Bros & Shows - Doute Gets Iced Out (The Valley Full Recap)
Episode Date: May 9, 2024What's up Bros? Its Valley time! In this episode, the group has decided to ice out Doute for bringing all the chaos. However, we find out that the root of the Michelle cheating rumor actually came fro...m Jax... Janet is taking center stage as being anti-Doute, but as we're starting to see more and more, she moves very similarly to Doute when it comes to rumors and gossip. The only difference is she doesn't blow up the whole party when she gets flustered. Jax and Brittany continue to show signs of a strained marriage and its becoming more and more evident why they are currently separated. Jesse continues to attempt to fix his marriage (too little too late) and honestly, Michelle doesn't really seem to care. Danny and Nia continue to be our beacon of light and we must protect them at all costs. Doute is relaunching/ rebranding James Mae, her t-shirt company and Zack jumps in to help out, despite the rest of the crew being soured on Doute. When Janet and Jason plan a group baby moon to Big Bear, the only ones not on the invite list are Doute, Luke and surprisingly Zack. While Luke and Doute seem irritated by this, Zack is visibly upset as he feels like an outsider since everyone moved to the Valley. This season is still delivering and never thought wed see the day that The Valley is drastically better than Vanderpump Rules. Introducing BravBros Members! Offering exclusive access, bonus episodes, monthly Q&A zoom and more! Use the link below to join! https://thebros.memberful.com/join Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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There you are, pushing your newborn baby in a stroller through the park.
The first time out of the house in weeks.
You have your Starbucks, venty, because, you know, sleep deprivation.
You meet your best friend.
She asks you how it's going.
You immediately begin to laugh.
Then cry.
Then laugh cry?
That's totally normal, right?
She smiles.
You hug.
There's no one else you'd rather share this with.
You know, three and a half hour sleep is more than enough.
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As there's a drive in a deep left field by Castellanos, it will be a...
Oh man, it's 8 o'clock.
And so that'll make it a...
I don't need the spotlight.
I shine just fine.
Hi, I'm Karma.
And yes, I am a bitch.
Brov Bros.
Good evening, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Brav Bros.
Your favorite podcast from The Bros.
For everybody, for whoever wants to listen, I am your co-host, St. Russell.
joined as always by the one and only snoots my poots.
Welcome to the show.
Oh, hey, welcome in, guys.
Welcome on in.
We used a lot of energy on that VPR recap,
so if you're listening to this and you didn't listen to that,
you might want to listen to that first.
Yeah, yeah, I would.
You'll understand why this one is going to be the way it is
because if you have been with us for a long time,
you know that when we do multiple recordings back to back,
the later episodes tend to get a little strange.
We get a little loopy.
Yeah, we're going to do our,
We're hungry, we're tired, and we're happy.
And we're happy.
No, I'm happy.
I'm happy.
It felt good.
There was something cathartic about that Vanderpump episode.
I feel lighter.
Yeah.
I feel like I got something off my shoulders.
Yeah.
You know, and hopefully we never have to watch it again.
I talked about a while ago doing an episode where, like, I lay down on the couch.
Like a therapist one, yeah.
I would think, when I was thinking about it originally, it was during, like, an episode of the OC, when we really don't like it or whatever.
I think the real answer is to do it after we.
We really expend all of our energy.
I agree, but do you realize that you just said not, like, Orange County, you said the O.C, as in, like, the show that we grew up with?
Yeah.
Sure did.
Driving in the sun, having lots of fun, looking up for number one, California.
That was the song.
Yeah, I know.
Driving in the sun, having lots of fun, looking out for number one.
Somebody was paid to write that.
Nothing wrong with that.
It's a hell of a tune.
It's a hell of a show.
Wow.
I might go back and watch that again.
You know what's been in my head, actually, all week is more on like the Drake and Kendrick beef.
But Drake yelled out to Metro Boomin that he needs to shut up and do some drums.
So Metro Boomin released the first ever disbeat.
It's just a disc beat?
Yeah.
I haven't listened to that one.
It's a beat and then it has some vocals over it.
And it goes, BBL Drizzy.
Oh, I did.
Yeah.
Oh, it's fucking incredible.
It's been in my head all week.
Yeah, well, Metro Booman lost, I think, the worst in this whole thing.
I think he's fine.
His hashtag's not great.
What's his hashtag?
Metro Groomin.
Oh.
You haven't seen this?
Oh.
Do some digging.
Oh, God.
He's not coming out of this one, well.
He should have probably kept his mouth shut.
Yeah.
Yeah, go ahead and...
His beats shut.
Yeah, I would go ahead and research that one after this.
I don't think I want to.
You really don't have to?
Nope.
It speaks for itself.
Yeah.
But he's definitely not a winner here.
Okay. Well, this is an episode about the Valley.
Yeah, not about the Drake and Kendrick beef.
Although that's over, Kendrick killed him.
No, I can't even say that anymore because somebody got shot on Drake's spot.
Yeah, I know.
You've got to be careful what you're saying.
Kendrick won, in my opinion.
Yeah.
That's my opinion.
And then Quest Love came out and said hip-hop's dead.
This wasn't a real beef.
It got very convoluted.
There was a lot of songs released, especially over last weekend.
I don't know who won, but it was a fun ride.
I think we all won.
But let's get to the Valley and we start out and Brittany's FaceTime with her mom and they're going over date night and the kid drama, the kid number two coming into the scene and what kind of stress that's putting on the relationship because of the bar opening and Britney's mom lets it be known.
