Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast - Welcome To The Bozo Bar

Episode Date: June 6, 2024

SUBSCRIBE TO THE NEW BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl   Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr NEW MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com  This week, Brooke and Connor discuss why New York is maybe better than LA, how to match each other’s freak, and the ultimate dating icks.Plus, Brooke shows off her brand new toy, while Connor gives his top feminist takes for his presidential campaign.  Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/  Head to https://factormeals.com/bandc50 and use code bandc50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active! Head to https://www.squarespace.com/BANDC to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code BANDC. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/bandc and get on your way to being your best self. Get the dog DNA test that is trusted by millions. Go to https://Embarkvet.com to get free shipping and save $50 with promo code BANDC.  Max’s results: https://my.embarkvet.com/dog/max10357  B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron  CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. 0:00 Drinking Canns 2:01 Intro 2:22 Taking Over The FYP 5:00 Brooke's Cortisol Levels 6:04 Frankie PSA 8:32 Apartment Content 10:24 Factor 11:50 Making A Home A HOME 13:34 Hello Shark Vacuum  15:52 Connor's Task Rabbit 19:37 Doggy Libido  21:41 Squarespace 22:24 Doggy Blue Chew 25:00 Taking The CA Driver's Test 28:15 Subleasing In NY 31:13 Stealing Hat Mode 33:19 Brooke's Crush Nightmare 33:50 BetterHelp 35:20 Fib's Feminist Takes 40:20 Gum To The Fact 42:00 Getting Carbon Monoxide Poisioning 45:00 Smoked Salmon Eyeballs 45:43 Embark 48:15 Sucking Eyeballs 50:03 The Truth About Charlotte 52:24 Brittany's Royal Court 53:57 Brooke's Unique Life 56:10 Consuming Old Content 58:15 Have You Seen... 1:02:05 Sold Out Shows!!! Kinda 1:03:10 Bali Belly 1:05:10 Fully Body Scams 1:07:21 Ew. Ew. Ew. 1:10:01 New Psychotic Studies 1:13:39 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan. It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation. Plan B is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like DoorDash. No ID, prescription, or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception, and it won't impact your future fertility. That's Freedom to Be. Use us directed. I'm drinking this can because I've really been like almost a dropping sack, dropping the ball on being funny the past couple episodes.

Now I'm putting it in God's hands. I don't think you have. But also I'm going to drink it too. Yeah. I pray I don't go nonverbal. I don't think I will. Oh, these are teeny tiny. You brought the grapefruit rosemary.

Yeah, of course I went with the grapefruit rosemary. That's canned? Yeah. Why? No, I'm sorry. Okay. Sorry. I would love if they would send us some because they're literally $60.

They are like I had one, are they? Yeah, they're so expensive. I had one like at a party like a not so much party but social event and like it was great. It's awesome. Like oh, I need to go sit in the corner and put a sleeping mask on my face. You're going to want to open it. I'm gonna. I definitely am gonna.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I thought. Do you, have you ever thought for like one second how powerful. I'd be without exhaustion and brain fog. Well then, yeah, well, no, because there'd be nothing standing in your way. That would, like, if there was nothing, if I wasn't standing in my own way, I literally could

be president. I really do believe that. Would you want to be president? No, but I really. Thank God for rain fog and exhaustion. Or else you'd be too much, you'd be too much on your plate. It'd be like ant man. You would end up, you know what, you and brain fog and exhaustion would have find each other

in every life. Yeah. That's romantic. Yeah. It kind of is. Yeah. Because you know what happened if you didn't have brain fog and exhaustion right off the bat, right out the womb? What?

You would become president. And then somewhere in your term, you'd be like, I'm exhausted and I have brain fog. Right. It would catch up with me one way or another. But luckily, I was born with it. Thank you. You know, I had to be woken up for my nap in kindergarten once all the kids already were playing for an hour. Really?

Yeah, I was drained. Naturally. Um Girl If you don't Wait Um When you were talking about brain fog

And exhaustion Is everybody else's FYP on TikTok Just us Sorry Just us Oh me and you I literally keep

I'm only getting Brooklyn Connor stuff And I think a lot of other people are too I've noticed that as well No It's it's me A video of yours from October 2020 Um

And then... My pool videos are popping off. No, so are mine. Yeah. Oh, Logan's of you? Yeah. It's crazy. I don't know what's going on.

Is your phone case a picture of me? No, it's a... Check out this young man. That's my phone case. You would look cute in this outfit. I had that out. Yeah. I was like, oh, Berkey, you shouldn't have.

Isn't that sweet? You really shouldn't have. Wait, this is what I was going to tell you. On the FYP recently, it's been old videos of us. Yeah. and then someone will come on my screen and be like, all right, and this is like a creator earns commission video.

Sure. From the TikTok shop. All right. If you've experienced hunger, fatigue, exhaustion, brain fog, headache, toe ache, stomach problems, knee problems. If you've had, if you've woken up in the middle of the night, if you've ever sweat before, if you've ever been thinking too much,

if you're overactive thinking, if you've had to call your mom because you didn't remember the recipe, if you've experienced anything ever in your life, you need to get this product from the TikTok shop. Yeah. They just go through every symptom you could ever have. That's also like if you've had

and then insert any symptom, like you have like ADHD, ADHD, OCD, like just like handing out diagnoses as well. I know, but these products, they keep getting my ass. Oh, they're getting your. they're getting your ass. It's kind of like when you get your palm red.

And it's like, oh, it looks like you, do you have a mother? I'm like, I do. Like, how did you get that from my palm? But they did one where it was like, yes, brain fog. Yes, brain fog. Oh, was it a pill? It's a pill.

What is it? It's coconut. Is it Ashwaganda? It's coconut oil pills with vitamin D3 and K something. And like, I know from having. asked my doctor friends, you don't need to take supplements and vitamins unless your body has a deficiency in those certain vitamins. Like if you have a deficiency in vitamin D, it can affect your cortisol levels is what I'm hearing. Did you, I sent you a snapshot of my cortisol levels. What is your

when I, because I just got my blood tested. Like I've never, she said I have the, my doctor said I have the cortisol levels of like someone who just got back from war. Which it's like, well yeah, You're so annoying. It's like you're literally fine. Like you're sitting in bed on your iPad. There's no need to be having a PTSD response right now. It's frustrating. What is cortisol stress?

Yeah, stress hormone. Wow. Damn. Veteran. Brooke, lady veteran. I wouldn't do well in the military. I think you'd be fine. I think you would really do fine.

Do you? No. You'd be dead as adorable. knob girl you know is that going to be your tick today well is girl going to be yeah i i cannot stop walking into my kitchen where frankie just sits paralyzed staring at me and going girl girl please um speaking of frankie you guys go ahead you guys know how much i love that woman like she means a lot to me um we've been through thick and thin we've been together for a year and a half i am i'm moving I got a new apartment.

