Bros & Shows - Hey Guys, Janet's in Therapy! (The Valley Full Recap)

Episode Date: April 10, 2026

What's up bros? We're back in The Valley with the most consistent show on Bravo (not complimentary or derogatory) to really focus on all of the existing, potential and crumbling relationships. While w...e're still keeping an eye on LaLa's involvement; Danny has really fallen off a cliff to the point where we just do not want to watch him anymore. He's gone from quirky to boring to a little annoying to get him off my screen ASAP but let's focus on the budding romance (?) between Michelle and Schwartz because that's really scratching an itch right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 I said it last week, and I'll say it again. This show is just consistent. It is consistent for better or worse. It is consistent. And that I very much appreciate about it. It's gotten to the point. Maybe I was wrong in thinking it's like on a downfall. I think you're right.
Starting point is 00:00:19 I think it's just it's the same every week. You can expect the same amount. Like you said, for better or worse, you're not going to have anything that's going to resemble a huge blowup that's crazy. entertaining and you're also not going to have anything that's just downright boring it's just you know it's it's there and it might it doesn't have potential i don't know that's uh that's the question that's the question on my mind as there's a drive in a deep left field by castellanos it will be oh man it's eight o'clock and so that'll make it a
Starting point is 00:00:49 i don't need the spotlight i shine just fine hi i'm karma and yes i am a bitch bra bros Good evening, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of Brof Bros, your favorite podcast from the pros for everybody. For whoever wants to listen, I'm a co-host, Steele Russell, joined as always by Santa Glute Rita. Glute Rita. Nice, glutes. Yeah, I'm seeing glutes. Nice, dude. Yeah, you'll be show some ass on stream. I'll do it. Hell yeah, brother. For the right price. Um, yeah, I mean, we're, we're back in the valley. I don't. I don't. know how to feel about it, but we're back in the valley. Well, we actually do start the episode in Santa Clarita. And it looks like that house is beautiful.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Nothing against the house, but this episode kind of confirmed the way I was feeling about Danny. I'm kind of over Danny. I like Nia. I think Nia is actually, and we ended last season saying maybe Danny and Nita don't need to be on this show. Maybe they just move to Santa Clarita and just move on with their lives. I actually think this show needs Nia way more than it needs Danny. I don't really even care about Danny.
Starting point is 00:02:04 He just kind of annoys me. I agree. I think overall it was a solid second episode. You know, it sets the table for a lot of the drama or lack thereof, we might see this season. I agree with the Danny sentiment. I thought I had this guy figured out.
Starting point is 00:02:20 I don't think so. I think it's going the other way, unfortunately for him. But yeah, Nea, great. You know, she's, again, consistent. Danny is,
Starting point is 00:02:31 he's losing me as well. So it's interesting you said that. Everybody else I'm good with. What scares me about this episode? Okay, because the show is good and I wanted to continue to be good. What scared me about this one was Lala a little bit because it felt ever so slightly like Lala of old at times. And I think that that's where I see this show taking a weird turn. And I don't want that to happen because I actually, I like everybody else.
Starting point is 00:02:59 I like the Tom Schwartz and Michelle storyline. I think that's funny. I like the Dodie and Luke shit. Luke means to clean it up a lot. But I like that. I just, I'm worried about Lala. I'm worried about Brittany.
Starting point is 00:03:16 And I'm worried about Danny. Yeah. I mean, I've been worried about Brittany. I was worried about Lala and Schwartz coming back. This episode felt a little to Schwartz and Lala centric. There's a lot of them. I guess we have to do it eventually.
Starting point is 00:03:32 As long as it doesn't continue to be Schwartz and Lala-centric, I'll be okay. The shorts and Michelle scenes are just funny. They're awkward as hell. They make no sense to me, but it's kind of entertaining and kind of funny. That might lose its lust or two. Brittany, I don't know. This is, Brittany's starting on the path that I was afraid of. That's kind of where we are with her.
Starting point is 00:03:55 I didn't want that. And it's, she's enough of a force to ruin a whole shit. show if they keep doing what they're doing. She needs to be on the outskirts right now. And I don't know. We'll work our way through this episode, but it's going to highlight a lot of the things that I'm worried about about this show.
Starting point is 00:04:12 And it's not highlighting enough of what I'm actually excited about for this show, if that makes any sense. But yeah, but yeah, I mean, second episode, don't judge us. If we get a little loopy, you know how these things go. I think we should just rip off the Band-aid, hop back into this bad boy. Let's go for it.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Well, the first meaningful scene that we start out, with his Luke and Doty. And they're talking about Michelle and Schwartz. I think everybody's talking about those two. I mean, it makes sense to me. They are the talk of the town. And it makes a lot of sense, honestly. And the fact that Jesse is probably ironically and condescendingly co-signing it.
Starting point is 00:04:46 I don't care. I mean, that's enough for me, though, where it's not going to cause a stupid issue for no reason. It's such a non-factor if those two get together that, like, I wanted to happen. Again, I think that Schwartz is so whatever that if they do hook up, and then they don't do anything. It won't even be awkward. It's just going to be like back to normal.
Starting point is 00:05:04 So I'm cool with that storyline. But with the Luke and Tody shit, you know, episode two, and we're talking about sex again. And I, it's just, dude, even if you don't feel that way, like, fake it. Don't go on TV and do these shenanigans because it's not going to come out. Well, I understand what you're saying. You're trying to frame it as, you know, our intimacy. And, you know, it's about you and me.
Starting point is 00:05:38 You just want to get laid, bro. And, like, she is not ready yet. And you lay out this whole scene because what ends up happening is now you're going to make her feel guilty for not being ready. And that's not fair. Like, she just pushed a human out of her vagina. And you're like, I love your body. Great.
Starting point is 00:05:57 Thanks. I'm not ready to have sex with you yet. But what about our intimacy? And I want to get back the fact, here's my thing. We know, because they talked about it too much, that they point a lot. Okay, they were boinking left and right. You could argue that they were boinking that much to get pregnant, just saying, but whatever, he wants to get back to that.
Starting point is 00:06:19 Yeah. There's no world in which you're going to have sex as much as you had sex before you have a kid. It's simply not going to happen. It seems like common sense. And that's like the big issue. I mean, the big issue is more you're going to make Kristen feel worse than she already feels. And you shouldn't be doing that with a woman who just gave birth. So that's, you know, where you should probably start.
Starting point is 00:06:41 And my big gripe with the whole thing is Luke is clearly not educated on any of this shit. It doesn't understand what he's saying or what he's doing, how he's making Kristen feel. And we spent the whole first episode with him talking to other people, including us, about how he feels about this. And we don't care. Like, look, as dudes, nobody gives a fight. how you feel after somebody has a kid. Nobody cares. Like, yeah, are you losing sleep?
