Bros & Shows - Welcome The Bachelor, Grant Ellis (The Bachelor Premiere Full Recap)
Episode Date: January 31, 2025Will you accept this Brose? Welcome back to Bachelor Nation, one of our FAVORITES to cover! We welcome Grant Ellis as our newest Bachelor, fresh off his season with Jenn Tran. He was a personal favor...ite of ours. He is back to find love and he has a fantastic group of contestants to choose from. We can start out by saying these ladies have far more impressive resume's than their male counterparts from The Bachelorette. We have some standout first impressions including a t shirt gun, a llama, a big Grant head and a wedding cake to name a few. The overall vibe in the house is fairly cordial as everyone vies for Grant's attention. One woman makes a lasting impression with her quirkiness, securing the first impression rose from Grant. We both thought there were some obvious snubs in the rose ceremony, but we absolutely love covering this show. We end the episode with our draft choices. Both Bros draft a team of 5 contestants in hopes that one will seal the deal and get that ring. Play along with us and let us know who your picks are! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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I'm just excited to do The Bachelor,
and I forgot how much I love this setup.
I forgot how much I love this show.
I like that it's dramatic
and over the top for the entire thing.
I'm just so glad we're back to it.
I like that they just plugged in a contestant
from the last round from The Bachelorette,
and I'm pretty sure he didn't even go home.
They're like, hey, we're just going to let you sit
in the guest house for a little bit
because they didn't even use the guest house.
They didn't use the entire mansion last time.
Oh, that's a good point.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
So, great.
You get to live at the mansion, actually,
and the girls will be here in a couple of weeks.
just make yourself just chill out pal yeah we were bummed out when grant got said
home but it made a lot more sense because his bachelor announcement was like a week
later i was like nah this is planned yeah
pros and shows i gotta have me my bros and shows bros and shows bros and shows i'm your co-host
Steele Russell, joined as always by the one and only.
Do you accept this Goetz?
No, I do not.
That's okay.
That's fine.
Yeah, really excited to get back into The Bachelor.
It's going to be a very different type of recap.
Last time we got to talk about shitty guys.
And now we've got a lot of women coming in.
And they all look very nice and they're all lovely.
I think it's going to be a completely different type of show.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
There's going to be some mind games, of course.
There's going to be some crazy petty moments.
But it's not just going to be weird to stop.
Just dick measuring contest for like a month, but we'll have to see how it goes.
Yeah, I'm excited to get into this.
It is.
It's a different dynamic.
I think the first thing that stood out to me above all else, when we recap the Bachelorette
with Jen Tran season, a lot of the dudes were like entrepreneur, like a bunch of fake titles, like social media.
Yeah.
The jobs of the majority of these women are so impressive.
Like they have a great resume.
they all do really cool shit.
So immediately that's what I noticed was just the,
their employment record is substantially more impressive
than that of the Bachelorette contestants.
Yeah, except for one.
I'm talking about Bailey,
who just is not even hiding that she's there
for the social media marketing.
Oh, yeah, 100%.
Hey, we're going to take pictures of everything.
Yeah.
And I'm going to post it immediately.
And ABC's probably not going to be happy with me,
but that's what I do.
Do you think that she was like paid by a company
to like do the inside scoop of everything?
Maybe retroactively
I don't think up front
They would be able to do that
But yeah afterwards
I don't know
Hey let's see your vlogs
Well let's do this before we dive in
All right
Right out of the gate
Because obviously first impressions matter
On this show
Right
And we know who gets sent home at the end
I just want to hear within the first
Who was your front runner early
Because like somebody always stands out
Linda the llama
Linda the llama
I think Linda is probably
Alex obviously
Alex is your standout
Linda the Lama, but still, yeah.
Interesting. I didn't have Alex Bowen.
Oh, I had it right away.
Really? Just because, and this is so funny, too,
because the first 10 minutes of this episode are getting to know Grant.
Hand up, we know Grant.
I learned more about Grant.
I learned a little bit more about him, but we already knew him.
But that, it's like right on the heels of recapping.
Now, it's a lot.
Not everyone else does this.
I understand. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying we knew Grant because we broke him down.
We got to meet him last time with Jen Tran.
and a lot of this isn't new information,
but we already liked Grant.
We know what kind of guy he is.
We do that he's a little more emotional.
He played basketball.
He's a little bit into music.
He likes to rap.
He's financially stable.
Financially stable?
That's a huge plus in my book.
So I feel like right out of the gate,
we kind of know what type of girl is going to catch his eye.
Oh, so you went deep.
Oh, yeah.
Hell yeah.
I love that.
I love that.
I'm getting real breakdowns over here.
But look, not everybody is, you know,
doing this the same way that we do it,
so they might not be up on.
the Gen Trans season when Grant got whacked.
Once again, if you go back and watch Grant's time on that show,
I thought that his departure from it was a little abrupt.
It made a lot more sense.
He would have gone so much further.
Right?
Because we liked Grant out of the gate.
He was very consistent through the whole show.
And this is us giving Grant his flowers, no pun intended.
But he seemed like a genuine dude the majority of the time.
It made sense when he got picked.
He's very handsome fella.
So all of these things kind of lined up.
But for those that didn't watch, he had a very solid showing
in his bachelorette season and it was cut short like we said in the intro he was named the bachelor
very shortly after that i don't know if that was intentional but we've done this long enough
even before what do they call it the final they don't call it the final rose but i guess the
finale of the bachelorette there is there is a name for that i can't remember what it is uh the ring
ceremony is that sports no they actually call it the ring ceremony so the last day when they
When we all got duped by fucking Devin, that fucking nerd.
Remember that guy?
He had us all fooled.
And then he came out on the reunion or whatever.
It was a total dickhead.
Yeah, just night and day.
That just goes to show you what this show can do to you.
It can point you back and forth.
I hope and pray that we don't get a similar situation as Devin.
Although that was like a first.
Yeah, there's no way.
Or a show that's been on for like 75 years.
Yeah, he's just fucking like, as soon as they got back, he's like, yo, I'm not
I'm not into this.
Like, I'm out.
I'm not going to lie, too.
Seeing Jesse again, love it.
Yo, Jay Palms, he looks great.
He's been hitting the links so hard.
That's all.
He just wants to get back to the final two.
Yeah.
