Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - The Truth About Instagram Threads

Episode Date: July 14, 2023

MERCH: http://bncmerch.com  Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://tmgstudios.tv  This week, we are pencil diving straight into it starting with the unveiling of Larry David’s bust, breaking down Colleen’s apology video, and how they would recast the new Wonka movie. Plus, Connor has a very important update re: his new doctor and Brooke shares what she really thinks about Instagram Threads.  Highlights Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/BrookeAndConnorHighlights  Email us at [e-mail] !! If you listen on Apple Podcasts, go to: https://apple.co/bandc This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/BANDC and get on your way to being your best self. Go to https://TakeCareOf.com and enter code bandc50 for 50% off your first order. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/BANDC to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code BANDC. Go to https://Zocdoc.com/BANDC and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. 0:00 So Much To Cover  0:40 Intro  1:12 We’re Pencil Diving In 4:55 The Big Surprise… 5:56 Larry’s Bust! 7:28 Uncovering Larry David’s Past 9:48 Dry Heat and Wet Ribs 11:40 BetterHelp 13:50 Brooke’s Fourth of July Party 15:50 Being A Tourist In LA 17:45 LA’s Hottest Spot 19:23 Brooke’s Emotional Support Chicken 21:18 A Humbling Knitting Experience 25:05 Care/Of  27:13 Connor’s Medical Journey 29:33 Connor’s Netflix Special  34:41 Unlocking New Characters 35:55 Salt Is Yummy 37:26 Terrible Drivers 39:38 Squarespace 41:07 Connor’s Private Taylor Swift Concert 44:45 Have You Ever Had A Dream… 46:13 Falling In Love Via Dreams 48:57 The FBI’s Speak Now  50:25 Brooke’s Full Circle Dream 51:38 Gleeking On Strangers 53:43 The Truth Behind Instagram Threads  59:19 Twitter vs Threads 1:01:48 ZocDoc 1:03:42 Jonah Hill Is A Loser  1:05:25 Colleen Is Sinister 1:10:17 Recasting Wonka 1:14:58 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know, you might not have this experience, but like if you ever freak out about that there are so many books that you want to read. I don't have that. Yeah. So maybe let's say TV shows. There are so many TV shows that you need to watch. And it stresses you out that you will just simply never be able to watch all the TV in the world. Yep. I'm having that with like I have.

And I have so much to say. But it's stressing me out because I know I'm not going to be able to say it all because I'm either going to forget or just run out of time. So now I'm just like not going to say anything at all. Today? The same way I'm just like not going to read any book. You're talking about to our conversation is how we're about to dive into head first. Today? Head first.

Head first. So much to say. So I'm paralyzed. Hey, Brooke. Hi, Connor. Are you ready to MAP? I'm ready to pee. Ignorance is bliss.

I'm living in a world of my own and it's awesome. Oh, I thought I was responsible for 9-11 when I was five. Where were you? In Pennsylvania. Touch grass, might I suggest. We're just going to. dive right in today. Would you dive into a pool versus like pencil diving? A lot of times I would just pencil dive. We could always say we're going to pencil dive into our conversation today. Well, you know I was

on the swim team. You were. Yeah. So I think I'm more inclined to just do a regular dive. Oh, cool. But that being said, not saying anything negative about a pencil dive. I love a pencil dive. There's a time and a place for a pencil dive. Although I will say I've gotten more injuries pencil diving than regular diving. How could you injure yourself doing a pencil dive? Because I put my toes real sharp. But it wasn't deep enough. So my toes hurt. Yeah.

Oh, Connor, I go so torpedo fast to the bottom of the pool, so deep. Brooke, I'm a sinker. And I hurt my toes. I'm a sinker too. Okay, then how have you not hurt your toes if you're a sinker? Well, I know, like, depth-wise, I have a good sense of depth. If you're truly a sinker, there's no way you could retract your toes in time. Brooke, if I'm jumping.

And also, there's no way you would want to because it's torpedoing you. It sounds like you're jumping in, like, the shallow end of a point. I'm not. And the fact that I've got like, I'm a foot shorter than you and I'm going so fast at the bottom. What are you talking about feet wise? Sorry metric people. Feetwise. What are you pencil diving in where you're hitting?

Either eight to ten? Eight to ten. Eight to ten feet. And you're, and you're on submersible mode just imploding at the bottom of the pool? I'm not always hurting my toes, but I have a lot of times because of how fast I'm going. And because I want to keep my toes pointed the whole time so that I maintain that speed and velocity as well. it sounds like you're a little self-destructive and you want to hit the bottom.

That's what it kind of sounds like. Let's move on. No, because if I'm ever on a mission, if I'm ever on a mish to get to the bottom of something, if I want to touch the bottom or there's a rock down there that I want to take home, excuse me, I am going pencil mode. I'm not going dive mode because I need my head up

so that when my feet hit, I can grasp, gather my bearings, figure out the space that I'm in, recognize that space, and then say, there's that rock. that I want. Okay. Reach down and grab it.

Are you wearing goggles or no? Not a goggle guy. Really? Nah. Why make things harder for yourself? Well, if they come up off my head and then I'm dealing with an entirely different beast underwater. If they come up off your head, then you just go no goggle mode.

Not the end of the world. Then I've got to find my goggles. What if they're nice goggles? Then you can do another dive for the goggles, just like you did for the rock. And why make things harder for myself? I thought you were liking the dives. I am liking the dives. I don't think we're seeing eye to eye.

It seems like one of us dove in and one of us is. is pencil diving and we're just not making eye contact right now. Like a lifeguard test. They throw a brick in the deep water like a real heavy brick, not even like a normal brick. Cinder block. No, it's plastic and it's like really weighted the weight that like a kid would be like 20 something pounds maybe or maybe I'm making that up.

But it's really heavy and you have to dive, regular dive to the bottom and rescue the brick. And it is so hard. And you have to come up with the brick on your chest and like you're swimming on your back. So hard. I'd love to see you. do that. We should take the lifeguard or deep water test together when you have to like tread for five, rescue the brick, etc. Yeah, I'm super down. Okay. We had to do that every year at camp. Yeah.

All of us to get to gain access to the deep water test to no life jacket mode. Yeah. Oh, you were no life jacket mode. We were deep water. Well, no, no, we just like, you had to have a life jacket on constantly unless you pass the swim test. Were you in the lake? We were in like a damned up river. Oh. We're in a damn ass river. I was in a pool. Okay. So you could get your green ribbon if you passed. We had a green ribbon as well. Really? Oh, we've spoken about the girl with the green ribbon on this podcast, right? That horrible story.

Yes. Yeah. Okay. I would rather not relive that experience. That's fair. If that's okay with you today. Completely fair. Should we dive into like material?

Hey guys. Welcome back to Brooke and Connor make a podcast. So I'm seeing we read off of a screen sometimes. Usually we go rogue, but sometimes we look at the screen to kind of get our bearings. It says surprise dot, dot, dot, dot. which is not something that I have access to. The surprise? Yeah.

Am I supposed to know? I know it. Oh. Hello, Professor Borg. Izzy knows it? Yeah. Oh, Lord. We're looking behind us now.

That thing? Yeah. It's covered? Yeah. You want to go do it? I want to do it. You go do it. Okay, I'm going to...

Because my feet are too far from the ground. For audio-only listeners, there's a surprise on set, and I'm making my way towards it. Oh my God, wait. I think I know what it's going to be. Do you want to guess? Is it a bust?

