Bros & Shows - Summer House and The Valley Recap w/ Ryan Bailey LIVE! (Part One)
Episode Date: May 6, 2024What's up Bros? As promised, here is the audio from our live show! This is part one and part two will be released tomorrow. First and foremost, what a night. Ryan was incredible and so were Candiace a...nd Chris (they'll be on tomorrows episode). But back to business, in this episode we touch on both The Valley and Summer House. In Summer House we focus in on the relationships in the house. From Ciara and West, all the way to Lindsay and Carl as well as the state of the show overall. Then it's off to The Valley. Jesse and Michelle are clearly both not great, but who is in the wrong here? Jax and Brittany are seemingly separated today, but what was the last straw? Is there more to the cheating rumors? All that and more with our fav, Ryan Bailey! #GUYSNIGHT! Time Stamps Intro: (0-4:04) Rose and Thorn: (4:05) Create your own BravBro: (9:26) Summer House: (19:03) The Valley: (43:30) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This episode is brought to you by Square.
You're not just running a restaurant, you're building something big.
And Square's there for all of it.
Giving your customers more ways to order, whether that's in-person with Square kiosk or online.
Instant access to your sales, plus the funding you need to go even bigger.
And real-time insights so you know what's working, what's not, and what's next.
Because when you're doing big things, your tools should to.
Visit square.ca to get started.
Ontario, the weight is over.
The gold standard of online casinos has arrived.
Golden Nugget Online Casino is live.
Bringing Vegas-style excitement and a world-class gaming experience right to your fingertips.
Whether you're a seasoned player or just starting, signing up is fast and simple.
And in just a few clicks, you can have access to our exclusive library of the best slots and top-tier table games.
Make the most of your downtime with unbeatable promotions and jackpots that can turn any mundane moment into a golden,
opportunity at Golden Nugget Online Casino. Take a spin on the slots, challenge yourself at the
tables, or join a live dealer game to feel the thrill of real-time action, all from the comfort
of your own devices. Why settle for less when you can go for the gold at Golden Nugget Online
Casino. Gambling problem call connects Ontario 1866531-260. 19 and over, physically present in Ontario.
Eligibility restrictions apply. See Golden Nuggett Casino.com for details. Please play responsibly.
As there's a drive in a deep left field by Castellanos, it will be a...
Oh man, it's 8 o'clock.
And so that'll make it a...
I don't need the spotlight.
I shine just fine.
Hi, I'm Karma.
And yes, I am a bitch.
Brov bros.
Funny, but it's always the same.
Way, yeah.
Playing you with the...
voice
Hello
Hello
Hello
Oh
Oh god
We do sound check before the show
And like set everything up
And it's awkward
My mic's awkward
So I didn't do it very well
even if it was done right it doesn't really matter
that's a good point
but I got to do one thing
and I do it at every show that we have
because I still can't believe
that people actually come out to watch us
but DC how are we doing tonight
I thought you were going to talk about
like how you almost died
and all this shit yeah
no if you want to hear a funny story
so our not that funny
it's kind of funny so I'm gonna tell you anyway
our first ever like solo live show
we were in New York
and the show went amazing
and there was like
this great energy in the room
and everyone was vibing
and it was the end of the show
and everyone knew that
so they're all clapping.
I tried to have like
a sentimental moment
because if you've listened
to the podcast for a while
you know,
I've been through some things
so it was like a really cool moment for me
I should have prefaced it
I didn't do that
so while everyone's like applauding
I'm like listen guys
I almost died five years ago
he didn't even tell me that
he just led into it
and told the entire audience,
hey guys,
I almost died five years ago.
I'm like,
what the fuck are you doing?
You, like,
the entire room literally was like,
what?
And shoot her on the mic goes,
what the fuck?
Then I explained,
and people were like,
oh, okay,
well, that's sweet.
But yeah,
so I'm not going to do that tonight.
I'll try not to get emotional tonight.
We'll see.
Good luck.
Yeah, I'll do my best.
Yeah,
but we have a great show for you guys tonight.
We've got some special guests.
They're going to come out in a little while.
We're saving the best for last.
Don't worry.
but we got Ryan Bailey coming out soon.
Yeah.
And then the best for last, we got Candice Dillard and Chris Bassett.
Yeah, yeah.
D.C. native, so we're excited to get into this whole thing.
But we figured we would start out the usual way as we do this
and talk about something near and dear to our hearts.
And the Sixers lost.
Are you going to steal my thorn?
Are you going to do a thorn with that?
No, I mean, my first.
Rose and Thorne are the same thing. Look, if you guys listen to us, you know we care a lot about
Philly Sports. Not everybody does. That's a, woo. Thank you. No, we had like two people out here
with Philly's jerseys on. We got really excited about that. Yeah, where's my Phillies peeps?
Shout it out. There they are right there. Yeah, they dressed accordingly. Everyone else
needs to step it up. It's okay. But we'll get there. But yeah, you know, we've been through an
emotional roller coaster. It's been a tough season, you know, and we're moving past it. And this
helps. This is almost like therapy for us. We get to come up here and vent about a little
Did you watch the regular season?
We get to vent about and talk some shit about it.
Look, basketball for me doesn't get exciting until the playoffs.
There's too many games, okay?
But regardless, we are going to start out.
That would have been a great time to look at the audience and say, am I right?
Oh, I'll get there.
I'll get there.
You guys will learn that.
I've learned in our time with live shows that if I say, right guys, the right way, everyone will cheer.
You'll see it.
Don't buy into it.
Don't buy into it.
Let's just do it right now.
Don't buy into it.
No, I'm not going to do that.
I'll save it.
You guys will know.
You know, we have a thing already.
I can feel it.
I can feel it.
You guys get it.
But we're going to do things like we normally do.
We're going to start with a little rose and thorn.
And we're going to go through my rose and thorn and shooter's rose and thorn.
But why don't you start us off there, pal?
All right.
So I'm not going to read a lot of this one, but my thorn.
The title of the review is, Save Us from Mediocre Men.
Please.
And I'm not going to read any of this fucking review.
Because who gives a shit?
You listen to the goddamn thing.
and you had a comment on it.
So who the hell cares what you have to say?
You're listening to us.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You're driving them numbers up.
Suck to suck, nerd.
I will read this one.
This one was from Sabrina 925.
Passionate boys.
Very passionate boys.
Ooh.
I love, quote, unquote, my boys.
Not sure why that was in quotes, but it is.
Dude, I don't fucking know.
My boys.
I didn't put it in quotes.
I'm just asking.
Just to let everybody know, I didn't put it in quotes.
They put it in quotes.
My boys.
My boys.
I can appreciate their rap and fandom.
And even if I'm not from Philly,
they apply that same passion to shows on Bravo.
And I love that.
That's so nice.
And they gave a shout out to Philly.
Yeah, you can clap.
It's okay.
Yeah.
Right, guys?
Yeah, we're in the wrong city for that.
Yeah.
All right, let me get into mine.
And you took my thorn.
We probably should have gone over this.
But I'll just give a broadthorn because...
Ew.
Stop it.
We're starting already.
early for that shit. My broadthorn, if you will, is...
