Bros & Shows - Hey Guys, Janet's in Therapy! (The Valley Full Recap)
Episode Date: April 10, 2026What's up bros? We're back in The Valley with the most consistent show on Bravo (not complimentary or derogatory) to really focus on all of the existing, potential and crumbling relationships. While w...e're still keeping an eye on LaLa's involvement; Danny has really fallen off a cliff to the point where we just do not want to watch him anymore. He's gone from quirky to boring to a little annoying to get him off my screen ASAP but let's focus on the budding romance (?) between Michelle and Schwartz because that's really scratching an itch right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I said it last week, and I'll say it again.
This show is just consistent.
It is consistent for better or worse.
It is consistent.
And that I very much appreciate about it.
It's gotten to the point.
Maybe I was wrong in thinking it's like on a downfall.
I think you're right.
I think it's just it's the same every week.
You can expect the same amount.
Like you said, for better or worse, you're not going to have anything that's going to
resemble a huge blowup that's crazy.
entertaining and you're also not going to have anything that's just downright boring it's just
you know it's it's there and it might it doesn't have potential i don't know that's uh
that's the question that's the question on my mind as there's a drive in a deep left field by
castellanos it will be oh man it's eight o'clock and so that'll make it a
i don't need the spotlight i shine just fine hi i'm karma and yes i am a bitch bra bros
Good evening, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of Brof Bros, your favorite podcast from the pros for everybody. For whoever wants to listen, I'm a co-host, Steele Russell, joined as always by Santa Glute Rita. Glute Rita. Nice, glutes.
Yeah, I'm seeing glutes.
Nice, dude. Yeah, you'll be show some ass on stream. I'll do it.
Hell yeah, brother. For the right price. Um, yeah, I mean, we're, we're back in the valley. I don't. I don't.
know how to feel about it, but we're back in the valley.
Well, we actually do start the episode in Santa Clarita.
And it looks like that house is beautiful.
Nothing against the house, but this episode kind of confirmed the way I was feeling about
Danny. I'm kind of over Danny.
I like Nia.
I think Nia is actually, and we ended last season saying maybe Danny and Nita don't need
to be on this show.
Maybe they just move to Santa Clarita and just move on with their lives.
I actually think this show needs Nia way more than it needs Danny.
I don't really even care about Danny.
He just kind of annoys me.
I agree.
I think overall it was a solid second episode.
You know,
it sets the table for a lot of the drama or lack thereof,
we might see this season.
I agree with the Danny sentiment.
I thought I had this guy figured out.
I don't think so.
I think it's going the other way,
unfortunately for him.
But yeah,
Nea, great.
You know,
she's, again, consistent.
Danny is,
he's losing me as well.
So it's interesting you said that.
Everybody else I'm good with.
What scares me about this episode?
Okay, because the show is good and I wanted to continue to be good.
What scared me about this one was Lala a little bit because it felt ever so slightly like Lala of old at times.
And I think that that's where I see this show taking a weird turn.
And I don't want that to happen because I actually, I like everybody else.
I like the Tom Schwartz and Michelle storyline.
I think that's funny.
I like the Dodie and Luke shit.
Luke means to clean it up a lot.
But I like that.
I just,
I'm worried about Lala.
I'm worried about Brittany.
And I'm worried about Danny.
Yeah.
I mean,
I've been worried about Brittany.
I was worried about Lala and Schwartz coming back.
This episode felt a little to Schwartz and Lala centric.
There's a lot of them.
I guess we have to do it eventually.
As long as it doesn't continue to be Schwartz and Lala-centric, I'll be okay.
The shorts and Michelle scenes are just funny.
They're awkward as hell.
They make no sense to me, but it's kind of entertaining and kind of funny.
That might lose its lust or two.
Brittany, I don't know.
This is, Brittany's starting on the path that I was afraid of.
That's kind of where we are with her.
I didn't want that.
And it's, she's enough of a force to ruin a whole shit.
show if they keep doing what they're doing.
She needs to be on the outskirts right now.
And I don't know.
We'll work our way through this episode,
but it's going to highlight a lot of the things
that I'm worried about about this show.
And it's not highlighting enough of what I'm actually excited
about for this show, if that makes any sense.
But yeah, but yeah, I mean,
second episode, don't judge us.
If we get a little loopy, you know how these things go.
I think we should just rip off the Band-aid,
hop back into this bad boy.
Let's go for it.
Well, the first meaningful scene that we start out,
with his Luke and Doty.
And they're talking about Michelle and Schwartz.
I think everybody's talking about those two.
I mean, it makes sense to me.
They are the talk of the town.
And it makes a lot of sense, honestly.
And the fact that Jesse is probably ironically and condescendingly co-signing it.
I don't care.
I mean, that's enough for me, though,
where it's not going to cause a stupid issue for no reason.
It's such a non-factor if those two get together that, like, I wanted to happen.
Again, I think that Schwartz is so whatever that if they do hook up,
and then they don't do anything.
It won't even be awkward.
It's just going to be like back to normal.
So I'm cool with that storyline.
But with the Luke and Tody shit, you know, episode two,
and we're talking about sex again.
And I, it's just, dude, even if you don't feel that way, like, fake it.
Don't go on TV and do these shenanigans because it's not going to come out.
Well, I understand what you're saying.
You're trying to frame it as, you know, our intimacy.
And, you know, it's about you and me.
You just want to get laid, bro.
And, like, she is not ready yet.
And you lay out this whole scene because what ends up happening is now you're going to make
her feel guilty for not being ready.
And that's not fair.
Like, she just pushed a human out of her vagina.
And you're like, I love your body.
Great.
Thanks.
I'm not ready to have sex with you yet.
But what about our intimacy?
And I want to get back the fact, here's my thing.
We know, because they talked about it too much, that they point a lot.
Okay, they were boinking left and right.
You could argue that they were boinking that much to get pregnant, just saying, but whatever,
he wants to get back to that.
Yeah.
There's no world in which you're going to have sex as much as you had sex before you have a kid.
It's simply not going to happen.
It seems like common sense.
And that's like the big issue.
I mean, the big issue is more you're going to make Kristen feel worse than she already feels.
And you shouldn't be doing that with a woman who just gave birth.
So that's, you know, where you should probably start.
And my big gripe with the whole thing is Luke is clearly not educated on any of this shit.
It doesn't understand what he's saying or what he's doing, how he's making Kristen feel.
And we spent the whole first episode with him talking to other people, including us, about how he feels about this.
And we don't care.
Like, look, as dudes, nobody gives a fight.
how you feel after somebody has a kid.
Nobody cares.
Like, yeah, are you losing sleep?
All right, cool.
Which dad isn't.
Are you actually carrying some of the load when it comes to the baby?
If you are, great.
If you aren't, fuck you, whatever.
We've kind of moved past all of that.
And we've gotten back into this realm that we found ourselves on this show.
And unfortunately, we saw conversations and the people that he's talking to in this group
are not going to be helpful.
We watched the conversation with Jesse last week, which was not helpful.
And I'm sure, and even though we didn't really say,
see a scene between him and Danny talking about it.
We watched Danny do it with Nia.
He is not going to be...
It's worse than Luke.
It's worse than Luke. So Danny's still
worse than Luke, especially with the conversation that they have at the end of this episode.
So he's not getting any good advice.