I'm so excited. It's gorgeous. And I think I'm kind of wanting to start a new chapter in my life of maybe getting a pet that wants to be held and like loves me and stuff like that. So I'm considering maybe giving Frankie to a person who loves guinea pigs and maybe has another guinea pig to so she can maybe try out having a friend. liked having friends in the past, but maybe she will this time. So if you guys are interested in housing Frankie in giving me visitation rights so I can start this next chapter of having a pet that might love me, let me know. But I'm also not going to give her to anyone that's not a perfect fit. And I also would love to keep her in my life too. But and I'll also probably just just keep her. I'm just thinking

of what's best for both of us. And it would be nice to have to like be able to hold a pet. Yeah. Yeah, that you're me when I got my two snakes. But I also think, like, I never thought I would, like, be a rehomer, you know? No one ever does. But I think this is an intricquy circumstance of the beginning pig. You also didn't anticipate your career blowing up in such a way where you need to focus more on your career and less on your hamster. I also am worried about because I love that she has space to free room. But the apartment I'm moving into is, like, really, like, old and beautiful.

and like the landlord like is like care so deeply about it and she lived there and like it's her baby and Frankie eats the walls and so I really like want to be very careful and I don't want to like confine her again is an outdoor guinea pig there is yeah maybe there's like farms and stuff but I would really I don't want her to not be in my life well you can go into your backyard I don't have a backyard they're not giving there's no backyard no not really front yard but I also I just want her to I don't know you guys I'm conflicted maybe someone I hope I hope yeah reach out a few serious inquiries only but also no don't don't also no worries at all if not also yeah totally no worries and we will just be moving forward with doing what's best for Frankie yes yeah that's very mature

decision thank you based on the floor boards yeah I really you guys will I love my new apartment it's gorgeous it's not my apartment it's our apartment it's a timeless piece. It's a timeless piece. This space is gorgeous. Yeah. She sent me pictures yesterday. It's really, I'm really like, and I'm wanting to do like apartment content. Okay, you should because I started posting on my Snapchat. If anyone wants to add my Snapchat, it's a real, it's a real, it's a real, what's the opposite of tasteful? Distasteful view of my weekends, but kind of a tasteful view at my week. Yeah. No, you are doing engor. engorge you're doing engorged you're doing engorged interior design oh my interior design is engorged you guys it is it's inflamed it's engorged yeah i'm working hard because i'm a singer yeah i'm working late as well

because i'm a singer as well yeah um but i've been pushing a lot of that on there because this is like completely off topic and we you need to reel me back in after i say this i had an inbound for a for a for a photo shoot for like an home like in garden thing It's not like actual Harmon Garden, but it's... Harmon Gardner. It's an actual Harmon Garden right now. We're not doing Herman Garden today. We're doing Herman Garden somewhere in the future.

Yeah. Yeah. Because while I do have both a home and a garden, they're not interested in entering me quite yet. But so I thought it was yesterday, well, Monday. Yeah. And so I spent the whole weekend. I'm at Drifts, like antique.

stores. I'm getting all these these plants. I got plants put around. I'm like, let's make this house at home, y'all. And then they're like, it's, yeah, it's going to be on the 25th of this month, not yesterday. Okay. So now my home is home. Let's just leave it at that. That's exciting. Yeah, it feels nice. I got to, you saw, I built a new bed frame. It looks, it really does look beautiful. I do want to feel like I'm in a home rather than, I still have that like, almost like post-college apartment I'm constantly moving in. You've got a pile of junk over here. I finally got rid of so much crap.

I like took stuff to the dump. The dump? The dump. I packed up my car and I went to the dump. Whoa. Yeah. And do you remember that commercial to the dump? Yeah.

That was literally stuck in my head when I was going there. I got rid of all this crap where I was like, oh, maybe I'll use this other bed frame down the road. Get rid of the other bed frame. let it go I was unshackled from my old bed frame and I got this new bed frame I showed you a Snapchat I posted you on my Snapchat too

and it like lifts like a like a crypt yeah like a what crypt like a tomb not the gang like a tomb but it's for storage and the whole mattress lifts

and it's on like um zz zh it's on these things they go they fill up with air what are those called?

Hydraulics Hydraulics and they're on her drillers what is going on with your speech today I don't know I really haven't

anyways what I was going to say is I reset my whole I did like an actual legit Sunday reset because I didn't do Didley on Saturday so Sunday I woke up

and I was like oh I'm like clean guys I got a vacuum I got a vacuum Sorry, this is all super exciting to me today for some reason. I got a vacuum. And I got a vacuum. I got a vacuum full of dog here.

I got a vacuum. It is the most incredible vacuum I've ever used. It's like little, you charge it for a second. That's the name. It's a shark vacuum. Hello sharks. The vacuum. So I'm vacuuming my whole place.

And I go on before I built my new bed frame, I vacuumed. underneath where the old bed frame was Martha Stewart like that's incredible that is that's an act of genuine valor for me to do that and I do it and I'm like what is that amazing smell what is that amazing smell oh my God it's putting out this shark vacuum has like an air freshener built in the fresh as it goes that's insane that shit'll make a pussy throb I actually can't even begin to even begin to begin describing don't even bother the way that my dust buster is because it's like you know one of those like you can see what has been sucked into it via like clear vestibule yes that vestibule of all i don't even know if that's

how you use that's fun it might be holding space like little frankie poops yeah it's it goes crazy mode that's like it's like it's a maraca if you imagine imagine like a little tiny person if they lived in a world where poop guinea pig poop was currency And they could get in there at the fair and try to catch as much as they could as it was blowing. I lived in a world where guinea pig poop was currency. You'd be Elon Musk. I would be the richest woman in the world. Hey, who's the richest woman in the world?

It's Amazon's Jeff Bezos's ex-wife, right? McKinsey. Oh, it's French West. Betancourt Myers, of course. And what does she do? She's the wealthiest woman on the planet. She inherited. From Lily and Bettencourt.

Oh, yeah. What did Lillian do? Oh, L'Oreal. Oh, wow, that's good. No tears. No tears. No tears. No tears.

No tears for the Betancourt. Anyways. Anyways. The vacuum is great. Listen to this. Okay. I'll keep going. Yeah.