Oh, so, ew.
Dude, it's going to take a while.
How many people here use the word pontificate
regularly? Regularly.
Regularly. Like, I'm talking,
you got to use it more than once a month.
We got two. Security. Security.
These people can leave. Get them out of here.
No, my point being, not a lot of you raised your hands.
It's not a common phrase to use.
and occasionally we will get commenters or reviews that out themselves for leaving multiple
negative reviews under different usernames and this one person continues to use the word
pontificate within the first sentence and I'm like we're on to you but I guarantee you by next week
we'll have another one it's like it's so I'll read the one because it's oh here you go where did it
go I totally like oh here it is brought to you by dumb and dumber still listen on occasion to
hear them pontificate because I'm amused by it. You know that person like hit the thesaurus button
on their phone? It's like, look up a better word for think. Pontificate. Thanks, chat, GPT. That helped.
But here's my rose. And this one, this is a nice one because it's like, it tells the journey of us
a little bit. Okay. Yeah, you're going to like this. I don't think I'm going to like this at all. Buckle up,
pal. This is from Mary to my TV. And it says, is that anybody here?
Well, no, not literally.
Is it?
Yeah, who's married to their TV?
She got hype.
Yeah. Is this your review?
Okay, then shush.
I'm just kidding.
I'm totally kidding.
Keep it down. We're trying to get through something.
Yeah, we're trying to work through this.
We're going to be here all night.
Five stars married to my TV, and it's titled Growth.
And it goes, since discovering this podcast last year, I've witnessed its remarkable evolution.
It consistently offers unique perspectives and divide...
diverse points of view,
challenging listeners
to expand their thinking
and embrace new ideas.
That's it.
But that's like...
That's it.
That's it.
But I liked that one.
It was deep.
It made me feel good about myself
that were on a growth journey together.
There's something special about that.
Sure. What do you mean together?
Like us and the viewers or...
You and I?
Us and the viewers, you can argue that it's...
You think we're growing?
You and I?
Yeah.
No, we've been the same since high school.
It's a fucking problem.
Growing apart.
Look how far away we are. What the hell?
Yeah, I know. You're too far.
Let's get a little closer.
I don't know. I'm good. I'm good.
You want to hold hands?
We were actually Ryan Bailey, and we'll get him out here shortly.
But he recommended that we do the Howie Mandel thing where we shave Shooter's mustache on stage.
Which makes, by the way, makes no sense because Howie Mandel is the biggest, like, germ freak.
So being around, like, people being shaved should probably freak them the fuck out, right?
That's actually a solid point. I never thought of that.
Yeah, I think he's faking it.
You think?
Let's do that tonight.
Howie Mandel's faking his whole germophobia thing.
I don't think that's true.
That's where we are.
That's where we got to, yeah.
This is what we wanted to actually talk about tonight.
So if you came here for Bravo,
and let's bring him out, Howie Manth.
I'm just kidding.
All right, no, no.
No.
But let's move on from that.
We got some Bravo news to discuss,
and I'm sure, well, before I do that,
I have to do this every time, too.
How many braves do we have here?
Who was pulled here by their significant other?
We got one, two, three, four,
these guys you
We already met you and you're faking it
You'll be okay
Yeah yeah yeah now we only met you
You're faking it you don't count
Yeah you've gotten your attention
Where are the real brab bro's out here
Yeah over here
Are you a brav bro or is he a brav bro?
You were you brought her into Bravo?
Stop it
Fuck yeah
Inverse
Yeah
Wait
Oh never mind then shut up
I don't think you know how this works
Yeah but yeah
Almost way cool
But no, that's really sweet.
And here's the thing.
I'm going to give everybody out here
just a little run-through
on how to have your own brav, bro.
You got to start with the right shows.
Did I just get an awe?
Was that an awe?
Aw, guys, stop it.
Now, here's your blueprint.
You got to start with the right show.
All right?
It's either a Vanderpump, a summer house.
What else?
Southern Charm, maybe?
Southern Charm, yeah.
That works.
Yep.
Below deck's a good one.
Everybody says below deck, yeah.
Here's the problem with below deck
that we've run into with a lot of our brav bros.
If you get sucked into below deck too much,
it's hard for them to branch out to other shows.
Okay? Are you taking notes?
This is a serious thing.
Are you guys talking to your braw bros right now?
A lot of conversations going on out there.
You guys talk to your brawros right now?
What are you guys talking about?
You can save that for after the show.
You can talk to them afterwards.
Just give us like an hour, and then you can talk.
After that, this is very important.
Okay. After you start them on their starter show, you got to pick the right housewives for them.
So you need to know your man a little bit to get them into the housewives realm.
That's a bigger leap. It's a little bit more difficult, but it can be done.
Okay? It can be done. It happens. All right? So keep working out there. You'll have your own bro soon.
But let's get into the news. And we had some shit pop off this week. And how many people here are Beverly Hills fans?
How many people liked this last season?
That's what I thought.
So we finally got word.
Kyle and Mo apparently are like officially split.
Kyle, sorry, Mo moved out of the house.
Did we get that from Netflix or, uh, what?
Did we get that from Netflix?
Yeah, Netflix gave us more about Maricio and Kyle in one episode than the entire season
of Beverly Hills gave us, which is bullshit.
But that's for a different podcast.
But we also saw that Kyle has removed Umanski from her name on Instagram.
So there's big things happening.
Yeah, so my question for you, and obviously we felt a certain way about this season,
do you think the show does better with Kyle coming back?
Or do you think that Kyle needs to take a breather and they can try to revamp the show a different way?
I think the entire show is fucked.
You just think for it.
The entire show is like kaput.
There's no way.
There's just no way that it works.
We need a new main character.
They need to focus it around somebody who nobody on the on the cast right now is a main character.
they're all doing their own little side quests
there's nobody doing a main quest
Kyle could have done that this year she didn't do it already
She didn't tell us anything
She didn't tell us anything
So she can't do that
She'll still be on the show
But she's still not going to give us anything
So I think we're just going to have another year of disappointment
Well we saw like watch what happens live
Andy said whoever was on it
I think it was last night
It was after Summer House right
And she asked about
The whole rumor that the only way Kyle's allowed back
Is if she opens up about her relationship
with Morgan Wade, whatever that may be.
I think they're dating, but who the fuck knows?
But that was apparently the only way she's back on.
His response to that, he said she can come back anytime.
Like, she's always got an invitation.
And I think that that's kind of like the flaw of Beverly Hills,
which used to be almost the focal point of the housewives world,
you could argue.
It's just you can't keep bringing people back that bring nothing to the fucking table.
Like, that makes a really boring show.
And we sat there and watched this entire season.
Sutton and Erika were the main character.
Like, Sutton's great. We love Sutton.
She's great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I keep forgetting that this is like our podcast fans.
Yeah.
So when we say that, usually I'm waiting for a boo or a no or a whatever.
But no, that is true.
And like Sutton is the main character this year.
Without Sutton, the entire season sucks.
And with moving forward, I just don't know what you do.
You can plug different people in without Crystal there, without whoever they're like,
Anne-Marie, it's just going to be the same product every fucking time.