Nobody's telling him, hey, man, no,
don't do that.
We should be doing other things.
You should be supporting your girlfriend's fiance.
You should be supporting your fiancee in this.
And as she gets through all of this,
and maybe when she's ready, you guys can start having
sex again, but you have to be patient and not tell her.
Like, this is one of those times, and you know, we're all about this in 2026 talking about
your feelings.
This is one of those times where you just shut the fuck up.
You just swallow your pride, swallow whatever issue you have going on and move on with
your life and hope and pray that things will start getting back to normal in like two months, dude.
Like JJO, buddy, JJ.
Yeah, literally.
Like, we even have that scene with Danny talking about getting a vasectomy.
me and he's talking about like cr-he's not even talking about cranking it he's talking about having
sex again it's like no dude like that should not be what you should be talking about about your
horny about your fiance they are way too fucking horny they need to figure it the hell out you know
either way together all of them get together do a circle jerk with a sound bad dude a circle jerk
relax right like literally just sit and like no one's going to judge it i mean you're in you're in
LA. Nobody cares. I'm sure that shit happens anyway. You can probably find it's probably on like
Instagram and TikTok. There's probably a bath house where they promote having a circle jerk,
especially after. And it's for guys who are not getting any because their wife just gave birth.
And it's probably a health clinic. And there's probably a sound bath behind you too. And all those
things are going to help you feel a lot better. If you live in LA, you live in any other city,
it's fucking weird as hell. But in LA, do it. All the influencers are doing it. Go for it.
But yeah, this, I'm honestly, I'm just kind of like beating around the bush because this whole conversation just made me feel icky and uncomfortable.
And I didn't want to see it.
I do not want to see that shit.
I'd rather see an uplifting conversation.
Like make Kristen feel good.
She just pushed a baby out.
Make her feel good about herself.
Make her feel good about how things are going to be in a couple of months.
Whatever.
That's the way you should be handling it.
Not what we just watched.
No.
And he seems to think that it's all about the physical attributes.
Or he's like, I love your body.
You look great.
It's like, that's nice.
Thanks.
There's so much more going on.
And if you want to really support her right now, hey, you're doing so good as a mom.
I'm so proud.
I love watching you be a mom, like stuff like that.
Like if you lift her up like that, she might want to have sex with you sooner.
I don't know.
But keep the defaults to, I love your body.
It's like that's not the point, Luke, fucking wake up, you dickhead.
Go jerk off with Danny somewhere.
Jesus Christ.
Those are the idiot dudes.
Yeah.
Those are the idiot dudes that have been trained or have, like, trained themselves to just always tell their girlfriend, fiance, wife, that they look good no matter what.
And they, and it seems to work out so far.
And they didn't realize that after giving birth, that you should be trying to, like, uplift them in different ways, not this way.
Anyway, let's move on.
We get to Brittany and Zach.
And, you know, this is, again, highlighting some of the stuff.
for like, oh, it's maybe not focus on this all season and scenes from this season show that
Brandon is going to be a part of the show.
And first looks, not great, by the way.
Yeah, unfortunately right away.
Yeah.
Yeah, like the first scene we see him in at the end of this episode, I'm like, oh, God,
that's who you.
We didn't know this shit.
And like the way that this conversation goes, like, Brittany's takeaway is that Zach is
attacking her and doing it.
Like, no, we're all watching.
We've watched it for long enough.
And just the context of the conversation, of course,
is talking about if she's moving too fast.
And we get into it pretty much right away.
Like, hey, how you feel and what's going on?
You're moving too fucking fast with this guy.
I love that.
And this is my takeaway with Zach is,
look, I'd rather have a friend like Zach who's going to tell you how it is,
who's going to tell you what you need to know.
He's going to hit you with a hard truth right away.
And all I got from Brittany and all of this is,
no, like you have to let me live.
And she even says, you know, I just, she contradicts herself right away, right?
She's like, yeah, well, I've been single for two years.
I'm ready to move on and I'm ready to figure things out.
And then she says, whoa, let me live.
I've only been single for a little bit.
And I just got out of a very abusive relationship.
Like, no, that's, you don't get it both ways.
He can't figure that out.
And we don't know shit about Brandon, by the way.
We have no idea of who this guy is.
We haven't done our due diligence, mostly because I truly don't care what Britney's up to in her personal life.
But come to find out, he's got three kids.
with two baby mamas.
And apparently both of those relationships are incredibly strained.
And all indications point to, it's probably his fault.
And I'm basing that off of Brittany talking about this guy, Zach talking about this guy,
and the scene that we get from next week.
A three second clip.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It seems like you are moving too fast because he gets defensive right away as soon as
Zach brings it up.
Yeah.
And again, like you said, this is who you want.
You want this guy.
You want the guy that's going to be like, hey, slow the fuck down.
down. Let's look at the red flags.
Are you not seeing some similarities between Jacks here?
And for her to take the stance of,
let me live my life,
do you know who you picked the first time?
You shouldn't be allowed to pick the second time.
You should have,
like,
your friends should absolutely have to vet everybody that you're interested in
because of what happened with Jack's Taylor.
And all Zach is trying to do right here,
and I know why he's taking this angle,
because I'm sure he's had calm conversations.
I'm sure he's tried to talk to her and level with her.
and it's gone over her head.
So at this point, he's like,
I'm not going to watch you do this again
because I care about you.
And despite her being a terrible friend to him,
he always shows up for her.
Zach's a real one.
And like, we've talked to Zach alike.
He's a great dude.
So if he's talking,
fucking listen to him.
All he's trying to say,
he's not even saying break up with the guy.
He's saying pump the brakes,
slow it down.
Can we talk about some of the things
that I'm seeing?
Because it's worrying me.
because there are a lot of things here that are very similar to the relationship that you just got out of.
And as he's talking more, again, we don't know Brandon.
For all intents and purposes, we don't care about Brandon at all.
But he's part of the show, so we have to talk about him.
If Zach is labeling this guy as a problem, I believe he's a problem.
And if he's telling you this, again, he's doing it from a place of, I'm not saying break up.
I'm saying slow down.
And her response,
and this is probably why
she didn't take on the girlfriend title
is so she could combat these conversations
and say,
whoa,
he wants to be boyfriend girlfriend.
And I said no.
Yeah.
But again,
that's what we're getting into
this stupid label thing
that I think is all horseshit
where it's like,
you just went to Cabo
with the guy for five days,
right?
You guys are talking every day,
your FaceTime,
this, that,
the other.
The labels are irrelevant
with how much you have
pulled yourself
into this relationship
already. And that's what Zach's worried about.
And that's what makes us at home worried because we don't want to
fucking watch that, dude. I don't want to watch that at all.
I don't need a Jack's 2.0 in the form of Brandon yelling at the cast members that we just
met. That's fucking crazy work. And he's been on the screen literally in a scene from next week
that was three seconds long and he's a douche bank.
Yeah. I just don't understand. And to watch Britney spin it either in the confessional or
when she does it later, when she's talking to her friends who don't actually keep her accountable,
I don't care for it.
I just simply don't care for it.
This is what you get with somebody like Brittany.
Like, yeah, unfortunately, it was captivating to watch her and Jacks in the first season.
It was captivating to watch her get out of that relationship last year.
But then you have to face the facts.
Now we've got Brittany, who has been a problem in a lot of different instances.
