Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - Wake Me For Food

Episode Date: November 21, 2024

SUBSCRIBE TO THE NEW BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl   Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr NEW MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com  This week, Brooke and Connor talk about in-flight etiquette and Brooke’s scratch cornea. Plus, Connor preps for his big adventure across the pond and Brooke celebrates Wicked week with Jeff Goldblum’s press interviews!  Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/  Stay hydrated through the holidays and get 20% off your first order of Liquid I.V. at https://liquidiv.com with code BANDC at checkout. Give a gift that will be remembered forever, and save $10 on your first purchase at https://StoryWorth.com/bandc. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/bandc and get on your way to being your best self. Go to https://Quince.com/bandc for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 0:00 You UGGly 1:01 Intro 1:21 Going Across The Pond 3:11 Mouthful of Panties 6:03 Happy Wicked Week! 6:58 Preparing For High T(ea) 9:19 Wake Me For Food 10:10 Pooping On Planes 11:58 LiquidIV 13:49 Connor’s Flight Meals 17:02 The Balsamic Vinegar Debate 19:45 Farmer’s Market Breakthrough  23:29 Storyworth 25:13 Brooke’s Cornea  28:33 Hey Can We Talk? 30:00 People’s Sexiest Man 2024 32:38 Cute Runny Noses 33:54 Jeff Goldblum Is Kooky 35:14 BetterHelp 36:38 Influencer Accents 39:27 Cann Jokes 41:05 Connor’s Broken TV Experience 44:20 Brooke’s Book Update 48:41 Quince 50:51 Smoking Ashes 52:28 Florida Man 57:34 Functional Freeze 1:00:04 Jonathan’s Struggles 1:02:31 Connor’s Man On The Street Interview 1:04:28 Teleportion Coming Soon 1:06:13 Getting Upgraded!! 1:08:55 Comfort Shows 1:09:40 Get Connor His Plaque!!! 1:11:19 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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you ugly. Yeah, yeah, you ugly. I was like, why? Wait, we're ugly. Yeah, ugly, but not ugly. Ugly could be, you're full of,

you're overflowing with ugh. Like, no offense, you're fuggly. Hey, you're a bitch. What are you talking about? Those are fugs. Oh, fake ugs. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that. I don't know if I feel We have this conversation every year. I feel like last year when I put on my eggs, you were like pretty supportive of the fact that not everything needs to be named brand. I agree with that wholeheartedly. I just like I think what I'm, I feel like they should be platform.

Men's ugs as platforms. I think non-platform things look weird now. I'm seeing you and I'm hearing you, but I'm not standing with you. That's fine. I'm not standing with you in platforms with you. That's fine. But I love my own.

mug pieces. Yeah, they're nice. And look how short they are. Just like their mom. I need to get short ones. Yeah, maybe that too. These are a little bit massive. But it's, I feel like it's the same quality.

I don't know. I don't think so. Well, mine are bare paws. That wasn't going to work as well with my, with my step-it-up chant that I came up with on the spot. What is it? You. Oh, oh, oh. G-G.

Oh, right. Ugs. Right, you can't really even do that because yours aren't Ugs. Well, I'm going to say B, A, R P, A, A-W. I thought it was bare claws. No, bare paw. That actually works kind of still. What is the thing you said?

Do you respect the person you are when you're in the Oaks? When you put on the Oaks. When you put on the Oaks? Yeah. Do you respect the person that you are when you put on the Oaks? Oh my God, you're going to really be in Ireland to do that. Are you going to bring your fugs? Like, I kind of want to bring my fugs to Ireland.

I got to see what's going to fit in my bag. What's the temp like in Ireland? I need to look up the temp in Dublin. In Dublin. Okay, first of all, I leave tomorrow night for London. Yeah. I'm very excited, but also like, huh? Yeah.

Because I haven't had any time to be excited about going across the pond. It's such a long drive across the pond from L.A. I know. Um, I did step my, step my pussy up and, and, and, and you did at C? Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah. Yeah.

But I did it, I did it on my dad's discount. Really? Thanks. So it was. Pulling daddy strings. It was a little bit, a little tiny bit more expensive than my. Why don't you always do that then? I forget.

Connor, you have like a chip that fell out. Did it land on my shoulder by chance? No. or it landed in your panties You are absolutely obsessed with my panties Why wouldn't you always just do that? For sure this is the third week in a row Where you're talking about my panties

Keep my panties in your mouth, Brooke Why wouldn't you always just do that? Because it sometimes doesn't make sense To fly United. I only get it on United Oh, you didn't say that Well, I hadn't gotten there yet Because you kept talking about my panties And my chip that's in my panties.

Okay, your panties are in a bunch right now Be careful of your chip. Yeah, in your mouth. They're bunched up in your mouth. What the f? Seriously? Spin them out. That's disgusting.

Spin out. No, I can't. They don't fit in my mouth because my invisible line's so fucking huge right now because I'm off track and they're loose. So I can't even fit your panties in my mouth. You need to stay up on your indeslind. I need to read you this hate comment I got about my mouth. Okay.

Oh shit, where was it? You work so hard and got so far, but at the end it really doesn't even matter if you don't keep up with your Envisaline every night. No, I think it was just this week or something. Oh. Oh. Teeth, Keith are constantly moving and shuffling around. No, that's what I'm saying.

You know, it's so weird is like if you don't have Invisaline, it's like everyone else's teeth are just fully in their seat, like respecting each other's space. But like the second you introduce indesaline to your mouth, they're like, hang on, musical chairs. What? It's like, why don't teeth just sit still? Where are they constantly moving? Mine are always moving and I learned why. Why? From the dentist, orthodontists, I mean.

My bottom teeth were pressing up against my tops. How? And forcing them out, which is why I have that horse bite. Because like my bottom teeth were pressing on the top. Do your molars not touch in the back when you close your mouth? I don't know. Do it right now. They are right now.

Okay. Wait, I really wanted to find this comment. Book is looking for her hate comment. I need to go to the damn dent is so bad. However, I just have this feeling that I will never shake that I hate how many teeth I have. Like, I wish it was just all one big piece. No, this is the hate comment I got was about that I should have had a few teeth removed. I don't think I can find it.

You can type in on your photos, like teeth. I don't know if I screenshot it. But yeah, that's a good point. Anytime I'm looking for something with words, if you just quotation mark. Yeah. Like tooth. That's so true. That'll pull it up.

But I didn't screenshot it. All right. I'll find a, maybe I'll try to find it for bonus. Anywhoza, what's it? Happy Wicked Week. Oh yeah, happy Wicked Week. Yay. Happy Wicked Week.

Is it Wicked Week week because it's coming out? Wicked is coming out in L.A. On Wednesday. So I'm going to see it Wednesday. But then I think Friday for most places. Yeah. I'm so excited. I don't know. Why is L.A. getting special treatment for...

I think there's just like an AMC early access thing. I don't know if it's L.A. specific or AMC. specific. And there's only AMC's in California? No. Why would they only do it here? We have enough going on. Maybe it's other places too. Wow. I actually won't be able to...

