Bros & Shows - The Valley Premiere Full Recap

Episode Date: March 22, 2024

What's Up Bros?!?! Jax Taylor has officially invaded our screens again as we sat down to watch The Valley. First reaction? Not too bad! Both of us feel like this show has some potential. A lot of potential ways for it to go south as well... But all in all it was a decent premier. We get to meet the whole cast and we already see some red flags... Jesse and Michelle... Jason and Janet look like our voices of reason. Is Luke cut out for reality tv?? Doute and Jax return to the spotlight as we see the family dynamics of everyone. There's a lot of tension, lot's of drama and lots of ways for this show to be succesful. But there are also a lot of potential pit falls. Time will tell but all in all? A solid premier Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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none of you are safe. New episodes every Wednesday, wherever you get your podcasts. As there's a drive in a deep left field by Castellanos, it will be... Oh, man, it's 8 o'clock. And so that'll make it a... I don't need the spotlight. I shine just fine.

Hi, I'm Karma. And yes, I am a bitch. Brov Bros. Good afternoon, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Brav Bros, your favorite podcast from the Bros for everybody. For whoever wants to listen, I am your co-host, Steele Russell. joined as always by the one and only Scootie Madduty. Scootie Madduty. What's good?

That's fine. That's fine. Busy day for the bros. Very busy day for the bros. We are pumping out a lot of content. Oh, I don't like that. I don't like pumping out content. I don't like pumping iron.

I don't say that. I don't say that by the eye. I know, but like, do you have a problem with it? I say all aboard the gain train swallows the goal. Those are things that I say. I don't say pumping iron. Yeah, those aren't bad. Those aren't bad.

Anyway, pumping out a lot of content today. We, yeah, it's my fault. Look, I'll just hand up my fault. I'm going to a bachelor party. I'll be at March Madness in Pittsburgh this weekend, Thursday through Sunday. So we need to make sure that our listeners are fed. You know, we've got to keep you guys. We don't want to keep you too hungry.

We'll feed you baby birds. Yeah, that's okay. Yeah, can't be pumping out content, but we'll feed baby birds. Yeah, no, not that they are our baby birds. It is our nest of listeners that we need to feed. but a little gross when you think about how baby birds are fed but yep well if you think about it we're regurgitating content this week so it tracks but uh we are doing the valley this episode which look i was hesitant and i did like the trailer i admitted that i was very i wasn't even

cautiously optimistic about this one i was just cautiously going into this i didn't hate it as much as i thought i would i didn't think it was exceptional tv I think that there is a product here that can work. I think they have to do a lot of things very right. And I think there's a lot of pitfalls that they could easily fall into that could just tank this show. But it wasn't as bad as I thought. How about you? So I actually think that I'm going to enjoy hate watching this.

Okay. Rather than OC this year, which was just hate, hate watching it. Well, that was, yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, that's the bar that we're trying to break. And as long as it's not worse than that, I'll be okay. I do think, I think you're right. I think it has some components that kind of set it apart.

And we weren't really sure what we were going to get into. Again, I keep coming back to that stupid tagline that they had where they say a couple of 40-year-olds are just giving their best shot at adulting. It's like they're 40. They should be adults already. But stupid, whatever. And I think it does have a pretty good premise as far as separating itself from the rest of what's out there for Bravo. I agree. Those standalone shows, you know, you can kind of remove blow deck.

You can remove like Top Chef, things like that. when you're looking at like VPR, Southern Charm, real girlfriends in Paris, bring that back up. RIP, R.I.P. Oh, like, you know what? I actually think that might be coming back because I was talking to somebody else who finished Summerhouse and it went right into Real Girlfriends in Paris. So I'm thinking they're trying to gear it back up. Maybe they just took like a little hiatus to re-evaluate some wrong with that. Yeah. There's not unless they try to fuck with it too much because I thought it was good.

I thought they just needed to see what it would turn into. Back-to-back episodes. Yeah. We're really lobbying for it. That's how much we liked it. Anyway, but I do think that it can set it apart because this is pretty much what they were going for. These are people who graduated from things. Now, obviously, a lot of them were going to ask back and they were kicked off the show, but they're graduated from reality TV. And now they're doing things with their children, which is a different space than what Bravo usually does.

This is more like TLC almost. So if Bravo can do it right and they can differentiate themselves, I think it's good. We're just going to have to find the right groove here with the right people. Yeah. And I think that that's an interesting take. is this is the first show that they're really hammering home, the children aspect. Everybody's pregnant, trying to get pregnant. There's children everywhere.

Yeah. So, oh, my God. Wait, speaking of family, I need to talk about this first before we get into the valley. So on a flight with Poppy, when we were coming back to Philly, all right, we sat behind. It was the fucking Brady bunch. I don't know who this goddamn family was, but I was in line next to them when I was getting on the plane. it was mom and dad and five kids. Okay.

Ages. One was a teenager. Then you have like 12, 10, 7, 3. Okay. All right. So they get on this plane and I've had a really long day. When I fly to Texas, I leave Philly at like 6 a.m. I get to Texas.

I have to drive two hours. I go pick up pop. I drive two hours back, get on a plane. We fly back the same day. Okay. So that's my day. So I'm already, I'm on the back end of it. We got a three hour flight back to.

to Philly, drive home, I'm good. I just got to make this fucking flight. We get delayed, all right, of course. We get delayed from three in the afternoon. We don't take off till six. I am gassed. I'm hanging on for dear life. Poppy is the best traveler in the world.

She's a trooper, so we're cool. But we get on the plane. And of course, the family of seven is sitting in front of me. That's fine. I don't have an issue with that. Except the fact that there's three on my left, okay, like directly in front of me, and then three on my right, directly in front of me. directly in front of me the teenager is just behind me this family goes on to talk across the aisle

at full volume for the entire flight not to mention it is 8 p.m it is dark it's been a really long day everyone on the flight is frustrated because we've been delayed they all have their fucking lights on they're the only ones on the plane they're the only ones on everyone else in the plane realized okay long day let's shut it down everyone quiet let's calm down this family's talking at full volume. All of their lights are on. The mom is speaking across the aisle to the child at the window seat going, oh, honey, blah. And that's, there's a certain type of parent that has to talk louder when they're interacting with their kids because they want everyone to know how good of a parent they are. And if you pay attention, you'll hear these people. They're in the grocery

store a lot. You get a lot of grocery store moms and dads that like to speak at louder volumes to let everybody know that they're doing a good job parenting. But that's a different story for a different day. But anyway, she's one of these moms and she's yelling across the aisle to her daughter. I finally start to doze off. I finally, Poppy's knocked out. She's, she's good. She's sleeping. I finally start to doze off. And I'm, I'm awoken by a smell. This fucking family, this awful family has chick-fil-a at 30,000 feet. I'm talking spicy chicken sandwiches. I'm talking buffalo sauce, fucking chick-fil-a sauce, all the smells, all the smells. Another PSA, if you're getting on a flight, don't eat

something that will stink. It's like office rules there. Don't microwave fish, don't you even. Chick-fil-A is not acceptable on a plane. Fast food is not acceptable on a plane. It smells too strong. Yeah, but sometimes you're really hungry and you don't have the time. We were delayed for five

hours. Well, five hours is a long time. You have time to eat in the airport. They waited to get on the plane to eat their fucking chick-fil-a After talking so loud. It was, I shit you not. I'm not going to get mad at me if I do it and I'm running late because I'm typically running late in the airport anyway. Fine. Fine.

If you're delayed that long and you don't decide to eat in the airport and it's to the point where when I get off the plane, my seven-year-old goes, Dad, they were really rude, huh? They didn't stop talking. It's like, you're right, bud. And you had the teenager behind you, so they were probably talking. She was cool.

I have to give her credit. She was on her phone. She stayed to herself. She got it. She was probably trying to get away from that. She got it. The rest of her family, and the dad, of course,

was wearing a fucking underarmor, dry fit shirt, cargo shorts. and thong sandals. Of course. Checks out. And the mom was a lawyer. I know that because she told everybody on the plane. I saw, oh, bro.

Just in case. Bro. Is anybody a lawyer? Bro. It was all of my, all of my, I can't even think of the word, pet peeves. All of my pet peeves wrapped up into one family surrounding me on an airplane after a 15-hour travel day in which I got delayed. Yeah. I hate them.

If you listen. I get that. Yeah. I get that. I fully understand that. I do want to go back to, and I don't want you to discuss it anymore because I fully understand this, your little quip about parents letting the rest of the people around them know that they're good parents by yelling them. That is a really funny thing.

It is a thing. I know, but that's a funny thing to get mad about. And that shows that we're not that different because I like funny things to get mad about. I've got a lot of weird things. It's a funny thing to get mad about. I like it. Yeah. And now to our listeners out there, one, if you are one of those parents, the root of it is you're doing a good job parenting.

