Bros & Shows - Aaron's Pearl Necklace (Bachelorette Episode 2 Full Recap)

Episode Date: July 18, 2024

What's up Bros? Its our second Bachelorette episode and we are having too much fun with this show. In round two, the crew find themselves in Melbourne. We have some group dates today and it seems that the center focus is going to be Devin vs Aaron. Devin is just playing the game. Not his fault he's taking initiative and stealing Jenn for one on ones. But he is living rent free in Aaron's head. Marcus gets the first one on one date and they go skydiving. Date couldn't have gone better. Group date two features some animals in the Aussie outback and Hakeem gets paired up with a spider. Aaron offers Devin a self help book. The cocktail party gets lit as Tomas N. decides he's going to tell off Devin... And after the rose ceremony is all said and done, Shooter and Steel still have full rosters on their 5 man bachelor teams. This show is so fun to review and watch so if youre looking for a summer activity and you are NOT watching... its time to jump in! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're with Amex, Plathom, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best hapice in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at Amex.ca. The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox is an eight-episode Hulu Original Limited series that blends gripping pacing with emotional complexity, offering a dramatized look

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I don't need the spotlight. I shine just fine. Hi, I'm karma. And yes, I am a bitch. Bravo Bros. Good afternoon, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Brav Bros. B-R-O-S-E. I am your co-host, Steele Russell,

joined as always by the one and only shooter mcrosder hope everybody's got their favorite brose out this episode am i right love that uh we are here and we are getting deep on the bachelorette steel and i are absolutely loving this show it's a blast and we were just talking about it before it is just our opportunity to make fun of a bunch of dudes really honestly just a bunch of guys that think that they are way cooler than they actually are. A lot of them with, uh, look, I'm all about being emotional and having, sure, emotions, feelings. Do you have to read a book about it?

The book. Oh, the book. Aeron. My God, man. My point being like, guys, let's, let's reel it in it. Everyone needs to reel it in a little bit because their performances from a lot of gentlemen this week were subpar at best. Yeah, subpar.

What would you think, and this is just what I was picturing, Aaron reading that book on the plane ride, if you were walking up and down the aisle, say you have to go to the bathroom and you peek over and you see a guy reading a self-growth book like that that looks like Aaron. What was it called? It was like how to self-grow, I think.

How to the key to self-growth or something? Self-growth for idiots? Self-growth for, I don't know, I'm not going to say it. I was going to say something really mean. I'll say it later. No, like, I would laugh. Did he write the book? At first, I thought he wrote the book.

It's just his, it's his book. Do we have confirmation they didn't write the book? No, but... We need to look this up. Hold on. We need to look it up. My first thought was that he did write the book because his phrasing was very weird. I want you to read my book.

Yes. Let me look. But I think he meant possessive. This is mine. It belongs to me. I bought this with my own money. I have big boy money and I buy books with it. Oh, my God.

The first thing comes up when you put Aaron. Bachelorette, this Aaron Bachelorette pearl necklace. That's even better. All right, here's the book. Okay, no, it was written by Dr. Brandon O'Connor. It's called Principles for Self Growth. And the subtitle is How to Understand Yourself and Gain Emotional Depth. Damn, I really thought.

that was going to be a title that said it gets a little bit got to be depth maybe johnny depth it doesn't matter principles for self growth how to understand yourself really disappointed and surprised that it doesn't say thyself i am too seems like a big opportunity for a thyself and i agree with that uh before we keep going let me just do a quick order of business i want to remind everybody we are recapping house of the dragon they're starting to gain some steam people are enjoying them a lot people are also getting frustrated at us because our predictions are landing and they're they're blaming us for spoilers. I saw that. We had an email. Yeah. I know. We're not. We don't know. Yeah. Shooter knows two spoilers that he has not. Which one of them already happened. Yeah. And he already knew about the Rain East thing. Right. And just held it to myself. You didn't say the other one. You kept it to yourself. These are predictions. It's not our fault that we're good at it. All right. And it also makes me feel pretty good that people are like, this is annoying. Yeah. The point being. We have not read the books. Have not. Will not. I don't read. except for Aaron's self-health book. Know thyself.

Know thyself, the guide to self-help by Air, A-A-A-Ran. But seriously, if you like House of the Dragon or Game of Thrones, jump in, listen to that episode. People are enjoying it. We're enjoying recapping it. Second Order of Business. Our exclusive episodes are up and running for Brab Bros members. So if you want some more of the bros, you want to get a little bit more personal with your bros.

Join the Brab Bros. Members, $5 for the month. $50 for the year, Link is in the bio. Now, let's get back on track because I love the show. And I think a big part of it is kind of, what you said when you got here is that it's just easy to watch. It's easy to recap. There's no, you can't be taking it too seriously. No, definitely not.

I was pointing it out from a podcaster standpoint. There's really only about five segments of each episode. Scene changes, yeah. Yeah, exactly. They just split it up into two group dates, two individual dates, the cocktail. All right, so six, the cocktail hour, and then at the end, the rose ceremony. Yeah, I like it. Pretty simple.

And all we have to do is just say, hey, here's the group date. Here's our favorite moments from the group date. That's really it. It's great. And then we just get to talk shit about dudes. Yeah, it's a show about little moments, and we're going to try to point them all out. That's what we do for you, our baby birds. So you guys get ready to be fed because we got a lot to say.

But let's start out with the intro. We get a bro fight right out of the gate. Oh, immediately. And a surprising duo, not Devin. I figured Devin would get into some shit. Yeah. Thomas N., I didn't see that coming. He's a little fiery, a little feisty, little, and I think that's a big part of it.

I think that's where a lot of the anger comes from, and there's nothing wrong with a short king. I just think, you know, coming in a little hot. A couple of baby back bros. A couple of baby back bros, and I think it's going to rear its head as the season progresses. But, you know, again, love a short king here, not trying to talk shit. It's just Thomas A need to settle down a little bit. But we're in Melbourne. Melbourne.

I also appreciate that everybody there says Melbourne. Not everybody. Who says Melbourne? I believe Devin did during his comedy stand up. He started off with Melbourne. All right, I appreciate that. Melbourne is okay. Melbourne is like, all right, stop.

Melbourne's ridiculous. Melbourne is the correct way to cite it, and that's how we're going to say it the whole time. I'm also going to do this accent the entire time. Any country in the world, they had to go Australia for the first time that we do this? Yeah. We have real Australians that listen. listen to us that say you suck. One of them said I sucked.

Real Australia. One of them said I sucked. She doesn't speak for all Aussies, so I'm going to continue to do this. The other thing is, the more that I watch this show, I might get better, and she might come back and say, hey, it's gotten a lot better. I'm really appreciating it because that right now, this is peak. I'm doing very well. I feel like it's more New Zealand.

No, that's not, no Kiwi. Yeah, you're a little Kiwi. Let's get back to the show. All right, you amped me up for this. I didn't do shit. You did. You poke? You pout the koala, and now you got the bear.

But I just have to point out, I cannot imagine walking through an international airport and seeing this crew walking through. Oh, dude, yeah. Everyone's barking like, yeah, woo! I also hate that. I hate that anytime they show up anywhere, it's, oh, yeah. Well, you know what, though? Oh, yeah, James.

I hate it. As much as I hate it, that shit does happen. I was going for my cousin's wedding. I was going out to Cleveland, there was a Nashville flight right next to me. As soon as the flight was boarding, Woo! Nashville! Here we come! Four different groups of people did it. So, yeah.

That's on par with, I hate when people clap when you land. Yep. That drives me nuts. It doesn't make sense. Do you boo if you crash? But whatever. They get to the Marriott and they're... That would be really funny.

Boo! We lost both engines. Boo! Do better. That's my point. See? But the bulls. Boys are way too excited about the concept of a pool table being in their hotel.

Oh, shit, man. I got first game. That had to be Brian. But we get the first group. RIP, Brian. No, spoiler alert. God damn, we're going to get an email about this. We're going to hear about this one.

