Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - The Young Woman In Conference Room B

Episode Date: September 4, 2025

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okay yeah that's actually take a sip up your muscle milk that's exactly what this boy needed yeah is man chug the muscle milk okay that's about to bring a boy to a man

it comes a time in every man's life when actually there does come a time in every man's life no genuinely I have never seen muscle milk before like last week and I've seen like three of my friends you included drinking it So what's going on?

Well, this is like... Is it bulking season? Stop fingering the muscle milk with your toes. Okay, I was just trying to get it out of frame. But this is actually not muscle milk. It's lean body. Oh, okay. It's lean body.

Yeah. And lean body allows you to do things like this. Like show you the lean body. Why are you drinking lean body? Um First of all It's just I know it's so bad for me Which is great

Is it? Yeah I just read the ingredients Basically nothing could be There's nothing It does feel Like there's evil of foot On that ingredient list And let me just

Let me see Yeah like I don't think I should be putting Sion Cobalaman and molly badee there are never any words that you can understand on ingredients labels for the they should they should have like a dummy version that's like just don't worry about a kitten yeah all good kitten oh good kitten you're you're okay i just i'll be so fine kitten

go play i i i uh was he met it the other day i was i was buying like a handful of like daily items that I needed to get through the weekend. I go, whoa. What is any of this stuff? Okay. Except this. Hello, Obama. It is, this is a classic to me, a banana.

So confused what's happening. My question was, why are you drinking lean milk? Well, okay, I, uh, When I started working out at my gym, my new gym, that I haven't been to. That was a combination of muscle milk and lean body. When I was, well, I've been working towards this lean body of mine for ages. Okay. So it's your, you have a goal in mind with lean body.

Yes. Okay. I was just out with my family and they're just like, they, obviously last week I was in Michigan. and to the young woman who sends me a death threat every time I take a bite of food on this podcast, that banana slurping was for you, girl. I'm thinking about you today and this dude. I was with my family and they, my parents are to that age now where they like, don't, like, they don't really, I'm like, should we get food?

They're like, oh, I hadn't really even thought of that. I'm like, how is no one hungry at all? Like we three meals a day is standard. No? No, it is. Like my mom like has like doesn't eat like I don't understand what happens as you age that you just don't require food anymore. It's insane because it's not like we're just like kind of sitting around. It's not like we're traveling and there's like no access to food.

We will be like hanging out, relax and like. So what are we going to do for dinner? And my whole family, geez. Like have you like do you want to wait? Have you experienced any? hunger today at all. I'm like, I'm starving right now. I'm shaking. I'm irritable and I'm in a bad mood. They're just like really like mind blown that I need at least two meals a day. Wow. Yeah. Like I'm eating and I'm like kind of in fight or flight. I wonder if we'll eat again.

Should I should I double up? You know? Yeah. They're just not. I'm glad that you're getting your gains and your protein right now making up for loss of time. Yeah. Oh God. Yeah. I'm not even been done. I'm going to have this RX bar after 12 more grams. Yeah, we're talking 52 grams of protein by breakfast. I want to see you bulk up by the end of this podcast today. Yeah. Yeah. I might get a little engorged. I want to see you. I can't actually. The end of that sentence was like not going to be okay at all. I want you to finish that sentence. No, I know. I'd really prefer not to. Thank you though. Can you? You said I want to see you. I do. I want to see you. I want to see you. I want to see you. I want to see you. Okay. I'm not as handsome as I'm not as handsome as I'm not as handsome as girl.

Girl. Okay. I want to do a little follow up and I want everyone to kind of try to stick with us here. This is something that like we're going to reach a point and I think that this podcast is like like we've reached a point here where we need to stop. We need like the fun and games are over. Thank you guys so much for. listening. There's too many people listening now where no matter who we talk about or mention, it's coming across their desk in a big way. I did get what feels like a threat to my email the other day from someone that I'm too scared to bring back up. But I just want to say one, one I'm going to circle back on really quick is, um, how what do we? I'm going to, I have a that I'd like to call him.

Okay. Because here's the deal. You guys might remember that I imprinted on someone a few weeks ago at my friend's birthday party because I walked into this room and some people might not know because I don't talk about it.

I've been writing a book. I wrote a book. And there's a few love interests in it. And I don't really picture people when I'm writing but for whatever reason I walked into this room and I saw this young man. I said that that is Finn.

and I'm just going to say his name, young man from my book. In a way that took my breath away, I was like this, I've been spending so much time with this man in my head for the past year and here he is in front of me in the most insane way.

He was just like a very beautiful man that I imprinted on, spoke about it pretty, pretty in depth on the podcast. I never said a word to him. I was just admiring. And yeah, that's really it. Connor, take it away.

I mean, everyone knows. Obviously, I found his, credentials because I was needing to show like my agents who had read the book I was like hey like this is I found the Finn and so obviously I had to find to socials and I also had to show Connor so Connor take it away

so obviously I'm like oh like yeah I like feel like I've seen this first I don't know I think I've seen this film before and then this weekend we had a gathering and someone catches my eye from a cross the backyard and I said

sleigh I said it's freaking it was freaking fin it was fin to a tea in the most incredible way I'm wearing a wig for having a wig party I sprint up going I must have I'll show you the wig I had on

I must have looked looked like, what's the kid in that cartoon? I must have, okay, moments that felt like goofy's yell. Me around it, me sprinting up to this young man. Hey, hey, hey, hey, you. The crazy thing is, like, I had not even, like, introduced myself at all. Like, there's no reason for any of this to be happening. No, and, no.

And you know what? Yeah, make that big, because I'm going to show you what I looked like, what wig I was wearing. Also, please, just Connor sent the imagery with no context, him in this wig with the young man. Okay? Imagine receiving a text message like that. And I'm running up. I look like this.

I was in a bathing suit. I was drooling. Hey, hey. Can I ask? I am so curious what you said to him. Like, how would you even start to explain the connection? Like, hey, my friend imprinted on you a few weeks ago? It all happened so fast.

