Bros & Shows - Jax Loses His Hair, Jesse Loses His Cool (The Valley Full Recap)

Episode Date: April 26, 2024

What's up Bros?! In this weeks episode of the Valley, things are really starting to heat up. Jax brings Brittany into the bar so that she can finally give her input, although we think the only reason he did that was so that he could move the opening day up for football season... Meanwhile, Doute and Luke are still being cryptic about Michelle's secrets that could blow up her whole spot. Jesse tells Jax he'll be shocked if they make it even two more months without a divorce. Things heat up at Jax's mens hair growth product launch when they sit down to dinner. Doute is still on her moral high ground and starts calling out Jesse who is clearly in a mood. He lets us know that apparently his marriage coach had told him that his marriage is basically over. Jesse snaps and goes in on Doute. Things escalate waayyyyy too far as he starts to get aggressive and Luke steps in. Jesse ends up fighting his way through the masses in an attempt to get to Luke. This show is volatile, dramatic, and gosh darn-it it is GREAT TV. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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And so that'll make it a... I don't need the spotlight. I shine just fine. Hi, I'm karma. And yes, I am a bitch. Brov Bros. Good evening, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Bravo Bros, your favorite podcast from the Bros for everybody. For whoever wants to listen, I am your co-host, St. Russell, joined as always.

is by the one and only patronizing Magoutes. Quit smiling at me. Well, if you're listening to this and you listen to VPR first, you'll got mad at me because I was... Actually, that probably didn't even make the air, did it? No, I didn't. You were on your phone because you do this thing where, like, you're on your phone up until I do the intro,

and then you put it down and look up. And I've mentioned your phone to you many times. Our commenters have. You know my teacher? Just put the phone down. Have some respect for your coworker. How do you have some respect for my screen addiction, pal? Fuck your screen.

whoa yeah yeah you're struggling over here you need to you need to lift me up how wow you're going to play the addiction narrative with me like it would hit home right jesus christ welcome to our friendship but um yeah we just got done recording our vpr episode and we are much more excited to talk about this show the valley because who to thunk i didn't have this on my bingo car that the valley would become one of my favorite shows on bravo and outperforming Vanderpump, it's parent show. Who to thunk? Parent show. Yeah, parent show. Yeah, I guess that kind of makes sense, but here we are, and we're excited to talk about it,

and we are certainly not hate watching any of it, and honestly, the best parts about VPR were when Jacks was over on VPR. So, here we go. I guess let's, uh, you want to just jump into it? Yeah, I do want to say real quick, our live show is coming up very soon. It is next Friday, May 3rd in D.C. at Union Stage. We have Candice Dillard coming out. We have Chris Bassett coming out. And we have Ryan Bailey coming out. So go to our Instagram. The link is in the bio. Get some tickets. Come hang out with the pros. Candice, Chris, and Ryan. It's going to be an awesome night. So we will see you in D.C. But without further ado, let's get into the valley. And overall, this show is firing on a lot of different cylinders.

and I am enjoying it. You got a lot of very interesting characters on this show. You get a lot of different types. Like, there's a lot of different people. Yeah, a lot of sex talk between Kristen and Luke. A lot of sex talk. Well, let's jump right in because we start out with pregnancy talk. So they're talking about pregnancy.

Sex talk adjacent. It somehow made it. That's what I mean. They're starting out by talking about their journey to try to get pregnant. And you know, the negative test is disheartening, which, of course, you know, that's got to be tough to see. But they're still trying. and they're taking premarital counseling so that they can make sure they're in a good place.

I do like that they're very proactive in their relationship, at least. Well, I like that they're leaning on the best couple on the show in Danny and Nia. You should. Luke going and talking to Danny, who is objectively the nicest guy on this TV show, if not maybe the nicest guy in Bravo at this point? He's up there. It's him, Russell, Miami, and I don't even know.

I think maybe is. Yeah. Yeah, Russell West and Danny are top three. Very smart move, very good move because you're just trying to break into this group of friends. Go talk to Danny. Danny's a great husband, great father. You're trying to get Kristen pregnant. Obviously, you've got plans of marrying her as well.

Go talk to the best husband and father on the show. Agreed. I learned a lot about Luke this episode that I wish I'd known when I was hanging out with Luke in L.A. Because he's a bow hunter. He's a fisherman. I am both of those things. I wish that we had sat down and talked about that. But this just furthers my point, and I've said it before.

I'm going to say it this episode, too, because they almost come to blows. Luke would kick the shit out of Jesse. Yeah, I think so, too. He's got his number, but they're talking about their living situation, and, you know, Luke gets a little burnout by the L.A. lifestyle, which I totally understand. We were there for three days, and I was ready to go home. But they're trying to find a way to bring his life to L.A. a little bit more, because she refuses to live in Colorado on the ranch.

He was even falling asleep while he was talking about. I know. She was not very interested in the whole thing. But at the end of the day, Luke just wants to fish. He's never been without his fishing pole before, and he can't just bop around and fish in L.A. I don't think it works that way. So he's trying to figure out a way to bring his life out there.

Is there no lakes or something you can go to nearby? It's tough if you're not. Like, when I lived in Florida, I would just leave wherever I was living and walk around and find a pond and just flip my rod in there for like three hours. Bass, bass, bass fishing. That or you catch like tilapia,

which was a pain in the ass and you have to take them off the hook. You can't do anything with them. The trash fish when they're in the pond. But there was this great lows. Is it tilapia? No. On tilapia? Fuck no.

How'd they get in the pond? Talapia? Yeah. They're freshwater and salt water. It's also tilapia, for a lot of people out there, tilapia is a very broad word. Yeah, okay. That's what I'm getting, yeah.

