Bros & Shows - Uh-Oh Episode in Santa Clarita (The Valley Full Recap)

Episode Date: April 17, 2026

What's up bros?? We're back in The Valley and we might be looking at a potential disaster show with no direction but don't worry, we try our best to steer us (and them in the right direction). It seems all of the things we were worried about with this cast are really starting to come to fruition and unfortunately, we might be in for a whole season of growing pains. From a very confusing situation between Jasmine, Lala and Michelle to Brandon inserting himself into drama episode 1; we cover it all Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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free of charge. BetMGEMGEMP operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. This shows in a weird spot. Valley's in a weird spot. I feel weird. It's weird. Brandon made it weirder. Brittany's continuing to make it. It's weird.

We're in a strange place right out with the valley. The writing's been on the wall. You can ignore it if you want to. I didn't want to be right that we're going down this path. But how do you get out of this? You said we had a couple of years before this path. I don't know if we're there yet. I said next season is the, they're doing, they're accelerating.

as far as I'm concerned. I said next season is going to fall. They might do it this year, which would be, but I don't, I don't really know. I, you know what? That's what the podcast is for. Let's discuss what we think is gonna happen because this was a very red flag episode.

Mm-hmm. As there's a drive in a deep left field by Castellanos. It will be, oh man, it's eight o'clock. And so that'll make it a. I don't need the spotlight. I shine just fine. Hi, I'm Karma. And yes, I am a bitch.

Brov Bros. Good evening, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of Brav Bros. Your favorite podcast from the pros for everybody. For whoever wants to listen, I'm a co-host. I'm a co-host. I'm a co-host. You're also joined as a ways by the one and only, especially this episode, Santa Gut Rita.

What's up, dude? Yeah. I knew this was coming. We only do it once. Before we start, I do want to say this. Can we? Because I also don't want to do the thing. where we like bitch about it the whole episode.

I'm not gonna be it. Can we say, can we just say that if it's contained to this, if they got it all out here, you said, I just want them to get it all out. Maybe they got it all.

If it happens again, I'm with you. We can go scorched earth on it. But I don't want to get stuck on that part. No, I don't. Like, this is a production thing.

They need to step in and say, okay, we had our time in San Clarita. We can still send people out there to do the, uh, the Danny Neas scenes. fine but we are never sending the cast out there because it was just an onslaught we knew this was coming again we talked about it a couple episodes ago hopefully it's all done in one episode we never really

have to go back just not just have like i mean the house is big enough i'm sure they could just have live in producers right like like you caberman you producer hopefully jeremiah go just go stay out there go stay out there and we'll check in with you when we need to but we can't we can't spend the resources to have all these people go out and just complain for 30 minutes. I'm not going to complain about this episode, though. Like I said in the beginning, this was a red flag episode because it's all the shit that like we knew was going to happen. We could see it.

We understand where this is heading. I don't know. And we'll talk about it in this episode, how they pull themselves out of this because it's more than just a funk. This is like, it's a lifestyle for a lot of these people. And I don't know if they could write the ship. And I don't really even know what they do at this point. Yeah.

It's, look, we talked about it for a while, right? Like last season, we'd mention it. Obviously, this season, only three episodes in. We've talked about it a few times. We do this with all of our shows. We point out, like, okay, where can we see some pitfalls here? Right. We like to do this of all of our shows.

We look at the big picture and even shows we enjoy. Like, we will look for little things to be like, okay, as long as we don't pursue this, or if they get stuck on this, we might be in trouble. And unfortunately, we laid out a lot of this, not saying that we were right, but I mean, you know, the shoe fits. But these were literally the things that we were like, okay, if they get stuck on this, it's a problem. They get stuck on this, that's a problem. They get stuck on this, that's a problem. We checked every one of the boxes.

I was in the Santa Clarita box. We checked the Janet, Jason, Jasmine, all of that stuff coming back. Check that box. The Brittany box we've checked. And I think there's one more. had that I was like, fuck, we did that one too.

I can't, I'll think of it while we, while we talk about it. I'm sure it'll come back up. They have to avoid those things and we're fine. But they, they, I knew it and I don't know if it's Jeremiah,

Germain or the cast or just it was written in the, in the stars. But those issues, that's what we're going to focus on. That's what the season's going to center around. And that is unfortunate. I have a really, you're going to hate this.

I have a really bad hot tape. That is a freezing cold take. No, oh, that is a freezing cold take, by the way. That is a freezing cold take. I think they made a colossal mistake not bringing Sandoval and his girlfriend into this. That's absolutely what they should have done. If you're going to soft launch Lala, Sheena, Brock, Schwartz, all last season, and you don't even have an inkling that maybe we should think about Sandoval.

I don't care. It's been enough removed. He is great television. I do not care about any of the shit that happened at the end of EP. are anymore. He's a better TV character. He's a better reality TV star than everybody else that you've brought onto this show. Aside from the core people, obviously, he's not better than Doty. But Doty deserves to take a season off. She just went through pregnancy. She's struggling to, you know, with the early motherhood and all of those things, which we expect. She doesn't need to

carry this show. There should be other people. You bring Sandoval back. That is just absolute gold. So that is not my hot take. Unfortunately, my hot take is, I don't know if this show can survive. in its current format without jacks i i think that the show was kind of built around jacks and brittany and now that jacks is gone and rightfully so obviously now that he's gone you're seeing what happens i mean the show revolved around his shitty antics for so long and it rose people up to like stand up against him talk about him get brittany out of a bad place all of those things that we watch and yeah it was pretty dark at times but it was still pretty captivating television you take jacks out of there i I mean, you built this show around him.

This was, unfortunately, when it started, his show. And now he's gone of his own doing, of course. But this is, again, it comes back to Jeremiah because Jeremiah built this show around Jacks. You didn't have to do that. The difference between that is also this show and other shows. You also do have, and it's rearing its ugly head now, you've got a lot of people in their 40s who are just starting on reality TV for the first time ever. I mean, it's going to happen.

You can't have seasoned vets like Kristen taking a full season off because she's, She was pregnant, now she has a baby, and expect these people to just show up. And that's probably why they brought Lala and Schwartz in as full-time people. But that's not going to save your show. So I don't really know. I think it's just it's crumbling at its foundation, but you can still save it, obviously. I mean, there's still good parts of this. I just don't really know what you do aside from rebooting VPR at this point for the show.

Yeah, I mean, we're not that far gone. And I know people are going to listen to be like, it's not that serious. We're not saying it's like red alert time. It's just, you're seeing a super entertaining show. No. If it's not highly entertaining or even like, I mean,

this episode wasn't even really entertaining at all. But if you have those issues very early in the season where we don't really know where it's going to go, I mean, you have to have the conversation. We'll be the first people to have that conversation. You guys can get mad at us if you want to. We're not hate watching, obviously.

You've listened to our Beverly Hills podcast. We hate watch the shit out of that. If you ever listen to an OC podcast, we hate watch the hell out of that from the start. But this is different. This is more, it was good, it can still be good. I feel like they're just making the wrong moves. Yeah, and that's, you know, I was getting to that part where I wasn't saying that it is like dire straits.

I agree with you. I think that they need to attack this head on, right? I hope that during the season, and I don't have a lot of hopes because Jeremiah is at the helm, but hopefully they saw this starting to take shape. Like, uh-oh, we got a shift. And you're right, because it was centered around Jacks and the Jackson, Brittany, of it all. Their biggest mistake is once you removed Jacks, you're seemingly keeping Brittany as the center point. That's a terrible idea.