I said, oh, I have a, I have a friend, dude, like, saw you. Did you mention the friend was like a girl? Yeah. And he goes, she knows I'm gay. I go, oh, God, yeah. That's it, baby. I go, I think that's what did it for her. That's the key piece.

I think that's what, I think that's what's kind of sending her to where we are now. And I said, and we have a podcast and we talked about you for 10 minutes. And he was just like, ooh, he was like, oh, oh, wow, I'll have to listen to it. And I was like, then he didn't. I'll be honest. No, then it got back. Then I like kind of was just like, hold on. Like, what did I just say to this stranger?

And then I was, and he was, and he left right after I told that. I told him that. It's so crazy how like, obviously he's so important in us and he means so much in our lives. And yet we are strangers to him. In that moment, we were strangers. I do want to circle back again to Ray from Brambridge. I want to let everyone know Ray from Frambridge. I think I said two words.

And then I spoke about his character in depth for about five minutes on this podcast. And like, Ray, if you're out there and you're listening, by the way, my, my frame's been ready for a week and a half. I'm too scared to go back to the store. I think I might have to send someone else. I will go with you when I'm there next week. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.

You're going to be here. Yeah. That could be fun. Yeah. Ray, if you're listening, like, my bad, that is really just not, we need to, like, it's something that we're constantly working on about ourselves is not speaking about people as in depth as we have been without having met them at all. Yes, that is something that we're working on.

Maybe even spoken to them anyway. I want to hear something horrible. I didn't even really tell this last week with Kat. I think I only mentioned it on the bonus briefly. I like karma to myself in the manifestation space in a really horrible way. let me explain what I mean by that Connor okay uh I don't know if you know I've been banned from hinge okay because I didn't realize what I was having was like an extreme OCD flare up of like

the way I was downloading and deleting the app 18 times a day I wasn't realizing like what was going on in my brain it became like a compulsion that I was not even aware of it was just like just something that I needed to do and people were like just pause your account And I'm like, that is not satisfying the compulsion. Okay. I need to delete the account, rebuild it from the ground up, put myself back out there, fresh slate and then get really upset about the fresh slate, okay? That was what I was needing to do and then delete it and recycle that cycle.

Okay. But some of you might remember a few months ago there was this one young man that I was like, I'll just give him a year to match me back or something, right? Just a year. Just a year. And anyway, because I had. deleted and rebooted my account so many times, I probably sent him like 14 to 85 likes over the course of the past few months. And I was like, you know what, it's fine. His phone's like at the

bottom of the ocean, right? For whatever reason, Connor, I, every guy I see on Hinge, truly at least 10 of them, I then get them on my TikTok for you page. Like, I feel like there's some sort of link between Hinge and TikTok. There is. I think that that's when, you know, when an app is like, will you allow this app to track across your other apps? Maybe that's it. I think that they're,

they're working together to build connections. They're building bridges. So anyway, there was an extreme bridge that was built between the guy that never liked me back and my FYP in a way that blasted him out. in a way that he, I was able to perceive him speaking about Hinge and his likes and how he doesn't get a lot of likes and they're pretty, pretty dry space, etc. He's really not looking for much. He's just, he just wants a cute girl, Connor. That is literally all the poor guys asking

for. Imagine the shock to my system seeing that when I'm just eating my scrambled eggs. Okay. So I want to say I think that I brought this upon myself. This is karma for all of the negative things I've ever said about the men on my Hinge profile. I feel like this is a punishment because it really didn't feel good. And so I want to go back and say that every guy I've gotten on Hinge is so fucking hot. And that's really it. And that's where I want to end the story. And I never want to say Hinge in this space again.

Thanks. Okay. cool um i'll try to hold you accountable i do want to say that that young man that you're enamored by does look like a spitting image of your brother there is no similarity um oh i'm also getting emails now when he uh posts because i watch so much what is that why why i get emails too with like the most random people and i don't follow yeah so i'll get emails whenever he posts a new video about hinge and the state of his likes, which is an amazing thing to be receiving in my personal Gmail.

Oh, Brooke. I mean, if it helps you, I genuinely did a double take thinking it was your young man, Noah. I will say, I'm just, I'm relieved to be off the platform for good. Therapists gave me some good strategies and shit like that. What were the strategies that you're there? therapist gave you to stay off.

Just a lot of redirection when I feel the, the compulsive need to submit an appeal for my man. I have not yet submitted an appeal. Wait. What are your redirections? Just like, can I be honest? I wasn't really listening. If I, if you don't mind me being completely honest for a second, I think I had so doubt at that part.

Okay, I have, I have one. I have one you can use. What? Anytime you have a compulsive thought, or if you're being enamored by something, or this is like something stressing you out, a good grounding technique is to do look around the room, five things you can see,

four things you can hear. Thank you so much. Three things you can smell, two things you can taste, and one thing you can touch. It was more so just like doing something else, like an action. like an activity.

Like looking around the room, finding fine things you can see. Like something that would satisfy the compulsion. We were trying to figure out what that would be and then I couldn't come up with anything. And folding your laundry? No, like I don't want to do that. Oh, what do you want to do? Trying to think of something less dangerous for me. I wanted, well, what I really wanted to do is submit an appeal.

Well, what do you want to do that's less dangerous than folding your laundry? No, it has to be more dangerous than that, but less dangerous than submitting an appeal. Like what? I don't know, baby. That's the problem. I'm starting to, that was the end of the session. And then we were going to tackle it this week. So I'll let you know next week what the plan is when I feel the impulse to submit an appeal.

It hit me where it hurts. I'm very curious. Yeah. I want to hear what happens with this. Yeah. I'll let you know. I really like my new therapist. I need to get a new one again.