Jacks was a way bigger problem, but he's gone.
Now we have Brittany, who is a problem in her own right, in friendships, in dating.
And we have to watch all.
I just don't care.
I simply do not give a shit.
There's one route that it goes where I'm fine.
And that's if it's the comeuppance for her.
If this is a-
There's growth, like she sees Brandon do that and immediately cuts them off?
No, not that.
That's not going to happen.
I'm saying if we finally have, because we got a glimpse of it last season,
there was no follow-through.
if we have Doty,
if we have Zach,
if we have multiple people
stand up and say,
I'm fucking done.
I've tried.
You don't reciprocate this friendship.
You leave me out to dry.
You put us in bad situations.
You don't listen to us.
You're not a real friend.
If that's where this goes
and it's a check Brittany season,
I'm okay with that.
That's a different route
that I'm like,
all right,
because it's time.
Simply because from like a real life standpoint,
you guys are good friends.
Zach, you're a great friend.
You don't deserve this shit.
Doty.
You're a great friend to Brittany.
you ride or die for her. Do you have your own issues? Sure. But you are you and you have stood by
her through all of this stuff. So I'm done with the non-recipricated friendship. So if we get a season
of we're going to bring that to light and really hammer it home, then I'm fine. That would be a
good route for me. Yeah, I agree with that. But let's get to Lala. Oh, Lala. Let's get to Lala.
Give them Lala. And boy, did we. And she's setting up for Sosa's birthday.
party and it's our first glimpse of Jason and I just wrote boo on my notes.
But obviously Janet's a little apprehensive about seeing Doty and seeing a lot of the
other people that she hasn't seen yet.
We're getting a lot of awkward arrivals.
You know, she's kind of huddled over in the corner and people are walking by or everyone's
trying to not make eye contact, all of that good stuff.
Well, it is kind of funny that Doty said and verbatim.
It's a one-year-old's birthday party.
Like, what are we going to do?
I'm fully capable of what?
way and not doing anything.
Which it seems like she is, at least in this party.
Here.
But yeah, like, we know and there were kids around.
Maybe it wasn't a birthday party.
I don't know.
Was it Cruz's birthday party?
Is that what they were at Britney's?
It was a pool party.
I don't know if it was a birthday pool party.
No, it's a one year old birthday party.
It was not one year old.
No.
If it was Cruz's birthday party.
He was like, what, three or four?
I just love the idea that Kristen cuts it off.
Like, it's a one year old's birthday party.
Yeah.
Come on. I'm not going to do anything.
Now, at a four-year-old's birthday party, you better fucking get the fuck out of here.
But the big difference and while we're setting up and while Janet's talking about it, first
off, Janet's already bullshit.
She's already done the line five times now.
I started therapy.
If you have to say that you started therapy, I don't care what you say.
It's not working.
I don't want to hear it.
I don't want to hear it.
It's not working.
That's worse than using the therapy words.
Like, we know if somebody drops the line like, oh, yeah, like, if, you're, like, if,
it's absolutely organic and we're talking a confessional and a producer puts you in that direction
and you say, yeah, I started therapy after last year, you know, it was kind of tough, whatever.
And you don't bring it up again, but we see you using the obvious therapy words.
We know that you're not learning.
You're actually using therapy for an attack, which is not good.
We don't want to see that.
Janet's using it and a, hey, hey, guys, lay off me.
Yeah, back off.
I mean, please, come on, give me a break.
Like, just give me another chance.
Like, that's what I want to see.
but the way Lala goes about it
This is a big difference between the way
Brittany goes about it.
Lala does say,
hey,
by the way,
there's not going to be a problem,
right?
I invited Kristen.
Oh, no,
no, no,
there's not going to be a problem.
Kristen says it too.
So she had a conversation,
whether it was on screen or off screen,
she addressed it,
which is how you do it.
Lala can do it,
which gives me a little bit of hope for Lala.
Brittany can't do it.
Brittany beat around the bush and said,
well,
you know, Janet's probably not even going to come.
Why would Janet not come?
You invited her.
That's stupid to think that.
knowing where Kristen and Janet are.
So that's just immediately more negative points towards Brittany,
a little slight positive points towards Lala,
just for acting like a normal human baby.
But I completely agree.
I mean, she leads it off.
And I'm like, oh, no, that's the route she's taking this season.
We saw a glimpse of it last week.
And I was like, all right, it's still too early.
Maybe we're going to get a different route.
No, she's going with the leave me alone route.
I've been through enough route.
It's like, you don't get to dictate that because of your behavior last season.
Because she literally says, I don't want to feel like that anymore.
Last summer was tough.
and the group got torn apart.
You tore the group apart.
That was you and your husband.
Nobody else did that.
That was you, Janet.
Now you're like,
everyone's being so mean to me.
You were such an asshole last year.
And like,
I'm not saying that Danny doesn't deserve a check.
I don't know what's going on
with that whole situation as far as what he's up to.
I'm not going to lose anything.
I'm not sure.
That aside,
you were still a piece of shit to everybody else on the show.
So if we remove the Danny situation,
you're still an asshole.
and you don't even see that.
You think that it's like a mutual playing field in which like,
well, they were mean to me too.
It's like, no, you started it.
You thou hath cast the first stone.
I don't know.
It just pops up every now and then.
But like, it's just crazy to me.
And like, Nia, I actually believe her when she's like,
I don't really notice attention.
Like, maybe it's awkward for like, I don't care.
She's not on my radar.
She does seem very unbothered when Janet's around.
And I think that's also she seems to have a lot going on.
So she might be in her own head about stuff.
But that's, this is, look, I'm not saying or claiming that knee is in therapy, but she strikes
me as somebody who has gone to therapy and has learned how to figure out situations and how to
navigate issues.
She has an issue with Janet.
It seems like something that we're never going to be able to fix.
So why am I paying at any attention?
I've got things going on in my life that actually need my attention and I need to figure out.
I'm not really worried about how Janet feels about something.
I'm not going to be coerced or forced to talk to Janet in a way that is unsuitable for me.
That's how Nia is going about it.
So I actually do believe her when she says, I'm not going to pay her any minds.
I've got enough going on.
Yep.
I want 100% believable.
And regardless, like that is how you handle this situation as an adult, as a grownup.
Now, here's where I get nervous.
Okay.
It seems like such a one-off, like not, don't get stuck on it.
but when Lala goes,
I'm going to get the lifeguard's number.
Fine, okay?
That's fine.
But then when she goes,
if it wasn't my daughter's birthday,
I would go have a quickie.
I'm like,
I don't believe you when you say these things.
I used to do this on Vanderpump all the fucking time.
My point being,
it's not that serious.
It's not that big of a deal.
I like the Lala in the scenes that we've gotten her up to this point.
I think she's done just fine.
I think that if that's her route this season,
great.
She was able to say to Janet,
episode one, can you acknowledge that you were part of the problem?
So on and so forth.
Right.
She's navigating the group.
Well, she has seemed to kind of settle in.
Great.
I'm not saying she's not going to be a problem on the show.
I don't know yet.
But when she does stuff like this, I'm like, ah, only because it's a call back to the
la la, la, old.
And that makes me nervous.
No, it's totally fair.
I think that's part of what I was expecting from her.
Okay.
And the fact that she did that didn't really phase me.