New York. Definitely New York. In London, probably. Yeah, go. That will be so fun to do alone. I'm not going to go to the movies in London. Because I need to be having high tea all the time. When someone was... like, hey, do you want to, like, what are your feelings on high tea?

It was Maggie, Maggie was like, what are your feelings on high tea? And I was like, how would I know? And she's like, you would, I mean, like, are you open to it? And I was like, high testosterone? I was like, I wouldn't know that. Like it sounded like a TikTok. Like, you might have high tea if you blah, blah. And I was like, I don't know, man.

You like, I have high tea. You do? Yeah. Testosterone? Yes. Huh. How'd you find out? Blood.

Blood. Blood. Wow. Yeah. What does that entail? What kind of told does that take? It means that I have, like that's what PCOS is. High tea?

Is high tea and other like male, quote unquote, hormones, which is like really hot. Yeah. Yeah. I'll take some. I would love to give you some of my tea. Maybe. Like on God. Maybe we'll meet up after the show.

Yeah. Maybe we could. Yeah. I'm going to do high tea with her. Can I tell you something honest? Yeah. All of the like fancy, fancy, fancy, bougie high tea places are so disgusting. What do you mean?

Like, oh, could I interest you in a salmon lollipop covered in an eyeball glaze? Yeah, no, I'm there. I'm liquid diet only. I really can't be messing around abroad with my stomach. Truly, like they bring out the craziest things. It's like, no one. No one ever would want this. Would want that.

It was literally me and Tristan and Megan. I'm so sorry to say, I think we went to sketch, which is like the busiest one. It was a lollipop. Salmon, moose with chunks of salmon. It was an orb on a stick. And then a glaze around it that was the texture and consistency of the first layer of your eyeball. So it was an eyeball coating. Yeah.

That's nasty. Yeah. No, I'm thinking like maybe just a cup of tea for me. You could do the cup of tea. And I'll probably hold off on any sort of snacks while I have tea. Because I don't like when I, if I'm drinking a hot beverage, the only thing I want in my mouth is a, is a biscoff cookie. Right. I get that.

If I'm having tea or coffee. You could ask them to replace the salmon lolly with a biscoff. What's a biscoff? Yeah. Instead of the salmon lolly, I will do the American Airlines Bisccoff. If you can fish one out. Yeah. I have like eight packs in my bags.

I never eat them on. the plane. I put them out. Really? I've been sleeping through them. It's been so upsetting. You need to turn on your TV thing to be like wake me for food. What? You can do that. How? On like the resting screen on flights, you can change a setting to like sleep off or like wake me for food. I've never seen that. You can't. I don't want them to wake me. I want them to just leave it there in my hand. Put it in my hand. Put it in my hand while I'm sleeping. Yeah. It's like. Like, not hard. Wake me for food is just like something that would be written on the outside of like a bear den that's an hibernation. Wake me for food. That's how I feel though. Like I really want to just like,

I've already ordered my entree for my flight going out. What is it? Which would be so nice. Oh my gosh. No, I didn't press a mitt because I wanted to read off the options. Okay. On the right now. Because I'm a little bit concerned. The one thing that sounds really good is spicy. And like I just don't know if that should be something that I should be something that I'm I, the journey that I take. I know that a lot of people are like, I would never poop on a plane. I don't feel that way. I think that's why the bathroom is there.

Hello? No, no, keep talking. That's it. That's actually all I had to say. I think, depending on the length of the flight, would be. Oh, you mean you shouldn't be pooping on like an hour and a half? I just don't know why anyone would choose that journey for themselves. You have to go.

But it's kind of that, that to me reminds me of like when the train is approaching. and it's either going to hit one person or eight people, and you've chosen the eight people over the one person to me. Like the one person you love or eight strangers? Is that? What are you talking about? Is that the conundrum? Yeah.

I think it's like would you save like your sister or eight strangers? That's a morally very heavy question. Yeah, that's like what they ask you in philosophy or ethics. To me, what I would ask you is would you rather be uncomfortable for like an hour and a half or eight people smell what you had for? for breakfast so much. Okay. Hands D.

Okay. H.D. Yeah. If I don't know, if I'll never see them again. It is like a little bit, it's not even a moral dilemma for you at all. That's just kind of like.

No, I really feel like everyone poops. So like if there's a bathroom and you have to poop, like you should use it. But if I didn't have to go that bad, I wouldn't. Yeah. It would just be like if I really had to go. That was my, that was kind of the question I was raising. Yeah.

Yeah. If it was like I could hold it. Yeah. Okay. But if I couldn't, I wouldn't make myself feel bad about it. You know, and that's reminding me, I should have the seared turbot. What is turbot? A fish.

That's so weird that you would ever name a fish side and be like, do you want it seared? That sounds disgusting. That sounds like a piece of machinery. That sounds like the name of a friendly cartoon robot in a movie. Yeah. I'm not a big seared girl. No, me neither. So baby spinach tortellacci.

Tortellini? No, tortellacci. No, tortellachi. T-O-R-T-E-L-A-C-I What's Tortil-A-L-A-C-I? Chunky Pomodora sauce I don't think that we should say the word chunky You know what?

Everyone's all up in arms about moist No, chunky Wait, what word don't I like? I wrote it down You don't like chunky? Okay, hang on, words I don't like Reminds me a thrope Oh

What? Clay. What? There's one word in my list It's a snack. Like you probably meant like when saying like, oh, he's a snack. No, no, no, no. I mean literally like when someone's like, I'm just going to have a snack.

I'm like, it kind of makes me frown. I don't know. Oh. I think it's other people saying it too. Sue me. Okay, so baby spinach tortellachi, which I'm going to Google as well. What is tortellachi? Ooh, pretty.

It's a large stuffed pasta that originated in Italy. You might like it. Oh, that's looking really gorgeous. Yeah, you might like it. That angle I don't know so much about. That's kind of gross me out. Oh, that looks good. Okay, cool.

Whoa, the other one I said that looks fine. And then this one I'm thinking, ew. Seared flat iron steak. My gut is telling me don't have steak on a plane. You know what? They made a whole movie about that. Steaks on a plane. And so I don't know.

And that comes with mushroom gravy. I would say no to the mushroom gravy. Yeah. And then the last option is spicy cheese. chicken with Thai style coconut ginger sauce udon noodles and surf fried vegetables i love udon yeah that's what i'm kind of going to go with okay then that's the one you like didn't know because it was spicy but i didn't you just made the decision i didn't read the description and i love udon noodles and i love surfrived vegetables so how bad couldn't that really be on i'm looking forward to hearing about it

um and then i'm going to also just move forward with the starter should i have the tuscan sale remain salad the smoked duck tuscan sale sorry tuscan kale romaine salad uh huh Smoke duck. For the app? For the app. Smoke duck with parsnip puree and grilled granny smith apple wedges. They really know how- But they don't need to be doing parsnip puree.

Literally took the words on my mouth. You're doing too damn much. Yeah. I feel like we'd be okay with the side of, I was going to say we'd be okay with the side of parsnips, honestly, or without them. I'm not going to miss, I'm not going to say, excuse me, where's the parsnip? Oh, shit. This would have been so much better with parsnips.