So he can go play golf.
Because it's always a tropical place.
He's already got tea times booked.
He's ready to go.
It looks like they're going to Scotland's though.
So he's going to hit the links.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's cool.
Yeah.
They need like an after show that's just like bopping with Jesse and you get to go play golf.
He should wear like a GoPro.
Yeah, he just wears a GoPro and just chats about the show.
It would be fucking great.
But let's dive in because they're longer episodes,
but these are always fun to cover
because it's, you know, a lot of jumping around.
And like you said, we get to meet Grant a little bit more.
We're going to run through it
so that everybody that's not up and up
with Grant's background knows what's going on.
He's 30. He's from Houston.
Obviously, he's ready to settle down.
Hence why he's on the show.
But when we talk about his family for a little bit,
we find out that his dad is a recovering addict.
he was 30 years he battled addiction so now he's sober so we heard a little bit about that during his
season and how his childhood was a little bit strained he gets into that more they turned to
basketball as kind of his outlet because mom was working a lot to provide dad was struggling with
his addiction so it was cool to see that dad come out and that's something that i haven't seen from
this show i know we've only covered one season but a lot of the times when you get the family members
You don't get genuine moments.
I felt like the dad was being genuine.
I felt like that was a real moment.
Yeah, that was definitely a real moment.
And the fact that he even got a confessional to sit down and talk about it
and how much it means to him, that's really sweet.
It did, however, remind me of one of the big tropes from last time
when we were covering this, where everybody just starts trauma dumping on each other.
Yeah, I forgot about the trauma dumps.
So we got to try to avoid that this year.
There's no way.
Ladies, do you hear me?
Stop.
Do better than the men did.
The trauma dump and the trauma bonding was too.
much.
It came on.
I can't handle it.
But I think when you break it down from it, let me put my psychology hat on real quick,
when you break it down from a psychological standpoint, by the way, to everybody out there listening,
if you are involved with or know somebody in a hat company, then you want, and I'm being
100% dead serious about this.
I'll give you a shout out.
I'll shout out your company.
I'll do whatever you want.
If you send us a psychology hat that says, let me put my psychology hat on or something like
that, you send it to us, I will put it on every time I do this, huh?
That'll fit on a hat.
Just put on psychology hat.
Okay, that works.
Yeah.
Send us that.
Please reach out to us in the DMs.
Like, I would love to have that.
So every time I do this, I can physically put a hat on.
Now, back to-
Give me, like, a stock image or what was the thing that you used to use in, like, the 90s on, like, Microsoft Paint?
Where they had, like, different logos for everything.
Like, if you typed in psychology, it would give you an emoji.
Oh, oh, oh.
It's probably like a brain with, like, a magnifying glass or something.
Yeah.
But, yeah, do one of those on their, too.
Do something.
That would be, yeah, whatever.
You're convoluting.
Oh, and then we can turn into like Ohio State with the helmets, too, and you can get a sticker when you do a good job, yeah.
No, just send me a hat that's a psychology hat.
Please, that would be amazing if you want to, but just putting that out there.
Now, back to business, I think what that does, all right, the more that I've broken this down, the easiest way to bond quickly is to find a similar traumatic experience to bond over.
So I think that I haven't watched a ton of Bachelor, Bachelorette, but I'd be curious to know how much of the initial.
connection comes from, I had a tough childhood, uh, whatever the trauma may be, I feel like
that's a quick way to develop some kind of connection. So maybe that's why it's like the first move,
but there's also sort of like an arms race where you hear that somebody else trauma dumped and
you find out what they trauma dumped about. And then you try to one them up. Yeah. And now you don't
have anything and you've gone through like a pretty mediocre life. You're like, uh, my boyfriend
broke up with me. And, uh, we were on vacation. Yeah. At a beach. It was beautiful, but it was sad.
Oh, a crab bit me.
The crab bit me right afterwards.
Yeah, jellyfish stung me.
And he peed on me.
I wouldn't let him pee on me because he just broke up with me.
Oh, no.
He peed on me and then thought I was gross and then he broke up with me.
That's a trauma.
Now, that is a...
That would be traumatic.
So, you know, I think we just figured it out, huh?
That's how it happens.
But anyway, we get Jay Palms, Jesse Palmer, and Grant meet up.
And look, he's looking for a kind soul that's on the same wavelength as him.
And for those you that don't know Grant yet from this first step,
episode. He is kind of that guy. He's very gentle, very even-keeled. So I'm hoping that he
finds a match here. Now, let's go through the ladies. You ready? Because I wrote down
everybody. Everybody. What they do.
I thought you were just going to, why? That's so time-consuming.
Because I need to-
I've written down like 10 people that stood out to you.
I asterisked them. Okay. But here's why. Because then it, you know how my brain
works slash does not work. And my memory is borderline non-existent.
this helps me remember.
Did you a picture of them?
If I had time, I would have.
But what it does is, like, when they come up on the screen later without the name, I do remember
them better.
Yeah, they need to do a better job of having name tags.
Yes, what the fuck.
I don't know what happened.
It was, it was this episode because I remember Jen's last year, every time that a new guy popped
up, we knew what they did, who they were and what they did.
This one was, like, random.
Sometimes they did it.
People out, and, like, obviously, you have, like, I want to steal a moment with Grant.
And you're like, all right, who are you again?
Who is this?
I don't remember.
Are you the girl with the wedding cake?
Are you the girl with the llama?
Or are you the girl that pulled up in a Jeep?
I don't know.
Actually, I do always remember who pulled up in the Jeep.
She is my favorite.
Jersey.
I fucking love her.
I'm going to save it for when we get there.
But yeah, she's my dark horse to win this thing.
But let's go through it.
We got Rose.
She makes the first impression.
Rose is 27.
She's a registered nurse.
Great tagline.
Will you accept this Rose?
As she points to herself.
Good move.
I'm not going to.
give everybody. I'm just going to do the people that made
an impression. For me, at least.
Yeah, and then you can do yours. Letia,
as soon as she said, I'm from Salt Lake, see, I was like,
oh, Mormon, Mormon, Mormon, and then she goes on to say that she's Mormon. I will
also expand on that and say she is crazy eyes.
Ah. I saw those crazy eyes right away.
Interesting. Interesting. Whatever that's going to pop up.