I don't know who thought of that. It should have shifted to an ensemble cast entirely. We shouldn't have started the season with Brittany. Should have set the tone to somebody else. Is that enough to make it like a great show again? I don't know. They need to figure out what they're anchored. angle is. They don't know what their angle is now because they they went so heavy and invested in

the dark aspect of this show, you know, because it was such a crazy run for the first two seasons. And there was a lot of shit that we probably shouldn't have been privy to. And we were dark. Yes, captivating. Absolutely. Because they centered the show around that. And we're not getting that stuff right now. Not that I'm saying I wanted to be like the super dark and and like serious show. but that was the structure and now you've removed that aspect of the show but you still want that to be the structure it's not working very well and then you're showing us like all brittany and all brandon and like this storyline that no one cares about there's nothing there's no like meat here right they should have leaned heavier to start the season out with the lacy michel jessey stuff and make that

messy start with that and that's fun it's not that serious it's like okay you know get the beque wet. Yeah, because Jesse and Michelle are two people that you either love or don't really care for at all. And if you watch them kind of tear each other apart, you're going to root for one side or you're just going to root for absolute chaos. I mean, that's a good angle to go at it by. And this all kind of does tie into what I was saying where you've got a bunch of people who weren't really on reality TV. A big problem and it's unpopular opinion, there's not enough Janet. There just isn't enough Jack. I agree. She has been such a shitter that has made things for lack of a better way to do it she's made the show a little bit better with her shit staring yeah

it's been uncomfortable at times yeah it gets a little too dark yeah you don't like janet but you can't deny that when she's involved things start to pop off and there's not enough janet because people refuse to squash their beef i'm sorry but like i don't fucking like dany anymore daddy get off the fucking like just figure it out and again like i said before if you don't know reality tv if this is a different show if this is vr a couple years ago if this is summerhouse You're going to see Danny and Nia by the end of last season or the beginning of this season, squash it, have a sit down conversation with Janet and Jason and get over it. They're not going to get over it because they're normalish people who have babies and have real things going on in their lives.

And they're just like, yeah, I don't want that kind of chaos. I don't need that toxicity in my life. I'm sorry, but you do on a reality TV show. You have to get over it. I don't want to watch this entire season where Danny's getting mad at Luke because Luke is doing, which by the way, I'm sure Kristen was like, hey, go sit down with Jason. And that's how reality TV fucking works. So he goes and sits down with Jason and now Danny's going to be mad at Luke because

I wouldn't be friends with that guy if he said anything. That's not how real. I'm sorry. That's how real life works. That's real life. We don't watch reality TV for like that part of real life for maturity for people growing up and just cutting things out of their lives. Like I'm sorry, but they're on the cast.

You do have to at least have a conversation with them. And where we are now, Danny and Nia are going to have a conversation with them. I mean, Nia was able to at least invite like have Janet come over to her while they're at Lala. and nothing went anywhere, but it was still kind of a funny scene. Danny's not going to budge on that. And that's going to be a huge problem. It's going to be a huge thorn on the side of the whole show.

I think that he's going to take the meeting with Jason. What happens after that is anyone's guess. And like you said, I mean, we need resolution to further different storylines. Because if you don't get resolution, we get stuck on why they're mad. And we know why they're mad because we watched last year. Yeah, I get it. A lot of crazy shit happened. And yeah, you don't have to be friends with them, but you have to be able to film with them.

Right. And like we're now looking at a very disjointed cast with no real storylines. Three episodes in, we're dealing with a lot of very filler stuff. Right. Like even this episode, the main focal point of this whole episode is going to be pretty much the Michelle Lala Jasmine thing. And I'm not even entirely sure what happened because it's a very confusing setup. One person said one thing. One person said another thing.

No one really knows what the main, like I don't know what the point was. because I'm so confused. I'm like, wait, well, she didn't say that. She said that. But then she's saying that because she said that, she doesn't trust this person. Like, why are they involved? They weren't in.

It's very strange. It's very confusing and also just, I don't care. I truly just do not care. And I have more feelings on that. And I'll talk about it when we get to that part. But yeah, it's just, it was one of those episodes where you just kind of dig into it and you realize where all the problems lie. And you don't really know if they're ever going to be able to

over it. It's an uh-oh episode. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Let's jump in. We start out with Doty and Brittany, and they are at the most comfortable plastic surgeon I've ever seen with his clients. This was, I didn't, I love it. I didn't love how he, his bedside manner rubbed me the wrong way. I don't know about you, but. Just a big hug in a lot of complimentary terms and. He was like, how are you doing, sweetie pie? I was like, that's weird.

The pet dames really threw me off. I didn't really care for that. I haven't seen your breasts in a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of weird bedside manner, though. I mean, I remember that from the first couple seasons. And you can even go back further into really any of the shows that people are going to plastic surgeons or doctors in this area. Like, think about last week with the guy who was talking about Danny's balls.

I mean, there's a lot of weird bedside manner from these doctors. Yeah. I don't know. I didn't love it. I guess, apparently. but they're going through the other mommy makeover routine. Brittany wants to get her boobs removed that Jacks encouraged her to get. She wants to get like a tummy tuck,

all this other stuff. She wants to feel like herself again after having a baby, which we fully support here. I just again, it's weird to me that he's talking to Brittany. And then he looks at Doty. He's like, and you're next.

It's like, well, you don't know what she wants to do. You haven't talked to her about it. That's weird. Yeah. I think it also comes to the territory, though, being out there, like close to Hollywood, being in L.A. They just assume that no matter what happened, you're going to want to do that. And they're on reality TV, too, I guess.

So I don't know. It was just, it was just strange. But regardless, we find out that we're having a Y2K party, little girls night for Doty to get out of the house, for Brittany to get out, everyone's going to go meet there. And it's the night before Brandon's coming into town. And that's important. Okay. but the real takeaway from this scene is just we get more from Doty than about where she's at right now mentally. And, you know, she's she's on the struggle bus a little bit, which is totally understandable.

And the big thing is that she's just not feeling like herself, right? The bounce back hasn't been as quick as she wanted. So she's now upset with herself at the bounce back. It's a lot. You know, there's a lot that comes with having a baby. So I feel for her. And I appreciate that she's open about it. She doesn't just instantly feel.

better because her fiance is like, hey, babe, I'd have sex with you right now if you want to you're hot. You look great. Don't worry about that at all. Come on. Come on. I don't care how you feel. You look hot.

Wait, that doesn't work? Apparently not. That's not making her feel great. Who knew? Yeah. Who go? Well, we get our first Jason scene of the season. This guy is so boring.