Yeah, not going to realize. Or the barata. Oh, yeah, that kind of sense. But do I do barata with follow up with spicy chicken? Sorry, what are we doing right now? I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have eaten breakfast.

I think that would be like an important. Wait, I should tell you something about barata. Yeah, tell me the thing about barata that you're going to tell me. There's a restaurant by my house. It's an Italian restaurant. Yeah. They have a caprizi salad. In parentheses, they say no balsamic.

Caprici salad, no balsamic. No balsamic. Well, there's a shortage. No, it's not that. And so I, the waitress came over and I said, could I add balsamic? Like I understand that there's not balsamic on the salad as it comes. Can I please add it?

No. Because the chef wants it to be authentic Italian. And they don't quote, quote, don't do balsamic in Italy, end quote, which is a lie. They also don't cut the pizza there because apparently they don't cut the pizza in Italy, which also is a lie. Yeah. And they also wouldn't give us any mariner sauce for our fried calamari because they don't do that in Italy. if I ask them for a sauce in Italy for my fried calamari, they would give it to me. Like all of those things in Italy, if they didn't bring them initially, if I asked, they would be like, oh my God, of course.

That reminds me of. They're taking themselves so seriously. It's pissing me off. That reminds me of when people are like, oh, like, it's a dog, like your dog. Like, what do you think? How would he do this if he was in the wild? You know, they're bread, they're animals. And I go, he's not in the wild. He's not a wolf. He sleeps in a human bed. He gets his nails done.

Chef inspired, you can't say, well, he's a dog. He's like, what would he be doing in the wild? He wouldn't be in the wild. Right, it's similar to like if Brooke was a man, she'd be canceled for this. Not a man. I'm not a man. Also, I'm not in Italy. I'm not in Italy.

And if I wasn't Italy, my point is, if I wasn't Italy, they would bring me balsamic. My point also is, if you love that so much, go to Italy, chef. Anyway, don't come here and then and not make any modifications. It just me off. And let me just say the amount of effort that it took them to print all new menus with the no balsamic note, it would be easier to just get balsamic. You could have, you should have brought your own balsamic and. Oh my God. Should I bring my own trader Joe's balsamic glaze?

That sounds really good right now. That is like so mean. So ask for balsamic. They don't bring it. They give me the salad. I take the palsamic out of my purse and drizzle it in front of the waitress. I think that's fine. What are they going to do to kick you out?

Yeah. That would be a perfect scribute. I was like, I literally was just thinking that is a Larry David. See, that's enough for me to be like, I don't think I want to surround myself with people that would, that absolutely scoff at the idea of me getting a side of balsamic. Anyway, I think I just am not going to go back to that restaurant. That's what I was saying. It's so convenient and it's like pretty good food.

Yeah. But like, I can't, the no balsamic has just been keeping me up. I don't know if I would, that's what I'm saying. I think you need to remove people like that from your life. Because they're no longer serving you, quite literally. They're no longer serving you balsamic. Yeah. Sorry, it kind of got me a little heated.

I know, it is a heated topic. Do you want to hear a little breakthrough I had recently? Yeah. Okay. So I went to the farmer's market last week for the second time since I lived where I lived, and I always see it. The most unemployed thing that can happen in L.A. is how all of the farmers markets, most of the farmers markets,

are in the middle of a workday, and they're packed. They're all Sundays. No, like two of the ones, like the one in, uh, burnt one is like Wednesday. The one in Venice is on Friday. Like it's, it's like 8 a.m. to one. I'm like, who is? That's not even summer. You literally have to like not have a job to go to that farmer's market.

Anyways, I went. And I always get these bagels from this woman that I love. Literally I feel like chosen families is the woman that sells me these bagels. I feel a deep connection with her. even though she charges me full price and really doesn't talk to me that much. Yeah. So I need these cheddar jalapeno bagels and they are to die for. I posted on my Instagram story.

I saw that. So perfectly fluffy. And she bakes the jalapinos into the bread. So you're getting like little bits of like kick. And then there's cheddar. Anyways. Ready to soundtrack your summer? With Red Bull Summer all day play, you choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best.

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No ID, prescription, or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception and it won't impact your future fertility. That's Freedom to be. Use us directed. I've been so nervous. Every time I go to the farmer's market, I'm like, oh, everybody's looking at me. I feel like I'm not meant to be there. Like, I feel like I'm the outsider and like, I feel like they're like, why is he here? So I was like feeling insecure at the farmer's market. You know? Yeah.

And then I saw this meme the other day. You know girls, the show girls. I do know it. Well, that one girl that was like eat, pray love girl just like kind of just like what? Jessa. There was a picture of her from her Instagram story where she always has Q&A's and she's just like really brutally straightforward with people. Someone was like how to how to build confidence as an insecure young woman. And she goes, I think that you think.

about yourself too much. And I was like, oh, being at the farmer's market thinking everybody's... I was about to ask you how it's connecting to the cheddar jalapeno bagel. Well, I was just a side note, sidebar, but I was not the farmer's wrong. I'm like, no one gets a shit about me. Right. How narcissistic can you be to be insecure? Isn't that weird?

I feel like insecurity is almost like a narcissistic trait. Interesting take. I know. Doesn't narcissism imply that you think very highly of yourself? Narcicism in this case would be like everybody's looking at me and judging me when in reality they're not. I think narcissism implies that like you think you're more important than others. I think that there's probably more than one symptom of narcissism.

I see what you're saying. I think we're all narcissistic. Yeah. In a way. But that was kind of a breakthrough I had. I was like, okay. That's true. Like just go to the farmer's market.

No one gives a shit that you're there. Yeah. Yeah. Glad that you had that. Get your bagel. Yeah. It is absolutely bananas. Who do these people think they are the prices that they charge for blueberries?

$20. For a carton? No, I'll just go shoplift. Are you kidding me? No, I'm not going to shoplift for a carton. Granted, I got three. It's $20. But it's just blueberries.

So for three cartons of blueberries? Yeah, but they're small. Small cartons of blueberries. They shouldn't be $20. It's a fruit. I mean, yeah. Blueberries are small fruits. They're not $20.

That makes sense to me, though. If there's three cartons, like that's not crazy. This big? I mean, it's obviously expensive, but like I'm not chalked. I don't know. It's just like, I better turn into Veronica Baruka if I pay $20 for a blueberry. Oh, Baruka. No, that was Biala Boregard. Oh, my bad. The Bowergarde? That just slipped out.

Yeah, Vyla Boregarde, you're right. My, I think my cornea is messed up. I've been seeing you just blink and cry the whole time I was talking. I think I messed up my cornea really bad. I know y'all are like really disturbed by Jonathan's habits. for whatever reason, so I'm not gonna use the word suck, but...

You can use the word suck. He has a new target because it's closed off my neck for business and it's my eyeball. My eye, he like goes for my eyelids. No matter what, I do. So now I think he, like, scratched my cornea. And now I don't know what to do.