Should we bring Anne-Marie back?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I agree.
Jokes on you guys, we actually turned our stands.
Yeah, we're Anne-Marie fans now.
No, I'm just kidding.
No, I don't know.
Like, the state of Beverly Hills as a whole is kind of a bummer.
And look, the biggest thing with the Sutton part of it,
Sutton is not a main character.
Like, she was great, and she carried the show that she did what she could, right?
And we love Sutton.
but she's not the center of the show.
Erica Jane, you could argue,
but then, you know, she says some wacky shit
and then, like, immediate...
She's so up and down.
I don't think that she can...
You need somebody that is...
Well, she knows what empathy is right now.
She did learn empathy.
That's pretty sick.
Yeah, she asked her therapist
to explain what empathy was to her, so...
Yeah, who!
Hopefully that worth...
Empathy, yeah.
Can you...
Can you learn the ability
to actually have empathy
by somebody explaining to you what it is?
Let's put it to a vote.
Everybody raise their hand.
Raise your hand.
Just fucking kidding.
Please don't.
Not, no one bit on that, too.
That's so funny.
I was so, but someone would be like...
God damn it.
You know?
That move.
Ha, shit.
That JK.
But the next thing I want to talk about is Jersey's coming back.
Who's excited for Jersey?
Boo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
Who's cautiously optimistic about Jersey?
Who doesn't fucking care?
Yeah.
That's kind of what I thought.
Yeah.
Look, Jersey...
I mean...
I wish, in light of recent news,
I wish that we were part of the crew
that was getting paid.
I know.
What the fuck?
This is bullshit.
Have you guys seen this?
There's influencers out there
that are getting paid by Teresa
or by Melissa?
We're not one of them?
No.
Could have fooled everybody
that has ever listened to our podcast ever.
I know.
That's the best.
We get comments like that a lot
where it's like,
these guys are on food
his payroll. I'm like, I haven't seen the money yet, but we're not above bribery.
Just Amazon gift cards?
That would, fine. I would take it.
Give me $50 for like an Amazon gift card once a month.
I'll say something nice about you.
Yeah. Yeah.
I don't even know if I can hold it that, though.
Well, look, I don't know if there's a way forward for Jersey.
Like, I really don't. Not with this current cast.
Like, Teresa and Melissa is so fucking played out and they keep hammering this shit home.
And it goes even deeper.
And I think our biggest thing, or at least my biggest thing, not to speak for you, my bad.
But our biggest thing on like any of these shows is we understand that a lot of it's produced.
They're working behind the scenes.
They're trying to figure out how to have a great storyline, all that shit.
We get that's part of the game.
When you start actually breaching that fourth wall with the social media, the followers, and this and that,
where you're actually asking influencers and content creators, hey, we're going to put this out today.
Hey, we're going to do this.
Hey, we're going to do that.
it lose all authenticity for me.
And I can't stand shows like that.
And we talk about how Salt Lake this past year
is kind of our bar that we've set for these shows recently
because it was such a great season.
And they kept everything close to, what's the word?
Close to the chest.
Close to the chest, yeah.
Close to the vest.
Close to the best.
What if you don't wear a vest?
That's a good point.
It's a good point.
I do wear a vest, but yeah.
We all get what I'm trying to say,
but it makes for a much better season.
Discuss amongst yourself.
Yeah, you guys talk about it.
You let us know what you think later.
But, no, I just think that for this show to continue on,
you've got to make some drastic changes.
Is the answer to get rid of Teresa and Melissa?
Is it to get rid of one of them?
It's got to be one or a new cast.
I mean, I don't really know,
but I do wish, I hate that it's coming out now
that there's potential for somebody on the show
paying influencers to spin things the right way.
if it happens on the show, I'm okay with the fourth wall break.
Because then at least we get something different.
Oh, you mean talk about it on the show?
Yeah, talk about it on the show.
Like, we're done filming.
We're going to, we're airing what, tomorrow or Sunday night.
Sunday night.
So we're not going to get any of that in the show.
We just know about it and we have to watch the show with the caveat of,
oh, all the other influencers are spinning it and like maybe half of them are getting paid.
Not us.
We haven't seen a fucking dime.
I'm fucking broke.
I got nothing.
Melissa?
Yeah, I'm going to reach out.
them right now. Hey, we'd love to be on your payroll. We'll say anything you want. But the last thing
that we need to talk about. And that's a little summer house. Who's watching Summerhouse this season?
One of the better seasons I've seen on Bravo since we started doing this, it's got everything.
We've got all the kinds of different drama on the show. The new additions to the show are arguably
the best newbies ever, Jesse and West. Right? Those guys are incredible. But in order to do this
effectively. I think we're going to need some help.
And why don't we get our hands together and get Ryan Bailey out here?
What do you think? Yeah.
Yo, Bailey.
The funny thing is, we didn't coordinate any of this, so he might not be here.
Goodbye. Summer movies, Hello, Fall.
I'm Anthony Devaney.
And I'm his twin brother, James.
We host Raiders of the Lost Podcast, the Ultimate Movie Podcast,
and we are ecstatic to break down late summer and early fall releases.
We have Leonardo DiCaprio leading a revolution
in one battle after another,
Timothy Shalame playing power ping pong
in Marty Supreme.
Let's not forget Emma Stone
and Jorgos Lanthamos' Bougonia.
Dwayne Johnson, he's coming for that Oscar
in The Smashing Machine, Spike Lee and Denzel teaming up again,
plus Daniel DeLuis' return from retirement.
There will be plenty of blockbusters to chat about two.
Tron Aries looks exceptional,
plus Mortal Kombat 2, and Edgar writes,
The Running Man, starring Glenn Powell.
Search for Raiders of the Lost Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
and YouTube. Hi, I'm here to tell you about Good Morning Night Vale. Welcome to Nightvail's official
recap show and unofficial best friend food podcast. Join me, Meg Bashwinner and fellow try hosts,
Hal Lublin and Symphony Sanders, as we dissect all of the cool, squishy, and slimy bits of
every episode of Welcome to Night Vale. Come for the insightful and hilarious commentary and stay for
all of the weird and wild behind-the-scenes stories. Good morning Nightveil, with new
episodes every other Thursday. Get it wherever you get your podcasts. Yes, even there.
Here, the most popular fiction podcast of all time, which the New York Times described as
what might occur if David Lynch was a producer at your local radio station. Welcome to Night Vale
is a twice-monthly update from a small desert town, where the paranormal is real. Every
conspiracy theory is true. We all have to get on with our lives anyway. Welcome to Night Vale.
is available wherever you get your podcasts.
Oh, you left already, Ryan Bailey.
Come on out here.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Wow.
This is what Tom Sandiball feels like
when he performs with the most excellent.
Wow.
Oh, my goodness.
I was just talking with Candace and Chris backstage.
They are amazing.
They're great, aren't they?
Yeah.
Don't worry.
You'll get to talk to them.
I love the tease for later, though.
Yeah, you guys, get ready.
Boy.
She is fired up.
Well, we brought you out here, and let's give it up for Ryan one more time.
Thank you.
If you don't listen to his show, so bad it's good with Ryan Bailey.
