Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - The Shrek Ick

Episode Date: May 23, 2024

SUBSCRIBE TO THE NEW BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl   Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr NEW MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com  This week, Brooke and Connor are coming to you live from 2 weeks ago in a special Schrödinger episode. They debate the proper use of vestibules, break down the perfect flight routine, and review some of your hottest takes.  Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/  Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01® Daily Synbiotic. Go to http://Seed.com/BANDC and use code 25BANDC to get 25% off your first month. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at http://betterhelp.com/bandc and get on your way to being your best self. Book whoever you want to be on Booking.com, Booking.YEAH! Get warm weather ready with Quince! Go to http://Quince.com/bandc for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. 0:00 Flight Upgrades 1:26 Intro 1:46 Luxury Flying 3:34 Signing Up For Canyon Ranch 4:55 Drinking A Pound of Spinach 7:29 The Schrödinger Episode 9:58 ABF’s Manifestation 11:15 Seed 12:54 Checking In On Our Manifestations 14:30 Brooke’s Urgent Care Trip 16:55 Partying In The Urgent Care 17:25 Burbank Shoutout! 19:19 Connor’s Confession 22:48 BetterHelp 24:00 Vestibule To The Butt 27:37 Her Truth vs The Truth 28:40 Max’s New BMs 34:01 Cleaning For The Maid 35:29 Booking.com 36:31 The Shrek Ick 40:40 Cartoon Character Doppelgangers 42:34 Audible Books vs Real Books 45:30 Firework Enthusiasts 48:54 Quince 50:14 Being Scared of Needles 52:26 Is Bohemian Rhapsody Overrated? 55:05 A Hot Take… 55:31 Where’s Your Limb? 57:14 Intense Celebrity Crushes  58:59 Finding Your Professor On Grindr 1:00:19 26 and Still Sucking Thumb 1:01:50 Bitchy Roommates 1:03:36 Incest? 1:05:42 President Smokeshow 1:07:18 Getting Kicked Out of Connor’s Show 1:07:40 Threesomes! 1:08:00 Stealing Money From Fundraisers 1:09:29 Cap Age Gaps 1:13:12 See You In Bonus!!!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

But I got, I upgraded myself on the flight to Paris to premium economy. I think it's only economy. It's an, no, it's an all-economy flight. Maybe not. But I am in 1A and it's a premium economy. Or maybe just premium period. What airline? Oh, Norse.

Oh. I didn't know you're flying Norse. Yeah, I'm flying Norse. Oh my gosh. My family's of the Norse. Yeah, that's why I'm doing it. Oh my God. So I, but I do get a duvet.

Out of respect. And extra reclining. So we'll see. I don't know. It's definitely not a lie flat. I don't think they have lie flats. And I am in 1A. So, but I get unlimited drinks.

A duvet. So you'll have one. Yeah, exactly. I'll have one glass of wine and be asleep for the whole 11 hours. There is no sleep quite like on a plane. Let's a long flight after one glass of wine. I sleep harder there than in any bed I've ever owned, completely stone cold sober after showering.

If I have one glass of wine and I've got a rom-com on and I'm on a lay flat plane for 10 plus hours, I am as close to dead as someone could be. Oh, I didn't know you did lie flats. Just like when we fly standby with my dad's thing, like there's always open seats in first class and that's what we get. Whoa. for free. I just got off the phone with my dad out there

and he's like trying to get us to go back to Italy this summer. But like my mom will only do it if there's seats available in first class. She won't. They won't pay for it and she will not make the trip. That's fair. Unless it's a lie flat. Honestly, I told you this. But that one time that I got mint, JetBlue Mint, when I went to,

Don't worry, darling, the Sea of Warner Brothers. They got mint. Oh my gosh. I forgot you did that. And I. had the hardest time traveling after that. Yeah. Like to go back from that was, I just almost wish I had never known it at all.

No, I can't do it one time because I can't justify it. I literally were like, no, I'm like, I will take an Adderall and sit straight up in the very back. And I'll read a book. I'll figure out how to read in the back. That could be fun. Yeah. But then I'm thinking like, oh, I save so much money. And I do save so much money by not upgrading my seats.

and I'm like, suck it up. You can do it. I can't. And I just can't spend that money on myself for something that's so fleeting, no matter how much I want to. I agree. I don't know if I'll ever get to that spot no matter how much money I have. Brooke, I agree completely wholeheartedly. Whoa.

Because even that happened. I also kind of feel like I know there's different levels. I feel the same way kind of with hotels where like if I'm on a cool trip like Italy, I'm going to be outside all day enjoying Italy. You know, like I don't really need a luxurious room to sleep in. I just simply need a bed. For me, it depends. Like, I don't really care about the luxurious room.

But, like, I could do with, like, a luxurious on-site waterfall and an infinity pool. But as, like, I can see Italy. House Hunters International. Brooks needs. Brooks needs must have a waterfall on site. I'm not hiking to a waterfall. Waterfall on site. Anything else?

Yeah, spa. Like, I'm saying if it's, like, that kind of thing, I would invest. If you're on a trip and you're doing spa waterfall vives. Like I would love to do Canyon Ranch one day. Malibu? Yeah. Where else is it? I don't.

My mom used to go. I thought this was a rehab facility. It's not the Dona, is it? There's one of Malibu. Right. I don't think I'd want to go to that one. No, that would be rehab. I really think it's a rehab in Malibu.

No, I'm talking about something else. It is called Canyon Ranch, though. Oh, look at all these people that all look. Yeah. like George Clooney's clones. Although when I went to fitness camp, it was a branch of Canyon Ranch because that's how my parents got me to go.

It was like bougie. And that is something that you can really like make of it what you will. Like I chose not to engage in any of the workout and good eating opportunities that I was sent there for and truly just did cooking classes. Fun. and yoga.

Oh, there's one in Massachusetts. And I came out a few pounds heavier. So, life's what you make. Life's what you make it and you're on a trip. You're just on a trip. Can I tell you about what's in my juice that I just looked down and saw? 17 kale leaves.

A pound of spinach? One large apple. Half an English cucumber. One whole celery stick. One entire lemon. and two inches of ginger. Two inches. That's the same height as your new figurine.

You're right. Yeah. He's so tiny. You guys, it came in the mail yesterday. Well, that's how tall two inches is. You sent me that completely shocked when we had just read in the bio that it was too much. No, that was for the little brass monkey. Monkey Funky.

You didn't look at how tall yours was going to be? Hell no. I was just excited to get him. But I just have a hard time. You're telling me, how do you get a pound of spinach? And then all of a sudden, like, this isn't even a pound. The bottle isn't even a pound. Connor, I was about to say this is so dumb, but, like, how do you eat, like, pounds of food and then not carry those pounds?

Because it breaks down. Probably the same way, like, the stain breaks down via Tidepin. Where does it go? That's not for us to decide. I get it breaking down through your body, but where would the pound of... That must be a pound, honestly. If there's a pound of spinach in there, then that has to be a pound. because I learned from Hank Green recently liquefying something doesn't make it lighter

It doesn't I mean there's no way of knowing Oh 15.2 ounces Fluid ounces Let's see how many counts that is Yeah Let's get to the bottom of it I bet it's gonna be at least one I think that's how I think 52 ounces are in a pound

Oh Two You have to do fluid ounces though What wouldn't it be the same weight No there's different ounces What It's basically a pound What about the one apple?