Like, even when he walks, I'm like, he just walks boring. But Luke wants to sit down with him because he's. trying to further the show because Doty told him to go sit down with Jason because we need to bring them into the fold again somehow. So go try to figure out a way forward. So he sits down and he's talking to Jason about what he needs, not he, Jason, what Luke needs from Jason to be able to move forward. He points out, you called Danny a clown. You called him a douche. You said a lot crazy things last season. I do appreciate that Luke goes in because we've seen this conversation with a lot of people that might have felt a certain way the season prior,

and now they just want to squash everything and move on, so they're a little bit more agreeable. I'm glad that Luke had his feelings last year and is still relaying that to Jason. Now he's like, you said a lot of shit, dude, and a lot of it was pretty heavy stuff. Here's where I take an issue. We're now going into this, not the way I want to go into this. We need to go into the situation to move.

forward. We're going in it right now and just rehashing things. Well, this is where I thought Kristen absolutely told Luke like go sit down with Jason because that's how these TV shows work. And I like Luke because he's like, hey, like, what do you want me to do? I'm having this conversation, but he's still using his own like morals, which he's not wrong, I guess. I mean, again, where we are at the end of the episode with Danny and Luke is very funny because if Danny watches this part, he's going to be like, oh, dude, you have my back the entire time. And Jason did actually think that this conversation was going to go more like what you thought,

where it's more of a like, here's a roadmap as to how we can get back to some sort of even ground. Jason was floored that Luke was just like, dude, you said a lot of shit. You're going to have to just swallow your pride and just deal with it. And Jason's in that weird little middle ground where he's like, I'm, I'm afraid of my wife and I don't really know. I can't say anything bad about her. I have to have her back. But also, I'm a very prideful man. And I got to do it this way.

It's like, no, dude, like you do actually have to be the person, unfortunately, in this situation. There's not going to be like a mutual agreement between you and Danny where you're both going to say, hey, man, said some hurtful shit to you. Yeah, man, I said some pretty hurtful shit to you in return. Let's just let bygones. Like, we're never going to get there between these two guys because they don't know what the fuck they're doing. And they're also both like, well, Danny's not. But Jason's absolutely very afraid of his wife.

And Jason said something that I thought was wild. He said, I'm not a fan of people who do something terrible and make zero. life changes. And it's like, dude, what do you mean? You supported Jacks all skis it. Oh,

I thought I was talking about his wife. I was like, oh, your wife's therapy. That's a big change. Yeah, you're right. Jack's actually a better example for that.

Oh, Jack's such a better example for that. We watched you stand in his corner every step of the way over the last season and a half pretty much as soon as his inevitable downfall was going to start. You were in his corner. You were making excuses for him. You were helping him out when he was already making,

bullshit lies about all of his rehab things. You were trying to help him out so much and you stuck by him no matter what. Your wife on the other hand, what? She goes to therapy now. So you're like, oh, dude, that's a big change. She's making a change. I don't see Danny and Dia going. It's like, yeah, maybe Danny does need therapy.

But I don't really know. It's not for me to say. It's just, yeah, that's really fun. I didn't think about the Janet part. So it's a, yeah. So for two on one sentence. Because when he, that's the first thing I thought of it was like, you literally cried with.

with Jack's last season. Yeah. Amidst all of his bullshit, you guys, like, he's changed. Like, who the fuck? What kind of judge of character are you? So funny. So, yeah, I mean, it, this is the first, first part of the episode that, like, really dive into.

And this is the first moment where I'm like, oh, shit. Like, no, no. Because again, like, we're talking about the scapego thing again. And then he's defending. I'm like, we're literally talking from a place that we were in the last season, guys. Like, this is not good. We need to move forward. So, yeah, not a lot of confidence from that.

But no. We get to the Y2K night. And I actually do love this whole setup, which is really funny that the bar was like totally empty because I do think a Y2K bar. There's something there. I will say the execution in that bar, I wasn't screaming Y2K to me. You're telling me that a Y2. Now, it was a Wednesday night, but that doesn't really seem to matter. in West Hollywood is dying, apparently.

And just take it from Lisa Vanderpump, closing all of her bars. But you're telling me that a Y2K bar on a Wednesday night has less of a crowd than an airplane-themed bar on a Wednesday afternoon. Really? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. This seems like a great idea. I love that they got all, you know, they went all out. Yeah, they Y2Ked out themselves. But those, I don't know what it was.

Those little butterfly clips, like awoke in a memory in my. brain every girl having those butterfly clips i forgot completely about those the party bus seemed a little extra yeah it didn't make a whole lot of sense now i would have loved to have seen afterwards and we'll talk about everything that happened in the y2k bar of course but i would have loved to have seen what they did afterwards i mean they went to all the gay bars near the abbey yeah when they were actually having fun at the end i would have loved to see that too like this was such a weird mess of a scene between the jasmine la la Michelle bullshit. We end up finding out that Michelle had a great night stayed out until 2.30 with Zach and a lot of other people.

And they went to all the gay bars. Like that sounds awesome. Maybe they were a lot of film there, but like we should be able to see what's going on when they're having fun. I agree. That sounds like such a better time. You know, it's like Summerhouse. We get a video of somebody's phone in the bar for two seconds. That's it.

I want to see the fun stuff, man. I don't want to see the empty Y2K bar. This might be like a little insensitive, but. I know it's the show, but like, did we really need five minutes on the bus while Nia's like feeding her baby and Kristen and her just talking about motherhood?

Like, yeah, that's great. You know what? Maybe that's what it is. Maybe this show is having an identity crisis where it's like, hey, we want to be able to show people

that mothers are going through a lot of different things. And that's great. And that's very supportive to that community. But also we've got people like Jacks Taylor who are complete pieces of shit. So where do we go with this again?

Are we supposed to just kind of balance between scenes. I think that might be it. I think that's the equation. I do too. I think, and I think again, it's because they centered it around Jackson, Brittany and the fallout, because when they started the show, we already had inklings that they were falling apart. So that was the build. And that's easy, right? That's easy money. They're like, shit, everyone's going to watch this. Sure enough, everyone did. But when you remove that and you've built this show around being somewhat realistic. You know, I do appreciate that they that they show the journey of the new moms.

I think that's great. And I think that resonates with a lot of people. But like you said, where, which way are we going, guys? Like, there's a way to incorporate that in. But like, yeah, the identity crisis is very real. You know what it should be almost? I mean, it was it was basically created with the tagline. Watch these old reality stars try to struggle with being mature.

in the 40s trying to grow up what it should honestly be and again i'm not saying like this would ever work but if you get to a point where you're having a baby and you're just being a normal person and you move into a nice house that should be like graduating from the show like danny and nia should have just had that last year and then in the interim or in the off season we get a big announcement it's like hey danny and nia have graduated from the valley and now they're living in santa florida congratulations and we clap all around but we never see them on the show again because all we want to really struggle with is all of the idiots who still have no idea what they're doing with their lives in their 40s. And then every time that somebody gets to a certain point, it's almost like

an ascension, like at the end of, uh, God, what's the apocalyptic movie with like Seth Rogan and everybody? Oh, this is the end. This is the end. Yeah, it should be an ascension. Like, all of a sudden, boom, they're gone. They just ascend into a higher tier. And we might see them again when they get enough people on the show. And then it's like, oh, if you want to watch this, here's people going through struggling in their 40s, having four or five kids in their, you know, early years. And if you want to watch that, go ahead and watch it. If you want to watch chaos, though, here's a bunch of videos.

That should be the option that we have. It's an interesting point. I do think that we can label this show is currently in the midst of an identity. It's called a midlife crisis. They're trying to figure out what they want, what they're doing and how to show us. And I think that there's too many balls in the air. I think they're looking around. They're like, oh, we did this.

we did that. We did it. There's no cohesiveness. And it's showing. The cracks are showing. But we're at the Y2K part. This is when it gets weird. Like I truly,

hopefully you can explain it a bit more to me. I've rewatched. I rewound it. I didn't really know. But Jasmine and Michelle are talking. And she's like, are you and Jesse good? Her being Michelle,

are you and Jesse good, Michelle? She's like, yeah, we have our moments. And someone else is there. It's like, oh, I'm sure it's hard to hear that everybody likes them. Like he's charming. blah, blah, blah. Michelle says if it wasn't all,

or if we weren't all in the same friend group, I don't think it would be this way. I don't know if she's implying it wouldn't be this difficult. I don't know if she's implying that that's what I got from it. It wouldn't be so hard because I wouldn't be hearing all the stuff. Okay. Jasmine chimes in and goes, well, you could say that for a lot of people.