Starting point is 00:07:04 All right, cool. Which dad isn't. Are you actually carrying some of the load when it comes to the baby? If you are, great. If you aren't, fuck you, whatever. We've kind of moved past all of that. And we've gotten back into this realm that we found ourselves on this show. And unfortunately, we saw conversations and the people that he's talking to in this group
Starting point is 00:07:22 are not going to be helpful. We watched the conversation with Jesse last week, which was not helpful. And I'm sure, and even though we didn't really say, see a scene between him and Danny talking about it. We watched Danny do it with Nia. He is not going to be... It's worse than Luke. It's worse than Luke. So Danny's still
Starting point is 00:07:37 worse than Luke, especially with the conversation that they have at the end of this episode. So he's not getting any good advice. Nobody's telling him, hey, man, no, don't do that. We should be doing other things. You should be supporting your girlfriend's fiance. You should be supporting your fiancee in this. And as she gets through all of this,
Starting point is 00:07:55 and maybe when she's ready, you guys can start having sex again, but you have to be patient and not tell her. Like, this is one of those times, and you know, we're all about this in 2026 talking about your feelings. This is one of those times where you just shut the fuck up. You just swallow your pride, swallow whatever issue you have going on and move on with your life and hope and pray that things will start getting back to normal in like two months, dude. Like JJO, buddy, JJ.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Yeah, literally. Like, we even have that scene with Danny talking about getting a vasectomy. me and he's talking about like cr-he's not even talking about cranking it he's talking about having sex again it's like no dude like that should not be what you should be talking about about your horny about your fiance they are way too fucking horny they need to figure it the hell out you know either way together all of them get together do a circle jerk with a sound bad dude a circle jerk relax right like literally just sit and like no one's going to judge it i mean you're in you're in LA. Nobody cares. I'm sure that shit happens anyway. You can probably find it's probably on like
Starting point is 00:08:59 Instagram and TikTok. There's probably a bath house where they promote having a circle jerk, especially after. And it's for guys who are not getting any because their wife just gave birth. And it's probably a health clinic. And there's probably a sound bath behind you too. And all those things are going to help you feel a lot better. If you live in LA, you live in any other city, it's fucking weird as hell. But in LA, do it. All the influencers are doing it. Go for it. But yeah, this, I'm honestly, I'm just kind of like beating around the bush because this whole conversation just made me feel icky and uncomfortable. And I didn't want to see it. I do not want to see that shit.
Starting point is 00:09:33 I'd rather see an uplifting conversation. Like make Kristen feel good. She just pushed a baby out. Make her feel good about herself. Make her feel good about how things are going to be in a couple of months. Whatever. That's the way you should be handling it. Not what we just watched.
Starting point is 00:09:46 No. And he seems to think that it's all about the physical attributes. Or he's like, I love your body. You look great. It's like, that's nice. Thanks. There's so much more going on. And if you want to really support her right now, hey, you're doing so good as a mom.
Starting point is 00:10:05 I'm so proud. I love watching you be a mom, like stuff like that. Like if you lift her up like that, she might want to have sex with you sooner. I don't know. But keep the defaults to, I love your body. It's like that's not the point, Luke, fucking wake up, you dickhead. Go jerk off with Danny somewhere. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:10:24 Those are the idiot dudes. Yeah. Those are the idiot dudes that have been trained or have, like, trained themselves to just always tell their girlfriend, fiance, wife, that they look good no matter what. And they, and it seems to work out so far. And they didn't realize that after giving birth, that you should be trying to, like, uplift them in different ways, not this way. Anyway, let's move on. We get to Brittany and Zach. And, you know, this is, again, highlighting some of the stuff.
Starting point is 00:10:53 for like, oh, it's maybe not focus on this all season and scenes from this season show that Brandon is going to be a part of the show. And first looks, not great, by the way. Yeah, unfortunately right away. Yeah. Yeah, like the first scene we see him in at the end of this episode, I'm like, oh, God, that's who you. We didn't know this shit.
Starting point is 00:11:11 And like the way that this conversation goes, like, Brittany's takeaway is that Zach is attacking her and doing it. Like, no, we're all watching. We've watched it for long enough. And just the context of the conversation, of course, is talking about if she's moving too fast. And we get into it pretty much right away. Like, hey, how you feel and what's going on?
Starting point is 00:11:31 You're moving too fucking fast with this guy. I love that. And this is my takeaway with Zach is, look, I'd rather have a friend like Zach who's going to tell you how it is, who's going to tell you what you need to know. He's going to hit you with a hard truth right away. And all I got from Brittany and all of this is, no, like you have to let me live.
Starting point is 00:11:50 And she even says, you know, I just, she contradicts herself right away, right? She's like, yeah, well, I've been single for two years. I'm ready to move on and I'm ready to figure things out. And then she says, whoa, let me live. I've only been single for a little bit. And I just got out of a very abusive relationship. Like, no, that's, you don't get it both ways. He can't figure that out.
Starting point is 00:12:08 And we don't know shit about Brandon, by the way. We have no idea of who this guy is. We haven't done our due diligence, mostly because I truly don't care what Britney's up to in her personal life. But come to find out, he's got three kids. with two baby mamas. And apparently both of those relationships are incredibly strained. And all indications point to, it's probably his fault. And I'm basing that off of Brittany talking about this guy, Zach talking about this guy,
Starting point is 00:12:34 and the scene that we get from next week. A three second clip. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like you are moving too fast because he gets defensive right away as soon as Zach brings it up. Yeah. And again, like you said, this is who you want.
Starting point is 00:12:46 You want this guy. You want the guy that's going to be like, hey, slow the fuck down. down. Let's look at the red flags. Are you not seeing some similarities between Jacks here? And for her to take the stance of, let me live my life, do you know who you picked the first time? You shouldn't be allowed to pick the second time.
Starting point is 00:13:04 You should have, like, your friends should absolutely have to vet everybody that you're interested in because of what happened with Jack's Taylor. And all Zach is trying to do right here, and I know why he's taking this angle, because I'm sure he's had calm conversations. I'm sure he's tried to talk to her and level with her.
Starting point is 00:13:20 and it's gone over her head. So at this point, he's like, I'm not going to watch you do this again because I care about you. And despite her being a terrible friend to him, he always shows up for her. Zach's a real one. And like, we've talked to Zach alike.
Starting point is 00:13:34 He's a great dude. So if he's talking, fucking listen to him. All he's trying to say, he's not even saying break up with the guy. He's saying pump the brakes, slow it down. Can we talk about some of the things
Starting point is 00:13:47 that I'm seeing? Because it's worrying me. because there are a lot of things here that are very similar to the relationship that you just got out of. And as he's talking more, again, we don't know Brandon. For all intents and purposes, we don't care about Brandon at all. But he's part of the show, so we have to talk about him. If Zach is labeling this guy as a problem, I believe he's a problem. And if he's telling you this, again, he's doing it from a place of, I'm not saying break up.
Starting point is 00:14:18 I'm saying slow down. And her response, and this is probably why she didn't take on the girlfriend title is so she could combat these conversations and say, whoa, he wants to be boyfriend girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:14:31 And I said no. Yeah. But again, that's what we're getting into this stupid label thing that I think is all horseshit where it's like, you just went to Cabo
Starting point is 00:14:38 with the guy for five days, right? You guys are talking every day, your FaceTime, this, that, the other. The labels are irrelevant with how much you have
Starting point is 00:14:46 pulled yourself into this relationship already. And that's what Zach's worried about. And that's what makes us at home worried because we don't want to fucking watch that, dude. I don't want to watch that at all. I don't need a Jack's 2.0 in the form of Brandon yelling at the cast members that we just met. That's fucking crazy work. And he's been on the screen literally in a scene from next week that was three seconds long and he's a douche bank.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Yeah. I just don't understand. And to watch Britney spin it either in the confessional or when she does it later, when she's talking to her friends who don't actually keep her accountable, I don't care for it. I just simply don't care for it. This is what you get with somebody like Brittany. Like, yeah, unfortunately, it was captivating to watch her and Jacks in the first season. It was captivating to watch her get out of that relationship last year. But then you have to face the facts.
Starting point is 00:15:35 Now we've got Brittany, who has been a problem in a lot of different instances. Jacks was a way bigger problem, but he's gone. Now we have Brittany, who is a problem in her own right, in friendships, in dating. And we have to watch all. I just don't care. I simply do not give a shit. There's one route that it goes where I'm fine. And that's if it's the comeuppance for her.