Where the fuck did they put the apple? You're right. And the celery stick? No, we're talking about 15 pounds of gear here that they got into this bottle. But you also remove the rind of all these. Wait, the basement yard boys were having a discussion like this recently. If you put a whole apple in a blender, it's not lighter as apple juice.

Matter cannot be created or destroyed. Right. So that's the same as the same. Solid spinach was. This isn't like a conversation not for us. Move on. Let's move on. We have to move on.

Hank. What'd you do today? I just got back. I did the Good Guys podcast. What does that come out? Probably the same day as this. This is coming out in two weeks. Ciao, Bella.

This is another little bit, recorded a little bit in advance. It's next week. It comes out next week. Oh. What comes out next week? Oh, yeah. This one comes out a week from tomorrow. I record this is going to be still backlogged.

Oh, okay. Do you know who your guest host is yet? I can't wait to see. I wouldn't dream of knowing who it is. It's going to be a surprise, except when you see this, they will already be. This is like a Schrodinger's cat episode. This episode exists and doesn't.

No, my co-host exists and doesn't. Damn, you're right. Yeah. Because right now they don't, but right now they do. This is a time. We've moved from the way. and fluid ounces of spinach. Where does she come from?

Where does she go? Where does she come from? Got and I Joe to a time and space conversation about my co-host that may or may not exist at all. My co-host might not even be born yet. Yeah.

Anything is possible. My co-host might only be just a twinkle in his or her father's eye. I wouldn't go that far. I might have a newborn... Since your recording is in a week. A newborn baby as my co-host? I've told you that we pass our death days every year, right?

I hate when you say that. That's so not okay. It's the same type of thing. Babies and death. Literally the opposite ends of the life cycle. But the life cycle nonetheless. But you know what the beautiful part is? Everything in between the peanut butter and jelly of the life cycle.

Yeah. You know what freaks me out? That yes, the best day of your life is probably still to come. come. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la what were you saying about the best day of my life? It's probably yet to come. Yay. And so is the work.

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la not in the manifestation space. I think I've already had my worst day. I told you about the craziest thing I manifested or I don't actually think I did manifest it. I don't know. But we haven't talked about it here. We haven't talked about on the podcast. No, we haven't. But I'm going to talk about it on obsessed tomorrow, which if you watch that, you'll

have seen us talk about that already, but that hasn't happened yet. in real time. Does that make sense? And you might have the worst day of your day, you're like today. No, I won't. Like after this. No.

So maybe you should talk about it here. Sure. Yeah. On Obsessed, Connor. Yeah. When Andrew Barthelbman was on, we were talking about like roles that he would be really good in on Broadway.

And I said you should play Seymour in Little Shop of Horrors. Lo and behold, at the end of May, who's starring as Seymour? Andrew Barthalbamian. I would love to know. I want to ask him if that was already

like kind of in the works. You should definitely call him. No, I'm too shy. Do you have his phone number? No. So I can't call him. Oh, okay. But I'm also too shy to DM too. Okay.

I just am so excited for him. He is literally like, I can't, I'm gonna go. Did you ever figure out who? But I'm not going to tell him because I don't want to be weird. You had it in your podcast. You should go.

So sweet. I'm so excited. Yeah. But I would love to know how much of that was the manifestation space versus how much of that was just already in the works doing his natural god-given talent. We all need to know.

I think we all need to know how much of it was his god-given talent. Well, all of it was. Right. But also in addition to the god-given talent, I'm really excited for that and for him. Yeah, that's great. That's exciting for him.

Yeah. So anyway, that's just a manifestation conversation. Anything that you've been needing to manifest recently? We've been done that in a while. I've never, I don't think, manifested anything in this space. That's not true. What did I manifest? I don't remember, but...

Lizzo. Oh, Lizzo getting canceled. They're in that treasure thing. Oh, my God, get the treasure thing out. What's in the treasure thing? We put manifestations in there. When? I think so.

I don't remember that. This one? Okay, ready? Yeah. Should I read them or is it too soon? Did we say we were going to open them next year? It's literally... It's only been 20 episodes since we did it.

Should I not open them? I'll do one. Do one. Do one. Yeah. Okay, this is you. yours. Okay. Great.

I'm going to have a comedy special. Oh, great. Put it away. Put it back in the box. You kind of do. No, I don't. You do. It's just not aired.

Eared. Eared. Eard. So far. So. So good. I will say. Go ahead and read one of yours.

Go ahead and don't skip all those. It's not looking good. That's a fifth one. I say none of mine came true and none of yours came true. Put him away for the rest of the year. No worries. Come on. We only have a lot of time left.

Yep. We got only, we have 30, we have 31 weeks left. I'm not worried about it at all. I'm not either. Yep. I went to urgent care this morning. Oh, whoa. All good.

I'm fine. But I like, I think I, I don't know if I do or if I just convinced myself that I have a UTI because I'm leaving. So I'm just like, of course, like something would happen to me. right before I'm about to go and then it would get worse as I have no longer have access to U.S. healthcare. So of course I had to just go. God forbid you don't have access to U.S. healthcare. That would suck for me. No, for me, U.S. healthcare sucks, of course. I don't think you need. Basically, I'm just more comfortable being, having a medical issue in my

home area where I kind of know how everything works than in a different space. That's fair. So I went to urgent care. And then when I walked in, the lady at the first, front desk and there's also like a room full of people waiting said what brings you in today which like I didn't know I've never had an experience where I've had to say what's wrong with me loudly in front of other people I think I would just say I have an appointment I didn't I'm here for an appointment that I made so I obviously screamed I think I've UTI yeah I had my headphones in but then I was like then I sat down and I was like maybe I should have just said I need to see a doctor I have a UTI, I think.

That's why I'm here. I don't care about seeming that kind of dumb. Oh, okay. So did everyone look you up and down and try to help? I mean, no, but I was just like, after I sat down, I realized that I feel like I could have handled it differently. You live and you learn. But like that, to ask like what brings you in is confusing and on the spot. Well, like, they probably get a lot of people asking to use the restroom.

What brings you in today? The restroom. Jim, it's over here. So I should have just said I'm doing, I need to make an appointment. You had an appointment? Oh, no, it was urgent care. No, I did not. I was a walking. Oh, they probably check to see if like you're dying right there. Or I was thinking like they check to see if it's like an ER issue or an urgent care issue.

Yeah. So I've just been going back and forth. I think it was a pretty normal thing that you did. You think saying I had a UTI? Yeah. People, everyone has a UTI. And then, true. And then someone else came in, but my headphones were in so I didn't hear

brought him in, but I would have loved to hear what he said if he just needed a doctor or if he had a specific ailment. You could probably just ask because it seems like a free-for-all in urgent care. We did take Hunter into an urgent care because I jumped on his back and he fell and his teeth went through his bottom lip. Connor? Hunter. Oh. And this was like a UT football game like a year and a half ago. And we went into urgent care and like we were all having so much fun. Everyone in the waiting room was like drunk because it was like all drunk things and we were all ordering canes. I was like you do you want to order any canes because the wait time was so long. I just ordered the whole waiting room canes. It was great. I made a lot of friends. That's really nice of you. Yeah. I love canes.