I've never been in support of this.
And then you get a cutscene of Jacks told her about how detrimental the bar was to Katie and Schwartz, how detrimental it was to Ariana and Tom.
why would you do that to her mom and then go and open a bar?
Yeah, I just don't understand that.
If anything, you take the position of, well, I watched this happen.
I know what they did.
And I'm going to do the opposite.
Yes.
If you're still planning on opening the bar.
That's what you're telling us, the audience.
You told us that.
It's not, you're not doing it in.
And then you interviewed a girl and looked at her boobs the whole time.
But yeah, you know.
Yeah.
And then you tell Kate your mermaid lady.
Yeah.
So, yeah, we're not buying what you're selling, pal.
but to sum it up, what we're seeing is Brittany's getting fed up
and to call back to something you talked about last week,
we were both under the impression that the Airbnb and the separation
was to drum up shit for the show.
The more we're watching and we're also seeing Britney go on podcasts
and start to tell her side of things and taking a pretty firm stance
and Jacks is off doing God knows what with his publicist,
I think this is real.
Yeah.
I think this is real.
I said last week that the more interest that the viewer has
in this show, the less I feel like
it's necessary to do this outside work
and make it look like things have fallen apart
because we have a real marriage
that fell apart. So maybe that's
enough for us. You guys can get back together
and put it all to rest. No,
they're not doing that. Honestly,
it's just like all the podcasts that
Britney's on and the more information that comes out
and watching Jacks do things, it's just
solidifying that this is real.
It is real and it
turns out Jacks is still a piece
of shit. Who to thunk? But you get
Danny and Nia and Janet calls him to invite them to an outdoor habachi.
Have you seen these parties that people keep having?
I have.
Do we need to have one?
I'm on the fence about it, honestly.
Maybe.
They look kind of fun.
Yeah, they do look kind of fun, but...
Like, I don't know how fun.
It's fun of the sense that you're not going to a Hobachi restaurant and then having...
You smell like habaqi.
You smell like it, yeah, because you're outside.
That's actually a really good call.
I was more so focused on, like, the randos that are also at the table.
then you got like some kids over there
that start crying because it gets too hot
because the flame and onion.
There's some of the flame and onion.
Now it out back, the flame an onion.
But I don't know.
There's something about that aspect of habauch restaurants
that I like because you see some wacky shit something.
You definitely do see some wacky shit.
I saw a guy smack his kid in the back of the head
because he caught the shrimp.
He caught the shrimp and the guy going to whack
and hit him in the other, whoa.
Maybe he didn't want him to choke on it?
How young was the kid?
I think nine.
It's not funny.
It's fucked up.
It was just like you see some wild shit.
So I kind of like that ass like that.
It was my shrimp.
Should we invite randoms to our Habachi yard party?
Absolutely not.
Oh, you're not that fun.
I don't want randoms there.
You're not invited to my, you know what?
You're Kristen Luke.
I'm a random.
You're Kristen Luke.
You're not invited to my habachi party.
I don't even know where we're filming it.
For the show.
And then you're not inviting me?
Yeah, that seems.
par for the course for this show.
That's my biggest issue.
Kristen and Luke don't get invited to the habachi party.
It's a fucking TV show.
I know.
I know.
That bugs me too.
And they get to Janet and Jason, they're talking about the habachi plans and how they're not going to invite her.
Because she's done with Crazy Kristen, according to her.
But we get it later.
And Zach tells us, I'm just going to bring it up now.
Janet moves very similar to Doty.
the only difference is Janet doesn't blow it up.
Yeah, she doesn't blow it up.
And I just have a huge problem with this.
Like, I get it.
If this was at Michelle and Jessie's, as if they're in any fucking shape to host a party, their marriage is dead.
So Janet and Jason are hosting this party.
Janet's making it about her.
Yes.
And I didn't even catch it last week or two weeks ago when we're at Jack's party.
And Michelle goes, I'm done with her.
I don't want to deal with Kristen anymore.
She's insane.
She's calling out my marriage.
That makes sense to me.
Even though Michelle's doing the things that she's doing,
it still at least makes sense that you don't want to be around, Kristen.
For Janet to yell from across the room, yeah, yeah, I'm done with her too.
You know what I thought about right away?
You know that Vine from years ago where the guy's like, oh, yeah, no, I'm not going to massage your feet.
And then a guy from across the yard yells, yeah, I'm not going to massage them either.
Like, you weren't asked, Janet, especially when you're begging people for this gossip.
Yeah, she wants to literally going around and asking everybody and then trying to pull it out of them.
you don't now get to sit here.
It doesn't make any sense for you to sit there and say,
I don't want Kristen there.
Why wouldn't you want Kristen there?
She's going to get upset and yell some shit that you want to know.
You've been asking everybody and when you find it out, you tell everybody.
Yeah.
You're not even that sneaky about it.
Again, the only difference that I'm really seeing is that Doty gets messy and gets agitated
and will just say it to everybody.
Yeah.
Whereas Janet holds it close and has one-on-ones with people.
And she's pregnant so people aren't going to call her out.
That's what Zach said.
They don't want to do that.
I know.
It's an interesting, interesting wrinkle.
But we get a scene with Kristen and Jasmine, and this is a very interesting scene
because this lets us in on something that's all not that surprising, honestly.
And I'm actually a little bit bummed out with myself.
Well, I didn't think about this before because this is a very Jacks-Taylor move.
We find out that Jacks is the one that told Kristen about Michelle stepping
out on Jesse.