Starting point is 00:15:57 If this is a- There's growth, like she sees Brandon do that and immediately cuts them off? No, not that. That's not going to happen. I'm saying if we finally have, because we got a glimpse of it last season, there was no follow-through. if we have Doty, if we have Zach,
Starting point is 00:16:13 if we have multiple people stand up and say, I'm fucking done. I've tried. You don't reciprocate this friendship. You leave me out to dry. You put us in bad situations. You don't listen to us.
Starting point is 00:16:23 You're not a real friend. If that's where this goes and it's a check Brittany season, I'm okay with that. That's a different route that I'm like, all right, because it's time.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Simply because from like a real life standpoint, you guys are good friends. Zach, you're a great friend. You don't deserve this shit. Doty. You're a great friend to Brittany. you ride or die for her. Do you have your own issues? Sure. But you are you and you have stood by her through all of this stuff. So I'm done with the non-recipricated friendship. So if we get a season
Starting point is 00:16:51 of we're going to bring that to light and really hammer it home, then I'm fine. That would be a good route for me. Yeah, I agree with that. But let's get to Lala. Oh, Lala. Let's get to Lala. Give them Lala. And boy, did we. And she's setting up for Sosa's birthday. party and it's our first glimpse of Jason and I just wrote boo on my notes. But obviously Janet's a little apprehensive about seeing Doty and seeing a lot of the other people that she hasn't seen yet. We're getting a lot of awkward arrivals. You know, she's kind of huddled over in the corner and people are walking by or everyone's
Starting point is 00:17:29 trying to not make eye contact, all of that good stuff. Well, it is kind of funny that Doty said and verbatim. It's a one-year-old's birthday party. Like, what are we going to do? I'm fully capable of what? way and not doing anything. Which it seems like she is, at least in this party. Here.
Starting point is 00:17:47 But yeah, like, we know and there were kids around. Maybe it wasn't a birthday party. I don't know. Was it Cruz's birthday party? Is that what they were at Britney's? It was a pool party. I don't know if it was a birthday pool party. No, it's a one year old birthday party.
Starting point is 00:18:00 It was not one year old. No. If it was Cruz's birthday party. He was like, what, three or four? I just love the idea that Kristen cuts it off. Like, it's a one year old's birthday party. Yeah. Come on. I'm not going to do anything.
Starting point is 00:18:11 Now, at a four-year-old's birthday party, you better fucking get the fuck out of here. But the big difference and while we're setting up and while Janet's talking about it, first off, Janet's already bullshit. She's already done the line five times now. I started therapy. If you have to say that you started therapy, I don't care what you say. It's not working. I don't want to hear it.
Starting point is 00:18:33 I don't want to hear it. It's not working. That's worse than using the therapy words. Like, we know if somebody drops the line like, oh, yeah, like, if, you're, like, if, it's absolutely organic and we're talking a confessional and a producer puts you in that direction and you say, yeah, I started therapy after last year, you know, it was kind of tough, whatever. And you don't bring it up again, but we see you using the obvious therapy words. We know that you're not learning.
Starting point is 00:18:53 You're actually using therapy for an attack, which is not good. We don't want to see that. Janet's using it and a, hey, hey, guys, lay off me. Yeah, back off. I mean, please, come on, give me a break. Like, just give me another chance. Like, that's what I want to see. but the way Lala goes about it
Starting point is 00:19:09 This is a big difference between the way Brittany goes about it. Lala does say, hey, by the way, there's not going to be a problem, right? I invited Kristen.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Oh, no, no, no, there's not going to be a problem. Kristen says it too. So she had a conversation, whether it was on screen or off screen, she addressed it, which is how you do it.
Starting point is 00:19:26 Lala can do it, which gives me a little bit of hope for Lala. Brittany can't do it. Brittany beat around the bush and said, well, you know, Janet's probably not even going to come. Why would Janet not come? You invited her.
Starting point is 00:19:36 That's stupid to think that. knowing where Kristen and Janet are. So that's just immediately more negative points towards Brittany, a little slight positive points towards Lala, just for acting like a normal human baby. But I completely agree. I mean, she leads it off. And I'm like, oh, no, that's the route she's taking this season.
Starting point is 00:19:52 We saw a glimpse of it last week. And I was like, all right, it's still too early. Maybe we're going to get a different route. No, she's going with the leave me alone route. I've been through enough route. It's like, you don't get to dictate that because of your behavior last season. Because she literally says, I don't want to feel like that anymore. Last summer was tough.
Starting point is 00:20:06 and the group got torn apart. You tore the group apart. That was you and your husband. Nobody else did that. That was you, Janet. Now you're like, everyone's being so mean to me. You were such an asshole last year.
Starting point is 00:20:17 And like, I'm not saying that Danny doesn't deserve a check. I don't know what's going on with that whole situation as far as what he's up to. I'm not going to lose anything. I'm not sure. That aside, you were still a piece of shit to everybody else on the show.
Starting point is 00:20:33 So if we remove the Danny situation, you're still an asshole. and you don't even see that. You think that it's like a mutual playing field in which like, well, they were mean to me too. It's like, no, you started it. You thou hath cast the first stone. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:46 It just pops up every now and then. But like, it's just crazy to me. And like, Nia, I actually believe her when she's like, I don't really notice attention. Like, maybe it's awkward for like, I don't care. She's not on my radar. She does seem very unbothered when Janet's around. And I think that's also she seems to have a lot going on.
Starting point is 00:21:03 So she might be in her own head about stuff. But that's, this is, look, I'm not saying or claiming that knee is in therapy, but she strikes me as somebody who has gone to therapy and has learned how to figure out situations and how to navigate issues. She has an issue with Janet. It seems like something that we're never going to be able to fix. So why am I paying at any attention? I've got things going on in my life that actually need my attention and I need to figure out.
Starting point is 00:21:29 I'm not really worried about how Janet feels about something. I'm not going to be coerced or forced to talk to Janet in a way that is unsuitable for me. That's how Nia is going about it. So I actually do believe her when she says, I'm not going to pay her any minds. I've got enough going on. Yep. I want 100% believable. And regardless, like that is how you handle this situation as an adult, as a grownup.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Now, here's where I get nervous. Okay. It seems like such a one-off, like not, don't get stuck on it. but when Lala goes, I'm going to get the lifeguard's number. Fine, okay? That's fine. But then when she goes,
Starting point is 00:22:09 if it wasn't my daughter's birthday, I would go have a quickie. I'm like, I don't believe you when you say these things. I used to do this on Vanderpump all the fucking time. My point being, it's not that serious. It's not that big of a deal.
Starting point is 00:22:20 I like the Lala in the scenes that we've gotten her up to this point. I think she's done just fine. I think that if that's her route this season, great. She was able to say to Janet, episode one, can you acknowledge that you were part of the problem? So on and so forth. Right.
Starting point is 00:22:34 She's navigating the group. Well, she has seemed to kind of settle in. Great. I'm not saying she's not going to be a problem on the show. I don't know yet. But when she does stuff like this, I'm like, ah, only because it's a call back to the la la, la, old. And that makes me nervous.
Starting point is 00:22:48 No, it's totally fair. I think that's part of what I was expecting from her. Okay. And the fact that she did that didn't really phase me. It's, look, you're going to have. I roll moments when it comes to Lala. I can handle an eye roll moment. That's okay.
Starting point is 00:23:04 You're right. That's kind of where my classification of that type of behavior is. Okay. It's the forcing of narratives, which later when she's forcing, not forcing, but pushing together Janet and you get a talk, that's not even what I'm talking about either. It's the forcing of a narrative. It's, you know, popping off and, you know, trying to be a big tough guy, which is what she's doing in DPR.
