Brown Girls Do It Too - A Hole New World

Episode Date: September 23, 2022

The time has come...

Just a friendly word of warning the language in this podcast gets a bit cheeky Yes, if content of an adult nature bums you out then this one isn't for you and there's not a whole lot we can do about that But if this public service

announcement hasn't deterred you then feel free to crack on. Brown girls do it too. If you didn't know already, and us naked in the thumbnail didn't give it away, this is a sex podcast. And if you can't tell from our voices, we're actually British Asian babes. We really are. I'm Robina. I'm Poppy.

And this is Brown Girls Do It Too. Hello. I'm Robina and my bum is brown, wobbly, grabbable, but has never been penetrated by a penis. I'm Poppy and my bum is round, rotund and ripe for the taking. Today is the day that every sex podcaster dreams of. It's the anal special! That's right, this is a bumper episode packed with buttocks, backsides and booties. We'll be smashing down the back doors of rimming, pegging, scaplay and butt plugs. Whether you're a top or a bottom, you like it fast and furious or you're just anally curious, this one's for you. I'm so excited to do this episode, by the way.

Like I haven't. I'm an anal virgin, as I've already told you. But I'm fascinated by my bum hole and therefore other people's bum holes. And I like my partner's bum holes. And I have done like that forever. Do you know what I did for the first time the other day? It's a task. It's actually a piece of homework that you set for me in series one of Brown Girls Do It Too,

which is look at my vagina with a mirror down there. I did that with my anus. And I was like, fuck, I've never seen my asshole before ever in my life. Yes. It's so dark. But it feels like it belongs to someone with much darker skin. I mean, obviously, if you listen to one of the episodes, the lady, the labia lady did say the doctor said I had like hyperpigmentation. But it's like it's like another person's body.

Interesting. Yeah. I mean, my bum hole is like quite hairy as well. Like, oh, I get that shit waxed. Oh, I get it waxed too. But I mean, I'm not keeping up my waxing. I'm not having as regular sex as you. So right now it's quite, you know, foresty down there.

But when you check out your bum hole, do you have to part your bum cheeks? Like, you know, when you go for a wax and you you have to part your bum cheeks? Like, you know when you go for a wax and you have to like part your bum cheeks for them to really... Well, absolutely. I mean, I've got a mirror on my wardrobe. So it goes all the way from this, not the ceiling,

but like from the ground up. So I just sort of sit down, legs akimba, and then just have a look at my... What, you're like in a squat position? No, no, no, no, not in a squat position. I'm butt naked on the floor. All fours?

Imagine when you're changing your little bubs' nappy, you kind of lift his legs up a bit. Oh, right, did you do that to yourself? I'm like this. I'm like this. You're like about to change your own nappy and then you're like bumhole. Bumhole.

Wow. Yeah, yeah, it was... It's very dark and I feel like you can't... Like, it's quite tight. It's like a kind of... It's got kind of like dimples around it, but it's also... Do you know what I mean? Like was it's very dark and I feel like you can't like it's quite tight it's like a kind of it's got kind of like dimples around it but it's also

do you know what I mean like it's quite tight and there's like lines coming out of it you've got dimples wrinkles you know when you look at a cat's bum hole

right you know the cat's walking down the street and then it's like lifts it up right because a dog's arsehole is kind of perfectly round

yeah but I think I think I've got a cat's arsehole oh my arsehole looks like the arsehole of a 95-year-old woman. Fucking creased as fuck down there. Honestly.

Why is it so wrinkly? I don't know. I think it's because it has the capacity to stretch, right? It has the capacity to stretch. It must be like the peristalsis of the shit coming out. Like the skin can't be taut, right?

It's got to be like wrinkly and flaccid-y. So it was kind of already made for things going up and out. Absolutely. I think so. Yeah, other than poo. Do you know, we always play this little game. How many was kind of already made for things going up and out. Absolutely. I think so. Yeah, other than poo. Do you know,

we always play this little game. How many words can you think of for bum? Let's do it with Asian words first. Footki is brown. That sounds like shutki. I know! Shutki and footki.

Imagine eating shutki and you pull out your footki. Oh my God. That's nuts. You could say that. What's poo? Goo. Oh yeah, goo, right.