I think don't let my tirade push you away from that. And two, for those of you that have not noticed those kinds of parents, pay attention. Grocery store, great spot. You'll spot a lot of them. But anyway, that was my tirade for the day. It was really frustrating. I can appreciate that. Well, I'm glad you got that out before we tackle this episode.

And I don't think you're going to get too angry. No. No. No, I won't get mad about this one because I'm not invested in these characters. Yeah, and you can't be on all the time. You know, you've been on so much for the last couple of weeks. very emotional couple weeks. You need some time to just relax.

No, it's fun. See, we go in waves here. I'm thinking about your blood pressure. Yeah, no, totally. But we go in waves here. We'll have, like, a few serious episodes, and then we can read the temperature, and both of us kind of understand.

It's like, all right, let's lighten up a little bit. It's definitely a lighter kind of mood kind of day. We got three fun episodes. I mean, I'm happy. Marcus and Larsa broke up, so I'm very happy. Thank God. Well, actually, I'm pretty bummed out. I was looking forward to the next episode of separation, anxiety, so.

Oh, true. You know, so. I don't know what I'm going to listen to on my drive the Pittsburgh. I'm probably just going to keep... I might go back and, yeah, that's a good call. Rehash the series. My poor cousin that's going to have to deal with that. Oh, well. Welcome back to another episode of separation anxiety

with me and Marcus, the love of my life. So your dad is Michael Jordan, right? We can't talk about that. We can't talk about Michael. I signed an NDA. I mean, dad. Yeah, hey dad. Anyway, The Valley. Back on Point. So first things first, I thought the transition from VPR to the Valley. I enjoyed that.

I enjoyed Jack's little, you know, confessional on VPR, then he gets up, walks across, and starts a new show. I like that, and it was similar to, to anybody that remembers when they introed VPR back in the day. It was a similar transition into that new show and the spinoff from LVP. But, and I hate, I hate that I'm going to say this. I hate that I'm going to say this because I talked a lot of shit, and I will continue to talk shit about Jack's Taylor. However, there was something about seeing him back on TV and VP.

And there was something about seeing him on the valley. This man's built for reality TV. He's a showman at the end of the day. And we had a hiatus, obviously. And that doesn't mean that we're going to go and watch Jackson Brittany breakdown VPR last year. That sounds terrible to me. But him coming back on TV, starting with VPR, which we'll talk about in another episode

with VPR, and transitioning into this, I didn't mind it. I didn't either. I didn't mind it at all. Didn't either. And I hated myself for it. Well, it's because we both know in a couple of episodes we're going to be like, all right, enough, Jacks. We can't deal with this.

I agree with that. But now I'm curious, like, first and foremost, I love the high road that he's seeming to take right now where he's better than everybody else in his marriage and all this is going so well. And, like, they haven't lived in the same house since January. But I don't know if it's going to wear on me like, God, I can't watch this anymore. Or is it just going to be what Jacks used to be? And he's good reality TV.

Like, he was a fucking nightmare his last couple seasons on Vanderpump. but that was ego driven. And I'm curious since he has addressed his ego, I don't think he's going to hone it in. No. But I wonder if now that it's been spoken about, other people will be quicker to say, yo, dude, you're getting way too big for your britches right now.

Like, settle the fuck down. Or, and what my biggest fear for this season and for this series is and was, is he going to get so intolerable because of his ego because he is essentially the star of the show. I think it could go one of two ways. think he could either, because that's, I mean, that's what happened with VPR is he got to the point where he viewed it as his show.

Yes. And that did not work. And nobody liked that. So he had to go. This is his show. I know. So he might get too big for his bridges. He might realize, okay, this is my show.

So I get to do whatever the hell I want. And that could, that ego, at least from that angle, will be intolerable. Or he's comfortable with the fact that this is his show. And he doesn't have to do too much. And he knows how it works. I'm just saying it could. thinking but you know it's definitely wishful thinking because i think that and that's the thing like i said he's a showman and he knows what he's doing and he's made for reality tv if he feels

like this show's going in the wrong direction he will try his hardest to pull it out and it could be really bad yeah it will be really bad it will be really bad if he does that i'm not giving jack's credit i'm not like pumping him up and i'm not on jack's team where i'm like hell yeah like i'm so glad he's back i'm just saying it wasn't the worst thing in the world seeing him back on tv i don't know why it just it somehow worked but let's get into the episode we start out with the trailer pretty much and that's just introing the crew we get to meet everybody and it's it's such an interesting cast of characters and i actually do enjoy when we do a brand new series it takes me forever to remember everybody's name yep but i do like having a clean slate and just going

into it without having any prior notions of who these people are for the most part obviously we got doughty we've got a couple of vpr crossover the sheen on but, I mean, obviously, Jacks and Brittany, but for the most part, it's a new cast and we're getting to know these people. And I like learning from the beginning. And I like jumping to a snap judgment of somebody and then finding out if I'm, like, correct, or if they are going to change my opinion of them. But we start out with Brittany and Jacks. And I think it's funny. And I think this is going to be a recurring theme with this show that Jacks is going to have to remind us constantly how much of a grown-up he is now and how much he's changed.

and why? Because he lists off all the shit that he's doing for the days. Like, I got, man, I got 27 cameos to do and then we got to do the podcast and the bar opening

and this and that. It's like, yeah, those are all things and those are all financial and monetized and all that good for you. But you're just describing a day in the life

of somebody that works. Pretty much, yeah. I mean, you throw in the cameos too. And look, we've done cameos before. They're not that hard. No.

They take about 30 seconds. 27 cameos. Look, I'm happy for him that he has that many and people want him to do cameos for them. But that doesn't, sound like a really tough day. No, it doesn't at all. You got to record yourself on a phone,

record yourself on a podcast, and then go to your bar, which is it opening that night? I was confused. He said the bar opening, or is he getting ready for the bar opening? I think he's getting ready for the bar opening. I think it was opening within the next couple of weeks. And we know that it is at least open, and there's a lot of people there because I saw a lot of people posting last night from Jacks's bar for the premiere. I could see that doing well, honestly. I could too. And it kind of goes back to the VPR episode where he's sitting there and he's like, I'm not going to talk to Tom and Tom about how to open a bar. You guys have no clue what the fuck you're doing.

Funny. Well, that's funny. Maybe that's why I like seeing him back. As soon as he came back, like you love him or hate him and most people like myself hate him. But he says whatever the fuck you wants. And he says a lot of things, especially to Sanibald that like we all want to say to him.

Like, dude, the whole world's talking shit. Why are you taking umbers with one or two people? Like, thank you for saying that. It's so funny. And I guess that's what they wanted to do with the crossover, because that worked for me. Yeah, I'm watching him do that. I'm like, thank God, somebody said it.

I don't care who said it. Jack said it. All right, great. Now what are we doing? Oh, my God, he's walking into his own show. Yep. And here we go. Oh, man, it's a lot to process.

But we find out that Britney's recovering from what she calls a double chin surgery to do liposuction on her chin because she wasn't happy with her neck. But we see that she's got that old school. It looks like a cartoon when someone gets like bonked on the head or like a wrap or like an old tiny war movie. She's got the thing wrapped. But I'm curious to watch how these two deteriorate and trying to figure out how much of this on camera

that we're seeing is for the camera and what's actually happening behind the scenes. Like, are we going to see a moment where they fracture or are they already fractured and this is what we're going to get all season is them playing nice on screen? But behind the scenes, it's a fucking nightmare. Yeah, I mean, I kind of think that their entire marriage

is, has always been fractured. I mean, so they just kind of made it work and they can turn it on for the cameras and I agree. I do want to see what they look like off camera. We're not going to see that, unfortunately. I need timeline.

Yeah, we need timelines. We need flowcharts. We always do. Yeah, we still haven't gotten. Not one of you has made us a flowchart. No, there's so many of you out there that listen and you're not giving us flow charts. We need flow charts for all of these shows. We recognize we also haven't done it, but like,

either have you. We're doing enough. Yeah. We're out here feeding baby birds. Help me, help you. Yeah, exactly. But, yeah, I mean, I have. You're having to see baby birds. Yeah, exactly.

I need to see how it happens. And this is, I mean, we talk about this with Summerhouse and we're seeing how it's happening in Summerhouse. That's organic. I feel like whatever's going to happen between the two of them. We're going to be able to see through it. We're going to be able to tell pretty much right away, like, all right, this is how it's been with the two of you.

And now you're playing it up with the cameras acting like, all right, everything's falling apart. Yeah. You probably been falling apart. And you're just putting on a show, which it's a TV show. So I'm not going to read too much into it. I'm going to try. I'm going to try not to.

If it gets too obvious, and that's the thing with Jacks at the helm, it will be blaringly obvious. Yeah, it's just overly produced, and you can tell when he's talking about it. But let's just try to go into the show without over analyzing. How about that? I like that. I can do that. Put it out there now. I can do that for now.