Starting point is 00:23:27 Yeah, like all of that shit. I don't care for those things. This is what you're going to get with Lala. And again, I think it's an interesting choice to make her a full-time guest member. I'm still going to say that we're going to have to take it as it goes. I'm not going to get upset when she does stuff like this, though, because this is what we're expecting. I roll a moment. You're right.
Starting point is 00:23:45 I'll try to chalk it up to that when those little ones happen. And like, it has nothing to do with like, I could give a shit if she went and had a quickie with the lifeguard. It's more so she makes these statements. I'm like, I don't think that's who you really are. I'd be surprised. I'd be surprised. shock value. If she had a quickie with the lifeguard, I'd be shocked.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Yes, same. Because she always claims that she wants to do that or she would do that. If she actually followed through on something that she was claiming she was going to do, I'd be so shocked. Oh, God. Remember the honey guy? Yeah, dude. The bees. Oh, fuck. Sticky honey.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Oh, stop it. Yeah, it's really, really sticky. You don't know how to dirty talk, sir. This is weird. Sticky, sweaty. Yeah, sweat. Let's go upstairs. I hated that. God, that gives me the hebe-jeebies.
Starting point is 00:24:29 If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't go digging. You don't want to watch that scene. Was that PPR was that valley? I can't remember. I think it was in the valley. I think it was last year on the valley or two years ago. It might have been season one in the valley. I think it was.
Starting point is 00:24:42 It doesn't matter. Don't look it up, everybody. Seriously. What, the dawn. The dawn. The, the, fuck. Yes. Yeah, that was it.
Starting point is 00:24:52 That is the type of behavior that I'm talking about. If that comes up, I will fast forward. I'm just telling everybody now, including you, if that comes up, I'm skipping. Right. Yeah. It's fair. That's fair. I don't need to hear Honey talk again. Nope.
Starting point is 00:25:08 But Michelle and Schwartz are genuinely hitting it off. Like their chemistry is on deny. Is it awkward? Sure. Is it real? Yeah. It really is because they're just like giggling back and forth. They're smiling.
Starting point is 00:25:18 And Schwartz is going to his confession. Like, yeah, she's kind of a baddie. She's kind of a milf. And then the producer's like, oh, what do you mean? It's like, okay, buddy. It's fucking germ. It had to be. Jermaine fucking dick.
Starting point is 00:25:31 But Doty and Brittany are talking. And this is where you get the line from, from Brittany, where it's like, well, Zach went in on me. It's like, what?
Starting point is 00:25:39 That's the route we're going? He went in on you for trying to be a good friend. Mm, okay. Boo, tomato, tomato. Come on. But the real conversation is Jasmine and Janet.
Starting point is 00:25:52 Again, pointing to what I was talking about earlier. The only issue was not with Danny and Nia. There were issues across the entire group last year, Jasmine being one of them because Janet felt the need to keep inserting herself into a situation involving Jasmine, even though Jasmine and her wife or fiancé had decided to move on from it. Janet could not.
Starting point is 00:26:14 She was like a dog with a bone, would not stop. Janet tries to take the route of, hey, wanted to talk to you. Things haven't been 100%. You mean a lot to me. And I apologize for speaking on stuff. I wasn't involved in. And I was like, I don't believe you,
Starting point is 00:26:29 but fine, fine. If we can get to a cordial place, whatever, that's fine with me. I love that Jasmine's keeping her guard up. She's like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:26:36 you know, it's really not the time or the place. You know, it's just maybe we can have this, it's a much bigger conversation we need to have. And that's what I love about Jasmine.
Starting point is 00:26:44 She's not going to sugarcoat things. She's like, if there's an issue, like we're going to handle this issue, we're not going to do it right now, but we will talk about it. I love you, go by.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Janet doubles down. And she's like, look, just didn't realize at the time, like why I was so mad and I just started therapy. Third therapy reference already. Pouring it on real thick. I was using a lot of words with the intention to hurt last year. So this year, I'm working on communicating without using hurtful language.
Starting point is 00:27:13 Jasmine's response, I had a funeral for you in my head. You were dead to me pretty much, which I love this. And she says it so softly. I'm like, you just really told her that you said it killed her off. Super softly and then really hammered at home by saying, you know, we were so close. We were such good friends. I was thinking about you at my wedding. And then I had to think about you not at my wedding.
Starting point is 00:27:35 And I'm like, wow, that's kind of crazy that I'm going to have a wedding. And Janet's not going to be there. That's where Janet turns. This is what I'm talking about with Janet. She's trying all this bullshit. She's trying all this soft speak, this therapy speak to try to get back into good graces of people, not because she really wants to be friends with them, but, because she wants to be in a better standing for the show.
Starting point is 00:27:56 Now, I had to be quickly reminded because right after this conversation, she goes over and she's talking to Michelle. And I'm like, oh, wait, you're cool with Lala and Michelle. You don't need to be friends with everybody. You could just do this. And this goes back to what we tell Janet all the time. If you're going to be a villain, you're going to have a much more, a much more fun time on this show.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Being an actual villain. Like, there's no reason to try to build these bridges back and try to get back in the good graces of people when you're inevitably going to turn on them eventually. And that's just what you're going to do. Like just lean into being a villain. You'll be more entertaining. But the end of the conversation, this is where you see your turn. Because right when Jasmine says, I have to imagine you not at my wedding anymore.
Starting point is 00:28:37 And that's kind of crazy to me. Well, I look, you know, going back to that comment on the beat. I mean, like, you just made a lot of comments about me that really hurt me. So like, do you ever think about like maybe we could apologize for that? No. Absolutely. the fuck not. Absolutely not. What are we doing here? You're you have way more to make up for than she does. And the fact that you're now pivoting because she said you're not coming to the wedding anymore to I think you owe me an apology is crazy work. Again, if you're going to if you're going to do that, just lean into it. Just keep doing it and keep doing bad things and keep like talking behind people's backs. I just, I just remembered who was at that fucking. party too.
Starting point is 00:29:23 Pink boots, Jared. I know, dude. No, Jared's the friend. I thought the same thing. Pink boots was a different guy, but that was his cronies. I'm pretty sure. I think Jared had the pink boots on.
Starting point is 00:29:34 I'm almost positive. I think it was somebody. I don't think it really matters because they're, they just morph. I assume that they're like two guys that just kind of like morph in and out of each other. But I think Jared was pink boots. I thought Jared was friend of pink boots.
Starting point is 00:29:49 If you remember, correctly and while Steele's looking this up because he needs to know. Yeah, I'll be crazy. If you remember correctly, Jared was the friends that not only was talking shit with Janet and then decided when I believe it was Janet decided to call who was. Oh, when she was calling Zach, she decided to call Zach, put him on speakerphone and Jared was snickering in the backgrounds. Jared was also the one who was at the party when he found out and everybody who wasn't invited to the baby moon found out that they were coming.
Starting point is 00:30:21 Jared was then gauging everybody's reaction and reporting back to Janet. Jared has no place on this show. Why is he even allowed to be there? We should have, again, this goes back to Jeremiah. If the release form goes out, no to Jared. That should be a very simple no. Brings nothing to the show and he's just not a good person. So I was correct.
Starting point is 00:30:40 Simon was pink boots or crook of shit boots as Zach calls him. Jared was his crony. and they were doing the same shenanigans, but the pink boots scene was Simon reporting back. But yes, Jared is 100% in cahoots with them. And yeah, I was so pissed when I was like,
Starting point is 00:30:56 why the fuck is this guy on the show? That is an awful idea, Jermaine. Way to go. You're going to ruin another show. But yeah, watching her pivot to actually, you hurt my feelings.