So I get an eye patch? I have one of my backpack. Do you really? Yeah. Can you get it for me right now? No, because I don't have my back back. Are you kidding? My eyes really in distress.

I literally might have it right now in my tote bag. Go get you mean an eye patch. It's right here. It's my toebags right here. So can you look inside of it? Yeah, but talk about something if you don't mind. My eye hurts. Well, luckily you can use your mouth to tell stuff under the podcast.

I'm leaving Jonathan for seven days and I like can't do it. What are you doing? Going on that cruise. Wait, what? I'm going on a cruise. You know that. With my whole family. Mm.

Yeah, I do know that. Yeah, and I have to leave Jonathan. Thankfully, as Morelda is staying with him. But, like, I really am struggling. Like, I don't see how I'm going to enjoy myself. See, like a cat, or cruise is completely the kind of thing you can bring a cat on. I don't think so. Besides the water.

I don't think it is at all. Why? I don't I think there's like a no pet policy I would assume I'm just saying like in terms of places that they could totally be yeah he would have a blast of course because you just leave him in the room but I can't like I'm not bringing him on the cruise

but is he gonna suck my neck you think close your neck off for business but he might now suck on your eyelids be careful do a double eye patch to bed he hasn't sucked off anyone else else yet. Ew, don't talk about your cat

sucking anyone off. Sorry, that's going to go on Reddit. It's going to, we're going to get flat on tube. Oh, sorry. But I'd be so curious,

Izzy. Yeah. I'm going to set up another tree for him in my room so that maybe he'll sleep on the tree instead of on your

body and your neck and your eyeballs. Sorry, I guess I left my eye patch and my eye patch. Are you kidding? No, I looked, though. Damn It's a good reminder

To bring your eye patch With you wherever you go You never know who's gonna need it That's extremely true J.D What? J.D. Stop.

Vance? J.D. Jack S does that bit Oh yeah He's always like J.D., please I've been doing that all weekend Really?

J.D. Yes. Okay. Call Tristan and say J-D. I don't want to. Why? Tristan the other day I get a text. I am, this is last Sunday.

I'm in bed. I'm so hungover. It's like 2 p.m. I'm still in bed. And I get a text from Matt King. Hey, can we talk? Hey, can we talk? I don't like how we ended things.

Dot, dot, dot. And like, I was like, oh my gosh. Hey, can we talk? I don't like how we ended things. Word for word. And I was like, oh, crap. Like, what? I said,

wait, what? Question mark? And he's like, do you seriously not remember dot, dot, dot? And then I was like, oh my gosh, how wrong did I get? Like, did I check my call log? I'm like, I didn't talk to Matt King. I check his location. I'm like, is he in New York? No, no.

And then my heart's pounding too. I'm like, what could I have done to Matt King? Finally, he texts and is like, sorry, that was Tristan. I need him to get the fuck out of my house right now. I got this too. He's like, I want him to leave my house so bad. Yeah. Oh, it was so good.

The thing is if you ask Tristan, like, there have been so many times in my house. I've been like, I think it's time for you to go. It only makes him want to stay more. You need to do like reverse psychology on Tristan to get him to leave. There's nothing that, like when he's in one of those states, there's nothing that can. I know him and Jane at like three in the morning at my house. I was like, all right, you guys. Go ahead.

Come on. Come on. Let's watch a music video. No, go home. Go home. I'm sure you noticed the publication that came out that I wasn't included in. People sexiest? People sexiest.

I just feel like we didn't address that ever. Walk us through how you're feeling. Well, I'm just, I know that it wasn't for lack of trying. I know that we had a lot of boots on the ground. Unfortunately, I think Mark Estes, the Army, the Mark Army. What? Mark Estes Army. Oh.

Must just be so much stronger, although they tend to move in silence. I'm surprised by that, as I've never heard of Mark. He dated Kristen Cavalry Who you love Oh And then we were graced With John Krasinski Absolutely having not worked

And I don't know how many Many moons Well he has been What's he been doing Quiet place and stuff But it just sucks Because I've been watching the office recently And I'm as I'm watching

I'm like that is the sexiest man Alive Jim Halper 15 years ago 15 years ago But I look at this man And I feel nothing And that is like the perfect example

of him and Chris Pratt and Parks and Rec. It's like you should have just stayed stayed as that form. You didn't have to be doing all this. But if you're happy, I'm happy for him, of course. And, you know, he's a nice guy I've heard. Have you? Yeah.

I have. Like with all. I have no negative feelings toward John Kaye, truly. What is wrong with me? Like, I look at him and I feel. I don't feel good because I miss Jim era so much. Like this just, I don't, it just makes me little upset like the kind of like Chris Pratt John Krasinski transformation like this looking at him

in the office makes me so giddy-gitty and then looking at him now I feel nothing but I don't have any negative feelings for him I just I do think he might have paid for this position aligned yeah Dumois also that's why I feel that way I already was like it it didn't like pop into my head that's a possibility until Dumas said it and I was like oh it should have been like in terms of relevance, which is I thought that was the whole thing. I thought so too, but last year was Patrick Dempsey. Timeless peace. He's a timeless piece. I don't agree. I think he lost relevance.

So he could have paid for that? You know, I told everyone that Patrick Dempsey was going to be at my Bat Mitzvah to get them there? Oh. Baut Mitzv was 13 years old? Yeah. So your big selling point for your Bob Mitzv is that a 50 year old was going to be there? Well, Patrick Dempsey and he was not 50 then. He's been 50 for a long time, I fear.

He has, but he was maybe almost. like 40 then okay yeah I think my point stands but that's good yeah doctor my dreamy you show up that's weird I know I agree I need an eye patch like bad I can't help you already told you I looked it's in my backpack backpack Connor yeah did you see me just lick the mic no I've been I don't want to say this but like I just looked and I was like my nose is fully running onto my mic sorry I'm kind of I'm kind of in that kind of mood where like it's cold out and my nose is running but in like a cute festive way I totally know you mean tis the season it's not like I'm so sick it's like and like cute little sneezes like it's like it's like yeah it's like

yeah it's like yeah it's like I'm excited for Christmas like I could almost like wipe it it with sleeve my sweater and it's not gonna like leave that mark on your sweater it's like sweet and darling yeah it's like sweet and darling and darling and indeed and indeed Like I'm blushing kind of and my nose is red. Rosia from the cold. Yeah. Adorable. Like a cute,

cute, cute, cute, not like a sickly runny nose. Oh God, no, it's like precious. Like I'm thankful for it.

It's like child like wonder. Yeah, it's like I have a runny nose. Aw. But it's like it's walking the mile in PE class. It's a walking the mile in PE class nose because it's running so slowly and softly. Yeah, it's cute.

I completely am aligned with that. But, but happy wicked week. Happy Wicked Week. And I've been watching. obviously all of the interviews leading up to it the press interviews with Jonathan Bailey

and Jeff Goldblum it's literally like us tuning the podcast those two because Jeff Goldblum has been breaking out into song. Have you seen this? I know I have seen it every five seconds literally they'll just be like and like how do you think that you would get into character

and he'll just be like she's a brick house and it's so fucking funny yeah I saw that one that one's good Yeah. He's funny. He's hysterical. He's cookey.