Yep. I got three episodes of doing that before I dive too far. Okay. I like that. It's a good mindset. It's all about mindsets. All about mindsets. The next scene, we get to see our boy, Luke, and Kristen, on TV for us.

the first time in a long time. And we get to hear the story of how they met, which, you know, she was with a guy, Alex for a while. She had just bought a house. Alex convinced her to sell her house, moved in with Alex. They broke up within five months, which sucks, especially with the housing market the way it is now, especially in California, because she had a spot. I would imagine the same house that she bought is probably double the price now. So that blows. And I feel for her there. But she went to a wedding shortly after. Luke was one of the groups. Roomsman, they hit it off, points behind a tent. Behind a tent.

And the rest is history. Behind a tent. I didn't see Luke as a behind the tent kind of guy. No, I did not. We hung out with Luke. He was at the show in L.A. He's a really nice guy. Didn't see him banking, banking behind a tent.

Banking. Banking. I like that. It kind of works. Banking chicks, dude. Oh, God. I mean, we can put it this way. The banks open for Luke, right?

Eos. Sports. Brows. Yeah. But I'm curious. I'm very, very curious to see how Luke does on TV. Like I said, he's a very nice guy. I didn't get the reality star vibe from him.

No. But, you know, Doty is reality royalty from her days in VPR. Again, love her or hate her. She had a lot of polarizing moments. So if there's a good enough teacher out there, I wonder if Doty can show him the ways. And if he can hold his own. And, you know, it's interesting because some of the guys in the group, when they go to the simulator later, oh, simulator later. That's weird.

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Time will tell. But do you think he has it in him to, to rise to the occasion? Do you think that he's going to be a good supporting role or is he going to flounder? A flounder. Oh, really? I just, I see him floundering. I don't think he has what it takes. takes and I think that Kristen can hold his hand through a lot of it and kind of force the

issue and just based off the trailer and what we've seen you know moving forward for the next couple of episodes he's going to be put in situations where he's going to have to rise to the occasion yeah I just don't think he can be that consistent I want to see how he reacts to his first real issue I mean he should be out there talking to jacks about what's going on like jack's talking in the kitchen about Kristen getting pregnant he should tell him to shut the fuck up you should tell him to shut the fuck up He should also just be talking shit on Jacks. Yeah.

Because that's where it is. I mean, Jacks wants no relationship with you, no friendship with you, for really no reason. Like, you should be out there talking shit as well. This is a TV show. I need guys out here talking shit. But it's his first episode of his season. Yeah, I think we can let him warm up. I'm not going to make the judgment call now.

I'm just saying I think that's where he's going to end up. I think it's important to note as well. Like, this isn't a knock on Luke the person. He's a super nice dude. It's just reality TV is a whole different animal. And this is like an introvert from Colorado. lives on 70 acres of land going to be on a show in the valley in California. That's a big transition.

So it's big shoes to fill, so we'll see. But up next, we get Dan and Nia, and I didn't know who Dan was until they showed him from like his Icarly days and like Hannah Montana days. And I was like, oh, shit. Still don't recognize him. And, I mean, I watched, did you watch the Dan Schneider stuff? Oh, my God, bro. I haven't watched the most.

I watched episode three, which is then they introduced Drake Bell. I haven't seen the fourth one. It is really hard to watch. Really hard to watch. Yeah, there was a point in the second episode where I had to just stop. Like, I had to get up and just walk away. There were three episodes out. Uh-huh.

I could only binge two and I needed to stop because I couldn't watch three in a row. It was too upsetting. Too heavy. Way too heavy. It's way too heavy. Anyway, bad segue. This is supposed to be a light episode. Really bad segue.

Sorry about that, everybody. I know. Speaking of. I was just, but I don't remember him. I didn't really, I clearly was a little. a little bit after my time. They both were after our time. The reason I saw them is because of my sisters.

Yeah, they were all in that age. So I don't, like, know who he is. But as soon as I saw his face younger, I was like, oh, I've definitely seen him on TV before. Yeah, for sure. I do love that immediately, he's like, and now I get recognized for voiceovers in the walking dead. And I'm like, voiceovers in the walking dead. What the fuck are you talking about?

And that's what I like that moment. You think he was being funny? How would you recognize him from, like, I don't know. I thought I took him seriously. Can you do a zombie voice? Uh, that's my No, I don't He did like

Yeah, that was pretty good That wasn't bad I could do it I love the New York guy Hey, I'm walking in it I'm like get out of the way So stereotypical That was definitely my favorite one

Or military guy Military guy was good But I think he was being funny right there Because no obviously wouldn't recognize him From voiceover work That's generic like that So I think that's funnier He said you might recognize me

From voiceover work I'm like oh maybe he does like animas or cartoons or something i'm like that'd be kind of cool he's the background yeah background noise is like nope definitely don't but but also i mean watching him later in the episode i don't give you shit you don't know in what regard you don't like him i don't really like him oh really i don't like any of them i'll get to the dudes they might they might grow on me a little bit i mean jesse definitely won't grow on me ever but i don't like any except for jason and uh jason's jason and janet they're because they're normal they're very normal he's a lawyer he's got a good job

outspoken enough. They're outspoken enough and they interject themselves and I think they're perfect for the show for the balance. I don't know. I don't know. Daniel, I... It's the first episode. I'm not going to be too harsh. Daniel, I don't mind. Nia, I am very much on the fence because I thought it was hysterical when she goes

here. I thought it was going to be some lovey-dovey moment on how these two got together and she's like he had everything that I look for in a man. Six-pack, jawline, beautiful eyes. I'm like, Oh, not, you know, caring, supportive, good father. No, he's got good eyes, a rockin' bod, and a six-pack. Well, at least he's honest.

Okay, I guess. But, like, that's how you want to lead off, like, your relationship is my husband's hot. Yeah. And then, you know, his is like, yeah, I can't believe I got to marry Ms. Universe. Yeah, that's true. I mean, I don't know if I'm going to like Dan. I might like Dan later, but I don't like Nea. and we'll get to that point later

I know exactly I don't like that I didn't mind Daniel I think he's got the best chance of somebody I'm going to enjoy this season because the voiceover thing I thought that was a really funny moment

if he wasn't being serious if he was being serious with the voiceover work he's a douche if he was being funny which he had to be because how the fuck would you recognize him from a faceless voice out of a zombie

so I think he's got he's got room to be somebody I'm going to like on the show Nia I don't think so. I don't think so. But moving on, we get Jason and Michelle, I know, moving on, we get Jason and Janet. They're great. And Janet is pregnant. Jason's excited to be a father. We find out later that he's a worker's comp lawyer. We like them. They seem to have a good head on their shoulders. They're not afraid to get involved. But we find out very quickly, Jason's

the voice of reason. Yes. And Janet seems to be the voice of reason as well. I honestly, that's the perfect balance. If you can be normal and you can interject and you can get involved in things when other people are being idiots, I'm good with that. If you're normal and you're kind of keeping to yourselves on the outside, like look at these fucking idiots over here, not into that. You need to get in there. It's also crucial on this show with how many big,

big personalities we have and the biggest personality ever with Jacks. You're going to have to have that normal couple in the mix that can bring everybody back to Earth. Yeah. It's not afraid to check people. I'm curious when Jack starts to do Jack's shit, which we will see. We've already seen rumblings of it in the kitchen.

Like his big MO is he gets fired up. start saying stupid shit and it's impossible to reel a man it gets worse and worse and worse until finally somebody storms off there's an apology a day a week a month later yeah but it's going to be interesting to see if anybody in this group can either reel him in or is able to be like all right dude fuck off then like i'm curious how that's going to go but jason's got the best chance of it and then oh then we get to jesse and michel and after their intro i paused and googled valley couple divorce to find out if this was the couple and it was because these two hate each other they do not like each other i think that jesse hates michel way more than michelle hates jesse i could see that

yeah i think that michel's trying to maintain at least in the first episode the first time that they're filming like hey you know we're married we're trying to figure it out and we're you know we're moving through obviously it's a uncomfortable stage but you know we're going to get through it Jesse doesn't have that he doesn't care at all just doesn't give a shit just immediately he starts talking about being a douche yeah just like I'm gonna lean in to being a douche once you start leaning in to be in a douche and other people are like yeah and once I understand the douche of you I liked you nobody like not how that works no but there's no way anybody actually now I get it you're just a douche I love you never not once people think I'm a douche until they

get to know me. Yeah. That's not because I have douchey behavior. It's because I'm, uh, mona, RDF. What is it? RDF. What's RDF?

Resting douche face. Resting douche face. I like that. No, they think that, well, first of all, my brand of sarcasm is hard to pick up on for a while because people think I'm serious. Uh, and that's because of my delivery and that's somewhat intentional. But I'm used to it. So like after like a month, people are like, not a month, but after a little bit of time,

people like, yeah, you're really nice. I had no idea. I'm like, that's okay. I get that a lot. And then they meet me. And then they meet you. And they're like, oh, you're a douche.