Love canes. They have. They just opened a canes next to a dairy queen. And I think it's in Burbank and that's a big deal because we don't have dairy queens here or really canes. So I've got to go. I think they're in a mall. It's like the airport by the berbank airport yeah by the burbank airport i need to go only it's only a 55 minute drive for me oh same yeah i've flown into burbank one time we don't need to tell everyone that though i'm sorry no one cares no one gives us shit i'm sure that there is like one person out there that very deeply cares oh i also flew into the burbank airport finally a podcast for me i got lost in the burbank airport parking lot the other day because i had meant to turn into panda express

but the turn before was fully the Burbanking airport. The Burbankin? Yeah. Wait, how often are you going to Burbank? Did I say the other day? Yeah. It was a few months ago. Why?

Are you going to Burbank for Panic? I actually had something cool and exciting in Burbank that I can't actually say what it is. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know if it will be out by the time this episode comes out. but I'll let you know why I was in Burbank when that... Wait, can you just remind me so I can be on the same page?

Wait, that's Burbank? That was in Burbank, yes. Oh, wait. Oh, wow. So, moral of the story is, on my way home, I needed Panda Express, and the turn before it was the Burbank Airport. So I went into there instead of Panda Express. That's awesome.

So we each have a little Burbank Airport anecdote. Yep. you could say that again. Yep, literally my life. That's literally my life. I just have to get something else off my chest that I talked about in our segment called Better Help, right? Yeah?

Yes. Max's turds? Max's turds. Okay, so I know Max's body inside and out. Max I took to the vet yesterday because he's getting his nuts chopped on Friday. So by the time, this episode comes out, he will be Sands Nuts.

Oh my God, his nuts both exist and don't exist. Brooke, mind-blowing. Shrodinger's balls. Nuts is reminding me really quickly of when I was a preschool teacher. There was like a huge fad of them all telling each other they were going to punch each other in the nuts. That was funny for like a long time. Which I was just like, there was like literally like nothing that could stop it. Anyway.

Wait, them saying it? No, not when I was in preschool. when I was teaching preschool. No, I'm saying, like, thinking about that as, like, hearing a little kid say that, that's, like, absolutely hilarious. Yeah, it was pretty good. I want that to be my ringtone. Back and forth, back and forth. Mm-hmm.

So I took Max to the vet. I'm taking him in because they make you... Oh, this is spilling all over me. They make you, uh... They make you go in for an appointment, get fully checked out to, like, see if there's anything around with them before nuts chopped. And I'm in there, and, you're in there. they're like, so what's wrong with him? So what's wrong with him?

I'm going, nothing. I'm just, you told me to come in to get him checked before the appointment. Okay, well, is he, has he bitten you? No. Does he bite you to dogs? No. Does it? What does he do?

I'm like, he just has his balls and like, we're trying to get them off of him. And she's like, okay, well, you should be brushing his teeth every day. And I was like, what are you talking about, bitch? Like, I'm here to get my dogs. Like, I'm just here in and out. She's like, okay. like he's underweight and I was like well the last vet told me he's not and he was perfect so then she sold me a hundred dollar but the bag of dog food which was like really hard to not to say no to when

like a vet is telling you like he needs this digestive dog food yeah finally like she's giving me all this advice she gives me a number for a dog trainer by the way my the whole time max is laying at my feet being so good then they're like we have to put the thermometer up his ass hold him and I was like do you have another thermometer like could we do and I know you have an ear thermometer come on and they're like no we gotta do we gotta do I think all dogs do but thermometers you can do ear thermometers really seen it yeah they do it at the vet that comes to my house does it in the ear he prefers ear stuff and versus ass play and so they have me hold max I'm like oh praying to God like poor my poor dog like oh I hope he can get through this oh

Oh, no, poor Max. All good. We're done. Max got fully penetrated in and out and didn't even move. Thermometers are thin. Brooke, I'm going to put a thin thermometer in your ass. Sorry, I didn't mean to invalidate his accomplishing. Tell me if you notice.

I am, what a trooper. I am really proud of him. Tell me if you notice if I put your... That's not. It's not that. Connor, it's much thinner than that. Brooke, I was there. It was a vestibule.

That's not how that word is. Eh. Used. We're cutting hairs now. But it was crazy. And then they're like, we're going to give him this like new shot. And I was like, you know what a vestibule?

It doesn't matter. Okay. The human language is made out of nuanced language. No, I know. I agree. I knew what you meant. And you can use it kind of, Brooke, you know. You and I both know.

You know as well as I know that language. Connor, I do know. It's just the fact that it's not even like, do you know what a vestibule is? No, let's look into what a vestibule. It's like a little area before like the main entering point. Like at a bank, there's like a vestibule when you walk in with the ATM. Can I see? definition of vestibule.

How do you spell that? What? What? Am I wrong? No, I said you pulled the straw and you were like... A vestibule. That's a little... A little area before you go into the thing.

We did the deaf out loud. An antechamber, which I would also call that, hall or lobby next to the outer door of a building. Do you see what I'm saying? Connor, you're right. I totally. What you meant is you were also using a visual code. Okay, guys, everyone knows what I meant.

No, Connor, I know. Imagine if you weren't doing visuals. Sorry. That a vest of you was shoved on Max's ass. Sorry, but like even if I didn't have a visual ed, you would have understood what I was saying. I wouldn't have. That's the thing.

I wouldn't have. Within the context of all that has come before you, I would have been able to provide, I would have been able to get you there. No, this is a situation where you did just fall out of the coconut tree. Like, there's no context of vestibule. There is. Okay.

Oh, my gosh. Is a vestibule not, like, a perfect way to describe something that's, like, going to someone's ass? I mean, now it is. I got that vegetable stuck in my ass. Vegetable? No, now we're getting off topic. Okay. Keep going.

Sorry. I got a half of an English cucumber stuck in my vestibule. Honestly. that works better. Asshole is like a much better comparison to vestibule than thermometer. Okay. It is in a way, the vestibule to the colon. Okay.

Yeah. Your actual asshole is the lobby next to the outer door of a building to your body. No, it's literally the vestibule to your body. Yeah. The asshole is the vestibule to your soul. Yeah. Yes. And who's a what's a what?

Oh, oh my God. A chamber or a channel opening. into another. I was like completely right. No, you were describing the shape of the thermometer. That's just another way to describe the bank. It should. It should. It should. It should. There are some words that really like the I can't think about you're saying it so confidently. You should like I think some words, if they sound like something else, like that's how we should use them.

Connor, I agree. Okay, good. Good. I'm glad we're on the same page. Yeah. What were we getting? I don't know. Oh. Oh, okay. That's it. That's the end of the story, I guess.