He's cookey. Yeah. I love him. He seems like the exact same person that he plays and everything, too. Except Apartments.com. Apartments. Yeah. I think they dropped him actually as the rep for them.

Was he apartments.com? I'm pretty sure he was Apartments.com. And now it's... Apartments. Yeah? No, that's booking.com. Booking. Yeah.

But no. Because now it's Bowen. Not Bowen, Dan Levy and that girl from S&L that I can never Remember her name. Something Gardner. Heidi Gardner. It's them.

And I hate those commercials now. They're really like 3D printed. I love Jeff. Yeah, but he's been dropped. I fear from apartment. Maybe he dropped. It seems that they went a different direction entirely. Maybe he went a different direction.

Okay. I'm trying to think of what I haven't talked about. I have something. One more thing. Okay, go ahead. I saw this video on TikTok that was this girl that was like there is this voice that some female TikTokers have developed that's like, almost kind of like a valley girl accent, but it's an internet accent.

And she was talking about how fucking annoying it is and how she like can't stand the sound of like this specific voice that these girls have developed. And then she did an imitation. It is my voice verbatim. I'm going to. It's like not even funny. The girl that made my life a living hell in high school, she had this very particular way of speaking. And I pick up on it immediately when people do it. because it's triggering for me.

I'm like, it takes me back. And it's becoming an influencer accent. It's becoming an epidemic amongst influencers. It's not necessarily an accent, but it's more like a way of speaking that's paired with, like, the traditional influencer accent. So it's kind of like, I ought to get into character for a second. It's like galley girl accent with like vocal fry,

but it's like adding this thing with the bottom of your mouth. Like a lot of like using them. You do not sound like that at all. You do. You don't. I know exactly who that sounds like. Everyone's tagging me in it. Everyone's tagging me in that.

That doesn't sound like you at all. It got 6,000 likes that said at Brooke average. I exaggerated. It was 2,000, but I rounded up. But yeah, obviously the person you're speaking about got 20K likes. Oh, my God. But I do think I sound like that. No, you don't sound like that because that's horrible.

But you Well, just know that I'm getting tagged in it I know, I think you're getting tagged in it Because that girl is from the East Coast I can hear Like genuinely I don't think my voice Like I think that by it from birth You don't have the Valley girl part of that

Have you heard the sound of my voice When I was young? I don't know because how In the in those wicked clips It's even more valley Listen to this That's my voice sounds as little Hold on

You just sound at eight No, you don't say that. Oh, I think that sounds really like Philly almost even. Yeah, like that's not Valley though. That's East Coast. But it's, there are such a fine line. No, I think that that girl, the reason it sounded like you a little bit is because of the East Coast part. Because I heard it at the first couple things she said, I was like, that sounds like a girl on East Coast, Chika.

And then when she added the Valley Girl part, I go, ding, ding, ding, ding, dingo. I'm just trying to say that I was born with it. Yeah. It's not an influencer voice. No. That sounds more like that thing when you're like, okay. Like that's what that sounds like, maybe. Do you know that there's this, sorry, I'm like going full hardcore special interest with Wicked, like in a scary way.

But do you know they go, okay, in a song? Yeah. We'll look it up in the bonus. Is it? You know what I'm talking about? What time? In dancing through your life when Fierra's like, so. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, what's the most fancified pieces in town? So, it's the awesome ballroom. Oh. You guys, I absolutely did not pick up on that last week at all. Yeah, we know. I know, and I also couldn't see you. I don't want to say this at a lot. No, no, I will.

I drank a can last night, and I thought of the funniest joke ever that someone has said, and I'm not going to take credit for it, but I was laughing really hard, and I was like, I'm going to do the joke on you. But now I don't think it's funny. Try it.

I was, had to ears my eyes last night. Try it. When I remember that someone says, what's the difference between a table and a chair? Sorry, what's the difference between a table and a chair? You don't eat off of the chair. I don't know, but what do they have in common? You can sit on both of them?

They're both not hummus. I don't hate it. I know, it's pretty funny. If you're in the right state of mind, it's absolutely mind-blownly funny. I agree. I can't imagine. That off of a can would be hysterical. Oh, y'all, I was dying.

I was crying, laughing. Also, when I got home, The other day from where was I? Oh, Indianapolis and St. Louis last weekend. My last two shows in the United States on the tour. Whoa. They're done? I'm done with the United States.

Wow. So much fun. I'm sad. Aw. I know. You could always go back out. I know. I am going to miss like it a little bit.

Are you relieved at all? It feels good to have like something done. Like there is a sense of like accomplishment. I do go to London and Dublin for the last. two shows, which is going to be a big thing. How long will you be away? Okay, chocolate chip in my chair. Where'd you come from?

I chocolateed it up. What were you even eating that had a chocolate chip? Of course, my perfect bar that needs to have candy in every flavor. It's just like, please just make it peanut water. What'd you say? How long will you be abroad? Until the second of December. So I'll be doing Thanksgiving in a pub in Dublin.

That's so fun. But this girl I talked to, I did an interview with. She was like, there's a pub that does Thanksgiving. inside of it. Oh. Oh. I'm doing a Dublin show. If anyone's listening and you're in Dublin or you're in Ireland, please come.

It's the only show that has tickets available. And there's a lot of them. Weirdly. Like, hello? I've never been to Ireland. My old roommate from college family lives out there. He's dual citizenship. Are you serious?

Yeah. They fully have accents. It's really funny. I had no idea. Yeah? But yeah, I'm, I was telling you this because, oh, so, I got home the other night. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm in a night.

I cleaned my apartment before he left. So it was like clean. I lit a candle. I drank the can. And then I sat down to like watch Happy Gilmore. I forgot my TV only works halfway. I was, I was absolutely in the right mindset too. I watched Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison on half the screen.

Two full movies on half a screen. That's fine. Sometimes all you need is the audio. Yeah. Would you rather be blind or deaf? Uh-uh. deaf. Yeah.

Me too. Yeah. But then Saturday. I need an eye patch so fucking bad though. I know. Try to just maybe close your eye because that's a built- I can close just one. You can close them both.

Relax. Take a load off. Take a load off. I'll just, I'll tell you this. So I went and to Best Buy and bought a new TV. That's my whole story. Wow. But it was awesome because the new TV.

I'm not going to hang up because You're just going to keep it on your night tables My nightstands because I don't use my night sands for anything My nightstands are a treasure trove I know of fun artifacts I don't spend any time in my bed So there's nothing that I need to like store there Like when I wake up I get it like I'm up and I'm out of my bed

And the reason no one's seen my room Is because I don't like my actual bedroom right now But I like my living room I love my bedroom I know. It's a shame I'm never in it. I know you should spend more time there. I know. People are like Brooke you need to like sit in your bed more take a load off like you're never relaxing. Take a nap for once. I know. Yeah.