It's, look, you're going to have.
I roll moments when it comes to Lala.
I can handle an eye roll moment.
That's okay.
You're right.
That's kind of where my classification of that type of behavior is.
Okay.
It's the forcing of narratives, which later when she's forcing, not forcing, but pushing
together Janet and you get a talk, that's not even what I'm talking about either.
It's the forcing of a narrative.
It's, you know, popping off and, you know, trying to be a big tough guy, which is what she's doing in
DPR.
Yeah, like all of that shit.
I don't care for those things.
This is what you're going to get with Lala.
And again, I think it's an interesting choice to make her a full-time guest member.
I'm still going to say that we're going to have to take it as it goes.
I'm not going to get upset when she does stuff like this, though, because this is what we're expecting.
I roll a moment.
You're right.
I'll try to chalk it up to that when those little ones happen.
And like, it has nothing to do with like, I could give a shit if she went and had a
quickie with the lifeguard.
It's more so she makes these statements.
I'm like, I don't think that's who you really are.
I'd be surprised.
I'd be surprised.
shock value. If she had a quickie with the lifeguard, I'd be shocked.
Yes, same.
Because she always claims that she wants to do that or she would do that.
If she actually followed through on something that she was claiming she was going to do,
I'd be so shocked.
Oh, God. Remember the honey guy?
Yeah, dude.
The bees. Oh, fuck.
Sticky honey.
Oh, stop it. Yeah, it's really, really sticky.
You don't know how to dirty talk, sir.
This is weird.
Sticky, sweaty.
Yeah, sweat.
Let's go upstairs.
I hated that.
God, that gives me the hebe-jeebies.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't go digging.
You don't want to watch that scene.
Was that PPR was that valley?
I can't remember.
I think it was in the valley.
I think it was last year on the valley or two years ago.
It might have been season one in the valley.
I think it was.
It doesn't matter.
Don't look it up, everybody.
Seriously.
What, the dawn.
The dawn.
The, the, fuck.
Yes.
Yeah, that was it.
That is the type of behavior that I'm talking about.
If that comes up, I will fast forward.
I'm just telling everybody now, including you, if that comes up, I'm skipping.
Right.
Yeah. It's fair.
That's fair.
I don't need to hear Honey talk again.
Nope.
But Michelle and Schwartz are genuinely hitting it off.
Like their chemistry is on deny.
Is it awkward?
Sure.
Is it real?
Yeah.
It really is because they're just like giggling back and forth.
They're smiling.
And Schwartz is going to his confession.
Like, yeah, she's kind of a baddie.
She's kind of a milf.
And then the producer's like, oh, what do you mean?
It's like, okay, buddy.
It's fucking germ.
It had to be.
Jermaine fucking dick.
But Doty and Brittany are talking.
And this is where you get the line from,
from Brittany,
where it's like,
well,
Zach went in on me.
It's like,
what?
That's the route we're going?
He went in on you for trying to be a good friend.
Mm,
okay.
Boo,
tomato, tomato.
Come on.
But the real conversation is Jasmine and Janet.
Again,
pointing to what I was talking about earlier.
The only issue was not with Danny and Nia.
There were issues across the entire group last year,
Jasmine being one of them because Janet felt the need to keep inserting herself
into a situation involving Jasmine,
even though Jasmine and her wife or fiancé had decided to move on from it.
Janet could not.
She was like a dog with a bone, would not stop.
Janet tries to take the route of, hey, wanted to talk to you.
Things haven't been 100%.
You mean a lot to me.
And I apologize for speaking on stuff.
I wasn't involved in.
And I was like,
I don't believe you,
but fine,
fine.
If we can get to a cordial place,
whatever,
that's fine with me.
I love that Jasmine's keeping her guard up.
She's like,
yeah,
you know,
it's really not the time
or the place.
You know,
it's just maybe we can have this,
it's a much bigger conversation
we need to have.
And that's what I love about Jasmine.
She's not going to sugarcoat things.
She's like,
if there's an issue,
like we're going to handle this issue,
we're not going to do it right now,
but we will talk about it.
I love you,
go by.
Janet doubles down.
And she's like,
look,
just didn't realize at the time, like why I was so mad and I just started therapy.
Third therapy reference already.
Pouring it on real thick.
I was using a lot of words with the intention to hurt last year.
So this year, I'm working on communicating without using hurtful language.
Jasmine's response, I had a funeral for you in my head.
You were dead to me pretty much, which I love this.
And she says it so softly.
I'm like, you just really told her that you said it killed her off.
Super softly and then really hammered at home by saying, you know, we were so close.
We were such good friends.
I was thinking about you at my wedding.
And then I had to think about you not at my wedding.
And I'm like, wow, that's kind of crazy that I'm going to have a wedding.
And Janet's not going to be there.
That's where Janet turns.
This is what I'm talking about with Janet.
She's trying all this bullshit.
She's trying all this soft speak, this therapy speak to try to get back into good graces of people,
not because she really wants to be friends with them, but,
because she wants to be in a better standing for the show.
Now, I had to be quickly reminded because right after this conversation, she goes over
and she's talking to Michelle.
And I'm like, oh, wait, you're cool with Lala and Michelle.
You don't need to be friends with everybody.
You could just do this.
And this goes back to what we tell Janet all the time.
If you're going to be a villain, you're going to have a much more, a much more fun time on
this show.
Being an actual villain.
Like, there's no reason to try to build these bridges back and try to get back in the good
graces of people when you're inevitably going to turn on them eventually.
And that's just what you're going to do.
Like just lean into being a villain.
You'll be more entertaining.
But the end of the conversation, this is where you see your turn.
Because right when Jasmine says, I have to imagine you not at my wedding anymore.
And that's kind of crazy to me.
Well, I look, you know, going back to that comment on the beat.
I mean, like, you just made a lot of comments about me that really hurt me.
So like, do you ever think about like maybe we could apologize for that?
No.
Absolutely.
the fuck not. Absolutely not. What are we doing here? You're you have way more to make up for than she does. And the fact that you're now pivoting because she said you're not coming to the wedding anymore to I think you owe me an apology is crazy work. Again, if you're going to if you're going to do that, just lean into it. Just keep doing it and keep doing bad things and keep like talking behind people's backs. I just, I just remembered who was at that fucking.
party too.
Pink boots, Jared.
I know, dude.
No, Jared's the friend.
I thought the same thing.
Pink boots was a different guy,
but that was his cronies.
I'm pretty sure.
I think Jared had the pink boots on.
I'm almost positive.
I think it was somebody.
I don't think it really matters because they're,
they just morph.
I assume that they're like two guys that just kind of like morph in and out of each
other.
But I think Jared was pink boots.
I thought Jared was friend of pink boots.
If you remember,
correctly and while Steele's looking this up because he needs to know.
Yeah, I'll be crazy.
If you remember correctly, Jared was the friends that not only was talking shit with Janet and
then decided when I believe it was Janet decided to call who was. Oh, when she was calling
Zach, she decided to call Zach, put him on speakerphone and Jared was snickering in the
backgrounds. Jared was also the one who was at the party when he found out and everybody
who wasn't invited to the baby moon found out that they were coming.
Jared was then gauging everybody's reaction and reporting back to Janet.
Jared has no place on this show.
Why is he even allowed to be there?
We should have, again, this goes back to Jeremiah.