What, like, what do you mean again? Well, because I just go, I ghosted my, my young, my young gentleman. We were not vibing like that. I do want to say, talk about manifestation space. Do you remember how heavily I was hit by his advice to when I am so stressed out that I can't do anything? And his advice to me was, we'll just do it. Yeah. And then my, my gash, looking like an absolute.

absolute Nike swish in my arm. That will make me think about him for the rest. You should get a tattoo on your gosh. I kind of don't want to get the Nike logo. Are you serious? Yeah, it's weird because of my lean body. You would expect me to really want the Nike tattoo or something like in that space. But no, I don't want it at all.

What if you got something that like represented to just do it mindset that wasn't the Nike logo on the Because I don't want to picture the young man that I was on on Zoom with And I can't He was actually a young man It was impossible to say his age It was one of those people that's like

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Watch only on Prime. I also want to say, R.E. My lean body. Yeah. That I started running distance again. Like, distance. I'm talking. Really? some distance and I broke my foot

you broke your foot I fractured something in my foot yeah will you be okay I'm exaggerating I think I heard a tendon in my foot but I can't walk oh my god Connor I'm so sorry oh my ass is limping around well you need a boot

there's a chance I could have a boot which would not be an ideal situation but because I have no like concerts or anything coming up that a boot benefit me for do concerts do boots benefit you at a concert yeah you kind of count you kind of count as skip the line vibes

really yeah legally or just like that's just an understood rule unspoken in terms of like a handicapped yeah I think that you would be you could go in the front with your boot I didn't know that Connor well it's like so it's something that I'm telling you right now

how was your birthday part was it your birth it was your birthday party Do you want to talk about it or now? Yeah. We can join birthday. I realized yesterday that we didn't leave the house one time. That's my ideal. Yeah.

We had people over every day, swam by the pool, hung out. I got a bouncy house. I can't explain to you to have a bouncy house slide as an adult. As a young man, too. And that's an adult. To have a bouncy house there, I haven't felt that level of serotonin in so, I was giggling. I was feeling, I was seeing colors more brighter, more brighter. It was so special to me.

I was just like, it was just so fun. I was feeling joy. Oh, I love to hear that, that you were feeling joy. Other people were coming. And you know when like someone in a movie when, when like a young man or young woman just starts dancing and someone goes, they all kind of look at each other and they go, let's dance. You join it? And then all of a sudden, everyone's dancing. No. But I like the sound of it. I was just like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this slide. And then people started doing the

slide. And I feel like everyone wanted to do the slide. But no one was doing it because they were holding back because they go, I can't. I can't. Oh, now. Yeah. Now I think I know this thing you're talking about. Yeah. I can't do that. That's too. I'm not I can't like I can't I can't I can't really I can't let my hair down in that way but I said I implore you to employ you to do the slide like that and people had fun and they really enjoyed it I love that honor I wish I had any other update but it was really pretty much like an old person's birthday party an older gentleman's birthday party that sounds like a dream it was good it's just like I'm having a like I'm having a panic attack today just

being done with my my family trip and my and my birthday it's just like back to school vibes right now we're gonna go all out for your birthday when I'm in New York because it's Gabby's 21st birthday and she'll be there right so we'll take her out and we'll celebrate both of your birthdays that's really crazy just the just the gang like we used to do just me you and Gabby yeah sister's under Christ yeah feel free to invite everyone so let's let's go big Let's go big for it. Let's go pretty huge. Oh, I know your ass wants to be out until sunrise.

I'm like craving it so bad. I also saw my grandma last week. Yeah. Which is really good. Not me, me. No, my other grandma. Who just, like, is unable to start a sentence without saying when I'm no longer here. Right.

Wow, it gets to a point. Your life gets to that point sometimes. I know. And it's just like, it's insane. have my birthday and then like be hearing like when I'm no longer here and she talks about like being dead in a way that's like completely in a way that's like oh like when I'm when I head out later like that's the goal that's the goal to be that at peace with that here's the directions on how to use the oven like when like if I'm if I'm if I'm gone later here's where the key is under the mat you know

like I'm like should we get a coffee like down the down the street like should we go down to the coffee shop and get a coffee she goes oh my gosh we totally can and you know when i when i'm no longer here like you can still get coffee and she thinks she's like is she preparing to not be here like at any second i i guess but it's just like shut up about dying 24 how old is she i know it's rude to ask a woman her age but 94 yeah that's that's a significant number yeah so forgive me for missing the podcast last week. Me and her were just shooting the shit in a big way.

It was almost, it was almost, it was almost, it was almost G and C make a P because we sat there and talked our dicks off. I wish she would have recorded it. I recorded a little bit, but all it is is her talking about being six feet under. And I'm not joking.

Talked about where she wants to be buried. We talked about, my dad randomly I don't know, it was like, yeah, McCona loves to go to the cemetery and look around. And I'm like, I've never, I don't want to go to the cemetery. I, yeah, I don't, I don't really do those spaces in a good way. I don't really, I don't really fuck with the cemetery.

You call me crazy. But I do, like, I also don't want to talk about death ever. So let's move on. Do you want my vibe? Yeah, we totally can. Because I've also been having some, like, horrible death related anxieties. Yeah. And so it couldn't hurt to move on.

Okay, well, I also, okay, I'll just say that, like, I don't. know what was in the water this week. I don't know if everyone's like drinking tap water all the sudden losing their minds. But if one more person gets engaged on the timeline, I'm about to freak the fuck out. Yeah. I'm buying a gun. You know, it's like, like everyone got engaged. I think 16 people got engaged this weekend and you know what I got? Exema. Randomly, I got eczema now. Congrats on your wedding. I gotta go get some usur in. I can't really

get you. I can't really go get you guys a wedding gift right now. I'm lubed up. I can't get my door open out of my mat to leave my bathroom. I have so much lotion all over me. Extremely tough. It's just crazy. It's a tough man. We're at a tough age. It's crazy. People are getting engaged

and I'm getting banned. On hand. Just like, yeah, and I'm getting eczema. You get you get it. What are the chances Because I get banned the day you get eczema? Invisible straying? 100% of, for us. Of course I would get, of course I would get,

of course I would get eczema. And it's, by the way, it's everywhere. Yeah, I believe it. And guess what? My feet don't itch anymore, but armpits sure do. I, and I think it's, they said it could be, because they luckily were able to narrow it down to it could be anything. Okay.