It implies a white fish. Okay. Like a flaky white fish, but it is not necessarily like a tilapia. So be careful when you ate tilapia, all right? But we would catch bass, and there was a great loz that you could sneak into a pond that was chained off because the pond got poisoned with arsenic

by the factory next to it. Sure. So the bass were very discolored, but man, they were big, and there were like thousands of them in there. Free eyes. We would jump in over the fence and fish there, which probably wasn't the best idea. I got scared for a second because he said jump in.

Not in the water, but we would go in there and then the police would come and we'd run away. It was, you know, baseball life. Yeah. But, uh, anyway. Brings back drinking in the woods running for the cops. Yeah, the good old days, the Tiki Trail. You know, they still go there? Yeah.

There's a little side story for everybody. When we bring it up now, we've done this before. I've told them that we start, yeah, that my sisters go there and party now. Yep. Yeah, man, that's crazy. But, it is. Should I not say that my sister's party there? No, no, it's fine.

Yeah. Yeah. Because we've done the story before. I didn't know that twice, actually. I didn't know that. that but regardless we get to jacks and jasmine and they're talking at the bar uh just kind of catching up after the boys and the girls night and the sex life comes back sex life sex life they're jacks and brittany sex life sex life is that a thing yeah does it sound weird what i'm saying it

i don't know it's a thing yeah sex life definitely a thing okay cool sex life man my brain's not working very well today just say it a couple more times look at it no no i don't want to but over the same things that we've heard, you know, Britney wants to feel wanted and that Jacks needs to show her, not tell her that actions speak louder than words and like give her compliments. The funny thing is now Jack's overcorrected. He's like, oh yeah, he starts talking a big game. He's like, oh, we got plenty of toys, but like the batteries ran out and this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Nah, uh, or else you wouldn't be in this position where your sex life is nothing. I think if anything, he was loosely referring to the fact that maybe Britney

uses toys and not him. Oh. I think that's what I got from him. I think that's what I got from it. Oh, I went the other way. He was doing it under the guys of like, maybe if I just throw this out there, she'll back off. I actually didn't care. I didn't really mind this at all because how many times have we seen somebody in a couple and it's just like a girl's night or a guy's night and they're talking about sex or lack thereof and they don't really know what to do. And it always boils over into something else and nothing ever happens. That's a good point. I actually didn't mind the fact that one of Brittany's friends sat down with Jacks. It didn't even look like Jacks really minded talking about it because he knew it was coming from a place of concern. And we obviously know what's going on with Jacks right now. But in the moment, he seemed like he might. actually give a shit. I didn't have any issue with this scene. No, no issue at all. I like that, I mean, Jasmine has her best friend's interest or best friend's best interest at heart, so she takes upon herself to have this conversation.

Regarding her sex life. Yeah, and I got it, dude. Shut up. But the other thing that comes from this scene is they're talking about Jesse and Michelle, and Jesse let slip that he'd be shocked if this marriage lasts another two months. Yeah. Now, the rumor that Jacks has to bring up, because Jacks loves a good rumor.

He's a gossiper. We even get this little cut scene earlier in this scene where it's like Jack's just gossiping over the years on Vanderpump. And literally just a week ago. Yeah, and just a week ago. But apparently Michelle's been texting other dudes and this protecting comment from Doty comes into play

where she's trying to protect her and that's in reference to these texts potentially and Jacks is worried that Kristen will let it slip. Are you? because you're letting it slip right now in hopes that Jasmine takes this information and tells somebody else. Yeah, and the way that I'm taking that is Jacks is where the Kristen's going to let it slip because Jacks wants to be the one to let it slip in his own sort of strategy. Sort of.

Yeah, we're having a hard time. Sort of strategy that he's trying to unveil here because, again, when we go back to really any of the things that have popped off a little crazy, I still think that Kristen and Jax are, well, Kristen and Jax are always in the center of it, but I always still feel like it goes back to Jackson, Brittany. They're the ones who are spinning the wheels,

and they're doing it in a much better way, whereas Kristen is just getting very flustered and yelling things, but that's how Kristen does it. Doty. That's Doty. She's going to throw a big mess. Doty going to dody. But we get Jackson and Jason on a phone call. It doesn't work because it's echoey,

and I love that he takes it to get Jason being an Android guy. Yeah. Uh, we have an Android guy in our, oh, no, not anymore. Not anymore. Zach finally got an iPhone. Yeah, in our video game group, it was always, you get the green bubble. Mm-hmm. There's one guy had an Android.

Just doesn't look good. We converted him. Don't worry. We got him on board, but because that phone call doesn't work, instead he calls Danny and let's him know, we're going back to the Mondrian. When he said that, I was like, oh, shit. Oh, boy. Yeah, we've been there before.

Shit popped off there, but Jacks is having an event for, men's hair growth because he's starting to notice some thinning going on in his hair. Sure. This is an important issue that more men need to be able to talk about. Okay? There's nothing wrong with hair care and hair growth and preventative. I take

I guess we can't say it because we're not sponsored by anybody. I take products to make sure that I don't lose my hair because I don't want I would rather take shit now than in 10 years, be like, man, I should have taken something. Honestly, I feel like that everybody should just go talk to Zach about this. I mean, what's going on with that helmet of hair you got?

How do you do it? Oh, no, I was going to save that. Oh. Okay, we'll talk about it now. Yeah. The fact that Zach takes a dig at Schwartz's hair, I was like, my man, take your helmet off before you throw shade like that. You can't.

Show us your real hair. Yeah, you can't be pointing fingers right now. Do you get a haircut? You can talk some shit, but regardless of any scissors can get through that thing. No, it's, it's, that thing. Too thick. If you knocked on his hair. It just, like, doesn't wash it, and it's just, like, it's just years and years of product in there.