All right, we'll see. We'll see. But she brings a sparkled
basketball. It says, you bring the skill, I'll bring the sparkle.
Didn't hate it?
Prop work. Yep, good prop work. We love some prop work.
Now, Jeney, who, are we spoiling?
I don't know if we're allowed to spoil.
People get so mad at us.
I know, but it happens at the end of the episode.
I know, and I think it's the people that don't watch and they just listen to us.
Well, what, it's not how it works.
Well, it's already been spoiled now.
So, Jenae doesn't get a rose.
Which is fucking bullshit.
She comes in and does the LeBron.
I'm like, hell yeah.
So I thought that was.
Maybe he's an MJ fan.
Oh, that would have.
He didn't indicate who he was.
He did say she must be a LeBron fan, not, oh, she's,
also a LeBron fan. Oh, no.
She picked the wrong... I thought it was a good move. I liked it.
I did, too. She picked the wrong goat.
Pick the wrong goat. But...
Parisa.
My, my, my, parisa.
Pediatric behavioral analyst.
And I thought that she made a decent impression just because she says,
I'm here for you. I'm like, all right, clarify that.
I have more to say about her later with the PowerPoint.
Oh, yeah.
But we'll wait.
All those stones that she has collecting.
I figured you'd have something to say. I wrote down.
We'll get to that, too.
And then Carolina.
I thought she did a good job.
She's 28 public relations producer from Puerto Rico.
Last boyfriend was a DJ.
And she gives a whole speech in Spanish that's pretty much, you're going to marry me.
I'm going to be your wife.
I thought that was a good move.
Risky.
Yeah, she went on very long.
Yeah, it was long-winded and it was a risky move.
Like, if she makes it far enough, that will pan out.
But that's a gamble because he doesn't speak Spanish.
He does not.
I like his approach, though.
I just say C.
I think that was the right move.
You don't know what you're agreeing to, Grant, but, you know.
Now, I'll do two more, and then I'll let you go, because this one's my favorite.
At number six, we have Allie Joe, 30, boxing trainer from Jersey, pulls up in a Jeep.
White Jeep.
It's out with a pizza.
You're like, hey, yo, what's up?
And, like, that's my favorite out of the gate.
Love Allie Joe.
Love that she came with a pizza with the Italian flag on the pizza box.
Great move.
And then my last one I'll bring up.
And this is, it just so happened to coincide back to back to back like this.
let me just go through the next page just to make sure I'm not missing anybody I want to mention
I'll clean up the slack now I know you will don't worry but Dina
okay because I think Dina's going to be a big time shit stir I think she's going to be the first one
to cause the drama I could definitely see that um I mean I think I think Alie Joe is probably
going to be the one to cost the drama I think that that's just a I think that's a mean
stereotype and I think that's bullshit I think she's going to get that and just because she's loud
it doesn't need it's a Jersey thing it's a Jersey thing it's a Jersey thing
Hey, just wait and see.
Allie Joe was fairly composed this episode.
This episode, yeah.
Okay.
I'm just, I'm throwing it out there.
Why don't you do your list?
All right, I'll do my list.
And leave Alley Joe alone.
I did have Dina down as well.
Latia, of course.
Natalie from Kentucky pulled up with Worry Stones.
I'm sorry.
Yes, yes, yes, worry stones?
No, absolutely.
No.
You need to be worried, Natalie.
Alex, of course, pulling up with Linda.
I like that move.
Incredible.
Bold move, I've never seen that before.
No live animals like that.
Yeah, I'm sure that's happened.
There's definitely.
There's definitely.
There's no way in the 50,000 seasons of the Batser,
someone else hasn't pulled up with a live animal.
We've done two seasons.
No, we know live animals.
They're puppies usually.
I'm saying, farm animal.
There's no way that some other person that grew up on a farm didn't pull up with a farm animal.
Like a horse doesn't really count.
I'm saying llama.
I agree.
You think like a sheep?
What do you think?
I would imagine, or a chicken or something.
I would imagine.
I don't want you to be mad of me right now.
I don't want you to be mad of me.
I'm actually asking you.
I would think.
Let me turn it down.
Chicken.
Baby chickens?
That would be a chick.
But I would imagine at some point during the tenure of the Bachelor, Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise,
which has been going on for a very long time, that somebody else has pulled up with a farm animal at least one other time.
Would be my guess.
Okay.
That's fair.
Rose, I just put it in here, I like their chemistry.
Yep, solid chemistry.
Juliana, who pulled up with a canoli.
Good move.
I liked their chemistry as well.
Yeah, they build on later.
He seemed to take to her pretty quickly.
Chloe, model from New York
with the Ruby slippers
Because she's from Kansas
Appreciate that
Good little prop work there
And there's two more here
That I have is Sarapina
Who walked in with the Big Head
Yeah, big head
Big Head, I made a Big Head grant pun
Like that, like pun work
Big time
And my number one for
First Impression
Zoe with a T-shirt Canon
Was fucking fantastic
I left Zoe
I figured you would pick Zoe
That rocked
It was awesome
Shooting it into the mansion too
And if you don't know where that's going.
Incredible.
Grant was having a great time.
I was waiting for someone to get domed up in there.
I know.
Like into the pool.
Would have been funny.
And then, of course, Chloe gets one of the T-shirts and puts it on, which I think great move.
Great move.
Very funny.
Shows you're not insecure.
Yep.
Shows you like the bit.
Yep.
But the T-shirt Canon definitely stood out.
Definitely played for me.
That's awesome.
I want to shoot a T-shirt Canon.
So nice job, Zoe.
Not to mention.
Zoe, technical engineer slash model.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
That's, that's impressive.
Like I said, the,
vast majority of occupations amongst this group, very impressive.
Yeah, of course, you get the typical, like, interior designers.
Sure.
Same with the dudes.
You get the entrepreneur.
And we already touched on Bailey being a social media manager.
Yeah, you get some shit here and there.
But, like, we had, like, three pediatricians in some regard.
You had marketing directors.
You have wedding planners.
What else do we have in here?
Let me name a couple more impressive ones, then we'll move on.
Oh, two attorneys.
Yeah.
It was one.