But the date card reveals we got Sam N, Marvin, Brian, Jonathan, Aaron, Grant, Devin. There's one more than I didn't get. It doesn't matter. The first group date, and I love the setup for this. The entire premise doesn't make any sense. You're supposed to have time to get close to this person to get a rose on a group date. So you have to set yourself apart in some way, shape, or form. That's my entire, not qualm with this episode, but this whole episode focuses pretty much around Devin and his antics.

Devin's playing the game correctly. Yeah, I would definitely agree. That's what you're supposed to do is try to find your alone time during a group date. If you're going to take initiative, why is everybody? getting mad about that because they didn't think of it first. That's all it is. I just butt hurt because they didn't jump on it. We said that last week because Devin did it first last week and people like, what the hell?

It's like, he's doing what he's supposed to do. He's trying to stand out. Yeah, he's trying to stand out. And when he gets her one-on-one, he's not being an asshole. He's just saying like, hey, I really wanted to get you like on your own so we could have a chit-chat. I just want to have my time with you. He's making it about her. Yeah.

That's important. Yeah. A lot of guys. He's not talking shit about the boys. You're not supposed to. Also, these guys aren't your friends. That's the biggest thing. How dare you do that to the group?

A man is only as good as his work. What are you going to do when it's the two of you against each other? That's my point. It makes no sense. But I like seeing them taste everything. Vegamite can confirm tastes like ass. Sorry to our Aussie listeners. I don't know.

And I have a... I have a wide-ranging palette. Did not care. I tried it a few times. They have it on toast. I tried it on toast. I did the whole thing. I'm not knocking it.

I simply... Maybe I didn't have enough time to develop a taste for it. it. I guess that's fair. What about a kangaroo testicles? I didn't have a testicle. I did eat a lot of kangaroo, though. It's equivalent to deer in Australia, pretty much. And it's one of the healthiest meats on the planet also. And if done right, delicious. Would I eat a kangaroo testicle? As soon as you said a desert oyster shot, I was like desert oysters or prairie oysters in the States. Yeah, I thought Rocky Mountain oyster. They're cow balls, which I have, I've been to a cow testicle festival. Yeah. Now that's a mouthful.

Hey, it was, actually, literally. I had fried ones, different kinds of balls. How many balls did you have? I had a lot of balls that day. Juggling a lot of balls. You got to lean into it if you go to a testicle festival. You can't be the guy that's like, ew, you got to just do it. Were there testicles out?

Like, you didn't want to see. Guys were like, I'm going to let my balls hang out for this. At the testicle festival? No, but you remember where else we saw a testicle festival festival? Testicle vestible? A testicle festival? Festibule. Do you remember? No.

Happy Lake. Oh, right. I forgot about that one. They went to a testicle festival. It's a thing. It's a big thing in rural area. At rural areas. Rural. Or Melbourne.

Or Melbourne. But I did see Tim Tams. The chocolate things they tried are Tim Tams. They sell them at Giant weirdly. Yep. They're one of my favorite things from Australia. Tim Tams are the shit. But you see Sam N is kind of laying in the background.

That's not going to fall. It's a lactose intolerant. Oh, is that what he said? He said, well, he said that I can't have of that cheese because it's not going to sit well with me. It's like, you can't be that guy. You eat it. You just fucking eat it. And you know what? You go find a bathroom when Devin does

this thing. Exactly. Go drop a deuce and then come out. You cannot be the lactose intolerant guy on the group date. That stands out. You're drawing attention to yourself in a negative way, which he does point out. It's not your fault, Sam. It is his fault. You live and die by yourself here. That's my whole thing,

the camaraderie amongst the boys. Well, I just meant like it's not his fault that he's lactose intolerant. I disagree. Maybe is from lack of trying. I don't know. That's just because... Let's blame his parents. Yeah.

But this is where Devin takes in and scoops her up and goes away. In my experience with The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, which is not a lot. I've seen a few seasons a long time ago. Yeah. This part of the game. You find you, especially in group settings, you've got to find time. Got to isolate. That was my...

My phrasing last week wasn't great. You have to find time for one-on-ones. That's a better way to say it. There you go. All Devin's doing is taking initiative in A-A-A-Ron with his pearl necklace. Dude, that's worse than a puka-shell necklace. At least a puka-shell necklace would be ironic. Pearls, what are we doing?

I don't know. You're in Australia. Maybe go for a nice shark-tooth necklace. Something other... That was the dumbest necklace ever. And not because you can't wear what you want to wear. It just didn't look good. You look like an idiot.

And again, he's calling negative attention to his pearl necklace. Yes. You had a good date, and you did. what Devin did. I'd be like, all right, maybe you're a little bit of a douchebag

with that pearl necklace, but you did a good move. No, you're just a bitch. He's just a big bitch. Aaron is the biggest bitch on this show because this entire time that Devin and Jen are getting ice cream,

we keep cutting to Aaron on like a confessional, and he's like, Devin's over there making an ass out of himself. I'm just really upset with that. It sounds like Aaron wants to fuck Devin. Honestly, that's the vibe

I'm getting from this. He's actually jealous of Jen. Honestly, you could argue that he is because he won't leave it alone. He outplayed You, this is a game. I cannot believe that I drafted him, by the way. I know.

I love that you're so upset. But I go right back to that immediately because the only reason I drafted him last week, the reason that I thought he had a shot is because his brother knows the game. What? Your brother didn't tell you that people just fucking steal girls away from the date? Or you haven't watched the show? And you're going to freak out about it? He does.

He loses his mind over it. This eats him alive. Devin has so much real estate in his head. Yeah. From now until eternity, until he gets kicked off the show, and then he's going to go home and he's going to write Devin in lipstick on his mirror. That's seen from Billy Madison. That's going to be his future if he gets the boot before Devin does.

But I love the premise of a comedy show making these guys get up there. That's really funny and giving them 10 minutes to prep for it. I'm glad Devin went first and, you know, he goes after the boys a little bit. He's like, ah, it's about fierce love, not fraternal love. Bad joke. That didn't land. the jokes were good let's be honest no but they all missed the point they all decided to just attack each other no they didn't they attacked devon they attacked devon devon attacked jeremy a little bit

but it's still just like what are you doing like make a different joke that you could have won so many favors if you just went up there and had like some dumb ass jokes if you went up there did a dad joke did your own shitty like stand-up routine yep it could have been anything anything other than let me tear down other guys in the group because if I'm Jen, I'm going, wow, you're all insecure little bitches, huh? Devin took initiative and now you guys are all crying about it. I'm going to lean towards Devin. And the only joke I did find funny was when Devin moved the microphone down for Jeremy.

He's like, oh, Jeremy's up, shooop, funny. Yep. But then everyone else gets up, Aaron gets up there. What did he say? I didn't even write it down. But after this whole thing goes down, Aaron takes it upon himself to say, I got to explain things to Devin.

Why? Are you the group therapist? I guess. Are you the counselor? What do you mean? We need to make sure that he understands what he's doing here. Do you? Because it's not about your relationship with the men.

I love taking the stance of, you're not right for Jen. That's so funny. Because of the way that you're handling. Yeah, Dylan. You don't really care about her. Do you? We haven't seen you talk to her.

And when you do, you're like insecure and like sniveling. You're like, and they just really, it's like, what a bitch. I think that's probably my favorite bachelorette thing ever, though. One day in, they're like, oh, man, I love this girl so much. I love, God, I can't wait for my life with her, and it's going to happen. And this fucker, this little fucker over here, he's ruining it. But there's something to be said about the psychology of shows like this, where they set up, the correct term for this is isolation.

when you're in a house with all of this and the primary focus is making this one person love you, I do believe that something psychologically shifts and everything and anything becomes about that person and you do go a little nuts. I think that's part of these reality shows, which is such an interesting subcontext of it. That really truly is the most important thing,

most important woman in the entire world. And by thing, I wasn't calling her a thing. I'm saying the show itself is the most important thing. Yeah, want to you to relax, Thomas. Just wanted to clarify. Just wanted, yeah, fucking Thomas. He, I, I pegged him wrong. Yeah, I thought he was a sweet little guy.