Lovable douche. I actually take that back. Dushes can be lovable. But the producer says, describe your husband. And she goes, oh, think about this.

He's like, loving, sexy. She goes, come on. She can't think of one nice thing to say about him. And it's crazy.

Not because she was looking for the perfect thing to say. It's because nothing just came to mind. Nothing came to her mind. And then she gets like, not mad, but she brings up, you know, he's never had a picture of me on his phone background. His response to this, I was brutal.

Oh, my God. He's like, he goes, I work with you and I live with you. I have to see you all day. I not, I get to see you all day. I have to see you all day. I'm forced to look at your stupid face, so why the fuck what I want you on my phone? I don't need to see you on my phone, too. Whoa.

But your wife, it's the mother of your, like, young child. Yeah. What are we talking about? I don't know, dude. I have no idea. But he's a douche. I think he's just an asshole. I hate him.

He's one of the quickest, least likable characters in all of Brava. That's hard to do. It's really hard to do. You're juxtaposed to Jacks Taylor, and you look like the biggest asshole on this show. Especially us when we go into new shows or new people come in. We always try, you know, obviously we give the first impression. But we always have a caveat at the end where we say, but we'll see. Not doing that with Jesse.

Not doing that at all, Jesse. We know enough about him, and obviously they're divorced, so we know exactly what we're talking about. I pegged him from the jump. The way he talks, I don't know who the fuck he thinks he is. Like, what does the line, our house just behind the Chateau Marmont, screams ambition? It's an ambitious house? How old are you? You're 40.

When are your dream's going to land? What do you mean? Like, what the fuck? Your house screams ambition. your wardrobe screams asshole and your attitude screams douchebag. Did I sum them up pretty well? That was pretty good.

All right, cool. Let's move on to the actual show itself. We've got introduced to everybody, so let's have some shenanigans. Then we start out with Doty and Zach and Jasmine. And I guess Zach and Jasmine are going to be the friend of. Jasmine has worked at Sir previously, and Zach was Brittany's best friend

and is now Doty's best friend. But they start talking about baby talk, which is important because Doty is considering having a child. Her and Luke are on the same page. They've been... I don't think it's considering. I guess not considering. They are going to have a child.

They're going to have a child. They're going to attempt to have a child. The main point of this entire episode. Yeah, sorry. They're going to try to have a child. And obviously, the biggest question mark here is the fact that Luke still lives in Colorado pretty much full time. And then he goes to visit Doty in L.A., which if you're having a kid,

and this is the part that, like, frustrated me with a lot of, of the shit that happens later as far as them discussing this. Obviously, if they have a child together, they're going to re-evaluate where they're living. They're going to live together. It's not like they're going to start out with a kid where he's living in Colorado and she's in L.A. Like, they'll be in the same spot. I'm sure that as adults having a kid, like, that would be the first hurdle that they

would get over. So everybody acting like, oh, he goes in Colorado. It's like, yeah, no shit, dickhead. But, like, eventually they're going to live together if they have a baby. Like, what are we doing here? but but we get the the ladies together and it's nia brittany and michel and we get to see nia has three kids she's got the twins and she's got a toddler so her hands are very full michelle obviously just had her daughter who looks like maybe three did they say two three i think she said

she's a few months removed wasn't she michel yeah no that was nia no nia's a few months removed because the twins are the twins are babies yeah there's a lot of babies we'll figure it out by like the second or third episode we'll get there Michelle has the daughter who's old enough to walk around and eat ice cream. There we go, yeah. Okay. And Nia has the toddler who is still with a pacifier bopping around like a little tyke and the two infants. They look fairly newer.

Yes. That's the twins. Yes. Okay. So that's where we are with the babies. Yeah, you got a Jackson, Brittany. We haven't met the kid yet, but we know that they have a younger son, Cruz. Yeah.

We know about Cruz, but you can't expect us to remember all the kids' names. This is the first show that we're getting with kids. Yeah, I know. Everybody chill out. Yeah, I know. For whatever reason, and I know it's not this name, and this is so dumb. This is my stupid fucking brain. But it was all I can think about is Renzimei from Twilight.

Is that Bella's child is Renzame? God. I know. I don't know. I don't know. But that's where my brain goes. I actually did as a segue to this, which is kind of funny. I saw a picture of LVP and the wolf that she was taking a picture up.

And it said, in the beam, it's nice to see that Bella and Jacob can still maintain a friendship years later. Oh, that is actually funny. Yeah, see, Twilight, Full Circle. We always go full circle here. Always got something. But as they're discussing the kids, and, you know, they're just astounded

that Nia can keep up with the three little ones. And we find out a little bit more about Jesse as a dad. And maybe this is also why I like Daniel, because Michelle is... You have to call him Daniel every time. Dan? Can we just say Dan? Dan's fine.

I don't know. I don't know. It just comes out Daniel. What's your fun? a fucking problem. I don't like it. Dan. Yeah, there we go. You find out that Dan. Call Danny if you want to. I don't care.

Daniel's just... D-dog. That works. Not the bark. It's just D-D-D-D-D. So D-D-Dog got up every night, did the nighttime feedings, the nighttime changings. Hell yeah, Dan. We love to hear that. Counterpart to Dan is this piece of shit, Jesse, who not once.

Not once! What the fuck? You can't be a dad and just, like, snooze? Your wife just gave birth. Do you know how disastrous that is to your body? Yeah. She has to sleep in a separate room to take care of the baby so you can get a good night's sleep so you can chase your ambitious house or whatever the fuck you're doing.

I hated him out of the gate. This was like... Not only that hit later, and I know Jacks was kind of part of this too, they start talking about how Dan always talks about how he doesn't get sleep because he's taking care of the baby. Jesse can't sit there and say, oh, yeah, it's all he talks about now. He just talks about not getting sleep because he's taking care of baby you should be doing that you should you should at least be doing most of that or like any of it any none of it none of it that's not like a cool man thing to be like yeah the wife takes care of the kids like

the times have changed sir dads are involved now it's a cool thing it's a cool trend climb aboard don't be the dad that proudly pumps his chest out goes i've never changed a diaper because that's awful you're a piece of shit i really don't like this guy But that's when we get the dudes at the golf sim, and that looked like, most time when you see golf simulators, it's like this really cool, like, bar with a bunch of simulators in it. It's a country club with a really nice simulator in it. This looked like a locker room that they shoved the golf simulator in that these guys go hang out at. Yeah, I didn't care for the entire scene. I didn't either.

The way they were talking to each other and the golf was the absolute worst. Well, don't worry, because even as he's at the worst, he's ever been at golf. Jesse's still better than everybody at golf. I believe it after watching them. Okay, cool. I know, yeah. Like, that's my point. Like, I don't care.

I don't give two shits. Didn't need the, like, the action shots, the slow motion of their swings, like things like that. I just don't. Justin. No. Jason, see, it's going to be tough. Jason had a nice swing. And one other dude had a nice swing.

It might have been Luke, honestly. I think Luke actually had a solid swing. Yeah. And you look at the result and it wasn't good. poor Dan has a terrible swing. Jack's not a great swing. Maybe we need to, I feel like there's somewhere in our future, there is a Bravo golf outing.

Like with multiple. I think that that, we need to put that together in the next year or two and just get like the dudes from Southern Charm, the dudes from Southern hospitality, some of the dudes from the West Coast. Let's get, this is a real thing. I don't even have to go all dudes. There are some girls on Bravo to play.

Like Madison plays. Oh, yeah, Madison. Olivia plays. Madison's good. Madison's swing. She'd kick our ass. So, yeah, you're right. Yeah, I did not mean to a lot.

I was more thinking because we already have something set up-ish with the dudes from South Carolina. That's the only reason I said, dudes, obviously, bros, and bros is genderless, all-encompassing. So let's get all the bros from the Bravo world. Anybody that wants to come out and join, I would imagine that not everyone wants to partake in this. So we'll put some other. It could be a fun event to just be at, you know? I don't know. We'll find out.

Let's see if we can put this together. I would like that a lot. But this is where I worry about Luke because his first instinct is to try to make friends with Jacks and try to like squash the beef with him because he's like, hey, you're going to unblock me. Ha, ha, ha. That's not going to work with him. Like, he's not going to suddenly be like, oh, okay, I'm sorry that I blocked you so far back. And like, we're cool now.