No, it doesn't look dirty. It just looks like a helmet. I just thought, you know, interesting for you to take a shot at somebody else's hair. Maybe, you know. Yeah, maybe settle down. Yeah, go to sports clips first. Sports clips. But the next scene, we get Michelle and Isabella, and they're playing at a playground or whatever,

and she's talking about Jesse. And her big thing is that she thinks it would be better for Isabella to see two loving people and not two people fighting, which sure, I agree with. that my thoughts and feelings on Michelle are just drastically changing episode to episode. The more we're finding out, this is not vindicating Jesse. Jesse's an asshole. It's very clear that Jesse's an asshole. However, Michelle is not blameless either, I don't think.

We're seeing a lot of stuff come out, and we'll get to that later. But the next scene, we get Danny, Nia, Jason, and Jesse. And Nia just partnered with a crib company, great timing, because you got the twins. Yep. So she invites the dudes over to try to get some things accomplished because she wants them to build the crib. Unfortunately, you invited the three most not handy dudes I think I've ever seen. I would just say, unfortunately, you live in L.A. Okay, fine, fair.

Let's take a shot. Yeah, take a shot. All the way on the other coast. We'll take a shout of my brother. We'll take a shot at Brooks. Yeah. Why not? But they go about trying to put together these things.

And somebody, I watched the Valley today, and somebody had messaged us. because I was posting about building my garden on our account earlier, which was, I'm so glad I did. I got so many tips from people. So many tips. Because I was curious about how to fill the beds up because it's a lot of area to get a lot of dirt. And they're like, oh, put limbs and, like, tree limbs and stuff on the bottom to fill up some space. And then you can fill it up from there.

And when they decompose the nutrients. So I cut down like three trees today and threw them bitches in those. So thank you, everybody out there that gave me tips in the garden. But regardless, somebody commented and said, maybe you should have been over at Danny and Neas and that process would have been a little bit easier. So appreciate you. Also, pretty sure you don't need a power drill

to put together a crib. It definitely speeds up the process. Depending on what you're using. A lot of them are like, I feel like Allen wrenches, there's little guys. I was going to say, definitely came with an Allen wrench to use. It's way faster to use a power drill

unless you don't know how to use a power drill. Which they don't. No, you keep losing the drill bit, which you got to screw that bad boy in. Okay, there's process. I didn't know. It's just fucking crazy. So you hold it like this.

It's crazy. Like, watching them try to do that was, like, hurt my head. I was like, you guys can't like. I was laughing at the whole time because it's exactly what I thought. And Nia came and she goes, do I need to do this? I was like, yes, you do. You actually might. Definitely be more capable.

You're Missed Universe. You probably know how to do this. You can definitely do this better than these three guys are doing it. They pick it up and everything falls off of it when they're trying to move it. It was just a disaster. But the point of this scene, we get Jesse talking about therapy. And this paints him in a little bit of a different light. well, and I appreciated this, because even though he takes it to shrooms and ayahuasca,

casillocybin is mushrooms, he's talking about what a lot of people are doing now in therapy, where they're taking psychedelic drugs to see a different side of themselves, see a different perspective. I actually think this stuff's kind of interesting. Yeah. I think they might be something like that. Like, I don't know. Like an entourage where they just go to the desert.

Or if you do like a ketamine drip like. Oh, like Adriana. Adriana did in Miami, whatever. You can do it. Just don't show us. We don't need to watch it. No, that was uncomfortable. But Jesse points out, like a big, big factor that makes him such an asshole.

And I was shocked. He's like, you know, I want to address my ego. And I was like, whoa. He's like, and it's not about. Self-awareness. Yeah. He's like, I know I can, like, I bang the table and this and that. And it's not about empowerment.

It's about when I do this, like, I'm being a monster. And I was like, yeah, that is way more self-awareness than I ever thought you were capable of. shocking to hear the biggest thing I take away regardless of what he's saying he's trying he is trying we saw that with the the dating coach the the marriage coach or whatever the fuck that guy was we saw that there when they were talking after the fact and he's like do you still want to try like do you still want this I do and she says I know you want this I don't know if I still do yeah and I do think that obviously we don't have all the pieces of the puzzle here because we're basing it off of at this point I mean Michelle gets worse

and worse every week, but we're basing all of our knowledge off of two assholes. So it's really hard to piece this thing together. I do really think that after COVID, when Michelle's talking about Jesse being a really good father, because he couldn't go anywhere once he started going places, and she basically threatened him saying that she was going to leave and find a new apartment, he started to try. And that's where it comes from. He starts to try. He starts to try. And then he tries for a couple of months.

And then he goes very back to his own self. So I think that's what happens. And I think that's, if you're Michelle, you're looking at this like, okay, yeah, you're trying again because you realize that I'm about to leave and you're going to try and you're going to try and then you're going to stop again. So why would I do it again? Which I mean, okay, fine. But the more I'm seeing, it's like, yeah, I think that as we say a lot, like, yes. Complicated. There's two sides to every story.

The third side is the truth. I think that what we're seeing here is, could Jesse have done better? Yeah, most definitely. that is without question does that mean that your wife gets to cheat on you absolutely not absolutely not so neither of them are blameless if it comes out that he was at least faithful when they were trying to figure all this shit out and he's putting in the effort after she threatened which is what you're supposed to do if you hit that cross in the road that fork in the road it's like all right either put up or shut up he's trying so that does not allow you to then go about your business however you you want and blame his missteps in the past for you not trying to further your marriage in the future. Yeah. So I think that we're going to reach some kind of conclusion here one way or the other.