I feel like Bengalis have really nailed the kind of anal vernacular. What's the... Well, I'm confused now because I thought it was deco, but I realised like deco also means look, but they can't have the same word for look and bum because that would be really confusing. Yeah, that's really... Because there's a lot of people being like, look over there,

and all I'm hearing is like bum, bum. Look at me, bum at me. No, I think maybe I've just got that wrong. I think you've got it wrong. Yeah. There's arse. Arse, an ass. Ass.

What do you prefer, are you an arse or an ass? I've got to say arse because I'm British in it. I feel like you say arsehole sometimes, you do. Arsehole, yeah, I always say arse. Do you think it's terrible that we use arsehole as a derogatory word when really arsehole, quite nice. Lovely, but you you're an anal virgin so clearly not that nice for you well i'm interested in it but i just i haven't done it no i just haven't done it you're curious yeah i'm anally curious you're anally curious yeah i get it um i uh you're really into bums

though nope you're into bum play Nope On you No no no Let me rephrase With So let me Okay let me start Let me rephrase I'm only into bum play Because other people

Are into bum play But I'm doing it with consent I don't love it You didn't bring it up I don't love it I don't ever bring it up I'm like It's not

I'm not like Get down my arsehole Interesting I'm like Well I need to Have you ever had This did happen to. Interesting. I'm like, well, I need to be a bit more adventurous. Have you ever had, this did happen to me once, where I was having sex with somebody,

and then we were changing positions. So I thought. Yeah. But they'd whipped it out to try and put it in the other hole. Oh, it happens all the time. With no discussion. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, no, no, no, I don't do that.

Which is why that scene in Fleabag, where she takes it out the butt. You know, apparently she said she had so many people complaining, saying anal sex is, it's so funny. She's's like the anal society complained and said apparently it's not that easy to just go oh my god it wouldn't work for me no i don't know who it does work my little cat's bumhole would need a lot of stretching out to get to that point so can i just give you my anal history right so did a fair amount of anal with the ex-husband, right? Then with my ex-partner of 10 years, literally did it once or twice.

Yeah. That was it. Once, I think. I'm seeing a guy right now, and my God, the anal play. He's got me three different size butt plugs. Wow. In fact, today, I need to read you this text.

It's actually hilarious. So he took a shit in my toilet. Was that his first shit in your toilet? No, this is many, many... Really? You guys are like, oh, that's another episode. So I basically sent him a text... Poppy's denial.

Next week, tune in for Poppy's denial. So listen, so I sent him a voice note saying this. Babs, when you use my loo, would you mind terribly cleaning after yourself? I just had to wash your poo stains. Thanks. And so I sent him that. You did not send him that voice note.

I put it in there. And then he had a wicked comeback. That is so good. He had a wicked comeback. Shall I read you his comeback? Yeah. Would you mind wiping your ass properly before you see me as well?

So one time, I was so drunk and I obviously did a drunk poo and then was so drunk I didn't wipe my ass properly. So when he went down to eat me out, I could hear him go, whoop,

and put me back down. It was just, yeah. So that's not disgusting. The disgusting thing that happened the other day where I ate, I basically had the shits.

Right. And I told him, don't go, don't, don't go up there. Don't do anything because I've had the shits. It's a sensitive area tonight. Yeah. It's also disgusting. You might catch something. He didn't give a shit.

Yeah. Just. Filth bag. He's so filthy. It's insane. Do you think that like, I don't know if there's a g-spot down there but do you think you can come orgasm from anal sex oh you you can i've spoken to women who've done it oh really i just don't i i literally feel like i need to take a shit all the time oh my god so i'm

is it the opposite feeling of taking a shit because literally the opposite things no it is literally like taking a shit oh really oh my god Have you ever had anal sex and during anal sex you felt like you needed to go for a shit? No. No, my biggest concern is always, is there shit coming out? But clearly there was shit around me. I turned white myself probably. Awkward. It was really embarrassing.

That happens. It happens, right? It's real life, yeah. But once he put a finger up so high up that I did see it a bit come out. Oh my God. Did I ever tell you the story about my friend who's a doctor? And this woman was complaining that she was really sick and she didn't know what was happening. And she was having like tummy problems down there.

And she was like, oh, yeah, okay, let me examine you. My doctor friend put a finger up this old lady's bum hole. And when she pulled it out, there was like a raisin on the end of her finger. And the woman was like, my friend was like, yeah, well, I think something's going down here. It's like digestion problems. It's like a raisin. And then the older one was like, oh, yeah, I did eat an Eccles cake.