I have to go get blood tests. Something's telling me it's not eggs, I'm at all. Oh. And it's like a sign of a larger issue. Well, you were in the nature for a while. Maybe it's like something we made contact with. Yeah.

It could be any. They were able to, they included that in the anything part. They could be nature and not nurture. But it also could be nurture at the end of the day as well too. Oh, I have to tell you. I just want to go, please go ahead. I just want to circle back to people getting engaged.

Yeah. I don't know if I've asked you this before. I stopped caring about that shit like that. You know what I mean? No, I just think that like spread it out a little bit. Like I don't need, I don't need to be like, hmm, should I get Thai food or Chinese food? And then like open my Instagram. Should I like order Chinese food to sit on my couch by myself and watch this is 40 for the 20th time?

Yeah. And then I open Instagram and get absolutely just like assaulted by my own feed. This is my feed. Why are you guys assaulting me? Well, Connor, I know I said a few minutes ago that it wasn't okay and everything like that. But it's just changed my attitude. It is what it is. No, I agree.

And I also like I'm really happy for it. That's exactly what I'm trying to say. Yeah. I am happy for them. This is not like a slight at all. It's just like I don't care if something happens. That's good. for you.

We need to actually, like, be positive in this space. I'm very serious. Yeah. No, something good should happen to me, too, though. It would, and it will. I hope everyone's having a good day, but as long as minds is good. Yeah. It's fine to want two things.

Yeah, two things can be true at the same time. You can have a good day, but I also need to. I also need to in a pretty severe way. So. Yeah. I want to say, I want to say two things that are not related to each other at all. One, I want to say, I've been thinking about wedding gifts a lot. because a young

woman asked me, she's like, I'm flying to my friend's wedding. It's going to cost $700 to fly there. Do I still get them a gift? I had that problem once. My flight was $1,000. And then I gave a gift,

but like just money and it was like not a big amount. And I felt bad. I was like, is this even worse than not getting a gift? My thing about wedding gifts is like if you're having a like a destination wedding like that I think you guys are good you know like I congrats in your dual income here's here's here's here's some money for me no here's a gift sorry that might be a hot take no I

there's a lot of a lot of conversations to be had with wedding politics yeah I don't know I'm actually I've been really free from the wedding so obviously like last year When was the year that I was just gone at a wedding every... Two years ago. Wow, that was really gnarly. Yeah. I was at a wedding every weekend for like six months. I'm so glad I'm not in that area anymore.

Anymore. So there's that. The second thing that's been happening to me recently, it could be because I've been around so many babies, but I'm ready to have a baby. You told me that yesterday. Yeah. That's amazing.

Yeah, I want a baby. I don't want to do anything to get it or anything, and I also need, like, a lot of... of help. Okay. Well, let's think about it. What's fit on it? Well, because you said that our cycles are not synced right now that you, you're not interested in having one of your own at all. Not, no, not not at all. But like, I feel like in the past, like, I've always been like, I want kids so badly. And now I'm kind of just like, whatever happens, happens. like I think now what I've realized

what I want as a family and so I don't think I would have kids like on my own even though that's not necessarily what you're asking Are you saying that like freeze your eggs vibes? Yeah like I don't think I'm gonna Well actually no you can freeze your eggs

and then use them like with a partner So I might still do that but because time is ticking But I don't think like I always thought like okay at what age would I just move forward with having kids on my own but now I don't feel that way it's like if I if it doesn't happen like with someone that I don't think that I want kids does that make sense wow interesting yeah and that's like with my because I think my cats

satisfy enough of genuinely my cat satisfy the need of like taking care of someone and loving something unconditionally I'm not even like being dramatic well this is like a really deep convo that we're having. Yeah, but I still wouldn't want like a family that my cats can't give me. See, I'd like to have, I'd like to have like two lives. Right. And not in two lives in like an evil secret way. Yeah. Two like transparent lives. We're like if I'm in the mood to go hang out with my family and like we have we live in the suburbs and everything like I can go be a father. It sounds like you need Stardue Valley on the switch. No, I don't want To play

I don't want to be I don't need any more screen time I really need to be out Like and touching grass And touching my family With your kids My kids Well I'm sure there's like

Whenever you decide that you are ready To have a family There's like a lot of ways We can go about figuring that out for you Yeah I'm ready I'm gonna look into it right when we get off this call Okay Actually what I have to do right of this call

I go on tour tomorrow There's no way. And by the time, once this comes out, I'll already be leaving Washington, D.C. After my first four shows there. Wait a minute. I thought I was going to see you all of next week in New York. Oh, Brooke, listen to my schedule for these next five days. If you weren't worried about it enough, since the last time I saw you in L.A.

where we had the gnarliest week, I left from there and went straight to Michigan with my family. Right. Were you able to get at least some relaxation there? Oh, yeah. Oh, heavens, yeah. Okay, good. And then I went straight from there to Hamptons for this weekend. Yes. And then straight from there, back here for just today. Okay. And leave tomorrow for D.C. for Nashville. For Friday, Saturday. Four more shows. See you soon in Nashville if you're listening right now. And then Sunday, I see you in Long Island. And then we'll be back in the city with each other. but yeah a little bit of a gnarly schedule but it feels good to be back at it baby i can't i have that thing you and this never-ending tour it's great it's amazing it is no there's this thing going

around that i keep seeing that like is obviously like cheesy but it gets me every single time this quote of like how lucky are you to be able to like complain about like something that used to be like a dream like i'm not i'm completely butchering it but you know what i'm talking about The work that now stresses you out Is like the work that you prayed for Yes, yes, something like that And every time I see it No matter how cheesy it is, I'm just like, yes.