I think we're going to get enough information where it's going to be pretty clear as to not who's right or wrong, but who's the bigger asshole. Yeah, that's really all it's going to come down to. Who's the bigger asshole? And I don't know who's going to win right now. Jesse's in the lead. He had a huge lead to start off with. Michelle is climbing back into it, though.

Very quickly. Very quickly. But the boys are supportive. You know, Danny says you're doing everything you can. You're trying. Like, it's amicable. And it was really important for me, like, as a viewer, to see this scene. Like, well, the guy's not all asshole.

You're just majority asshole. But whatever. We get to Jackson, Brittany, and there's a little bit of a bar update. And after seeing the casualties of Schwartz and Sandys, of Tom Tom, um jacks doesn't want to put himself in a similar position as those two idiots so he wants to bring brittany in more brittany feels like she has been left out of this whole process and so he brings her to the bar to get her input what's interesting is jacks's partners the general manager the other owners of the bar they appear to have wanted her opinion for a while yeah the timing of this is

very suspicious knowing what we know a little bit later in the episode where jack says Well, it's football season. I got to open for football season. Yep. That's why he brought her. Yep. That's the only reason he brought her. And the other partners wanted her there the whole time. Jacks is Jacks. He probably wanted to leave her out. Even if we get those little scenes where he's talking about how Schwartz told him that it's really going to strain your relationship, so you got to be smart about it, things like that, he doesn't really give a shit. He's going to do what he's going to do. Jacks is always going to do what Jacks wants to do. He brought

Brittany in there just to show her, hey, you know, we're almost there. We're getting there. You get to take over some of it. All the partners are really excited to see you because there's going to be a lot of women here. We need a woman's touch. That makes a lot of sense to me. In the moment, I'm like, okay, this is good. Jacks is learning. He learned from other people's mistakes. No, he just wants her to see it to say, okay, yeah, you're almost there so that he can drop the bomb later and say, I'm going to open this place in a couple of weeks. Yeah, exactly. I firmly agree with you. But what I took from the scene the most is how these two communicate and what Brittany wants and she's vocal about it and what Jacks is incapable of giving her because I felt

really bad for her. She's like, I want Jacks to be able to lean on me, but he won't. And we see that happen. You know, he finally has this moment of like a breakdown where he's, she's like, you seem stressed out. He's like, I am stressed. I got to do this. I got the business, a mortgage, raising the kid, blah, blah, blah, all these different things. And he kind of dumps it on her, but then doesn't go that much further in depth. And like, that's what Brittany wants. is a partnership. She wants to be able to talk to you and you talk to her and you lean on each other. It's kind of heartbreaking, honestly, to watch the scenes with the two of them.

Yeah. Because you can see that she just wants a husband and a partner and a happy, healthy marriage. She wants to feel wanted by her husband. She wants to feel desired. And she wants a partner to raise their kids to go throughout life with. And Jacks is just not able to do that because he's not a good dude. and like she defends him to the ends of the earth and I don't know if that's because

she actually believes that there's a good dude in there or she's put so much time and effort into this that she just wants it to succeed and maybe what we got this year with them finally splitting is she got to a point where she's like you're irredeemable yeah I cannot do this anymore because she's trying

even when she's being shitty and getting involved in the bullshit and starting nonsense she's doing that to support jacks she's going that far to get involved And look, she's not blameless when she stirs the pot because she also wants to be relevant on TV. I know that.

She's good at it, too. She can do it from behind the scenes. Right. And people also say, you know, she got together with Jacks initially on Vanderpump just so she could be on TV. So there's a lot of that involved as well. But when you just see these two together, you take the reality TV out of it and just look at them as a married couple, my heart kind of breaks for us. It's like, you're not going to win this battle. I know it's all you want a husband and all you got is a Jacks.

Yeah. And I know that we keep bringing up where they are. and how they're separated and what Jacks is doing with his assistant and all of those types of things. And I know that when we first heard that they were separated, we talked about how it looks like it was for the show. Let's drum up a little bit of outside drama so that people watch and they try to figure out, okay, when did they fall apart? Because we're going to assume that we're going to see that at some point. And then when everything comes together, they're going to get back together anyway. And the whole thing was just for show.

The more that we watch on the show, the more we realize, okay, yeah, no, this isn't a very good foundation for their relationship. and the show is doing really well so at some point you would imagine they would just come back together because who cares you don't need to do these like little antics and things outside of the show to get people to watch because everybody's watching right now so it's starting to look more and more real

pretty much every episode that comes out for both of those reasons and it's crazy to watch and look I mean I guess we were wrong they weren't just doing it for the show all signs are pointing to that but we can admit when we're wrong we usually do I think that we do every time even though people say we don't.

We were wrong. But we get to the Mondrian for the hair party, and this is where Zach comments on Schwartz's hair. I wrote that down. I just love that it's the hair party, and the first person we have to talk about is Zach. Yep. Oh, that's a good point, too.

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Like the snackologist we were born to be. Mates is back. Mike and Tom, eat snacks. Wherever you get your podcast. Unless you get them from a snack machine, in which case, call us. Here, the most popular fiction podcast of all time, which the New York Times described as what might occur if David Lynch was a producer at your local radio station.

Welcome to Nightvale is a twice-monthly update from a small desert town. Where the paranormal is real. Every conspiracy theory is true. We all have to get on with our lives anyway. Welcome to Night Vale is available wherever you get your podcasts. I thought it was kind of fucked up that when Jacks walks in, freeze frame arrow pointing to his bald spot. Yeah.

He's already talking about it. The more interesting thing was when this is brought up originally to Danny, Danny's like, yeah, you know, it's thinning a little bit. He's got a bald spot here. You can see it, but, like, I'm glad that he's doing something about it. And also, he's going to take any chance he can to make some money, whatever, do you? Everybody else thinks this is just the cash grab. When I'm looking at his hair, I'm like, yeah, it's thinning a little bit.