Starting point is 00:31:09 Let's go back to that scene then, Janet. Let's see how we got there. You were the problem. You set Jasmine off. Jasmine clocked you because it was building up for a long time. And then you and Jason decided to double teamer. Like that's what we watched. So no, even if Jasmine said something that was over the line, given your behavior and also
Starting point is 00:31:33 just given where you stand with the entire group, just concede. Just say sorry, you lunatic. Like that was the funniest moment for me because it immediately, and I didn't believe the therapy shit anyway, it immediately discredits all of that. It immediately shows you she is the same person. She just took a different tactic this year. And in episode two faltered, which is you got to almost respect the delusion in that. But I agree with you.
Starting point is 00:32:02 All the therapy is coming apart at the scenes. Like back to what you said, just be the villain. Just do it. Like we would be so much more on your team. in certain situations if you were just a huge asshole. That's fine. Shows need that too. But you can't play the role of back and forth, back and forth.
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Starting point is 00:34:32 Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the Shadow Dark every Thursday night at 8 p.m. Eastern on YouTube.com slash the Glass Cannon with the podcast version dropping the next day. See what everybody's talking about and join us in the dark. From the parents behind law and order comes a mystery the whole family can enjoy. Patrick Pickle Bottom Everyday Mysteries. Step into the whimsical world of Patrick Picklebottom, a precocious 11-year-old with a love for reading and an uncanny ability to solve mysteries. Inspired by the beloved children's book of the same name, this podcast vividly brings Patrick's tales of deduction and everyday adventures to life,
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Starting point is 00:35:43 Welcome to Roxanne and Chantelle. The podcast where Cousins Roxanne and Chantelle break down reality TV, celebrity drama and the stories everyone's texting about. We recap the shows, spill the headlines, and sit down with the stars themselves. No filter, no boring takes, just the tea. New episodes every week. If it's trending, we're talking about it. This is Roxanne and Chantelle.
Starting point is 00:36:07 Let's get into it. Fuck yourself. It's exhausting. Yeah, agreed. But while they're all over there, I think it's a start. Did Zach not get the invite? Are him and Lala not cool? And then Jesse didn't get.
Starting point is 00:36:19 I know she, I know Lala doesn't like Jesse, but Zach getting omitted from the party, I thought was kind of funny. Yeah, Zach getting omitted was kind of funny. That could just be really anything. I mean,
Starting point is 00:36:30 is it. Oh, wait a minute. Yeah, probably is Jared. Maybe that's the connection. Could be that connection. That would make a ton of sense.
Starting point is 00:36:37 But yeah, the scene that we got with the two of them sitting down, they were kind of bonding over the fact that they weren't invited. So I, I'm assuming, but we didn't get an actual answer. I'm sure we'll be. able to figure it out over the next couple of episodes just to kind of watch the interactions between la la and zack if there are any and we'll be able to see exactly what that is but yeah i mean
Starting point is 00:36:56 i guess it doesn't need to be if jesse's left out we need somebody else left out let them go hang out during this so we can get a side-by-side see what we need up i do also i enjoy their friendship i like their scenes together they're always entertaining i don't think you could pay me to go drink at a bar right to sit in an airplane seat like that's insane That bar looks. I love a gimmicky bar. I really, really do.
Starting point is 00:37:22 I especially love a gimmick drink. That bar looks so stupid. That was the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Hey, you know that feeling it had crammed into a fucking soda can, 30,000 feet in the air? Why don't you pay to come drinking one? No.
Starting point is 00:37:36 What you should do is let's do like a 1950s style aviation bar. Now we're talking. And then you can smoke indoors. Like, do that. Come on. I'm in. I don't smoke. cigarettes, but I'll go crank a heater in one of those.
Starting point is 00:37:50 Fuck yeah. But they're talking about Lacey, and this is going to be a fucking disaster at some point. I already know it. Like, the way that Jesse talks about it is as though he has found the love of his life, his long-lost love of 10 years ago. She was 23.
Starting point is 00:38:06 I was 30. We texted all day, every day. We reconnected after 10 years. And I feel, what he's saying right now, by the way, I feel like we're equals and intellect. He's calling Michelle stupid. She's not smart enough to talk to me. Lacey is. is. Okay, Jess. But this whole idea that Lacey is this just wonderful person that's trying so hard to to unite this modern family and Michelle is just this big speed bump that won't get
Starting point is 00:38:34 out of the way. No, I don't believe you. I don't believe it's this cordial at all. She hit your ex with a cease and desist letter over nothing. So no, I don't. I don't believe. think she's suddenly like this. Oh, she's so easy, breezy. She's awesome. She's the love of my life and the light of the world. This is, this is expected behavior. This is exactly how I thought this was going to go. We're going to get so many scenes of the two of them that seem very forced like the dinner that we have later in the episode. Oh, I hated the dinner. I hated it. And it's all just to paint her as not that big of a deal, not that big of a threat. She's a sweet girl. She would never do anything trying to make up for the season's assistance and all the other things that we heard off camera
Starting point is 00:39:20 from last season. It's all just making up. Let's just try to get into a better light. We'll try to do this. And look, Jesse's in a good position. It seems like everybody on the cast, obviously, aside for Michelle, Janet, they all like them. Everybody seems to be fine with him. Lala is a non-factor. He's in a good spot. So he's in a good spot to do this, to bring her on like this. It's going to hit the fan at some point. It doesn't really matter because eventually you are going to have to have scenes where Lacey's sitting down with somebody else and she's going to have to talk about this. She's going to have to have an actual interaction with somebody who's going to ask her real questions.
Starting point is 00:39:53 It's all going to blow up. Oh, yeah. And it's going to blow up in tremendous fashion. And then you're going to see Lacey. Then you're going to get the mask peeled back and really understand who she is, I think. And, you know, I don't like to rush to judgment. But based on the dinner scene alone and the cease and desist and the other stuff we heard last season. I have an idea. I'm not going to confirm it yet. I'll wait and see because I'm,
Starting point is 00:40:18 I'm a fair judge of character. I like to think, but I think I have her pegged. We'll see in time. Jesse also co-signs Michelle and Schwartz in this moment. Again, it's in a very condescending way. But for me, that's enough. It's it's the doors open. I want to see those two do whatever they're going to do. But let's get back to Lala's. And even in this, like, you know, Luke even saying to Schwartz, like, we point before the party.
Starting point is 00:40:48 It's like I just, like I just stopped talking about sex, dude. Like just for one scene. Every scene that Luke has been on, he has been discussing sex. I know. And it's almost like,
Starting point is 00:41:00 like I wanted to reach through the screen because that's, you just keep it to yourself. Like this isn't like a full circle moment. Like, hey, we finally banged. Like,
Starting point is 00:41:10 if Schwartz had, this conversation and him and Michelle were like, will they, won't they? Will they? Won't they? And then eventually sits down and was like, yeah, we hooked up last night. That's that type of scene. You sitting down and telling other people like, hey, we finally had sex, like, no, it makes me feel icky. It makes me feel like Kristen gave in to you because you wouldn't shut the fuck up about it.
Starting point is 00:41:30 And that makes me feel weird. Yep, it makes me feel yucky and I don't care for it. And I would also like to see one scene in which you're not talking about sex. Yeah. Just one. Fingers crossed. Maybe next episode we'll see. but Nia and Lala are talking.
Starting point is 00:41:44 And I don't mind this role for Lala if she wants to take this on, especially in this fashion where she's kind of neutral. She's like, hey, I just want to find level ground for you and Janet. Like a lot of damage has been done. But another thing is, and this is a great question from Nia, is it really to try to get along again? Or is Janet just fed up with feeling uncomfortable in a group setting? Because that's not an apology either.