Yeah, he is a, he's just a mad little guy. Yep. But, uh, angry elf. Yeah. Oh, boy. But we get to the group date dinner and, uh, Jonathan steals her. And my whole thing here, why aren't we up in arms about Jonathan stealing her? It's still a group setting.

This is no different than earlier. It's just now you're sitting down to, eat. Although I did really love the little shots of them walking throughout the city and every time that they pan back to them, a different guy was holding her hands. I know. Could you imagine? That's the same thing.

I thought you were going to go there when you were talking about walking through the airport. If you're walking in the city and you look over and there's one girl with like, obviously you know it's The Bachelorette, but there's eight guys walking behind her and then you see at the end of the block she switches and other guys hold her hand. You're like, what the fuck is going on over there? I wrote down in my book when they got to the market.

Imagine seeing this crew at the market. So I wrote wrote it down a few times. I just thought it would be redundant. Yeah. But, yeah, no, you're right. The idea of physically seeing this transpiring in a public setting honestly would probably be off-putting. Really off-putting. Yeah, I don't think I'd enjoy it. I would probably say some mean things. Yep.

But we get the group rows ceremony, if you want to say that. And, all right, there's a group rose going to be given at the end of this whole thing. And Aaron's still being a bitch. he's still talking about Devin. You need to get over it. In this game, what I've learned is whoever's moving forward with the correct goal in mind and that's falling in love with the Bachelorette herself.

That's the goal. Get off of the fucking dudes. I think Devin's playing it right the entire time. I think by him focusing primarily on her, it's going to win him a lot of favor. Yeah, and it works well with his personality, and that's the thing that he's doing the entire time is he's being Devin.

Yes. People are getting upset about that. the people who didn't get upset about that, i.e. Grant and Jonathan, the two of them still had a great time, had no problem with what Devin was doing because they've accepted how this works. They still got their time with Jen. If you're patient, you're going to get your time with Jen. Just make the most out of it. And don't worry about Devin. He was, it was so funny because Aaron kept saying, you know, I'm just going to get in his head. I got to make sure that he understands what's going on here. Devin thought that he was in Aaron's head. You're definitely an

Aaron's head. Oh, absolutely. Oh, absolutely freaking out. He's about to, like, curl up in the fetal position and sob because of how much you're living in his head. Yep. But Grant, but Grant,

smooth, bro. Very smooth. And he is very smooth. And he is not focused on anybody else in the house, but her and himself, as you should be. And when he gets a, like, his time, he makes the most of his time. Yep. And he's, and he didn't beatbox this episode.

I'm bunched by, God. Why? What do you mean? What if he was like, What do you mean? What do you mean? Give me a kiss. Oh, God, dude.

Don't give him a rose. That's the answer. You're right. You're right. But he knows the games. I don't think he did the beatboxing. I'm pretty sure now to make a statement. And now he knows it's time to turn on the suave.

He's Rico suave at the moment. He's smoother than anybody else. Sam M. He's losing me a little bit. He's just hot. He's just hot. Nothing else there. No, I don't think he has a lot to offer.

I think that that's made apparent when they sit down together. And I'm jumping around a little bit She just wants to fuck him Yep That's all I don't know what it is We're just pulled together You bother me

You just want to fuck him Jen You bother me Well you fluster me Well I want to I just want to bang you right now Hot and bothered Or just bothered It was funny too

When he said that line And she goes What do you mean bothered And I'm like Oh man Is she gonna take offense to that That would be funny What do you mean

What do you mean I bother you Yeah That would have been really if I had the same notion And then nope Nope Let's play to Ansel hockey Yep

Yep But let's get back to where we're at. By the way, five makeouts this episode. Was there five? I thought there was more. Keeping track. I did too. I wrote down Kiss.

There was more. You fell short. Kiss? Because here's the first one with Grant. And I wrote kiss, exclamation point. I also rated the kisses by the what punctuation. You can tell. I didn't realize it.

Just with an exclamation point. But like, are you excited about the kiss or was it? No, that means like solid kiss. I think I subconsciously put punctuation. Did not have you rating. kisses. I didn't either. This is a subconscious rating, so I realized I did different punctuation for different kisses. Sounds like you're a little bothered. I haven't me bothered. Look, I'm man enough to admit it. That was a sleepy moment. Yeah, I am in swim trunks. We came straight from the pool.

I'm in swim trunks. Look, I'm secure enough of my masculinity. It was a steamy kiss. So kiss exclamation point. There you go. Second date card comes out as this is going on. It's a solo date with I might be my favorite, honestly, as Marcus gets the one-on-one. I think Marcus deserves the one-on-one. He's been cool, calm, collected, and he's got a great backstory, and I have, I'll save it for later. Yeah, we'll just save it for what we talk about it. But I love that, you know, and you get this with groups of men

where it's the false excitement. Oh, because it says, like, let's fall in love. Like, hey, hey, you got it. Shit, now I have to go on a group date and figure it out. Man, I hate Marcus. I deal with this. Fucking Army Ranger, asshole. That's what they're saying in their brains, but.

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We're eating snacks. We're raiding snacks. Like the snackologist we were born to be. Mates is back. Mike and Tom, eat snacks. Wherever you get your podcast. Unless you get them from a snack machine, in which case, call us. Goodbye. Summer movies, Hello Fall. I'm Anthony Devaney. And I'm his twin brother, James. We host Raiders of the Lost Podcast, the ultimate movie podcast, and we are ecstatic to break down late summer and early fall releases. We have Leonardo DiCaprio leading a revolution in one battle after another, Timothy Salome, playing power ping pong in Mari Supreme. Let's not forget Emma Stone and Jorgos' Bougonia. Dwayne Johnson, he's coming for that Oscar in The Smashing Machine.

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It's Devin. Because, oh, yeah, yeah, I know, I know. I love that immediately the name tag at the bottom right or bottom left corner changes to Devin, not Dylan. They do a good job with those. Yeah, the producers do a great job with that. Like, I think later with Hakeem, it said, afraid of spiders. Should have not said that he was afraid of spiders. Is that what it said?

You know what that reminds me of? What? Was it blind date, the TV show? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. up like funny little blurbs at the bottom. Yep. Yeah, that's a really funny moment. Was it next?

It could have been next. It could have been both, honestly. Yeah. But regardless. Anyway, go on. Yeah. Back to Aeron and Devin. Aaron's breakdown of Devin is alarming.

Honestly, if I met somebody, if I met a dude and within 48 hours, let's say, it takes 24 hours to get the Australia. So let's say within three days. Yep. This person is psycho analyzing me and saying that she doesn't want a boy. I don't feel like you're ready. I would be like, bro, you need to back the fuck up. That's psychotic.

You don't know me at all. You can't break down my psyche in a few days. You don't even know my name. I thought, weirdly enough, I thought that Devin handled that pretty well. I thought he handled himself well the entire time. I would not have. I would have been laughing the whole time. I know you would have been brutal for me.

You know what you would have done, especially if you're a little drunk. You would have been playing with a pearl necklace. I know you too. You're like, that's cute. Oh, God, if he broke that book out, I would have lost it. I would have absolutely lost it. Why do people not react that way? That's what I don't understand.

I'm like, Devin is still remaining kind of calm, and he's like, what the fuck is this? Like, all right, whatever. Why is no one laughing? He's having a good time. I don't get it at all. Again, I think that goes to the psychology of it all, which is a different podcast. This is a silly goose podcast for this. But Aaron's saying, you know, you're wasting your time.