Like get horizontal. You deserve it. Like once in your life like you're always go go go go go go go. But my book goes out tomorrow. I'm sorry. I've been feeling so sick and nauseous. I've probably been so annoying this episode. I feel so sick. I have a piece of throw up in my throat. A chunk. Wait, about sending your book out. I have a chunk in my throat. You are the only one that's bugged by the word chunk.

I mean, what is it? Chunk, so. Yeah. Yes. Tomorrow. Wait. It's blasting out. It's flassing out.

All your pages are being sent for like review? I have, it's 110 pages and then like 40 pages of an outline of the rest of the book. And so. What's the timeline on them reading and getting? I don't know. I think usually a few weeks, but they were like it could be a few days. but probably a few weeks. Wow.

And they said, they said, do you want us to tell you when they pass? Wait, what does pass? When they're like, not for us.

Oh. And I said, maybe not right now. Tell me. But like someone, obviously people are going to pass. And I'm like, going to try not to take it personally,

but I'm scared that I'm going to like look at my books and like who the publishers are of every book I read in the future and not read the ones that pass on me, even though I'm going to try to be really good. You're going to Brookecott. I might be, Brooke Cotting. No, I'm not going to take it personally. I've never taken anything personally.

No, it's not like you. That's good. So I'll probably, it'll probably be a no stress type of situation. That's exciting. Get business done with the new American Express Graphite business cash unlimited card. With unlimited 2% cash back on all eligible purchases. Unlimited 5% cash back on flights and prepaid hotels booked through American Express travel online and a flexible spending capacity that can grow with your business. You'll have the confidence to keep building. Apply today and earn a welcome offer of $1,500 cash back after you spend $50,000 in qualifying purchases on your new card within the first six months of card membership. Terms apply, learn more at go.mx slash graphite. Expedia and visit Scotland invite you to come experience the beauty that awaits in Scotland. The sweep of wild coastlines, quiet locks and untamed landscapes.

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Like, oh my God, should I throw up? Poltrigg. This is the scariest, I think this is the scariest thing. That's exciting. That's exciting. And you know what's great

about writing a book? What? Like, this is the scariest. person it's so personal to you but you could write 10 more. I know it's just like an endless fountain of pulling things out of your brain. Well hopefully if your intellectual property if a publisher buys it it will be a two book deal. But what's crazy is our next episode we're recording tomorrow so obviously we won't have any information then but the next time I see you after Thanksgiving we'll probably know something. That's exciting. Isn't that scary? Wow that is scary. I just got like a

I'm a little bit queased too myself. Yeah. So I'm really queasy. Sorry if I've been like so annoying. I'm like completely all over the place. What did I say like two episodes ago? It's a really transfer. Oh, but we have to manifest.

Yeah. Oh yeah. Say what you want to say. I hope that it gets published. That's not at all manifesting. That's hoping. I, it will get published. Yeah, it'll get picked up by Simon & Schuster.

By so many. By all of them, except a few. Because they're always all great books. books people pass on. You also kind of don't want options either because that would be paralyzing to be like, oh my gosh, I have to pick between six. I do want some options. Two. Maybe six to eight. How many are there? I think like maybe like 10 to 12 or 10 to 15. It's going to be great. Thanks, Connor. At least you know someone will pick it up out of 15. I don't know that. But they will. In this space, 150 percent they will.

That's exciting. And you know how I was saying that I fell in love with one of the characters that I wrote like really badly and it was becoming unhealthy? I got some feedback on him as a young man and have to completely rework him because they said he was really unrealistic and that no one would behave that way. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. Because the main girl is like crazy and every single thing she did.

He was like, babe, it's fine. I'm, I'm in love with you. And I was like, that feels good to me. and then the feedback was this isn't um this would never happen so that's good too it's fantasy yeah so that's been altered so that's good that'll be good when you reread it and you're like oh he's normal yeah but i miss him that's natural yeah it's only natural if you love something like like that you have to let it go yeah yeah i love something what do you love that that's chocolate chip I founded my in my seat eat it no it's not if you love something you have to let it go maybe not eat it

but then it'll be a part of you forever no trust me it won't be a part of me forever if like your loved one died would you eat their ashes in a pill so they would be part of you forever no is that something that people do no they should you're gonna poop it out I don't want my loved one to travel through my body like Mrs. Frizzle. How fun would that be, though? How would you sleep at night as well? With Jonathan sucking on my eyelid. Sorry.

You might have like a serious disease. I do? Rosanna Pantia reveals she's smoking her dad's ashes and new Instagram story. His dying wish was to be grown into a cannabis plant. plant and be smoked. Oh, who is this young woman? She's a chef. Oh my god. Well, I will say Willie Nelson. That's a great idea. Willie Nelson's song, roll me up and smoke me when I die. Yeah. Like maybe. I want my, I want my grandkids to do that. To me, I kind of felt like that was more of a play on words and less so. Smoke my body, inhale my body into your lungs. But who am I to say?

Right. Different strokes for different folks. She seems to be. enjoying smoking the father. I think that that's going to really start to pick up now. My mom would fucking kill me in the afterlife if I was rolling up a joint with her cremated body. She'd be like, well, I'm haunting you now. She'd be so mad. Baby, if I'm haunting you.

Speaking of consuming other people, I just watched this show, Florida, comma, man. It's Florida man. and like it was just like on my TV last night and it's like stories and it must be made by the drunk history person that made that because it's like reenactments but it's all famous people doing the reenactments

but it's true stories and this guy was saying he really needed to go to a bass nectar concert in Colorado but he was broke so he got on Craigslist and typed in like I'm willing to do whatever within reason for some cash and he said he got a lot of like sexual things and finally he got one that wasn't sexual but he was like can I give you a call?

It's my biggest fantasy. And he, he, he gets on the phone with this person and they say, I want you to cut off one of my toes and eat it in front of me. Yeah. Like fry it up and eat it. Don't worry. It's not sexual. Yeah. I want you to eat my toe. And the guy was justifying it that like is telling the story. Like, I mean like, in the moment, I kind of just was picturing myself in Colorado at Bay Sector with my friends. And like, that's where. And I was just like, and. And he said he got to the guy's house and he was like a very normal well-adjusted man.

Good looking. Ooh. Single. But then he pussyed out right before he was about to cut the toe off. Right. Because he was a karate teacher and he's like, I don't know how I'd explain it to the kids. Why I'm missing three toes. Wait, the guy pussyed out?

The guy that hired? The guy that hired. Oh. So did he get the money or no? the guy ended up giving him the money for showing up. Yeah, that's, I would, yeah, that's sweet. And at the end, it's $4,000. Oh my God.

Yeah. Like, at the end, he was like, I still, every now and then get on Craigslist and type in, like, I'm strapped for cash. I will do whatever. And he said, every now and then I get a message that's worded. And I know it's Stephen. And he'll message back and be like, hey, Stephen, it's me. You remember me? How's it going?

And he's like, good. You want to give it another try? Because like, I'm ready now. Why does he want that? I wonder what is driving him. They had a sexual, like, intimacy expert also speaking on the matter. I'd love to hear. And she was like, the reason he backed out last minute is because people like the fantasy.