So I didn't build the bed frame. I want to be totally frank. I disassembled my old one and I used TaskRabbit for the first time. That's great that you were even able to disassemble the old one. It was so easy. I was embarrassed to have someone come over and, and, you know, Unhooked two pieces. I can do that So he came over and like didn't really speak any English

He was French or something. He was probably a bet in court and he Was building this bed frame and then like 10 minutes in I had to leave Which like I didn't know I don't know the rules I've got a good vibe from him so I was like I'm gonna leave this guy in my apartment for however long it takes to Because as a man I can't sit there and watch another man build my bed frame like I need to help him, but I was like I'm like I'm Like, you're paying him to do this. Leave him to do his work. So I left a man I had just met that had not been vetted by anybody besides to ask a guy, but I hope to just hang out in my apartment.

Now, I was about to leave and he goes, can I use your restroom? And I was like, sure. And did he use my restroom? He was in there for 25 minutes. Were there aftershocks? I don't know if like the initial shock. the initial asquake had set off the systems because I don't have like a great sewage system. Yeah.

I found out. But I was like, I wonder if he had like broken the toilet. And then so then I was like, should I check on him? Because I want him to know that like that's not a unique experience. Uh-huh. That has happened in the past. And that's out of, that's in God's hands, truly. And he finally came out and I was like, I was scared he died kind of.

Sometimes, like, I've done this before, like, in a public restroom, if you have an incident, sometimes you literally have to wait in there, like, doing nothing for like 15 minutes before, like, you feel comfortable leaving and letting someone else observe the space. Living and let live. Yeah. Like, it's doing a kindness to, like, not subject anyone else to the space and kind of lock yourself in there for a bit. In my home, I would have just liked, like, like him to head out. Yeah. No, no, no, I would have, like, he could even have been like, do not go in there. That was your French accent?

Do not go in there. Yeah. Do yours, do you not go in there. Let me see if I can say it in French. Oh, yeah. Ex ne'ne on the pubble. Maybe like. I won't know either way, so you're fine.

Like, maybe it's a little something like. girl girl please come on do it I don't know I literally You can't do any part Nontrepa Is that you can you look Is that it?

Do not go in there Damn girl Nantrepa Damn Damn Just sweet franca Yeah sweet franca Do not go in there

Ciao to all our French listeners How? That's Italian. Ciao to all our French listener. Bonjour, so va, we, sava, bien. Facts. On. Girl.

I don't know how to say God in French. God? I don't know how to say God. Can we look up how to say God in French? It's probably God. Ah, God. Do you? Oh, Mon Dieu. I knew that.

Oh, my God. I knew that, too. Le Dieu? Azute. Bless you. So I was at... We were talking about pets, and I don't know how I got to say. to my apartment first, but I do want to circle back to pets because Max is now fixed and

is back at the park. Yeah. He's back in action. And I was talking to this man because obviously my most bizarre conversations always happen at the dog park because I'm alone and I have no defense and it's so rude to look at your phone when there's just one other person there and they're not looking at their phone. They're trying to talk. Just because like we both have a dog doesn't mean we have to be friends, you know, at the dog park.

He starts talking to me. I'm like, yeah, we just got Max Fix. And he's like, oh, yeah, like after I got my, I'm just going to try to get this right, because I feel like it was a fever dream. Yeah, we got, we got, what's his face fixed too. And we noticed since then, like, I do so much for my libido as, as like a man. Like, I feel like I should help my dog with his libido. And I was like, what?

Your dog's sex drive? You're trying to increase your dog sex drive? I was like trying to get, and he's like, yeah, like, they're animals. weren't like we're animals and I was like I'm not why are you trying to get your dog horny right right is that right libido yeah no that's right because he was talking to me about his dog's libido and I was like I don't I no longer feel safe at this dog park that yeah that's not a conversation that I would like to have and I don't think that's a conversation he should be initiating with strangers or maybe anyone it came up and it came up so quickly that like I had zoned out enough to where I was just kind of like monkeys

symbols in my brain. And then he said libido and I was like, wait, how do we get here? This episode is brought to you by Prime. Obsession is in session. And this summer, Prime Originals have everything you want. Steamy romances,

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And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear up on that envelope it's time for a little in-person spring treat it's time for a trip to ross work your magic that feels really weird unless like he's like a breeding no his dog is fixed yeah that's bizarre wait if you cut off my balls and then gave me a blue chew i'd be like what the fuck is this is like some evil torture a blue chew it's like viagra oh for dogs men i don't know what a blue chew would do to a woman I think it would make you horny No, because it's for like blood flow into your cock and balls

And also Your cock and balls? Oh, you're clit I think Okay, let's check out what Hey, hey, hey, hey, let me look on my iPad Okay, I want to, okay, the Google AI has stepped in Do you know, okay, I don't know if you guys noticed that I brought my iPad

Oh my God, it's exactly what Both of us said. What is it? Because I don't know if you know that I can, with my apple pen, see the search bar right here, Connor? I can write into the search bar with my apple pen. Oh. And it converts to type.

That's very good. So what? Sometimes I probably think that maybe typing would be easier. Diagra. Oh, wait, no, Viagra. Diagra? Diana Agron. Wait, it'll take me about 45 minutes.

What does Diana Agron do to a woman's genitalia? What does? You're kind of tapping all over with like the bottom, wrist and your palm no blue chew shit let me start over what is that not the same thing as viagra it's like over the counter okay so i'm just gonna keep viagra what does viagra do to the clit they're starting to say women it doesn't sorry i have to backspace because i accidentally put a dot with my pen show keyboard go back okay what does viagra do to women okay and you'll tie that keyboard board one more time for me.

How do you get this going? Show keyboard. There's a genius bar than Brooks working across the room at the bozo bar. Okay. Do you want to be, hi, welcome to Apple. Do you want to get started today at the genius bar or at the bozo bar? Yeah, women who take it might also have increased blood flow to the genitals. But it's just not.

That may help increase sensitivity arousal and orgasmic function. So why wouldn't they just take that? I don't know. Maybe more women should be taking. blue chew and Diana agron's. Oh, it doesn't necessarily increase in women's pleasure. Just blood flow, really. Yeah, it just swells you up.

Can women take Viagra? Do you have any more questions? Do you want me to look up on my iPad? I'm good right now. Okay. You'll let me know. Thank you. It's like so sad how a, like, a material item,

like my iPad, can bring me so much joy. And like I know that it's fleeting. like I'm going to like stop being so obsessed with my iPad in a few weeks. And then I'm going to need something else. Because it's obviously not coming from within. Bluchu. I don't think that's what I need. Oh, my apartment will suffice.

And then you can keep, then you start getting stuff for your apartment. Yeah. And that's so fun. It'll be a long cycle. Oh, do you want my shelves from cozy? No, I'm good. Thank you though.

Okay. They're great. I do see a long and happy life with my iPad, though. That's good. You don't even know what it's like to do the crosswords on here. If you knew your head would be spinning 180. Wow. Yeah.