Natalie was the Ph.D. student. What else? Yeah. Oh, venture capitalist. You had a bunch of, which could be awesome or it could be similar to entrepreneur. I don't really know. We don't know that much. But this is it. The day you finally ask for that big promotion. You're in front of your mirror with your Starbucks coffee. Be confident. Assertive. Remember eye contact. But also remember to blink. Smile, but not too much. That's weird. What if you aren't any good at your job?
What if they demoed you instead?
Okay, don't be silly.
You're smart, you're driven, you're going to be late if you keep talking to the mirror.
This promotion is yours.
Go get them.
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let's get into it because all the ladies are hanging out and i love the fact that we started with
the bachelorette just to see the different dynamic because in the dudes it's a lot of insecure energy
bowing up and testosterone and trying to put yeah bro like a lot of that shit the
ladies were Jonathan walking in naked.
Right.
Stuff like that.
With the ladies, it's very cordial out of the gate.
Everyone's having a good time.
Like, oh, we're all here for the same reason.
They're all getting along really well.
I'm waiting for it to shift, as it would with the dudes as well.
But you're waiting for something to happen for the bullshit to start, so to speak.
Yeah.
Yeah, this has a very different energy.
It seems like they're making friends right out of the gate.
We like to see that.
Yeah, we like to see them get along out of the gate.
So props, we'll always give price.
Props to good play.
Bailey seizes the opportunity first one.
This is the kind of move you need to do.
We've learned this.
If you want to have one-on-one, you take the opportunities when you can.
She snags them immediately.
And she has props.
We like prop work.
She pulls out a bob wig.
That's funny.
It breaks the ice.
It breaks the physical touch barrier because he put the wig on them.
These are all good moves.
And then they play a little 10 fun facts.
Okay.
Her impression, solid.
Thought she did a good job except for.
Grant, maybe.
Not for me.
I didn't like any of her moves.
That's fine.
The Bob was actually okay.
Bob, I thought was solid.
But having him take pictures of you out front.
Don't love that.
Don't love that.
And then also taking selfies with him again.
You're going to end up just sitting around taking selfies with her.
Yeah, I think.
But when you go down, like, later on when she's waiting for a rose or not, she does acknowledge, like, shit, maybe I was too silly.
So I'm like, okay, was that a move to stand out.
Or, yeah.
We'll see.
You know, let's not jump to conclusions.
Don't pull out your jump to conclusions, Matt, yet.
I didn't.
Anybody have a Matt company?
It's a jump to conclusions.
Matt, it's got conclusions that you jump to.
No.
This one stood out the most, and it's a risky play.
I actually appreciate her leaning into it.
I'm not talking about Bailey anymore.
I know who you're talking about.
Because if you're going to take this route, you have to be all in.
So I appreciate the all in this because Parisa goes next.
And look, she's a big rock lady.
She loves rocks.
Is she like energy rocks or is she like rocks on shrinking where like she's just tumbling rocks in her driveway?
I love that you just shouted out drinking.
More people need to watch that.
I don't know why that's not more popular.
I do believe that it seemed to me to be a little bit of both.
Okay.
Like she appreciates the beauty of the rock.
But I also think she has.
There's got to be some energy stuff going on there.
Yeah.
Just because the amount of rocks that she has.
There's quite a lot of rocks.
Yeah.
It's a lot of rocks.
The other.
thing big cat lady but she wants to change the opinion of what cat lady means fair
sunny's the cat and we see sunny having dinner with her at the table that's a hygiene thing
for me dogs cats get them off also not changing my opinion on cat people that that's another
point as well but look she says i make power points with my friends i've seen this move on tic
talk yeah so this is a thing i think it's funny i do too i think it's a funny thing to do especially
She doesn't marry me, but I think it's funny.
She pulls out the PowerPoint.
She's like, all right.
And it starts out, and it's like the gen trans slide and him getting broken up with.
I'm like, okay, this is kind of, I see what you're doing.
Yeah.
That's fine.
I didn't love where it went because then, like, if it was one AI generated picture of them,
okay, fine.
This is what we look like in the future.
Great.
No, this is their whole life generated via AI.
And then it's timelines.
There's timelines.
It's the wedding, and then it's the pregnancy, then it's the birth of the children, and then it's Sonny approved, which is the cat at the end.
I think if you're going to do this, you go all in and you decide which one of you is going to die first and then also created an eye for that.
That would have been funny.
That would have been funny.
And here's me crying over my grave.
That's good.
That's actually funny, but that's risky.
It's risky because if he doesn't have a dark sense of humor, he could think that's weird.
I think that's great.
That would have been, because that, you know what that sounds?
I would have immediately just stopped thinking about the AI pregnancy pictures and I'd
be like, all right, this is good.
Because that lightens the mood again.
It's like, and here's me, dad, and you're crying.
Yeah, that would have been really funny to end it with that.
But hey, like I said, I will appreciate the fact that she's leaning heavy into it.
She's not shying away from it.
Fuck it.
Put it out there.
If that's who you are, that's who you are.
Be proud of.
I'm all for it.
So everyone's concerned with what everyone's always concerned on these shows.
Who's smooching first?
Oh, yeah.
And the first smooch is usually what causes the tension amidst the group because everybody wants to be the first kiss.
It's the same thing with the dudes.
This is a big deal.
So we get Alicia, who previously states, I don't kiss on the first date.
Somebody else in the room says, anyone who says that ends up doing it first.
Lo and behold, now, as she's sitting with Alicia, it's Alicia and Grant.
They're sitting there chit-chatting.
I like Alicia.
I do, too.
She seems genuine.
She seems pretty chill.
She seems to kind of vibe with them.
She's talking about how comfortable she is,
but she'd rather be in sweatpants sitting at home.
Love that. Love that.
Sure.
Absolutely.
They start quoting the notebook back and forth.
I'm like, this is a connection.
And I'm sitting there going, you guys need to kiss.
I know you say you don't, but like this is a moment.
And they smooch.
So I wrote first kiss.
First kiss.
Big deal, first kiss.
How was the, and I like to rate the kisses, you know that.
Oh, yeah.
I thought this was a 7-5 out of 10, which is solid for a first kiss.
I thought the attention was there.
Yep.
You know, it wasn't too long.
So, seven, five.
Funny about Alicia is, is it Alicia?
I think it's like Alicia.
Alicia, it could be Alicia, yeah.
I wrote something else down here, and I don't know what the context is, but it's kind of funny.