Starting point is 00:42:09 And it's 100% the latter as we're going to. going to find out very shortly. But that's, that was the best way to put it because that's intentions. What are her intentions? And you know what they are. Nia, she's smart. She knows what's going on. But she is also a classy lady. So she's like, yes, I'll have a conversation with her. Bring her out. Fala goes against Janet brings her back. Shortest conversation ever. The weirdest fucking conversation I have ever seen because Janet once again and she's trying to do it in a disarming way puts the onus on Nia. Is there anything that you want to get off your chest?
Starting point is 00:42:46 No, dude. Nope. No. There's a million things you have to say to me. I don't have to say shit to you. Well, it was coded in a way that Lala set it up by saying, hey, you know, don't jump on her. Just hear her out. See what she has to say.
Starting point is 00:43:03 Now, Lala, that made me think that Lala talked to Nia and said, hey, would you be interested in having a conversation with Janet? you have things to get off your chest that you want to tell her. And Nia said yes. Now, I don't really fault Lala for this because I think that going into it, she's like, oh my God, like they agreed to have a conversation together. That's cool. Let's see what happens.
Starting point is 00:43:21 And I'm sure Nia has some things to say to Janet. So, hey, hear her out. Like that's a normal way to speak to somebody who has issues with somebody else that you're setting up for a conversation. Not really Lala's fault. Nia had nothing to say. She wanted to actually see what Janet was going to say. Like, fine, I'll be the adult in the room.
Starting point is 00:43:37 I'll be the bigger person. Come on over. have your conversation, see where that goes. I'm actually a little interested to hear what you have to say. Janet didn't really have anything to say. She was hoping that Nia was going to do all the talking, and then she could apologize and then hope to get an apology in return. Again, too far gone.
Starting point is 00:43:53 Same situation with Jasmine. We just watched two different conversations. Jasmine spoke a little bit more than Nia did. Actually, a lot more than Nia did because Nia didn't say a word, but she thought going into this like, all right, cool, we're bridging the gap. We can have a conversation. is how we're going to communicate moving forward. I find out what you're feeling.
Starting point is 00:44:13 You find out what I'm feeling. She quickly realizes, no, it's too far gone. It's over. But this is when Janet becomes Janet, because she immediately runs back in, tells Lala right away, and then pulls Jared into the bathroom to have a conversation. Like, I guess, you know,
Starting point is 00:44:28 it's just too far gone. She can't say anything to me. Like, nope, nope, nope, nope, there's the mask, completely slipping off. And again, we're telling you, let the mask fall. Go be that person. I don't care what you do. but it's better than this.
Starting point is 00:44:40 I mean, yeah, obviously it's a little funny to watch, but it's way better than this. It was crazy. And then when she went and got Jared,
Starting point is 00:44:47 first of all, it's just, since we're doing the therapy thing, what that scene told me, Nia's protecting her peace. She's doing the work. And she knows how to handle this. Janet,
Starting point is 00:45:01 the one proclaiming therapy, is not doing the work. And it shows in this moment because she's not able to formulate a sentence in which you can say, hey, a lot of shit happened last year. I'm sorry for X, Y, or Z. You didn't know what to say. So instead, you take this moment, spin it, take your buddy Jared, who we do not need on
Starting point is 00:45:21 this show. Jared needs to be gone immediately and take pink boots with you. But you go to Jared and you say, she stared and nodded. If the conversation goes below the surface, she doesn't want to talk about it. You didn't present anything to go below the surface. You didn't do anything. And now you're going to try to paint it as though once again, what was me Janet they're not talking to me why though dude why why why are we not talking to you
Starting point is 00:45:45 fucking take your head out of your ass for two seconds and and just understand i was at least happy to see when nia comes walking in and she's like i i got to go pump let me go find a bathroom goes right in walks in janet actually said oh come in come on in which is so fucking funny but when nia goes and she's walking around she's like all right i'm going to pull dandy in here because i got to let him know what the hell's going on i was worried that that nia was actually like putting up a front when she was talking to Janet and she was actually going to sit down and be like, it's just so sad. I'm breaking down.
Starting point is 00:46:15 Like, no, they were laughing. And look, I don't even care about talking about Danny because I don't really care what he has to say. But Nia, I was worried that she was actually putting up, but she wasn't. She really genuinely does not care. That's where she is. She's protecting her peace. She's not going to let Janet gets to her.
Starting point is 00:46:30 That's awesome. That's what I want to see. That's what I want your response to be. It was the weirdest conversation ever. I didn't say a word. She clearly didn't want to say anything. She wanted to hear me out. That's not how this is going to go.
Starting point is 00:46:41 So I'm going to move forward with my life. That's exactly what I want from that. Unbothered. If everybody can remain unbothered while talking to Janet, like we saw Jasmine do, like we saw Nia do, it's going to drive her insane. And it may very well push her to that villain role that we so desperately want her to take on. Because that's the only possible way that she's going to be likable in any way, shape, or form.
Starting point is 00:47:04 And I say that with a grain of salt. But let's go check in with the ball buddies because, Danny and Zach are on the way to get snipped. Danny again, like, the more he talks, the less I need him to talk at this juncture. I don't even want to talk about Danny at all. Like, this is, this was the scene, by the way, that really solidified it. And obviously the end of the episode. Oh, the end of the scenes are solidified it for me.
Starting point is 00:47:28 The end of this scene is what solidified it. The end of the episode. Yeah. No, this was where I'm at. Like, we started the episode. We went through episode one. I kind of had that feeling. I'm like, I don't care.
Starting point is 00:47:42 Like you're just trying to make jokes. Yeah. And like, I don't want to hear it because like you're not funny. And Zach even says it like he's his biggest fan. He laughs at everything. The doctor gets in on it like, okay. And then it's more of like a. The doctor was wild.
Starting point is 00:47:55 But then it's more of like, are you doing this for yourself? Are you doing this for damn? Well, you know, I wanted to have another kid. But she's not into it. So like I don't know. And we get like a glimpse of him talking about like, I'm not going to be able to like again, I'm not going to be able to have sex for a couple of days.
Starting point is 00:48:11 I'm not going to be able to do anything for a couple of days. Is this going to hurt? And then he just makes a ton of jokes. I'm like, no, I don't want any more from you. I want nothing more from you. Also, given what went down last season and some of the rumors and accusations thrown around, do you really want to be sitting there making these kinds of jokes? No.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Really a good look for you to be like, well, who's going to take care of my wife after the 35th time? She's going to be a wheelchair, doc. Yeah. Dude, like, no, what? That's not even a funny. And two, ew, the gross. Like, he's making dirty old man jokes. And again, that makes me think, like, you have a reputation.
Starting point is 00:48:51 Maybe don't confirm the reputation with weird jokes. And, hey, Doc, let's not comment on his balls, maybe. Yeah, they are really big. No, no. Nope. Nope. Absolutely not. I was Zach in that scene, because he's just making faces.
Starting point is 00:49:06 And I felt that. Now let's get to the most uncomfortable dinner I've seen in a long time. We get Lacey and Jesse and I don't even really understand what happened in the beginning. She got ambushed by a psychic named Lola who had something dire to tell her. And, you know, people think she's boozy. And she's like, I like to play the reverse uno, the bougie card. I'm not like that, but I am that. She literally says she's both things in the same sentence.
Starting point is 00:49:35 Then she starts to talk about her house. And then I figured out their relationship. He's a cuckled. He likes it because she just shits on him. And he's like, yeah, I love you. Thank you. I love you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:49:48 Yeah. The whole scene was that for me. That's exactly what I thought about this whole scene. And again, it kind of furthered my point of he's trying to paint her into the nicest possible picture. Don't do that because we're going to find out eventually. And look, she might be that. She might not be that.