How do you know? like you what are you talking about and he goes shoot your shot he goes I am you just have a problem with how I'm doing it because you're too much of a bitch to do it yourself not your problem or not my problem but whatever Aaron finally gets his time with Jen this back and forth this carousel of Devin and Aaron was delightful I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of this because he look I understand that each guy is trying to navigate this the best that they can I understand that that not everybody has game and that's okay and you got to play with what you got. Do not intro with hi, my name's Aaron in case you forgot just because you didn't get your time

with her because that makes you seem like you're self-pitying. She's not going to be attracted to that, especially when you're sitting there in a pearl necklace. He has 18 guys to talk to. Right. Maybe she doesn't remember your name actually. Don't call attention to it. No, no. Just be like, hey, I'm glad I finally get some time with you.

Anything but the self-pity, sniveling little name Aaron. It's nice to see you. And you may forget about me? Look, I'm pretty quiet and reserved, and I just don't want to deal with a lot of these things that come along. Like, shut up. You're on The Bachelorette. Why are you here?

Grow up. Or kick rocks. Dick rocks. You know what the best thing that could possibly happen right now is? Devin walking in the room with ice cream again was a great move. Taking the entire cart in there. Fucking great. It's funny.

And look, this is exactly. It wouldn't have happened if Aaron didn't take Devin aside. Devin's M.O. has been, and always will be probably, to try to be the first person to talk to her. He wants to leave that lasting impression. He wants to talk to her. Fine, whatever. Let him have his time and then he's done.

Just get it. You're going to get your time and then you move on. Be like Grant, be like Jonathan, and understand that. If you take him aside and say, well, yeah, I just don't understand why you're here. I'm going to question your motives. And if you're good for Jen, yeah, you deserve him to then interrupt your date once again because he knows that he has you rattled. And as soon as he says, hey, I'm going to step in here.

You might like kicking rocks for a little bit? you can't do anything about it. He's already got you. And the other thing is that these guys aren't understanding. And this is such an important part that Jen herself points out by you dictating and saying what she wants and how you think that she would respond to any kind of guy here is you speaking on her behalf. You don't know her that well either.

And you're saying that you know better than she does for herself, which is belittling and a dumb way to play the game. Because when she finds out that you're saying that, i.e. Thomas N. later, she's not going to be stoked who are you to say that devon's not the right fit for me you don't know me that well and i'm not going to have a man tell me who i'm supposed to be with go fuck yourself a a ron but he seems to think that he's got everything figured out because he read one self-health book on the plane ride there but when he brings them ice cream i again i like how devon handles himself with that brief moment that he has with her before erin comes back in because erin has to go out and talk to

to to brian yeah of all people you pick brian to talk to or is Devin talking to Brian? Devin was talking to Brian. My bad. Yeah, okay. But he comes back and Aaron goes out and Aaron's peeved. Because I'm really peeved. He is a guy that would say peeved.

I really don't like him. So glad he's on your team. You idiot. Yeah. I almost picked him out to spite you. Hey, it's okay. Look, I'm still alive, but it's okay. The biggest thing to take away from Devin and Jen's time is, look, I'm not egotistical.

I'm just trying to get in here and get my time with you whenever I can. She's into it. She's picking up what he's putting down. Aaron is the one that's making it seem like it's got different motives because he won't leave it alone. Like you said, if you let Devin get in there and do his thing and then he will leave and he'll go about his business. He wants the one-on-one in the beginning. If you try to intervene is when you're going to run into problems. But Aaron reenters and it's not nearly as charming as when Devin did it.

It's much more like, oh, God, this guy's back. I think, and I wrote this down, the biggest thing is, uh, stop making it about the boys. Guys, stop making it about the boys. Just make it about Jen. A lot of testosterone in that room. Way too much testosterone. But you know who wins? Devin.

And this is a three dot kisses her. Dot, dot, dot, dot. Yeah. Because I'm hesitant. Not even that. It was more so, like, did this really work? Did he actually come out on top here? and I do believe he did.

At that point in time, yeah. At that point in time, he got Aaron, but I thought it was a ballsy move to keep doing that whole thing. But after this, I love these scenes. It's just the boys. And you get Aaron with the boys and Devin. And the way that Aaron talks to him, it's almost like the arrogance that Aaron has on who he thinks he is

is very intriguing to me. Because he's, what does he say? Are you happy with yourself? You proud of yourself? Because I'm disappointed at you. Like, when you're his dad? You fucking loser? Like, the way that Devin responds to all of these moments, when he explains himself, it doesn't come off as self-centered.

It comes off as I'm just trying to do my thing. I'm not telling anybody else here how to act, how to carry themselves, how to interact with Jen. I'm doing what I think is correct. And you guys do what you think is correct. But stop vilifying me for making the move. Yeah. And the eventual winner of this Rose Grant looks right across the room. He goes, dude, I get it.

You're good. Because he's focused on himself. I'm not talking to you. You're all right. Do whatever the hell you want to do. Later on, he says, Devon's got balls. Uh-huh. Dude's got balls.

Even Jeremy comes around on Devon. Yeah. And Jeremy in the beginning was like, oh, this is annoying. But then he was like, you know what? He's been nothing but himself. You got to give him some credit for that. The only people that are losing are the people focused on a dude. Yep.

But, hey, whatever. We get a lovely one-on-one with Marcus and Jen. This was a little skydive. Honestly, you could probably give him the ring now. Yep. Like this, he is leaps and bound. above everybody else after this one because he was a calming presence in the plan. Yeah, I think it really is.

It's a three-person race right now. Who's your three? I've got, in no particular order, Marcus, Grant, and Dylan. Marcus Grant and Dylan. Yep. Actual Dylan, not Devin, Dillon. Not Devin, Dylan. Real Dylan.

I think that that's a good three. Yep. I think that Sam M. is going to stick around for a while. He's going to fizzle out. He's the sexual interest. Once you get to the point, I'm assuming this is how this show works, haven't watched it before, but I'm assuming somewhere in the middle of the season, there's going to be some sort of intellectual time where you get to actually have a real

conversation, Sam's going to die there. I think so. I think that's a good, uh, the death pool. Oh, we got a death pool for bachelor. Oh, no. We already have teams drafted. We're good. I think that what we're going to end up seeing is I do know that when you get down, I don't

know if it's the final two, but there's a meet the family moment and that tends to be pretty massive where you go back to like their hometown. Yep. Uh, so I'm curious about that, but I agree. I think he's- I got the honeymoon suite at some point, yeah. Oh, is there, what is the conjugal visits? That's that what we're called?

That's what we're called the last time. Well, that's the other thing that I don't really understand right now. They're all staying at a hotel. Mm-hmm. Why aren't they staying at, like, some big house? Melbourne ranch. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know. How that's going to work? Maybe when they whittle down. Okay. But in the past, I do believe that there's homes. Okay. Yeah. Oh.

Oh. You think they go back to that? No, that place was. huge and there's only 11 of them left maybe not that place but a different place a smaller place i don't know i think it's pretty funny that bachelor seasons that i remember are in these gorgeous estates and they're in a fucking marriott in melbourne yeah yeah and they're stoked about the pool room wow you boys want to play pool later little billiards boys you guys want to play eight ball hell yeah oh yeah oh yeah fuck jenn let's play some pool past the time hell yeah but this date like

i said it was it was great marcus got so many subtle points that i wrote to landing on his feet getting out of the plane massive she she kind of flops a little bit he just like walks away as an army ranger he's calm cool collected the entire time she picked the perfect date for him to win on yep and then they go to a date in a library was that what that was it looked like library gorgeous and he takes the time to say like he had the best dynamic of like what a man that you want to be right you get like the i'm so calm jumping out of a plane i'm going to calm you down. We're going to make it down there. And then I'm going to open up to you and cry and tell you a very, very remarkable story. And thank you for your service genuinely. What a fucking

just that story was incredible. Yeah. A bit of a trauma dump. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I wonder if that one's going to come back to haunt him a little bit. I don't think so. I don't think so either, but I don't know. Was it a, was it a move? Yes. It was definitely a move. Was it still heartfelt and warming? Yes. Did I tear up at the pool? Of course you did. You're damn right.