Yeah.
It was not the other way around.
We were not privy to that, and it really genuinely bugged me.
I was like, fuck, why didn't I know that?
Like, I should have caught that.
Yeah, the signs were definitely there between him sitting in the pool and making that
face, and then last week he said, I just kind of want to yell out that I know stuff
just so I can get myself involved because this is a weird situation.
I think we took him for face value.
We're like, oh, Jacks is just telling the truth about how much of a scumbag he is.
He's actually throwing out a fucking smoke grenade.
so that we don't see what he's actually doing.
I'm pissed.
He doesn't usually...
He's gotten better.
Yeah, I know, man.
I was like, damn it, he got me.
But you get a cut scene of him saying,
are we filming this?
It's like, dude, you're wearing a microphone.
They're standing there with...
We're not filming right now, are we?
What do you think the camera is?
What do you think that is?
You've been doing this long enough, my man?
Like, that's a fucking...
Yeah, of course you're filming this.
And you're also on a reality TV show.
You're sitting there with Doty, who's a vegan in a meathouse.
A meathouse.
Meathouse.
A good old-fashioned meathouse.
Come on down to the meathouse, right off of Route 8.
Welcome to the meat house, boys.
The steakhouse.
Holy shit, a meat house.
He goes on some spiel about how Brittany told me, this is going to ruin a marriage.
Jasmine's response was interesting.
And I guess I get it because Doty does have a history of doing similar things.
So she's like, you know, I want to believe you, but I'm still a little bit wary of the whole thing.
And again, like, she has a history.
So, okay, fine.
but at the same time
Doty's got text proof.
Yeah.
Like she has actual proof
that she's not the one
in the stir the pot.
And that made me realize,
okay,
I don't think that the group as a whole
is even that upset
about her throwing that bomb out there.
I think what they're upset about
is the fact that every time she's there,
things seem to escalate
and ruins the night.
Yeah.
That's the vibe I'm getting it.
Which is totally fine.
And I kind of get that,
even from the show standpoint,
because we talk about it all the time
where we don't,
want things to escalate that much every single party because then it takes away from the times
that it's actually important. And that is kind of the course that Doty was on for the first six
episodes. What is this episode eight or nine? For the first like six episodes, she was always getting
to that point. And yes, the things that she was saying helped the show and drummed up a lot of
interest. And it's early in the season. It's early in the series. I get that. But to be filming with
that all the time, that's what we have to think about. And yeah, we don't want to do that every single
time we want to have a couple of nice moments yeah i agree but you find out that doughty went directly
to brittany because brittany is the one that had the information and she just says i don't know i guess
she was talking to or hanging out with an actor or director or something tarentino's back in the
picture or michael bay i don't know what would be funnier at this point honestly
michael bay probably just because we can do the funnier but now i think it's my
tarentino would i think objectively be funnier but for us michael bay would be a lot
funnier because then we can do transformer noises yeah i agree i should have loaded one up on the
soundboard but i still don't know how no it's better than we do it beum brum brumbrum brum
see that was fun yeah i feel good but uh it was really funny when jasmine goes you know
it's just on both sides of the table you have jacks he's like you got to believe me you got
believe me i'm a dad and also you have dote he was like i'm an empath i just want to heal people and
peace and this and that i was like you got their number pretty good so i get their
skeptical of both parties and she calls out I couldn't believe she did this she's like you don't see
how you two are like pretty similar though he's like not at all she's like really like name a little bit
yeah it's like you're totally right like you've got them both begged pretty well but we get to the
habachi party and we find out that jesse removed dote from the group chat which is kind of funny like
because it pop you know it pops up yeah it pops up or on dody's end she just can no longer text
it you can't type it's so i thought it was kind of fun
And then you find out that Jacks pulled the classic Jacks.
He just blocks people.
And we found out when we interviewed Doty, like he blocked and unblocked her, I think more than seven times throughout this season is what she told us.
I think that was there was some crazy number, which is funny.
But quick note, Zach took his helmet off and put a hat on.
Not only that, he put the Fred Durst hat on.
He did have the Fred Durst.
That's a good call.
Well, he needs his little soul patch.
down there and then we're cooking. Oh, man.
Nope, not going to sing it.
I'm not going to sing. I didn't know for their nook. Oh, nooky. Okay, yeah.
Yeah, or rolling. Either orgics, but we have a debate about the word butt hurt.
I thought that was common knowledge. I think it's an East Coast thing. Oh, is it? I'm pretty sure
it's an East Coast thing, yeah. Really? Uh-huh. That's interesting. Can we say it all the time?
Yeah, I think I said it today. Yeah. Can we have our West Coasters weigh in, please? Yeah, we need a
west coast correspondent do you say butt hurt and you have to be from the west coast you can't have
moved there yeah i need like an actual no transplants yeah no we need full residency for your whole life
do you say butt hurt or have you heard the term but hurt let us know this part this is where i feel
bad for brittany and you know we say this a lot like people love to use the trope of she knew
what she was getting into with him and i don't think that's fair to throw people because if you
fall in love with somebody falling love with them that being said i do think that she got with jacks
originally to get onto Vanderpump rules they have since had a kid i think that it's fair to
stop throwing that at her yeah like you should have known better it's like she has a child with them
yeah it's not like and they were also weren't on van der pump rules forever it's not like
they were still on vpr and having a kid and then they continued to do all of that and they're still
on reality together four years yeah so within those four years if she knew what she was getting
into you would think that she could have figured it out i think that she's still in love with them
right so i just that one that part bugs me yeah and people like to use that
on all of these shows when someone's dating somebody
that they don't like, but
this part sucked because she starts feeling sick
instead of sympathy, first of all,
leave with her.