Jacks is very much a dude that if, and this is so dumb and it shouldn't be this way. but if you want to get back in his good graces you have to stand up to him and show him you're not a bitch about it which is dumb like that's again an antiquated thing that dudes do to each other and I don't agree with it but for Luke to raise his status with Jacks he's gonna have to start talking some shit or just don't buy into it man like you don't have to be tight with you

don't have to say anything yeah exactly you could have just walked right past and be like look I know Jacks is a dickhead right and he's mad at me for or doesn't want a relationship with me for the dumbest reasons and he's also playing both sides where he's talking about how he loves Kristen as a sister and a family and whatever but then he's coming back and saying you know I just don't really care about this

and now you've got this guy Luke and I don't care about him let Jacks be Jacks that's all you got to do you don't need to just because you're on a TV show with him you don't need to go be buddy buddy with him you don't need to kiss the ring just because he's going to be the main component of the show exactly and I think that that's a pitfall he's got to look out for and again

we are rooting for Luke to do well We like Luke. I'm just, this is one of the things that he's going to have to try to figure out along the way is like how to interact differently with different cast members because you can't treat everybody the same way. Jacks especially because he is a wild card. He is a lot to deal with and you're not going to win with him by trying to buddy, buddy up with him because he doesn't respond to that. So I would much rather see a loop that steps up when Jacks is talking constantly about how bad of an idea it is to have a kid with him. And Luke be like, hey, man, it's none of your fucking business, something like that. But we'll see what happens.

But they start talking about the kid thing. And everybody there kind of chimes in and gives their 10 cents about it. And the biggest issue is that it's out of wedlock. And I'm like, okay. You don't seem like the most religious guys. That's my whole point. And, like, Jacks tries to take this righteous approach. And I don't think it's, like, religious-centric.

But he's like, you know, what if it doesn't work out? What if you guys break up? And, like, is this for the right reasons? And he starts to list off, like, all the things you got to worry about when you have a kid. It's like, all right, bro. It's not like you're talking to a 22-year-old that just got married or is, like, considering having a child. You're talking to an older dude that I'm sure if Kristen and Luke have sat down, had this conversation are actively not, I mean, they're not actively trying, but they're not, what's the word? They pulled the goalie.

They pulled the goal. Exactly. So I'm sure they've gone over this. You don't need to sit here with all the guys. And then every dude, then they, like, fucking bow up because they have kids and their dads. And they're like, yeah, man, have you really thought this through? It's like, guys, it's not really your place. Like, if he gives a response here also, not for nothing, all of you just met this man.

Why are you giving him advice on what to do as a potential parent? Yeah. That makes no sense. Honestly, it's weird, too, because I do think that at least where Jacks is coming from. And I do wonder, do we know how Jacks felt about Doty's ex with Alex? Did he like him? I don't remember. I got the vibe that he actually really liked Alex.

Maybe that's what it is. And now Luke comes in weeks, months later. He's like vanilla. And it's the same thing. And he's vanilla and like boring. And he just doesn't want anything to do with him. And he's also holding it like he's holding Doty to a higher standard because he's known her for 16 years, which he said a million times.

And he doesn't think that it's the right time. And to an extent, I get it. If you were coming from a good place, if you're sitting down with Doty and saying, look, I mean, you were talking about doing this with Alex before you broke up with him. Now you're immediately doing this with Luke, and I get it. You're 40. You want to do this now. You see all your friends doing it.

Are you doing it for the right reasons? And then once she gives you an answer, you kind of back off. If you're coming from a place of concern, Jacks is not coming from a place of concern. He's coming from a place of this is going to give me something to talk about on the show. I can just hold this over everybody's head. And everybody's taking the lead, which that's going to get old really quick. Yeah, well.

Jacks comes up with something and he starts talking to somebody, like, say Luke, like, say, you know, somebody else in the group. And everybody else who's there, all the dudes are just agreeing with Jacks and just piling on. that's going to be really annoying because we're going to need people questioning Jax in order to get even Jack's best self where Jacks comes back at people and he's petty and he's annoying and he's an asshole. We need that too to make this show work and I don't see it right now but it could get there and we might be able to see something further down the road at least when Jacks and Brittany are

kind of falling apart people might go after him because he's vulnerable or something. I don't know. I just have things that I want to see this show go in and I don't see it right now. No, but I think that's where, you know, we talked about in the intro where it's like there are makings for a decent show here. There's also some pitfalls that are going to have to avoid. But this leads right into the next scene because Jackson and Brittany go over to Janet and Jason's and they start talking about the same shit. And Jacks has his big moment where he's like, you know, this fucking made me laugh so hard. But he's like, I hate to say it, but I'm never, okay, I'm rarely, rarely wrong about these things.

and I've just got a hunch that this isn't going to work out. And I don't want to be right, but I'm never wrong. It's like, you're wrong a lot, a whole lot. Oh, yeah. And that's the thing. It's because you always have an opinion about things. So you are right sometimes, but that's just because you always offer your opinion to people. Unwarranted.

No one's asking. But you decided it's your place to say something. And, you know, Janet's question was just, does she want a baby with Luke or does she just want a baby? and that's when we find out that, you know, a week or two before she broke up with Alex, she was saying that she wanted to get pregnant by Alex. So here's my thing with that. And I don't think Janet meant it in a negative way. She might just want a baby.

Yeah. And she might be in a place with Luke that she wants a baby with him. And if they don't stay together, guess what? There's a lot of kids with parents that aren't together. And that's okay. And I think the biggest thing to look at here is if she wants the baby and Luke and her have had this conversation, Jacks you've given your opinion or if you do it in a more productive way

like you said and sit down with her and talk about it the minute that she says this is what I want to do we've had the conversation we're trying shut the fuck up and be supportive if you actually are a brother sister figure as you claim to be and a friend of 16 years she is 40 years old this is her decision to make

once she makes that decision stop talking about it negatively definitely don't walk around a party talking shit to everybody you can find because this is clearly what you're going to latch on to for a while shut the fuck up, be a supportive friend, say, okay. And if shit goes south, you step in and help out and be a good friend again. You don't have an I told you so moment because you sat at Janet and Jason's two years

ago and said, see, I don't want to be right, but I'm usually right about this stuff. And also don't walk around with brown stains in your armpits. I did appreciate the AMPM reference about being a gas station coffee drinker. I thought about that. Yeah. Because I am, there's something about Oh, God, steal, jacks. Hmm. Hey, ye. Whoa, I don't, I have no Jacks quality. typically right about things. Thank you. That was so nice. You compared to Jacks and you still said, okay?

No, you said I'm typically right about things. I took the Jacks out of things. Okay. You got to do that sometimes. He's not right about things. You also don't have brown pit states. I don't, and I thought it was really funny that's from self-tanner, not from AMPA coffee. But I got the AMPM coffee thing.

One, when I lived in the South, I got A&PM coffee, but two, the bigger one is I love Wawa coffee. There's just something different about going into the gas station or the Wawa and pouring that cup, I know it's not good coffee, but I like it better than all coffee. And while I'm on the topic, Pike Place,

Pike Place from Starbucks is the single worst cup of coffee, like regular coffee, in the fucking world. I don't know why that's their generic, but it is horrible. I never actually get coffee from Starbucks. Do not.

The blonde roast is fine. I don't know why the blonde roast isn't the headliner, because Pike Place is ass. Is it the dark roast? No. No, it's their medium roast. Oh. And it's,

ass. It's so bad. I don't get it. I don't go to Starbucks because you know, I don't drink. I don't think people are going to Starbucks for straight coffee, though. I do. All I drink is like black coffee or coffee with muscle milk. Right. Nice. It makes me sound so douchey. I know. I wish I didn't say that out loud.

Can't edit it. Fuck. I mean, you could, but you shouldn't. I'm not going to because I have morals and I put that out there. You did. Wow, I sound like a douchebag. Anyway. This is when we get to the pool party at Jackson's and this is Michelle's birthday party, I believe?

Because, no, this is Janet's birthday party because she's about to have the baby, so, yeah, okay, Janet's, this is going to be tough, man. Now, we'll get it. Over under four episodes before we got everybody's name. Okay, I like that. I think mid-episode three, it's just going to click. Okay, I hope so. But we get to the party, and I did like the

confessional with Dan and Nia, and they're talking about jacks and coming on to the show or being friends with jacks in general and they're like yeah you know people are asking me have you heard like don't you know who jacks taylor is he's a douchebag he cheats on his wife and does this and does that and both of them seem to be under the impression that jacks has changed now i'm under the impression that jacks was out of the limelight for a long time and had to make adjustments to his life to as we find out just keep his family afloat because you didn't have reality tv money coming in and hey props to him and to brittany for being able to figure it out off of TV maintain their house in the valley they're one of the last one standing in the

valley so good for you guys genuinely to be able to figure all that shit out not throwing shade there it seems like they're doing well with the bar got the show going all that stuff that's great financial stuff aside i got we we like to see that yeah but i again am under the impression that he fell out of the limelight had to do what he had to do became a family man because that was what the time called for but i have this big fear and it's not for jacks i don't give two shits about him i care about Brittany and their child, I think that being back on TV is going to be the worst thing that ever happened to him because he's going to fall back into Jacks Taylor as an early 30-year-old, late 20-year-old, and start doing stupid shit, hanging out with the wrong people,

drinking way too much, and getting back into what got him kicked off of Vanderpump. Yeah, I mean, you can even see that towards the end of Vanderpump when he gets in the car afterwards, and he said, yeah, you know, I've changed. I'm not doing any of those things. The old Jacks would have done this and that, whatever, and he immediately follows that up with, But I would love to just stay out until 2 a.m. doing a bunch of shots of shorts and getting blackout drunk. Yep. Well, which do you want?