Of you know who? No. Open it. Is it? Open it. All right. Big reveal. Ah, I'm scared.

Shut up. No way. It is the bust of Larry, David. Oh, my gosh. That is exquisite. Okay. That's an exquisite piece. Oh, my God.

Can I bring it? Can I bring it over here? Wow. His glasses is kind of all. Oh, my God. David, that is God mode. Oh my God. Okay, for audio-only listeners,

it gets the background. When Brooke and I were kind of ideating what we'd love to have around us on... When we were what? When we were ideating. Great word. Ideating what we wanted to have around us in our new zone here.

We said like it'd be really cool to have a bus because it fits and then who would we get a bus stuff and we both kind of at the unanimously kind of said Larry David. Because that's so special because that's really the only thing we have in common. His glasses are on the ground.

Oh my God, Connor, please go get his glasses. He can't see. Oh, Larry. Oh, those are gorgeous. That's so Larry, though, to drop his glasses. 100%. Wow. Put those back.

Oh, my God, they're perfect, too. Oh, my God. Izzy, thank you. Where did you guys get your hands on a bust of Larry David? I've been working on it for months. Oh, but you are just, I don't know if everyone knows this, but Izzy really is just like one of a kind angel. So is everyone here, but special shout out to Izzy for just kind of doing it all.

Wow. Oh my gosh. I would encourage anyone listening on audio to hop on over to get a visual of Larry's bust. This is really special. I just can't say enough good things about Larry and his bust. Really? Let's move the trinkets for today. I've heard of just put Larry.

Let's put Larry. Did you see that show Larry went on that was like this guy that uncovers all of your ancestry? No. He went on it. We should watch clips in the bonus because he knew nothing about his life. He didn't even know his mom's really. real name. Larry didn't?

Larry. Wow. And this guy was able to share some pretty jarring facts about Larry's past that were a little seedy. Yeah. Yeah. It was really entertaining. We should pull up some clips in the bonus.

I would love to. Let's do it. Okay. Oh, there it is. Larry David stunned by his mother's secret history and real name. Yeah. Oh, it's a sponsored by Ancestry.com. It's an advertisement for Ancestry.com.

I think maybe. They do that for people like celebrities so that non-celebrities will raise their service. Okay. Whoever's running the marketing behind like a piece of like a campaign around content. Yeah. For Ancestry.com featuring Larry DeVeed. Winner. Promotion and they should be able to retire.

Yeah. It was really good. That's fantastic. Oh, Jimmy Kimmel. Wow. He looks so different there. Jimmy Kimmel. Then that was only two days ago.

That's so interesting. Wow. They have like a lot of A-lister's. Yeah. Oh, Bill Hader. Ador him. Why is everyone looking completely different? Sandberg, too.

Yeah. Wow. Wow. Let's, oh. Is it like funny? Have you watched? Yeah. I mean, it's more like funny people and then it gets personable.

So it's like, oh, that's interesting. Oh, so it's like comedians and cars and coffee. I will say, spoiler alert, they found out that, or Larry found out that like some of his ancestors fought for the South in the Civil War. And like, for most people that would be like tough to watch and watch someone learn. but you know Larry kind of is the only person that could kind of make that comedic that's a that's an episode of Kurt it is yeah like him going back to the south it really is wait didn't he do that he thought he was adopted in Kurt yeah and then found out that he wasn't Jewish and changed his entire personality to not be Jewish which is actually like a lot of change yeah to go into that turns out

he was actually not adopted and immediately went back to his roots of complaining and fetching and whatever have you Oh my gosh. Well, that's cool. That's something fun to watch this weekend. Yeah. Let's do it in the bonus. Yeah, let's do it. I'd love to. Me too. Okay, so we haven't been. Thank you. Oh, Izzy and everyone. It's just like exquisite. Amazing. Like the new centerpiece of our household. Love it. Love it. And if anyone's wondering why my jewels are still on this table, these are the ones that Connor couldn't untangle himself. So I gave those to Cash, who films for us. Thank you, Cash for doing that and untangling my jewels. And I, I, like don't have the heart to ever move them because they'll get tangled immediately if not sooner. In my car and my in my fanny pack or whatever

so they'll just be here definitely. Yeah, I think they'll like... Maybe one at a time I'll bring them home on my neck. That's a good... Yeah. Well, we haven't seen each other since before the fourth. So how was your fourth? What have you been up to? Have been missing you?

Missing you too. Really nothing to report. I think I posted every every breath I took on my Instagram. Sorry, when I in Texas. It was a great time. It was so much fun. It was like 115 degrees. Now is that dry heat or a little bit of wet? It's wet. Yeah, it's pretty wet. It was fun though. Like you go out and you're just like sweating and everybody's sweating. It's nice to be around other like just drenched people. Always. When you have active pores like moi. Mm-hmm. And then that's really it. I didn't really, I didn't do a ton. We went out to a ranch and we ate a bunch of barbecue. That looks so divine

because I've never had that. What have you not had? like good like authentic barbecue i mean i've had stuff on a barbecue but not in texas would you call that western barbecue or southern barbecue southern b b bbcue yeah like i've never had that yeah it's i never even think about the fact that we have to like genre or b b b b b b b but there's like argentinian like i love the ribs just looking so wet like falling off the bone they were like so wet oh my god i can't even imagine i'm wet i'm wet thinking about them i can't even imagine i'm wet i can't even I can't even imagine. It was unreal.

I literally only ate like heavy duty meat for about six days, which is insane. And it made me crave it more. The more I ate, the more I needed. That's what happens. I needed barbecue like water. Yeah. It was so good. Do you think that had something to do with the results you got at your doctor's appointment?

I don't know if you want to talk about that. We can do that after you do your fourth of July cap. I mean, I didn't do much either. I went to Palm Springs. It was like, I don't know if you were exaggerating when you. you said it was 115? No, no. It was like 106, but I know y'all's...

It was like 115. But it is dry heat. So that is like, it's not great, but it's okay. Yeah. But if, like, for one second, if you stepped on the ground with bare feet, I've never felt anything like that. 100%. Like blisters.

Yeah. So we were just kind of in the pool for four days. So, you know, that was nice. We were there with some friends. And, you know, if I drink during the day, I'm going to bed at 7.30 p.m. Yeah. Yeah. I can't possibly like make it through the night. But some people on the trip were able to make it through the day drinking and in the night.

So that was frustrating in the sense that I was, you know, cozy tucked in early. And Tristan, our friend Tristan, who, you know, has the energy to keep on going, would come in to the room blasting from the speaker either the Pink Panther theme song. What does that go on? Um, oh my God, why? But um, full volume, okay, while I'm trying to sleep. I was thinking soul boss andova.

No, no, not that one. That one's fun. Or the ants go marching. The ants go marching one by one. Hurrah. Imagine being like woken up out of your like half slumber. Or just like sex sounds on Spotify.

Yeah. So those were the three. I like was not able to sleep the whole weekend due to that behavior. Yeah. So that was real. sweet and then my my dad and my stepmom came to visit yeah um it's nice seeing l.A. through other people's eyes. Sure. Um, so that was a nice aspect of that. Um, it's cool. Like just like walking around like my neighborhood. I don't, I never have realized like how

historic the sunset strip is. You know that little piece. Yeah. It's famous. Yeah. So like every step we took my dad was like beside himself. Like, especially, you know, the Viper Room? Mm-hmm. I had no idea, like, how intensely historic that is. Because to me, I'm just, like, walking by this, like, little, like, bar. They don't keep it up very well. Yeah.