Well, it's, all right, I'm okay,
and I was, I was prepping myself to say
that I was okay with him not leaving
just because of the TV show.
Where it's like, okay, you stay,
we're filming, this is a night,
everybody's here, this is a scene,
we're going to go through and play games,
you know how fucking games get on, Bravo.
So you have to stay
and you have to show up for both of us.
I got that point.
But then he doesn't even fucking sit with her.
He doesn't even check on her.
He goes, did you call an Uber?
All right, walks out and goes, it's the fucking alcohol.
What did I tell you?
Drinking, I told you so.
Told you so.
See you later.
I'm going to go back to the party while you wait for your Uber.
Or shut.
And first off, any fucking husband, PSA to husband's out there.
One, go home with your wife.
Yes.
Two, if you're for whatever reason, you're forced to stay because you're filming a TV show,
at least sit with her for a while.
and you call the fucking Uber.
And walk her to the Uber.
Walk her to the Uber.
Give her a kiss.
Tell her you'll be home as soon as you can.
And then you go back to the party.
Counterpoint, even if you're on a reality TV show,
and you know that your marriage is on the rocks
and you guys haven't had the best season thus far,
as far as a couple goes,
go home with her on the show.
Because that would speak volumes to the audience.
Oh, wow, he actually went home with her.
I can't believe it.
It goes to say for all the people that are online
talking about how Jack's entire plan
was to get through this show.
so that it would break up his marriage.
He's acting like it.
It's pointing towards that.
He's starting to act like it already.
Yeah, it's really pointing towards that.
But we get to game night and they play a bunch of silly games.
Nothing really happens here other than you see more and more cracks between Jesse and Michelle.
Like, they are just, they're just dragging each other back and forth in front of everybody else.
And then she literally gets to drag him by a leash.
His answer for the threesome in his confessional was creepy as fuck.
It's fucking gross.
That was, I was appalled.
I was like, are you kidding?
She's going to see this, dude.
So is Danny.
And it's funny, too, because the last couple of episodes were like, fuck, like, Michelle's
doing all this.
I'm actually weirdly starting to feel bad for Jesse.
Then he does something like that.
And you're like, no, fuck this guy.
Ake reminder.
And also, like, even more so because Nia's not, she doesn't fuck with those kinds of questions.
Nope.
We saw, like, when Danny got pants at the party, like, she did not like that at all.
When they ask about the threesome question, she doesn't even, like, entertain the idea.
Neither does Danny.
No.
so that's not the person to say
I mean don't say that shit regardless because
for me it's got to be Nia
she just strikes me and the producer knew
exactly what they were doing they asked the question
and you know Jesse's going to answer it in a very
creepy disgusting way why even keep
that in there too like how are the producers
not looking at it like that's fucking gross
let's not put this on TV
I'm Danny watching that I'm like
no absolutely we're not friends anymore
it is really funny to see
the dichotomy of
Jesse and Michelle's marriage
completely falling apart during this game.
And then you see strong couples like Janet and Jason and Nia and Danny answering correctly the entire time.
Danny and Nia are fucking hysterical because the threesome question is like, none, none, Miss USA.
I'm like, that's the correct answer.
As a husband, you did win.
But my wife and my wife.
Yeah, my wife, Miss USA and my wife.
Yes.
Yeah, that's all.
So he wins that one.
They win that one shockingly.
Not actually shocking.
Not actually shocking.
We need to protect them at all costs.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the thing.
I want them on the show because I like them.
I don't want them on the show because I love them.
Yeah.
You feel me?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know what you're doing now, but I need to actually respond to me.
No, I am responding.
Like, they need to be protected.
They're too sweet.
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Oh, hi, buddy.
Who's the best?
You are.
I wish I could spend all day with you instead.
Uh, Dave, you're off mute.
Hey, happens to the best of us.
Enjoy some goldfish cheddar crackers.
Goldfish have short memories.
Be like goldfish.
This is Zach and Doty, and they're talking about
that James May relaunch.
It's a rebrand, and I
do believe that when
Doty launched this originally, I do think
that it was successful. I think that she was
going in the right direction. She even admits
like, you know, we spent money in the wrong places and
COVID happened, blah, blah, blah.
So I get that, but I do think that James
May initially was
relatively successful at least. So
I do like also that Zach is
because we haven't really gotten
this side of Zach yet, like Zach the
friend. We get Zach who
I told you, I got big
props to him. We get Zach like the reactionary.
reaction, Zach, right?
But I did have big props room when he was in the hallway,
getting mixed up in the nonsense with Jesse and all that.
So it's ground.
I like that.
And then here you get to see Zach, the friend.
And he's like, even with all this bullshit going on, like, this is her baby.
I can see past like all the nonsense she's been getting into.
I want to be super supportive and help get this off the ground.
Good friend.
Genuinely good friend.
He's moving up in my list, slowly but surely.
Sooner later, that helmet's going to hit the top of this.
He's got a hat on, too.
He's got a hat sack.
He's Durston.
Not helmet sack.
This is Durst.
looks better with a hat than a helmet yeah yep then you go to the confessional he's
got a helmet but it's okay he's climbing climbing the rankings in my mind but but we start
talking about the guest list for the party and that's where you know dody brings up dinner that
she wasn't invited to that and doty's like confused because she's like I thought jan and i
were totally fine because flashback to the party at the house whatever they were getting along
he's like did you forget about the mondrian she's like well that wasn't about me and her and it's
Like, no, but it was more of the same where it's like you keep blowing up evenings.