If the release form goes out, no to Jared.
That should be a very simple no.
Brings nothing to the show and he's just not a good person.
So I was correct.
Simon was pink boots or crook of shit boots as Zach calls him.
Jared was his crony.
and they were doing the same shenanigans,
but the pink boots scene was Simon reporting back.
But yes,
Jared is 100% in cahoots with them.
And yeah,
I was so pissed when I was like,
why the fuck is this guy on the show?
That is an awful idea,
Jermaine.
Way to go.
You're going to ruin another show.
But yeah,
watching her pivot to actually,
you hurt my feelings.
Let's go back to that scene then, Janet.
Let's see how we got there.
You were the problem.
You set Jasmine off.
Jasmine clocked you because it was building up for a long time.
And then you and Jason decided to double teamer.
Like that's what we watched.
So no, even if Jasmine said something that was over the line, given your behavior and also
just given where you stand with the entire group, just concede.
Just say sorry, you lunatic.
Like that was the funniest moment for me because it immediately, and I didn't believe
the therapy shit anyway, it immediately discredits all of that.
It immediately shows you she is the same person.
She just took a different tactic this year.
And in episode two faltered, which is you got to almost respect the delusion in that.
But I agree with you.
All the therapy is coming apart at the scenes.
Like back to what you said, just be the villain.
Just do it.
Like we would be so much more on your team.
in certain situations if you were just a huge asshole.
That's fine.
Shows need that too.
But you can't play the role of back and forth, back and forth.
Therapy, go.
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Fuck yourself.
It's exhausting.
Yeah, agreed.
But while they're all over there, I think it's a start.
Did Zach not get the invite?
Are him and Lala not cool?
And then Jesse didn't get.
I know she,
I know Lala doesn't like Jesse,
but Zach getting omitted from the party,
I thought was kind of funny.
Yeah,
Zach getting omitted was kind of funny.
That could just be really anything.
I mean,
is it.
Oh,
wait a minute.
Yeah,
probably is Jared.
Maybe that's the connection.
Could be that connection.
That would make a ton of sense.
But yeah,
the scene that we got with the two of them sitting down,
they were kind of bonding over the fact that they weren't invited.
So I, I'm assuming,
but we didn't get an actual answer.
I'm sure we'll be.
able to figure it out over the next couple of episodes just to kind of watch the interactions
between la la and zack if there are any and we'll be able to see exactly what that is but yeah i mean
i guess it doesn't need to be if jesse's left out we need somebody else left out let them go hang
out during this so we can get a side-by-side see what we need up i do also i enjoy their
friendship i like their scenes together they're always entertaining i don't think you could pay me to
go drink at a bar right to sit in an airplane seat like that's insane
That bar looks.
I love a gimmicky bar.
I really,
really do.
I especially love a gimmick drink.
That bar looks so stupid.
That was the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
Hey,
you know that feeling it had crammed into a fucking soda can,
30,000 feet in the air?
Why don't you pay to come drinking one?
No.
What you should do is let's do like a 1950s style aviation bar.
Now we're talking.
And then you can smoke indoors.
Like, do that.
Come on.
I'm in.
I don't smoke.
cigarettes, but I'll go crank a heater in one of those.
Fuck yeah. But they're
talking about Lacey, and
this is going to be a
fucking disaster at some point. I already
know it. Like, the way that Jesse talks about
it is as though he has found the love
of his life, his long-lost love of 10
years ago. She was 23.
I was 30. We texted all day, every day.
We reconnected after 10 years. And I feel, what he's
saying right now, by the way, I feel like
we're equals and intellect. He's calling Michelle
stupid. She's not smart
enough to talk to me. Lacey is.
is. Okay, Jess. But this whole idea that Lacey is this just wonderful person that's trying so
hard to to unite this modern family and Michelle is just this big speed bump that won't get
out of the way. No, I don't believe you. I don't believe it's this cordial at all. She
hit your ex with a cease and desist letter over nothing. So no, I don't. I don't believe.
think she's suddenly like this. Oh, she's so easy, breezy. She's awesome. She's the love of my life
and the light of the world. This is, this is expected behavior. This is exactly how I thought this was
going to go. We're going to get so many scenes of the two of them that seem very forced like the dinner
that we have later in the episode. Oh, I hated the dinner. I hated it. And it's all just to paint her
as not that big of a deal, not that big of a threat. She's a sweet girl. She would never do anything
trying to make up for the season's assistance and all the other things that we heard off camera
from last season. It's all just making up. Let's just try to get into a better light. We'll try to
do this. And look, Jesse's in a good position. It seems like everybody on the cast, obviously,
aside for Michelle, Janet, they all like them. Everybody seems to be fine with him. Lala is a
non-factor. He's in a good spot. So he's in a good spot to do this, to bring her on like this.
It's going to hit the fan at some point. It doesn't really matter because eventually you are going to
have to have scenes where Lacey's sitting down with somebody else and she's going to have to
talk about this.
She's going to have to have an actual interaction with somebody who's going to ask her real questions.
It's all going to blow up.
Oh, yeah.
And it's going to blow up in tremendous fashion.
And then you're going to see Lacey.
Then you're going to get the mask peeled back and really understand who she is, I think.
And, you know, I don't like to rush to judgment.
But based on the dinner scene alone and the cease and desist and the other stuff we heard last
season. I have an idea. I'm not going to confirm it yet. I'll wait and see because I'm,
I'm a fair judge of character. I like to think, but I think I have her pegged. We'll see in
time. Jesse also co-signs Michelle and Schwartz in this moment. Again, it's in a very condescending
way. But for me, that's enough. It's it's the doors open. I want to see those two do whatever
they're going to do. But let's get back to Lala's. And even in this, like,
you know,
Luke even saying to Schwartz,
like,
we point before the party.
It's like I just,
like I just stopped talking about sex,
dude.
Like just for one scene.
Every scene that Luke has been on,
he has been discussing sex.
I know.
And it's almost like,
like I wanted to reach through the screen
because that's,
you just keep it to yourself.
Like this isn't like a full circle moment.
Like,
hey,
we finally banged.
Like,
if Schwartz had,
this conversation and him and Michelle were like,
will they, won't they? Will they? Won't they?
And then eventually sits down and was like, yeah, we hooked up last night.
That's that type of scene.
You sitting down and telling other people like,
hey, we finally had sex, like, no, it makes me feel icky.
It makes me feel like Kristen gave in to you because you wouldn't shut the fuck up about it.
And that makes me feel weird.
Yep, it makes me feel yucky and I don't care for it.
And I would also like to see one scene in which you're not talking about sex.
Yeah.
Just one.
Fingers crossed.
Maybe next episode we'll see.
but Nia and Lala are talking.
And I don't mind this role for Lala if she wants to take this on,
especially in this fashion where she's kind of neutral.
She's like, hey, I just want to find level ground for you and Janet.
Like a lot of damage has been done.
But another thing is, and this is a great question from Nia,
is it really to try to get along again?
Or is Janet just fed up with feeling uncomfortable in a group setting?
Because that's not an apology either.
And it's 100% the latter as we're going to.
going to find out very shortly. But that's, that was the best way to put it because that's
intentions. What are her intentions? And you know what they are. Nia, she's smart. She knows what's
going on. But she is also a classy lady. So she's like, yes, I'll have a conversation with her.