He wants the ladder. Because he hasn't had that option as much because of his current lifestyle. Yeah. But now that it is available to him again. Now that he's on TV and it's encouraged. Now that they're separated. It could get ugly real quick, but good TV, I suppose. But we get Jackson, Jesse, and this is where we find out.

And I'm shocked. I'm shocked to hear it. They're having issues with their marriage. Yeah. Baffling that, you know, maybe your wife's tired. And maybe she's been waking up for two years. And Jesse doesn't understand why they're having issues. It's like, okay, yeah.

I don't know, man, we talked about it. And I can't figure it out. Like she's, this, this fucking line, I can't. There's nothing about this guy that is redeemable in any way, shape, or form. She evolved as a mom. I didn't as a dad. Stop talking about it like you're proud of it. She evolved as a mom.

She stepped up and became, a mother. You're saying that you are willingly a deadbeat dad. Yep. Sick, bro. Sick. And you just like waltz around and you're like, she loves me more than you. Ha, ha. She's not gonna. That wears thin just because you give her ice cream before lunch

which is also not a great move. But hey, if you want to be the fun dad every once in a while, sure, why not? But I just I don't like him. I don't like him. I don't like his face. Anything that comes out of his mouth is just wrong and stupid. And I dushy and I just don't want it. I just don't care for it. And I mean,

could make for good TV if we just get to watch him pretty much spiral. If I can hate watch him. Because if I don't like somebody like that and there's no redeemable qualities of someone and then we get to see their lives go to shit, I'm sorry, but I'm in. Yeah, no, I don't give a fuck. I'm eating popcorn out of the doom bucket for that one. Oh, God, yeah, you took that dune bucket home real quick. But I thought it was funny that they point out and, God, I know it would annoy me.

So when D-Dogs walking around the party going, 3002, 300. Two. What? What's that? Yep. Hey, 3002. It's like, yeah, we know. We know. We know you don't get a lot of sleep. And we're proud of you for being there and being a good father. But don't be that parent. Don't be the parent that reminds people of their parent. Yeah. Everyone, nobody likes those people. No. Nobody likes them. No. And again, if Jesse was the one who is not, if it was somebody else that was saying, do we get it. Stop talking about it. I would agree. Yeah. But Jesse saying, I'm like, look at the mirror. What do you do? I thought it was Jackson said it. I think Jesse and Jackson. Okay. All right. So the two of them were there. And I know that they were there. And I know that they were. we're both agreeing to it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, not at all. No, that's where Jesse needs to be like, oh, I, I can't even give any tips. Just fucking be better. But we get a conversation between Jacks and Lala, and they're talking about Doty being

pregnant. And I'm glad Lala came back later to join the conversation with Doty and them in the kitchen because I didn't like this conversation between her and Jax. She's not very understanding about it. And Jacks goes, you should take a page out of Lala's book. And it's like, well, if that's thing. the case. And I think that he's referring to the fact that she had a kid with Randle and that all fell to shit. But we just found out that Lala is pregnant again via sperm donor because she wanted

to have a second child so much. So I think, yeah, take a page out of Lala's book because if there's anybody that you can talk to in a positive way to get ready for potential future plans, she would be the best one because she, one, had a kid and then the relationship fell apart and two decided to do it on her own. So if there's anybody with a perspective that can help Doty and give her some confidence moving forward, it would be Lala. Because Lala could say, hey, I went through a breakup during all of this.

I went through all that shit, and it was really hard, but look at me now, I'm doing really well. My relationship with my daughter is so good than I decided to have another kid by myself. Like, that's a positive story. So I hated that Jacks tried to make it a negative story.

Yeah, and we've seen Lala, and look, whatever she's doing a VPR aside, we'll completely ignore that for now. We've seen Lala go through a lot of different shit. Sure. She's come out a better version of herself, at least from a motherly. Oh, yes, definitely.

Motherly aspects, she has crushed it. She's done so much. She realized what she wanted, and she knows exactly how she's going to go about it, moving forward. She is the one that you do want to talk to, but again, Jack's sitting there and doing that. It's like, no, no, no, we're not going to do any of that. I just don't see Doty and Lala sitting down and having that conversation because it seems like Doty is so fixated on this.

And like, she's not going to be talked out of it. She's not going to hear anybody, anyone else's side. Look, I mean, it's her prerogative to do whatever the hell she wants. She wants to have a kid. She decided she wants to do it with Luke. Who am I to say that she shouldn't do it with Luke because she just met him? Or she was going to do it with Alex and now she's just fixated on the fact that she wants to have a kid. She didn't just meet Luke now.

It's a couple of months, I think, at that point. In this episode? I'm pretty sure. I don't think it was. Oh, no, yeah, I guess when did they film this? Flowcharts. Yeah, when did they film this? They've been together for not, I'm not going to say like years and years.

When we talked to them last year. That's what I'm saying. Where were they? That was a couple of months in, right? But I don't know if they had started even film. Hi, I'm here to tell you about Good Morning Night Vale. Welcome to Nightvale's official recap show and unofficial best friend food podcast. Join me, Meg Bashwinner and fellow tri-hosts, Hal Lublin and Symphony Sanders, as we dissect all of the cool, squishy, and slimy bits of every episode of Welcome to Nightvale. Come for the insightful and hilarious commentary and stay for all of the weird and wild behind-the-scenes stories. Good morning Night Vale, with new episodes, every other. Thursday. Get it wherever you get your podcasts. Yes, even there. I'm Amy Nicholson, the film critic for the LA Times. And I'm Paul Shear, an actor,

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I don't know. It's definitely been longer than a few. We're not going to, don't even put a time at all. Let's assume it's over a year. I think it's entirely fine. Like, at some point, you do have to look a 40-year-old person in the face and say, you do what you're going to do. Yes.

That's fine. You're 40. And this is, look, you're taking a shot of the adulting per the tagline for the show. Yeah. Go for it. Do we got to do? I can't. stand out of fact line. But do what you're going to do. And you shouldn't have Jacks Taylor sitting

there telling you what you should be doing. Nor should he be going around to every single person at the party and talking about it. Everybody. That is him overproducing for the show. That's him fixated on one thing and saying, this is what we're going to do. We're going to talk about Doty having a kid. And I'm going to talk to everybody on the show. I'm going to pull in Sheena. I'm going to pull in Brock. I'm going to pull in Lala. And I'm going to discuss it with everybody because this is my show and this is where we're going to go with it. I wish that Kristen had stood up to him a little bit more. You could tell she got a little flustered with it. I think she even started crying towards the end of it.

It's like she just got, you can't let Jacks get to you like that. I don't think it was tears, tears. I think, you know, when you get so frustrated, your eyes just water up and you get like, I think that was more what it was. And he's also, you know, this is something that she really wants. It doesn't seem like this is a willy-nilly decision, especially if she's one of the kids since she was with Alex. And now that's probably exacerbated things with Luke because now she's with somebody she

actually likes. And he seems like he's a good dude. So it seems like a good decision to make her, at least for. them in the time. The last thing she wants to hear is everybody's saying this is a bad idea, but before we get to the kitchen conversation, and we don't need to talk about Jackson Brocks, it's the same exact thing that we just talked about. We have this tattoo scene, and this is fucking wild to me because they had a tattoo artist

at the party? Oh, no, that's a thing now. That's a big thing now. It doesn't mean I have to agree with it. The tiny tattoos are a big thing at parties. Yeah, it's like the new trend right now. You don't have to agree with it if you want to be like old man yelling at the clouds. Who gets tattoos anymore?

Yeah. But I actually think it's a cool idea. If there was a tattoo artist at a party, I would 1,000% get a tattoo from him. So we're on opposite ends of the couch here, pal. But during this scene, Jesse has multiple Jesse moments. Like, we can already label these as Jesse moments, and this man's been on TV for one episode.

I know. That's hard to do. You've really established himself in this episode. He did. The first one, he's like, I'm going to let my wife pick out my tattoo and my mistress, talking to Lala, who has been labeled a mistress. Yep. Then he tries...

I thought she handled that very well, too. I thought she handled it extremely well. I was actually shocked. I thought she was going to go off on him. I wish she had. What is their connection? Like, where do they have a relationship? How do they have a friendship?

I assume that all of these people, because we know that Jacks hangs out with the end. Like, he was at Sheena's wedding. Yeah. They all hang out. Okay. Maybe I'm looking too far into it. Yeah, yeah.