Could see Alicia and Dina fighting at some point.
Yeah, I don't think they're going to get a lot.
I don't think they're going to.
I don't think they're going to vibe.
I don't know what it was.
Dina, like I said, she seems like she's going to cause the most shit.
Yeah.
There's just some, like she takes a couple digs here and there.
Like, she's the first one to make a dig, at least on camera.
Right. Right. And she does that a little bit later.
But the funny part about this is, like, with the dudes, they're all so, like, worried about coming off as a masculine that they act like they don't give a fuck what the other dudes are.
So they're all in the room just, like we said, measuring dicks and drinking whiskey and shit.
The girls.
Saying I don't want to know if she kissed anybody.
Right.
The women, they're like in the bushes.
They're, like, peeking behind the fences.
They want to know what's going on.
They want the tea, which I think is a.
much smarter play. I want to know what's going on.
I got to figure out who's a threat. Yes.
So I like that move. It's also funny to hear them in the bushes and shit,
like talking a little smack gossiping, trying to figure out what's going on.
So Alicia returns, super quiet, does let it slip that she kissed him.
They obviously already know that because a lot of them saw that. But up next,
Juliana. We both agree as a frontrunner, for now at least.
And at the end of this, we'll do what we always do. We'll draft our teams.
That's trying to remember what we did. We did, I'll have to look in my notes because I think I still have it.
Seven?
I think we did five and five.
Five and five.
You can redraft when somebody gets booted.
That's right.
So you get five and five,
and then you get to repick if your person gets eliminated.
That will come at the end of the episode,
because we know,
obviously,
who's still around.
We'll draft our teams.
All right,
should we flip for who goes first,
or is it you because you won Bachelorette?
I'll give it to you.
Wow.
Oh, you're deferring.
Deferring.
Deferring.
Deferred the second half, yeah.
Oh, fuck.
That makes me uneasy.
That makes me uneasy.
That makes me an easy.
love that she pulls out the piano.
It's a great move.
It shows that, you know, your culture.
It shows that you're a musician.
It shows that you're, like, just a little worldly.
A little Moonlight's Nata.
Yeah, love that move.
A little beef oven to break the ice.
A little beef oven to break the ice.
But she gets us a little more background.
Comes from a big Italian family.
We get that lovely scene of, like, the car karaoke,
which didn't expect them to sing if you're happy and you know,
clap your hands.
But hey, grandma was in the car.
Did you think of her two favorite artists?
Oh.
what was it, Pop Smoke and
Frank Sinatra. I love it.
The duality of humanity.
RIP, Pop, Smoke.
Yeah, rest in, pouring out.
But she comes from a long relationship.
She got cheated on a lot.
And we secure the second smooch of the evening.
Now, this one I gave a solid 8.2 out of 10.
I thought that this was a little more tension
between the two of them, a little more smoke, if you will.
Now, between Alicia and Juliana, because these, I have Alicia going far.
Okay.
Who do you think made a better connection?
Because that's going to give me a mental image of how you're looking at this game.
Juliana.
Juliana?
Okay.
I agree, actually.
But it's funny because now the ladies are starting to press.
Now they're getting a little concerned.
We got two kisses.
Everyone else is concerned if they need to smooch them or not.
I actually took a note of everybody that he selected at the end and who kissed and who didn't kiss because I was curious about that.
But anyway, we got Graham.
with Carolina, and she's talking about her family as well.
It's a lot of family stuff.
Yeah.
And you can tell the people watch.
Family guy, yeah.
That's why.
He started off the episode with his family.
Correct.
And last season.
So he drives a Ferrari, but he doesn't drive a Ferrari?
I was confused about all of this, by the way.
He pulled up last season in a Ferrari.
And he pulled up to his family's house in a red Ferrari.
Oh, he did?
Yeah.
I didn't see that part.
I write you, hey, watch your tone.
Because I write things down this whole time, so I miss little things.
That's why I was confused, though.
He's like, no, no, and she's like, oh, yeah.
I saw you in a red Ferrari, so, like, maybe.
Maybe they just gave him the Ferrari again to pull up to his family's house?
I don't know.
Perhaps.
Maybe you rented it?
Because I know, like, that one dude from last season definitely rented that car.
Jeremy.
That's the guy who turned out to actually be kind of cool at the end.
Yeah, we like Jeremy.
Although, no, he was partying with Devin.
Oh, yeah, no, never mind.
He stinks.
We don't like him.
Yeah, boo.
Boo.
But Grant's definitely into Carolina.
And she made a solid impression.
She cries, which she thinks is like a negative.
But, you know, it's good.
Because Grant's a vulnerable guy.
He showed him you're vulnerable.
Good move there.
Show some emotion.
Exactly.
So amidst all of the drama, we get a mystery woman enter.
Who did you think it was?
His sister.
I thought it was Jen.
Oh, did you?
Wow, that would have been such a mind fuck?
Yeah.
What if she joined?
And then she just left.
Oh, man, I would.
It's going to be like last, during the Bachelor, when Jen had, like, her ex-boyfriend show up.
Flew to fucking Sydney?
Or New Zealand or Sydney or wherever.
I know.
It was Auckland.
Yeah, it was wherever the hell they were.
Too much traveling for me.
Yeah, I thought that it was going to be Jen
And it was going to be like, oh shit, all right, cool
Well, technically, wait a minute
They could still do it
They could, she's still single, no?
I think so, I don't know, I don't keep tabs anymore, but
Bring her on
Yeah, could be funny
I missed my opportunity, Grant, I want another shot
I like that
Yeah, I like that
They'd have to break the fourth wall though
Because she'd be like, oh, I sent you home too early
Because you had to be The Bachelor
Well, you don't have to do that
You can literally say anything else
The wrong guy
That's it
I fell for Devin's shit.
Like, there's a lot of opportunities there to get yourself back.
You can still do it.
Look, I think they're going to have to see how things go here.
Look, I think that he's got plenty of viable contestants to be his wife.
I think he's got a solid group here.
So I don't know if you need Jen.
Let's see.
It would just be fun to throw that into the mix.
But get the big sister speech and you can tell what she's doing, trying to scare him a little bit,
also trying to, like, read the vibes, which I appreciate.
I like this move.
Keeps them on their toes.