Okay. Without the group, I don't think Lala would be hanging out with me. How does that correlate to what Michelle said? What am I missing? Because my brain's not putting it together. No, and this episode was very weird for Jasmine.

And she's done this before. She's very inconsistent. I don't really understand when she gets involved in things like this. Because she even says, like later in the episode, somebody else. And when we're talking about, you know, Brandon being in the car and she even says, like, wow, that's like so messy. Like, you need to understand. you've got no street smarts.

That person did exactly what Jasmine did here. Like you just put your foot in your mouth by saying, yeah, I don't think that Lala and I would be hanging out if it wasn't for this show, essentially. Like they were breaking the fourth wall in a very soft way. And yeah, maybe that's true,

but like, why say that? I don't know. And why say that on camera? And in this moment, in that moment, Michelle said. Not at all.

There's no correlation between the two. And then obviously you're going to expect Michelle, maybe not right away. But eventually she's going to drop that. on Lala and if you and Lala had dinner the other like it was just all very confusing it was very messy by Jasmine and it's not messy in a good way it's not like oh shit she's going to get clocked for that one somebody's going to go after her and she's going to have to eat those words it wasn't even like that it was just like such a non-issue that she made into an issue and then when she's

confronted it's like well I don't know if I understand and we're playing the semantics game going like the whole thing was very stupid and clunky and I did not get for it I didn't either I didn't I didn't get what was going on I was so confused. Lala and Michelle start talking. And she's like, you don't hang out with Jasmine? She's like, why are you talking about? We went to dinner the other night. And then at the dinner, it's like, we've known each other for 10 years.

And they're laughing and having fun. I'm like, what the fuck's going on? Like, it's so confusing. Like, it was Jasmine trying to create a moment, which we've seen before? I don't, I don't know. I don't think she's a good reality TV star, to be honest. And she's done this a lot of times. I just don't, like, she gets involved in shit. And I just

don't care because she gets involved in such weird non-consequential bullshit. And she does it to herself. And then she starts like going nuts and like spinning it around in the different directions. I'm like, how did we even get here? I don't really understand that. And if you're Lala, like I don't even fault Mala for this because this is just genuinely confusing. And somebody comes over to you and is like, hey, you know that person that you've known for 10 years that you went to dinner with the other night and had a couple of laughs and talked about?

Probably, hey, isn't it crazy that we're on the same show? Like what do you think the season's going to be like? And then she turns around to somebody else is like, yeah, I don't think the Lala and I would be hanging out if it wasn't for the show. It's like, yeah, maybe, but like, who cares? What's the point? I don't know. And again, like, all I can take away from it is that was Jasmine alluding to Lala being a performative friend?

Like, that's the only vibe I got. And again, like, given the dinner you just had, like, why throw that out there to Michelle? But then when Michelle is translating it to Lala, she changes what Jasmine said. And then I got really fucking confused because I was like, well, that's not what she said to you. She said that Lala and her wouldn't hang out if it wasn't because of the show.

And you took that as her saying that Lala wasn't a genuine person, which I don't think is what she said. No. I don't even know if she's alluding to that. I think she's literally alluding to like, yeah, it's, circumstance, which is a different thing than Lala's being disingenuous in being my friend.

It's one of those situations that you could see this playing out if Michelle went to Lala like a week later and was like, oh, yeah, things are weird with Jasmine, huh? Well, this is what she said. And then she got it kind of wrong or she kind of took it to the next level, which is what she did. But she did this right away, like 30 seconds later. Like there's no excuse for not saying verbatim what Jasmine had just told you. And again, it was still very weird for Jasmine to say that.

And I wouldn't care if Lala was like, what the fuck? Like what is she talking about? Let's go have a conversation with her. But then when you get all three of them talking, I get even more confused. Because Michelle is saying something different. Lala took it a different way from there. So now we've got like whispered down the lane and we're at the third person and they're saying something completely different. And Jasmine's also explaining it in a very weird way as if she didn't just say that.

We can make the connection and be like, yeah. I mean, if Michelle took it that way, I get it because you can take it that way. It does make sense. But now Jasmine is explaining. in a completely different way as if she didn't just say what she just said. Like she's almost denying it entirely. And it was very confusing. And honestly,

that's what I got from Lala in this whole situation. Like she didn't get activated. She didn't get pissed off. She was just very, very confused, as all of us were. I weirdly actually think that she's been one of the more enjoyable castmates over the first three episodes.

Yeah. Like she's been fine. I've had no issues. Yeah. Yeah. She's only been getting involved in things that she was actually involved in. She's not doing all the bullshit where she just kind of pokes her head in and involves herself.

when it's not warranted. So I agree with you, actually, in a very weird way. Yeah, I agree. But, you know, just to tie a bow on it, Michelle's breakdown when they're all standing there, she says, Jesse can be a showman. Or she says what Jasmine said is, Jesse can be a showman. And I feel like some people can be like that. That's not what she said.

Not at all. Yeah. All right. Very, very loose connection. Yeah, no, we're both very confused on that. All right. Great, great. Hopefully our listeners can explain it to us in the comments.

But this is our quick check-in with Doty and Nia on the bus. And Nia is talking about her current struggle. She's going through it too because the new baby is not taking a bottle. She's never had to deal with this before. So she literally has to travel with her baby because the only food the baby's getting is straight from her boobs. So everywhere that she goes, the baby goes, which means moms here. So it's a lot. And I do feel for like I always appreciate her breakdowns of what she's going through.

because she's so open. And she does it in a way where it's like, yeah, I do think that you're really happy. Like you do love your kids, but it's okay even though you love your kids to be going through all this shit because it's a lot of shit. So it's, again,

I'm sure it resonates with a lot of people watching the show. So I just, I, yeah, and not only just the people who are watching the show, but also to Kristen, who's a new mom. Like coming in there and we kind of knew that that was,

that was going to happen because Kristen and Nia were super close at the end of last season. They were pregnant at the same time. Now obviously this is Nia's fourth. It's Kristen's first. So it's almost like Kristen walks in and she's like, thank God. And she had that look on her face the whole night. She felt that way the whole night.

Like I don't really feel comfortable being here. I don't like being away from my baby. I'm doing it, you know, partly for the show, partly so I can get the hell out of the house for a little bit. But I really don't like it. And then she goes to Nia who still has her baby with her. And she's like, wow, okay. So this is somewhat normalized.

Like it almost makes Kristen, probably feel a little bit better. I'm sure she was really stressed out while she was out all night. So I do enjoy that. Like I do like that we get to see that. Again, it's just I keep going back to them. Like, what is this show? We have this.

But then we have that very confusing altercation going on in the Y2K bar where people are getting really drunk. And then we find out obviously the next day, Michelle was out until 2.30 getting hammered. So like, they're very different things. And the last part of it is Doty talking about Luke because Nia's like, you're going to have some fun tonight. And she's like, fuck no.

No. Because like brain body's not connected right now. Like the libido is just simply not back. And she even tries to be nice. She's like, look, Luke said he's never going to stop trying, which it does feel nice to be wanted,

even if I don't feel that way about myself. Just like, okay. Yeah, she painted it in such a better picture than what we've been looking at. I mean, like, we're not wrong by any means.