It's definitely thinning a little bit. I thought that last week when he took his hat off, I was like, the funny thing is they go to Jesse in his confessional. And Jesse goes, dude, it's probably just a calic. When he pointed to his head, I just stared at Jesse's head. What the fuck is going on with his hair? You know what he looks like? it looks like his hair was like up and a poof and then he put like a headset on and it kind of

like dented his head. Oh in the middle? Yeah. Oh, maybe. He's got it like really big in the back. Next time you see him, he's got a really like tall in the back and then it kind of swoops down like a valley. Hey.

And then it comes back up. He did it for the valley. Yeah. Nah, it just looks like a fucking idiot. But I just couldn't stop looking at it. I'm like, what is going on with his hair? The hair on this show is crazy. They should call it hair in the valley.

Hair in the valley. Hair in the valley. I'm not hairy enough for the hair club. Oh my God. A master of disguise reference? No, it was a master of disguise reference, yep. We're getting in deep right now. We're pulling everything out of our bag.

I think the funniest part of that is the fact that that movie's horrible, but that line... Everybody knows. Everybody knows. I'm not turtle enough for the Turtle Club. Jesus Christ. We find out that Jack spray painted his hair upon finding out that he was bullied. Totally believe it.

Totally believe it. He definitely did. He went into the garage and... I love the people that were like, did you actually do that? It's like, yeah, of course he did. I don't have to ask him. Of course he spray painted his hair. Why wouldn't he spray paint his hair? What do you think is going to look better? A little mat or maybe a little shine. What do you think, Brittany? Yeah, come in here and spray paint my head. He used rustolium, which I believe is like anti-rusting fucking. It has like metallic shimmer.

It probably made him balder. It definitely did. It clogged your hair pores, you dip shit. That's not good for your head. That's probably where your bald spot came from. Yeah. That one, you probably did have a calic. It probably was a calic. And then you spray painted your calic killed the hair cells and now you're bald yep dumbass anywho let's hope this latin american is that what they called it too i don't even know what it was but they were trying to figure out what it was because the the name of it is x-y-go or something oh and brittney was like yeah it's just it's latin-american for for good hair zygo that's how i'd pronounce it's definitely not latin america yeah jesus christ well we're dealing with idiots yeah that's inherent but we're

You get Jasmine and Janet talking, and to Jasmine's credit, she didn't stand by it that well, but she leads off with, I'm not comfortable repeating the whole conversation. You know, Jacks tries to be subtle messy and plant seeds. That's the thing is Janet is doing this. Janet's messy, though. She's messy. I don't think she's that messy. I think she's a little more meticulous than the rest of the crew.

When I say messy, I mean, she likes to get involved in the shit. Yeah, yeah, for sure, because we point. it back to her with the whole Michelle is racist comment. She was definitely talking with Zach probably, and it comes back to her and she was able to get out of that, Scott-free, and move on with everything else. And now she's doing it again, where she's trying

to pull it out of Jasmine, and Jasmine doesn't want to talk about it, but Janet keeps asking questions. Slowly, but surely, Janet has everything. She gets some hints. She gets a couple of things. Now, the thing is, obviously it all blows up later, so we don't get to see if Janet gets to put this into play, but we at least get to see what her strategy

is and how she's going about it. She fishes. I'm the pregnant woman. Come on. You can talk to me. I'm going to have a baby soon. I'm trustworthy. I'm not going to blow up your spot.

You see my husband over there? He's sweet. He's a lawyer. He's a lawyer. That's even more of a reason to be because they're lawyering this shit. You've got to be careful. But Jasmine lets it slip a little bit. She points out that it has to do with Jesse and Michelle.

And a Michelle text message. She doesn't go fully in. So it's like, it's enough. It's enough. Yeah. It's enough. So you originally stood on your laurels in, I'm not going to let it slip. You tried.

You tried. And then you got lawyered. Yep. You got lawyered by the lawyer's wife and she lets it slip. Janet makes a great point about the whole thing, though. It's kind of bullshit that of all people that are pointing to rumors in a marriage that Jacks is doing it. Because there's been rumors about his marriage since day one. He also is the only one here that we know cheated on his wife.

Maybe he shouldn't be the ones stirring in the pot. But as Doty's going to Doty, Jax is going to Jax. So this is what we expect from him. But this is where we cut to Gabby. Gabby is Burning Man Woman. Burning Man. Burning Mermaid. Burning Mermaid. We are fucking struggling.

Burning Mermaid. Are we okay? No. Good God. Burning Mermaid is, I'm not sure what she's doing, handing out clothes. Yeah, she was a pop-up boutique, I think. Okay. I thought.

And she's selling outfits for Burning Man. Okay. Now, I wonder what she, I guess she has a photo shoot the next day, is a mermaid. Is a mermaid at the hotel? I'm sure Jackson and Jesse probably went. Jesse got invited. Jesse got invited, but I'm sure Jacks and Jesse probably went together. Jacks definitely figured out a way to get in there.

Yeah, I got to go back. I left my wallet. Yeah, I left my shoe. What? Yeah. I left my boner. I got to go back and get it. It's like you wanted to have sex.

I'll get it. Hold on. Let me get my boner. I left up the Mondrian. but the way that these two are like flirting with her and they're clearly into her and this is where you are 40 bro yeah you can't stand there and be like get me out of here get me out here oh god like then not leave grow up grow the fuck up you can say that as you're walking away i guess not while you're two feet away and then turning back and talking to her yeah because you're clearly

trying to get her to hear you say it's like oh it's cute you're being too flirtatious gross Like at least Jesse, apparently two hours prior to this, was talking to his coach and found out that, in fact, his marriage is probably going to end. But did he talk to his coach and do that, or did he trip on ayahuasca and see it in the future? I don't think he's done the ayahuasca trip yet. Yeah, that's what somebody else. That's what I was thinking the whole time. I was like, wait.