My reason is, my question is why does he want it in the first place? Because it's a, it's a sexual fantasy. Sure. Like, where is it coming? Mental illness. No, I know. But, like, what, like, what happened to him? in the past or what is going on in his brain.

The intimacy expert was like, it's a normal thing to have a fantasy about that, but as soon as it becomes real for people, they get timid and they back out. Hold on. I bet I've watched enough criminal minds to try to figure out. Okay, let me put myself in the mind. Of someone that wants.

Of someone that wants someone else to cut off and eat their toes. Ew, and they kept showing, obviously, fake toes, like rolling around in butter on a frying pan. Maybe that's something his parents used to do. eat each other's toes to other maybe they were unsubs and they did that to others I could definitely see it

stemming from childhood trauma for sure but I don't know the craziest part of the whole story is literally the guy being like I needed to go to base nectar so like I feel like the craziest part of the story is the guy that wants someone else to cut off his toes

and eat them I think it's crazier to justify as another person like driving over to someone's house and being like all right time to eat a towel Here's a question. You come across that. For concert tickets. You come across that Craigslist ad.

Sure. Of someone saying I'll literally do whatever. What would you have that person do for you? Great question, Brooke. And like, is this something where it's like, okay, no one ever finds out what? Yes. Okay. I don't have any.

I only have 10 toes, you know, so it's like, but I don't have anything that depraved. Sorry to for anyone interested in toe eating. I don't have anything like that. What would I have them do? I probably would have them go through all of my clothes and help me get rid of stuff and then drive it to goodwill. I was about to say I'd have someone put my couch together finally. Yeah. Like something that is just like weigh the weight of it.

Yeah. And do all my laundry and then hang it back up so I can start like from the beginning. Yeah. Get you back to round zero. Yeah. That's what I would have them do. Yeah. Which is just like something that I could do.

I also could hire a task grab I put my couch together too but I don't think they would they get it crazy at my age like it would benefit me so much for my mom

to come visit and help me with my clothes she would your parents come visit all the time they don't like LA though so they don't spend any time up here

but they would if your mom if you asked your mom she would I think so too I should ask my mom she's a sweetheart yeah

you want to hear about this thing that I heard Amy Poehler and Kiki Pomer talk about on their podcast they have a podcast? No. Yeah. So Amy Poehler was talking about functional freeze. Have you heard of functional freeze? I exist in a functional freeze. Has someone else given you like that insight or did you?

Talk. I mean, this was on Amy's Instagram, but yes. Functional freeze is where you are really high performing, high functioning at work. And then as soon as you're able to go home and relax, like you're like this. like you just go absolutely cross-eyed brain doesn't work you're not reading you're just literally like your brain shuts off it's a frozen state and I just found out like I will look at the wall for literally 20 minutes and they'd be like whoa what was that functional phrase I have I think what I have is more of like functional depression where it's like you don't even like feel depressed but like and I can do everything that I have to do but when it comes to like the little things it's just like there's no way. Like there is no way I can pick up that pair of pants that I've walked by

18 times. It's impossible. But like I can go to work and perform well. Yeah. But like I can't wash my face. I'll die. I get it. Oh my gosh. It reminds me of a saying that I just saw. What? The weight of life's challenges aren't meant to be paralyzing. They're meant to help you grow. And that's about you picking those pants up. But like I can do big things. And, Like I could write a book. I can't pick my pants up. No. Oh,

you inspired me, by the way. I got a desktop computer. Oh my God, I want one too. Yeah, it's really nice. The only thing is like,

as someone... Like an IMac? Yeah. It's my parents' old one that they were getting out of. Whoa. My dad shipped it to me. That's really sweet.

I know. I had to go get a keyboard. Where'd you put it? $150. I'm like, I don't want to do this that bad. It's on my dining room table. That's the thing about...

You know, I'm not... I'm not having guests over to dine. You know, like, that's a fine place for a computer to be. It is a little bit upsetting, though, not to have a desk to put your computer on, because I don't have the space. I told you I'm fully redoing that backroom to be, like, a study. Yeah, with that girl, right?

Yeah. She's going to redo it all nice and pretty for me, and it's going to be, like, a reading. When is she doing that? January. That's exciting. Fresh new start. Fresh new start. I will say, Connor.

I got the litter robot for Jonathan, which is, like, a very expensive. robot that scoops the litter for you and empties it into a bin at the bottom so you never have to scoop litter. I get ads for it for some reason. You just have to take out the bag of of. Don't tell us that you're not taking the bag of poop out. I am taking the bag of poop out, but you literally rarely have to like once every three weeks. And the whole point is that you don't have to scoop litter and it doesn't smell.

Unfortunately, mine like literally reeks like beyond belief in a way that is out of this world you wouldn't believe um i think it's it's jonathan my little sweet baby boy um just has like a powerful stomach so it's been challenging for us in the litter robot is he when you watch him you just don't have to go in that room at all yeah i just keep it open like open to sliver so he can get in and out but that's his room now that's disgusting and i i've cleaned it um yeah He's so he's the best. Sounds really awesome. He sounds like a great roommate.

No, you haven't even met him yet. He's like he would be, he's addictive. He's the best boy in the world. Not having an animal in my house is really just killer. Like it's like, why am I here? I agree. I don't know how I went without a cat for so long. The thing about having a dog that's like different is like when I'm outside and I'm walking,

it's like this almost feels weird that I'm walking and for what? Without him? Yeah. I feel like a pervert without a dog I'm walking around like where are you going I'm going

I'm on walk I wish I could take Jonathan for walks I guess I could You could get one of those backpacks I'm like so scared to take him out of the house Yeah let him get a little bigger and less like

So small Spazzy Yeah I think I'm gonna have to get another cat If you feel called To get another smelly cat Smelly cat Smelly cat

Smelly cat I have one thing that I want to talk about out really quick before we were about to wrap. But he smells so good. It's crazy. Except his ass and stomach in that entire room. It's just the litter box. He himself smells like a baby. Yeah, that's nice though. Because he's on your face and making out with your eye.

Not making, don't make it sexual. Oh, sorry, sucking. Sucking on your eye, my bed. So did you see, you saw the man on the street interview that I did in New York. Yes. Okay. Tell us about it. Well, I saw that you commented, oh, by the way, most viewed video on that guy's page. Like, what did you, what are your thoughts?

You were being so shy. I was. That was the day that I said, I was so hungover. I wanted to die. And I'm like, literally like walking, and I'm walking in slow motion. And he's like, hey, and I'm like, hey, man. So was that completely? You had no idea he was coming up to you?

No, I thought it was, I literally, I've never seen that guy. I know there's a couple of people that do that now. Yeah, there's tons. So I, like, was like, like, what? And he's like, oh, what do you do for a living? And I was like, oh my gosh, can't believe we're doing this right now. I said I can't believe we're doing this right now because specifically I was like really in just wanting to lay down and be alone. And I was literally walking to get a coffee.