It's one of my favorite podcast.
He's been a friend of the show for a while, and we get to say this live.
Guys night!
Guys night!
DJ James Kennedy!
We've agreed that.
he's going to do the accent all night.
Yeah.
I actually,
I have spray paint to spray paint
all of our bald spots like Jack's Taylor.
Yeah.
So we'll do it.
We're going to shave his mustache later.
And then shave it and then spray over with a little bit of a...
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're going to spray paint your mustache.
Yep, that'll work.
We figured that we'd bring you out here
because we're going to talk some Summer House relationships.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
I like that.
We're going to get into...
Because there's a lot of different relationships
going on in the house right now.
They're all at weird places.
seemingly? Yeah. Yeah, to say the least. So why don't we dive right in? We're going to start out
with, we're going to kind of build up. You'll see what I'm doing when we get to the last one,
because you know who the last one's going to be. But the first one I want to talk about Kyle and
Amanda and sort of their trajectory up until this point and this roadblock they've seen to hit
that they continue to seem to hit. So they're really lucky they're on a season with Lindsay and Carl
falling apart because when they're not when Lindsay and Carl are out their relationship explodes
when Lindsay and Carl are there they're able to point at like oh look how bad this is so I get
nervous for future seasons with Carl with Kyle and Amanda because it just does not seem they seem to
want two very different things yeah they've had two straight seasons where they get to just live
in their own little bubble and everybody's everybody else is looking at Lindsay and Carl and they can
just move on and they do everything a little
discreetly while Lindsay and Carl are
just blowing everything up. Next year
not going to work. And I agree with that, but we
also see, like, cracks in the armor
a little bit because they're starting to get to a point...
Is there armor?
What armor are you talking about?
The mullet. The mullet? Loverboy?
Oh, I thought Lover Boy was...
It's a lover boy mullet armor.
Wait, Amanda is going to own 51% of lover boy
one day. Oh, my God. She
should already, by the way,
and she doesn't. By the way, that's what Amanda
biding her time of just like another year in, another year in. She's just, she's quietly buying stock
and lover boy so that she can get to that principle. She already sees like the, the beach home,
everything. Yeah. If that's the master plan and imagine like that rolls out next year,
she's like, ha, got them. And then they get divorced. She's going to eventually own the summer
house. That's the summer house. Yeah, the summer house. That would be a great turn of events.
But look, how old is Kyle? I mean, how he acts?
or how old are you? I think he's like 36, 37?
He's not, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Wow, the audience came alive. Wow.
Yeah, they'll get on you if you get things wrong.
He acts, he acts 28, he's 42.
Kyle's only got five good summers left, so...
He's 42. My whole point with that, like, as far as the age thing goes,
I don't care how old you are, but you get to a certain point where
if you're in a marriage, and I feel like Amanda has given exactly what
she needs from him, right? She's been pretty straightforward. I want to move to the suburbs.
I want a family. I want to get out of the city. Why the fuck do you have to stay in the city
this late in your life? I get it. If you live in New York, fine. Totally. I get it. But if your
wife is saying, let's move to the burbs and start a family and you're holding on to the fact
that you're like, but I want to go out with the boys downtown. You don't understand. New York
is like the number one connected place in the world. I feel like he's about to cry about
how cool New York is. But Amanda's, like, it's all the women in somewhere else, all the women in
Bravo. They've been open and honest
with what they want. Yes. Like Amanda's
never changed. Lindsay even has
not changed. She's always been the person she
is. Let's get that.
Yeah, can we answer the phone? Hey, can we answer it?
No, can we? That's Kyle.
Kyle's calling. FaceTime, though. I'll answer it.
Hello? I'm not really. I'll call them back.
Now coming to the stage, Kyle's mom.
Yeah.
It's just Sanibald's mom, yeah.
Terry? What happened?
That's too far?
No.
We got to find the line.
Wait, there's a line there.
Apparently, there's a line there.
For our podcast?
Allegedly.
How much do you cut out of our podcast?
There's a line.
No, I'm just kidding.
Not a lot.
I cut out a lot of ums and butts.
All right.
Yeah.
Rock on.
But look, I just, I think that Kyle and Amanda are an integral part of the house.
I think that everyone kind of looks to them as the center of the house.
I'm just curious, there needs to be a breaking point.
And I feel like we've had this same conversation.
with them of what's next, what's next, what's next.
Amanda's not happy with certain things.
And yet each summer, we see the same shit over and over again.
At what point is something going to give?
And do you think that is Kyle actually being like, all right, I hear you.
I'm going to actually try and meet you halfway?
Or do you think that eventually this is going to lead to a split between the two of them?
Well, I hope it doesn't lead to a split.
But even in this week's preview, Kyle's like throwing things.
He's crying outside.
He's like, you don't understand how hard I work.
so I do get nervous because Amanda is only going to put up with so much more
and I have a feeling that she's not going to want to split up with him ever on camera
because she sees like the ghost of Christmas future with Lindsay and Carl
so why would you ever want to put yourself in that position
but at the same time you can see that she is exhausted she's exhausted
she's like I just asked you not to come home at 4 in the morning he's still doing that
no he came over 355 yeah come on
But I think that was the funniest part
is he actually got home at 305.
He just spent 45 minutes listening to Hans Zimmer,
which by the way, which by the way, sick.
That's incredible.
That sounds like a great night.
Eating what the fuck was, what kind of allios?
He was like, I'm about to throw up on sour patch kids.
No, it was, it was a specific type of Oreo.
It was like the vanilla Oreos maybe.
No, whatever he said was wrong.
It was wrong.
It was definitely wrong.
But he was eating Oreos in the kitchen
listening to Hans Zimmer fell asleep for a little while,
woke up, came upstairs, and then said
it was 3.55. You could have
walked in and said, I was actually home
at 3. That's better.
What do you think it makes Amanda feel good?
That's a lot better. When Amanda watches it back and she
sees he's listening to Hans Zimmer, like,
I think that actually works in his favor.
I bet you when she watched that, she's like, you're
an idiot. You actually got home an hour before that.
Yeah, but you didn't want to be with
me. You got home, but you
didn't want to be up with me. I'm sorry, have you ever
heard Hans Zimmer?
I'd rather be with Hans Zimmer than anybody.
Have you seen Dune 2?
You don't under Oppenheimer, dude.
Yeah, bro.
It was amazing.
Yeah.
No, I appreciate that, but he's still living under fraternity rules.
And he's a married person, you know, and he's also on this show.
I don't know, but I get nervous because I love both of them separately.
Sometimes I don't see why I should love them together.
That's fair.
Fair.
That's fair.
Let's keep going, because we could probably talk about those two all night.
But the next one we need to talk about,
and we've been talking about it for a while.
Are we going up the chart or down the chart right now?
Are we going from, like, strongest relationship to...
We're doing a you.
Was this planned out?
And back up to the top.
Huh?
Was this planned out?
No.
All right, all right.
But that's okay.
The second one we're going to talk about is Craig and Paige.
We feel the same way.
They're great.