I had actually gone into this discussion pretty in depth with my dad and my sister the other day. About what? What part? Because I was complaining about Arizona as an entity, specifically where my dad lives, because it's so far from everything. And I was saying that the Barnes & Noble was 45 minutes from his house. There should never be a house that has a Barnes & Noble that far. that far away from it. And then he was like, you're lying.

You lie a lot. And I was like, no, that was my experience. It was 45 minutes away. So then we Googled it and it was 29 minutes. And I said, that's not a lie. That's 45 minutes is my truth. Because that's how I felt.

So it is 45 minutes away. Because I felt that it was 45 minutes away. It's about how things make you feel. And that was my truth. Imagine this dead serious. argument over the phone. Anyway. I don't think you were lying, but you're definitely not truth, then.

I ain't saying you a truth, though. Yeah, totally. Oh, I remember what the end of the story was. Oh, what? So she gave me this new food to help Max gain weight, like a calteen bar. And it's like, I give him a full cup of it, like, but at half and half. And she kept saying every kibble counts, which is like haunting my subconscious. Giving every kiss begins with k.

Every kiss begins with K We've touched on that before I don't know if we have I personally One Touch is all it takes I personally have said one touch Beards with K this week Because of some other jewelry company

That had 10 commercials And one commercial break somehow But it was started with a J What's suck about moving to L.A Like never ever ever before What I have thought Ketamine Oh my God

But now that's like where my head goes No Well because every kiss every kiss begins with ketamine, horse tranquilizer. That was a TikTok sound. I've never heard that. Oh, I have it right.

I'll pull it right up. Don't even worry about it. No, I believe you. I got to finish this story about my dog. Sorry. And then I'll be right there. Okay, I'm not going to say a word. Okay, and then we'll go back to ketamine.

But you remember he went to Jared. Let's also touch on Jared. Let's touch on Jared a little bit. Okay, so she gives me this new food. So this morning, I'm getting ready to leave to go to the Good Guys podcast. And I know Max's schedule with his BMs. We do one poop in the morning.

We do one poop in the evening. And they're substantial. I'm not worried about it. I bring one bag with me because I don't have like a cool way to hold my bags on my leash. They either hit my hand all the time if he's running in the little carrier. I don't want him tied onto the leash because it looks trashy. I don't want them in my pockets because then I'll always have a jacket with a bag in it. You know, like every one of my piece of clothing has like a bag in it.

So I bring one. When I go out the door, grab one, bring it. And walking him through this neighborhood, he takes a fat dump, like a huge dump. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to, I got it. Great, let's go. Not even two houses later. Dump two has hit the tower. And a second dump has entered the chat.

And it's a substantial dump. I have nothing on my person besides my Seth Myers, late night with Seth Myers canvas tote bag. That was holding all of my stuff. And I'm looking at six ring cameras on this street, nice houses. I'm like, I have to dump sack, pick up all my belongings in one hand, and then turn my late night with Seth Meyer's canvas tote

inside out and grab this fat steaming dump, which by the way, canvas, very absorbent. So I was immediately, yeah. I had to dump my whole canvas tote. Actually, it gets worse. L.A. has a very interesting way, especially, well, I got probably everywhere. There's no public trash cans. And I couldn't put it this thing.

Yes, there are. Not in neighborhoods, not where I live. There's no public trash cans. Oh. Nothing. So then I had to put it in my car and drive with it to the Dear Media studio. Ew. Yeah

Because in my neighborhood where I live Someone screenshot into the ring camera A picture of this man Who was dumping dog poop into their trash can And put it on flyers and put it everywhere Mine too Poop Bandit Mm-hmm

Mine was a guy who just left Their dog's poop And it said this guy leaves his dog's poops That's my biggest fear I look almost schizophrenic the way Every time he poops in public And I don't have a bag I'm like

I am coming back I'm coming back because I want them all to know if they check the ring camera that I'm coming back like before I make it back yeah and now I've got all these pictures of dog poop in my camera roll because I need it to pinpoint where I am cross streets so I can go back there but now I've got like I don't delete the photo after it literally start bringing more bags yeah there's definitely a solution yeah it does seem that way can I ask you a question as a dog owner yes when you're picking up the poop with that bag go on feel like your hands are disgusting after or do you feel protected by the barrier of the bag? No. That small film of plastic?

No, I go home and scrub. Yeah. Yes. You feel protected, Ryan? Yeah, I have a smaller dog, though, but yeah, I feel protected. I got to wash. Like, scientifically, can it get through the back? I don't.

Not if there's not a hole. Not if you're not carrying it. I don't know. It feels so thin. Like, I feel good picking it up with the canvas tote. I feel like my head. My hands are clean. No,

let me tell you they would not be. Because it seeps? It seeps immediately, if not sooner. Okay. Oh, it was... I'm bad about the Seth Meyer's toe, he didn't deserve that. No,

Rip. Yeah. That's, it's so sad. And it was humiliating. There were people on walks. I'm on my knees. Were they walking their dog?

Yeah. Why did you ask somebody for a trash bag? Yeah. I mean, like, hindsight. 50-50. Yep. you're just going to start bringing more bags Yeah, I mean solutions

Yeah There's always Did I want to complain or did I want a solution? I don't know But yeah, there's definitely a solution Yeah Oh, and then today Speaking of washing your hands

The maid came and she's at my house And she said, I'm gonna leave it looking brand new Oh, that's really sweet I'm so excited There's nothing like me Here's, you would do this too, I feel like You know how like you always like Like oh I had all my clean laundry

on my couch and I was like almost said to her don't worry about that like I'll just do it when I get out to the person that's there that I'm paying to clean oh I would have done that too I was like no don't worry about that she goes no no no I'll do it I was like thank you seriously so much for like calling my bluff like I couldn't I would never have done yeah yeah that's tough oh my god like that was just like in my chest gutterill I was like do not do not say that she doesn't have to worry about that I want to be nice and it was also embarrassed

that it wasn't put away right but like why am I clean for the maid to come. Yeah, I mean, I think you're supposed to. I mean, I'm not clean a bit. Yeah, there's not Seth Myers, yeah, there's not, Seth Myers, there's toebags everywhere for the do-do, but I'm, it's like, it's like relatively clean.

The part that I really wanted her help on was the dust that seems to be everywhere, everything all at once, and the floors, which, and the floorboards. I'm just moving. Yeah. Because it's easier at this point.

Man, I bet. Mm-hmm. Mm-mm-mm. My car's still on the show. That was in the treasure chest. I will have moved by summer. Oh, well, you are moving, though. Yeah, it's not summer yet.

Yeah. Should we do some of these things that people DM does? I have a lot of hot takes. Okay, so we had everyone DM us some hot takes. How was this episode going, by the way? Like, I have no idea because it's so late in the day that I don't have a grasp on how episodes go when it's not morning time. It's good. We still haven't introed the episode.