No, we're not wrong. She's not an admission of a husband. But we're not wrong. not an admission of guilt from either of us. Luke is going about it the absolute wrong way. But seeing Kristen convey that to a third party in a completely different way that makes it seem almost nice and endearing, that's good because that's good for the two of that. I still love the two of them.

I have no problems of the two of them. Their relationship looks really great. It seems like they really understand each other. But when we have to watch those scenes, we get really uncomfortable. So, of course, we're going to talk about it. Well, let's keep trucking. The night ends because Brittany has to get home because Brandon's coming tomorrow. and I can't tell you how much I don't care.

And like that's again, we can't be making her the center point of this show. It's not going. It just simply will not work. Look at the comments. Like nobody wants to see her as the star of the show. Like I'm not the only one saying this. But Doty and Luke are just recap in the evening a little bit.

And, you know, she's feeling great, which is good. She's like, that was kind of the perfect night out. Like it wasn't crazy. I'm not hung over today. And yes, being hung over with a baby is. I mean, you want to talk trenches. Yeah.

Oh, my God. I like how Luke's like, well, I mean, you can be hung over with a baby. People do it. Yeah, he's like, I'm going to be hung over with the baby soon. Yeah, yeah, he was soft launching. He already said boys night because you had a girls night. I got a boys night. Now he's soft launching being incredibly hung over with that baby.

So just so you know, that's coming. 100%. But we get to Boulevard, Boulevard steak. And we get to meet Brandon finally. And cool. You know, like we start talking or we get to hear them starting to talk and they're just comparing, you know, I got separated from Jacks. And then the next day I came here to celebrate my birthday.

And then he's like, oh, my God, I got separated on the 27th. That's three days later. That's as arbitrary as it being six months away. Like that's not a crazy coincidence. It's three days off, whatever. That always makes me. It's like if you're in a room with 50 people, there's like a 99% chance that you share the same birthday with somebody in that room.

Did you know that? No. That's how arbitrary like days are. People are like, oh my God, your birthday's two days after mine. It's like it might as well be 12 months away. It's whatever. It doesn't really matter. Yeah, unless you go horoscope or something like that.

It's not. That's how my brain works, guys. Welcome. That's the stuff I think about. Yeah, but this was like such a nothing burger conversation. I hated this. This was so fucking stupid. and stupid.

It's almost like they should have, what they should have done for editing purposes, we should have had the conversation between Zach and Brittany lead directly into this scene. Not two episodes prior. Just do them back to back so that we can see the complete contrast. Because Brittany talking to Zach is saying, I'm not going to move too fast.

We're moving very slow. We're doing all of these things. Yeah, there's, you know, I'm not going to say they're red flags. But yeah, he's got two baby mamas. He's got three kids. And yeah, I don't really know. Yeah, maybe that has to add up to something.

And it's just very different than Jacks. And then we get to meet Brandon. And again, it was a very boring fucking conversation. But mostly what you see is their relationship just is very speedy. It's moving so fucking fast. Everything that Brittany said is completely false. They are moving fast. And she has no way of stopping it, nor does she really want to.

No, she's all in. She wants it to keep going this fast. She just wants to pretend to feign. that she's being, what's the word, trepidacious about it so that she has some defense when she talks to Zach. But she's learned her lesson. Yeah. But the more he's talking and the more she's talking,

the more I'm like, oh, God, this is a disaster waiting to happen. This is going to be a huge fallout. Because the way that he's talking is like acknowledging the red flags and things like that. And then you go to her confessional. She's like, my peripherals are up,

which is, I think you mean blinders, but whatever. Yep. She's like, you know, if it's a red flag in front of me, I can see it. But if it's off to the left or right, I can't see it. You just got out of one of the worst relationships ever. You shouldn't have your peripherals up, as you're saying.

That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Also, that's not even the thing that doesn't really make the most sense. I mean, she just used the wrong word. When she said, if there's a red flag over there, I'm not going to see it. What does that mean? Like, in the same person, there's a red flag over there? Yeah. It doesn't make any fucking sense.

So she's making light of a very, very astute point by Zach about red flags and how she can't see red flags or she just downright ignores them. Now she's intercomfessional acknowledging that and also making light of it. It's like, dude, this is, this is what we were talking about. This is exactly what Zach laid out to you. And you ignored even the conversation about the red flags. So your colorblindness when it comes to flags is so far beyond what we even thought it was. Yeah. And for you to sit there and go, oh, we got a lot to work.

through run. You shouldn't be getting into a relationship where you have to go over these hurdles. We should go to couples therapy. What do you think? Now that we're boyfriend and girlfriend at the end of the scene, what do you think about couples therapy? Maybe, you know what?

Actually, bring all three of your kids over. Let me have them meet Cruz. Like, we're a step away from that. And I'm waiting on that one. Like, that's just going to show you everything that you need to know about what

Brittany's doing in her dating life. And I think they're still together too. You know, are they? That would actually make me happy. if they are. Would it? Because I would think that it was just,

she's going back into the same spiral that she was in with Jacks. We haven't seen enough. Brandon to like confirm one way or the, I don't know yet. Obviously, I see some things that are alarming in this episode. But I mean, if it's just like,

he's not my cup of tea and your cup of tea, but they're like she's not being berated and emotionally abused. Like, whatever. It's just more so, I don't know what this is going to look like. We haven't seen enough. Brandon. We saw it. We have. We've seen enough. We have. We definitely seen enough,

Brandon, but not enough. I mean, a guy, episode one, getting that involved in drama is insane. Crazy. Dude, you're not even on this cast, but you signed a release for it. I don't even think you're getting paid. What do you do? No, probably not. But to end the scene with, will you be my girlfriend? Are you sure we're not moving too fast? No. Okay. Good Convo. Way to give him the third degree to really figure out, you know, ask the tough questions on are we moving too fast? Are we moving too fast? No, we're in a good place. Okay. He also lives, which is a very important point here. He lives three hours away. Yes. He lives three hours away from where she lives. He's moving in. I mean, she still has that house. He is moving in tomorrow. He's got enough bedroom to the kids. Mm-hmm. I don't know. I don't know.

But again, like, you know, let's put the episode together up till this point. You know, like, what are we supposed to latch on to? What are we trying to do with this show? Like, what's the angle that we're going? Because we have, and I get that there's different storylines for different people that aren't going to look the same. But there's a theme, usually. There's continuity.

This is just like, blah, like, blah. Everything's coming out of fucking nowhere. It's got to be one of those conversations where it's like, wow, this is so well-rounded. We've got so many different facets of people's lives around the same age group. And that's what we really want to highlight is you could be 42 with four kids under four, or you could be 42 completely single giving people plants as presence. And it's everything in between, baby. We've got everything covered.

It's like, yeah, on paper, I guess that kind of makes sense because it's a really weird spectrum. him, but when we're watching it unfold, we don't fucking know what's going on. We can't be like you said. We can't latch on to anything. No, and the stuff that you're trying to get us to be invested in is not interesting. So, yeah. Yeah. Oof.

Well, as we know, we're going to Santa Clarita today and Danny and he are getting the house already. And I thought this was a very eye opening scene for me. This was very, and I've already been out on him, but just hearing him talk more and more. I'm like, dude, you're not doing. yourself any favors because he's sitting there going, I've never been more happy in my life. I got this, that, this.

I'm like, your wife is fucking miserable. And you're walking around here with a shit-eating grin, saying that you've achieved all of your lifelong dreams and you're the happiest you've ever been. At what cost, Danny? Have you checked in with Nia? Or every time you talk, are you just saying, I put a lot of sex days on the calendar?