So part of me gets that, but at the same time, after you broke it down earlier, it wasn't directed at Janet.
And like, now that we found out that Doty is not the one that spread false rumors, and they're not even false rumors, just spread a rumor, there should be a little bit of grace here, I think, especially because it's a fucking TV show and they should be a show.
Exactly.
That's what pisses me off.
It's like, okay, if you want to be petty and not invite her to your hibachi dinner, fine.
What the hell do I care?
That's one little thing.
You can't do that for a cast trip.
This is a TV show that circles around cast trip.
This is the first cast trip of the series.
The Santa Monica thing was, that was just the girl's trip.
This is the first couple trip.
You can't alienate people on a couple's trip.
Especially not the first season.
No, it's just incredible to me.
And go again with Howard looking at Janet.
where she's going to every single person
looking and begging for rumors.
Like, it just doesn't make any sense.
You're doing all of that behind the scenes.
Yeah, you're not being super messy,
but you're still involved in a lot of this shit.
You can't look at Doty and say,
oh, I don't want her there.
She's going to blow it up.
Yeah, she's conniving and snaky,
and I'm so glad that Zach called it out.
He's like, just because you're moving quieter,
you do all of the same shit,
but you're not getting called out for it by anybody
because you're pregnant.
And she just wants to solidify herself as Queen Bee.
I think so.
She wants to be the center.
of attention, she wants to be the center of the show,
and she wants to be the person that calls the shots.
Interesting.
It just doesn't work that way.
Like, you're not a veteran of reality TV.
If you are Queen Bee, sure.
You still invite Doty.
You still have her there,
and then you can knock her down a bunch of pegs
while she's there.
You know what I, the premise that I like
is the fact that she's going toe to toe with Doty.
Yeah.
Say what you want about Doty.
She's been doing this a long time.
I don't think you're going to win this battle.
I don't think you're going to win this battle.
I don't think you.
have it in you to go to the depths that Doty's willing to go to.
Yeah, and you can almost see that, actually, and I'm jumping a bit, but at the very end,
when they, when Doty finds out, I'm not going to Baby Moon, Zach's the one that breaks
down.
Doty had a little smile on her face, like, hmm, you want to do this?
I don't think you want to.
No, I don't think you want to do this, Janet.
I don't think you're prepped for this.
Nope.
But I'm glad Zach called it out because that's what we've been saying and we've been seeing.
So I'm glad they're cognizant of it as well, but you get Jesse and Michelle talking
about we are getting another ayahuasca drug thing yeah uh not i mean adriano was on ketamine but
we're still getting a spiritual awakening of some sort i'm more of an iron rogers thing this is more
of an aaron rogers move for sure but i'm i'm i want to see it i wish we could see it i think
we're going to i don't know if we're going to why because he wasn't there at doty's thing
because he was already there there's no way they don't have a camera there okay no way
I'll be bummed if we don't get a clip from it.
I really don't think we're going to.
I would actually...
I think he's going to come home and then we're going to have like a five to ten minutes scene of him talking to Michelle about what happens.
She doesn't want to talk to him.
She's so checked out.
She's completely checked out right now.
Because, like, he's trying to walk her through it and like what the point of it is.
And again, he's not blameless.
It is too little too late, but...
Yeah, but the way that he's talking to her, he's like, you know, I'm trying to be...
I'll try anything to be the person that you want me to be.
she's like well you're your own your own worst obstacle which is true and you get in your own way your ego like speaks for itself all these things and he's taking it you know he's not reacting to it he's actually acknowledging he's the one that brought up his ego to begin with so he's at least self-aware enough to know that part of it she's not giving him an inch though because she's like what do you want from this and he's like well hopefully i can come back and like get better or be better for us because i'm doing this for us i do agree
with her, you have to do it for you.
For this to work out, it needs to be for you,
and the relationship will flourish
as a result of you being in a better
place for us. However,
when he says to her,
what do you want? And she's like,
you know, I just want you to change a little. He's like, what?
She's like, yeah, your personality.
Yeah. What makes you
you, like,
do what you're doing, but just
don't be you anymore. And then
we're cool. I just don't know
why at this point, they're not like,
oh, this is done. Yeah, no, this is absolutely.
done it's not like a i wish that you could change your personality it's not a maybe if you do this
it could be a little bit different it's an i want you to change your personality everything about you
doesn't work yeah no so change and then he's like will you have these conversations with me when i get back
i want to talk notice she did not say yes yep what did she say i will support you
that's not nope you're not giving them that's a we have a child together so i hope that you are okay
Yeah.
But I don't need to talk about this.
This is done.
I don't care what you're doing.
I've been banging Clinton Tarantino for seven months.
He's taken me to the premiere of his last movie.
But you go to a confessional.
It just confirms that really because she's like, I think it's bullshit.
How does one night change anything?
Now, I agree.
The too little too late thing, sure.
However, if we're going to measure effort that we're seeing,
and we can't judge an entire marriage based on what we've seen in eight episodes,
but we also have to analyze what we're given.
He is making attempts.
He's clumsy at it because he's an asshole at heart.
You can't change that about him.
That's that root of his personality that you probably doesn't like.
He's a dickhead.
You're not going to change that.
He didn't show up when you needed him.
You can't change that either.