Oh, my God. Welcome back to Brooke and Connor. What's what on? Welcome on. Welcome back. So happy to have you all. Wush. So we asked you guys to send in hot takes as well as confessionals and secrets and stuff. I just want to say I'm really looking forward to your hot takes. The confessionals and secrets, again, I want to encourage you guys not to send in crimes that you've committed that I feel guilty knowing. It feels dirty. Two. What kind of crimes were you getting? Like ones that you could go to jail for. Really? Yeah. Even after the fact. Murder? No. No, no one killed anyone. I didn't. Money laundering? Stealing and, yeah, theft and, and, like, I'll tell you off-line.

Okay. It's funny to me. Like, I don't, like, hate listening to it. It's just not fit for our podcast because I don't want to, like, shoot us in the foot. Yeah, in that way. Totally. I don't want to shoot us in the foot if you've shot someone in the foot, and I know now.

Yeah. Okay, are you ready? Yeah. If someone tells me they like Shrek, I am. immediately get the ick. Uno reverse. Right. That gives me the it.

What do you think you're better than Shrek? Yeah. If someone on their like hinge profile was like, I do not like Shrek, that would be enough to swipe left. Well, because that says a lot about someone. Yeah. No, it really does. You can't let your hair down and enjoy something by Cameron Diaz and Mike Myers.

There's the door. Your favorite type of art definitely says something about you. There's nothing wrong with the storyline. There's nothing wrong with it. There's nothing wrong. It has no flaws. Oh, I mean, no, no. Also, just let your hair down.

Maybe. Okay, let's like, Brooke, let's do this. Let's hear this person out. Has this person seen the movie? Are they not willing to give it a chance? That's another good question. Right. I mean, the thing that's hard about these things is we can't ask for more information.

A lot of people sent their numbers for their crimes they committed. And I was like, I really, we can't. Oh. But, like, if you haven't seen Shrek, I kind of get, I kind of understand. And like not wanting to go back and watch like an old movie with weird graphics. Like that's and like strange audio and stuff. I don't understand. Old movies are fun.

I know. I could just. It's crazy that that's considered old. It's really, it's ancient now. When I saw it the other day, I was thinking that the graphics were really good. Oh. They're not. They have not seemed dated at all.

It's like a very fringe level good graphics movie. Like I think they were almost, I think like right after that they got there. But I don't think it would be the same if I had seen it and it was great graphics. I'd be like, this is making me uncomfortable, almost uncanny valley. Shrek as a man looks like someone that just got famous. You know when he becomes a human? Do you know what I'm talking about? Is he?

I just saw this as a tweet and I was like, that's uncanny. Yeah. I don't know if I know what you. Kind of looks like Kenny. Oh my God, it does. With hair. Oh my God, that does kind of look like Kenny. Oh my God, it kind of does.

kind of but like that's just regular Shrek as oh that is regular Shrek as a human not human Shrek yeah oh my gosh it totally looks like Kenny Kenny four months ago

yeah that is really kind of alarming now that you've said that I know he looks like someone else too it's kind of like one of those when you look at someone and you have to turn or like actually find what you were thinking right at first oh I can't figure it out but it's someone that just got famous like right now like a real person

just got into the the zeitgeist of fame, yeah. Matt Reif? No. They both have kind of like square heads. Yeah, Matt Wright does have a square head. Yeah. Well, we can, maybe people will...

We can come back. Yeah, maybe someone will say something. That's always fascinating when someone looks like a character. It's almost like the prophecy has been foretold. Do people tell you you look like a character, a cartoon? Any of them? None come to mind, but yeah. Oh, I get...

Oh, the backyard again's... the purple guy on the backyard again's really yeah I think his name's Pablo Pablo no yeah I get that a lot I mean I just don't see it oh you look like that guy

you know that cartoon that you know that remember it's like old from a few years ago when I sent it to you and I was like it kind of looks like you and then also other people did too what was that I have a picture of it in my phone do you remember that

I do but I'm like not able to Twitter. Is it the guy with the spinny hat? Is it? I'm kind of completely forgetting. Anyway, I get told I look like DW and the fish, girl fish from shark tails.

Oh, that one. Is it that one? Kaiu? No, not at all. Okay, cool. Not at all. I got Kai Yu a lot for a second. Not at all.

It's a one-off. DW from, um... Yeah, Arthur. Arthur. And the girl... Yeah, you do kind of look like the w-O. from shark tails, not the hot one. Can't picture anyone from shark tails.

That girl. That's a boy. Oh, no, so not him. There's two girlfish. There's a really hot girl fish, which is not the one I look like. Oh, I could kind of see it. Oh, I think, yeah, I think so.

I could kind of see that. Yeah, she kind of looks more like my mom. She does. Oh, my God. She does look like your mom. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, gorgeous. Sweet. Yeah. All right.

Well, I encourage you if you haven't seen track. Just like give it a shot. Maybe have some drinks. Make it a fun experience. Reduce your harm. Let your hair down. Let your hair down. Shake it off.

Okay. This next one is actually a very large debate on book talk. So I'm curious to hear you're saying you read a book when you listen to an audio book is wrong. You listen to it. You're cutting hairs, but I kind of agree. I think it's harder to read a book than listen to it. Yes. And I think that definitely.

I think it's kind of like if what did you drive a marathon like I go back and forth for me personally I can't do audiobooks I think where I would get or I would have a hard time and where my OCD would come into play is that if I did an audio book I would feel really weird about logging it on good reads which of course a lot of people do that and as they should like I do think it's just as valid to do an audio book as a regular book but just for me personally I would have a really hard time doing that. Morally? Yeah, for just like my brain. Yeah, I think seeing and hearing

are two different experiences. Like, I wouldn't log the new Vampire Weekend album in my Goodreads. Interesting take. Well, you know that could be solved if we came up with all in one app that I've pitched.

I agree. And the ideas out there. You better verbal trademark that shit because it's going to come out You're going to be so mad. It's not a real thing. You need to talk to some developers in a big way. If any developers are listening to this episode, reach out to Brooke.

She's available and et cetera. Like need I go on? Yeah. But do you agree with this person that if a person listened to an audiobook that when talking about the book, they should specify? Like, I listen to this instead of I read this. I mean, who gives this shit? But if you... It's just in theory.

If you ask them, you read the book and they go, yeah. And then the person that you're, it would be me being like, did you read the book? You know, like I want to hear you say, no, I listen to it. You know, because you didn't read it. Reading's hard. Trust me, reading's hard. And turning a page is hard. I can listen to stuff all day.

I listen to podcasts all day at home. You know? I do think like, surely this is just like a fact that reading requires more energy. And discipline. I can't turn a page to save my god damn life. I fall asleep when I open a book, when I smell that page, first page. But I also, like, in fairness, like, I can't listen to audiobooks. Like, I would like to sometimes, but I can't.

I need the words on the page. Yeah. Like, it's almost, it gets too confusing as an audiobook. So I guess that's a skill on its own, right? I just think we can just cut it down to it. I think it's easier to listen than read something. Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

Yeah. Okay. If you're without distractions, because you could also be on your phone while you're listening to an audio book, me. Okay. Ready for the next one? Yeah. There's something strange about people who love fireworks. I agree to you. 100%. I hate fireworks.