Bring her out. Fala goes against Janet brings her back. Shortest conversation ever.
The weirdest fucking conversation I have ever seen because Janet once again and she's trying to do it in a
disarming way puts the onus on Nia.
Is there anything that you want to get off your chest?
No, dude.
Nope.
No.
There's a million things you have to say to me.
I don't have to say shit to you.
Well, it was coded in a way that Lala set it up by saying, hey, you know, don't jump on her.
Just hear her out.
See what she has to say.
Now, Lala, that made me think that Lala talked to Nia and said, hey, would you be interested
in having a conversation with Janet?
you have things to get off your chest that you want to tell her.
And Nia said yes.
Now, I don't really fault Lala for this because I think that going into it,
she's like, oh my God, like they agreed to have a conversation together.
That's cool.
Let's see what happens.
And I'm sure Nia has some things to say to Janet.
So, hey, hear her out.
Like that's a normal way to speak to somebody who has issues with somebody else that you're
setting up for a conversation.
Not really Lala's fault.
Nia had nothing to say.
She wanted to actually see what Janet was going to say.
Like, fine, I'll be the adult in the room.
I'll be the bigger person.
Come on over.
have your conversation, see where that goes.
I'm actually a little interested to hear what you have to say.
Janet didn't really have anything to say.
She was hoping that Nia was going to do all the talking,
and then she could apologize and then hope to get an apology in return.
Again, too far gone.
Same situation with Jasmine.
We just watched two different conversations.
Jasmine spoke a little bit more than Nia did.
Actually, a lot more than Nia did because Nia didn't say a word,
but she thought going into this like, all right, cool, we're bridging the gap.
We can have a conversation.
is how we're going to communicate moving forward.
I find out what you're feeling.
You find out what I'm feeling.
She quickly realizes, no, it's too far gone.
It's over.
But this is when Janet becomes Janet,
because she immediately runs back in,
tells Lala right away,
and then pulls Jared into the bathroom to have a conversation.
Like, I guess, you know,
it's just too far gone.
She can't say anything to me.
Like, nope, nope, nope, nope, there's the mask,
completely slipping off.
And again, we're telling you, let the mask fall.
Go be that person.
I don't care what you do.
but it's better than this.
I mean,
yeah,
obviously it's a little funny
to watch,
but it's way better than this.
It was crazy.
And then when she went
and got Jared,
first of all,
it's just,
since we're doing the therapy thing,
what that scene told me,
Nia's protecting her peace.
She's doing the work.
And she knows how to handle this.
Janet,
the one proclaiming therapy,
is not doing the work.
And it shows in this moment
because she's not able to formulate a sentence
in which you can say, hey, a lot of shit happened last year.
I'm sorry for X, Y, or Z.
You didn't know what to say.
So instead, you take this moment, spin it, take your buddy Jared, who we do not need on
this show.
Jared needs to be gone immediately and take pink boots with you.
But you go to Jared and you say, she stared and nodded.
If the conversation goes below the surface, she doesn't want to talk about it.
You didn't present anything to go below the surface.
You didn't do anything.
And now you're going to try to paint it as though once again,
what was me Janet they're not talking to me why though dude why why why are we not talking to you
fucking take your head out of your ass for two seconds and and just understand i was at least happy
to see when nia comes walking in and she's like i i got to go pump let me go find a bathroom
goes right in walks in janet actually said oh come in come on in which is so fucking funny but
when nia goes and she's walking around she's like all right i'm going to pull dandy in here because
i got to let him know what the hell's going on i was worried that that nia was
actually like putting up a front when she was talking to Janet and she was actually going
to sit down and be like, it's just so sad.
I'm breaking down.
Like, no, they were laughing.
And look, I don't even care about talking about Danny because I don't really care what
he has to say.
But Nia, I was worried that she was actually putting up, but she wasn't.
She really genuinely does not care.
That's where she is.
She's protecting her peace.
She's not going to let Janet gets to her.
That's awesome.
That's what I want to see.
That's what I want your response to be.
It was the weirdest conversation ever.
I didn't say a word.
She clearly didn't want to say anything.
She wanted to hear me out.
That's not how this is going to go.
So I'm going to move forward with my life.
That's exactly what I want from that.
Unbothered.
If everybody can remain unbothered while talking to Janet, like we saw Jasmine do, like we saw
Nia do, it's going to drive her insane.
And it may very well push her to that villain role that we so desperately want her to take
on.
Because that's the only possible way that she's going to be likable in any way, shape, or form.
And I say that with a grain of salt.
But let's go check in with the ball buddies because,
Danny and Zach are on the way to get snipped.
Danny again, like, the more he talks, the less I need him to talk at this juncture.
I don't even want to talk about Danny at all.
Like, this is, this was the scene, by the way, that really solidified it.
And obviously the end of the episode.
Oh, the end of the scenes are solidified it for me.
The end of this scene is what solidified it.
The end of the episode.
Yeah.
No, this was where I'm at.
Like, we started the episode.
We went through episode one.
I kind of had that feeling.
I'm like, I don't care.
Like you're just trying to make jokes.
Yeah.
And like, I don't want to hear it because like you're not funny.
And Zach even says it like he's his biggest fan.
He laughs at everything.
The doctor gets in on it like, okay.
And then it's more of like a.
The doctor was wild.
But then it's more of like, are you doing this for yourself?
Are you doing this for damn?
Well, you know, I wanted to have another kid.
But she's not into it.
So like I don't know.
And we get like a glimpse of him talking about like, I'm not going to be able to
like again,
I'm not going to be able to have sex for a couple of days.
I'm not going to be able to do anything for a couple of days.
Is this going to hurt?
And then he just makes a ton of jokes.
I'm like, no, I don't want any more from you.
I want nothing more from you.
Also, given what went down last season and some of the rumors and accusations thrown around,
do you really want to be sitting there making these kinds of jokes?
No.
Really a good look for you to be like, well, who's going to take care of my wife after the 35th time?
She's going to be a wheelchair, doc.
Yeah.
Dude, like, no, what?
That's not even a funny.
And two, ew, the gross.
Like, he's making dirty old man jokes.
And again, that makes me think, like, you have a reputation.
Maybe don't confirm the reputation with weird jokes.
And, hey, Doc, let's not comment on his balls, maybe.
Yeah, they are really big.
No, no.
Nope.
Nope.
Absolutely not.
I was Zach in that scene, because he's just making faces.
And I felt that.
Now let's get to the most uncomfortable dinner I've seen in a long time.
We get Lacey and Jesse and I don't even really understand what happened in the beginning.
She got ambushed by a psychic named Lola who had something dire to tell her.
And, you know, people think she's boozy.
And she's like, I like to play the reverse uno, the bougie card.
I'm not like that, but I am that.
She literally says she's both things in the same sentence.
Then she starts to talk about her house.
And then I figured out their relationship.
He's a cuckled.
He likes it because she just shits on him.
And he's like, yeah, I love you.
Thank you.
I love you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
The whole scene was that for me.
That's exactly what I thought about this whole scene.
And again, it kind of furthered my point of he's trying to paint her into the nicest possible
picture.
Don't do that because we're going to find out eventually.
And look, she might be that.
She might not be that.
I don't really care.
I want to watch it unfold.
And she's not that.
It's just pushing me in the other direction.