That must be what it was because she was having these little raisins coming out of her. And they just weren't digesting it. Yeah. Sweet corn also must come out of your ass. Sweet corn must come out of your asshole. Sex and sweet corn. Who knew we'd get here, Poppy? Brown girls do it too. They must come out of your ass. Sweet corn must come out of your asshole. Sex and sweet corn. Who knew we'd get here, Poppy? Joining us for the ins and outs of anal,

we have a very special guest. She's an award-winning comedian who wrote for the Netflix show Sex Unzipped. It's Erica Ela. Woo! Hello. I mean, yeah, you've won awards. I have, yes.

And you were at the Fringe. I was at the Fringe. And you talk about eating ass, as you would say, being Canadian. You would say eating ass, would you? It always sounds a little bit different. Eating ass. Eating ass, yeah. And your penchant for weak white men.

Can you elaborate on both of those, please? Yeah, I have a bit about eating ass. I just got my ass eaten in Newcastle by this dude. So you like eating ass, and you like doing it to other people? No, I've never returned the favour. Wow. Yeah, selfish.

See, you were selfish like me, and now I eat ass. Do you eat you eat well the one this one man's ass yeah and i'm like babe you need to get a fucking wax really down there because it's hairy they eat your ass well i didn't even request it he just went he was like okay but you wouldn't do it back he didn't ask and if he did i'd probably be like if you shower i i would consider yeah yeah yeah i've now reached a. I've now reached a stage where even if he doesn't shower. Wow. To be honest, though, his ass tastes better than some of the things I've eaten normally.

Of his dick, yeah. Sometimes, does dick taste better than ass? Dick doesn't taste better than ass when it's covered in your pussy juice, as I found out this morning. Right, really? Yeah, I was just like, God, what's going on down there with me? You know when you get like a real twang? You're like, hmm. Oh, of like your own taste.

Of my own taste. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, but we're talking about the wrong hole. Yes. Focus on the wrong hole. Sorry, let's go back to the back side. Like, bums are really interesting as a comedian because I've been told eating ass

is like this comedy trope that people use quite a lot. Yeah, people say quite a lot. Yeah. People say it's hack. Um, like it's, uh, I think it's like people do talk about it a lot. I think it's,

it's going away a little bit, but like there is like a, if you had like a bingo sheet at like an open mic, eating ass would be on it. Cause it's just so funny. So many funny things happen out of it. You fart, you poo.

Yeah. Toilet humor. Yeah. I have the whole humor of a five year old child. So many funny things happen out of it. You fart, you poo. Toilet humour. I have the whole humour of a five-year-old child, so farting and all that stuff, it's hilarious to me. Imagine someone eating your arse and then you fart in their face. I think that's, I would draw the line of that. I mean, there's been plenty of moments where we've had sex and I'm like, I could fucking deal with a fart right now.

Or after anal, you're like, you know you've got the fanny farts, then you've just got fart farts because they push the air in you know do you know how your butt cheeks really like tense up when you've got a fart that you need to like not express yeah do you ever use that tension in sex like to kind of i think when you're doing anal not that i'm by the way i need to put out a disclaimer i'm not like some sort of anal expert you do sound like an anal queen on this no but i'm like you know i need i need there's a real authority when you speak about it yeah well i mean the amount of times i've done it i'm like i need i know what i need i need lube i need lots of eating ass i need rimming i need dirty talk i need a combination of a lot of things i need them to come early there's nothing i think i said this to you i

did anal once and i started bleeding and i was like out out out out out actually now we're talking about this more i realize i'm not an anal virgin i've actually had somebody put a finger up there i quite enjoyed it yeah fingers count right yeah anything up there counts yeah the raisin story counts oh my god no you can't go to the doctor and be like i'm not an anal virgin because i've had an examination it's gonna be well you had something out there or They put a camera out there. What if it was a kink and you just wanted doctors to put your... We digress. You keep going to the TV, you're like, something's still wrong out there.

I didn't know she was having it again. The anal whisperer. I like it when chippies go up there all the time. Anyway, so bums, I mean, do you open up with bum jokes? Are you into bums? Obviously you're into bums, I mean, do you open up with bum jokes? Are you into bums? Obviously you're into bums. Yeah, I have like, I do have like a, I have a few bits about it, but like I, I personally am not like, I'm not that much of an expert as well.