You also get to see how they interact with his family members.
that's an important part
and you get to do it
before we go to hometowns
which is, you know,
that's only what,
three people get to do that?
Yeah?
Sure.
Sure.
Totally.
But you get to see her
with all the ladies
and she gives them a run down
like he had a seven-year relationship
and, you know,
Latia, I thought,
made the best impression
on the sister.
Yeah, I think so, too.
Because she was inquisitive.
Latia very quickly climbing up the ladder.
I mean, she had made a good impression
out of the gate.
Yeah.
But I'm curious how she's going to maintain.
we'll see because this all changes and it goes right to lydia and grant and her big thing is that
grant's a communicator he's vulnerable all these things it's great it's lovely so we get through
everybody we're going to speed through it a little bit we don't have to go through every single
first impression rose who were you giving it to before we find out who got it i figured either
alicia or juliana that's what i thought was going to go so did i first kiss or most meaningful
kiss yeah or most meaningful connection even maybe
And then I was like maybe it could be Rose, though, too, because she was a little vulnerable.
So my mind was in a pretzel.
Yeah, mine was too.
And the girl who brought the Lama got it.
Yeah, we're not there.
I see that coming.
No, I didn't either.
But, but, I mean, we jumped ahead because, like, Jay Palms has to walk in there with the rose and puts it down.
It's like, stressing everybody else.
Yeah, everyone's like, oh, fuck.
And then he's like, by the way, this rose means a lot more than just the first impression.
not only do you get to move into the mansion.
You get your first one-on-one date with Grant.
We know how important one-on-ones are.
This is the first one-on-one,
which is arguably the most important
because you can make the best impression.
You can be a front-runner immediately,
even if you had a tough first impression.
So all you have to do is get that first impression rows.
I guess that is an oxymoron.
If you have a bad first impression,
you're not getting the first impression rows, my bad.
But...
Unless you clean it up for your second impression.
That's right.
When you have the one-on-one talk, you can still get it.
That's a good point.
But you get to see Grant and Alex talk.
And you know what?
I really like Alex because, yeah, she's quirky.
Yeah, she's a little strange, but she leans into it.
I'll always respect anybody that leans into their weirdness,
i.e. Parisa, kind of strange with the cat shit, kind of strange at the AI stuff.
I love that she just fucking leans into it.
I respect it, yeah.
You too.
So Alex leans into her quirkiness.
And lo and behold, resonates very well with Grant because he's like, I love your energy.
I love your outlook on life.
And it's kind of nice because very calming present.
presents ball of energy over here.
And they do a little French.
This gameplay out of Alex, I was not expecting.
Nope, not at all.
Phenomenal work.
Very good work.
They go through a couple of French phrases.
Would you like to try?
Are you asking me?
I'm asking you, yes.
Absolutely not.
You don't want to try to do it?
No.
Are you sure?
Nope.
Except two.
Tool horse.
Which I forgot what to say it.
I know that's horrible.
Don't worry.
Anyway that speaks French,
I will not even try again.
I just didn't know if you wanted to try.
Do you pause it and go to the subtitles
and write it down what it said?
No, I had subtitles on.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, and I just jotted it down
while they were doing it.
Yeah.
But that means accept this rose, obviously.
And then the last one is
something, something.
Normally I charge my clients,
but I'll charge you a kiss,
which is a great, great move.
Not only that, but they smooch.
This is kiss number four.
We're keeping track, by the way.
Kiss number three went to Latia.
yeah just so we're on on track of who's smooching who yeah this is kiss for this is the best kiss thus
far this was the most most meaningful most energy yeah you know and i i you get to say at the end
too a french kiss i'm like but um perfect nailed it yeah i will say that going into it i did
not expect alex to get that rose afterwards i was fully convinced that she deserved it i agree
after their one-on-one scene and like they she gets it after the scene but yeah once they did this whole
thing. I'm like, all right, she
again, leans into the quirks, and
it worked. When you leaned into
the quarks, sometimes it works. I knew you were going to. Yeah, baby.
Let's go. Glow in your eyes
just popped up when you said that. You like that?
Well, the fifth kiss goes to Vicki bottle
service. Viva lost
Vickie, we'll call her as well. She is a nightclub
server, so she actually legitimately
walks out with the bottles and sparklers.
So I was very confused
about this scene, because
we don't get a continuance
a continuation.
Continuance would be a court thing.
Yeah.
I desperately want a continuance.
Continuation.
A continuation.
Because Zoe and Grant are chatting, right?
And she's already made a great impression.
I think she's going to get a rose no matter what, but they're having a good talk.
And Savannah, who seems very sweet.
She's the one that brought the wedding cake.
Yeah.
And she hasn't had a chance to talk to him.
And she's like, I just felt bad because it's like she mustered up the courage.
She's like, I just got to do it.
I got to go make my impression
because I don't have a lot of time left.
You got this Savannah.
Get the cake and get out there.
And she walks out and Grant's making out with Zoe
and she just goes, oh, fuck.
Nothing comes from this.
Nothing comes from it.
I've rewound it.
It's her tail between her legs and walks away.
We don't even see that.
I know.
I know.
You just get a cut to what I would imagine is a commercial.
I watched it on Hulu.
You get a cut.
And then the next scene picks up with Natalie and Grant.
Yep.
What the fuck?
I don't know.
I think that was just her one chance and she missed it.
Bad timing.
Show me that.
I want to see the moment.
You want to see the sadness?
No.
No,
because she seems so nice.
Yeah,
and it was probably really sad.
But I wanted to know what happened.
And why you could get in there.
Walk up and say,
excuse me.
In the middle of the kiss?
And just stand.
Oh,
no.
Stand there.
Drop the cake.
Just tumbles out of your hand.
Oh, that would be great.
And then call him an asshole and walk away.
You monster.
And, like,
throw the cake. No, I think... Oh my God. I just didn't want her to miss her chance. I think she did.
I think that was the moment. I think the grand could have leaned into it. Like, there's so many things
she could have done with that cake too. Like, you could put the cake next to each other, like, had a
good conversation and then grabbed a little bit of the cake and smush it on his face. Yeah. Or like,
let's cut our cake. Save this for later or something. Let's practice cutting our cake for the
wedding. Oh, well, that's a little much. But I guess, yeah, for a show. No, the whole point is to get married.