But yeah,
the whole conversation is like,
it's supposed to give us a glimpse into what they want for their futures.
And I actually did like that Lacey was saying,
like,
as I if I have a,
you know,
I have a child and in there,
she said adolescent,
which was wrong because I think her kid's like three years old.
Do you have a toddler?
Adolescent is like,
yeah,
whatever.
But she said,
yeah,
as long as I have an adolescent child,
I'm not going to live with a man.
I'm like,
okay.
That kind of makes sense.
Like, that's fair.
And I do understand, like, grounded wise in your family.
You have a child.
He has a child.
Like, yeah, this is how you should be dating.
It makes sense.
It's a little wonky that you live all the way down in OC and you're coming up to
LA to film, to stay with him, to do whatever you want.
But all I really got from that part of it, the family part of it was it seems like
you're, I don't know if she has a daughter or a son.
It didn't really.
She had one of those ambiguous names for her kid that I couldn't really figure out.
But it seems like their kids get along.
They have their own language.
It seems like they're bullying.
the parents, which is funny.
So it does seem like their relationship is good, at the very least.
I'm okay with all of that.
It's just all the bullshit that comes along with it where I'm like, dude, just no,
let her be yourself and you be yourself.
Stop being this weird version of Jesse.
Go back to being your normal Jesse self, which is going to come out eventually because
it's going to get exhausting to put up this front.
Yeah, this weird sniffling, wormy, Jesse.
I do not care for.
Like in, what's the word?
I can't even think of right now, second episode of the night.
but back to back to back sentences.
There's a house next year's for rent.
That's out of your price range.
I'm a little click.
You're super clingy.
I'm extremely happy with you, Lacey.
And you know what?
I'm going to try to take down my complaining,
my defensiveness and stupidity.
It's not stupidity.
It's lack of self-awareness.
So she said all of these things to this man.
And instead of being like,
hey, that's kind of mean, he's like, ha, ha.
I love a talk like that to me.
I love it when you put me in my place.
That's what I really need.
And like, yeah, I weirdly get what he means.
I mean, she is very different from Michelle, it seems.
And she's going to tell you when you're wrong, which maybe you do need somebody like that.
But maybe I think you'll tell you when you're wrong when you're not wrong.
Yeah, that's true too.
But the way he's going about it just feels weird.
I don't like it.
It made me feel like he.
He's trying to relate to her and everything.
And she's not giving the same energy.
He's like, I love you very much.
Thank you.
Thanks.
And then she says, I swear I'm really nice and loving.
You want to kiss me?
No, I love you.
Thank you.
Look, again, if it didn't feel so manufactured, I'd be like, all right, that's like,
everybody's got a weird, quirky relationship.
We deal with this all the time.
We talk about relationships.
Some of them make no sense to us, but we can tell that you guys love each other.
When you do that, if you just did that in a nutshell and it was a very weird scene,
we'd have a couple of questions, but it would be like, okay, like, yeah, maybe it works for you guys.
Great.
When you're adding all of these other layers on top of it.
it trying to make her this person that she's not and trying to make yourself this person that
you're not, it makes it weird.
And now we have even more questions and don't just don't go about it that way because I don't
want that.
I like Jesse.
I love Jesse sometimes.
Just be yourself.
It's weird.
I don't like watching it.
I don't like it.
It makes me feel weird.
I just don't like it.
There's too many scenes in this show right now that are just making me feel like not, like not fun,
uncomfortable.
It's like, ooh, that's weird.
It's like straight up.
I'm uncomfortable right now.
I don't want to be.
Agreed.
Oh, boy.
Well, Michelle and Schwartz go on a date, even though Michelle says it's not a date, but there's definitely a date.
And they go to a one of those salt caves that we've seen in the past and uh,
seen this salt cave in the past.
Is it this one?
Okay.
Yeah.
Sure.
I don't.
Yeah, I was in LA.
You're right.
There was one in Salt Lake City too.
That makes sense.
You know, so totally.
Hey.
But anyway, they're a little sound bath in there and they're, they're really connecting.
And I, if there's one thing I can say for Schwartz, he is good at listening.
you know, like we've seen him in this role many times with many different people.
And, you know, Michelle has been through a lot.
Her mom passed away last year.
As we know, it was, it was part of the season.
It was very sad.
And she also was going through this terrible divorce with Jesse.
And you got Schwartz over here who's on the tail end of the Schwartz and Sandy and Scandival
and all of that crazy shit.
So there's a lot that they need to work out in this, in this salt room.
I love that we're seeing Emerald Eagle.
screaming. That's awesome. I think he might have taken a little something before he went in that salt
room, but that's fine with me. And then you got Michelle who's like completely buying into this whole
thing. You know, it's like so healing, the energy's bouncing up the walls. And yes, I know I sound crazy right now.
That's all I need. I need the self-awareness and I'm cool. I'm like, all right, at least you know that
sounds a little wacky. But when they get done their sound bath, they're just talking back and forth.
And Tom is talking a little bit more about his family, as we know through the years, his
family's kind of a strange dynamic, you know, his brothers.
And then his dad, his dad's currently living alone.
He's got like a brain bleed right now.
Meanwhile, Michelle is talking about her mom and watching her pass away and that she's just
barely surviving right now.
She's still not okay.
She's like breaking down and crying while she's driving, crying before bed.
All this is telling me is that these two are a great rebound for each other.
And they just need to go have some fun.
Is they should get married because it works.
No.
What do you mean?
We just watched Jesse and Lacey have a very weird conversation.
Yeah.
Actually dating and talking about futures.
These two should be well past them.
These two should be two years into their relationship.
It makes total sense to me.
And look, I fully support it.
I don't support the sound bath and all the other stuff.
But I support this, that's for sure.
Yeah.
You know, in the end of it, too.
I was like, come on, Schwartz, make a move.
I know.
Because she was like.
It made me upset, though.
I know.
You got make a move from that.
What do you mean?
And she was like, whoever, yo, you got, oh, I see what I see how you got there.
I understand how I didn't take it that way, but I see how you got there.
I'm so excited the next time I get to kiss somebody.
Who's it going to be?
No, see, I took it the complete opposite.
I took it as like, who's that going to be?
Not you.
If she said that, she wouldn't have made it.
The eye contact tells me that she was talking to him.
She was pretty fucking weird.
You can't tell me after they both talk about their feelings, talk about their emotions,
talk about sex, and then they get to the point of talking about smooching,
that she wouldn't have been like, come on over here and give me a smooch, pal.
No, I took it as a full-blown friend zone.
Oh, I didn't think so at all.
I'm going to go ahead and put this out to the audience.
You guys let us know in the comments.
That actually adds up perfectly for these two.
We have no idea how to make heads or tails.
Obviously, shorts would be into it.
But with Michelle, who is at sometimes very robotic and very confusing.
and Schwartz, who sometimes I don't know if he's being real or if he's acting,
this makes total sense that we don't know.
I know, but let's put it out to the other put out to you guys.
You tell us in the comments if you think that she wanted Schwartz to make a move or if she was
friends owning Schwartz.
I'm curious to see what you have to say.
But I guess we've got to talk about this.
Yeah.