Boom. Boom, shaka and laka, yes. Boom, and I cannot emphasize this enough. Shaka Laka. There was also one that said The boredom that you feel right now Is the peace that you once prayed for. So true in an amazing way.

I wish that everything could just be like normal though like why is it always like why does the grass always have to be greener it is and i just want to say to people to anyone who is unhappy in their lifestyle the grass is always greener when i was teaching i would pray every day and you know how much i loved those kids but just like the lifestyle of teaching wasn't for me i would pray every day i was like i want to make the most amount of money possible with doing the least amount of work and i'll be honest about that that that is what i want that is what I wanted at the time. Enter influencing.

Literally prayers answered and then I was like, oh, I'm so unfulfilled. That's amazing. And now things are starting to balance out. But truly like all I wanted was what I got. And then when I got it, I was like, never mind. Does that make sense? Yeah, I always feel that with like work stuff. I was telling I was getting coffee this morning and I,

was telling someone that I like last week when I begged for no one to email me I was having a panic attack every day asking why no one was emailing me if my career was over and they're like you told us not to email you are brains toxic like no I my brain does not let me like be proud and happy like every time I'm like I am living my dream because I am I'm living my dream writing this book and publishing this book, this is my dream. And then instead of being able to be like, this is so incredible. I'm so proud of myself. Whatever my brain goes, I really think that you're dead and living in a parallel universe. I really think that you. So what had happened was you actually had passed away. And now you're living in some sort of like dream world. Can't possibly just be like, good job, Brooke, pat yourself on the back, kiss your brain. You are dead. No, I've been dead. I think I've died 40, 50 times like Mickey 17. Mickey.

That was a crazy movie. Do you remember when I was like connecting with Robin that way? Yeah. Don't forget that. You did that shit. That was the most truly the sickest I've ever felt. No, it wasn't. The sickest I've ever felt was this weekend.

You want to hear what happened to me? I do. When I was going to say, I don't think it was. I think that something else has taken the top spot. Yeah, so some of you might not know. I do not hang out with a lot of straight men in Los Angeles or in general, but like in Los Angeles, it's been like the only straight man that I ever encounter, I think is Miles Kat's boyfriend.

Yeah. So and I'm getting really like I love that guy more than life itself. I feel normal around him. But with other straight men, I'm like, what? How to how to be, you know? What? How to be a person. Oh, how to be.

How to be. And so we were with some of Miles's roommates this weekend. It really just won. And he had a zen. He was like sucking on one of those. I this whole time, meanwhile, I have, I can't vape. Hurts my throat too bad. I've tried to suck on a vape.

I cannot. I can't do sick. I've never smoked a cigarette. I want to be one of those girls that can have a drunk cigarette. It hurts my throat. Can't do it. Yeah. So I've never had nicotine in my system, really.

Okay? My understanding of what the Zen was that it was like Nicorette gum. Like it's like a way to ween, I thought it was a way to like wean yourself off of vaping. Like a mint of sorts. So Miles's roommate is sucking on his inn and I'm like, hey, let me try one of those. Give me one of those. And he's like, are you sure? And I was like, yeah.

I put it in my mouth and I'm like, I don't know why people are saying these are like crazy. Like it doesn't taste like anything really. 10. Nine. Meanwhile, I'm also spelling at X, Y, N this whole time like Zaden from fourth wing. Like I'm like. So, and then like a few minutes go by. I like truly I can't stress enough.

I thought this was just like a mint. I'm like, why do I feel like so, so sick in like such a sick? in like such a sickly way. Mm-hmm. I don't really, I'm not like, I don't drip sweat. I am, I have like rain drops dripping off of my nose. Like all of a sudden I'm like, what's happening? I got, y'all, I did not know.

And apparently there are like different doses of them. This was the six. You did the big boys? This is the six piece. This was a six pack. Yeah. I had the six pack. Yeah.

I mean. on the bathroom floor of this bar for 30. Just drenched. Drenched. Me walking out of that bathroom, you would have think I had just gotten out of the war trenches underground with like my helmet was present. I just took my helmet off. The hair was like completely smashed to my head.

I have no coloring. It was awesome. I see. Yeah. go from never having had any amount of nicotine in your system to a Zen 6. Like that's like, like I don't understand the science, but I believe that's just like straight into your system. It's straight. It goes straight in.

I'm so dumb. I really truly thought it was like, like, Nicorette gum. No, it's like a dose that. Yeah, it's a hit. It's just like a very concentrated supply of nicotine. Yeah. And it's not even like a vapor. It's like, oh, it's like, it's like right into, it's liquid just right in.

in my bloodstream. I'm getting the chills. It was truly, I'm, I, that's, that's, yeah. It was amazing. That's a right of passage that you go through that everyone has had. Like I think like most people you ask have had that experience except most people have

throw up. I throw up all the time. As people know, I cannot believe throw up didn't come out of me. I was actually too sick to throw up. Did you swallow it? No. It took it out after like 10 minutes when I was like something's really not right.

But I was laying on the bathroom floor. I had to throw up so horribly and I was soaking wet. But I couldn't, I couldn't, I was too weak to throw up. It was very scary. I thought I was in the hospital. I mean, I mean, that's scary. I, um, I've had two. experiences. We used to dip way back in...

You used to dip? In high school. Do you know what dip is? Kind of. Like, just like straight tobacco, right? I can't believe, yeah. Like, it's like, you pack it and it's like... How old were you when you were doing that? I don't... Like, high school, like 15? That's crazy. It looks... That's like an old man thing to me.

It looks like can't... It looks like cancer in a jar. It looks like caviar. Oh, it does look like caviar. And you just suck it, like, is in? No, you, like, pack it up and you put it in your tear lip. Like, so you spit it out. Girls who dip. Girls who dip.