What we're seeing, and it's not a one-off,
we've seen multiple occasions in which he's trying to step up.
So I don't agree that you can throw it in there like,
oh, what, one night and you're changed?
It's like, I think he's done a little bit more than that.
It could be too little too late.
That's fine, but don't frame it as like, this is the first thing he's trying to do.
I think it's interesting that, like, I would give him more shit for this spiritual journey because it's like, no, you're going to do drugs away for a night.
Yeah.
But Coach Scott is the one that recommended this.
Scott recommended it, but also Jesse's not doing himself any favors by saying, I don't really know what this is going to be.
It could be an orgy.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, he's not, look.
What are you doing?
But that's the thing.
what we're reminded of a few times it's like he's not great and we're not saying he is we're just
trying to see when this all is said and done who's going to be the bigger asshole yeah that's
really all it comes down to and pretty much what you said we can't judge an entire marriage based
off of what they're saying about each other and one season of reality TV but at the end of the
day it's just not working so you know they're completely checked out we know that they break
up, we know that they're done.
They're both assholes.
Yep.
It's not really a matter of who's the bigger asshole.
It's just that they're both assholes.
It's just really tough for us to watch.
Yeah.
Because we're watching it and like, yeah, you want us to say, well, Michelle's completely
checked out.
So she's an asshole.
Jesse's trying.
It's like, there's a lot more to it.
It's just tough to watch.
Yeah.
I still want to see who's the bigger asshole at the end of the season.
Yeah, we'll have a poll.
Yeah, we'll have a poll for assholes.
That doesn't sound right.
Absolutely not.
That doesn't sound right at all.
Chocolate starfish.
Hot dog flavor and water.
One, two, three, four,
row, and roll and roll.
Episode two.
That's what happens.
But we get Brittany and Jasmine,
and they're talking about the soft opening of the bar.
And maybe this is because I feel like
we're bar opening vets at this point
after watching the tragedy of not only Schwartz and Sandy's,
but I also remember like the TomTom opening
and those idiots trying to give their 10 cents
to Lisa when they're opening up that.
bar. But I do feel like I'm more knowledgeable than I used to be on the topic. Definitely.
So that being said, she's stressing about the soft opening of the bar, that it's not going
to look ready. I agree with you. And first impressions are a thing. If it is football Sunday,
and that's why we're pushing to do this, because you need to start making some money, that's
where Schwartz and Sandy's really fucked up because they didn't do anything for a year. And they
pumped so much money into that place. I don't disagree with the bar open.
I really don't disagree with the bar opening.
Obviously, we disagree with the fact that Jacks isn't being transparent about the whole thing.
Why he's doing it.
Don't tell your wife one thing and then have a completely different plan because this wasn't just,
oh, you know, the other part owners are talking to me about this and we really think we should open on the NFL Sunday.
He could do that.
He could bring that to Brittany, but we already know that you've decided to do this because you've told us as much.
So that continues to go into the whole realm of Jacks is doing this entire season just because he wants his marriage to break up.
and this is a good way to do it.
He's just doing whatever the fuck that he wants,
and he doesn't actually care about Britney's input.
He only brought her on board
so that he could make it look like
I'm doing better than the Tom's we're doing.
Yes, I agree.
That's all it is.
Yeah, 100%, but they get onto the topic of
Doty bringing up Britney's name
and the whole thing,
and Brittany doesn't deny that she knows.
She says, why am I being brought into this?
Right. Like, I am not out here running my mouth,
And it's like, well, Brittany, yeah, you are, because you told Doty.
That's like telling Jacks.
You did tell Jax.
Jacks told Doty.
Jacks told Doty.
But then Doty went right to Brittany, which is, I think, the funniest aspect of this whole thing.
Jack's text Doty and says, please don't say anything about that.
We need to keep that under wraps.
You already told Doty that Brittany told you.
Yeah.
So what is Doty going to do?
She's going to go right to Brittany.
Now I do agree with you.
Brittany can shut it all down and say, I didn't tell Jacks really much.
of anything. He's just kind of running with this. I don't know anything. Even if you do know,
you just say you don't know anything. And it could end there. Instead, you gave Doty more
information and confirmed it and told her what you know. So you are involved in this. You did
open your mouth. Yeah, but they're using Doty as the scapegoat. And she's an easy scapegoat.
Very easy scapegoat. She doesn't care if she's a scapegoat. But why is, why are we not questioning
Brittany more? You know, why are we not questioning Janet more? I don't know. I'm just
Because we're upset about Brittany's marriage situation with Jacks,
and we're just pegging Jacks to be the huge asshole that he is.
That's true.
And we're not going after Janet because she's pregnant.
Interesting.
We get the self-defense class with Nia and Janet Michelle are not going.
I wish that it was a phone call of Doty's there.
I'm out.
I think that's what Michelle said.
Janet's got anxiety, so she's not going.
Just say why you're not going.
You know, you're not going because of Doty.
And I think it's fucked up, too, because one, again, now this is two events that we've had a split cast because you can't show up.
But she's also making it worse for herself because guess what?
You're on the same TV show.
You're going to eventually have to see Doty.
You can't avoid her forever.
The more that you push it off and the more events that you don't invite her to, the more that that anger that was directed at Michelle is going to fall to you.
You're making this so much worse for yourself.
And maybe that's her plan.
Maybe that's what she kind of wants.
Maybe she wants to be the person.
I don't think she wants the smokes, but maybe, smokes.
Maybe the, like, theoretically, she wants to be the center of what Doty's going after
because it's good for TV and it's good for her image.
