for dummies i just don't get how he was elected in the first place. I think that's where I'm confused. I need to hit spark. But didn't he not even graduate high school? I don't know. I don't know his background. He lied a bunch. Right. He elected. Oh, they put out. But didn't they figure out that he lied like a while ago and he was still? He was already elected. Right. But wouldn't he be expelled once they figure out that he lied?

Well, that's where all the politics come in because like one portion didn't want to expel him until they actually had an indictment or like a because then it's just you're just spelling somebody based on rumors or like what they say. But then they publicize his list of lies and it's like longer than an essay I wrote in college. It's like it's crazy. It's like I lost my mom in 9-11 and she's like fully alive. I want him to write a biography and not a biography or memoir, whatever. And I want his version of the truth and I want on the next page of the version of the truth side by side. Oh, that would be fun.

You know, like, as you're reading, okay, my mom died 9-11. Footnote, Mom is still alive. Like, I want that to be the whole. Footnote? Mom's right behind him writing this. Yeah, I mean, I'm so, I am very entertained. They could do community notes on anything he posted, probably. Did you hear that he sounds just like Lola from Big Mouth?

Oh, yeah. There's no difference. Yeah, he does. There's no difference between the voices. Can we play one? Oh, 100%. There's no difference. And also, I wanted to stop by and say, thank you for your thankless public.

Thankless. Delaware legislature. It's not for the faint of heart. Staff is the most important part of a representative of government. You guys make it all work. And I'm so looking forward to see you guys. How many people have this much money burning a hole in their pocket to give to George Santos? That's what's crazy to me

I would be one of them I fear He's really Problematic I know I know that Oh he'll Oh he's doing a limited number of videos Okay so he's only doing 28 more

Something tells me Something tells me One thing about me and George Once you get a little taste of This where he's like people want to hear Me to make cameos He'll he'll up that number. $400 a video, what's 400 times 28? A lot. So he'll make 11 grand doing 28 more videos.

He's probably set for life now, which sucks because he's problematic, but unfortunately, like, I am entertained and that's what sucks. Oh, yeah, that is tough. That's what sucks. Hmm. And he's got a great rating on Gamia, actually, 4.96s. They're good. He's, like, good at it. Yeah. Like, he should have just gone right into. entertainment. He was. He was a drag queen in Brazil. I don't know. Was he pursuing that heavily or was it just like a one-off? He was pursuing it. I don't know heavily. I guess it depends on who you ask. But maybe we'll do a deep dive in close friends on Georgie Poo. No, because I'm saying the wrong things. What do you mean? I literally called him a king. That's okay. No, because a lot of people

are like the whole internet is. It's just like I'm, I just like can't really look away is what I'm saying. Yeah. But I don't want to put, I don't want to put my foot in my mouth anymore. Oh, okay. What's done is done.

Okay. I've said what I've said. I don't want to say anything else. Fact. Just in case, because I'm anxious. Okay. As always. Well, then we can wrap up.

Yeah. Let's head into bonus. Let's go into bonus, you guys. See ya. Thanks for listening. We'll see you. Love you. This week on Close Friends. Do you always wear a hat?

You shouldn't because you have fabulous lips on a rocking ass. Your ass is so rocking. Please don't wear a hat. Look at them touch that prey dog's breasts. Oh my God, leave its breasts alone. My landlord's so nice. Oh my gosh. She has prisoner syndrome.

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