So I... Looking for hinge prompts. Looking for a girl who can pack a very fat lip. I do this in the back of the bus. I mean, like, upon arrival, it was... it was Vom City USA and everybody was throwing up like nine people at one time throwing up

because this like you cannot swallow any amount of it you have to spit I think Zins you can swallow like you don't swallow the Zinn but I think you swallow like your spit. I'm sure I was swallowing my spit I wasn't spinning it out that's for sure

oh that's for damn sure you're you're I think like a lady meanwhile my waiter was on the Glee project I thought I was hallucinating. What do you mean? You know what the Glee project is? No.

There was this reality show at the same time as Glee. Like, and you would compete like American Idol style to get a spot on Glee. And so it ended up that like the four winners like were on Glee. And one of the guys who had won was my waiter when I was inning. Thank you. Random. Yeah, it was pretty random. Full circle vibes.

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It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. I was going to say. Oh, and then recently this happened to me. We were at someone's house. It was evening. And I am sitting there chatting,

just sitting on the couch, chatting, casual vibes. and it was actually it was Pages Lorenza's house and so she's on Instagram live and I'm on the Instagram live and I take a big swig

of what I thought was my beer What else could it have been? Oh Brooke it was not my beer at all. Whiskey? No, someone had spit their three old Zens into it and it was full of their spit and I took a big swig. That is making me sick.

I want everyone to know like obviously if you are for all my freaks out there that like if you have like had someone else spit in your mouth or like we all have spit in our mouth but to have enough of someone else's spit to take like a thirst quenching

sip it's something that will stick with you it's been two months I can I still feel it in my mouth right now that I have hives. I'm getting sister eczema. You have hives. I have eczema everywhere. Yeah.

I'm sorry that happened to you. That's all I can say. No, it's really, it's something that stays with you. Yeah. It is totally fine. We could do,

we should talk about something. Oh, wait, this is like kind of funny. I talked to my grandma over this weekend. And when she was 48, she was smoking when she was 48. She was so funny telling me.

I was like, how much did you smoke? She's like, I would smoke. basically like when someone walked in my room in her office she's like I smoked for someone came in the office I smoked when I had like any task and then I would smoke when someone like leave my office he's like I would smoke when like I would like move my chair

I would smoke kind of when I would like open a drawer or a door or window I would smoke as well she was I can't I couldn't even count how many things she said describing everyday actions yeah like every time she would do anything she'd smoke and then at like 48 my dad wrote her a letter when he was like like 12 or something and said, I don't want you to die. And she stopped that day and she never smoked another cigarette. Wow. Isn't that

insane? That's crazy that there are people that can do that. Oh, she goes, yeah, I was, I was, I was just done. Wow. I feel like I was like that with like reading. How so? One day I just never picked up another book. I'm trying to think of what I just cold turkied.

I've cold turkeyed my meds a few times before. That was, that was not a smart. I don't think I've cold turkey much. I love cold turkey though. That's one of the best deli meats to eat cold. It could eat it hot too. It's very versatile. I love turkey.

Speaking of turkey. Have you seen the new catfish documentary? The unknown number one? No. It was speaking of turkey because I was thinking deli, fish, catfish, by the way. Yeah. This documentary is the most insane thing that I have seen in my 20 redacted years.

What's it on? Netflix. It's basically just this young couple, like 14-year-olds, were getting harassed over text for like a year, these like really like horrible, graphic, obscene, like, sexual and like threats. And it was. You just you can't say that My bad

Leap that out Connor just revealed the culprit Here's the thing I had known It's everywhere It's so I had known the culprit Before I started watching And then as I started watching

I was like oh I must have misunderstood What I had seen because there's no way That that that could be And lo and behold Y'all need to watch it It's like so frightening I didn't look into it. I also want to see the Amanda

on the Amanda Knox document. Oh yeah, I would watch that. I've been watching TV again. Nice. Oh. Wait. What happened to what was with Amanda Knox? She just was traveling abroad

and then her roommate got murdered by someone. Yeah, she was the main suspect. She got framed. Yeah. Did she actually, did she do it? Located. I don't know. I haven't looked into it enough.

I don't know what the general consensus is. She's like going on podcast. I think that. general consensus is that she did it. The way, well, it's like crazy that she's just not, she's like out, she's doing podcast right now. But maybe she didn't do it. I don't know. There's always a chance she didn't do it.

But I think it'd be, the way that I know for a fact, if she came on our podcast and we had her for 65 minutes, we would forget to bring up the murder. There would be no talk of the documentary or the show, the miniseries, whatever it is. We would talk about, we would talk about, uh, Della. meets we talk about like does she like stickers do we talk about just like the craziest dumbest crap and then people would be like

why didn't you ask her about killing her roommate and I'm like oh my god I just didn't come up it slipped my mind although I'll be honest that's not something that would slip my mind if we're sitting in the Kelly Clarkson's with her I'd be pretty aware of those accusations really yeah I'd be like on edge

do you think you've ever been in the same room as someone who's killed someone? I think we all have. Really? At least by accident. Like they've killed someone by accident or you were in the room with them by accident? No, that they've, we've at least been in a room with someone who's gotten a terrible car wreck. Oh, that's like bone chilling to hear.

Yeah. Do you think that you've ever been in a room of someone who has killed someone? Like murder? Like intentional murder. I mean, think about how many rooms you've been in. Yeah. Like, yeah. Concerts?

Yes. I was thinking concert, but then I was like, do you think, have you, do you think you've ever been like within? Like, trapped. Like, trap. I am I come on. Of a moidor. Yeah. I think we all have.

Really crazy to think about. And they walk among us. Yeah. I know for a fact in New York, I walk by killers every day. Yeah, you do. Yeah. Speaking of. So someone texted me this weekend and was like, not speaking of it all, by the way.

Like everyone. We're trying with the transit. and it's not what's not happening. It's like there's, the transitions aren't transitioning today. Yeah. Someone texted me this weekend and was like, hey, Connor.