Buckle up, honey. we're like I just what what are we doing for Nia? What is she getting? Because I don't see shit. I don't see shit either. I mean, there's something there. They're very weird.

Like clearly Nia is very weird. And when we see moments of her, we're like, all right, yeah, you know, I do like you obviously way more than I like Danny. But there's got to be something weird about her too.

He's like the walking embodiment of birth control. Like do you really want to you really want this to be your, your kid's father for the rest of? rest of the other, like, no, I don't want to deal with this guy anymore than I have to watch him every Wednesday night. So no, absolutely the fuck not. But him going through, like, dude, the fucking accent. I couldn't.

I know. He's just, he kept doing the cowboy accent. She's like, I want to have a real conversation. Yeah, honey. How? He's still going. He was doing the same shit like last week, too. And that's what really kind of aggravated us.

Like, she's trying to have a real conversation about her emotions. She's going through a lot. She's probably going through postpartum. And he's like, we, got to have sex. I'm so happy. What he's going on? And he's doing it in such a worse way than Luke is even doing it. I know. And we know Luke is a good guy. I don't know

if Danny's a good guy. I mean, there's so many things going on with this dude that I clearly do not like. So, like, the fact that this is the end of the episode, we have to talk about Danny the whole time. Like, I just don't want to talk about this guy anymore. He just bothers the shit out of me. Because again, like,

have some feel. Have some cooth, buddy. Like, your wife is literally miserable. And she's making it known. Like she's communicative and she's talking. Yeah. And you just aren't hearing her. You're not listening. You're not watching. Like she doesn't want to be in Santa, like, is Santa Clarito worth? Clearly it is. I don't think he gives a shit. Is it worth your wife being totally fucking miserable, isolated and alone for you to have your big house in Santa Clarita? The answer is no. No. His answer is yes. Yeah. That's what I'm getting. This is a very one-sided marriage that I'm seeing right now. Yeah. Well, let's do this we got to do it we're headed to santa carita with everybody and we get to check in person after person to say their quip about how far it is santa caritas in a whole other realm this is a road trip and a journey and la la how far are we my god we're so far away like i've never been this far away people are talking about like bringing rations and guys i okay

Like, ha ha, stop. Fuck. And I know, like, I'm the one that said earlier that's not get stuck on this and here I am. But I think because of everything else in the episode and then we do this for five minutes, I was like, wow, we really don't. We just don't have anything, guys. No. Nothing here.

They have absolutely nothing. It's almost like we want while watching at home to just fast forward through it all. Yeah. And if we did, we would have missed obviously what happened in the one car. But the rest of it, I'm like, you don't need to show everybody's opinion. on how far away it is. It's their job. They have to go travel out to Danny's house,

fucking get over it. Yeah, please, guys. But you're saying guys a lot. I don't know why. But that's my word of the day, apparently. Now, Brandon obviously comes up in conversation.

And in the Zach car, he's like, look, I'm probably going to love the guy. But when Brittany gets in a relationship, and this is a good point, because this isn't even Brandon-centric. This is Britney century.

He's like, when she's in a relationship, she doesn't handle any other shit. Like, she's not aware of what else is going on. And she needs to get her whole lot. back together, not just her dating life. And I don't think that she even recognizes that.

In the other car, you've got Michelle and Lala, and they're talking about the Jasmine situation. Quite clearly, Janet's been in Lala's here because she says something that Janet literally told her to say or said to her. I heard Jasmine flip-flops a little bit. She'll say something to your face. Then she says something else behind your back. I was like, what sounds a whole lot like Janet, Lala.

but then we get to the Y2K party thing or at the bar. I don't know if she's genuine or not. Then she said she didn't say it. What? What? Yeah, we still don't even know. Like, you're right.

I think Janet got into Lala's ear because up until this point, I'm like, Lala can't even really be mad about it. She can still be confused and maybe like a little bit mad if you read into it. Fine. And just go have a conversation with Jasmine about it. That's all we really have to do. But doing this,

talking in the car, trying to get everybody else's opinion. And then getting to the point where Brandon's getting involved, which I was incredibly confused about. At first, I'm like, how much does he know Jasmine? Like, maybe they did hit it off and they've been talking or he's hanging out with Brittany a lot. And Jasmine's been there. Like, I don't really see a world in which that's true, but I'm going to hear him out. The way he's talking about her, he's like, yeah, every time I've met her, she's been incredibly genuine.

She seems like she wears her emotions on her sleep. She's going to say what she's going to say. And like, I don't really think that she would do something like that or be mean like that. That doesn't really check out for her personality. I'm like, who fuck are you? What do you mean? I'm with everybody else in the car. Like, who is this guy?

What are we getting involved? And Brittany's like, ah, Brandon, you know he's going to get involved. Like, no, we don't know he's going to get involved. We have no idea who this guy is. No,

he shouldn't be talking right now. Shut up, Brandon. Like, you just got here, dude, and you're not even on the show. You're a fucking-

to just lean over and like strangle him with his, with his airplane neck pillow. That would have been there. Put it over his face so he stops talking. Like, this is nuts. I couldn't believe that he just, and he doubles down with it.

It's like, yeah, Look, she's always been genuine and nice to me. Maybe she came off the wrong way. Did you grow up with her? What do you mean? I'm assuming you've met her once, maybe twice. I'll give you twice.

Maybe I'm passing the second time. But the first time, you did hang out with her for about an hour. So is that enough to figure all of this out? No, probably not. I don't know. It was crazy work. But we got to Danny and Neas finally. And everyone's impressed with the house.

We get about 15 more distance jokes. Ha, ha, ha, ha. And then Brandon and Zach meat. And you can tell that Brandon's pouring it on thick. And like, okay, I can respect that just objectively speaking. Like you want to make a good impression, whatever. But I even in this moment was like, mm, disingenuous. I don't believe you at all, dude.

Be normal. Like you could be nice and be normal. Like you are blowing so much smoke upset. I, trust me. I see there's red flags. I got three kids and X, two baby. Mama's like, there's red flags.

I get it. It's like, that's not disarming to me. Like, I know that's the aims to be disarming and be like, hey, like I get it. I know why you guys are apprehensive,

but it comes off as performative. So I don't believe you. For me, this is like a peek behind the scenes because Brittany comes off on camera as, oh, I don't know what's going on. I have no idea what's going to happen. Zach and Brandon are going to have to have a conversation.

We'll see how that goes. No, this seems like you sat down with him, told him every, single thing that Zach said about him and then gave him an answer for all of it. Like, you know what? He was pointing out potential red flags. Get ahead of that.

Talk about the red flags right away and make it in a jokey way. Like you can admit some fault here and there, but do it in a way that's going to seem genuine. Like that's what I got. I got coaching from all of this, which is icky. And it didn't even have to be that way because Zach's, yeah, Zach's going to come off in a conversation with Brittany like he's going to be a hard ass to Brandon. But he's going to get Brandon the chance.

He even said it in the car ride up. He's like, yeah, I'm probably going to love him. he's probably going to, you know, put on a face and he's going to act like he's all cool with me. And that's enough. I'm just still worried about what Brittany's going through. He doesn't really care about Brandon. He might be able to know. Yeah, he could maybe get into a conversation or get into a place during this season where there's a friendship there.