Don't get too. Just assume their friends. Assume that everybody is at least acquaintances because they all bop around with similar groups. Yeah, but I was floored. And I can't imagine a scenario in which this would be appropriate. But Doty's talking to him,

and they're kind of going back and forth about who's next. And she's like, playfully, like gives him like a purple nurple, not even like it just kind of pinches his nipple, ever so slightly. Not in a million bazillion years if a woman did that to me, would I think to pinch her nipple back?

Yep. Like, I was flummoxed, sir. It was fucking sexual assault. I was flubbix. We have a high school friend group that we've known each other for 17 years, half of which are all girls. They're like our best closest friends in the world. I would never even consider doing this ever.

I married Dev, who was also my best friend. When we weren't dating, I would never pinch her nippling. No, it's just not a weird thing to do. You can't even chalk it up to be like, oh, maybe it was just a nervous moment. He didn't know what to do it. Like, no, he looked pretty. confident. He's a huge douchebag, so everything he's doing looks pretty confident in his own

weird way. He went right for it. He went right for. Didn't hesitate. And if you're going to do that Doty, who else are you doing that too? If you're going to say in front of your wife who just gave birth to a kid that this is my side piece, and she clearly didn't like either because she's like, where's your daughter right now? Yep. Like checks him immediately. And like, no shit you're thinking about separating. Get the fuck away from this guy. He's a nightmare. But this is when we get Brock and Jacks talking in the kitchen and they're discussing Doty and a couple of the other dudes. are in there, and I like that Sheena, Lala, and Doty are off to the side, and Shina Lala, like, look at all of these guys in there discussing motherhood right now.

Like, it's a bunch of dudes talking about being a mom, so maybe we should go interject and put an end of this, which I'm really glad they did, and they walk up with Doty. And this scene was a little bit shitty to watch, only because it's like, you know, Jack's gets on his high horse again because he is a dad, and he's saying, are you mentally there yet? Are you ready for this? and Jason jumps in, thank God, and Sheena said something similar and Lala said something similar.

It's like, you're never ready. You know, I don't know what being ready to be a parent is. I think being ready is being ready to do it, but as far as being prepared for what comes with it, it's impossible. Until you have a kid and this is like me putting my dad hat on for a second

because I grew up with babies because my sisters were, they're 11, 15, and like 17 years younger than me. So like, that's not. right but it's somewhere in that way that's somewhere in that they are 23 years old right now 18 years old and 16 years old do it that way fuck I might have been right I think you were right oh man I'm an idiot good job with numbers look at you doing math I don't math well that was good math though thank you I just I see that's how bad at math I am when I'm right I think I'm wrong

yeah but you're usually right even growing up changing diapers feeding babies growing up around babies I wasn't like prepared for everything that fatherhood brought me but you figure it out along the way like that's part of being a parent is learning the process and being ready means you're prepared to take on new experiences and learn along the way and doty seems to be there and albeit from jacks to fucking sit there and talk on his high horse about being a father and what it takes and all these different things jason says it well no one's really ready until you do it so why don't we just like if she's at that point in your life she's ready to do it why don't we just fucking support our friend.

Yeah. Like, she's 40. It shouldn't take much. And I do wonder if it's, look, it's Jack's leading the charge, of course. Is it also the rest of them doing it because it's a TV show and they have something to talk about and they think that it's like captivating to go after somebody who's considering, you know, trying to be pregnant with somebody and they don't approve of it? I think a lot of it is TV show driven. I think that even Jacks in some way is TV show driven. but at the end of the day, this is who Jacks is.

He's telling other people what they should think and what they should do because he always knows best. Yeah. So it's more so just that everybody's on board with it. That's what's pissing me off. Other people are telling you, aside from Janet and Jason, which I think they're great. And obviously, you know, Sheena didn't really get involved.

She tried to help out. She walked over there and supported enough. She walked over there and supported enough. Lala can be a voice of reason. The rest of the people on the show getting involved and giving their two cents, no. Just no. In a normal situation, you stay the fuck out of it.

Well, it's also what you alluded to earlier, the dangers of this is the fact that if everyone is just going to hang on to Jacks' coattails and jump on board with whatever he's saying, that's going to get old so fast. And that seems to be what the other guys are doing. And remember, none of these people have done reality TV before. I think that somebody was on The Bachelor. One of the wives, I believe, was on The Bachelor. I could be wrong. They're on some sort of reality show. Maybe.

She was Miss Universe or Miss USA. It's one of the two. She was into a beauty pageant. But one of them has been on a reality show before. The dudes, they're new to this scene. As far as I know, I could be wrong about that. But it does seem to me that a lot of them are taking the lead from Jack's. Like, okay, he's saying this.

I'm going to say this too. I'm really glad that Jason's not doing that. So we have somebody that's contrarian to it. He's not even contrarian. He's just normal. He's like, hey, guys, let's shut the fuck up because. And I think this is the biggest point. Like, at the end of the day, they're going to do this.

Yeah. So let's get on board with it and support our friend. And I think that the best thing you said was if Jacks was truly a brother figure and truly a friend to Doty, there would be a sit-down conversation in which he's like, hey, are you sure about this? And when she says yes, okay, I got you back. And if it goes south, I still got you back. We'll figure this out.

That's all you got to say. It's all you got to say. Yep, I agree. But the last thing. We need to talk about, and I'm sure that this is what you've been waiting to talk about. We have a scene of Nia and D-Dog are about to leave the party, and of course, Brock's the one that's like, pull his pants down. I pull his pants down.

Boys night. Jacks jumps over there, and he pantses the guy. Not a big deal. Extremely immature. There's also children there. I get that. Not a great look. Not the end of the world.

Not the end of the world. As far as what Jacks could possibly do in front of children. children. Yeah, not the end of them. That's not even cracking the top ten. And he's wearing that super long L.A. T-shirt. So you didn't see his dog. And if you did, good for him.

True. Very true. But, uh, yeah, it wasn't, it didn't necessitate that kind of reaction. I didn't think. She goes, she's sobbing in the room. And the other girls go to console. Like, I'm so sorry that this happened. Like, this is the last thing I wanted you to be upset at my party, which I get that.

Like, you don't want someone to cry at your birthday. Of that. Yeah. but it wasn't that serious wasn't no it really wasn't and dan gets pants and nea looks at him right away and goes wow you're very calm right now how are you so calm it's like because it's fucking jacks just pantsing me like it's just immature dudes being dudes yes yeah again i did forget immediately that there were kids around because i'm like what the fuck's going like who cares who really gives the shit the kids part makes it dumb and not good and i get that aspect of it does it warrant you

storming off and bawling your eyes out in a back room. I didn't think so. It just seemed, and look, she just had a kid a couple of weeks, months ago, so who am I to say what emotions are? Yeah, that's fair. So maybe that's part of it, but I don't know. It could also be, maybe she's a little anxious about being on this TV show and she's got to deal with Jacks all the time.

She doesn't want to, this is the first one where it's like, oh, fuck, I've got to deal with this shit and like, this is just the tip of the iceberg as far as what he's going to be willing to do. No pun and tell it. try to make sure, yeah, and that could be part of it. But, yeah, I think Dan immediately is just like, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Which is what we're doing here is.

We're like, we fucking five years old, bro, like, yeah. I don't see, that's the difference. If that was me, I would be like, pull my pants up. If you pants me as an adult, pull my fucking pants back up. Give you a little smooch on the butt cheek on the way up, too. Don't make you weird. It's already weird. You want them pull your pants back up?

Yes, absolutely. If you take my pants off, I am standing there. Somehow more intimate. No, it's not. Yeah. It's not. It's saying, look, motherfucker, if you want to deep pants me, you are going to put my pants back on. Logistically, I mean, obviously, you have to do it from the back.

I'm not going to just go face to face with your dong. I don't care where you go. You have to pull my pants up. If you are going to be an asshole and pull my pants down, I will stand, unless, you know, time and place. To stand there for the kids? Absolutely not. Absolutely. That's why I said time and place.

If we were at, like, a bar and somebody pantses me, I will stand there until you put my pants up. All right. That's fair. We're talking about immature dudes here. Yeah. And also, not if I'm like, if I'm hanging dong, obviously, like I would. do so. Is it a cold day or a warm day? That's a big factor.

Big factor. Big factor. That's a good point. You got a factor in shrinkage. Good point. But I will say, I thought it was hysterical during this scene. It cuts to Sheena, and she's just smirking as Nia's crying. She's like, ah, come on. If Sheena's not sitting there crying. That's what I mean. We've seen something dumb happened in the past, and it didn't even happen to Sheena. And she's crying. Just like commiserating and crying. She had a good cry about dancing with the stars, as we'll talk about this evening. We'll talk about later. But, yeah. I don't get it.

Are you good? Yeah, I don't know. They're fucking throat so dry. Yeah, it's just not, I don't know. If this is a peek into what's to come and that's going to make you cry, especially if you're going. If you're going up against Jacks Taylor, as you said, this is the tip of the iceberg. This is Jacks Taylor light.