I did. Oh, God. I'm watching The Bachelorette. This is really hot on you. And I didn't cry. But when he was talking about standing over the grenade and then his boys came back to make sure he got out of their alive, could have shed a tear. Yeah.

Joked up. That was, look, drama dump, perhaps. Did he? Lots to take him? But he got a kiss and a rose out of it. He got, what kind of kiss did he get? Hold on. Yeah.

What punctuation are we using here? I just wrote a great kiss So you got a great kiss And I did write tears, nice Did not get you bricked up But not bricked up more I got my soul bricked up Yeah, that was a soul pleasing

You love that around here Yeah, it was just nice It was a nice kiss after a nice date They seemed like they could actually be happy together I do have a question If you get chosen for the one-on-one date Yes You automatically get a rose right away

So you have to earn it You still have to earn it You can get at the end of the date and not get it. Next week, I need a one-on-one date without the rose. Or they just walk past the rose. Or there's like this whole awkward pause. I would love that. I think that we'll get that eventually because, no, you're not guaranteed a rose ever.

Okay. I've gathered that much at least. But second group date, my guarantee of the air back. Oh, dude, Xavier was loving life. He needs to get a show. Yeah, he was putting on a show. He was phenomenal. It was awesome.

He was Xavier. He was the Wrangler. and then the photographer, the blonde-haired gentleman, he was great, too. Get them on the show, even if they're just, like, hanging out with the guys. Put them on a show. Some show. Anything. They were phenomenal.

Very thoroughly enjoyed them. This, again, dudes arrive. Oh, it's going to really bother me every time. Gentlemen. Oh, no, I forgot about that. Thank you. Thanks for bringing that back up. Hakeem is such a dork.

Yeah. I'm sorry. And not because of the spider thing. Not like an endearing way. No, just like he's still clapping when everyone else settles down. I was like, yeah, woo-woo. It's like, guys don't actually do that a lot. I think that he read how to be a dude for dummies.

I love that he was sitting there, too. Aren't koalas also, like, not cool to hold on to? I don't know. I did hold one. They were like a little aggressive. I don't know, but you know what somebody did hold? What? A quaca.

Yeah, that was a furry little guy. That's what bit me down there. Yep. Yeah, right here. Yeah, but, you know, a lot of, A lot of Colbecks for me. It made me feel nostalgic. Yep.

Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Fucking hell. But, I mean, I did think that Hakeem got blackballed a little bit. Oh, my God. He's off to the side while other people are doing their thing talking about what he doesn't want.

Don't put one of those very little spiders on me. Of course they have a spider back there. You moron. He's a big old spider. And you know, and this is, again, why their production is top tier, throwing that in there saying he shouldn't have said that he was afraid of spiders, they ran to Xavier's people and said, hey, we need a spider for that guy right there. And that's exactly what we want.

He lifted up. He goes, fuck, I didn't bring one. And he lifted up a rock and goes, yeah, she's a beautiful. That's the work. Yeah, I'll throw this on him. Yeah, this will be fun. Is it quite kind of venomous? Is it poisonous?

Extremely, but I'll tell him it's only kind of. It's a Brazilian wandering. I love the question to where he's like, yeah, if you start on the arm, he might walk up to your neck, but just, you know, be calm and just make sure you stay still. Don't. What if I put him up here? Is he still going to go from my neck? Yeah, he'll just get there quicker.

What the fuck? What are you talking about? What a dumb-ass question. I think he was just panicking. He was trying to figure out. Poor Jedd has to sit there like, oh, God, this guy is a huge pussy. She's comforting him. I know.

It's like, it's okay. You're okay. And he's like, woo. He was doing like the Will Smith from Hitch when he sees himself in the mirror. Yeah. Hakeem, I know it's scary for it. How would you have reacted? I would be, I've done the spider thing.

If it's safe enough for. something to, like, be brought out. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't be ecstatic about it, but you got to swallow your fucking fear, yeah. You wouldn't be like, no. Even the picture of the fucking screenshot, he's petrified. It was tough. But I feel bad. I mean, that's a tough spot to be in.

Yeah. Especially if you don't like spiders. I don't dislike Hakeem. Well, neither do I. I just think he's dork. He's a total dork, but that could play. Because you need some of that. Yep.

Like, that could play if she gets tired of. Spencer's already kind of got that. Spencer, he scares me a little bit. He's a dork in a different way. Yeah, he scares you a little bit. Yeah, I don't love Spencer, honestly. What are the things going on there? I don't know. I don't know. Gives me the hebe-chebys a little.

I can't wait to see his kiss punctuation. Oh. No, no, no, no, don't spoil it. We'll get there. We'll get there. But you get the one-on-one with Dylan, which was a no-brainer. That's because Dylan stepped up. You have to. That was the easiest thing in the world.

Thank you. She's afraid of snakes. I'm so, and look, it took Xavier looking over, or the photographer looking over, saying, hey maybe one of these guys want to help you I would have been up immediately before he even says it Yeah right See her a little kid That's an easy opportunity

You know what Let me hold on to the snake You just look pretty I'll take the picture Yeah you walk up easy As soon as they bring that bad boy out You don't even wait You go let me grab that

And you know it look Like you said The biggest thing with any of these animals They're not gonna kill you Or they wouldn't bring them out That thing was wrapped around his neck That thing was sick I was sick

I was a little scared for it first Are you scared of snakes Uh, no, not really. Okay, yeah, I'm not at all. I love snakes. I think they're sick. Yeah. Yeah, when I was growing up, I went to reptile school and zoo school in Texas in the summer.

Okay. Yeah. I wanted to be a herpetologist. You know what that is? Not what it sounds like. That's who studies reptiles. So I sounds like they need one of these guys on this show with all these makeouts, am I right? Probably.

Hey-oh. Gross. Anyway, we get the one-on-one with Dylan and, uh, Hakeem does. himself no favors because the quick cut to him is like, you know, I, I step up. I stepped up. He didn't. That wasn't a step up moment. That's not a macho moment. You had to do it. You know what you definitely don't say. You know, I do have me my mom to kill spiders for me at the house. I'm like, okay, wait, did he just let slip also that there's nothing wrong with living with your parents, especially in this economy. Don't get me wrong. But if I'm on a show where I'm up

against a bunch of macho, quote unquote, that's a big quotation of macho. All right. I don't actually You think that. A lot of entrepreneurs. Yeah, a lot of entrepreneurs. But if you're up against this crew, don't let it slip that your mommy still kills spiders for it. That's all I'm saying. Keep that one tucked away. It's okay.

I'm not judging you. It's okay. Yeah, it's fine. You do what you got to do. But don't let it slip in omnische. It's a game at the end of the day, pal. Hekeem. It's a game.

Okay, play the game. But we get the date with Dylan and he's got the perfect setup because obviously this is a rushed process to find love. My parents got married in six months. I'm like, dude, nice. great call relatable very relatable he's a little awkward but very swab there's something confident

but but uh just took the MCATs works I'm anxious about the result he's honest he's vulnerable a little bit she gets it she's also in the healthcare profession yeah she resonates with him she gets she's picking up what he's putting down and uh oh he just gets kiss

no punctuation that is a solid kiss I think that's why there's no punctuation gets kiss solid kiss okay fine yeah good date i think you're right i think he's he moved up a lot of notches he was doing fine before like he was never i had him probably what was there 18 guys left yes before he was probably like nine oh before midway huh like right in the middle because he didn't do a ton not because he didn't deserve to be higher he was just

kind of like skating by yeah but did enough so i had him like nine before now he's probably top two or three yeah but uh Pool boys. Just about pool boys and they're shooting pool. And Aaron is talking about Devin. Still. Dude, get out of it. You just got to get out of it.

Like, why are you so stuck on this guy? This is a you problem. It's a you problem at this point. But he's like, you know what? This is chapter 18. Help a brother in need. So I'm going to go and I'm going to talk to it. It's my responsibility to make sure that this guy becomes a better person.