But off the bat, like, yeah, you have to have the conversation, but it's not a conversation. Like that's how we were doing this is we were putting it in the spectrum of, well, Brandon and Zach, who, it's a showdown. We have to have a real conversation. Like, no. They don't have to have a conversation. They just have to get along. Like, I don't know why.

Why did this get so serious, so fast? And now, obviously, we saw that clip last week where we're like, fuck, Brandon's already like yelling across the room. Like, we don't have to have this conversation right now. I actually agree. Like, it shouldn't be a forced situation where the two of them need to just start getting into it right away. Like, they should just be able to mill around and have some good conversations in passing.

Like, oh, yeah, you're Brittany's best friends. Tell me everything about what you know about Brittany. Like, that's how the conversation should have gone. It shouldn't have been an interview. And that's what it was. And it's very fucking weird for everybody involved. I agree. I agree.

And like you said, I mean, Zach's going to give him a fair shake. So you don't have to preface it with this weird interaction. But the minute he walks over with a shot, I was like, I just don't believe this. I don't believe.

I'm not buying what you're selling, buddy. But Luke and Danny are talking. And Luke lets Danny know, hey, I talked to Jason yesterday. And there's some things that he would like to apologize to you for. I was like, when did he say that? Because that's not what I heard. I heard him saying, I don't know. I'm not going to apologize for certain things because we just disagree, but I'm

open to talking to him was the conversation. I heard, but hey, whatever. Are you open to a group setting, me, you, and I didn't even bother writing down the other people. It was pretty much like all the dudes. Like me, you, I'll make it comfortable. It's me, you, Jesse, Zach. And then, you know, obviously we'll have Jason there. And we can all kind of do this all together is what I got from it, which is probably how it should be. Again, I don't. see it going that way. I don't really see it going in a good way at all. But I think Luke, again, like you said, Jason didn't say he was going to apologize for shit. Like maybe Luke's just lying to try to get Danny to the table, which is fine, I guess, but it's going to come back to bite him,

of course, because it's filmed. But at least that's reality TV. Yeah, I didn't really have much of a problem with the way Luke went about it. I had a big problem with the way Danny went about it. And again, it's probably normal to be like, yeah, dude, no, I'm not dealing with this guy. called me a predator like I'm good he called me a predator I'm good I don't ever want to see him again that's completely fair but on a reality TV show you do at the very least have to have a conversation with them unfortunately and this is where producers do need to step it you have to go have a conversation with Jason I don't give a fuck if it's uncomfortable this is the whole point of you being on the show unfortunately yes make him go have that convo and like Danny I now you're going to bar Luke

from being friends with you because he talked to Jason like come on man this is not real life this is reality TV big loss for Luke he doesn't have to drive an hour and a half away oh boy now you're making jokes oh fuck we've gotten to that point yeah I mean ending the convo with like look I want to have my friends together he's like he's your friend if he did to you what he did to me I wouldn't be his friend it's like yes it okay normal sure sure But we need you to just be cordial. Just be able to be in the room with them because, and we said this last year. Like, we don't like Janet.

I hate Janet. But we acknowledged last year she's a necessary evil for the show. It's incredibly important to the show. The lack of Janet in these episodes is very, very apparent. You need her. So you need to be able to be in the room with her. So fucking get over it. It took us an episode to have to realize that.

It did not take us long at all. And we even said, let's see what we have. If these people can still show up and do their job and create good drama, then yeah, maybe we don't need Janet. If Janet steps in and she just decides, you know what, fuck it. I'm going to be the full-time villain. Good. That could be good for the show.

We've never once said, like, get Janet off of our screens. Like, no, she is. We've always pointed at her as a necessary evil. We don't have to like her, but she's very crucial to the show. And if you can't do anything and you guys can't stand on your own two feet without Janet there to cause some shit, What are we watching? Then you guys aren't good at your jobs.

Agreed. We need Janet back in the fold, but whatever. Now shit starts to pop off because Brandon is talking to Lacey and Jasmine. And he tells Jasmine what happened in the car. Like literally, like the whole thing. Straight up. The part that we didn't see, which we should have seen, is him saying, hey, I had your back in the car because that's where all of the rest of the stuff comes from.

Because that implies, as Jasmine does say later, And I agree with her on that. When you say I had your back, you're implying they were talking shit. Now, Lala questioned with a little shit talking in saying that she stabbed people in the back, more or less.

But it wasn't a full throttle like fuck Jasmine party. And Brandon, why are you doing this, dude? Like, what, you thirsty bitch? Like,

why do you want to get involved in the drama so fast? Because it does give Jacks Taylor. You're sitting there gossiping. and trying to stir up some shit. You don't know anybody at the party. We don't know you. And guess what? When you come into a show like this hot and heavy and comfortable,

we don't like you. And now we're not going to like you. First impressions are a real thing. And you have just, you have signed your own whatever. Death warrant. Yeah, but that sounds too strong. You've made your bed.

Now you must lie in it because now we're not going to like you. Not we know any kind of just anyway, but but I would actually say more important than like what we talked about earlier with do you even know Janet like you are acted like you guys are childhood friends this is very bizarre behavior. You also. Oh yeah, Jasmine. Sorry, you're just talking about Janet. Yeah, like you don't know her, but more importantly, you also don't know anybody else. So Lala when she's questioning things at her base, there's a little bit of shit talk. Honestly, Lala when she's being overly nice, there's a little bit of shit talk. in there. It doesn't matter. You don't know that. And when everybody else is disgusting something that went on, if that person's not there and they're not openly saying, yeah, Jasmine's a huge

piece of shit, then you don't step in at all. Like, if they said that, I wouldn't really fault you too much for being like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, let's like back up a little bit here. Jasmine seems like a good person. I don't really know if I got that from her. I would still be like, all right, Brandon, know your place. But at the same time, I would still understand why you stepped in. and I wouldn't be skewering you as much, but you don't know everybody else involved. So if they're just talking about somebody that they know, and we know Lala has known Jasmine for 10 years,

so she's a little confused. Everybody else is like, yeah, that is a little weird and it's a very confusing situation. They're not shit talking her. Like, have you ever been around shit talk? Like, no, it doesn't seem like it. So either you're very confused and you're mistaken, or, and this is probably true,

you're getting involved, which is the last thing you should do right now. It's almost like he became his, he became Brittany's boyfriend. And he's like, well, I'm on the show. Now is when I really get started. I'm going to work, everybody. Let me tell you what she said in the car about you.

And it was not good. It's like, dude, why? This is not the type of stuff that we want to say. No, and you set Jasmine up for failure because of how you teed it up. When you lead off, like I said, when you lead off with I had your back, now she's in defense mode. So when she goes inside to the kitchen, she comes in hot because she's like, I just had a conversation with. Brandon because Brandon was like go talk to her. Shut up, Brandon.

What do you mean? Don't tell people what to do, but she goes inside and she's heated because she's under the impression that they were talking shit about her on the ride here. And then Lala, which I actually appreciate that she just flat out says it. She's like, well, you know, I heard that you have a tendency to say things behind people's back and you flip flop a little bit. Is that true? I'm like, at least you just said it.