It is definitely in its original state from when, like, Led Zeppelin walked in and peed on the counter. But I had no idea, like, River Phoenix died there, and it's this whole huge thing. And I've been in such a River Phoenix Wikipedia hole. Mm-hmm. That's wild that that just happened right there. And I just walk past it every day and don't bat-knit. But now I'm going to bat an eye Because my dad took about 48 pictures

With it which was sweet That's yeah it's crazy And then like every like Trooper doors right there Tribador Capital Records Whiskey a Gogo Well Capital Records RIP That's now the Supreme store

Which that's that's hard to see Times of change and the Ants go marching The hands go marching They always do one by one They do But it's cool to just like You know see things through fresh eyes I kind of have like a new lease on life

for a bit it'll fade but it's nice while it's lasting yeah right that high every time someone comes to visit me I do the exact same thing because it's like it's I know exactly what people want to do and I have it templatize that's like we're gonna go here for coffee yeah we're gonna go here for lunch and then we're gonna walk around here with another coffee and then you can get out of my house yeah yeah yeah that's kind of you have a good like west side version of that I feel like I have the east side yeah except for the one common thing I feel like you always have to take people to Elifante.

And Elefonte's on my list, too. If someone's saying with me for several days, Elefonte is my like Thursday evening spot. Elefonte, for anyone that doesn't know is in like Santa Monica overlooks. Highly recommend. If you guys come to L.A. If you ever want to see a contestant from the Bachelor,

either current season or past or someone that will be on in the future, go there. Yeah. There's nothing that makes me more humble than going there and being like, okay. It's a nice place to, if you need to go, be invisible. Or me, go. I feel like, okay, no one's going to look at me.

They need to go look at these. Yeah, people are looking at absolute casting calls. Honestly, people are looking at the sunset. It's gorgeous. You need to get, if you can, book in advance and get, if you're going to ever go visit this restaurant, you need to get the sunset room. You need to be, because there's a room in the back,

and it's like, why are you, why would you go? You know, people think that, because there's an episode of curb that's, like, based off of a restaurant where they put, like, hot people in one section and ugly people in the other section, apparently that's based off of Elefonte, and they put the hot people in the sunset room and the ugly people in the back room.

Make sense. Have you ever been in the back room? Never been. Me neither. Wouldn't dare. If I do, I'll say something. I would tumble down the stairs and sue them. Yeah.

But that being said, like, I do reserve the sunset room. So I don't know if that speaks to. Yeah, I don't think bigger parties get set in that back room, honestly. I don't know if that's, oh. Yeah. But it would make sense if they put all the hot people in the sunset room. Yeah, it would. I don't know.

I've seen some fuggos in the sunset room. Yeah. So, who knows? They're not doing a good job. We're not dealing with employee the month over there at the hot versus ugly dealership. Sure. Let me gather myself. I feel like I was about to tell you something else.

Okay. I know, well, we could talk. Can we get like five seconds to regroup? Do you want me to tell you something? Yes. You were going to do the doctor's appointment stuff. I can tell you about my knitting workshop. Yeah.

Why don't you do that? Okay. Yeah, I'll tell you about my knitting workshop. I'm learning how to knit in a month. emotional support chicken over the course of three weeks. That's nice. It's real cool because I wouldn't have known how to knit a chicken without the workshop. Maybe the emotional support is not so much about the destination, but the knitting of the chicken along the way.

Actually, I'm going to me, when you said that, I'm taking this class over the course of three weeks. Kind of sounds like that's the emotional support. And then you're kind of putting, as you would, at Buildabair, the love and the oomph into that chicken that you're knitting along the way. and that's what you'll attribute. I have actual goosebumps. And now you're making me think that I want to get like a little like recorder thing

that they have at Buildabair and put someone's voice in it. What sucks about these recorders is they science has not come far enough to where that recorder is comfy to cuddle with. Oh really? Like we have cameras the size of a of a pinky fingernail but we can't get the Beldebor.

Build a bear recorder things to not be the size of a actual brick and you pull up from the bottom of a pool and the deep water test. Yeah, I haven't seen them since I was at camp And my friend would not stop playing her mother's voice as ever the bunk was trying to rest. Maybe you get like maybe a little heart put in it and then you just put it. Or just like maybe like an heirloom of sorts from all my friends can kind of pitch in and I can put little tiny pieces of things that remind me of my friends.

Maybe the locks of their hair or something in my chicken. That is a step in the right direction. I think closer. I think you're getting warmer but I don't know about having all your friends' hair and your chicken. I think it sounds like a little bit of a time capsule. Yeah, it's really sweet. And there's a lot of, as you would expect, older women at the chicken knitting workshop. And we were going around like saying what level of knitting that we were in terms of beginning intermediate advanced.

And I figured like, sure, like I guess I'm intermediate. I don't think like I'm beginner to me like beginners. Maybe like knowing how to knit a scarf. Sure. You know? So I said intermediate. Turns out I don't think I'm even. like at a beginner.

Like I think I'm, what's before beginner? Novice? Novice Plus. Starter path. I'm working through a burp over here as well like you were earlier. Let me think. What is it called when you, apprentice?

I'm an apprentice. Yeah, maybe you need to ask one of those broads to take you under their wing. Yeah. The girl next to me was like, oh, are you doing German continental? And I was like, okay. Is that knit or?

Excuse me? What did you just call me? Is that knit or pearl queen? I only know knitting and pearling queen. Bless you. Yeah. Yeah. So that was something.

And then the last thing about my knitting club, which is sweet. And I'm worried that people are going to take this as me being insensitive, but it's not. And I'll tell you why. I majored in special ed in addition to early childhood education, which is something you might not know. And the one thing that my professors really wanted to emphasize is that people with special needs are people too. And that means, you know what, they can be annoying too because they're people. So this one girl in the knitting class does have some sort of like developmental delay and she's really sweet. And she also has no legs.

And she was going around asking every single person if she was not a member of the class. She was just knitting side by side. I think she's just like a frequent flyer at the knitting place. And she was asking every single person if she could have their chicken like for free of charge. And she was like, I don't want to make my own. Can I have your chicken? And I was like, babe, no. Like, I'm working really hard on my chicken.

She's like, okay, does it change your mind that I have no legs? And I was like, okay, you know what, Queen? Like, like, good on you. Like, that's a good, like, that's a good move. Like, a good time to pull the no leg hard. But no, you can on my chicken, despite that. So I love her. Where can I say about that?

You don't have to say anything. Just know that, like, that's a character that I'm kind of working with for the next few weeks. And I love her. Like I go back and forth between being like you have to stop and like kind of like admiring how brazen she is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, that's it.

What, do you think I'm going to get canceled? No, no, no. I don't think you're going to. I like feel like I almost had something to say. And sometimes you just kind of kind of got to let that come in and come out. And maybe if I find something later on in the episode, To circle back, do she have a name that we can give her? Yeah, pick one because I don't want to say her real name.

It's call her Olivia. Okay. Yeah. I do really, I think that we could be something, like some sort of partnership. I wouldn't say friends, but like some sort of like alliance. Yeah. Maybe. Well, cool.