Okay.
But I don't think that she's thought any of this through.
All right.
Picking up what you're putting up.
But we get Michelle and Doty drama.
Everyone's talking about it after they're done the self-defense class.
And Tony's like, I'm the peacemaker and everyone has to, like, choke back a lot.
They're like,
and Brittany's like,
well, not recently
and now you've dragged me into it.
And again, in this moment,
I wanted to be like,
well,
for all intents and purposes,
she went to the source
of said rumor that Jacks told her.
I don't think that that was that fucked up.
I mean, yeah,
she told Jasmine that you knew,
but again,
I think what she's doing
is vindicating this,
like herself in,
I'm not the root of this one.
I'm getting blamed for
because Jacks threw me under the bus.
But in reality,
this is his bullshit.
And that Jacks has
even been questioned about it. No, he hasn't been questioned about it at all. And it goes back
to what we talked about a couple of episodes ago during the whole Republican racist thing.
We saw Jacks and Brittany both sit back and weirdly not say anything. But they knew. Yeah.
Is that what their plan is this whole time is to just start like telling other people rumors and then try
to be like, oh, don't, don't bring us into this. We didn't do anything. Maybe. Maybe that's
what they're doing. They're like silently producing. I mean, you get Jackson's confession. He's like,
you know, usually I love this kind of thing. And like, I, I like to sit back.
and let an argument marinate before I dropped the bomb.
No, I think that he's that, after learning that he's the one that told Kristen,
and we got that confessional before where, or sorry, where he's at the dinner and he's like,
oh, I wish I was involved in the confessional, like, I want to be involved.
I think his confessionals are just that.
Yeah.
He's denying it, but confessing.
Correct.
I think he's way more, way more hands-on and all this than I, which, again, makes me mad.
He's learned.
I didn't pick up on it.
He learned a new trick.
Well, I am, my eyes are open.
Okay?
Look, you watched what?
Clear eyes, full heart, can't lose.
You watched like seven seasons of VPR in like two weeks, less than two weeks, probably.
Yeah, I crammed.
So if anybody knows and can look out for the jacks of it all, it's probably you.
It is.
That's why I'm bummed that I wasn't like, oh, he tricked you.
Jackson is scaring the ship.
But we got Jackson, Brittany, and they're talking about the baby moon with Janet and Jason at Big Bear.
and Doty's not going to be invited
and Jax for whatever reason
he's like, well, I got to tell her.
I got to tell her.
And he goes, I love his confessionals
where he's like, this is childish.
We're not in third grade anymore.
I'm like, you're the biggest manchild on all of TV.
I love when he tries to talk about growing up
and growth and all that shit.
It's so ironic.
But they get on to the Doty talk
and Jacks is just sitting there
doing what you do to me at the beginning of episodes
and just staring at his phone.
Staring at his phone.
And he's like literally talking to him,
directly to him.
And he's like, I got business going.
She's like, you're on Instagram.
I saw the grade.
He's like, well, yeah, I was taking a picture of the, I was, I was sending the DJ a picture of, of the picture.
Yeah.
I was checking the specs on the road.
And I've got three other businesses I'm trying to get up and running.
I love that she goes, do you think that I'm not doing the same fucking thing?
By the way, mine are more successful than yours.
Yep.
I'm making more money than you.
So why don't you give me eyes up, pal?
Give me some.
That's crazy to me.
Honestly, after all that they've talked about, all.
they've been through. They're clearly struggling. They're on the rocks. This gives more
integrity. Is that the right word? To your theory, or to the general theory of he wanted
the season to break up his marriage? Plausibility, probably. He's not plausibility. Thank you. He's
not even giving a fuck. He's not trying. He's sitting there on his phone. And then he flips it
onto her that she's not giving him enough grace because he's trying to start three businesses and
whatever. It's like, I don't want to talk about Doty. I don't want to talk about any of this.
What do you mean? You just had a conversation with,
Janet on the phone where you brought up Doty
and said that you're going to insert yourself by
telling Doty. You just don't want to talk to your wife about it,
which is fucked up.
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We get to the James May party itself
and Zach and
Brittany are chit-chatting about the Big Bear
trip and
as Brittany's telling Zach that
Doty's not invited, it dawns on her
oh shit, couples trip.
Zach, you may also
not be invited and now I'm awkward
and I shouldn't have told you this and I don't
know what to do about it.
Zach is genuinely upset.
Yeah.
Like he's pretty torn up about this and he goes to his confession and he's like, why?
Because I helped Doty out with her thing.
And he also roll the tape.
He wasn't sitting there talking shit.
He was actually suggesting to Doty, hey, invite everybody, just clear the air.
Make them say no.
So at least now you have some kind of bridge to gap where you can talk about it and be like,
well, I at least invited you.
You guys didn't show up.
Doty doesn't do that.
But regardless, Zach is like,
why am I now becoming a casualty of this whole thing?
And that, like, further makes no sense.
I really didn't.
Again, I still can try to understand if you're not inviting Doty
because you want to be petty and you want to do all of this.
Zach catching heat, again, he's on the fucking TV show.
Right.
Yeah, invite him.
You have to.
Like, where are the producers?
We just watch VPR where the producers are doing everything.
They're in every scene.
And now what?
We've got producers just standing back and letting somebody like Janet just call the shot?
and do whatever the hell she wants.
That doesn't make any sense to me.
It's crazy.
And poor Zach, like, he's genuinely torn up.
And then he goes to his confession.