I guess that's just something that's just for you. And you don't even know what it's like to take the California driver's practice test on here. How is that going? Horribly. I failed twice yesterday. You're going to have to do it eventually too. Can you not cheat? Connor, it's proctored.

So like they're screen recording, my laptop screen. They're filming me and the mic is on. Okay. I don't think we're dealing with employee the month at the DMV procuring. I know I'm scared. No, but I think it's AI. So it's like any sort of like I don't know. Let me know if I can cheat.

I'm going to try to take it again. I've been practicing a lot. You drove here. But what's crazy is that I failed like by a landslide each time. Like it wasn't even like, oh, like I got a few wrong. You can get six wrong. I think I got 15 wrong the first time and about 18 the next time. I mean, you drove here today with the failing twice yesterday.

I know. Well, my Pennsylvania driver's license is valid for another week. Pause. I passed the Pennsylvania one. Well, that's good. You should move back. That's mean. No, you love Pennsylvania.

When have I ever once said that I love Pennsylvania? In so many words. I am moving to New York. I meant to ask you if you want to move with me. That was one of my tangents today. Do you want to go? Hang on. Hold that dot.

I want to say that maybe you do have street smarts. and the most raw and authentic form of that phrase because while you keep failing this test, you hit the road immediately after failing for the second time. Oh my God, nothing's going to keep me off the road. One thing about this girl, she has a need for speed. Yep. The questions are like actually,

it's like in which condition should you be driving exactly 100 feet behind a truck? Snow, ice, or rain? You can only pick one. in which condition do you have to be exactly a hundred feet behind and all the questions are like that snow i don't know oh it doesn't matter is he's just going to get carpal tunnel looking up the n mv test that's the thing is that i'm going to forget it all out of love for my for my state this is my state yeah um r e new york yeah yesterday i had an hour i had an hour

absolute aneurism trying to drive to lunch at 1 p.m. Yeah. No one experiences traffic like me because I legit, like hope I crash because that's how much I hate traffic. And you're in it all the time. I'm in it all the damn time. You can take the boy out of traffic. You cannot take the traffic out of the boy. Yup.

But yesterday I was looking at this. You know who I love? Tell me. People in like the West Village in New York that are like, hi guys, I'm going out for groceries later does anyone want to sublet my apartment for two hours yeah I love that too like that is so funny that is so funny I love the absolute shamelessness of being like hey I'm going to Europe for a month does anyone want my apartment I'm like yeah I want your apartment and I'm going to steal everything because you're in Europe and you need to sublet your apartment it must be it must be really brutal

to like not be in your New York apartment where you're paying so much rent and just like knowing that you're not being there for sure you know yeah I don't think I would ever be able to leave. How much more expensive do you think New York rent is than L.A. rent? Or do you think they're comparable? I think they're comparable. Oh my God. It just occurred to me that I use both of those pronunciations for the same word.

Look at you. No, like I'm just like, just use one. It doesn't matter. You can switch it out. Comparable. They're comparable. I think it's one and a half to two X. More? Yeah. Yeah. You're not going to get a two bedroom now for what you're going to pay for your two bedroom.

In New York? No, in New York it would probably be like $2,000 more. Yeah. Men. Like three, four, yeah. Yeah. Per bedroom. Yeah.

Because those people are subletting out closets. Right. Hey, I have my walking closet, but I just put a bunch of stuff on Poshmark. Anyone want to sublet it? Have you ever sublet? Oh, have I ever sublet? Girl. Yeah.

Really? Oh, I've subletting. Where? Well, I've never, sublet, even once. It's never gone through. What do you mean? Well, I put it online, but then no one took the bag.

Oh, no one wanted your, what were you, which place were you, sub-leasing? I was sub-leasing in Austin, yeah. Okay. That was before Austin became a hot, come-od. But, yeah. Is this becoming the most boring episode we've ever done? I didn't want to say it because I didn't want to put the energy out there. Yeah.

is it's boring but literally yeah but it's fine okay let me go through a couple things really quick okay oh these are all really horrible I put something in the notes I want to be almost done with personal neat nuances really quick but I do want to say at the bar on Friday I went out and this girl kept stealing my hat off my head no my God like being like I got your hat I'm like I'm going put my elbow accidentally against your forehead in a second. How old was she? Or age? It's so tough. She's like, I got I got your hat. I'm like, are you a baby? I will say like I hear that and I'm like that's like so embarrassing, cringy and like I think right now that I would never do that. But when you have a crush, like you don't know what you're capable of. Like having a crush is the most severe mental illness

that one could face. Like you're like and like it could literally, it could literally make the most sane like chill women go full I'm gonna grab your hat mode you don't know what it can do to you you don't want to be in a place where you're the you're the girl and grab your hat mode girl or boy and grab your hat mode no no one ever wants to grab your hat mode but sometimes

people like you just end up there even her friend was like I'm sorry my friends didn't grab your hat mode yeah but like no one ever wants to be grab your hat mode no imagine imagine her Sunday scaries knowing that she's your height and all I had to do was this

so I'm at the bar with my drink in one hand. That probably enticed her more. My drink in one hand and she's going like this. That probably got her more excited. And she probably thought you were like playing with her like, ooh, he flirt, flick, flirt. Don't take my hat. I was like, to be honest, it was getting so much for me that I was about to just give it to her. But it was a new hat.

Yeah. And I told her, I was like, I will give this to you. but it's it's so new so I can't do that can you take his hat she's like she didn't want his hat she wanted my hat yep sorry I actually had a new stress dream that was unlocked last night um of there was one time in college when I texted um my crush something like ridiculous and then was like sorry I didn't mean to send that to you and it was like something like ridiculous that like I was like, this is a really good idea. And then I sent it and I was like, oh my God.

Like, oh my God. Why did I do that? Like panic. And then I obviously had to send like 18 follow up texts to be like, I'm so like, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that to you. And then more that was like I'm so like, because I was just like so in my head. And so my stress dream was I did that again. And then I actually physically couldn't stop sending follow up texts.

Like your hands. Like physically I like something was wrong with my brain where I couldn't stop being like, I'm so sorry. That was so weird. Am I being weird right now? I'm so, so sorry. Oh, you're making my heart race. Really scary stress dream.

Damn. I woke up so grateful to God and also myself that I didn't do that. Yeah. So that's nice. That's nice. Because I didn't do that right now. And you start from behind. I woke up in a new baguadi.

Damn, girl. Yeah. I was going to, oh, speaking of cars, this is the worst episode we've ever done. No, stop saying that. Okay, sorry. I'm just laughing because I think we kept doing like little things and then we just move on. But that reminded me yesterday. I'm driving.