I mean. I think she started a chicken actually once no one was willing to give them, her, their chicken. But I think she's moving the crochet route. So I'll keep y'all updated on her crocheted chicken as well as my knit chicken. I have two more classes. I can't, you got to bring the chicken in so we can also.

I will. I will. Well, Olivia, like Godspeed, she sounds like a marketing queen. Yeah, she's fun. Yeah, she seems fun. She's a lot. Yeah. Okay, well, I finally, I feel like everyone's been on this journey, just shifting gears.

this journey with me as I booked so many appointments to get my health in check. I finally got in to this doctor via Zoc Doc. And I went in. I did every test under the sun. I came back with flying colors from everything. Everything. It was amazing. It was a great time.

They did blood tests, urine test. They did all these things. And then they started checking my heart rate. Checked my heart rate again. Checked my heart rate again on three different. And that's the thing where they cuff you and squeeze. They cuffed me. They fingered me.

I'm sorry. They checked my finger for my pulse. Not, come on, y'all. I was expecting them to finger me, honestly, because I thought I was going to have to get, like, my balls fondled and stuff for my physical. I called my dad, and I was like, dad, the doc didn't even fondle my balls. And he was like, what are you talking about? And I was like, in the physical, you get, you cut, turn and cough for me.

My dad's like, I've never had that done. I'm like, I've only ever had that done. Right? Okay. That is a thing that he gave me a fright because I was thinking of the episode of Friends. Yes, where Joey's Taylor. Joey's Taylor is like goes up his leg and they're like, that is not a normal thing. And so my heart dropped to my ass. Yes. And I was like, have I been being taken advantage? Have I been getting my balls fondled by every doctor I've ever had for no reason? And my dad is like, no, I've never had that done. I'm like, what the hell? And then I found out that everybody has that done.

That is normal protocol. Yeah. But also don't, they have to, like, also stick their finger up your butt? That's a colonoscopy? No, that's a huge machine. A machine with a finger that goes up your butt? No, a finger is separate than a colonoscopy. A colonoscopy is a camera that goes and looks at your colon.

I think the finger up your butt is prostate. They didn't do either. I kept my pants on. You kept your pants on the whole time? Yeah. Damn. How would they possibly know if you're... balls and prostate are okay i'm going back in this afternoon so i'm literally going to ask like

are you sure you don't need to touch my balls yeah you're welcome to yeah um i showered um so anyways you know they check your heart rate three times my heart rate's already through the moon because i'm like i haven't been in the doctor in five and a half years up to the moon yeah it was that moon level yeah right through the roof through the roof through the roof but you're good and then to the moon and bag love it to the moon and bag yeah i don't know it was through the moon and when she checked my heart with the first time she's like ooh oh and i was like what second time nurse practitioner checks it finger ooh i'm like the fuck dude don't make any noises just be like this is normal and then she does all the EKG things all over my body the stickies all over and they

attach a bunch of cords to me i looked like a potato that like like you have for too long and starts to run all those things. And then... I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, they check it. And then she goes, okay, and walks out. And I'm... shuts the door and I'm sitting there.

Like, whatever. And then doctor calls me into... You can go in and go to the doctor and he sits me down and he's got all these papers from the tests sitting in there. And I'm like, like, what's going to happen, you know? And he sits me down and he's talking and whatever. and he's like, all right. And I'm just like, fuck.

He gave me the like, all right. Once you have a seat, it felt like I was getting in trouble the principles that they found weed in my locker or something. I'm like, oh, fuck, okay. He's like, first of all, your test came in. I'm like, come on. And you're great. And I'm like, come on.

Okay, don't like blue ball me like that. You didn't even touch my balls, at least, you know, like, give it to me straight, Doc. And he's like, he goes, He's going through every test, but he's like drum rolling me up to the results. And I'm like, dude, just say everything looks good and then gives me liver. Liver looks great. And I'm like, what?

Awesome. Biggest plot twist of the century. I know. I'm like, that's what I basically came in for. Liver looks great. Kidney looks great. No STIs, no STDs. Wow.

Everything is great. Blood looks great. And then that was it. I'm like, okay, great. And then he gets to heart. Because I was like, that's what I was waiting for because she tested three times. and he's just like drawing things and he's like telling me by the way we're getting to this part my heart's pounding through my chest and I'm about to kind of like have a panic attack because he's

not telling me results and he's giving me all these words and stuff and because I'm in this panic state I'm giving him a full Netflix special comedy session I am cracking jokes right and left he cannot give me my results because I am being the most hilarious person in that. at doctor's office and I can't stop I'm about to cry and I'm just like rattling off a set and he can't breathe he had his head on his

on his doctor's because he was saying he he's no I was making him laugh so hard he's like cracking up and either you are so funny man I'm like give me the fucking results man I probably couldn't get a word out I know how you get I couldn't stop talking and like the panic state made me

funnier like and I think he was like man you're dying but you're so funny but he finally got to the results i have like extremely uncharted for my age high blood pressure right and so that is something that is giving me high blood pressure now the number it's like something over something right so the normal like standing heart rate resting heart rate for someone a hundred something my age is like can we look it up because i don't want to talk out of my arse 120 over 80 so it's 120 over 80 i was like 165 over some like a lower number i was like a lower number i was It was like, he's like, this is something I've never seen in someone your age.

And I was like, so what's, stop saying that? What is the plan of attack here? Also, what could that lead to? Stroke, heart attack. Yeah, he's like, this is a family issue. And I go, all right, I am going to track down this asshole in my family. I'm calling my mom, calling my dad. No one's fessing up.

I'm like, okay, you guys want to hide? I'm going to fuck. It's got to start somewhere. I'm going to sniff you out. We have everything else under the sun. My dad's like, we don't have heart pressure anything. So now I think I need to do Ancestry.com Larry David style and kind of figure out who in my family is this like in the closet heart issue person. Wow.

I'm so sorry. It's fine. It's weird because all the things you need to do for. And I have to like stay chill now, which is like I get fired up all the time. Right. It's just now I got to be like. We've always been saying just like be chill. Yeah.

Be chill. And I have to as well. because I have high cholesterol, which is another, like, I shouldn't have that. At your age, no, you shouldn't. In my, in my, early 20s. Is 20, you know what, late 20s? No. Mid to early.

Nah. And anyways, I also, like, I don't know, it's a weird thing. And I go back in this afternoon, so I'll know, like, more this afternoon. But this guy was just so fun. It was one of those things, you know, we always talk about bidding, put in situations that, like, only we get put in. It's just like this ridiculous thing that I can't even explain to people, but he was a character on a TV show. That's how I was feeling about Olivia. Yeah.

No, that's a character on a TV show. This doctor that like I can't stop making him laugh and he's wheeze laughing. Right. I'm just like, okay, like me the results of my diagnoses. Right. I never got like a diagnosis, but I did get three prescriptions. Well, how about you ask him what those are today? I brought them with me so I can bring them into the office this afternoon.

Good. Did you Google the names or anything? Yeah. Okay. It's very general. It's like general. general stuff. They also have my back issues, which was another thing I went in for.

Oh, did he? Which is muscular. Yeah, it's muscular. So I got like muscle relaxers to take it night every day until, and he's like, this could be fixing five days or six weeks. Wow. You don't need to go to the chiropractor, which I already did. Well, at least now you know it's not your kidneys.