He's like, yeah, when they all made this move to the valley,
I created a lot of divisions.
Like, I don't see my friends that much anymore.
They're all coupled off.
They're all having kids.
I'm not.
I'm in this place in my life where I'm single living by myself.
And, like, I want my friends back.
And I think that he probably saw this show
as like an opportunity to reconnect with them.
And now on the first cast trip ever,
you're getting lumped into the same category as Doty,
who's talking all kinds of shit.
at blowing up at dinner when you haven't done anything,
you actually were a casualty in the hallway
because you caught astray from Jesse throwing bows.
He was a casualty there.
He was a casualty when Janet was telling what Jasmine or what Brittany or what
whoever had said about Michelle being a Republican.
Zach got thrown into that too.
So Zach's on your side and he's been on your side the whole time.
So what he went and helped out Kristen during this.
He even said it himself like, yeah, do I agree with what Kristen's doing right now?
No, but I don't want to see your business fail because of this TV.
tv show because we're trying to do all this drama shit yeah yeah so i i that sent him up even more
notches in my book i'm like team zack now yeah the helmets growing on me i'm buying my own in support
of him add boy i'm going to send him to big bear with the profits i'm making helmets good we're
going to send zach to big bear that works for me but uh yeah the best part about this episode
is it wasn't the best and it was still really good yeah i agree with that this show this is a good
show and it might have also gotten
a little bit of a bump because Vanderpump was so
bad but
thank God Vanderpump's going to
long live the valley long live
the valley uh let's get to some questions
here first up from Ryan Stoneman
are we getting a reunion
for the valley we are not getting
a reunion for the valley no
unfortunately they
for whatever reason decided not to do it
not sure why maybe Michelle
and Jesse can't be around each other
maybe jacks no Jackson Burton at the White House
correspondence dinner together yeah i don't know there seems to be because like the responses that
people are giving like doughty was very firm like there's 100% not a reunion it's starting to lead to
what the fuck happened for there not be one people are like enough people are watching to you
i know there's a lot of people watching especially with it being right next to vpr because people
are leaving it on because they are tired of vpr i think that aren't they doing better than vpr not the
finale i don't know if they're doing better but they're pretty close for a first year show they're
doing exceptionally well.
Agreed.
From bro,
Bro, Ebke,
let's go with that.
Would you watch
if La La or Sheena were brought on?
I don't think I would.
I would still watch it.
We would have to.
If I'm a watcher and I enjoy this season,
I would still watch it,
but I'd probably be really upset.
And if it got to the point
where La La La and Sheena started taking over,
I would stop watching.
There would be a three episode buffer for me,
where I would watch the first three.
And if I saw it going a certain direction,
I'd probably give it a fourth and then make my final decision.
Yeah, agreed.
From Lex B.D, we need more about Jasmine.
She seems to be, she seems to just be around for awkward setups.
I agree with that.
I like Jasmine.
I like Jasmine.
She's level-headed.
And she also, she gained a lot of points for me when she called out Doty.
I was like, you don't think that you're pretty similar to Jacks?
I was like, ooh, she's good.
We do need more of her.
I agree with that.
Yeah, I agree with that too.
And also, everybody must like her because she was on multiple people's threesome list.
Oh, yeah.
It's good for you.
Jasmine and Jasmine.
good for you um from abe lemore 24 do you think anyone will finally call out jacks for being the potster
behind the scenes ask it again do you think anybody will finally call out jacks for being the potsterer
behind the scenes so here's my theory uh the more that we're getting into this season and the more
the people are moving certain ways i think that they're all recognizing the seniority of
Doty and Jacks to some
degree. I think that they think
that Doty's an easier target.
Right. So they're laying off of Jacks a little bit.
I think they recognize him as the quote-unquote
number one guy in the show.
I think they're mistaken. I think they don't know
how easily you can rattle Jacks.
So hopefully they go after him because
if you catch him in a lie, he just stutters and shoots
himself from the foot. Doty, I actually
think, handles herself better than Jacks when she
gets pushed up against the wall because she
will throw some other shit out there. That's usually
true that she's been holding in her back
pocket for a long time.
Jacks is more reactive and he might say something dumb and not helping him.
Correct.
Last one here from Claire Archibald.
Do you think Janet is trying to be the new Stasi?
If she's trying to do that, she's...
That's a good call.
Yeah, not doing a great job at it, but...
No, but I...
Oh, that's an interesting premise.
I don't know if you can give her Stasi level of credit here because...
No.
Especially OG Stasi was like in a league of her own.
um do i think that she might have taken some plays out of her playbook yeah yeah i could definitely
see that but uh i i think that we're a far cry away from giving her that much credit because
like o g stasi be trying to be yeah stasi in the first two to three seasons of vpr is like
reality hall of fame so i don't think you can give janet that much credit yet we'll see we'll see
how this show goes but uh i'm just glad vander pumps over and we can focus on this show i know
we got the reunions coming up but like even that
know, I would imagine that episode one or two, one of them's going to be good for Vanderpump's
reunion.
So we have one.
Probably two.
The first one, everybody's just going to yell at each other.
Yeah.
Like, one of those is going to hit.
So I'm not that bummed out about that part.
I'm bummed out about the third part, no matter what.
Yeah.
I'm excited that we can focus on that.
We got Jersey back, which is going to be a trodge through.
Trudge through.
Trudge through.
Trudge through.
But at the same time, we haven't full hate watch to show in a while, so that could be fun.
We usually get some good commentary
to that.
Yep.
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