Yeah. that's fine. But the whole scene gets very confusing because Brandon's saying, I didn't say that she said anything bad. Jasmine's playing defense because she thinks that they did say stuff that was bad. Lala's confused. Michelle's upset. And we just go in this weird circle of like,

well, I didn't say that. It's like, well, you did say that. Brand's like, I didn't say that. And Brittany's like, oh, Brandon, why don't you get involved? And then I'm sitting. here watching this unfold going, I can't take anything away from this. I don't know what's going on. And now people are mad at each other because

Brandon was talking and they don't even really know why they're bad because they don't know what was actually said. I honestly think that they need to start the next episode with a very awkward ride home. Yeah. It's a very long ride home as we've already highlighted a million times. I need to see them all unpack it in full view. If you're going to subject us to the long, long car ride out there with everybody making jokes. You need to show us the car ride home where everybody's like, what the fuck did we just watch? Like, let's try to unpack this.

And you need to force people to be in the same car. I'm sorry. But put Brandon, Jasmine, Lala, Michelle, put them all in the same car. And let's see what happens. Yes, maybe it's not safe for the ride home. But no, Brittany. Yeah, make Brittany. Brittany and Zach have to ride back so that Zach can be like, hey, what the fuck's going on there with Brasson?

This is exactly what I was talking about. That's what we need. This is good producing is telling people, hey, no, no, no, no. Brittany, Brandon, separate everybody who's talking about this goes in this car. And then Zach and Brittany, you guys need to ride home together. And we need to unpack all of this because this is wild. We'll actually get you drivers because it's going to be unsafe with having the people who drove out here, drive home. But all of you should be in the same car so we can unpack all of this.

Because as of where we are at the end of this episode, I have no idea what just happened. I have not one clue. It was already confusing enough that why. 2K night. It's even more confusing now because we just made this so much worse. And we still don't know what the original issue is. We still don't actually know what Jasmine meant when she talked about it at Y2K. We still don't know how Lala took it. Like everything is very confusing and we have nothing to make of it.

Yeah, we're idiots. You can't, you can't leave it ambiguous like this. They're not going to figure it out. So it's idiots times two. It's idiots watching idiots. It's not going to turn out well. No. And we're almost done.

But, you know, Zach and Jasmine have have a thing because Zach's trying to calm the room down and just be like, whoa, whoa, I think there's a lot happening here. Jasmine, maybe you heard it differently. And he's not wrong when he says, you know, Jasmine, she hears stuff and like it gets misconstrued. And then I actually agree with that. It's a weird time to say it because she was set up here in thinking that they were talking shit. So she's trying to defend herself because fucking Brandon told her. that they were talking shit. And then you're trying to tell her,

she doesn't know what she's talking about, which is condescending and not very supportive. But I do know he's just trying to like wrangle everybody in because of this shit show that started. And why did the shit show start? Is that not rhetorical? Because of fucking Brandon. I'll answer it.

Like you, this fucking Randow just comes in here and lights a fire in the weirdest way possible. And then, and then he stands there. And then weirdly enough, Zach is on Brandon's team. team. I was like, what the fuck is going on right now? Did they become friends? Maybe we're looking at this wrong. That may have actually made them friends.

That's actually worse. This is where I am, though. Like, I can't even tell you what's worse or better. I don't know. Could go either way. No, I don't know. Let's see what the audience has to say about it. Undefinedable. Oh, first one up here from Bree Hit. Danny and Luke are awful. Alex Basket has ruined another series. Can Bravo get rid of them? Alex fucking bad I haven't even gone on him yet

Oh great point by Ryan Stomeman 83 Our best friend Did anyone miss Janet this episode? Yeah I mean she's sorely missed I like her Hate her lover whatever you want She needs to be on the show unfortunately Yep

Let's see Julie Harp 73 Thoughts on Brandon's red flags And is he a super fan I don't think he's a super fan I don't think he's really watched much of BPR, but I do think he sees reality TV and he sees people getting paid on reality TV and he wants to be part of it.

Oh, I disagree. I think he watched all of BPR when Brittany was on it. I think he is a super fan. Yeah, I don't think he's a super fan. I think he's super thirsty. I think he's like, ooh, I get my chance now. Yeah. From Josie T. Bear, why is watching the Valley making me uncomfortable?

We've been watching the same show. It's been making us uncomfortable for two seasons now. Yeah, uncomfortable has been their thing. It's just, it's been uncomfortable and captivating in the past. Now it's just uncomfortable. Mm-hmm. From Kate Elfman.

Did anyone else want to smack Danny when he wouldn't just drop the accent or just me? I wanted to smack him for multiple things. So, yeah. Yeah, me too. From Colie Marie 1. Can we all agree that Brittany's new boyfriend manipulated her with the on-camera ask? He's thirsty as fuck. That's actually a really good.

point. It's a great on camera. Do you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend is incredibly thirsty. Oh, interesting. SDMWVU. Brandigating in the drama was peak TV. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Genuine.

Brandon's burner? Brandon. I might be because where was Janet? Didn't even miss her. Maybe it's not because the same person that asked the question. Should Jasmine have just told La La what she meant? She wasn't cleared. Yes, please.

Yes. love of God. But at that point in the evening, it was such a shit show. I don't think she could have gotten that across. Mm-hmm. Uh, Jennifer M2M, how have we missed the toxicity that is Jasmine? She causes so much trouble. She does, but she always causes trouble in the weirdest way that, like, does not even like a toxic way. It's just like a, like, where did that come from? Yeah. Let's see if we got one more in here. Oh, wait, I got to mention this one real quick from Leah Hall 90, did anyone else clock Brandon's cargo pants. I did not clock as cargo pants.

Gargo pants are back. Cargo pants are back actually. I like him or hate them. I just got a few pairs. Yep. There you go. All right. Let's end on this one from Steck 33. What and who is likable about this show anymore? We talked about it last week. Steel actually coined it that it is the most consistent show.

Good or bad. It doesn't really matter. It is consistent. It is consistent. It is consistent. Likeable, I really don't know. I mean, like Kristen, Kristen's still very likeable. Doty's always likable. Nia is likable at times. And then other times it's like, okay, enough.

Lala's been fine. That could just be everyone else is so underperforming that maybe she's just, you know, skating by. Yeah, Schwartz is Schwartz. So like, honestly, what is likable? Nothing, honestly. Yeah. Who is likable bits and pieces. There's a few culprits, but yeah, nothing solid,

which is kind of the whole point of the episode. It's like, yeah, what are we supposed to, what or who are we supposed to latch on to this season? Because we don't have anything. No. Oh, well. Oh, Baskin and Jermaine strike again. It's crazy, dude.

They're just bad. They're not good at their job. It's not like there's an M.O. Like, I mean, there is an M.O. usually for them. But like, prop up shitty dudes. At this point, it's just really bad producing. That's what it is.

Because I do think that you can take this show and it could have been a completely different type of show where it could have been good and they're just producing all of the shitty aspects. Yeah, because they're stuck in their ways. They think it works because it worked 10 years ago and they're trying to run it back. It's not working. It hasn't been working. I would love to see their track record recently just fucking plummet. plummeting guy.

Damn it. Well, whatever. I'm sure we'll rant about Baskin and Germain much more this season. Yeah, if it's going to keep going this way, that it's going to be a full on hate watch of Alex Baskin and Germain, which is always fun. I like going after those guys. But yeah, I don't know. I don't think the show knows either.

So we will see what happens next week. Next week is a big, big one. Yeah, it's kind of crucial. Yeah, next week is kind of a make or break moment for this season of this show. They need to find something. to write the ship, give us something to dig into. Or, I mean, four episodes in of four clunkers is not going to, the premiere is fine, but it's just because we were running through everybody.

But yeah, if this next one sucks, it's going to be, give me a tough year, tough year for the valley. But that's all I got. You got anything else? Nope. All good here. That's our show. Braves are out of here.

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