It's not your liver. I'm also not going to go back to my massage place on the Venice boardwalk because I think I got COVID from there. Oh, shoot. Looking back. Also, like, maybe that's not good for your back. No, they hurt my back. and they also, they hurt my back

and they also gave me like an illness that I was unable to sand for three days, which could have been anything. Oh, yeah. Anyways, I have to limit my salt intake and I have to continue exercising. I do all the time and drink a bunch of water. But I came home and obviously, like,

forgot about the salt thing. And I had like an unbelievable amount of saracha. And immediately my heart started hurting. You wouldn't believe, like, how many things salt is present in. It's in everything. Yeah. She's crazy.

What exactly is MSG? We'll never know. Which, I don't know. One time, you know Aunt Susu, of course. Yeah, of course. I was young, and we were at a Chinese restaurant, and she ordered, like, a whole thing of fried rice or something and ate it, like, every last morsel of rice.

Yeah. And then the waiter came, and she was like, oh, does this have MSG in it? They were like, yeah. And she was like, I can't eat MSG. Did she send it back? She asked for another one without MSG. And I was like, huh? I think I'm not following.

This chick loves her. Right. Sisu's also banned from every Louis Vuitton soar. Why? I don't, I think she kind of put up some sort of fight about something she wasn't satisfied for. There was, and it ended,

and it ended with her being not allowed to step foot in the, in any location. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I also wanted to say on the way home from the doctor, I'm in Santa Monica and I'm just like, I'm struck. Because when I get news like that, I'm struck.

I was expecting to have a tumor or something, honestly. Anyways, my back hurts, my belt's too tight. My booty shakes from the left to the right. And I'm in my car, and I'm sitting at the stoplight. And then I hear the loudest noise ever, and I look in my rear view, and all the cars behind me are getting slammed into, and it's domino affecting right towards my car.

And I go, I'm going to pull out of the way. I pull out of that way, and the Prius behind me, skids past me, and there's like six cars behind it. That's crazy that you had time. I operate pretty well under a circumstance that I see coming. I'm just going to pull over. I'm so fucking dumb. I should have let them hit me.

It would have not only paid for my back, but also my bumper that's fucked up. Man, I should have just sat there. And guess what? The person that initiated the indomino fact? G-wagon. I wouldn't have even had a guilt complex around them paying for my back and my bumper. And you would be the only one.

Was anyone in front of you? Nope. You would be the only one not at fault at all in that situation. I don't think if someone hits from behind. behind you're liable for it's the original i just learned you are because it happened to tristan he got like a five car one and he's responsible he's in the middle and he's responsible for the person in front of that's which is not fair because he didn't do it well he should get a good lawyer because that doesn't make sense i think that's just how the rules of the road babe one thing i can't try with the rules of

the road as a wild hog myself i spend a little bit of time on the road you know what i say about the road hmm life's a highway mm-hmm take take it to leave it if you can't take the heat in the highway and get out of my lane because I'm the fast lane and I'm never slowing down. Right. You're in the bus lane. I'm in the bus lane. My favorite one of my favorite moments was just like

driving randomly like around here and like looking over and seeing Connor's car is pretty recognizable and just seeing one solo car in the bus lane. I was like why am I going so? Why is no one? And it being I was like I'm making record time. Why the hell is no one

in this lane? I'm like I'm like passing everyone like loopers. Like the most illegal thing you could probably do. Yeah. And I just kind of sped right by thinking, you know, he'll figure it out. Or he won't. But it'll get itself. Well, I was like, why am I in like the HOV lane solo?

Yeah. All these HOVs are on the left lane. I know that like this is like a no-no. And it's like super lame and low-hanging fruit. What are you about to say? Well, I want to talk about my dream before I forget about it. Oh. I saw this tweet that was like being married means having to wake up every single morning

and the person next to you telling you about their dream. And that made me not want to get married. You don't like talking about dreams, I know, right? I like telling people about my dreams. Yeah. I think it's really hard to hear about someone else's. I know. And that's so hypocritical.

No one wants to hear about my dream. No, I want to hear about your dream. And I know that, but I promise you, it's semi-relevant to what we're going to, it will liaise on us into, I think, a better. It will liaise us. It will liaise. Okay, let's liaise. Shall we liaise?

Yeah. Care to come with me on this liaise journey? Let's go. Come on. Okay. Tell me the story. So I like, I've been having a really bizarre dream. So the other night, I had this dream where I was in an Airbnb and we were on a trip with a bunch of people and I don't remember who all was in it.

but Taylor Swift was performing inside of our Airbnb and it was a large Airbnb and there was a lot of fans there and I went pee and I missed the entire set and I came in with my phone out and I was like Farts I missed her set and like I'm not a Taylor Swift huge Swifty person

I'm a fan and then she I'm like crap I missed it oh we were in Africa for some reason we she comes out and she's on You buried the lead that's what Barry the Lead means She comes out And she's on a second story

And she looks over And she's noticing I'm upset And I said I missed the whole show She comes down a spiral staircase To me and goes Hey no worries like I'll do another show You should come and I was like

That's amazing give me a hug And she gave me a hug And then she pulls back And she has soy sauce all over her face And I look down and I'm holding an entire Chinese takeout. Oh my God, Connor, that is so like salt coated because soy sauce is just salt.

Oh, my God. That's a salt stress dream. I look at my whole shirt. I'm covered in soy sauce. And my face has soy sauce all over it. And I was the soy sauce carrier. And I passed on that soy sauce to her cheek and face. You're stressing about your salt intake.

And she goes, it's seriously no big deal. And goes to wipe it off. I go, no, no, no, wait, wait. Can I make a TikTok? With the soy sauce, she goes, babe, babe, of course. and we make a TikTok and it begins to go viral immediately. And then I wake up and I go, crap, it was all a dream. And so I roll over and I go back to sleep.

Immediately I'm in a plane crash in my next dream. I am fighting a battle in my noggin when I go to sleep every night. It's just not relaxing. Like sleep is not relaxing for me anymore. Are you taking melatonin? I'm taking nought shit. I should start doing something. I bet one of your supplements.

First off, I'm with Taylor's. Swift, then all of a sudden I'm in a plane crash. So can I get a break? My dreams could be anything. I wish I was reported. Your dreams could be anything you want. And mine are all horrific nightmares that end poorly. Also, I want to say like, like I said, I'm not like a huge Taylor Swift fan.

I wasn't before that dream. Obsessed with her now. I don't blame you. This queen's getting soy sauce right and left. And then she's like, sure, let's make a dick talk about it. So yeah, now I have this. Have you ever? had a dream about someone have you ever had a dream when you when you what were you and then you

where you have you seen that video no okay i thought you were truly having a stroke due to your blood pressure and salt intake no no that's a that's a reference but have you ever had a dream when you when you have you when you have you when you have you turn at the and then the if you hit the you've gone too long no what you're thinking of is the lid what am i thinking of The lid. The lid. The lid. The lid. The lid. The lid. Oh, this is the video.

This is the reference I was making. That you had. You, you, you, you can do, you want, you, you, you, you, you can do so. You, you, you, you, you want, you, you want to do you so much, you could do anything. Oh, that's precious. It's the cutest thing ever. That is precious. It's the cutest thing ever.

I hate when they, when they go. I was a meme one time and then it's like a normal person. I'm like, this is who I want. This is my like Talladega Knight's Baby Jeet. I don't want to see him grow up. I wish he would stay like this forever. Anyways. Day this little.

Go on. That was that Taylor Swift song, full circle. Don't you ever grow up? Oh. I don't know what song that is. 22. No, not that one. Never grow up.