We want them.
to last forever. I'm getting to a point. Craig and Page, they're awesome together. But
every single time they broke this topic, and they're doing it too much, like every time we have
to watch this, it's the same fucking conversation. They're not moving forward at all. Are they
getting to a point now? Because I thought that Craig made some pretty salient points in this most
recent episode where they're talking, and he does have somewhat of a timeline in which, you know,
I'm 35. I don't want to have a kid at 40. And what I love about Craig is,
especially in the past few years, is he's so emotionally in touch with himself now that he's able
to verbalize things better. He's like, at 40 years old, if I have my first kid, it's going to
start to develop resentment. And I don't want that with you. So at that point, I think that we
need to go our separate ways. He's vocal about things. I feel like every single time that he brings
up this topic, he makes decent points, and he's met with, I'm still figuring it out, which is
fine. But at what point does it need to be a firm? Like, that's great. You need to figure yourself
out page has every right to do so you want to stay in new york you're doing your thing that's
awesome good for page and she's killing it that's a great thing but with this relationship there needs
to be a step forward it's been three years right right help me yes somewhere in there two three
years what you get somebody has a calendar two years eight months 36 days and six hours no so i just
you know i'd love to get your guys opinion is are we getting to the point now where we're
close to shit or get off the pot moment, if you will.
Well, I feel like they keep their, I feel like, yeah,
it's like Elton John playing Rocket Man.
It's the greatest hits.
It's the same scene again and again.
But I do believe that they have a stronger relationship
than most of the relationships on Bravo.
I agree.
But I just feel like they're almost putting it on now a bit.
Like, we get it.
She's not going to move yet.
You're not going to get married yet.
But every time you see them in social media or outside of the show,
they seem one of the stronger couples of Bravo.
So I have no doubt they're going to get married.
I just sometimes have a doubt of how real those scenes that we see are.
Because it seems like they actually have a really...
And Craig is so horny for Paige.
His hands are...
There was one scene.
I watched these shows way too much.
He was like in the G-string, like on a bed with his hand dipped in.
I was like, sir, please, this is a family show.
Is that a family show?
don't talk about my family
wait
also how much
how much uncensored nudity have we seen
on Summerhouse this year
every fucking week
like ladies ladies ladies guys it's like
male ass right are we happy for the male ass
a lot of male wow
we got male ass we've got
Danielle ass we've got balloon dick
we've got everything
balloon go guy Joe ass yeah
we call him Joey loons around here
I do actually I do actually think that wherever he shows up
he's just like, hey, do you have a condom?
He's like, I've got something better than that.
And he whips out a balloon.
That's your party gift.
He makes you a balloon animal after he's done fucking.
Daniel's doorknob, there's a big, like, jumbo, you know?
There's a giraffe hanging on the door.
Gabby's like, how dare you?
I want a bicycle clown.
Oh, my God.
Well, look, I want them to work out.
I'm not sold on the fact that they're going to get married.
I'm really not.
The more I see of this same conversation,
I...
I don't know.
Wait, hold on, hold on.
The way that I would do it is,
it's like Billy Joel at MSJ.
Okay.
He's there all the time.
Everything's a slightly different.
Every time we have this fucking conversation,
it's the same conversation all the time.
Nobody actually picked up on the reference
that he made the rock band thing.
I just did Billy Joel and MSJ.
Yeah.
But he's every single time we hear this conversation,
it's the same thing with one slight wrinkle.
And the wrinkle is that Craig is losing patience.
Yeah, that's a good point.
And it's just because he's tired of having the conversation.
I don't think he's actually losing patience with Paige.
I think he's just tired of talking about it because they have to talk about it so much.
And you don't actually have to do that in this season in the Summer House because there's enough else going on.
Like, you can just enjoy yourself.
When you go back to Southern Charm, you have to talk about it more.
But I think Craig's kink is also a very firm woman.
Like, no, I think he gets, like, think about Naomi was the same way.
Yeah.
Like Craig likes to be told no.
Craig likes to be told wait.
Don't kinkshame here, by the way.
No, I'm just saying, like, I think he genuinely,
that those are the women that he's the most attracted to,
because Craig has a dream life.
One of the best-looking dudes on Bravo.
Successful business.
Way taller in person.
He's so tall.
Wait.
You finish.
Just a tall drink of water.
Like, I mean, like, best friends with Austin.
You know, that's amazing.
Well, that's great.
Yeah, that's amazing.
No shit.
So we went, uh, pillows and beer did a podcast in Philly.
and Craig invited us out,
so we got to go hang out with them
in the green room beforehand.
I'm, you know, I'm like six foot.
I'm not a short guy.
We actually talked to the meet and greeters
about this earlier.
You talked to the meeting greeters
about how tall you were?
No, no, no, no.
I was going to say 5-11 on a good day,
but, you know.
I'm six foot on the nose.
Check my baseball card.
Six one in cleats, baby.
We all know they inflate.
No, no, no.
But my point is, like,
I didn't realize how tall these guys were
and you stand up.
I felt like a child.
We're taking pictures.
so I'm like, can you fucking sit down?
I was tapping steel on the shoulder.
I'm like, sit down, sit down, sit down, we can't do that.
We got to sit.
This is embarrassing, but.
I've tried to get that, but I said, please, will you get Craig to unblock me?
Because I've been blocked by Craig for, like, the last couple of years,
and I feel like I speak very highly about him.
But, like, the whole reason that you were blocked is the funniest thing ever.
Well, because I kept doing the meme of, uh, there's only one man that can represent
and I would have his lawyer photo.
And it would any, any legal case, I would be like, there's only one man.
They can, like, rectify Erica Jane, and it would be his...
Because he took these law photos for Conover law firm, like,
don't get run over, call Conover.
And I did that meme way too many times.
He got blocked.
And I also did a change.org where I asked for Austin to stop being on Summerhouse.
But I did a change.org, and it got 8,000 signatures.
And I think that also...
I think that also didn't help.
Anything.
Wait.
Yeah.
You got 8,000 signatures?
It was a very passionate fan base.
Yeah.
That's fucking hysterical.
Let's keep plugging away.
The next one we got to talk about is one of our favorite newcomers is West.
Yeah, he's great.
And Sierra.
Less claps.
Significantly less clas for Sierra.
Yeah, a lot of less clas for Sierra.
But I want to get y'all's take.
on this relationship
or if you can start there
what are they
a situation ship right
but you're also on camera and like
I can't imagine ever having your first
time be in a summer house house
and they have to like put like your like jersey
over a camera like that's
Sierra deserves way better than that
like I agree I agree
this isn't even about
as far as like the sex part of it and all that
that's a different story
what I'm talking about is more so
with this news coming out
that he's still talking to other girls
and texting other girls,
it seems like the house is on the same page
where it's like, you know,
they're not really exclusive,
but you see them in the house together
and they are very much like together?
I guess my question for you guys
is more so, is West in the wrong?
No.
I agree.
How do you think Sierra's going to take it?
Not well.
But that's the problem.
Those things are like inverse of each other.
And if he's, if they're not having the conversation of we're exclusive, we're going to do this, we're going to do whatever we want to do, then he can do that.
And no one else can get mad at him about that, especially somebody like Paige who's going to sit down and talk to him and say, if you're talking to other girls, I will literally kill you.