I don't want him. I don't want this cancer spreading to the rest of the group. The guys are not your concern. That's crazy talk. I'm with you. If he came up to me and said, I want to do this for you, I'd be like, get the fuck away from me. I'm going to knock you out, Aaron. Yeah.

Like, this is crazy. You don't know me. I agree with you. We need one guy on the show that's just a dude. Just a normal dude. What a loser. Nice necklace, dickhead. Take your book and shove it up your ass.

I'm going to get a beer. It would have been so much funny if he had him a book he just throws it over the balcony. I would have thrown it in the fire. That's what I was thinking. Immediately throw that in the fire.

I'll buy you another one. I don't care. Just symbolism. Don't even like entertain it. Yeah. But the conversation's hysterical. And, you know, he's like, you came off as arrogant

and now I'm in this position where I need to talk to you and he's like, you're questioning my character. You don't know me, which is correct. And he's like, you know what, man? Maybe I can't even fucking say it.

Maybe you need to take a step back and say, what, maybe Aaron's right. Maybe Aaron's right. Like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'm going to admit that's what I need to do. Yeah. But he's like, I just want to talk to Dylan. Again, wrong guy. Go talk to Dylan then. Oh, he's on a one-on-on-one. Sorry. You can't. He's doing better than you. Yeah. So you got to talk to Devin, not Dylan. And he says, I mean this out of a place of love that you lack depth. You lack depth. It's coming for a place of love. Psycho. This guy's a psycho. Depth was on, we just looked it up. Depth was on the cover of that book. Oh, good call. So he just pulled it from that. Oh, what a loser.

And then this is the moment where he pulls out the, let me use, I got a book. Let me give you my book, which also, I think that was intentionally. Yeah, weird. No one says that. No. If I had a book that I read, I'd say, hey, man, I want to give you a book, a book. A book.

I've been reading a book for you. A book. Yep. Hey, you want to read a book? Because I just finished a great one. not, I'm going to give you my book. I just finished my book. Written by Dr. O'Connor.

I really thought it was going to be his personal book. That would have been so much better. I actually might have given him props for being that much of a self-centered dick. That would have been hilarious. But he's one of those guys, you know these dudes. He's one of those guys that goes under the mask of, I'm just trying to look out for everybody. I'm trying to make sure that, you know, everything's fair. And, you know, I want my time.

And then they get, like, hurt puppy dog when they're not the one. picked. They're the guy that's like the nice guy always finishes last. That's who Aaron is. And they're the worst kind of guy. At least Devin is honest about who he is. And he's not even a dick. No. I don't understand it. Every time that he's confronted he's just defending himself. Yeah, he's like,

I don't know why you guys are so concerned. He could have taken her away and started talking shit on the rest of the guys. He didn't do that. Because that would be a dumb thing to do, Thomas. I'm Amy Nicholson, the film critic for the LA Times. And I'm Paul Shear, an actor, writer and director. You might know me from the league, Veep, or my non-eligible for Academy Award role in Twisters.

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DC comic stories adapted directly for audio for the very first time fear I have to make them afraid he's got a motorcycle get after him or have you shot you mean blow up the building from this moment on none of you are safe new episodes every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts promise we're almost there because the next thing is the cocktail party and uh this is like Did you watch the biggest loser? No. Last chance workout? No.

That show looking back was so toxic. Yeah, I'm sure. For everybody. Great watch was a big, biggest loser fan. They stop eating and just work out the whole time. They do like five a days. Oh, my God. And they do it to the point where, you know, there's healthcare professionals and people

are about to have like hard attacks. But regardless, they had a moment where even this as a personal trainer and like health professional now, not health care professional. Do not get that twisted. Just I am a personal trainer. I'm, let me just make that very clear. You're making it very unclear. I know, I'm digging a whole.

Stop talking, move on. I'm a personal trainer, period. Okay, that's all I'm qualified to do. Let me get back on track here. Being a personal trainer and thinking back on that last chance workout thing is psychotic. They would have, like, one more workout to drop, like, three pounds. They would run 50 miles. Trash bags?

They're running in trash. Yeah, no, like shit like that, like really, really bad for you. But this is the same. Those are the days. Make it wait for football games. Yeah, good old days. Making wait for football games. Yeah, pound football.

Oh, fuck. No, no, I never played pound football. No, I thought, I was thinking wrestling. But remember those dudes who was it, Nick? And they would, like, they would spit. They wouldn't swallow their own spit to cut, like, a half a pound. Yep. Anyway, we got it off on a tangent.

My point is, the cocktail party is the equivalent of the last chance workout. This is the time for you guys to get in there and make a name for yourself if you haven't. We have not pointed out that before this is when I think it was Jahan addressed the group and said, hey, guys, because of the second date, the group date, we really didn't get a lot of time when they were taking pictures and then Dylan Wister off.

Can you respect our time for the ones that didn't get it? Devin was the first one to say, look, I'm not going to go to the back of the line. Yep. But yeah, I got you. No problem. I'll make sure you get your time. That's all he said. He didn't make any promises.

That'll work out for you, Jehan. Yeah. I'm not good. Why, Jahan? Because you, yeah. You get your while at one time, I don't think. At least we didn't see it. And if he did, he didn't go very well.

But immediately at the cocktail party, Devin steps in and whisks her off. That's not breaking the rules. That's not going against what he said. He takes her first. Arguably, he's standing by what he said. I'm getting this out of the way because I'm going to do it at some point, guys. Let me be first. Then take it.

Take it from here. Bye. He goes in and the butt-hurted. around the room is palpable. You could taste the barren's going. Thomas is going. Thomas N.

Thomas N. Thomas N showed his true colors, man. And it is just a bad fucking look. What also wasn't great, and I think that he needs to to check himself in the future is how Devin relays

what's going on amongst the group because he's like, oh, before the chaos. Like, don't let slip the things are going on. Nope. Let her find out a different way. Don't be the guy that's talking about the crew. The funniest, funniest line that will probably be the funniest line of the entire season. Aaron says, I thought he read the book.

That's the best. God, I thought it really got to him. How do I reach him if not with the book? You won't reach anybody. You're creepy. You're a fucking weirdo. Like, back off, dude. Your brother is definitely better at this game than you are.

Yeah, I hope. I haven't seen Noah. his name i don't know why i remember that but it's weird that you remember that no herb how about that isn't that weird i don't remember shit i remember that but thomas n enters the one-on-one between devon and jenn and i can't believe he even got a rose after this debacle he grabs devon and says i didn't talk to you a quick big man his hand big man weird big man big man don't do that it's pointing out that you're smaller yep don't be that guy because he doesn't it's not necessarily

You don't have that complex necessarily, but you're coming off that you do. Also, kick them out and you sit down with Jen. That's it. Yeah. Because what's it about? It's about Jen. It's about Jen. It's about The Bachelorette.

You walk into that room and you say, hey, I think you've had enough time. It sounds like you've been kind of doing this and that. How about I take a sit down? Perfect. Yep. That's it. Yep. Hey, man.

Oh, you know what? You know what you're doing? You're alerting her that all of you know that he's been doing this the whole day. it makes him look a little bad because he's trying to take up too much time not letting Jen get to know everybody and you're inserting yourself. Then you sit down with Jen

and you don't say another word about him. You talk to Jen. Talk to Jen and ask her about her day. Not, oh man, sorry about that. I got to do this for the boys. This is for the boys. Why do you care? You don't know these men.

You're never going to talk to him again after this. But instead, he grabs Devon and goes, come on, big man and takes him into the other room. And you know what else would have been good? If he walked in and goes, hey man, just took a page out of your book. book and then kick Devin out. Yeah.

That's like there's so many better ways to do it than pulling Devin out for 10 minutes. You know what actually would have been the best move of all time. What's the best one? If a third party who knew that Thomas was going up there to pull Devin walked over and said, I don't know what the hell of that's all about, but I'm going to take some time right here. Yeah, that's perfect. Oh, man. Thomas goes, I'm going to go talk to Devin, Devin's sitting with Jen.