And I was like, no, I'm not responding to that because I, the spam texts are getting really good. I just saw a spam text that came into someone that was like, hey, do you want to eat barbecue in the park today? I would have been like, sure. Oh, someone texted me Connor and I didn't respond and then they texted me later. I think we found

your wallet. So a wallet's been I go, holy moly, like, really? And they go, yeah. They text me, like, they're like, we found your wallet. And I'm like, okay, this is awesome. This is epic. Where are you? And they go, we're at this bar in New York. I go, okay, that tracks out. Why, like, why was it there? You know, like, whatever. They were like, it was on the ground outside. Mind you, I left it in a taxi. That's where it was. But it was being used. Like, people were using, whoever this person is, that used my card for $500 at Burger King. I hope they had a fun.

I don't know what they, what they could have gotten for $500 at Burger King, but like I hope it was fun. It was sitting outside this bar, and I'm like, okay, amazing. Like, what's your, what's your info? Like, do you still have it?

She goes, oh, no. I go, where is? She goes, honestly, we're really drunk. Like, you might want to call the bar so if it's still like outside. I was like, what? They were, okay. they weren't drunk like they were sober enough to like find you and reach out but couldn't possibly like hold on to the wallet no and i was

like did you could you could you give it to someone they're like we already left sorry okay okay thank you thank you for letting me now that was a tease obviously i called the bar and they go we don't have a wallet i'm sorry someone does i'm sorry connor it's okay i mean it was just it was like nice little tease it's always fun to have like a little bit of hope and then have it taken away from you. Yeah. Whatever. It will probably find its way back to you eventually. It always does.

Yeah. It's like a boomerang. Yeah, you know, I have so many doppelgangers. Yeah, I do know that. You know what? I would really love to have happened to me. Tell me. I think my dream is to have an older woman come out to me and say, you look,

like my late husband when he was young man. Oh, I love that. And what will you say? Let's roll play. Okay. Do it to me. Excuse me. Hello, miss.

I just have to stop you and tell you you look just like my late husband. We lost him very young. And you look like just like him when he was a boy. and I mean, I just, I just need to look at your face for a second. It's so, so handsome. Well, how late is he, miss? What time was your reservation? Connor, this is serious.

I'm just kidding. Mama. How much money do you guys? What is going on with your, your, this is serious. Okay, I would want to, I mean, like, you're deflecting with humor. I'm being very serious. This is an earnest. This is earnest.

You didn't let me finish my sentence I would want to hit it off with her And then have her leave me in her will Okay, fine Then start, okay, start over Okay, I'll be earnest You, I'm not gonna do my part again But you go into yours right now

Okay, hey, oh my gosh Like, do you have any No way, I get told I have a lot of doppelgangers I hope he was handsome Oh, he was So handsome Well, all right, you Give me a kid.

Kiss. Sugar. Okay. Okay. Here I go. Oh my gosh. How, how,

how, how, I can't even think of a word to describe your, your lips. They're so, it feels so, um,

simple. It's been a complete, nother joke. They feel, your lips feel so softy and my, my lips. I'm sorry. I don't usually get,

I don't usually get the, I don't usually get the, this worked up outside in public, but I can't help that. Your lips feel like something I've never felt before. It feels like a breeze, a vision from the past. I'm a mystery that I just can't put my finger on. Bring it back. Bring it back in.

Give Papa another one. I'm about to tap out. I've tapped out. I'll be your late husband. Come on him. Come on in, Mama. Very good. Good. Congratulations. You have just been put into the will.

Oh my gosh. Awesome. So where do we go from here? We'll be in touch. Do you need my number or anything? We will be in touch. If it's meant to be, I will guess it. What's that from? If it's meant to be, I'll guess it. I don't think it's from anything. It is. It's got to be from friends. Sounds like someone Chandler would say. Oh, it's Ross. I'm sorry. That's that. That's, that.

is my biggest red flag is how much I care for Ross. You do love Ross. Like that's my like, that's a family member of mine. You know what happened

to me the other day? What? Wait, do people like give, you know what's people I was like giving out my number because I, and this is bad because like this is why my

someone found my wallet quote unquote, but I basically gave it my number and I gave out not my real number because I couldn't get out of the situation that I was in without putting something into this person's phone. Okay. Yeah. That's not what happens.

I type in a number and it's one off. They call me in front of me. And they show me your phone. Okay. Well, at least you could be like, sorry, I was one off. Yeah. Oh, shoot. Wait, what? And I had to redo it and just bite the bullet. Are you receiving messages? Uh, no, I haven't yet, but I think that maybe they got the hint when I, you know, get the wrong number. Sorry to, like, I can't think of a transition at all, but I've been fostering a cat.

Oh my God. Yeah. How's your new family member? So her birth name is Saffron. That transformed into Lady Sifron. That's good. But mostly we've been calling her. because she doesn't really,

she's, you know, cats take a minute to warm up. She has been spending a lot of time in my office, which we call conference room B. So we, she's between me and my friends,

she's mostly just been being referred to as the woman in conference room B. And that's like all caps, kind of. Does that make sense? Like that's her whole name. Yeah. I get it.

The young woman in conference room B. I get, yeah, I get it. So she is, she's so freaking cute. It's insane. Man, is she feisty. That girl bites your hand off almost if you're not careful. How did you end up with another cat? Because I was like, I saw that she was available to foster and I was just like, I can foster her.

Why wouldn't I foster someone? And I didn't think historically the girl cats that I've met, I've not connected with. And she's a young woman. So I was like, I don't think there's a risk of me keep. her because I think I would like have a harder time if it was like a young little male tuxedo for example but I don't think you should have three cats I don't I'm not gonna have three cats okay but she has not quite yet warmed up to me the way that the relationship that she has with John and Rob I've never seen anything like it that's family like like that's family like Like the way that they for four months wouldn't go near each other. And if they did, it was extremely violent to them keeping guard over her.