No, no, no, no. I don't think he's done that. I want to see his ayahuasca trip. I don't. I would wait. Like the duchiest. No, I would love to see the dudes go out to, like, Joshua Tree. Yeah.

And take some ayahuasca. and just film that. They wouldn't be able to put that on Bravo, though. Why? Because it's drugs. We watched Adriana do ketamine. Yeah, but that's in a controlled... All you have to do is get a, quote-unquote, licensed therapist with Iowa.

I don't think ayahuasca is like that, though. No, there are things that you can go... Bro, if you can get fucking ketamine, you can get ayahuasca is worse than ketamine. I don't think so. Iiwasca is naturally occurring. If you go and get it like a shaman... It means a controlled substance. Ayahuasca is not.

I've been to rehab. I've heard stuff. I know stuff. I've talked about you. I've talked to me. All right. I also did. By the way, did not know where to get drugs until I went to rehab.

Now that's where I found out all about Kensington. So, thanks, Karen. You're just driving down there, trying to get some pizza at a good spot that you saw. What the fuck's going on here? Oh, Jesus Christ. Is this from the pizza? This is where Mermaid Lady invites Jesse to the Mermaid Fashion Show. Jesse's like, clearly entertaining the idea.

Maybe I'll bring my daughter. Michelle walks up as this has happened. Did he actually say that? No, no. I was like, whoa. My daughter loves mermaids. Yeah, she loves the little mermaid. Definitely going to bring her.

That's, there's your excuse. That's what he's probably going to say. I only went because Isabella loves mermaids. You didn't bring Isabella. I know. I was researching. But Michelle walks up and, you know, Jesse quickly plays like, oh, yes, you know, it's Bernie Man. Dinner time? All right, let's go. And they bounce and they get to dinner.

And this is where we find out from Jesse that he had a session with Scott a couple hours before this. So he's sitting there like sullen, ghost face, miserable, doesn't want to talk to anybody, especially this group of people. And he's working through the fact that, in this I felt some sympathy for him initially, because he's working through the fact that, holy shit, my marriage is over. What does the two months thing come from? I think the two months thing was just him talking to Jack's at. the, like, Carnival or whatever. I'm just wondering, like, there's no way that he sat down with a therapist, and they were like, no, no, no, based off of what you're saying, you've got two months to live.

The two months was earlier. When he said that the marriage is over, it wasn't that it was over in two months. He's just realizing that we're not going to come back from this. So he's working through that in his head. Meanwhile, Michelle's trying to play the game of everything's okay. Let's just talk. Why aren't you talking? And now calling more attention to the fact that he's not talking.

This is where we also find out that Jacks is pushing for the bar to be open. Now, I fully agree with you. That's why Brittany was brought in so that he could justify it. However, don't disagree with his sentiment. I don't, I don't either. I think it makes a lot of sense, especially if you're operating based off of how terrible Schwartz and Sandies was where they just refused to open. They did like a soft opening, soft opening with just their friends, not making any money, not making any money.

This makes sense because it, look, it's L.A. I mean, we were in L.A. during football season. Not a lot of people give a shit about the football teams, whatever. But if you're going to have some people there, you can do a brunch, picnic tables. It at least looks like it's ready to open in that regard. And then you can do the rest of it later. Agreed, especially because it's framed as a sports bar. Correct.

So if you can get it open under construction for football games. You have the TVs up there, too, and you've got your liquor license and everything. You're good. You are losing money right now. So we'll show up and watch football anywhere. If you build it, they will come. Exactly. Very well said.

But this is where Michelle starts poking Jesse a little bit. She's like, you're so quiet. You're so quiet. Why are you so quiet? The other people at the table start noticing. Now Jesse gets irritated. Bangs the table. Bangs the table, which was dumb.

He shouldn't have done that. It was just like symbolic. I don't think we actually really wanted to do it. No, no. I know it was. I know what he was trying to do. I do think that was dumb. I don't think that played nearly as well as he thought.

No. I felt bad for Jesse only because I know what it. It's like when you're kind of cranky and someone's like, why you thought are you cranky? He grumpy, and then you get more grumpy. I didn't have a lot of sympathy very shortly after because he blows up like an idiot. And shit just hits the fan because he slams the table. And then Doty starts playing this holier than now, righteous virtue signaling bullshit

where she's like, this is crazy. I'm not going to be around for this. Like he's so toxic and so this and so that. And then she speaks up and calls him abusive. And I'm so glad that Jasmine called it out. She's like, you just hit all the trigger words, man. Republican. I paused it for the bingo card.

Oh, did you? Yeah. It was mostly, it was a lot of repeats. Was it? Yeah, it wasn't as good as I thought was going to be.

Oh, that's a bummer. I know. Yeah, it was only on the screen for like half a second, so it was one of those like, let's just get this graphic out there. I was hoping there was going to be like some more trigger words

or maybe a couple of VPR nuggets in there. Nah, it was just some dumb shit. Well, it's really fucking annoying that she does that shit because, like, you can't, it's similar to what Katie said,

or it's like, when you have to constantly tell me how much you've changed. it negates the point of it. It's very similar to that. It's like, dude, we know what your past is. And maybe you are on this journey of healing. Great, good for you. You and Luke seem like you guys are doing fine.

Like, all of that's great. But you don't have to get on this high horse and then use, you know what that word does. Yeah. You know what that word implies. Like, by saying abusive, you're turning heads. People's ears are perking up. They're like, ooh, what? People are watching this on TV.