They're loud. There's crowds. They're objectively unpleasant. It's a complete sensory overload. It's like a shiny wars. I do kind of like I'm at Disney though Because that's a show No I need like I kind of like it as like

Oh there's something that's gonna happen at the end of the night Like on 4th July it's nice to go somewhere And everyone's like sitting in one place You kind of like it's kind of like touching base During a tag game It's like I'm on base And between like you know you're out You're doing whatever and then there's fire

Even New Year's Eve fireworks You know that kind of thing That's nice I want them to be silent Mm-hmm. Silent fireworks, I could wrap my head around. I could watch it on the TV, too. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. I just always know that when people say, like, if it's Fourth of July or New Year's, like, oh, fireworks are soon, I don't look forward to that. My gut reaction is, ugh. Yeah. Oh, my God. And I think that's telling. I hate noises, though.

Me too. Yeah. I'm really noise sensitive. I don't even, I don't like when someone uses the hand dryer in a bathroom. You're wearing pants. Use them. pants are so quiet okay

pants never seem to make a peep okay I can understand why someone would want to use the dryer instead of their pants not to play devil's advocate so unsanitary to use that hand dryer I don't agree

look it up it's way more sanitary is it blowing germs onto you it's blowing around the air particles that are in a pooper yeah it's not sanitary your inches away from a stall where a guy's just experienced

it's a cold light air dryer's blowing the poop particles everywhere? There's so much on it. Do you know that if you smell something bad, that means that there is a particle of it in your nose? The hand dryer is probably better for the planet, but if it's a choice between paper towels and shaking dry,

then pick up the paper. Wet hands are like a public bus for bad bacteria. Germs and pathogens happily ride along. Germs and pathogens are using public transport. Okay. I can get on board. I always forget about germs. In public bathrooms in general, I don't love.

You don't you don't FW public bathrooms. Not really, but like the thing is like beggars can't be choosers. So I go in public bathrooms all the time. Yeah. Because I have no choice. So I'm like used to them now, but I definitely am like kind of curling up into my own body. I love germs. Like I love the idea of germs.

I know they're bad. But like I kind of love the idea that they're everywhere and they're alive. When you think of a germ, do you just picture the mucinx guy? Like a little green. and purple goblin, yeah. I picture the mucinx guy. And they're all over our hands. Always.

Partying. Yeah. That is so cute to me. Okay. That's a good outlook. Nice way to look. Yeah, I'm kind of putting a positive spin on germs. No one else is doing it like me.

Okay, you ready? Yeah. For the next one? If you're scared of needles, you're a little baby. I recently got scared of needles. And I, like, I wish I wasn't. but there's something about the sensation of something going into your skin.

It's like a little miniature staff. Yeah. Like this person is wrong because that's not of course people are going to be scared of that. First of all, it hurts. Second of all, that's not natural for a incredibly sharp

vestibule. Yeah. Thank you. To be digging into your body like that. That's just for vestibules. Also, if you multiply a needle times 100, that's a knife. Sure, yeah.

Do you have a knife going to go into your own? And there's also the, like, queasiness factor of looking at it and also knowing, being aware of what's happening. Yeah, if you poke me with a needle at a, I almost said, if you poke me in a needle at a music festival and I don't know. Right, exactly. A horrible example, I think. Well, like, I wouldn't, like, I'm just saying I wouldn't know. Right.

Or I'd be like, ooh. Oh, yeah. But I would be like, I'm so scared. What happened? No, I would probably be so scared. Like, getting my blood drawn. It's a bad example. Like, doesn't.

It doesn't feel good, but like I'm not scared of the pain. It's when I start thinking about what's happening is when I start to go down. I got an IV drip in Nashville on Sunday before I left. And they put magnesium in it. And they go just so you know, like you're going to feel the magnesium go in. It was already, like the thing had already been in my arm for a while. You don't feel it at all, you know. They put the magnesium in.

Oh, my. me how don't know brook it was like i imagine like it feels like a heroin when they when they put it in there about like it literally you felt it going and then you just got so like you felt the warmness like go through all your veins i would throw up and pass out no it was just like it was crazy and then she goes it's going to feel like you're peeing your pants you're not isn't that weird yeah and it wasn't i wasn't but i was brook it felt like you were trodinger's piss yeah it was crazy it felt so good i was like do it again.

Ooh. Okay, next one. Yeah. Bohemian Rhapsody is quite possibly the most annoying song ever written. I go back and forth. I go back and forth on that. How many drinks have you had?

Let's say none. Oh, yeah, that's an horrible tongue. Oh my God, I think that's like a crazy take. I think if you are in a great mood, say you've got a great phone call, an email, your wife's pregnant, you just got engaged, Like that's when that song is like, this is the best song ever written. If you just get fired and Bohemian Rhapsody comes on, you punch a hole through your radio.

Well, that's not what, that's not what you, how you qualify a good song. It's like you can't just like base it off of the mood that you're in. She's saying in general it's the most annoying song, which is wrong. Okay. So you're speaking about it generally. Well, it's a high, like I wouldn't put that on to rest in the bath, you know. I'm not talking about situational. I'm not talking about my situation.

I'm talking about in general. Overall. Yeah. Well, I don't know how you judge a song without it being based on a mood that you're in. Don't you like boom-paw? Didn't you say? I like boom-boom-pow. I do think boom-o-vow as an annoying song, though.

Like there are songs that I love that I'm just like not in the mood to listen to you right now. It doesn't mean I don't love it or like it. I don't think it's the most annoying song in the world. Yeah. I don't think it is. I think it's like objectively one of the most brilliant pieces of its time. Of its time. It's never been done.

nothing was done like that before that. Don't stop believing. They didn't even put it on the radio. Don't stop believing is one of, yeah, because probably like, it was annoying, but guess what? They did.

It always reminds me of the Christian camp I went to, Camp Ozark. I literally thought it was a song that was written by God. The Human Rapids? Yeah. They used to do a skit to it. And they would all sing

and everyone would pop up for the different, like, in the choir, let them go! They would be three people and they'd pop up. It was just like, fascinating to watch.

So that's what I always think of. So I have a soft spot in it for for that reason but like I think don't stop believing by journey is one of the most annoying songs ever made in history but do you think that would be the case if it didn't become what it's become like if every now and then I heard it no I think you're right you know like it's annoying because what people have done with it well it's become this like yeah you're right it like everyone sing along I'm like no right and they play it at like weddings and like everyone that I hate gets up yeah and then at a baseball game everyone knows it

It's like, you need to stop. Like, I, Journey, I don't think Journey would love the way that the song, the direction that the song has gone in. You're right. I'm sure they're loving the royalties that come in every, that's very true. This one is sweet because, as you know, I asked for hot takes. And this person said, Brooke is actually so beautiful. Flagging that we are doing hot takes right now. So that's, yay.

Brose actually so beautiful randomly. Thank you. Hot take. So that was sweet. That is so sweet of them. Which, yes. So thank you. Okay.

Let's normalize asking people why they are missing limbs. Hey, where'd your leg go? Thoughts? Uh, no. Agree. Yeah. I do think if I was missing a limb, I would rather someone just ask me than stare.