Have you ever had a dream about someone that like you really could, you're pretty indifferent about it. then you wake up and you're like, oh, I'm in love with this person. Bradley Cooper. It's like a, it's something so out of your control where you go to sleep and then you wake up and you're like, I am so physically drawn to this individual and I have no control over it. And it's just, it's taken me by storm. Lived out the plot of the kissing booth with Bradley Cooper in a dream once, which is like

an interesting casting. But the mind goes where it goes for a reason. I have loved him ever since and that was five years ago. I mean I loved him before that but now I'm just like when I see him I'm just like oh my God before that time on the beach

you know? Yeah and they don't know and now it makes me think like that's how people like a lot of people feel that way I get I get text all the time you were in my dream last night I'm like we've never met

I've never met you're in my dreams a lot you're like a person that would be in people's dreams I think you are a key piece yeah because you're just like such a your presence well i told you about that dream that you guys were all in it yeah i won the other night where we're it doesn't matter we we got to move on past dream talk i know that i'm fascinated actually i guess i do just like talking about my own dream yeah i talk to my my

hey get a dream journal i need to a dream a quarter because you kind of need uh the inflection points of when i'm talking about the dream for me to be like taylor swoop being like no give me, I don't care that the soy sauce is all over me. We are close. We're that close to where you could drench me. You could dip me in soy sauce like a wonton. And I don't care because it's me and you against the world, baby. And like, she doesn't even know that I had that dream.

And I'm just living this out in my own subconscious. And that's disturbing. She doesn't know me. She'll never, I mean, we don't know what could happen. But. I am just looking. I'm sorry. I thought I wrote down the Bradley Cooper dream when it happened.

I also want to say while you're looking for that. But I didn't. Now I really, really, really want to go to a Taylor Swift concert. And I'll fly to it if anyone has an extra. I'm going. If anyone has an extra ticket to any location, I will, or I'll buy it. But I will come. I feel like there's so many in L.A.

Oh, I don't know the schedule, but I need to go now. And it's out of my hands and against my wood. No, it actually is out of your hands. Wait. Oh, come on. Oh, my God. I've got so many dreams recorded. I know we don't want to hear it.

Let me just give you one. Because these are from 2020, like, right when COVID hit. Oh, that was a time. So those have to be like, really. That was a time to be dreaming. We were all dreaming. Huh. Sorry, I keep talking for a sec.

Okay, well, I think that the reason I was saying that it was so relevant is because the FBI's graphic design team and their intern, I guess, or whoever runs a social media account put out like a piece of marks. marketing material in in Taylor Swift Esk turn like I don't I don't know how to describe it it's like a speak now they came out with this this I don't know what would you call it it's kind of like a flyer that's a speak now and it's it's an ad for speaking out against terrorism it's like in Taylor Swift style speak now do you have a tip

about a federal crime justice is better than revenge you may not be Superman but you can help the hashtag FBI protect the country if you have information about a federal crime, speak now, and it's like Speak Now, Taylor's version. Are they allowed to use her IP, the Federal Bureau of Investigation?

Bureau? I feel like she doesn't own Speak Now. But like her almost, I mean, the purple and the cursive? I'm sure she actually doesn't mind. And maybe she does. Maybe she's got an issue with the FBI. I, for one, could never,

because I love criminal minds. This is my dream job, by the way, like being on the social team of the FBI because it combines my loves of being on my phone. and the FBI. You are not going to believe what I just found on my phone. What?

It's actually like so, I'm terrified. We'll speak now. It's a dream I had May 19th, 2020. I wrote this down at 628 a.m. This is the most full circle episode we've ever had in my life,

in our lives. Give it to me. I was in the YMCA pool taking the deep water test. I had to backflow for five minutes and then tread water for three. I was really nervous because I already failed twice.

As I was finishing up my backflow, I felt someone lightly, touch my shoulder. I turn. It was Harry Stiles with a huge bucket of watermelon. He told me he was there to help. He hand fed me the watermelon for the entire three minutes I had to tread water. I passed the deep water test and got my green ribbon. We hugged and he smelled like

watermelon. We played Marco Polo. We talked a lot about our joint business venture, a unisex fragrance called watermelon sugar. That is fanfic. That is nuts. It's crazy that your brain wrote that entire plot of like a fanfic while you were asleep. Like you can't stop grinding.

No, I cannot. I'm on the clock constantly. You have no idea. You need to have like a write-off for when you're unconscious. My whole life's a write-off. I'm never in this reality. I'm always doing something else up here. That was, that's kind of chilling.

Bone chilling. But I couldn't find the one about Bradley Cooper. Can I tell you something else that's kind of different and totally off subject because I just remembered it? Yeah, I'd love it. The other day I was in this coffee shop. and the music was really, really loud, and I love when coffee shops have music

that's like really intensely not the vibe to be in a coffee shop at like 7 in the morning. It was, think about it, watch yourself. What is that song? I'm not familiar. It was like, show me what you're working with. I remember it, and I was like, this is really loud.

And the barista was like, I can't hear you. And I leaned in, and she leaned in as well. and I told, I go, can I get a cappuccino? And I gleaked onto her ear. You leaked under her ear? Gleaked. What's gleaked? Oh my God.

How are you doing that on command? I learned in about seventh grade because gleaking was all the rage. I've never heard of that besides like Gleek of the week. No, it was like, how far can you gleak? And I was like, I can gleeke further than you. Show me your gleeke. Show me what you're working with. To discharge a long, thin stream of liquid through the teeth.

That's disgusting. Oh, we're not talking disgusting right now, are we? They didn't need to call it discharge. You know, I hate the D word. I hate the D word. It's not discharge. It's just, it's saliva. Yeah.

That being, is it rare to gleeck, can we see? While an enormous 35% of people can gleeke, only 1% can do it on command. Whoa, you're in the 1%. Oh! Wow. It does run out. It does run out. I can only, I can only gleak so many times.

day. I only have so much discharge to offer the world. Come on, one percenters. Let me hear you for. How are you doing it? Like, what are you doing with your mouth? I just push my tongue. Can you do a clover? Me neither. I'm not part of that one percent.

That's more than one percent. I don't know why my eyes are rolling back in my head. I'm trying. Not even close. Oh, shoot. All right. All right. Okay.

Should we do some PC, pop culture? Oh, yeah. Why don't you take the lead? Okay, here I'll give you three options and you can pick one. Threads? Let's do threads. Okay. Because I feel like threads is like an important thing.

Yeah. I didn't actually, before right now, I don't, I didn't have any thoughts on threads. So this is all going to be raw. That's fair. I'm sliding in raw right now. Oof, Connor. So go ahead. You want me to start?

Yeah. I like it so far. I need a few changes immediately, if not sooner. I need to have a page of just people I'm following. Yeah. The algorithm sucks. I'm getting like weird stuff. Like you should always have the opportunity

to just see stuff from people you're following. Like I'm not sure why they're not giving us that. And I don't like what I'm seeing. So I guess I don't like it at all. Well, I know that it was released in kind of a almost like an urgency because they wanted to just like start. They pushed it out before it was ready,

but they acknowledged that. Right, they did. Self-awareness is key. I think there's going to be three options here. One, it's going to flop. which is what I'm sensing right now. Two, um,

it's, we're going to have two mediocre apps that are just like, because I still get on Twitter because Twitter's so funny. Um, and then three, I can't remember. Oh, three,

Twitter's going to fail and they're going to make it really good and it'll be like the app for that. They just need to make a few changes. My whole thing, like obviously I could have opted out of following every single person I know. Oh, did you? No, I forgot.