I have such a hard time fucking drawing a line. You must. We must draw lines here.
This is the Bachelor universe.
It's different.
I know.
I'm still scarred for the PowerPoint presentation.
Are you?
Yeah.
I still love the PowerPoint.
I love the PowerPoint.
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But like I said, it cuts immediately to Natalie, who is going to get her PhD in psychology.
She works with children in hospitals, and I like this move.
She does the smell of the flowers, blow out the birthday candles.
It seems like they had a nice connection there.
And no smooch, but smooch on the cheek from Grant.
So I keep notes of all of these things.
You got to know what the connection is making.
So I thought she made a great impression.
I thought this was really good.
I could not focus, though, because I'm still, while I'm watching this, I stopped rewound twice
because I thought I missed Savannah.
Genuine.
I was like, I need to know what happened.
I didn't.
I know I didn't.
It makes it feel better.
I was confused, too.
I didn't rewind.
Okay, good.
Well, for note purposes and for my heart.
What happened?
It would have been heartbreaking.
It would have.
The, oh, fuck was funny, though.
I wish that that was not bleeped out.
But we get Rose again with a ghost moment.
Yeah.
Fucking great.
Yeah.
This was so good.
She's like, let's make rings out of clay.
And they do like the blindfolds and everything.
It was a very ghosty moment.
Very romantic scene.
Yeah, I like this one.
I like it.
Yeah.
I think Rose.
Creative and romantic kiss.
This was.
This was the most passionate I wrote.
That's funny.
And by the way, this is kiss number six.
Correct.
All right.
So we've had six smooches, at least six on screen.
Because like I said,
And Viva Las Vicky got a smooch.
But six kiss and a blindfolded kiss.
Yeah.
Whilst playing with clay.
Kind of hot.
It's kind of hot.
I'm not going to lie.
Not going to lie.
Yep.
But now we get to the first impression rose, which is brutal because he literally walks
by every woman in the house to try to find Alex.
Yep.
He's like, ladies.
And they're like, oh, ha.
And everybody that we thought, too, because in that first group, I think
Alicia may have been in that first group.
And I'm like, oh, maybe it's her.
Nope.
Right past.
Next group, I think there was Rose.
I thought Rose had it.
I thought Rose had it too.
I thought it was Rose or Juliana.
Yeah.
And they were in the second group and I'm like, oh, maybe.
Nope.
Right past.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
But we get to the Rose ceremony itself.
And obviously, tensions are high.
A lot of people didn't get to do a whole lot.
We didn't see everybody, which is normal, especially early on.
There's too many people.
Wait too many people.
So let's go through it.
I obviously listed.
Who got roses?
Yep.
Okay.
Numerically and who got smoked.
I have pulled up who got.
booted. You can do that at the end.
Joe pictures, too. I would be great.
If you. That would be awesome. Yeah. Great. Thank you.
So, first rose. Obviously, we know Alex is safe with the first impression rose.
Rose number one, Latia, kissed.
Rose number two, Rose, kissed. Rose number three, Zoe, kissed.
Rose number four, Ella, no kiss.
Rose number five, my girl, Ali Joe, no kiss.
Number six, Natalie, no kiss. Number seven, Juliana, kiss.
Number eight, Vicky, kiss. Nine, Carolina, kissed.
then you got bailey dina cloy rebecca seraphina alicia and everyone's biting her biting her nails oh god
is she gonna get it because paris is bugging and parisa secures the last one it was bugging jane probably
should have gotten that so i wrote snubs yeah my two snubs my big snubs were jane and savannah
because i thought savanna got hosed but i don't think grant knows that i don't think grant knows that either
you know but jane i was shocked i thought jane had it i really liked her so we also had uh christina went
home. He was a marketing director from
Fargo, North Dakota. I wrote
something down here. This was pretty
tough. Grant whispered in
her ear, go find your person.
Oof. I actually wrote Oof.
Did you write Oof? Yeah, that's like salt in the
wound. Yeah, that was pretty tough.
Then, Jenae, as we know about,
that one didn't really make a whole lot of sense to me, but she
went home. Kelsey, an interior designer from
Brooklyn. We didn't really meet her.
And Kylie,
retail manager from Wilmington, North Carolina.
She was pretty upset about it, but
it happens
uh
Nisi
we didn't meet her
didn't meet her at all
pediatrician from
Blathewood
another pediatrician
and uh
Radica
oh yeah
she did the
the Bollywood dance
when she came up
I actually thought that was a good move
thought that was a lasting impression
I thought she was going to make it
yep
yeah
so look
it was stressful
we got through it
but it was stressful
we got through it
and don't worry
so this first episode's always a lot
of uh details
you know
it gets a little looser as we go.
We get to talk about the funny scenes and dates and stuff like that.
But we got to get everybody up to speed.
We got to know who our contestants are.
We do.
Who the front runners are.
This first day is such a big thing because I do think this.
You want to hear my map?
Yeah, sure.
My timeline, if you will.
So I feel like a good first day is so important because this can get you through like two weeks of gameplay.
If you have a solid first night with them, I think it can secure the bag for a little while.
Then it changes as you go along.
But I think that this can secure you a spot for.
at least the two first row ceremonies.
And then I think after that is when you have to start doing a little bit more gameplay.
And then I tend to think that, let's do it in three acts.
So act one would be this.
Act two is the middle game.
And act three is we make it to the end.
Act two is all about harboring.
Is harboring the right word?
Probably not.
Harnessing?
Harnessing that connection.
Yep.
And growing that, finding things you get along with, but also making a statement along
the way.
And then the third one is.
Act number three is showing that your family's normal.
More or less, yeah.
So that's how I think of it.
But I think you can get pretty far in this game if you just have a great first night.
That's very true.
But let's draft.
Let's do our draft.
And then we'll do some questions.
You have your list there of who?
Yeah, I do.
So I've got a list in front of me as well.
Okay, cool.
I'm going to, I'll put a...
Give you first pick.
We're doing five each, buddy.
Fuck, I don't like having the first pick.
I don't like what you deferred.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
I'll take that.
No, I don't do that.
I don't like that either.
Well, I'll look at your plate, you know.
Because now you're, you're trying, it's a power dynamic now.
The actual gaslit into the power dynamic.