This is Diet Jacks. Yeah. So hopefully, hopefully this gets her warmed up a little bit as to what to expect. Like I said, I enjoyed watching this episode. I didn't think it was a banger. I thought it was decent. I thought that, and this is the way that I watched new shows, is like, all right, what can do well?

What could make this show be better? Does it have a chance? I do think this has a shot. I think they have to, again, they're going to have to hit on all cylinders, pretty much the whole season for this one to carry through. But I think there is a path forward. But if half the marriages are falling apart,

what are we going to do next year? That could be fun to watch Not the falling apart of the marriage You don't say things like that I'm not saying I don't want to see the marriages fall apart I want to see like afterwards If you get a bunch of 40 somethings

In the Valley trying to figure out How to date and shit again That could be interesting to watch That could be a really good show That could be interesting to watch We're watching that on VPR with Sandoval And I don't like to watch that No no that's very different

I'm talking about the valley He's a 40 something He is a 40 something Living in the same area he might oh fuck is he going to join the show next year if that's where the route we're going in i could definitely keep ariano on vpr sandoval goes over to the valley oh wait he's dating a bunch of those dudes all break their fucking marriages jacks is broken up the jesse's broken up they're going out on date you might actually trying to make a joke not be wrong they might move sandoval over

there that would be funny that would make sense because he lives in the valley too and then you could keep ariana on dpr you don't have to worry about it The crossover episodes. She won't go. That's true. That's all. She already doesn't go unless she wants to. Actually was so pumped that she went to the bar scene.

I'm already talking to BPR. Yeah, we'll save that for later. We'll save that for later. But all in all, I am not cautiously optimistic. I'm just seeing where this goes, but I do see a way forward. I'm curious how it's going to go. I see like two ways forward. I see 15 to 20,000 ways back.

Yeah, I agree with that's a good statement. But let's get to some questions. and you are the question master for the time being because somebody left their iPad at security because they were stuck in a very long security line and then had to run to their plane with a seven-year-old of five in the morning. Not going to say who.

Not going to say who. But context close. It definitely wasn't Poppy that left it. It was definitely me. Yeah, don't play Poppy. It wasn't there. It was me. It was totally me.

Yeah. First off, this is funny. From Stick 33. Wait, you actually watch this? we did we said we were going to watch it been saying everybody we've done been saying yeah moving on to iowa licious i guess the state of iowa is delicious right you like corn very good point uh on a scale of one to five how punchable is jesse oh dude this brought me back to my i want to figure out a way to have like celebrity bravolevity boxing i would

love to box some of these guys uh so that's a five for you a 10 10 fucking 10 and his outfits. Everything about him screams punch me. Yeah, I agree with that. From Max June 3, which of the current VPR cast won't we see at the Valley? I mean, Ariana, there's no chance

she goes over there. That's not true. You don't think so? No. You do think so? She's friends with Doty. That's very doable. I think that they...

Are they friends, though, or did Doty just show up during the stand-of-all-thing? When we were in L.A. with Luke and Doty at the live show, when we were talking, like, yeah, they had kind of a weird relationship for a little while. They reconnected way before we got that scene of Doty walking to her house. They'd been friends, like, good friends for a while, and I think that Scandival honestly made them even closer. So, no, I think there's a place for every single cast member. I think we will. I think we'll see most.

We might even get an LVP sighting. I don't think that there's anyone that can't go on. I think the most likely ones are Tom. Tom Sheena and La La and Brock obviously And then Ariana I guess that's kind of fair

Yeah I don't see where you I don't think anybody's barred from this one James James is like lower yeah He might go because he doesn't want to miss a party Yeah no that's a good point yeah I mean they could also just like go to They go out one night dad's night out

Definitely going to serve Yeah exactly so that's possible Yeah I really don't see There's not a lot of limitations here Definitely not going Yeah So it could be the entire cast. They know it's especially first season.

They want to drum up as much support as possible. And we'll do two more here. From JNO-O-79. Why is it that I enjoy watching Jaxx but not Sandoval? I don't know. I don't know. I have no idea. I think because the Sandoval is so fresh. Probably.

And we, look, we did not dip our toes in any Jax-related information or content in the last couple of years. No, not since he was on BPR. We didn't watch the rewatch that he did. No chance. And we didn't listen to a stupid podcast. We didn't do any of those things. So it's been a while since we've had to deal with Jax, and that's part of it. If Sandoval had taken a break for a couple of years, I don't know.

Jacks has a different way about him than Sandoval does. The other part is like, Sandoval was so shocking. Jax was expected when he did all his stupid nonsense. Like we all, like that was par for the course. It wasn't like we were all floored by that. Right. Sandoval we were, and the apology tour that Sandoval did not take afterwards, I think that weighed into it, too. Agreed.

And last one here from Tom underscore Wittreich. A lot stronger start than I thought, is this the future transfer of VPR onto the valley? We talked about before where VPR could wind down and then anybody who still has an appetite for reality TV, they could pop over to the valley if it's doing well. If it does well, and I think if it even does mediocre, and this does end up being the last. season of EPR which I've heard rumors I don't think that it's set in stone like I said we've we've heard rumblings that this might be the last season like one last hurrah and I think that makes sense if this is like a pipeline to the valley and yeah I think that it's very easy to plug in new people especially you know Jesse and Michelle are getting divorced so they may not be coming back so you need to fill

that role I think that it makes a lot of sense to transfer some people over there you could do Sheena and Brock. That's an easy fit. Yeah. You could do Sandoval. He lives in the Valley. You could do, I don't think Arianna's going to do it. But, yeah, I think that that's the most logical future of the Vanderpump universe.

I mean, they could also do, now that I'm thinking about it, this could be a litmus test to see how it does, see all the valley does, and then kind of do that where you siphon off. Because, I mean, VPR, yeah, they're still going out. The majority of them are children lists, well, except for pretty much Chena and Lala. everybody else is kind of just bop it around and they're doing the same thing and it's getting kind of sad to watch which is why you know the last couple seasons sucked before scandevall i could see them doing that with other shows i mean we're getting to the point now with spin-offs out yeah yeah we're getting to the point now where you can kind of lump together say kyle and amanda in summerhouse they start having kids and you've got madison and brett down in southern charm they've got kids page and craig if they start living together and they get married and then all the sudden we're looking at that we don't want them off our tv screen we kind of have to look at them in a different light how we're going to do like an East Coast version of this where they're all kind of bopping around and doing things, at least for like a summer or like an ultimate girl's trip sort of thing

where it's like, yeah, we've got our kids here. Everybody loves kids. I can see that. I can definitely see that. I don't know. I mean, I think that there's definitely a future here for VPR people. I would be curious, you know,

you could do a spinoff of Katie and Ariana call it something about her and make it about the sandwich shop in their lives. Like there's a lot of question marks moving forward, but I think that, like you said, this is a litmus test to see how is a spinoff?

going to do and if this does well it either opens the door to transfer people over from vpr or maybe test another show because we also know vanderpville is coming soon correct which doesn't involve any of these people but it is still LVP centric like it's her people so BPR universe yeah yeah so I'm I don't know I think there's a multiverse wow wow they made a Marvel multiverse out of LVP. Bravo multiverse. What are we going to do that? The, oh, I got to.

We already have. We already exist. Bravoverse. What's the Vanderverse? Vandiverse is good. That sounds cool, actually. Vanderverse is pretty solid. I'm going to stick with the Vanderverse.

That's what we're going to call for. So if you hear that elsewhere, you know what I mean? There's a lot of evil people in the Vanderverse. So if you hear that elsewhere, started here, baby. We're going to make a T-shirt. Yep. Put it on the list. Put it on the list.

Lots of T-shirts to make. But other than that, we have our live show. Show's coming up. One is May 3rd in D.C. That's a big venue. Get your tickets. We want to fill that place out. And then we got Boston. That's June 14th. That is damn near sold out. So if you haven't got tickets yet, go get them ASAP. You don't want to miss out on nose. And other than that, we got like four more hours of content to make this evening. So we're going to wrap this bad boy up. Rob. Bros. are out of here. See you later. American history is full of infamous tales that continue to captivate audiences, decades or even hundreds of years after they happened. On the infamous America podcast, you'll hear the true stories of the Salem Witch Trials and the escape attempts from Alcatraz, of bank robbers like John Dillinger and Pretty Boy Floyd, of killers like Lizzie Borden and Charles Starkweather, of mysteries like the Black Dahlia and D.B. Cooper, and of events that inspired movies like Goodfellas, killers of the flower moon, Zodiac, eight men out, and many more. I'm Chris Wimmer. Join me as we crisscrossed the country from the Miami Drug Wars and Dixie Mafia in the south. to mobsters in Chicago and New York, to arsonists, kidnappers, and killers in California,

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