No.
But it also feels like their communication must be so poor.
Well, their communication is they're just happy to be with each other for what it is.
And they never talk about anything else.
And it's because West is afraid.
and Steele and I talked about this last week, West is afraid to broach that subject because
just in case, Sierra says, well, I don't want anything serious. Then he pulls away. And Sierra is
not asking about that because she doesn't really want that right now. But wouldn't you risk,
if Sierra was so special, wouldn't you risk the hurt and just say, you know what, I'm going
to? Absolutely. I think you definitely would, but I don't know what West's psyche is. Well,
counterpoint, counterpoint. You don't understand the nuances. Let the boys, wait, let's
the boys talking out here.
Shut up.
This is the dumbest shit ever.
When you start...
Oh, I got married to my high school sweetheart.
Fight, fight, fight, fight.
I did.
Oh, fuck.
No, this whole bullshit...
I get relationships, all right?
You fucking idiot.
This is backstage listening to this B-ass right now.
Yeah.
She deserves better.
But no, I'm going to make a point here
because the whole bullshit of labels
and everyone wants to play semantics
when it comes to dating and shit,
like, we're exclusive,
but we're not boyfriend and girlfriend.
What the fuck does that mean?
You're dating, your boyfriend and girlfriend.
Like, I hate that everyone tries to, like, weasel through it.
Yeah.
Wrong.
False.
Wrong.
If it makes you feel better to say, we are not this, but we're exclusive.
Don't talk to anybody else or we're over, but we're not boyfriend and girlfriend.
If that makes you feel better, great.
But it's no different than the actual situation of being boyfriend and girlfriend.
I can see the vein in your neck popping.
It's popping.
It's fun to feel an audience turn.
It's fun to feel like, wow.
They'll shift.
They'll shift.
They'll shift.
Tear this place apart.
They'll definitely, yeah.
You know, it's ebbs and flows.
Ebs and flows.
I'm not going to take a pole.
Ebs and flows.
I heard you.
Last one we got to talk about.
Oh, God is right.
Oh, God is right.
Because this is a volatile topic.
Lindsay and Carl.
Yeah, let's do this first.
Let's get this out of the way immediately.
Team Lindsay make some noise.
Team Carl makes some noise.
Okay, we're going to go down the line.
Ryan, where do you stand?
Well, I feel like West should actually tell Sierra that, no, this is really hard.
It's very difficult.
So I just talked to Lindsay yesterday.
It's going to be on my show on Sunday.
And they're filming the reunion today.
It's already probably over by now.
And you can really tell, I mean, listen, those first couple of episodes, and like I told her in this interview,
were really hard to watch.
And to take sobriety out of it,
which is a big thing to take out of it
because that's such a big part of Carl's life,
which I think he's inspired so many people.
But as you go further into the season
and you get to see a little bit more,
is that it's just a relationship
that shouldn't have been happening to begin with
because Lindsay,
unfortunately now has to be in a position
of watching how many conversations Carl has had
with everybody but her.
Like everybody, like family.
like family friends and it is so humiliating on top of something that and people are like well
she should see it she should see like she really thought this man made a commitment for better or
worse it doesn't sometimes excuse her behavior but lindsay also pointed out in the after show
was like listen i've always been this person for better or worse carl knew that carl was my best friend
i always knew that and she talked about the interview too about carl's parents about watching that
She's like, I was like, Carl's mom's phone call
when Carl was like fucked up.
Like, please watch after my boy.
Please watch out.
Like, it was very hard to watch that.
And I try to put myself in that spot.
And it really changes things.
At the end of the day, it's so, I'm so thankful they're not together.
What a horrible thing that would have been.
I think that's the main thing too.
But it's hard because Carl, like, you do want the best for him.
He just not did not go about this.
I don't think in the right way.
I don't know what that right way is.
But it seems like he went to everybody.
but the person he was actually engaged to.
Yeah.
I would agree with that.
I think, you know,
I'm more leaning towards the Carl side of the street here.
I think that, like, the, thanks.
Golf clap?
Yeah, I'll take a golf clap.
I'll take a golf clap.
But I think that we can all agree.
We all just agreed.
They should not be together.
Shouldn't have been together.
Watching her behavior early on,
it just that pointed to me,
like, how long has this kind of behavior been going on?
You know what I mean?
Is this just popping up?
I don't believe so.
No, we've seen Lindsay the same, very similar.
I agree with that, but I think that, you know, it goes to the point of something I don't like on these shows in general is when people start to date somebody or get close to somebody or take the next step with somebody that has a past, right?
They have a history of being shady or being erratic or whatever it may be.
People love to use the trope of you knew what you were getting into.
Yeah, but you expect and assume that during a healthy relationship, you're going to take steps forward to better yourself.
So I don't know if it's fair to always use that.
Like, obviously, there's extenuating circumstances.
If you get married to Jack's Taylor, you know what you're getting into.
But...
How dare you?
Wraught in hail.
No.
How dare you?
But I just...
I think that when you take that step to get engaged,
you're assuming that both of you are going to start to grow.
And I think it's really difficult, as you pointed out, the sobriety part of it.
Because Carl is 100% looking inward right now.
He's trying to figure out his next.
next steps in life sober. Meanwhile, Lindsay's not on that same page because she's not on this
life journey. So it's really hard to meet in the middle there. So I think that, again, we can sum it up
with whatever side of the streets you land on. These two should not be together and thank God
they're no longer together. But should Kyle and Amanda be together? That's a good point. I think so.
Yeah? I think so. Well, let me start off by saying that neither of you took aside.
You're both fucking bipartisan Switzerland-ass fucks. So no. Andy Cohen.
That's not a take.
Andy going.
Classic podcasting technique.
Never take a side.
I think it's really funny that we started off by saying
Carl has taken a silence.
To start the season, he didn't say a word.
And Lindsay was out in the press
and she was talking about everything constantly.
And we all were,
everybody was told we're going to figure out
what happens as the season goes on.
During the Volvo Fall Experience event,
discover exceptional offers and thoughtful design
that leaves plenty of room for autumn adventure.
and see for yourself how Volvo's legendary safety
brings peace of mind to every crisp morning commute.
This September,
leased a 2026 XE90 plug-in hybrid
from $599 bi-weekly at 3.99%
during the Volvo Fall Experience event.
Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer
or go to explorevolvo.com.
It got Willa.
They got my daughter.
I need to find her.
Willa!
From acclaimed director of Paul Thomas Anderson.
You can save.
that girl.
On September 26th, experience what is being called the best movie of the year.
This is at the end of the line.
Not for you.
Leonardo DiCaprio, Sean Pan, Benicio del Toro, Tiana Taylor, Chase Infinity.
Let's go!
Here I come!
One battle after another.
Only in theater, September 26th.
Experience it in IMAX.
You came back.
I'm Amy Nicholson, the film critic for the L.A. Times.
And I'm Paul Shear, an actor, writer, and director.
You might know me from the league.
Big Veepe or my non-eligible for Academy Award role in Twisters.
We come together to host Unspooled, a podcast where we talk about good movies, critical hits.
Fan favorites, must-season, and case you missed them.