I also forgot that the Valley is like a darker show, you know, I forget that aspect.
of it where they really lean into like shit that makes you uncomfortable yeah and i don't think that
that doesn't have longevity i think they're going to have to pivot away from making us feel weird all
the time like it just you can't carry like the first season it was just like whoa what are we
watching right now last year was just so tumultuous with jacks i need to feel differently moving
forward because yeah i just feel gross and this scene didn't help at all because
Danny and Neer talking and she's like, how was the doctor?
He's like, oh, I like them a lot.
But did you know, I have to ejaculate 35 times, period.
It's like, or you wait six weeks.
Can we not add that one in there?
We're just going to say straight up that you have to come 35 times.
Yeah, but he's also saying like the doctor told me I can't even move for like 10 days.
I'm not going to be able to pick up the kids.
I thought that was like a joke.
I wasn't sure he's hard to read.
Dude, he's hard to read, but like he's annoying.
And I just, I don't like him.
I simply do not like him as a person.
I agree.
And this scene kind of,
this is the one that nailed that one home for me because he is talking and
he is really talking, right?
Like she's in a confessional saying that she loves the house.
But she feels really isolated and removed from her friends.
Obviously, Doty and her daughter are very close in age.
So it would be really nice to bop over and hang out with her.
She doesn't have that anymore.
It took her two hours to get home the other day.
Stop to feed the kid, this, that, the other.
And she's talking and really opening up to Danny saying, like, you know, I want to give my all to the kids.
But like, you know, meanwhile, this new baby's not taking a bottle.
I've never dealt with that before.
Life with four kids.
The house is always a mess.
My nervous system's a mess.
I got to clean up the house before bed.
I got to work.
All this other shit.
Like, it's just a lot.
It's a lot on my shoulders.
Real shit.
Real conversation.
Hey, help me.
Spouse.
Danny's response.
Just focus on what's important.
all the love making on the calendar
I started to put together
fuck you in the face pal
I hated that was the worst
I was like dude she's breaking down in front of you
she is literally saying to you
I'm on the verge of a burnout
I'm overwhelmed and I need help and your response is
I can't wait to bang later
fuck you I like any
good will I had
towards Danny which was not a lot
is gone entirely
that was so shit dude
yeah and it was also like
it was just again it was a very consistent episode but uh it was it was a shitty way to end the episode
it's like all right really like come on i hope the audience feels the same way i our audience is cool
they always get the they're on the right side of history this is a funny one uh when we get some
questions here for uh jacqueline michel crest is jason purpose purposely purposely being edited out i'm
cool with it i fucking hope so i hope so he's all he is he is
So bland, even when he's on the show.
And, yeah, last season, I need no more Jason on my screen.
Yeah.
Uh, Rachel Nicholas, Scooby is the name of Shooter's dog.
Sure is.
Great boy.
Scooby-Doo.
Scooby-Doo.
Here we go.
Thank you.
Leah Hall 90.
What the actual fuck, Danny.
Is this the real hammer for the cameras?
It doesn't matter.
The real him.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter, but this is probably the real him.
Blah.
makeup laughs
are the same thing.
Why is no one telling
Luke and Danny
to not pressure
their wives for sex?
We don't know,
but we're yelling it over here.
Maybe they can hear us
to the microphone.
Stop it.
From Taye Kessner,
on a scale of 1 to 10,
how annoyed was shooter
during the sound bath scene.
I mean,
sound baths are always,
you're going to catch me
on a 10 no matter what.
However,
Schwartz and Michelle are very interesting people.
So it did take away a little bit,
but it's still an absolute 10.
I will never deviate from that.
Uh,
Oh, this is actually really funny from Colie Marie 1.
Why is Janet dressed like a zookeeper?
And also do you like Lacey?
Holding out judgment for Lacey, but they're setting her up very weirdly and
being Jesse and Lacey.
But Janet is dressed like a zookeeper because she sucks.
I don't have anything else to say about that.
She's brutal and I don't think Lacey's going to be a nice person, but time will tell.
Let's see.
This could be anybody from 77 Carebear 44.
or sigh, why the hell is blah blah on our screens again?
She's already trying to start shit and I hate it.
I'm assuming it's Janet, but that could be anybody.
Come on, dude.
I know it's a second episode.
We'll put your thinking.
Oh, yeah.
Also, my girlfriend in the background just yelled la la,
sorry.
Who the fuck is this?
Well, the funny thing is a la la I also don't think
try to start shit this episode, but it is funny.
I think that's just the base level for everybody.
in the audience watching her.
Mikey White, do we think Neo was justified and not taking the bait to air her grievances with Janet?
No, absolutely justified.
She doesn't know Janet shit.
No.
Yeah.
Janet is the one that has to take all of the onus and answer for last season.
Again, you can take the Danny part out of it.
She had issues with everybody.
She had issued the Nia stemming from other shit.
Like, she was a train wreck last year.
So she needs to get on her knees and beg for forgiveness.
Oh, did we ask this one?
Jay Bay the Hut, 713?
No.
Will Schwartz be the number one guy in the group?
Zach's still there.
Zach's number one in the group.
Jesse for me is number two still.
I think Zach's got a firm hold on number one.
I mean, Schwartz is ahead of Luke right now for sure.
Oh, yeah.
Schwartz is doing fine.
Schwartz is doing completely fine.
Schwartz is exactly what we thought Schwartz was going to be.
Yep.
RMEB-124 is Danny the most popular.
of all the Bravo husbands.
I say yes,
that last scene was brutal.
Yes.
Right now.
Yeah.
Right now.
But yeah,
right now he definitely is.
Yeah.
I mean,
that's a very,
very fluid list.
But today,
yes.
Today he is the most tangible.
Oh,
and here we go.
We can end on this
because this is confirmation
from R.N.
Lays,
that's the same salt room
from the valley Persian style
with Gigi and Rzaa.
There we go.
Thank you.
Thank you.
We needed that.
We love a full circle moment.
Thank you so much.
So yeah, I mean, question marks, right?
Lots of question marks of where this show is going to go.
There's pieces here to make it good.
Like it still has the cast that can perform.
It's just more, I hate doing this already.
But I'm going to point at Jermaine and say,
where are we pointing the storylines of season?
What are we aiming for?
Because as of right now, no one cares about the shit that's currently happening.
I'm sorry, I don't at least.
And are we once again highlight?
It, oh, God, it's so germane-coded.
All these Jeremiah moments are like,
we're highlighting these shitty dudes and their shitty dude behavior.
Again, it's like he's got a fucking boner for, for fuckboys.
Yep.
Oh, damn that, dude.
He should have gone away with Jacks,
but we'll see, everybody.
I went into this episode thinking,
oh, it was pretty good second episode.
I'm leaving this review as not nearly as confident.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Welcome to the club, pal.
Yeah.
You said before it was a good second episode.
Then we started talking about it.
I didn't say good.
I never once said good.
No, all the tape.
It's not good, nor is it bad.
Never good, never bad.
It's always, I'm going to go back right there.
Check the film.
But whatever you want.
I am going to do whatever I want.
You're not my dad.
Pick boots.
You're not mad at me.
You're mad at you.
You're already to hate my father.
That's all I got.
You got anything else?
Nope.
That's our show, Rob,
bro's are out of here. For eight years, we've been asking the same question over and over again.
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We bring you the facts, but with warmth and width, you'd only get from two friends who
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Join us for new episodes of Moms and Mysteries every Tuesday and Thursday.
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