Post lunch. I'm driving in my car like any other day. I'm chewing gum. Something I do every now and then. And I'm chewing it, chewing it. And I go, I'm going to pop this bubble. And this is, mind you, this is that type of gum with those little microplastics in it. You know, the ones that have little bubbles of freshness.

I know the exact one. Yeah. Love that. The ice breakers, squares? No, it's, um. The chicklets? It's leaving me suddenly in all at once. Anyways.

No, it's like an actual stick of gum, but it's got little balls. Oh. St. Ives of gum. Yeah. Little balls, by the way, were like the craziest. Like, if your company's failing, add some little balls to it. Do you know what I would actually, like, kill someone for right now? Huh.

Those watermelon ice breakers. They discontinued those. Yeah, those. Those are delicious. They discontinue only the best things. Right. Why are you discontinuing watermelon icebreakers? Why don't you discontinue hate? You ever thought of that? Why don't you discontinue misogyny? Why don't you discontinue homophobia?

Exactly. I'm glad someone said it. Someone had to, Brooke. I'm happy to. Some man had to take his stand. Yeah. I'm glad it was you. That's why they gave us our platform. They got to put you on the quota. Speak out on the quarter. Yeah. That's good, Brooke.

Put your face on the quarter. They got to get my face on a quarter if they know what's good for. I have a lot of things like that that I could say. Like feminism? Yeah. Okay, give me your top five teminist fakes right now. Timinous fakes. Okay.

One. Tampons should be free. Very good. That one. No one can say anything. Yeah. Bad about that. Two.

Women? Women can do it. Three. These boots were made for walking. Girls love boots. Maybe boots should be free too. Maybe boots should be free for women. That could be nice.

You, your first access president. Free boots for all women. Drop my mic. walk off stage. Did you see that video of Biden leaving the room and like looking back over your shoulder and smiling? No. Can we please pull it up?

Wait, no, I'm going to, I'm going to, this is going to be me leaving. I'm sorry, I announce boots are now free for him. Oh, there it is. That's him, that was him leaving the room. That's me saying, that what? That's, that's me after saying one, tampon should be free. Two, women can do it. Yeah.

Three, three, these boots were made for walking. And then that's you in the background saying, Maybe boots should be free too, and then that's me turning around. I found my running mate. Okay, two more. Oh, two more? Yep. And nothing can be free in these two.

If you elect me as president, I'm going to make recess 30 minutes longer. That's not for women. Only for women? Only for women so they can play longer and be in the sun longer. I don't know about that one. Equal pay, if not more. That's nice. And mothers?

Yeah. Yeah, I think I like them. Mothers, you know what? They're good in my books. I think they deserve respect. That's crazy. Dude. But I said it.

Yep. Oh, anyways, how did we get to my running? Oh, because I was in the car driving, yeah. So I have my gum. I'm chewing my gum. I'm in traffic. And then finally we start finally moving. I'm like, I'm going to pop a bubble in celebration, you know, pop some bubble.

Pop some bubbly. Yeah. I pop this bubble. You would be absolutely dead wrong. Leave everything you thought you knew about my bubble at the dough. Because this bubble pops. and the AC blows the gum into my eyes. Both eyes equal for...

I'm trying to look and like every time I reopen my eyes there's just this minty freshness just blowing with AC. You must have had a massive bubble. The bubbles are always massive in my mouth. Dang. I blow some massive bubbles. Yeah, I always have.

But holy fuckemole the way I thought that that was going to be the end of my life because of... Talking about blue chew. Talk about the... It was crazy. It was the worst experience. It was like worse than sneezing.

Just because the bubble gum was blue and I was chewing it. Oh, duh. And that's kind of all she wrote in my notes. One time I... One time? One time? I don't remember why I had to spit my gum out in my hand, but I did for some reason. And then someone went to shake my hand.

And I literally had to just be like there's gum in my hand. You could have just given them knocks. I mean, like, I don't really touch people. like that on my palm. I had to be honest. And it was someone like I didn't know at all. Yeah. Obviously because I was introducing myself.

But I know who's a what? That's all I had to say. I was also wanting to say, R.E. my home renovation journey. I got an AC unit because my apartment does not have AC. And it's starting to really heat up. Heat up via the AC? No, no, no.

Like outside. It's heating up. Oh, yeah. So I was like, I need this AC unit. So it has a tube. that goes out to the outside. And I set it up. Last night I'm like,

I almost called in sick today. I thought I had fever. Really? Full blown, because the past two nights. Did you have doms? No. From setting up the AC?

I thought that that might be it, but I really truly was like, how come every night when I go to sleep? I cannot sleep. I'm drenched in sweat. And I go this morning and I go over to it. I never put the tube out the window. It's just been blowing the exhaust into my room.

Oh, Connor. That's like dangerous. Heeding up. By the way, this is one of the questions on the California driver's license test. What is one of the main symptoms of carbon monoxide poisoning? A, watery eyes. B, summit cramps. C, dizziness.

D, all of the above. Nope. It's dizziness, though. It's dizziness. But like the others could be symptom too. They could be symptom too. They're just trying to trick you. I don't know.

I feel like if I'm dizzy, my semi-hurt's as well and my eyes are red. I'm experiencing no symptoms or all of them all at once. I can feel carbon monoxide poisoning happening right now. Well, you know, I thought I had carbon monoxide poisoning a few months ago. I have three carbon monoxide detectors now plugged into different outlets. I smashed all of my fire alarms two bits, and I think they're in my carbon, because one night they just would not stop beeping their dicks off.

You can have one of my carbon monoxide detector. I need one, I think. That'd be smart. I'll bring it to you. I've been cooking a lot. recently too. What have you been making? I made steak last night.

What cut? Why did you say it like that? Cut of steaks. Why did you say it like that? I don't know. I thought it was funny. Lord knows we could use some humor. That's good shit, bro.

They should put you on the quarter. Put me on the quarter. I've been a real good girl. Who's on the quarter now? Tell me now. George Washington. Yeah. Come on.

You think I don't know my coins? Heads or tails? Tails? Oh, I didn't picture you as a Tails girl. I always do tails. What do you do? Tails as well. I didn't, I had no idea you were also with Tails Girl.

I didn't know that about you. I would have thought you were heads. Really? Yeah, would you thought I was heads? No. Tails makes sense. Okay. Okay.

What the hell were we talking about? My steak cut. Oh, yeah, the cut of the state. steak. Don't say that anymore. Hang on. It was a fillet. My throat just made an actual real sound.