That means Jen's left unattended. You walk up and say, I don't know what the hell of their issue is, but we take some time for us. That's a, oh, somebody missed a big up. And then you walk away from that place, too. Totally. Because then when they come back, she's not there? And then they fight.

Yep. What the fuck, man? Oh, it's your fault. Somebody got us, damn. Thomas is the loser here. Yeah, Thomas lost. But he gets the last. Somehow, after Aaron's performance, Thomas loses the worst.

Which is, I know. And that's hard to do in this whole situation. But what's funny to me, and this shows you that he's not that guy. You're not that guy, pal. Yeah. As he's barking at Devin, he's short of breath, which is showing me that he's nervous. He's not the confrontational type, despite people wanting him to think that he is, because he's like, you went in there and I'm like, oh, no, if you're going to be that guy, like, at least be that guy. You're not that guy, pal.

You're not that guy. But it also shows that he's not that guy because he finally gets Devin to leave. Devin walks in, says something to Jen. Hey, I guess my time's up here, whatever I'm going to go. You got what? A minute with her? Before Sam M pops up. He's the third party.

He's just a little bit late. walks up and just stands there and he goes I guess I got to go you could have said anything you could have said you know what give me another minute I just had to go talk to Devin about this he's been taking too much time I need my time with Jen yeah but instead Sam probably would you know he might step in yeah I don't know

we're not really sure he's starting to show his true colors but oh he's a douchebag yeah he's gonna come out in in full color soon him getting mad this is this is what drives me fucking I'm saying oh this grinds your gear yeah Every opportunity that Sam has had with Jen has worked out fine. You got the first impression, bros. Great job.

You made out with her. You're the first makeout. Great job. You make out with her again. Why are you concerned about Devin? I don't know. You should just be hanging in the back. Like, I've got this made right now.

I'm going to cruise into the last five easily. Easily. Just based off of doing what I've been doing. Because she wants to bang me. You can ride that wave until you have to show her that you're an idiot, which is coming soon. Yep. And then you got to figure out how to change your gameplay.

For now, don't get involved in the chaos. Devin is just rattling everyone. Grant. Grant is playing the game that Dylan and Grant are one and two. Yep. Dylan Grant are one and two. Marcus, too. Marcus isn't going to get involved in any of that shit.

Marcus is like a standalone category, honestly. Yeah, I don't know. Even when shit's going on, he's nowhere to be found. I don't know. Where was he? You're right. I didn't see him at all. He probably got a rose and he's just seen. Were they not actually, maybe the one, who got the roses weren't invited to the cocktail party

when they were hanging out somewhere else? I don't know. This wasn't for them because they were already safe. Because I didn't see Marcus. I didn't really see Grant either. I didn't see Dylan. Yeah. Interesting.

I guess they were there, but they were just kind of floating around and they didn't need the one-on-one time with June. You don't need it, yeah. Yeah. But that is an interesting. That would be really funny if somebody that got the rose stepped in. So now I'm going to take more time with her.

Fuck all of you. I would have loved that. That's a great move. Because I am safe. It doesn't mean I don't want to get to know you better. Oh, that's good. fucking great line really good yeah it's not about the rose it's about you wow unless producers step in and they're like no no no no fuck the producers would love that

yeah that's it's gonna cause you know how Aaron would weep have the rose on your lapel and walk in and walk in fuck yeah Aaron would sob yep you already got your rose I wore my best pearl necklace and you're rooting I gotta go back to those two arguing a little bit because Devin he plays the game he's smart man, because he knows that Jen can hear. Yep. He's like, now you're objectifying Jen. You're saying that you know better.

I'm like, oh, I know what you're doing. It's working, by the way, because as soon as he gets back, as soon as Thomas N sits down, she goes, now you're telling me that you know better than I do. I'm like, oh, ho, ho, you're not getting a rose. And he does. And I think that what ended up happening when he does get the rose is she recognized the situation got a little chaotic. She's like, I'll bring you back.

You got to do better. Yep. But I liked you before this all happened. And maybe you were trying to be the hero for the guys. I don't really know, but we'll give you another shot. Got to prove yourself. He's, look, he's on the chopping block for sure. But even him snitching, like, he's just like a little bitch in that moment.

He's, like, snitching to Jen. Like, what, Devin did this the whole time? And he promised us that he wouldn't do this. And she didn't care. She's here for love. Nope. Not for the petty bullshit, Thomas. So kick rocks, Bell Sam M's.

He slides in real quick. And he gets ponged. Like the fact that he came in and goes, let me just say, I'm just going to get my time with her baby. That's what he says. Let me get that time with the baby. He daps him up as he walks away.

Like you don't, that's what's so funny to me is Thomas doesn't recognize that Sam M just did the same thing that Devin did. It's just he's playing it as the guys of the cool guy. Yeah, like get out of here. It's not in your face about it, but he's doing the same shit. Yeah, get out of here, nerd.

It's my time with her. They don't say more than two words. Have you noticed what he quotes frequently? what jalen hurts and philly sports really i had imagined he's a philly he goes he has said trust the process multiple times in both episodes and he also said make the main thing keep the main thing the main thing twice wow i think he's a philly sports guy i need to look at his instagram changes my perspective a little bit check pull his instagram up right now yeah i don't know his actual last name i'm literally typing in sam m bachelorette

Well, that didn't do shit. Yeah, hold on. Here we go. Sam M. Bachelorette. Sam McKinney. M-C-K-I-N-N-N-E-Y. Oh, there it is, McKinney, 23, yeah. A couple pictures of him and Jen from the Bachelorette.

I've got no No Philly sports picks No Philly sports picks That was your chance And you blew it Still has high school football pictures on here Oh no From 2014 dude grew up

That's a tough look Base school baseball too You want to check tape You want to check my tape We can check tape He is a baseball player That's not surprising He strikes me yep

That tracks You're doing a deep dive right now Yeah I just got a little distracted He's just so pretty. Just making fun. No, I was making fun of them. But as they're sitting there, I mean, they literally say two things. She says, you really fluster me.

Well, I'm glad I fluster you because you bother me. I bother you. Bad word choice. And I wrote tonsill hockey. That's what they get. They got a tonsil hockey. Straight up tonsil hockey. And the next page I wrote, she wants to fuck.

Absolutely. That's all. And she says he centers me. Yeah, on that dick. that's good did you write that one no i wish i just wrote he centers me and then i just thought of that's how quick i am good i could be an improv so the next couple of things like it just kind of flashes through quick jonathan has a smooch i wrote smooch that was a good smooch spencer gets kiss question mark exclamation point question mark quick dot dot agreed she wasn't loving that it was

awkward yeah yeah because even devon's kiss was awkward devon was awkward um spencer was awkward jonathan was good that was just a good smooch Yeah, Jonathan was a good, because she was feeling it. Yep. She felt that one. Sam, we know, yeah. Sam, I mean, that's just pure, like, animalistic. Grant.

Yeah. Grant was probably, I'd see, Marcus was the sweetest. Yep. Like, the most genuine. Yeah. Grant was the smoothest. Yep. Sam was the horniest.

Spencer was the most awkward. Jonathan was the most normal. Yeah. Like, middle of the road. I still have six kisses. That's all I got. Let's see. One, two, three.

Devin, four. And then the three individual dates. Or Devin and then the two individual dates. Devin's four. Hold on. Just settle down. Dylan, five. Marcus six.

Did she kiss Marcus? Yeah. As soon as they landed. That's what I was saying. What a move. Oh, Marcus. Oh, sorry. I was thinking of someone else.

Marcus is six and then Marvin for some reason. Marvin's gone. No, no, no, not Marvin. And then, uh, uh, oh, that's, Kevin. Maybe it was six. Six kisses. Hold on. Kiss, exclamation point.

Who is that? Ah, that's Marcus. No. Who got divorced? That's such a weird thing to say. The one-on-one. Group date, dinner. Jonathan Jonathan

Yeah, we said that. No, I didn't. That's seven. Jonathan, Marcus, Dylan, Sam, M, Devin, and... Fuck, this is awesome podcasting. Yeah, no, let's just move on. This is tough. I'll cut this down.