I just clicked okay right away and you can undo it. So now I'm, so you did follow. There's a lot of people I don't need to see. I actually threaded this. I tweeted this on threads. I can't say the word threaded. I can't say my THs.

Threaded. Threaded. Seems like you're saying them. Oh, maybe because I'm thinking about it. Threaded. I threaded a couple things last week right away. And one of the things that I threaded was that a lot of people are going to come to realize that a lot of your favorite influencers can't form a coherent thought.

And I think a lot of people are seeing that now where it's just words. and I think text-based things every app eventually turns into screenshots of Twitter app.com. Every big thing on Instagram is a screenshot of a tweet. Some of the most viral, some of the most viral TikToks are people going through their favorite tweets of the week

and it's just a small green screen of them. We haven't done that in a long time. Yeah. Well, we'll bring it back. So I don't think the text-based thing is going anywhere. but it's a little frustrating that some of these huge influencers automatically have 100,000 followers on the app. I think that that's not okay, but I wanted it to happen to me.

Completely get what you're saying. Because, but I honestly wish that it would have transferred my Twitter followers over to threads because those people have chosen to follow me based on my, your brain, thoughts and thoughts. Versus, I don't expect someone that likes video and pictures that I'm posting to need to hear my thoughts. thoughts on. Right. Like people that like you for your body aren't necessarily going to like you for your

mind. Yeah. Which is a shame. I'm okay with that. Yeah. That's fine. Yeah. But now we have word from the Taliban finally. The Taliban has come out saying that they are in full support of Elon's Twitter, but they don't really support meta's version of Twitter threads because there are guidelines that are a little bit too exclusionary for the Taliban's needs at this time. At this time, right? now. So the Taliban has endorsed Twitter over threads. Other platforms cannot replace it. Instead of a senior member of the Taliban in a tweet explaining that meta is intolerant towards many people. So you're still on Taliban Twitter? Many people in groups including the Taliban. I have been on Taliban Twitter against my will, which I think is their whole

stick for so long. Their whole schick. Their whole schick is kind of things against your will, but I guess Zuckerberg's threads have been a bit intolerant towards groups such as, and including the Taliban. Got it. And their needs in a text-based app. So given that information, I think Threads has a great opportunity to continue building and tweaking their app to be number number number one. I am so disturbed by some of the videos that I see on Twitter, and it's, it's something.

that the most upper echelon The what? Comedy, upper echelon. What's that? Hmm. Oh my God, not me being DeSaurus, Dr. DeSaurus. Echelon?

Eschelon. Upper echelon. What does it mean? I can't spell it, so I can't look it up for you, but upper echelon is like top tier, cream of the crop. Oh, is that like S tier?

Is it S tier for echelon? I don't know what S tier is. Does anybody? Are you sure you didn't make up? Eschelon. Upper echelon. A level of command authority or rank after user service, she is now in the upper echelon of city officials. Is that what you were saying? Upper echelon, yeah. Cream of society? Yeah, it's the cream of society.

It could also be used as like the top of the crop. Top of the class. Okay. I prefer cream of society. Okay. So, yeah, I think the threads has the opportunity to be the cream of the society. Me too, Connor. Here. Me too. But we'll see what happens. I'm looking forward to it.

Do you have any thoughts on threads other than that? Well, my thoughts were initially I love it. And then as I was saying it out loud, I realized I don't like it. But my question, like for you as a content creator, specifically one who creates on Twitter via mine to text. Yeah. Are you posting the same things that you're posting on Twitter on threads? Like, are you tweeting and threading the same things the same way you would post like the same video on reels and TikTok? Let me show you why.

I could just feel like really safe on Twitter in the sense that like I'm not really, I will tweet whatever the hell I want. I don't really care. Like I, for example, I tweeted and seed oils are so good when you don't have a bitch in your ear telling you they're cancerous. I wouldn't put that on my threads because I don't want people on Instagram seeing me tweet that. Oh, see, I feel the opposite. I feel much safer on threads. Ashawaganda would be a beautiful name for an evil newborn. I wouldn't put that on Instagram, but like,

Twitter is just like, that's, is, you know. Oh, I feel the opposite just because no one, I don't have any followers on. Well, for example, I was going to make this a TikTok and a reel. And I did and I posted it. And it took a one-way ticket to Flop City. Population. My content. Mm-hmm.

And I tweeted, I got some disposable cameras for this weekend so we can lose three of them then spend $30 to develop the one we have left to get four photos that looked like they were taken of a colonial ghost. That's funny. That's great. I don't want to put that on threads because then someone's going to see it from Instagram and then I'm going to immediately make a reel.

That's why Twitter is my sounding board to get ideas and see how they perform and then turn that into like... I see what you're saying. And then I don't want... You know, because not everybody has a Twitter. Right. So it's like easier for me to see how content performs on Twitter.

Take it. Flush it out. Burp and then get the work and post it on video-focused apps. I'm picking up what you're putting down. Yeah. I'm looking forward to seeing where it's going. I've been threading a bit. I need some changes.

Yeah. And that's that. And I think we'll see those changes. Yeah. I still like Twitter. I did. Unfortunately, even though it's promoted by the Taliban at this time. Well, it was promoted by the Taliban against, like, I don't, Elon just like, is such a dweeb.

I've never seen someone ruin something the way he'd ruined Twitter. Like, that is just, that's a feat. It is. Don't ever say he didn't do anything. he is such a loser it's crazy he's he again that's someone who can't even make the ranks on my loser list because he's just so far gone of your loser list yeah hit me you called you called it with jonahill you called it i can't tell you which episode it's on i do not remember but i want

for the record to show that i don't know if you said it on here but you have said it to me i have said there is something nefarious about jonahill and i can't put my finger on it and i knew that I didn't like him and then this weekend it came to ahead. Yeah, you could say that again. My son's been grumbling too. I want to see if I can get my stomach grumbling. You can't, I've tried. Next time I can't, mine's really moving.

No, mine too, you can't. I've been doing it. It doesn't pick up on the mic. I called that he was weird out. He's a bad, he's a bad nut. Whatever. I mean, I'd be curious to see what he has to say. Also, did you ever see that?

I don't think he's going to say anything because it's like he just doesn't care. Did you ever see that Netflix movie he made about his therapist? That's what I was saying. That's like what he's so addicted to, he speaks like therapy language only. Yeah, there is a thing as being overtherapized.

But I watched that and like it's not, there's something sinister about it. Like I don't, like I've been in therapy all my life. And like I don't, I didn't understand a word his therapist was saying. And it was like so like, you know that like fake deep kind of thing

where someone's like trying. They say a lot for something. And it's like, wait, I do, I do not understand what you're saying. That was me the whole movie. And like therapists are not supposed to talk about themselves. And the whole movie was about the therapist.

So like there's something, there's something sinister. Yeah. Yeah, you were right. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Not doesn't happen often. So I want to take that, I want to take that dub. Yeah.

Honestly. You know when, well, you don't smoke that much. But if you're really high and like you think you can all of a sudden, like you see things clearly. You're like, oh my God. Like, I know this. I know this to be true. I've never known something more than I know it in this moment. Like I'm seeing like I'm God and I'm understanding everything on a level that no one else can.