We're talking Parasite the Home Alone.
From Greece to the Dark Night.
So if you love movies like we do, come along on our cinematic adventure.
Listen to Unschooled wherever you get your podcast.
And don't forget to hit the follow button.
We saw the first couple episodes and we said, oh, fuck Lindsay.
She's blaming his sobriety.
accusing him of doing drugs, everything up the, whatever the hell she's doing.
And now it's starting to even out.
And it's a lot more interesting when you get into how everything's playing out,
where we see Carl just laying these pieces out on the table.
And yeah, I get it that it's a reality TV show.
But him going to his parents on TV and talking about his relationship with them is a fucking
try me move.
Like it is a, I need everybody to see where I'm coming from.
I went and cried to my parents in Pittsburgh.
Like, dude, you're a fucking pussy.
Go out and just do it.
Like, go talk to your wife.
Go talk to your fiance and figure it out.
I mean, by the end, you can tell you can't cry to your parents.
You're 38 years old.
He's visibly scared of Lindsay.
Like, he's visibly...
Is there...
All right, so, like, what do we actually think that he's afraid of?
Well, the thing is...
Her yelling at him?
Part of it, yeah.
It can just be as simple as that.
Like, honestly, that'll...
I don't think so...
So, knowing look, they gave each other.
You can tell one of these guys yells at each other.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm so scared of him.
help the rants on the podcast or a cry for help security we need to get seal off the stage no
but no i like that's what i'm just saying is like everything that we see from carl is
him just trying to talk to other people about his relationship everything we see from lindsay is
yeah horrible in the beginning but we're starting to see her try to piece it together oh i still
talk shit she's trying to get excited about the wedding and he's just trying to break up with her
Well, it's like usual suspects, though.
At the end of this season,
she's going to piece it all together of like,
this guy's been talking about me to everybody.
Well, like,
he should be in jail.
He's canceled.
What the fuck?
He's gone, Ryan.
Why would you bring up Kevin Spacey?
You go to Barry's bootcap and the Hamptons.
They all know about it before Lindsay.
That's actually true.
That's very true.
No, the most telling scene this season,
this episode was when they pulled back,
Carl, like, motions to the cameras.
And they pull back and we see the two cameras with four people.
And that's the insanity is that's going on in Carl's head.
So he is not manipulating the storyline, but he is so cognizant of all of this.
And that's really hard.
Reality TV, baby.
How about that?
All right.
The last thing that we're going to talk about, then we're going to get our special guests out here because you guys came to see them, not us.
Let's be real.
We understand.
But let's just do a quick walkthrough of this week's Valley.
Who's watching The Valley?
Yeah.
Who the fuck would have thought this show would be so good?
I did.
One guy.
I was the only person that said don't shit on it before you actually see it.
One guy said that.
We ripped it to shreds until we saw it.
And they were like, fuck, we were wrong.
Like, this show is great.
We were of the mind of VPR has to be good because of what happens.
It's just raw emotion and we're going to see it play out.
Instead, we saw a lot of production.
The Valley is just raw emotion with people we don't even know.
And that's the best part about reality TV.
I've never met these people before.
I have no idea who the fuck they are.
Their marriage is crumbling.
Hell yeah.
I'm in.
You know three good reality shows in the audience right now.
Like it's just like right place, right time.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Absolutely.
And the fact that you're going to throw either Michael Bay
or Quentin Tarantino out there, I'm in.
Could you imagine Quentin Tarantino is on season two of the Valley?
Oh, my God.
Jacks, what's going on, Jacks?
You're crazy.
All right, now let's get one more of your feet
And then we'll just see how it goes
Yeah, actually though
But let's talk about Jesse and Michelle a little bit
And we've seen this out of the gate
The instant villain was Jesse
Right? It was pretty clear this guy's a huge asshole
As the season starts to play out, there's more to the story
And this is why the show is so fucking captivating
Because now you've got Michelle
Who's moving in the background a little bit
Who potentially is hanging out with either Quentin Tarantino
Or Michael Bay
So, these two are reality TV gold,
but I just, I want to get you guys take on,
obviously they got divorced.
What are we about to find out?
Because there's obviously rumors about the cheating.
We got text rumors from Jack's, shocker.
Right?
The one guy to blow the lid off is the dude that's out there
still banging chicks on the side.
Like, that doesn't make a lot of sense.
Wait, wait.
Very, like, slightly unrelated.
Did you see that Jason from VPR was on, like,
some sort of talk shell, and they gave him a title, and it said
Reality Star. Oh, my God.
Tom's drummer, Jason. Not Jason on the show.
No, no, not John, not, yeah, yeah. Jason Bader?
Jason Bader, who this man...
Is that really his last name? I swear to God.
No, fucking funny. His brother's master.
Yes.
Thank you, Ryan, for taking the low-hanging fruit.
I thought Steele was going to take that. You just didn't do it.
I thought our audience is intelligent enough to understand.
that was a masturbation joke.
You think that we're highbrow?
Oh, well, I guess that's lowbrow.
Never mind.
No, that's low, never mind.
Yeah, highbrow jerk off jokes.
That's a great, great humor.
Pontificate a little bit more, pal.
Full circle.
But with the Jesse and Michelle thing, back to the rumors.
Do you think that she cheated?
Do you...
Okay, moving on.
Wait, emotional or physical.
Emotional or physical? Yeah.
Both.
I show of hands.
I can't hear everybody.
You didn't ask a question.
Yeah, I didn't say, which.
You guys are all idiots.
You all fell for it.
You're all morons.
All of you fell for it.
But I don't even care anymore.
I just wanted to see who was stupid.
A lot of you.
It's okay.
Thanks for buying tickets, guys.
Yeah, we love you.
But with those two,
obviously stuff's going to come out.
We're going to figure out what's going on.
I guess my question,
do you think that this is a result
of Jesse checking out after the kid was born?
COVID opened up.
He went back out there.
He was doing his own thing.
Left her with the...
the kid and now she's like, fuck this guy. I'm doing my own thing. Or do you think that she was
checked out of this a long time ago? Even when she talks about the origin story, origin of
their relationship, it was a booty call that she got wrong. Like, she was like, I didn't even like
him. And then I was married to him and had a kid. Kind of. And then the pandemic happened.
And it seems like, it just seems like from the get go. And she really does not like him.
Yeah. Nor should she. Nor should she. Nor should.
but she does not like him at all
and I think that doesn't
excuse cheating but you can see why it happened
well he's better at hockey than the other
guys on the show he's better
he's the worst at golf he's ever
been and he's still better than everybody
yeah cap three oh fuck him seriously
but they both they already both have like girlfriends and boyfriends
so season two should be great well hold on
hold on what did you take of his Instagram story where he's
talking about Lala
and he said that like there's a short guy out here
By the way, a short guy, an average, an average guy is 56.
5.6.5.
Which, no shame to any guys out there if you are 5, 6, or blow.
But, like, that's the average?
Wait, wait.
No.
Hold on.
Who here saw that post?
So not that many.
Oh, my God.
People don't want to admit to following Jesse Lally.
That's probably true.
You don't even have to, you don't even have to follow him.