And that was going to wake me up a little bit, a little more perky. But at that point, I was just tired and just like beat up. And he was asking me all these questions. I literally couldn't finish a sentence. And I was being timid. You were being timid. shy. And shy. But everyone took it as charming. I know. It was really sweet. I genuinely meant what I said. Yeah. Would you say? Aw. Yeah. Connor, I really meant it. No, I was feeling a little bit. I really was

hoping he'd be like, hey man, I'm spreading positivity. Do you want to hug? I would have accepted. Really? Yeah. Because it really just needed to be in a baby Bjorn. Yeah. I love that video, truly. Everyone thinks it was a fake. And I was like, you think I would fake that timid, shy. I've never seen you like that. No, it was broken. I love it though. Yeah, that was, that was real funny. But everyone was like, I need you to, can't wait to hear about this on the pot.

I'm like, nothing to say. Yeah, not much. Except, chow, all. Ciao, Bella. I hear a horrible thing that I was thinking about. Teleportation. Why horrible? Just like, I know that it's going to be available to us, not even to us, but our grandkids will be like, you used to go to the airport and find.

a plane. It used to take you all day to get to like New York. And now they just go, I'm in Paris. You know what they call that in the Akatar world? What? Winnowing. What's winnowing? Yeah. Okay.

It's good to make up words. Yeah. Winnowing. I'm just, you don't think about that? Like, wow, how much technology that people... It's insane. Like, if I had the ability to teleport, I'd never take a step again. I'd never use my legs again.

Well, you'd have to walk over to your portal. You wouldn't be magic. Oh, I thought I was magic. I'm sorry. No. teleportation, I think, would require a portal. They're going to be so expensive. And it's going to create like another type of like class distinction.

Like only the rich can teleport. It's going to create a whole thing. I know. Taylor Swift plane is going to be without meaning, without life. She could do a hundred, a thousand shows in a day. But honestly, maybe it would save a lot of fuel or maybe it uses 18 times the amount. That's the same thing like, what is it called? mining of Bitcoin mining or whatever like like uses so much fuel I'm like how is it using fuel

how is it using fuel AI uses a lot of fuel how weird is that yeah I heard that gas leave us out of this like a guy with a little bit of a cute runny nose shouldn't have to worry about fossil fuels you know yeah jd I should I should be able to have some soup yeah today oh I can't say that why there's just no point because I have to say something that would Here's something that I'll talk about And I'm going to quit right here So I got upgraded on Delta

To like I'm silver medallion now Because of how much I've been flying So it's been they've been saying You got upgraded You got up for the first time ever In my adult life My phone lit lot up And was like

You've been upgraded I was like yes Even though like I got a window seat And I was pretty happy with my seat but I was like I love to be upgraded Yeah It was for a connecting flight The first flight was at 6 a.m. out of

Indianapolis to St. Louis Was it one of those planes that were like this big A small plane But they moves me up to a middle seat Yeah Like front row middle seat Where seat like everyone's looking at me And I'm sitting in between two people

Yeah And I was like wow Thank you This sucks but like learning moment Like I'm not gonna opt in to the up to the upgrade anymore. So lesson learned. Next flight.

You've been upgraded. Immediately, my experience has left my brain. I'm like, yeah, I'm upgraded. Middle seat. Exact same seat, middle seat. Next to the bathroom this time. And the worst part is that there was no overhead space for me there. So I had to put my bag in the back and the overhead space.

Oh, my gosh. I was sitting there, middle seat, middle seat, middle seat, couldn't even get off the plane, which is the one benefit for being upgraded for me was that I could get off earlier. Couldn't even waited until the very end. Connor, that's really funny. It felt like I was like on a show, like punked. I don't have anything else to say besides that's hysterical. It was crazy. I like that you did it again.

That's my favorite part of the story. Just immediately I was like, e-hee! I'm like, I'm like, I'm good. I feel like there's an episode of SpongeBob like that or something. Like immediately forget everything bad that had. And it was like, and it was a tight connection. It was like I got off the plane, walked to the other gate, got a water bottle and got on the plane. Immediately, I'm like, ah!

I'm so lucky! I love that. Did you see Spirit Airlines filed for bankruptcy this morning? I did. I thought that was a few days ago. Oh, it could have been. Maybe they were talking about it a few days ago. No, because I got the email today from their founder.

Yeah, what exactly does that mean for them? Ted Chrissy emailed me. It just means. The same thing as anyone, like, finally bankruptcy. It just means, like, it gets you out of your debt temporarily. I think that's what bankruptcy is. I declare bankruptcy. I've been watching a lot of the offices.

I've been in hotels and, like, that's a comfort show in a hotel. It's just, like, on every block of TV on TV guide is, like, office, office, office, office, and modern family, modern family, modern family, modern family. I love modern family. I don't have the affinity towards Jim and Pam that you have. I have, like, get the hell away from me. I'm not like obsessed beyond belief with them. I'm not like a huge Pam girl.

I think Jim is like a narcissistic dick that like loves himself. In season nine only. I don't know. The whole time. Or eight is eight or nine. Just really smug. Jimmy's just really smugged to me. Smug and arrogant.

Smudge. Smudge. Yeah. No. Have you not seen the buttlicker scene? That's the best scene in all of the office. We'll have to watch in bonus. Yeah, I'd like to watch buttlicker in the office.

Okay. Let's watch buttlicker. We'll just close us up. off by saying buttlicker. And also welcome to Brooklyn Connor make a podcast. As always. And goodbye. I'm going to do an iPatch for the bonus, makeshift.

Okay, cool. Okay, cool. So join us to the bonus if you want to. I'm not going to ask you guys again, subscribe to the YouTube channel. This is some sick and twisted joke. The fact that we can't hit. Please get Connor his plaque. I just want the effing plaque because now you know that YouTube made them smaller now,

so we don't even get the big one. Please, before it gets any. smaller. It's just going to keep you any smaller until it's just like a pin on my shirt, like a broach. And I would still would love that as well. Yeah. It's okay to just subscribe. Sometimes that's okay. Let me see. We're at 90,000. So just like, yeah, it would just be great if 10,000 of you could simply push a button. We would appreciate it. And guess what? Our new YouTube video by today, it'll be a little bit old news. But not for you if you're hearing about it for the first time. We have a YouTube video out right now. It's Brooke Connor make a game show. We, um, yeah, so you could say that again.

Izzy literally brought in like a bunch of kids for us to do this. So go watch it. It's absolutely hilarious. They're Loki. It was so fun. Yeah, we kicked their butts. It was so fun. But truly. It was nice to be teacher Brooke again for a second. You were teacher Brooke. I absolutely couldn't finish a sentence. I, oh, no one could. I knew a couple of the answers. Definitely knew a couple. Go check it out. It's pretty funny. Bye you guys. Thank you so much for listening and we'll see you next week, even though we're recording it tomorrow. Bye. Bye.

This week on close friends. Don't finger your tooth holes with your tongue. Lettuce, tomato, oil. You see them once and then you're like, I need to fuck them. Yeah, I don't think of things as problems. But you like to complain. Yes. Do you stand at the fridge, fisting dill pickles?

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