Just like seeing things like so clearly. Do you have that ever? I can truly say I've never experienced what you just said. Okay. Well, basically it's just like you're high and you're seeing things like in a new light and that light is just seeing them as all knowing and thinking that you like hold all the truth. Does that make any sense? Okay, so basically what it was happening was I had been hitting my binkie before I watched the apology video. And just watching her with that ukulele singing, I was like, this woman, there is something really wrong.

No shit. No, but I was like, yeah, obviously you might think that's obvious. But to me, I was like, I know that, like, there is something so wrong. And I, this is a fact. Like, there is no denying, like, shit. She's sinister. She's evil. Like I was literally looking at her.

I was like, this is an evil woman. And I had to stop watching because I was so scared because I was so high. And I was like, I'm more scared watching this than I would be watching, like, the Babadook or whatever. Like a horror movie. You're not supposed to say his name. Sorry. Him you're not supposed to say? I thought that was the boogeyman.

Brooke, don't say all their names in one podcast. Everyone that listens to this episode is going to be cursed. They already are probably. I know. we've wished some ill will upon many people. But she is evil. So what are the allegations? She was like grooming and racism.

Can you imagine being accused of grooming and racism and having like blatant proof that you have groomed and you were racist? Getting on camera and singing that it's actually everybody else that's the problem. Everybody else is toxic. By the way, you're racism and you're grooming. We cannot play her apology video. We can't give her any sort of monetization. She is suing everybody now that has any clip of them talking about it. Ring it.

No. Okay. No. Sorry. No, no, no. Sorry. I could fight in the court. Can you imagine me testifying that'd be awful?

I'd puke. No. She hid up the H3. I can't, I literally cannot look at her. She is to me like the cover that is like a cover of like a horror movie poster. I hope we don't get canceled and we're unrelevant because that would be just like a hard day. Also like there's always like my sister

used to watch Miranda sing stuff because she's young and like when that like there was always something wrong with that like as an outsider like she's basically like portraying like a some like a weird like I don't know like someone who's almost like neurodivergent in some way and like making fun of it kind of that's like her whole shtick

it's like spoofing on somebody who like clearly has different maybe I'm reading into it too much but like it never seemed okay are you high right now no I'm not do you ever get nervous

no are you single a little I heard you fuck a girl is it true what is this from what song is that from I thought you were asking me genuine questions it's little way but I can't remember what song it is am I being too harsh

No, you're fine. Like, yeah, it's weird. It's a weird, weird, weird, weird situation. We have to cover her face. I can't look. Like, I actually am feeling like... I just think that... So Ethan Klein came out and was like...

He's... They're being sued for, like, this small, like, time stamp of when they played the sample of her song. She's going after people. And she's monetizing. So basically she... If anyone doesn't know, Colleen uploaded her apology video. as an MP3 to like all these streaming platforms. And she's charging $10 a month for it.

Which I think this is her final cash grab. She said she didn't upload it? No. Maybe I'm making that up, but I think she came out and said that she actually had nothing to do with it. I'm really not on this side of the internet at all. I'm really on it.

And also her brother too, people are releasing screenshots of him grooming young children and the Twitter DMs as well. in cahoots? I think like they're acting separately, which is even scarier. So it just runs in their jeans? Like very scary. No.

Really quick. I really want to talk about in Maine the Wonka casting situation that we can watch the trailer. Mm-hmm. Okay, so we are going to watch the trailer for Wonka that came out yesterday in bonus. Casted, the cast release so far is Timothy, Timmy boy, Chalameh. and freaking Hugh Grant as the single umpalumpa. I just cannot. I'm sorry.

And Mr. Bean is in this movie? And Olivia Coleman. And that gentleman from bridesmaids. Okay. And Keegan Michael Key. I have to say, this was so brutally miscast that, like, I think someone should be held accountable. The trailer was so.

bad. It was so bad. Timothy Chalameh is not quirky. I cannot believe they put him into like that role. His line delivery was Oh shoot. What did he say? I wrote it down. Flip it around and turn it out. He was like a Chuckie cheese animatronic.

It was bizarre. Quiet up and listen down. Quiet up and listen down, guy. They need to put an absolute freak. Who's that guy in Norman Bates? Norman Bates. He was already Charlie.

Crap! That's why I was thinking it. Okay, who did someone say... Someone has an entire story on this from yesterday. I know who does. Okay, let me pull up. I just like, also like, is it a kids movie? I was so confused during the trailer.

Okay, so... What's it rated? This is what Sarah Coffey on Instagram said, and she's very funny. This guy is not kooky enough for this role. We needed a freak, a slime ball. somehow grotesque and you have that one friend who's like he's hot and you're like what the fuck and then three years later you kind of get it yeah right we don't need to heartthrob skyler gasonda would

have been good the guy from oh i love that guy that's someone whose name you just whose face you know but name you don't he would have been good rory colkin would have been oh yeah i mean i love i really do love timmy but so i'm really excited to see it and i hope that I proved wrong, but it didn't, it looked like really bad. Jane Lynch. As, as, as, would have been a good Wonka. I think that, yeah, obviously Jeremy Allen White, which we can dive into how he's definitely just like the offspring of Gene Wilder.

He is the least like silly person that I could think of, though. Yeah, but I want it to be, like, I want, I want, you're supposed to be a little bit scared of Willy Wonka. You're supposed to, Willie Wonka does not, does not, does not, He had an eye as his army of umpahs come and pick up a dead body and take it. Who knows where? Right. I want my Willie.

Have you ever had a dream that you want? Have you ever had a dream that you want Willie Wonka to watch Augustus Gloop drown in a fountain of chocolate? And then he doesn't bat an eye. That's what I want. Did Augustus die? Augustus Gloop? Yeah. I don't know.

Honestly, you know who would have been really good before we go? Charlie Day would have been an awesome. He's so old. Not so old, but like too old to play Wonka. Timothy Shalameh looks like a teen. Yeah, I think that's what they're going for. He's too young to own a chocolate factory. He doesn't own it yet.

This is the prequel. Why is he dressed like that? Because he's weird. I don't like this. I don't like this. I agree with you. I want to be proved wrong, but like, I want Willie Wonka to look like he's a tweaker. You know, and he found those clothes.

And he can't wait for his next. fix, you know? And he needs to see some kids... Of chocolate? He needs to see some kids die today or else. They should have had that little shriveled thing from SpongeBob play Wonka. Yeah. I remember when they first divined chocolate.

Yeah, her. I always hated it. Let's go to bonus on that. I love that echoed through this entire thing and there was not a laugh to be heard. Maybe I'd be a good Wonka. Oh, here we go. Okay. I'll dive into that in the bonus.

Remember that you can sign out for bonus. If you want to come watch us, watch the trailer at TMG Studios. We have a lot to talk about. Ooh, I had something I wanted to do. Oh, we'll do it in the bonus. Do it in the bonus. All right. We'll see you over there.

Loving you. Voice cracked. All right, we'll see you in the bonus. Bye, guys. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week. Et cetera. We will.

How do you spell et cetera? We'll see you. This week on close friends. It's both someone has both gotten pregnant and died. It has strodinger's cat. Again, like so many TV shows. So little time. There's actually so much time.

Wait, an Oompa Orge? Oh, I feel like I'm going to throw up. Come on, come. At least you... Oh. No, no, no, no. Sign up on TMG Studios. TV to watch a full bonus episode.