It frames it differently. Is he a shitty husband? Yeah. Is she a shitty wife? Yeah. No, it's just, it's the exact same thing. And that's what Jasmine's so right about. It's the same thing as calling somebody a Republican, calling somebody a racist, inferring those things, and then taking it back afterwards and trying to be like, oh, well, I don't know.

Like, the whole reason that you're doing this is because you want to announce to everybody that you are the bigger person because you're holding Michelle's secrets. That's all you really want. And that is not how that works. No. If you're holding someone's secrets, you stay the fuck quiet. You don't say that I have, I don't push somebody to the edge. And then when they come back at you, you get a chance to be like, I've got her secrets and I'm being a good friend to you. The fact that you just said that you're holding secrets for her is going to make the situation worse.

You know what you're doing, and this is what Doty does, and this is what Doty does better than really anybody else. She's great at it. She has a great way of doing the whole, I know what's going on. And I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to just do it unprompted. I'm a good friend. But I'm going to force you into a situation where you're going to make me say it. Yeah, you're going to push me too far.

It's going to get too much, and it's going to come out. And then it's going to look like it's your fault. Yep. It's masterful. She's been good at me for a long time. I don't know if she knows what she's doing, but she knows how to do it. Uh-huh. But she storms off.

She's ready to leave. And we get like a conversation off camera. And it's between the two of them. And a producer. And a producer. And they start talking. And this is where we get the line from Jesse. We heard this before.

If you bring up any skeletons from her past that I don't know about, I will fucking end you. Burry you. Burry you. Is it Barry? Okay, I wrote Ed. This is where you're going to lose a lot of points, dude. You cannot get in a woman's face this aggressively, bro. I think that's where, at least, and you know us, we love a good fourth wall break.

We do love when that happens. But this is where it comes into play where Kristen has been on shows before. She knows how this works. She's talking to the producer, yes, I mean, we can hear a little bit of it. Michelle, for whatever reason, tells everyone, or no, I'm sorry, Jack's told everybody to quiet down, right? They could listen. Is that what I, yeah? I think Jack's told everybody to quiet down so they could hear what was going on.

Kristen's telling the producer, I can't do this. Producer's trying to just get her to go back in there. Like, no, you can't walk away from this. You're in the middle of this. We need to see this on camera. Go back, sit down, and let's do this. Nope. All right.

Jesse gets up and comes over. Jesse doesn't realize that we can hear everything. This is a very candid and straightforward response from Jesse. He said that to the producer and to Kristen. Not to us, the viewers, but to them. And we got to hear it. And that is Jesse. That is Jesse.

He gets, it was way too aggressive. It was way too strong. He's pretty much threatening her. And then Michelle comes out there in his defense. Luke's out there as well. And I was baffled. You can't put your marital problems on Doty. No.

She's like, look what you've done to us. It's like, nah, bro. You did that. You apparently cheated on your husband. And he was MIA after you had your kid. This is a you. problem. This isn't Doty's problem. You brought the biggest thing of all, and I think

we talked about this with Summerhouse or something else, you brought this to reality TV. Nobody's forcing you to be on the show. You knew the state of your marriage. Your marriage was already in shambles, it was on the rocks, whatever you want to say, before you started filming. You decided to get

into reality TV with a shaky marriage. What do you think was going to happen? And why would you tell Doty that you're texting other men? Why would you tell her she's not going to hold it no that was the dumbest shit you could have done so you set up these dominoes now they're just falling yep you have no control over the issue now and now you're trying to put it this is like a desperation attempt at the end to be like oh fuck i overstepped because she loses it on

doughty and that's the one person because you divulge your secrets to her and because she knows too much do not cross her because she'll use it and she tease it up so that you force her quote unquote to do so by blaming her for your problems in your marriage they are your problems not Doty's problems. So I didn't care for that. And this is where Luke gets involved. And rightfully so, because Jesse's getting way too aggressive with Doty.

He's getting in her face. It's getting too much. So Luke steps in. And Jesse, I love when people do this in fights. What are you going to do? If you ask enough, you're going to find out. They fuck around and find out.

You keep saying that in somebody's face, and then they clap back at you, and then you act like, oh, God. Which I don't think Jesse would have. I think you would have thrown down. But, like, this sealed the deal for me, watching Luke handle the situation because even when Jesse goes off and Zach catches a fucking

stiff arm into the wall. Zach got crushed. He's got his helmet on. He's got his helmet on. He can take that. No CTE. No CTE. And he did not hit the deck. He stayed up. He got buckled, but he stayed up. All right? So, Zach, you get some points in my book.

Brittany catches the brunt too. She puts herself in between them. She gets shoved out of the way. You can't lose your control. You get a nice little exchange there in the middle where Zach's apologizing to Britney because he didn't see her there. He was just trying to get in the way. Yeah, but this is that you can't go off the rails like this. But while this is going down, dude, and while, like, Jesse's trying to claw his way through the crowd to get to Luke.

Luke is unfazed. He's taking a slight step back to, like, get away from the crowd in case Jesse gets through. He's not frantic. He's standing there stone cold. I was like, this guy's going to fuck Jesse up. If he gets through, keep Jesse back. Because I'm more scared of Luke than I am a Jesse. Yeah.

So I kind of wish he'd gotten through. I know, we always do. Violence isn't the answer, guys. No, it's not the answer. All right. But you don't want to kind of see it too? I love it. It's a little bit.

I'm talking to our listeners. Yep. You guys don't, I mean, just a little. Just a little. But it's been too much. Too much was said. It got too aggressive. It got too strong.