Six plus. I'm going to say six plus, but let's talk about just real quick and then we'll get to the Rose ceremony. The Thomas and Devin outside was laughable. like he puts his fucking drink down like all right buddy like relax Devin's response to him putting his drink down which makes zero sense by the way oh what were you to do throw your drink at me no he might be punching you putting your drink down so that he can go punch you wait a minute maybe he was saying like

oh were you about to throw your drink and then you did yourself and put it down that way I don't know he's like no and this is such this is the only time where I was like all right I'm going to make fun of him for having like little guy syndrome I was not going to touch it until he says, you know, Devin's like, oh, what are you going to, like, fight me? And he goes, by the way, I beat your fucking ass. I was like, all right, now I'm going to make fun of you. I wasn't going to until then.

I have to. Now I have to, because relax. It's not that serious. You're just mad. Everyone, and you see it when they're all sitting there right before, like, the Rose ceremony or the cocktail party ends, and they're all kind of having their last talk. The guys that are doing well that are actually confident men understand it.

like, look, he's got balls. You can't knock him for that. He's doing his thing. Whatever. All the insecure little bitches on the show are the ones that are like, he's, he's taking my time. Well, that's where I don't understand where Sam comes in. Sam M comes in and starts talking, which, by the way, he's got an ego problem. Is there another Sam? I'm confused. Why is he sent? Yeah, Sam N. Oh, Sam N. Okay, yeah. He's the soft spoken. I think he cries a lot. Okay. I'm wrong with that. I just, that's the vibe. He's the one allergic to dairy. He's the lactose intolerant. Yeah. He's that one. You know, I keep confusing him with Thomas A.

yeah they're very similar similar types sure Thomas A was the puppy guy he's the puppy guy so yeah where Sam M comes in and now he's threatened by Devin yeah I think I think he's the the quote unquote alpha in his mind and he's like he's like you're not gonna fuck and this isn't gonna be how we operate I'm in charge I got that vibe when he walks up to Thomas and then that one interaction goes let me get some time baby I'm like you you're that guy you're the guy that thinks you're the coolest guy in the room, but, you know, you still have your high school baseball pictures of, or football, baseball, whatever, high school football. He had both.

Yeah, it's just not, you're that guy. Yep. You're that guy. Now, let's go through the rose ceremony, and then we'll talk teams a little bit, just to update everyone on where we stand. But, uh, let's see. Austin gets a rose. We didn't see much of Austin.

Didn't see any of Austin, really. Uh, Hakeen, the second rose. Surprising. It was Spencer, third rose, surprising. Do you think that she wrote this list backwards? I thought that if, when Austin popped up first. I forgot that Austin was there because we didn't see anything of them. I thought it was alphabetical. I thought it was alphabetical. Uh, no, it's not.

I know it's, I know it's not. No, because it goes Hakeem Spencer. It's some kind of order because you get Jeremy, Jonathan, John in a row. Yeah. No, but then it's Sam, Devin, Sam. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I don't think there's any particular order. Definitely not. But let's go through. We get Austin, Hakeem, Spencer, Jeremy, Jonathan, John, Thomas A, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Devin, A.A. Ron, Thomas, N. Last. Yep. Important. That was just, that's producers in her ear.

We're going to do him last. Well, maybe. I would agree with that 99.9% of the time, but I think maybe she wanted to send a message. Maybe she did. Like, hey, Dickhead, you need to do better. I want to get to know you, but you're too focused on knowing Devin. Yep. So we ended up losing Marvin.

Yeah. Nothing really there. Jahan. Yeah. again nothing really there and we lost seven we lost three there's a what's the numbers did we start with 18 we started with 18 we lost seven last year okay now we're down to 15 so we lost Marvin Jehan and shit I'm missing somebody oh and Brian

saw that coming yeah saw that coming surprised that Brian even got through the first round me too and he did nothing this episode he was the guy who jumped into Jeremy's car and stole that date and then just didn't do a thing. Is he jet lagged? What happened? I don't really know. Yeah, he was a, he, I thought he would bring more to the table. You know what? He's probably hung over.

I think he's probably hung over. Little jet lagged, a little hungover, and then Devin kind of took his place. And maybe he was so stoked to be in Melbourne. He's like, I don't care anymore. I'm going to go out and just kind of want to get eliminated and then just pay for my own hotel from here. Yeah, I'm just going to chill in Melbourne for a while because I got a free ticket out. Yeah, well, we need a little update on our teams. Yeah, yeah. Which, no change, by the way.

I know, everyone's still in. Everybody's still in it. So I've updated the leftovers for when we need it. Your team, Sam M. I know. Grant, good position. It's a big win. Thomas N.

Austin, didn't really see it a lot. And Thomas A, who got through. Again, we didn't see a whole lot of him either. My team is fucking hilarious. Dylan. That's a good one. Good one. Devin.

That could be a good one. Marcus Okay Solid Aaron I have Devin and Aaron on the same team Yeah that's funny

And Spencer The fun Here's the funny part Is You're solid guys You have more solid dudes Than I do Yeah

And then you have more train wrecks than I do Yeah Because like Sam M I've lost confidence In Sam M for sure Yeah Grant is a great front runner I'm glad that he's on my team

Thomas N And I love a good comeback story Austin's my wild card with the mullet and i like that we didn't see a lot of them this round yeah you know that's good it gets more screen time later not even that part if you're not you know if you're getting a rose and you're getting the first rose and we didn't see any of you it means you're doing well yeah it means you're not causing shit so i like that i like my team yeah but we do have leftovers here now this is where it's going to come into play oh shit yeah as we lose people you're gonna have

to redraft you're gonna have to redraft now i mean i could lose people you could lose people so obviously we'll have to redraft with a little rock paper scissors shoot okay but there's some good people left on the board over here we have john left saw nothing of john this episode jeremy hakeem jonathan and sam n all right jonathan's the best there best out of that group for sure like leaps and bounds but i mean it just goes to show you that our draft was pretty on point last week look we're good at predicting stuff we are good at predicting stuff uh i whoof out of that i don't know i mean jonathan is the only the only sturdy choice there but that's the thing that you don't know how this show is going to shake out, I thought Thomas N was a very calm choice.

I thought that was going to be like, he was kind of my, he's going to coast through this thing until like at least the later rounds, turns out that he snapped. I think the moral of this episode is if you're on this show, keep the main thing, the main thing. Yep. Focus on Jen. Stop getting. Sam hurts. Sam hurts.

Yeah, don't tie them together. That's bad juju for birds. Yeah, no. Sam M has taken a lot of steps back in my book, especially. with, I just don't, I don't, I didn't care for it. And then I saw what you saw. I'm like, oh, he's just, she just wants to bang. There's no depth there.

There's no depth. He needs to read that book. Aaron needs to give him his book. Yeah. Yeah. By Dr. O'Connor. Uh-huh.

Dr. Aaron O'Connor. But I, I absolutely love recapping the show. It is a blast. Yeah, it's very easy. So if you're out there and you want to join in on the fun, why don't you, you know, let's make up some teams. You can pick three. We get to pick five.

You send us your teams of three after this week. After this week. Sometime between now and Monday. Between now and Monday. And if you go three for three, we'll pick two people to go three for three. And I will send you a t-shirt. How about that? You go three for three.

The first two to send their teams in that go three for three, you will get a t-shirt. Fuck that. You got to go five for five for five. Yeah. Yeah. For sending t-shirts, I need five. If you go five for five, everyone makes to the next round. You will get a t-shirt if you're the first.

if you're the first two people to get it. Okay? That way you can join on the Bachelorette fun, but other than that, you got anything else? Nope. Well, Robbros are out of here. Bye. Here, the most popular fiction podcast of all time, which the New York Times described as what might occur if David Lynch was a producer at your local radio station. Welcome to Night Vale is a twice-monthly update from a small desert town, where the

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