Starting point is 00:50:05 I don't really care. I want to watch it unfold. And she's not that. It's just pushing me in the other direction. But yeah, the whole conversation is like, it's supposed to give us a glimpse into what they want for their futures. And I actually did like that Lacey was saying,
Starting point is 00:50:19 like, as I if I have a, you know, I have a child and in there, she said adolescent, which was wrong because I think her kid's like three years old. Do you have a toddler? Adolescent is like,
Starting point is 00:50:29 yeah, whatever. But she said, yeah, as long as I have an adolescent child, I'm not going to live with a man. I'm like, okay.
Starting point is 00:50:34 That kind of makes sense. Like, that's fair. And I do understand, like, grounded wise in your family. You have a child. He has a child. Like, yeah, this is how you should be dating. It makes sense. It's a little wonky that you live all the way down in OC and you're coming up to
Starting point is 00:50:47 LA to film, to stay with him, to do whatever you want. But all I really got from that part of it, the family part of it was it seems like you're, I don't know if she has a daughter or a son. It didn't really. She had one of those ambiguous names for her kid that I couldn't really figure out. But it seems like their kids get along. They have their own language. It seems like they're bullying.
Starting point is 00:51:05 the parents, which is funny. So it does seem like their relationship is good, at the very least. I'm okay with all of that. It's just all the bullshit that comes along with it where I'm like, dude, just no, let her be yourself and you be yourself. Stop being this weird version of Jesse. Go back to being your normal Jesse self, which is going to come out eventually because it's going to get exhausting to put up this front.
Starting point is 00:51:24 Yeah, this weird sniffling, wormy, Jesse. I do not care for. Like in, what's the word? I can't even think of right now, second episode of the night. but back to back to back sentences. There's a house next year's for rent. That's out of your price range. I'm a little click.
Starting point is 00:51:43 You're super clingy. I'm extremely happy with you, Lacey. And you know what? I'm going to try to take down my complaining, my defensiveness and stupidity. It's not stupidity. It's lack of self-awareness. So she said all of these things to this man.
Starting point is 00:51:58 And instead of being like, hey, that's kind of mean, he's like, ha, ha. I love a talk like that to me. I love it when you put me in my place. That's what I really need. And like, yeah, I weirdly get what he means. I mean, she is very different from Michelle, it seems. And she's going to tell you when you're wrong, which maybe you do need somebody like that.
Starting point is 00:52:18 But maybe I think you'll tell you when you're wrong when you're not wrong. Yeah, that's true too. But the way he's going about it just feels weird. I don't like it. It made me feel like he. He's trying to relate to her and everything. And she's not giving the same energy. He's like, I love you very much.
Starting point is 00:52:31 Thank you. Thanks. And then she says, I swear I'm really nice and loving. You want to kiss me? No, I love you. Thank you. Look, again, if it didn't feel so manufactured, I'd be like, all right, that's like, everybody's got a weird, quirky relationship.
Starting point is 00:52:45 We deal with this all the time. We talk about relationships. Some of them make no sense to us, but we can tell that you guys love each other. When you do that, if you just did that in a nutshell and it was a very weird scene, we'd have a couple of questions, but it would be like, okay, like, yeah, maybe it works for you guys. Great. When you're adding all of these other layers on top of it. it trying to make her this person that she's not and trying to make yourself this person that
Starting point is 00:53:06 you're not, it makes it weird. And now we have even more questions and don't just don't go about it that way because I don't want that. I like Jesse. I love Jesse sometimes. Just be yourself. It's weird. I don't like watching it.
Starting point is 00:53:18 I don't like it. It makes me feel weird. I just don't like it. There's too many scenes in this show right now that are just making me feel like not, like not fun, uncomfortable. It's like, ooh, that's weird. It's like straight up. I'm uncomfortable right now.
Starting point is 00:53:31 I don't want to be. Agreed. Oh, boy. Well, Michelle and Schwartz go on a date, even though Michelle says it's not a date, but there's definitely a date. And they go to a one of those salt caves that we've seen in the past and uh, seen this salt cave in the past. Is it this one? Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:44 Yeah. Sure. I don't. Yeah, I was in LA. You're right. There was one in Salt Lake City too. That makes sense. You know, so totally.
Starting point is 00:53:54 Hey. But anyway, they're a little sound bath in there and they're, they're really connecting. And I, if there's one thing I can say for Schwartz, he is good at listening. you know, like we've seen him in this role many times with many different people. And, you know, Michelle has been through a lot. Her mom passed away last year. As we know, it was, it was part of the season. It was very sad.
Starting point is 00:54:14 And she also was going through this terrible divorce with Jesse. And you got Schwartz over here who's on the tail end of the Schwartz and Sandy and Scandival and all of that crazy shit. So there's a lot that they need to work out in this, in this salt room. I love that we're seeing Emerald Eagle. screaming. That's awesome. I think he might have taken a little something before he went in that salt room, but that's fine with me. And then you got Michelle who's like completely buying into this whole thing. You know, it's like so healing, the energy's bouncing up the walls. And yes, I know I sound crazy right now.
Starting point is 00:54:47 That's all I need. I need the self-awareness and I'm cool. I'm like, all right, at least you know that sounds a little wacky. But when they get done their sound bath, they're just talking back and forth. And Tom is talking a little bit more about his family, as we know through the years, his family's kind of a strange dynamic, you know, his brothers. And then his dad, his dad's currently living alone. He's got like a brain bleed right now. Meanwhile, Michelle is talking about her mom and watching her pass away and that she's just barely surviving right now.
Starting point is 00:55:15 She's still not okay. She's like breaking down and crying while she's driving, crying before bed. All this is telling me is that these two are a great rebound for each other. And they just need to go have some fun. Is they should get married because it works. No. What do you mean? We just watched Jesse and Lacey have a very weird conversation.
Starting point is 00:55:38 Yeah. Actually dating and talking about futures. These two should be well past them. These two should be two years into their relationship. It makes total sense to me. And look, I fully support it. I don't support the sound bath and all the other stuff. But I support this, that's for sure.
Starting point is 00:55:53 Yeah. You know, in the end of it, too. I was like, come on, Schwartz, make a move. I know. Because she was like. It made me upset, though. I know. You got make a move from that.
Starting point is 00:56:01 What do you mean? And she was like, whoever, yo, you got, oh, I see what I see how you got there. I understand how I didn't take it that way, but I see how you got there. I'm so excited the next time I get to kiss somebody. Who's it going to be? No, see, I took it the complete opposite. I took it as like, who's that going to be? Not you.
Starting point is 00:56:19 If she said that, she wouldn't have made it. The eye contact tells me that she was talking to him. She was pretty fucking weird. You can't tell me after they both talk about their feelings, talk about their emotions, talk about sex, and then they get to the point of talking about smooching, that she wouldn't have been like, come on over here and give me a smooch, pal. No, I took it as a full-blown friend zone. Oh, I didn't think so at all.
Starting point is 00:56:43 I'm going to go ahead and put this out to the audience. You guys let us know in the comments. That actually adds up perfectly for these two. We have no idea how to make heads or tails. Obviously, shorts would be into it. But with Michelle, who is at sometimes very robotic and very confusing. and Schwartz, who sometimes I don't know if he's being real or if he's acting, this makes total sense that we don't know.
Starting point is 00:57:07 I know, but let's put it out to the other put out to you guys. You tell us in the comments if you think that she wanted Schwartz to make a move or if she was friends owning Schwartz. I'm curious to see what you have to say. But I guess we've got to talk about this. Yeah. I also forgot that the Valley is like a darker show, you know, I forget that aspect. of it where they really lean into like shit that makes you uncomfortable yeah and i don't think that
Starting point is 00:57:36 that doesn't have longevity i think they're going to have to pivot away from making us feel weird all the time like it just you can't carry like the first season it was just like whoa what are we watching right now last year was just so tumultuous with jacks i need to feel differently moving forward because yeah i just feel gross and this scene didn't help at all because Danny and Neer talking and she's like, how was the doctor? He's like, oh, I like them a lot. But did you know, I have to ejaculate 35 times, period. It's like, or you wait six weeks.