Fistacuffs are almost thrown. Doty lets it drop. You've had a boyfriend for over a year. Boom. That's what you could have avoided. No, I don't think that's a boyfriend currently. I think that was, had a boyfriend for over had a boyfriend they dated for a while they know i don't know what the

situation is now it's applying that but she's probably showing a lot of the same behavior that she was showing last year when she did have a boyfriend for a year so yeah that bomb was dropped as it should be by the way because you're being fucking shady and gross and dating somebody that's the thing that look if you're not happy in your marriage that's one thing there's never an excuse to step out so you deserve to have this brought back in your face however it was brought back by your own doing because you went after Doty you lost your cool

you shouldn't have told her to begin with that was your initial problem but you brought it on yourself you crossed Doty Doty drops the bomb now you guys left to pick up the pieces and I'm curious and I wonder what you think do you think that this moment right here

was what really pushed them because we know they're getting divorced now was this like one of the nails in the coffin where Jesse's like fuck I think Jesse already knew. I think he knows all about that. I think it's more about the public perception. Yeah, I think he knew about the boyfriend. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Oh, that's

a totally big. I think they probably had to work through that. And then maybe that also signifies why he's no longer super interested and he's trying, but he's not, and like the whole thing's just completely dead. I think he's known if you had to ask me, but I think it's more about, you're on

a reality TV show, so now everybody knows. Literally everybody. And they're getting ahead of it because they know that this is coming out. Look, I mean, you've already known what's going on. A lot of drama is going to ensue in the next couple of episodes, so you already know this is going to get out. I think they probably had a lot of time to think about it and decided to just move on. Are you looking for a movie review show where the critic is at the top of his or her game, meticulously breaking down and explaining exactly why a film does or does not

work? Well, good luck with the search, because we're having fun here on Adam does movies. Each and every week, I hit the big blockbusters, I cover the streamers, and I even toss in some movie news for fun. Check out the show on Spotify, on Apple Podcasts, on YouTube. And hopefully, we can do movies together. Hot. I'm Amy Nicholson, the film critic for the LA Times. And I'm Paul Shear, an actor, writer, and director. You might know me from the League, Veep, or my non-eligible for Academy Award role in Twisters. We come together to host Unspool, a podcast where we talk about good movies, critical hits. Fan favorites, must-season, and Casey Mistoms. We're talking,

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As it always does. Let's do some questions. I'm going to read this one just because I really love the username. Coopie Poopy Poopie asks. This could be like my long-lost cousin. Coopie Poopie? Shooter Magguder. Coopi.

Coopi. Shooter Magooder and Coopie Poopie? Yeah. Coupy cousins. All right. Does Michelle blink? Oh, no. Haven't seen it.

Haven't seen it. Haven't seen it. Good point. Not sure. well I'll pay attention next episode that's the kind of stuff I remember by the way I don't remember where my shoes are but I'll remember to make sure she blinks yeah

Sarah Shears asks who goes on a reality TV show with a year long side piece who do you believe Kristen or Michelle Kristen yeah yeah look you can say a lot of things about Doty but usually when she drops some tea there's at least a semblance of truth to it

so this actually makes a lot of sense R.M. Laze asked I feel like it was a miss to not invite Luke to build the crib after he just talked about all of his tools. 10,000 percent. That's the guy you would have had that thing built in five minutes. You wouldn't have needed anybody else. Yep. Especially those three idiots. That was so sad to watch.

But hey, if you need tips on champagne or wine or fashion. Fashion travel? You can talk to, Jesse. Let me talk to you about Capri. No. Capri. Capri. John Cratelli said Do you think Jesse is going to get called out for being agro

Or will everybody eyeball emojis at Doty? That's a good question I think it's going to land more on Doty Just based off of like how things have been going I think behind the scenes we're going to get the discussions about Jesse But I think in public or like in the group setting Everybody's going to go after Doty because of how messy she's been I think you're going to get both

I think that people are going to be tired of Jesse ramping it up like that, but I think that more emphasis will be placed on Doty than him on the show. I think public perception, I would imagine that Jesse's going to catch a lot of shit for getting to that point. Yeah, probably. Lauren 3D asks,

do you think it's been the director that she's been dating for a year? No, I do not think that she was dating Quentin Tarantino for a year. Got it. No, no. Oh, man, I hope it was. But no, I don't think that Tarantino would have hung around for it. He's a weird

fucking guy. Yeah. Do I think that she looked up with Tarantino? I just depends on her feet, honestly, for Tarantino. I know. It's him or Michael Bay, right? Yep. And if it's Michael Bay, then there had to be special effects involved.

Oh, do you think that he makes transformer sounds when he's having sex? Yeah, definitely. Oh, Jesus Christ. All right. Last question here. If Michelle is so done. done with Jesse. Why did she defend him when he was being very aggressive? I would kind of tailor this question a little bit more and say, why was she sitting there poking him the

whole time saying what's wrong with you when she knows what's going on? That was more... That's more my question. As far as defending him? When he was out in the hallway, that makes a little more sense because that's like, I'm protecting my secrets? That's more what I guess. It's like, oh, fuck. But why the fuck was she sitting there poking him? No idea. I don't know. Yeah, that was a really dumb move. That was stupid. But yeah, defending him out there, I think, one, you're going to do that regardless if you're still married because it's a bad look if you sit there and watch your husband get berated. And two, that's the secret keeper.

But then you were inadvertently pissed off the secret keeper, and she dropped her secrets because you're an idiot. Yeah, the secret keeper, dody. All right. Well, that's all I got you. You got anything? No. Nope.

Just make sure that you guys buy your tickets to our live show. Head to the link in our Instagram bio to do so. It is next Friday. We're getting all gassed up, geared up, ready to go. Like I said, we got Candace Dillard, Chris. Bassett and Ryan Bailey coming out. Go get your tickets, and we will see you's next Friday. Later.

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