Yum. Did I tell you about the smoke salmon eyeball that I ate? No. There's this place in London called Sketch, which is the tea room that all the tourists go to and like everyone tells you to go there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. okay um and like i'm pretty sure that like if you ask like somebody who's actually from london where to go to tea they will not tell you sketch because it's just become like so touristy but like the opening um the amuse bouch if you will what like like the pre appetizer like small bite like so via bush amuz bouch amuz buch i think that's like say that means it in french like little little bite or something. Do you know what I mean? It's like a little bite,

like something even before the appetizer. It was just like a little, literally everyone got like one little thing. It was a smoked salmon lollipop. Okay? It was. But the catch? Think of like whipped cream.

Yeah. It was the texture of whipped cream, but make it smoked salmon with a glaze around it to kind of hold it all together like a lollipop. That the texture was more like an eyeball than an eyeball was.

so it was a smoked salmon lollipop with the eyeball glaze and usually like I'm not kidding it was one bite usually if something's one bite I can like swallow it and be like okay like for the sake of like being polite all three of us

had to return the Amo's Bouch a smoke salmon lollipop with the eyeball glaze back to the plate with like one little bite taken out of it you want to see a photo of it it was truly like I've never oh my god There's like little caviars on the top of it too.

Do you see the eyeball glaze? Whoa, I didn't realize it was going to be so spherical. Yeah, no, it's a lollipop. It looks like an eyeball. It's a dumb dumb, but make it smoked salmon. There's something that like is not okay in the human brain where it's like, I'm going to take this thing and put it in the shape of something else. I think that like triggers something in your brain. No, the shape wasn't the issue at all.

It was the eyeball glaze. No, the eyeball glaze, but also sucking on like a legit eyeball. It's like a circle. It was, but you couldn't even suck on it because like to suck on smoke salmon would suck. But it would like be bad, I mean. So like you had to bite it because it was like the lesser of two evils. And it was like actually biting into a retina. I miss Charlotte A Cavatica.

Rip. And she rap. We haven't talked about her in so long. Charlotte A. Cavadica. That would have been a good, um, that game that, you know what I mean? What's it called that game that we play with you write something? on the black screen and you hold it up on your forehead. That would have been good.

That would have been a really good one. Yeah. What would you have said though? She's like ride or die, one of your good girlfriends that you haven't met, but she's more of like a literary character. Mm-hmm. And like a lot of people don't know that this is her full name. Yeah.

And she had a daughter? I think she had a lot of kids. Hundreds. But there was one that mattered most and it wasn't her biological job. at all. Someone say they weren't even the same species. Her fur baby. Charlotte A. Cavatica had a fur baby that little know about.

That would be a good drunk history episode. The truth about Charlotte A. Cavatica. She kind of lokio deadbeat mom for letting her hundreds and thousands of kids fly away. And then she's like, I'm going to hang out with her fur baby. They did. They made little parachutes made out of silk. I don't remember. I don't remember the details too well. A gorgeous scene.

However, I always think, like, this is beautiful, but this is from the perspective of Charlotte A. Kavataka and her thousands of children. Now, if I'm walking by that farm and a hundred spiders land all over my face and body, I hope someone catches me on fire. Dows me in gas and light a match. Cannot live to tell the tale. Do you like, does it bother you to think of like millions of spiders crawling on you? Yeah.

Yes. Not faced? Um, I just think like, I don't know, for whatever reason that doesn't upset me as much as like, what? What? I have eyeball glaze. Oh. My eyeball glaze is a lot worse. No, I'll, I'll suck a dows one of those eyeballs dry before I have a single bedroom.

I'm telling you like you think you would. I'd love to get you to sketch. I don't like that. Oh my God. When you do your show in London and go. Okay. And make sure if they don't bring it to you, ask. Be like, you guys have the smoke salmon lollipop.

but the eyeball glaze. I will. I'll make sure they bring it. Did you watch Brittany's Royal Court with Colesbrouse? No, I haven't seen it yet. Connor? I need to.

You know that trend that's named two people that actually matched each other's freak? It's them. Like, I'm not kidding. Like the chemistry between Brittany Brosky and Cole Spouse is like I've never seen.

It was really like watching two people fall in love in a way. It was, well, oh, that's where I was when I said that I was Burbank that one time, getting lost in the airport. I was coming back from watching Britney do that interview with Cole. I see. Because she granted me the privilege and the opportunity of doing that.

It was literally, if you guys haven't seen it, it's the best thing that I've ever seen in real life. And then again, like even better watching it. Wow, I need to watch. You have to watch it. I'll watch when I eat. She reads him or she gives him the fan fiction that she wrote about him, about him coming back from the Gulf War.

And he literally loved it so much. And he goes, I'm horny. Yeah. Like, what could be better? I can't think of literally anything better than giving your celebrity crush or a past celebrity crush a fan fiction. You wrote of them and then being so, like, obsessed with it. And he asked her to sign it. That's special.

That, like, so special. That's a, yeah, that was a good, that's a good matchup. I like that. It was really good. I definitely redeemed him post. What was he? Would, well, call her daddy. You could say that.

You could. Anyway, watch it. It was. Anyway. It was real pretty. special. Sorry, I keep choking on my lung over here. Oh, good. Do you want to hear, this is kind of crazy. I have a book club kind of with my friends from home that's basically just like, if we see a book that we think the other will like, we'll be like, do you guys want to read this together?

I'm on a C-book diet. Super informal, okay? Super informal. Check out. Let me read you the synopsis of this book that we're about to read. I think that you're going to have a few thoughts. I will. Yeah, you could say that. Okay, it's called Idlewild, which is coincidentally the street that one of my closest friends grew up on. Okay. Idlewild is a tiny artsy Quaker high school in Lower Manhattan. Students call their teachers by their first names. There are no grades and every day begins with 20 minutes of contemplative science.

Okay, let me take it from the top actually, okay? Idlewild is a tiny artsy Quaker high school in lower Manhattan. Students call their teachers by their first names. There are no grades and every day begins with 20 minutes of compulative. Silence in the meeting house. You know we had a meeting house. I know that It's during one of those meetings that an airplane hits the Twin Towers For two Idaho Wild outcast 9-11 serves as the first day of an intent Of an intense 18-month friendship

Blah blah blah blah Faye is prickly and aloof and obsessed with gay men Nell is shy sensitive and obsessed with Faye The two of them bond fiercely blah blah blah blah blah then during rehearsals for the fall play they noticed two sexually ambiguous boys who are potential candidates for their exclusive society blah blah blah blah blah blah looking back at these events

as adults the estranged fay and now trace at fateful school year we're calling backstage theater department intrigue smutty fanfic written over aim and blah blah blah blah blah blah You wrote a book? Isn't that crazy? Yeah that's your you're an author

I know You should literally meet that author That's really like a wild to Like if this author is writing based off of their own experience which I imagine they are. Like, it's wild to have so many shared experiences and niche ones with someone. Yeah.