Oh really? Yeah. What would you say you are an expert in when it comes to sex? Or comedy? It's just specialism. If we're going to sell you. If you're going to sell sell me yeah bad bad sex stories within comedy that's kind of what i'll talk about i got like a audience review like at

the fringe you can if you buy a ticket you can just leave a review and some some woman was like she just talked about sex the entire time i'm like yeah i also marketed it that way so that you would know so you're an idiot for coming tell us about this Geordie who's eating your ass out yeah I was doing tour support for a friend of mine and we got so hammered after the show um it was a really fun show and we went to like some like club that was like basically just full of freshers um and then i sprained my knee down some stairs and uh he decided to come and be like a lot like i know this guy previously but um he started like pulling my leg back being like i'll stretch it out and then uh yeah and then my two friends who were just like just watching being like what's going on here and then

yeah he kept trying to get me to go back to his and I was like well I have a hotel for the night let's just go there I found out in the morning that like he lives with his grandma so if we had gone back there it would have been real bad I feel like with Arseplay as, you need to have an empty flat.

Your flatmates are away, like space to make noise. It can be surprising. It can be surprising, but also like if it's painful or you're just like, I need to get into this or I need to make grunting, anything to get you kind of psychologically in there. So was that your first time being eaten out? Yes. Did you like it? Did you enjoy enjoy it i didn't hate it okay yeah i was i don't think it'd be ever something that i personally request from yeah from anybody but like if if if it was something

they wanted i'm like have a shower first do you think there has to be discussion before you go to the ass because there's never discussion when they're going down for the poon. Yeah. They just go for it, don't they? I think arse is a different kind of category. So often I get fingers up. Why? Because it's dirtier.

Like vaginas are meant to be, right? Self-cleaning. And you are meant to have a whole dick going up there and a baby coming out and all this procreation biblical shit. But like an arse is meant for shitting. And so when you put your arse, when you put a thing up there, a penis up there, it's like, often I have, sometimes I've had guys who are like,

I've never said yes, because arse play for me is sacrosanct. But they often have said to me, it's nothing else is getting me off. And the idea of going up your arsehole is dirtier and filthier. And that will get me to a higher plane of um coming interesting yeah it's because i think they then they've said themselves they watch too much porn so they just need the next big

bigger hit you know is that because the hole's tighter is the whole time yeah i'm like what does it feel like when you're up there he's like the hole is tighter apparently but i'm like when it's there is it like echoes like hello hello is it walls around it like what's going on I'm in you arsehole you want some things touching each other you know I think it's like a tight smooth tunnel

this is by the way you've probably just joined this podcast thinking this is not a sex education podcast we don't know what we're talking about we're just making predictions about each other's bumholes that's what this is about. Yours has got an echo chamber in it. I mean, yeah. And also, anal for me is like a special event.

It's like once every month. You know, once every other month. It's a real thing. You wouldn't do it on a one night stand? You're not fucking going up there willy nilly. Absolutely not. Also, I don't love it. What just about?

I consent to it obviously but I don't it's not I literally feel like I need to take a shit all the time. It's not a very It's a gift you give to somebody.

Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely. Like the person doing it you're fucking lucky if you're listening. He is listening. What about like

general bum play? Like what about like when someone grabs your ass does that turn you on yeah I love a bit of that I love a bit of like spanking

yeah like a good old spank yeah like I'm insecure about my butt like I think it's so flat so when it gets sexualised I get really happy about it oh nice I'm like oh

good it's nice I have the opposite effect my bum is so big and round, I just want to hide it all the time. Really? You've got a delicious bum.

I think you walk away from it. Yeah, but it gets so much... No, let me rephrase that. It doesn't get so much attention, but I wear baggy clothes that it doesn't get enough attention. But if I just wore something normal like what you were wearing

and this top, it would just get too much unwanted attention and i'm just not comfortable with it and also we're asian we have to hide our sexuality and our sexiness right so that's so i've got hang-ups of that to be honest i'm like really into my bum even though it's not like something i would put on show but it's like this one thing that me and my partner have where it's like he loves to squeeze my ass to spank it to touch it just everything and it's like a really weird way that he just shows me affection and i'm like oh yeah he like likes me or he wants me and instead

of like he does this thing where we hug right i haven't seen him i've been almost together with him for like seven years we have the baby that kid i know we hug and instead of him like hugging me around the waist like a like a i'm in love with you hug he gives me like a hug and a bum squeeze and sometimes just like hands on the bum all the time and I'm like, ooh. I find that quite sexy. I find it really sexy. That's fun.