But probably in general. This is also speaking people with, all their limbs and vestibules. But would you rather someone stare or not look at it intentionally? Right. So honestly, like maybe asking is just like... Interesting. Maybe that's the move.

Well, we can't speak... Not looking, you know it's... No, I'm just thinking if I... We're without limb. But also, I've never been without a limb, so I don't... I wouldn't really know. But it's probably annoying when people are, like, actively trying to not look. Because you know that's like they're intentionally.

doing that. And also when they look, that's also probably annoying. When they ask, it's probably annoying too. But it just would all suck. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how I feel about that one. Hey. Okay, let me do it.

What happened to your arm? Maybe I would just rather that unless I didn't want to talk about it. Yeah. Right. Okay. Yeah. It was traumatic. I was like, oh, I got in a car wreck. They took my arm off. Cool. Yeah. you want a drink can i get you a drink do you want to yeah you can get me a drink okay cool i'll be right

back with your drink i'll hand it to you to your good arm thank you okay this one is interesting celebrity crushes while in a committed relationship is a red flag yawn wow tell me you need to break up with your significant other without telling me you can do what that's like in just an insecure situation. You shouldn't you should be able to have crushes on celebrities. Oh, I feel like if my I don't, I'd like to think that I would not have these very intense celebrity crushes. Well, intense like, yeah, that's not good. That's like, but that's like also like a seeking help situation more than like I'm going to cheat on my spouse. I think saying to your spouse when I met you, I lost feelings for like, I don't think anyone else is attractive now. That should be a red. flag because they're lying or it's unhealthy yeah that's not the question though what is it having a celebrity crush while you're in a relationship yeah celebrity crush as a red flag i don't think i don't agree yeah i don't agree yeah but i think like maybe like extreme ones that's where i'm losing you every time you say that what do you mean extreme cases of a celebrity crush like having a shrine

yeah yeah that's not okay just regardless well i'm even thinking like me I would hope that I would not have the feelings that I have about celebrities. I bet they would be dampened. Someone tweeted, it reminds you of this tweet. Someone running the Taylor Swift extreme fan account was like, hey guys, sorry I haven't posted a ton recently. I got laid and I'm kind of over this. Yeah.

It's a good example of like, I think that like, you're like, oh, whoa. Yeah. Well, do you have any? Thoughts? I gave mine really intensely. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I have a lot of these. Again, they're not great.

It's fine. But everyone tried. And I think I just need to be, when I ask for something broad like this, I think I need to go less broad and give examples of ones that, like I think cats, drama Thursdays would be good for us to get. Right. Yeah. My professor was my advisor, friend, and mentor. And then I found her husband on Grindr. That was a good one.

There was no question. what do I do? I'm assuming because it came in as a secret, this person did not tell their professor, advisor, and mentor. Damn. So that's a secret you hold. You would hold that.

But also, like, who's to say, who's to say the professor doesn't know? I mean, it's just not, it's, you just don't get involved. I think it's, that's just something you leave. That's not your, that's not your place. You certainly don't want to out her, this person,

as a husband. It may not be a hurry. It might be in an open relationship. It might be two gay dudes in an open relationship. I don't know. That'd be a good one for more context. Would love more context. Yeah.

I'm 26 and still suck my thumb. That's tough. Thoughts? They need that thing that I've talked about. Which one? The blockade that I wanted so bad when I was younger. The kids that suck their thumb had that like expander that has that like thing that thing that comes down so you can't take your thumb in.

What an interesting Google search. What a little. What did she search? Mouthgate. Yeah. Yeah. I would invest in one of those, surely, or have that disgusting nail polish. Oh my God, I would love.

I'm actually sure she's tried everything. I would love to see what your teeth look like. There was like a period when I was like eight or nine or something because I never sucked my thumb. Yeah. When I was like, I'm going to start sucking my thumb now for attention. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I get that.

And it never stuck. It just wasn't a natural fit. Yeah, it wasn't a natural fit. Yeah. Yeah. I bite my fingers and I'm like, I'm only a couple degrees away from putting my thumb in my mouth. Like I have no interest in sucking my thumb. But like I'm like this all day.

Right. Yeah. Who are we to judge? I'm not judging. I'm saying just like wash your hands, I guess. There's nothing. I mean, your teeth are probably going to be, if they're not already, completely misaligned and the germs of it. But I guess it's no different.

Whatever. Yeah. No. Put your whole hand in there. Okay. Ooh, that was a good one, but we already talked about it. I taught my dog how to run away after he shit so I don't have to clean it up. I mean, like, morally, that's probably.

That's a tough one. That's a tough one. Not like wrong, probably, yeah. I throw away some of my roommate's souvenir cups from sporting events because she's a bitch. Tough. Okay, so I used to do this in college. Throw away your roommate stuff. It wasn't souvenir cups, but every time we'd go to a restaurant, they would get the takeaway plastic cup.

And I'm so OCD and I bought all of the dishware that all matched. And we had see-through glass cabinets in our kitchen. And they kept bringing home like Taco Tuesday cups with like cartoons all over them. And I was like, we're adults. Granted it did not matter at all. But I would just like recycle them into the trash. We had enough cups. It's not like we needed more cops.

I think it's wrong if they're collectors because I have nothing with the utmost respect for collectors and the things that they collect. Yeah. So if there was like a full collection going on, that like seems awful to me to tamper with the collection. But if it was just like them like hoarding, fine, toss it. Yeah. Did you ever collect anything? Yeah.

Oh, we've talked about that. I think rocks, et cetera. Rocks. I still collect rocks. I have a rock bowl on my dining room table. I used to collect pencils. Wooden? Wooden pencils?

I think colored pencils Canical pencils I was like two I was addicted to pencils But you could just like Goodbye a pack I don't know what I don't know what happened really

I have no memory of it It's so interesting Yeah I love the smell of pencils Also I love the paste of pencils Chew those sheds up What Chewem to bits

Oh I never chewed my pencils Wow I could chew on the eraser I could chew on the metal thing That held the eraser to the wood I believe it I chewed right through it Like a horny beaver Yeah I believe that

Okay Oh my god, wow, I started reading two in a row that we're not connected and I was like, how did you get from there there to there? Okay, sorry. I'm adopted, but I know my biological mom. Fast forward 18 years. My best friend in college loses her virginity to this guy who we both learn after is, in fact, my biological second cousin and he has no idea I exist. Well, you know, I've always spoken about how second cousins really have no blood relation. Right. So I want to raise this question that I saw the other. day on a different podcast. I don't know whose podcast it was. It was a TikTok. Should incest be allowed for gay dudes? I can't get into it. Answer the question. I don't know. I don't I'm I don't this is just like not my it's not my fight because incest is illegal because of offspring right like because you're you would transfer dangerous DNA it would compromise your DNA in a way that would affect Your offspring. I would like to know what the experts have to say.