Turns out my niche ain't so niche. Yeah. I hate when that happens. Yeah, that's a bummer. Hate when that happens. Yeah. But I'm excited to read it. I'll let you guys know how it is.

Yeah. Yeah, there's strength in numbers for sure. Yep. Have you watched Bridgerton at all? Did you try? You tried to watch season one. Maybe you should try and watch season two. Nah, I'm not of the camp that I can start a show after everyone's already done.

but that's kind of honestly to play devil's advocate if you don't mind it's kind of fun because there's so much content content there is something going on with the you said it right no i said content i just can't get this thing out of my gullet there's been something in my gullet for week has there oh you gave me your gullet filler um what was i saying doesn't matter be honest what was i saying it oh there's something like awesome about um consuming something after So many people have already been obsessed with it because there's so much, like, out there. I guess that's only if you're, like, someone like me. I liked it with, like, FEP.

I liked it with, like, curb, club. And the club, we all fam. And the club, we're all family. Are you racist? I think, like, it's nice. But then when there's been so much hype and it's still coming out, getting in so late, just, like, feels icky. Did you hear Charlotte this thing where he's not actually pregnant? I'm not in the Charlotte loop.

But do you remember? Like it was like Oh, Immaculate Conception It was either immaculate conception Or she was impregnated by a shark Turns out not even pregnant Just eating good? It's not an aquarium

I don't know what it is I don't know if the venue was I don't know if the vestibule was Just straight up lying about her pregnancy For publicity Or if she had For political means? If she lost the baby

Do you think No they would They would have the baby In like its own tank even dead if she had given birth. If she had given boy. Well, you don't, like, it could have just expelled itself naturally. They would find it.

They're cleaning her tank. I don't think you're, it could be like a cell. Oh, like cells. Yeah. Well, and how do they know she was pregnant? Ultrasound. Even when it's just cells? Very much so.

I don't want to get into that. That's a stick in my gullet. That's mine. It's been, it has been in my gullet for weeks. And you know we should be using a netty pot. I need to just, I have actual legit allergies. I've been sneezing my deck off for weeks. Wait, there was a time.

There was a time. Back in the day. Of your. No, keep singing. There was a time. Do you know what that is? No. When, uh, what, what are the words?

It's a, I dreamed a dream from La Miz, but. There was a time. There was a time. Back in the day. You keep saying you're throwing me off and you say that. I'm not trying to sing that song by Lemmise. I have to tell the story. When hopes were high, when hope was high and love was inviting and life was a song and then it all went wrong.

Let me look it up on my iPad. No. There was no ransom to be paid. No, I know there was no ransom to be paid. Okay, lame is. I. There's not even one line that says there was a time. I dreamed.

a dream it's the first where the okay oh there was a time when it all went wrong yeah when it all went wrong yeah there's actually four lines that's it my bad there was a time when men were kind and their voices were soft and their words inviting yep and then there was a time

and then it all went wrong when love was blind the world was a song and the song was exciting yep I dream that love would never die yeah have you not seen lame as the film no maybe you should maybe I should you'd hate it I'm not of the camp of watching thing when everyone else already has.

Just like I said. Even if it's a classic? Have you seen shitty shitty bang bang? Have you? Yeah. No, I haven't actually. Maybe you should watch that. Have you seen The Road to El Dorado?

No. Maybe you should watch that. Have you seen Passion of the Christ? No. Have you seen Elmo and Grouchland? No. Have you seen Jesus Christ Superstar? No.

Have you seen the Prince of Egypt? No. Have you seen Oklahoma? No. Have you seen Wizards Waverly plays the movie? No. Have you seen Even Sevens the movie? No.

That's actually like objectively just like a good movie. Like even apart from the Even Sevens franchise. Have you seen Are We There Yet? Featuring Ice Cube? Is Raven Simone in that? I don't think so. Is she? There was a movie with Raven. There was a movie with Raven in a car. Road trip.

Road trip. Road trip. Yeah, no. Have you seen Haunted Mansion with Eddie Murphy? Brooke yes and that's a good That's where we'll We'll throw in the towel Yep Let's decide to agree to agree on that one

That was the one that was one of the empty discs that my dad burned onto A DVD that we could watch I forgot we could burn movies onto Discs Did you have one of those like black binders with all your DVDs and CDs I would chew on it Which part? Chew right on it

Then you have corner that was available to me That's like you would actually have to pick that up like you're eating a sandwich and gnaw on it that's not like something that's readily already like by your mouth like a pencil or something your pencil's not just by your mouth you're using it on a paper it's like it's so easy to just like rest it in your mouth whereas it's not like an easy thing to just rest the cd vestibule in your mouth i was putting i was kind of like this is my cd vestibule hoogie oh it was a hoogie it was a hoogie okay let's do let's like actually think of one

one funny thing. I was going to say really quick for just like I should have said this earlier. There's still a bunch of tickets left to my Houston show. The second Houston show, the late Houston show, if you want to come. Is this the one that was rescheduled? It's on Tuesday. The Tuesday coming out next week. Yeah.

Okay. And then I got online and because someone deemed me that my London show was sold out for November 23rd. You could always do one at Sketch. And I emailed my entire team, all caps. You should get sketched a cater. London is sold out. This is unbelievable. I could never have done all this without you guys.

This is amazing. And they said, Connor, there's 215 tickets left to the London show. It's like not even a third sold out. How many tickets total? 300 and something. So London, if you're in London or London adjacent, those are still available. And we added Dublin, Dublin. So if you are in the Dublin, Aaron.

You can find tickets soon, probably by the time this episode is live. Have you been? One time. It wasn't fun. What's the best place you've ever been? Bali. You love Bali. I love my Bali, baby.

You're just a little Bali baby. I got Bali belly belly. Did you? Yeah. That is food poisoning. I was eating dog. It's a different than... On accident.

I wasn't aware I was eating dog. I should probably get that. Then Avogodros revenge. Brooke, I was grabbing vestibules right and left. I had my shoes off, drenched in sweat. I am religious on the toilet. That's the only time I become religious. I'm talking in, I'm speaking in tongues in Bali.

And I'm like, you know that last kebab? They say never eat the second kebab. Really? Don't push yourself to eat that second kebab. I did. I pushed myself because I was like, I don't know when I'm going to eat again. Turns out two days later, because I will be expelling. From every side?

Like, yes, I legit thought I was going to die, but you feel so good after you shit for three days. Really? Yeah, there's nothing left in your body. You're pooping out stuff from like 2006. That gum that they're like, you'll never digest this gum. And I'm like, whatever, I'm going to swallow it. I'm in eighth grade. Pooped it out in Bali.