Starting point is 00:58:13 Can we not add that one in there? We're just going to say straight up that you have to come 35 times. Yeah, but he's also saying like the doctor told me I can't even move for like 10 days. I'm not going to be able to pick up the kids. I thought that was like a joke. I wasn't sure he's hard to read. Dude, he's hard to read, but like he's annoying. And I just, I don't like him.
Starting point is 00:58:33 I simply do not like him as a person. I agree. And this scene kind of, this is the one that nailed that one home for me because he is talking and he is really talking, right? Like she's in a confessional saying that she loves the house. But she feels really isolated and removed from her friends. Obviously, Doty and her daughter are very close in age.
Starting point is 00:58:51 So it would be really nice to bop over and hang out with her. She doesn't have that anymore. It took her two hours to get home the other day. Stop to feed the kid, this, that, the other. And she's talking and really opening up to Danny saying, like, you know, I want to give my all to the kids. But like, you know, meanwhile, this new baby's not taking a bottle. I've never dealt with that before. Life with four kids.
Starting point is 00:59:10 The house is always a mess. My nervous system's a mess. I got to clean up the house before bed. I got to work. All this other shit. Like, it's just a lot. It's a lot on my shoulders. Real shit.
Starting point is 00:59:20 Real conversation. Hey, help me. Spouse. Danny's response. Just focus on what's important. all the love making on the calendar I started to put together fuck you in the face pal
Starting point is 00:59:33 I hated that was the worst I was like dude she's breaking down in front of you she is literally saying to you I'm on the verge of a burnout I'm overwhelmed and I need help and your response is I can't wait to bang later fuck you I like any good will I had
Starting point is 00:59:49 towards Danny which was not a lot is gone entirely that was so shit dude yeah and it was also like it was just again it was a very consistent episode but uh it was it was a shitty way to end the episode it's like all right really like come on i hope the audience feels the same way i our audience is cool they always get the they're on the right side of history this is a funny one uh when we get some questions here for uh jacqueline michel crest is jason purpose purposely purposely being edited out i'm
Starting point is 01:00:23 cool with it i fucking hope so i hope so he's all he is he is So bland, even when he's on the show. And, yeah, last season, I need no more Jason on my screen. Yeah. Uh, Rachel Nicholas, Scooby is the name of Shooter's dog. Sure is. Great boy. Scooby-Doo.
Starting point is 01:00:42 Scooby-Doo. Here we go. Thank you. Leah Hall 90. What the actual fuck, Danny. Is this the real hammer for the cameras? It doesn't matter. The real him.
Starting point is 01:00:52 Yeah. It doesn't matter, but this is probably the real him. Blah. makeup laughs are the same thing. Why is no one telling Luke and Danny to not pressure
Starting point is 01:01:00 their wives for sex? We don't know, but we're yelling it over here. Maybe they can hear us to the microphone. Stop it. From Taye Kessner, on a scale of 1 to 10,
Starting point is 01:01:08 how annoyed was shooter during the sound bath scene. I mean, sound baths are always, you're going to catch me on a 10 no matter what. However, Schwartz and Michelle are very interesting people.
Starting point is 01:01:19 So it did take away a little bit, but it's still an absolute 10. I will never deviate from that. Uh, Oh, this is actually really funny from Colie Marie 1. Why is Janet dressed like a zookeeper? And also do you like Lacey? Holding out judgment for Lacey, but they're setting her up very weirdly and
Starting point is 01:01:37 being Jesse and Lacey. But Janet is dressed like a zookeeper because she sucks. I don't have anything else to say about that. She's brutal and I don't think Lacey's going to be a nice person, but time will tell. Let's see. This could be anybody from 77 Carebear 44. or sigh, why the hell is blah blah on our screens again? She's already trying to start shit and I hate it.
Starting point is 01:02:00 I'm assuming it's Janet, but that could be anybody. Come on, dude. I know it's a second episode. We'll put your thinking. Oh, yeah. Also, my girlfriend in the background just yelled la la, sorry. Who the fuck is this?
Starting point is 01:02:17 Well, the funny thing is a la la I also don't think try to start shit this episode, but it is funny. I think that's just the base level for everybody. in the audience watching her. Mikey White, do we think Neo was justified and not taking the bait to air her grievances with Janet? No, absolutely justified. She doesn't know Janet shit. No.
Starting point is 01:02:36 Yeah. Janet is the one that has to take all of the onus and answer for last season. Again, you can take the Danny part out of it. She had issues with everybody. She had issued the Nia stemming from other shit. Like, she was a train wreck last year. So she needs to get on her knees and beg for forgiveness. Oh, did we ask this one?
Starting point is 01:02:55 Jay Bay the Hut, 713? No. Will Schwartz be the number one guy in the group? Zach's still there. Zach's number one in the group. Jesse for me is number two still. I think Zach's got a firm hold on number one. I mean, Schwartz is ahead of Luke right now for sure.
Starting point is 01:03:14 Oh, yeah. Schwartz is doing fine. Schwartz is doing completely fine. Schwartz is exactly what we thought Schwartz was going to be. Yep. RMEB-124 is Danny the most popular. of all the Bravo husbands. I say yes,
Starting point is 01:03:26 that last scene was brutal. Yes. Right now. Yeah. Right now. But yeah, right now he definitely is. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:32 I mean, that's a very, very fluid list. But today, yes. Today he is the most tangible. Oh, and here we go.
Starting point is 01:03:40 We can end on this because this is confirmation from R.N. Lays, that's the same salt room from the valley Persian style with Gigi and Rzaa. There we go.
Starting point is 01:03:48 Thank you. Thank you. We needed that. We love a full circle moment. Thank you so much. So yeah, I mean, question marks, right? Lots of question marks of where this show is going to go. There's pieces here to make it good.
Starting point is 01:04:04 Like it still has the cast that can perform. It's just more, I hate doing this already. But I'm going to point at Jermaine and say, where are we pointing the storylines of season? What are we aiming for? Because as of right now, no one cares about the shit that's currently happening. I'm sorry, I don't at least. And are we once again highlight?
Starting point is 01:04:24 It, oh, God, it's so germane-coded. All these Jeremiah moments are like, we're highlighting these shitty dudes and their shitty dude behavior. Again, it's like he's got a fucking boner for, for fuckboys. Yep. Oh, damn that, dude. He should have gone away with Jacks, but we'll see, everybody.
Starting point is 01:04:43 I went into this episode thinking, oh, it was pretty good second episode. I'm leaving this review as not nearly as confident. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Welcome to the club, pal. Yeah. You said before it was a good second episode.
Starting point is 01:04:57 Then we started talking about it. I didn't say good. I never once said good. No, all the tape. It's not good, nor is it bad. Never good, never bad. It's always, I'm going to go back right there. Check the film.
Starting point is 01:05:09 But whatever you want. I am going to do whatever I want. You're not my dad. Pick boots. You're not mad at me. You're mad at you. You're already to hate my father. That's all I got.
Starting point is 01:05:20 You got anything else? Nope. That's our show, Rob, bro's are out of here. For eight years, we've been asking the same question over and over again. How did this happen? My name's Mandy. And I'm Melissa, and we're the host of Moms and Mysteries, the True Crime podcast with over 55 million downloads. We're two Florida moms who are obsessed with mysteries. Each week, we do deep dives into fascinating true crime stories. We cover everything from infamous cases like Casey Anthony to the bizarre and complex crimes right here in our home state,
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