I love listening to experts. Brooke, we are the experts. I don't think we are the experts in this. Brooke, we are right now. Because someone else, and then someone else raises the question, no,

it shouldn't be allowed. Should, like, a woman who's on the pill be allowed to commit incest? And everyone was like, my thing is that, like, I would have felt comfortable just being, like, incest is bad. But now I don't,

now I never know, like, what's bad. So I'm, like, scared to say anything is bad because I feel like am I being judgmental? No, I don't think you should fuck your sister or your brother. Okay, that's fine to say. Yeah. Then yeah. I'm going to go.

I'm pro-anti incest. I'm just going to put that on record. Okay. You're on record. Whoa, I'm anti-incest. I could just say. Okay, cool. I can't go on record saying.

I'm not going to go on record. Wow. Keep it. Plan it safe. Okay, I'm comfortable saying I'm anti-incest. Okay. my first crush was the president on the $10 bill Oh I love that

Yeah let's For those who is that by the way Connor Let's tell us Connor And I'm just gonna Asi for those who don't know who would that be I know I do know I genuinely do no I'm not even fucking with you I do know Andrew Jackson

Alexander Hamilton is what I meant to say Same thing And I knew I did know that because of Hamilton Yep He's a Oh no that's the whole whole point. Hamilton was a smoke. Well, then why was Lynn, well, Moran?

You know, that is, I obviously love Lynn. I think he's an attractive guy, but that is like a discussion of like why Lynn cast himself as Hamilton, especially because, you know, his voice is, you can carry a tune, but it's definitely not like the strongest. So it's part of the discussion as well.

But yeah, Hamilton was like a horror. Well, as he should be. Did you see his face? No, I know. He's really hot. That's my president. Mm-hmm. And he was maybe by. He had something going on with a guy.

Was it his brother? No, it was John Lawrence, I want to say. Okay, let's be honest here. Was he the picture on the right? We'll never know. That picture? Or was he the picture on the left? And that's an important distinction.

All the correspondence that have been found and like all the information that's known, he was hot. Very interesting. In different words. He was a looker. Yeah. but yeah someone wrote in

said I'm still embarrassed about being kicked out of Connor's Portland show love y'all oh that's her it's nice to get that off your shoulders I don't give a shit so you're good that's nice to hear yeah not worried about it at all

I'm sure someone in the crowd wants to fight you though a bunch of people wrote in sorry this is not I'm not egging this on at all but like genuinely we had 15 people say I love having threesomes Or I had a threesome last night, or threesomes are great.

So pop off. Pop off. This is the challengers era. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what it is. The culture, man, is crazy. I stole $200 from my middle school fundraiser and I'm still scared.

They'll find out. I'm 24. Valid. I just remembered something bad I did. What did you do? I can't say. But I get, now I get that. I understand feeling that way, but you're good.

I don't know. Maybe give it back. It's not too late. Maybe give it back Broad City style. Yeah, donate it to something to your school or do a teacher's fund. Whatever the funer is for. Yeah, good idea, Brooke. Yeah.

You're always thinking. Thanks. I was just thinking like, justice is a dish best served cold and it's frozen right now for you. Yeah. I think that's how that saying goes. I think so. No, revenge. Oh.

Revenge is a dish best served. Is it cold? Cold? Yeah. Oh, I want revenge immediately. I think I need my pipey. What does that even mean, though? What are the...

Oh, Brooke, you got it exactly correct. Vengeance is often more satisfying if it is not exacted immediately. Oh, yeah. Oh, so don't act on emotion. Is that what this person is saying? Yeah, I guess I like that. Oh, well, we could learn a lot from that. You okay?

Oh, I threw up in my mouth. I saw that. It could have had something to do with the green juice. Oh, I drank it pretty fast. Well, my eyes are watering now. And the contents of it. Oh. My stepdad is dying.

He's the worst for valid reasons and I'm happy about it. Sorry, say that again. Her stepdad's dying and she's happy about it. We'll end on a happy one. I'm a millennial woman who's attracted to Jin Z men. What's your cap age gap? Me or you? Going younger.

That's a good question. That's a good question. Like you could, Brooke, if you can't even you're like, I met someone, he's 19. I don't think I could continue on having the dynamic that we have now. No, I know. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, think I would not do that. I would be. I think she's asking the other way around.

I agree. She's asking for you. Your cap of like how old. Oh, she's asking for cap age gap. So like how far in front or behind? Like how far, I guess it'd be good to ask both directions. I would say if I'm like, in love I could do 25.

Yeah, I was going to say 25 for me too. And that would be a straight. Honestly, like patriarchy, like you could go younger. I have nothing to talk about with someone who is 21 through 25 even. Like, I don't even know. 25 is fine. 25. Ideally not, though.

Ideally older. Yeah. I would say cap. Cap. Give me a cap. That's tough. Because what's interesting is like all of my, like, all of these like celebrity questions I love are like 40s, but I would never in a million years, like date a 40 year old.

What? No, I would date them. Oh, yeah. But not a real person. I think you would. I think you would. I think you would. I think you would.

I think if like you would. 35. 35. 35 is not that old. It's not old. 39? 39 feels older than 40. 38? I mean, it's really, it's case by case.

Right. Well, if you found like somebody really good and they were 40, Yeah, if Matthew Gagubler comes up to me and is like, I want to marry you at my wedding's tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that would be so fun. Yeah, it would be awesome. That would be such a fun way.

And he's in his 40s. Yeah, sure. So 40s, I guess. But then I could, then I start to go, okay, Paul Rudd. If Paul Rudd came up to me and asked to marry me. Paul Rudd, yeah. He's 50. So it's like, where do you draw the line?

Larry David doesn't know? No, I would marry Larry David. I saw Larry David and my panties begin to draw. But those are just like such specific. examples that do not apply to real life. Larry David, 74. Yeah, I would marry him happily and willingly and quickly. So we have as much time as possible.

I would too. I know. I would be, oh my God, Larry David. Would you object at our wedding? No, Larry David would be Zendan. Me and you would be those boys. That's so good. He'd make his play tennis and he'd sit in the stands.

That is so good. Yeah. Oh my gosh, he would hate us, Brooke. Oh my God, he would hate us. I was listening to him talk

the other day and I could just be like, oh my God, we would be the fucking his worst nightmare actually. Why if I ever see him or anything, I'm not saying hi.

I'm not, I'm not gonna approach him. I would never approach him. No, it would be rude. I tip my cap to him, but not say word. Yeah.

Anyways, all right, we gotta go to the bonus. We did another long episode. Wow. The beginning was so confusing to me. I felt like I wasn't even on my own podcast.

I think because, You were thrown off by the afternoon. By the aftershock. By the afterwave. Okay. Well, we'll see you in the bonus. Bye, guys. This week, I'm close friends.

Of course you're going to get a wedgy on the Humonga Cowbunga Water Slide. What did you think was going to happen? Exactly. I love being sweet too, because I have a kind heart. That felt like you were implying I don't. Are you projecting? Maybe. Honestly, like, this is when you start becoming your parents because you're like, oh.

I get it and I'm sorry. And I'm scared I'm going to get myself in trouble if I keep talking. Yeah, I think you might. I think I might too. Sign up on TMG Studios.tv to watch a full bonus episode.