Got that little piece of lead that's been in your... All my microplastics came out once. at once and it was 3D printed into a bust of name a woman. Any woman. That I can complete my story with. Come on. Can't think of Jamie Lee Curtis. All of my microplastics that were in my body were pooped out in a perfect 3D printed bust of Jamie Lee Curtis.

Finn. AI could never. No, that's something that I could never. AI could never have completed that ad lib about my my Bolly Belly experience. You know what I really want to do? Tell me. He's get one of those like full body like ultrasounds. Brooke, I want one too.

Where you go in the thing and they literally can see every last detail. I went in and got that done for my back when I was like, I have a slip disc. And I by the way, told everyone I had a slip disc because I was like, there's no other pain. I was asking everyone. And they go in there like, you don't have a slip disc. and it felt like Jesus himself had put his hands on me and healed me. I was like, oh, I don't. And then I was like, oh, I'm fine.

But they did a scan. I have no tumors. Right. I have no tumors at this time. Right. Or at that time. Right. Which was good to know.

Yeah. I don't know why. But this thing can literally detect anything. Like really early stages of anything. Is it so expensive to get done? Yes. Why? Because that's how things work.

work. Legalize ultrasounds. They are legal. For the over-the-counter ultrasounds. Yeah, over-the-counter. I want to be able to get an ultrasound on Amazon Prime. I've seen people do brand deals with them. With an ultrasound?

With this machine. It's like a very Pacific machine. Chris Jenner did it. It's like kind of like high. How come only the rich and fancy are allowed to get into the ultrasound machine? I'm having my, I'm having my bachelor party at the ultrasound machine. Oh my god, I'm having mine at the Barnes & Noble Cafe. We could link after.

Yeah. Well, we could swap. We could apartment swap. You could sub-lease my ultrasound room and I could sub-lease your table at the Barnes & Noble Cafe. I, no. I don't even want to open this can of words. I literally like have to take a brain fog till. Hey guys, I just finished.

What do you guys do for your brain fog? Let us know. Hey, guys, I just finished my can grapefruit rosemary. I'm sub-leasing this empty can. I guess it could be the can. But no, I had started with these words before the can. Anyway. What?

I didn't say anything. But let's do some. But I was saying. Oh, yeah, the Bachelorette trip to the Barnes & Noble. Oh, I redownloaded Hinge last night. Okay. Just because I have like new pretty pictures of myself. Yeah.

Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. Be sweet. Ew. Be sweet. Be sweet. Ew. Ew. Yeah.

Damn, you got me. I got you. It's like so fucking scary. That's the real, that's the real, L.A. horror nights. Yeah. Yeah. It's not, it's like not, I just don't, I don't get it. And then I put myself, I went to New York.

Last night, I, time traveled on Hinge, or I, I, you know, I, you know, I, you know, I visited the portal. I went through the portal. And it's so much better in New York. I really think it's, there's something wrong with L.A. I think there are very few, like normal. I'm actually not even looking for normal. Like, very few, how you say. Genesee quaff.

There's like, there's a little bit too much genusay quaff going on. Yeah, let's just say these guys got a little bit too much genusay quaff. And like I don't want to be mean, so I'm not using like any words. You said EU nine times. I really don't want to be mean. So I'm not going to say anything, but. Hi, Besty. said you nine times it's disgusting like it's revolting it's putrid like it's literally like a hell

on earth brook you know what you should do what you should go onto the side of that one really busy intersection and we ho and you should have like a little sign that says you dropped your can whoa oh my god oh you scared me i didn't know it was full damn i cannot i cannot get out of this studio without a wet ass i'll tell you what it's either i'm sweating oh Oh, you dropped your paper towels. Shut up, girl. Girl, please. Well, the guy can't have hobbies.

Having a wet ass. Well, anyways, you guys, welcome. So stupid. Welcome to our 30 seconds of pop culture. No, that's wrong. Is that right or wrong, is he? It's he probably spot on, huh? Perfect

Oh, I thought it was like 13 minutes ahead. It's behind? Perfect. Oh. Oh my gosh. We've got to do something good. Let's leave them with something good for the last. I'm trying my best here.

Pick something up there. But like I can't pick. They're all perfect. I, let's see. They're all really good. New research has, here's one that I'll like.

New research has found that people who commonly text and drive are concerningly associate. associated with psychopathic behavior. I thought it was going to be like, they're so smart, and we love them. No, did you see this study that was like people

with like intense crushes or infatuations with celebrities like generally have a lower IQ? Yeah. Talk about a highway to hell. New research has found that people who commonly text

and driver are concernedly associated with psychopathic behavior from interviews with nearly a thousand German drivers, about 73% of them women found a shocking 600 plus participants were about 61% admitted to problematic use of their devices whilst driving. You're a problematic device user.

Oh, well, they're associating it with antisocial behavior, problematic smartphone users evoked three negative traits known as the dark triad, narcissism, machiavellianism, and psychopathy. By the way... What's Machiavellianism again? Hold on. Hold on. Let me answer that.

Machiavellianism. By the way, no one's going to say how I did. that without even suttering. I nailed it in the first try. Okay. Machiavillianism is the name of a can we, oh yeah,

manipulate lie, act callously and disregard morality. Niccolo Machiavelli was a foreign teen, so he's from Florence. Diplomat, author, philosopher, and historian who lived during the Italian Renaissance. Very,

After his death, Machiavelli's name came to evoke unscrupulous acts of the sort he advised most famously in his work. Huh? It's okay. We can move right along if you want to. No, I want to talk about this. No one's talking about it. No one's talking about how Machiavelli was problematic. And here's why.

Thread. Let me tell you why he's problematic right now. Okay. go ahead and rip into it. I see you scrolling past paragraphs and paragraphs and paragraphs. Are you just going to pick one? Blindly. No.

I'm, uh, so. Hello, hello. Thank you all for joining us. Don't let us know what you know about Machiavelli in the comments. Yes. And if anyone wants to take Frankie home for...

No, no, no. For... No, no. It is time and she is up for grabs. No, she's not. But I'd just be willing to... talk.

I just want to talk. Okay. What? A little conversation has never hurt anybody. No. And if like if genuinely if she had any feelings of attachment towards me. Let it be known. Show yourself.

There's like no way I would be able to separate. However she really like I'd love her to death. She like hates me. Yeah. Which is sweet. Totally. All right you guys. Thank you so much.

We never even welcome. back to listening at the beginning, but thank you so much for listening. And we'll see you in the bonus. Please subscribe to our YouTube. This week on close friends, I have four-hand notifications. Oh, wow. This guy's something completely unique. Math question mark.

No, jail for up through a year and then a thousand dollars. Finance question mark. Crossword question mark. Gail! Gun. Legumee, Papa. I literally, we have to move up from Lakeyua. Sign up on TMG Studios.tv to watch a full bonus episode.