Why don't you shut the fuck up?
How about that?
Why don't you sit on your couch, shut the fuck out?
I'm going to draft my players.
All right, go ahead.
So my first pick in the 2025 Grant Ellis Bachelor draft, pick number one for me, goes to my girl, Allie Joe.
That's such a bad pick.
I was not going to pick her, and you knew it.
That's fine.
You could have had her fit.
Great, cool.
Wow.
Just brutal.
I don't need your opinion.
I don't need to, because here's the thing.
You want to know why?
What?
Do you genuinely want to know why?
What?
I put a lot of thought into my Bachelorette roster, and I got fucking smoked.
So maybe part of me right now is going against some of my instincts because all of my guys turned out to be fucking losers.
For those of you keeping score at home, I think the final score, I still had like three guys left.
Oh, you had two left.
There was one point where I had three and I had one left.
Yeah.
And there's nobody left on the bench.
ended with two and zero.
I lost my last guy at zero, but I had Sam M, which was fucking like a disaster.
Yeah, you did that whole first impression.
Yeah, bro, I had a tough, I have a tough showing.
So you know what?
I'm going to go against the grain, and I'm going to Allie Joe.
All right.
I'm going to go with Rose.
Oh, hold on.
I need to write our teams down.
Yep.
So I got Allie Joe.
We got Snake draft?
You got Rose.
Do you want it?
We can do Snake.
We didn't do Snake last time.
So you go ahead.
We did do Snake?
No, we didn't.
We can change it up.
Okay.
Then in that case, I'm also going to go ahead.
with Alex.
Okay.
With a knee at the other name.
I think that because Alex got the first impression rows,
I don't think it's going to last.
That would be shocking if she gets first impression and she gets married.
So my second pick is going to go to Zoe.
Okay.
And that, whoa, whoa, it's snake draft, bitch.
Slow down.
I know.
And then my third pick, Juliana.
Okay.
I'm going to go with Alicia.
Okay.
And Natalie.
solid solid oh fuck these are my last two okay all right all right focus focus up steel come on
oh man i don't want to pick ones that i'm like oh she's definitely gonna make it
because i feel like i did that last time i got posed dare i do i can't do it i can't do it carolina
i was gonna say you can't have both of the winner team like that that's not gonna look yeah no
i can't i know who you're really i'll save her for my second round when someone gets booted
inevitably.
That's so funny.
And then my last pick.
See, the problem is we haven't seen a lot from some of these other people yet.
So I really know what I'm picking.
All right.
Last pick.
You know what?
Fuck it.
I'll take Dina.
Okay.
My last pick, I'm going to go with Letitia.
Oh, fuck.
You mean Latia?
Latia, yeah.
Oh, fuck.
I missed that.
How did I miss that?
Damn it.
All right.
That's a good team.
All right, so let's run through it.
We still have on the bench, and for those of you're playing at home.
Yeah, draft your own teams.
Draft your own teams.
And also, if somebody gets sent home and there's still some reserves, you're allowed to pick one up.
Yeah, you can pick one off the bench if one of your people gets whacked.
Both of us lose people.
Then I think we do Rock Paper Scissors.
It's Rock Paper, Sizzards, who picks first, yeah.
So left, we still have Ella, Vicki,
Yep.
Beverly.
Yep.
Bailey
Yep
Chloe
Rebecca
Yes
Seraphina
Yeah
And that's it
And I'm Parisa
Okay
Because neither of us
Wanted to touch that one
Yeah
Nope
That's what I was saying
You can't have
Ellie Joe
And Perisa
No that's fair
That's fair
Okay
So I like our teams
Thus far
It'll be interesting
To see how it shakes out
For sure
But
It always is
Yeah
So those you at home
If you want to
Draft your own teams
Go ahead
And draft your own teams
all right but now the fun part
are we got our teams what's what's the
wager we didn't we didn't bet on the first one
did we? So let's do a real one now
is we allowed to like do a monetary bet
on a podcast like this
it's like unregulated
what do you yeah what's? Are we allowed to I don't know
what the rules are why the fuck would
anybody care if you and I bet on our
own podcast who on earth
the FCC
I don't know the IRS
breathing down our necks
oh don't even start
you fucker let's say dinner
your choice
winner's choice
and loser pays for it
and literally anything you want
okay I like that
okay cool so that's that's the bet
those you at home send us your rosters
you get to pick five we would prefer you draft
you know what let's make this a thing
those are you at home with a significant other
you sit down and do your own draft
and keep up with us along the season
we'll make this try to make this a thing
everyone send your brackets and we'll see who last
all right yeah and then if you brackets not brackets send us your roster you know what i meant
and if you make it to the end and you win but you have to send it to us within the next week
before the next episode airs and if you win we'll send you a t-shirt it's a braf bro's t-shirt
not a bros and show's t-shirt because you got to update our merch but how about that we sure do
you get a t-shirt and a shout-out so yeah and a shout-out with your significant other
make your own roster i would love if you film the draft and post and tag us in it that'll be
fucking hilarious, and we'll all go through this crazy roller coaster together.
We sure will.
And then I'll stand over your fucking grave when I win and eat a $400 rib-eye steak,
and then I'll throw the bone at you.
Shooter, not you at home.
Wrong words for a guy who got smoked last time.
Got torched.
I did.
I got my ass whooped.
And by the way, I think we were on, like, episode three, and I was like, fuck.
Yeah, you were losing everybody.
You were losing people, and the people that you still had left were assholes.
They were.
I had a tough team.
You still had Sam M.
He lasted too long.
Yeah.
I needed him out of there so I could redraft.
And he bamboozled everybody.
Not really.
After episode two,
we tagged him.
That's what sucks.
I had to watch it like transpire.
I'm like this guy's the worst.
We knew it after episode one, really.
You just didn't think it was that big of a deal.
I didn't.
He's making a big stink about Devin.
I think he's just,
he'll be all right.
He got the first rose.
Yeah.
All right.
See,
there's my first rose theory.
Yep.
Yep.
So it's going to come back to bite you in the ass.
But yeah,
buckle up,
everyone we love doing this these are some of our favorite episodes because they're just fun a little bit
more late so uh yeah you got anything else nope nope that's our show bro's got to go proud bros are
out of here whatever tagline you want to use bye american history is full of infamous tales that
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