Nuzzling. All of them are nuzzling at once. The boys have stopped. The boys sleep with me every night. They have not slept with me for the past three nights because they're busy guard. They're busy guard dogging the woman in conference room B. Is this challengers? It's completely challengers.

I don't know. And I'm confused because they were gay. so now I don't know if it's like family vibes or romantic or what they were gay out of necessity they didn't have any and also bisexuality is a thing

so who knows oh right but it's just it's remarkable like I'm trying to put you on the spot here is she fixed she's fixed

but like John came into my room to cuddle with me in the middle of the night for the first time I've not seen the guy he's been so fixated on Sifron she meows from the other room he goes running out of my arms to her and I'm starting to get pissed oh my god you have beef with saffron because it's like I'm who raised you who birthed you like how much I've given you and you're gonna go running when one other girl meows at you

oh my god you're like a freaky scary mom it seems that way doesn't it yo my god you're doing a Facebook post it's like this is my sweet sweet beautiful beautiful handsome boy. That is how I feel about my kid. And it's about, it's like a wedding post. It's like, with like the,

with like the bride cropped out. I'm glad they're being sweet to her, but it gets to a point. It's like, be sweet, of course, but like don't make yourself too comfortable. Do you not make yourself too comfortable. Oh my God,

that's what I want. It's all, I mean, the woman is sweet. She's a great girl. I have nothing bad to say about her. But, yeah, boys definitely. care for a pretty good bit so

oh my god brook ooh you you're being mama bear right now I am a mama bear come on mamas but she only will leave conference room B when she thinks I'm not there like when I'm in my room

so I was completely I went to get water in the middle of the night the other night and she was just sitting in the kitchen and then she immediately ran back to conference room B but it was crazy to see her there. I was like, oh my God, the young woman in conference room B. What are you from conference room B? What are you doing in the kitchen?

What are you doing in my kitchen? I should have a complete guest in the home. The young woman from conference room B, I can't stress out of that. That's so good. Oh my God. But yeah, let me know if y'all, if I, she might have a suitor that wants to adopt her.

But anyone else, let me know. She's is very adorable cat that might take a minute to warm up but who doesn't. That sounds like a movie, like a haunted movie the woman in conference room. Exactly. It's like the woman in the window

and wearing black. Yeah. The woman across the street wearing the window in the black with the dragon tattoo as well. Yeah. She is a complete and utter hoot. Oh, did you see the Venice film festival is happening right now? I did.

And like the rock. is there looking just absolutely skin skin and bones which is kind of great to see it. I didn't see skin and bones rock. I all I felt clean shaven Andrew Garfield which did you see that? No I didn't didn't come across my desk. He looks 13. Yeah he doesn't really ate how old is he? 42, 41. I think oh my god his birthday's coming up. Did I miss it? He's a Leo. No, I think it's August 20 something. I need to be put away. in a pretty significant way. Maybe.

What is it? Oh, I mean, it doesn't matter. I'll tell you on my phone. Well, I just want to say, we're hitting that. I mean, these are all coming across my desk now. Where they start doing these, like, insane standing ovations for these films. And it's like, like, Amanda Seafred, like,

it's emotional night for Amanda. She's crying as she, receives an 18-minute standing ovation. Can you think about how long... Katie Perry got the space and back faster than the standing ovation. What do you do? That's like being sung happy birthday.

What do you do... My legs would get so tired. I would say, that's good. Can you think about... Brooke, listen to this. Ready? I'm gonna... Wait.

I'm gonna do... I'm gonna do 30 seconds right now. And I want you to think about being clapped and looked at for this. Do we have to act out the whole 30? Closer to your mic. Closer to your mic. Are we acting out the whole 30? Andrew Garfield will be 43 on August 20th.

September 2nd. Okay, now think about that. Oh my God, it's not August anymore? It's September. Second. Oh, I completely freaking missed his 42nd. Okay, we've got to have that.

Oh, sorry. Well, I just want to think of it. about, I want everyone to think about receiving what I just did, but multiply it by 36. That is crazy. Thank you for putting that in perspective.

Happy to. All right, well, we can wrap it up. I need to re-up on my uceran eczema cream. Okay, I've been picking my lips pretty good bit. The way my body is beginning to completely fall apart,

I have to make two separate dog supplements today for my broken foot and my new rash. And it's like, will it ever end, you know? Closing time. Maybe I'll be thinking fondly of death and then that's a time when I won't be getting a rash anymore

or my foot won't be broken. But maybe on the other side, it's kind of nice to feel something. Yeah, it's always nice. To have a broken foot is to feel something and be present and be human. And being human can be very beautiful.

And we can leave everyone with that. I can feel gratitude while being bloated. That is, I am a man of, I'm a man of two edges of a sword. Two wolves, tap dancing in the night. Okay, you guys, thank you so much for listening. Let us know if you want another episode. Feel free to be honest. Feel free to be honest and remember that, you know,

The void is open to... Connor, if you love something, you have to let it go. Okay. We'll see you guys. Maybe next week. Oh, also, Burke and I have like the... Brooke, we have to talk about our thing we got to do. I don't know if we can.

What's next week when you're here? Oh, it will be over. Yeah. Oh, wait. Wait, no, no. We don't... We are tomorrow. No, we can't talk about it.

Oh, damn. Well, I guess... Okay. I... I... Would love if... Would love if everyone... paid attention to our

and start your Amazon Sunday if you can. Well said. Okay. Well, I will let everyone go, I guess. Unless you have anything else or? No.

Thank you, though. Okay. Well, I guess I'll let everyone go. So we will see you guys. Thanks for having us. Thanks for listening. As always, I'm Connor.

This is Brooke. We love having you guys here. I, and we'll talk soon. And I'll let everyone go. And we'll talk to you soon. So, bye guys. Enjoy more ways to save at Ralph's, like low prices in every aisle.

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