Everybody else reposted it.
Yeah.
And it was just weird enough that, one, in the second episode of the Valley, we get him
talking to Lala and calling her his wife.
Oh, that's right.
He called her his mistress.
Which usually in VPR land, if Lala is called a mistress,
she loses her fucking lid in Valley.
She's like, oh, Jesse.
Oh, Lala must have been thrilled to be mentioned in that post.
I think it's Lauren on Valley.
Sorry, yeah, yeah.
The softer side of Lala kids, yes.
Yeah, Lauren.
And then, yeah, we forget that Jesse pinched
Doty's nipple, too.
That was fucking wild.
Yeah, the guy, look.
That was a whole episode.
Like, that's how good this show is.
It was just about pinching nipples.
And Luke was like, how dare you pinch your nipple?
That's my nipple.
We slept together outside of a tent.
The first night we met, dude, that's mine.
Like, it is fascinating.
And so, also, how many weddings have you gone to that there's tents just around?
Do you haven't been to a tent wedding?
I don't go to, like, pixie weddings.
Is that what that is?
No, I think a tent, well, hold on.
In the funny way, ha-ha,
people are in tents camping, ha-ha, no.
But the actual...
Wait, who was laughing at that?
No, like, tents.
Was anybody laughing at that?
No, no, I did. It's okay.
You know, like the big tent.
You put the big tent up outside?
No, that's...
I don't think that's what they were talking.
They said behind a tent.
Yeah, a fucking big tent.
Assuming there were more tents.
Should I call Doty right now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Should we try?
Weirdly enough, weirdly enough,
I heard a lot of nose.
Yeah. No, no.
God forbid, we get Doty to call.
No.
Luke just seems so
like Luke did the show just so he could continue
to sleep with Kristen Doty.
Like he seems like he loves it so much.
Well look, you even said this in the green room.
He just got electricity.
He's probably never a time.
Yeah, they just got running water in Colorado.
So he's like blown away.
It was just a huge gildo that they pulled from the fucking, yeah.
They have to mention sex in the beginning of every scene.
Oh, my God.
Every single scene, it's like, that's our drawer.
That's where we keep our sex toys.
It's like, we got to have that.
We've got a whole other room for sex stuff.
I love you so much, especially having sex with you.
But the last thing we need to talk about in the Valley,
we'll get the real stars out here.
But Jackson, Brittany, obviously.
We need to talk about Jackson, Brittany.
And you can still feel their energy from the correspondence dinner.
They were just, like, right down the road.
Dude, what are we doing?
That clip was the best thing ever.
It was...
Where Jackson's talking...
First off, do you even know what C-SPAN is?
Never heard of.
I have no idea.
Did you know that you can find it on cable?
I have no idea.
What do you think about Joe Biden tonight?
What do you think for his next term?
I don't get involved in politics.
Yeah, I fucking bet.
That's a good move.
What do you think about the movie drive?
That's the smartest thing that Jacks has ever done.
That's the smartest thing that Jacks has ever done.
Not getting involved in politics.
Great, Jax.
I'm happy for you.
How about we talk about the Carolina?
Oh, yeah, I know about Carolina games.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
What do you think about the Stanley Cup?
Oh, Carolina's got it, baby.
And then you get Brittany.
And Brittany has no idea.
What were they talking about Harvey Weinstein's getting overturned?
And Britney's like, I don't know about, like, how the fuck are these two at the White House
Correspondence Dinner?
What are we doing, guys?
Like, what the fuck?
It went from Ariana last year to this.
Yeah.
Why?
Who's much well read, but I do love the idea that whatever the correspondent is that's
asking them these questions, they're honing in on them because they want those clips.
Absolutely.
They want those clips more than we want wall.
They want to go over and be like,
oh, this motherfucker over here
has no idea what's going on.
He doesn't even know why he's invited.
I don't know why he's invited.
Why the fuck is Jack's there?
Somebody defended them in our comments
and they go,
The Daily Mail has a table,
so that's why they're there.
It's not that hard.
Here's the Daily Mail.
We have a 10-person table.
Let's get the biggest dumbasses
that we've ever met in our entire lives
over at this table
and we'll ask them very specific questions
and get the funniest clips ever.
And that's what they do.
It works.
And you know what?
Kudos to them.
Cadoos.
But true to form, though.
Jack's in his social media.
He was like filming Britney, like pulling up her top.
And she was like, Jack, don't film me yet.
Don't film me.
And he still posted it.
Oh, yeah.
Because he's a piece of shit.
He still posted it.
But I think that's the funny thing about the Valley is when we started the season and we heard that they were separated, we're like, oh, it's for the show.
they're just trying to drum up some interest.
And then the show got really good
and their ratings skyrocketed.
I'm like, wait, why are they still separated
if the ratings are so good?
Oh, fuck, were we wrong?
Yeah.
Is this real?
I think it's real.
Like, we thought that everything was fake.
Everything that we heard was completely fake.
And then we realized, oh, my God, this is actually real.
Look, this makes a lot of sense.
I think we can all agree since her time
coming on to Vanderpump.
Like, Brittany wants to be on TV.
Yeah.
Okay, she wants to be on TV.
It's pretty obvious.
However, the shit that she has to put
up with from Jacks Taylor is tough to watch. Like, it's not fair. All she wants, desperately,
desperately. She just wants a partner. She just wants somebody to meet her in the middle. Like,
hey, help me out a little bit. And Jacks comes up with excuse after excuse. Well, they have a date
night. He takes her to a tantric sex counselor. Yes. What about, like, dinner in a movie? Like,
you don't even start there? She was like, I thought I was going to a yoga class. Do we have to have
sex on a bed? Like, it was. We have to have sex in front of them? It's like the simplest things
they can't do.
Like, just start small,
like an apple bees or something like that.
And he just can't do it.
Wait, wait, wait.
Applebee's has,
wait, is it Chili's,
it's Chili's that has the best.
Chili's.
The best espresso margarita.
Chili's.
Yeah.
The best espresso margarita.
So, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Shina will serve you.
Martini.
All right, all, all right,
everybody chill out.
Especially martini.
Sorry.
Special martini.
I don't indulge.
I'm not into drugs.
All right.
Well, I think we've rambled on long enough.
So I think it's time to get the real stars out here.
What you said?
Should we get it up?
Hi, I'm here to tell you about good morning night veil.
Welcome to Nightvale's official recap show and unofficial best friend food podcast.
Join me, Meg Bashwinner and fellow try hosts, Hal Lublin and Symphony Sanders,
as we dissect all of the cool, squishy, and slimy bits of every episode of Welcome to Nightvale.
Come for the insightful and hilarious commentary and stay for all of the weird and wild behind-the-scenes
stories. Good morning Night Vale, with new episodes every other Thursday. Get it wherever you get your
podcasts. Yes, even there. Here, the most popular fiction podcast of all time, which the New York Times
described as what might occur if David Lynch was a producer at your local radio station. Welcome
to Night Vale is a twice-monthly update from a small desert town, where the paranormal is real.
Every conspiracy theory is true. We all have to get on with.
our lives anyway. Welcome to Night Vale is available wherever you get your podcasts.