Yeah, it's really sexy. I feel like that makes me feel like my relationship's still like really hot. Yeah, no, it is. If he's going for the bum squeeze. Always for the bum squeeze. When he's giving you a high five,

you know it's over. When he gives me like a normal hug, I'll be like, what's going on? Pat on the arse, Elba. Oh, yeah. Good for you. But we are obsessed with arses. mean i know the kardashians kind of started it but when you look at typically like did they i for me no they didn't they didn't

at all like you're saying that yeah yeah right so like they're known to have curvaceous figures i feel like i find it i found it really sexy when i was at school and they were like black girls in my yellow like massive moms i'd be like god i wish my ass like that it's so beautiful and again hearing you talk about having unwanted attention makes me rethink the way I was thinking how they were experiencing it. Yeah. But also, really interesting

when you see a man with a big bum. Love that. Hate that. Sorry. That was me. What's that there? Somebody else hates it too. Who's that?

Oh, it's my ex-partner just texting. Let's just close that. Yeah, I don't like it at all. This is really bad. Inverse body dysmorphia, bum shaming. You wouldn't go with a man who... Absolutely no way. I find that repulsive.

Really? Do you just want a flat back? It's a very good question. A back that extends down to the legs. No, I want a perp bum. My ex-partner, the one who just texted, he was a skateboarder. He had a fucking great peachy bum. But it was so beautifully proportioned.

When I see a bum that comes out and then comes in on a man, I find it really unnerving. I'm like, I don't like it. I don't grab my partner's bum enough. And maybe after that, that's what I'll do. I feel like we're not as good as women. We're not as good in heterosexual relationships from this very niche experience that we're talking about.

Like grabbing men's arse and being like, you know when you're shagging a guy and it's going really well? I definitely try to pull the arse in. And then try to slip a finger in sometimes too. But I think going back to the whole finger play, if some guy was around your arse and was thinking about putting a finger in or indeed his penis what would you say oh he'd have to ask yeah yeah he'd have to ask yeah i've had like god like i've had like x x's kind of like try to like maneuver yeah you know do that whole trick and it's like i'll be like oh what are you

doing then they'd be like sorry and i'm like you're not sorry yeah also how stupid do they think we are sometimes i think they think they that we would just feel like it's the same yeah it's the same you got two holes nearby that's the same thing it's like it's not the same i think they just try it because they're men and they feel that they can yeah but also when you double dip as well the amount of cystitis i've got in the last six months as you know it's well documented on instagram yeah like you can't double dip anymore it is actual like you're having quite a lot of dirty sex at the moment yeah and actually dirty sex is like incredibly hot as well because it's like you know this whole thing when you have sex which is like you don't give a shit you talk

about this you're just like i don't care i don't care who's gonna see me i'm just like totally like letting go like do you feel like you're having any sex like that at the moment that's just like I don't give a shit or are you like preoccupied in your head yeah I mean uh it's a bit of both last night I tried to like I messed around with somebody who I tried to like I did because I wanted to get over somebody and it had the opposite effect it made me double down that I like the guy on the other guy sometimes those pity fucks I'm telling you

that guy's probably like aye she's going out having sex with someone else but I'm like no sometimes they make us appreciate you more yeah yeah so let us go forth and fuck

yeah so we can miss you true fuck's sake yeah sorry someone's desperate to be in a relationship

I'm gonna go fuck someone else so I will come back and like you, Jesus. We had that conversation yesterday. But yeah, we are, as a society, I think we're obsessed with bums. Like the Kardashians are one. That's true. Do you guys remember when Pippa Middleton,

everyone was obsessed with Pippa? Oh my God. I thought that was fucking laughable. Her ass was like a fucking pancake. Oh, people were saying it's big? It was huge. It was like, you just saw those voluptuous... She was wearing a dress pancake. Oh, people were saying it's big? It was huge. It was like beautiful. No, it was just like sexy.

She was wearing a dress that kind of accentuated it. But I'm not even sure it accentuated it. Nothing about, I'm telling you now. Do you guys remember? I mean, I know they got married like a billion years ago. But do you remember? It was on the front page of every fucking newspaper the next day. And it was her derriere.

And I'm like, you know you live in a white country when they're saying Pippa Middleton's ass. Yeah, true. Well, unfair. There's 8-5% of people in this country are white. And that's probably what they like. But I'm like, that's not an ass, mate. That's not an ass. You're right. The world is obsessed with bums.

It's now I'm thinking about it more. You're right. The whole Kardashian thing is based on bum. Yeah. Boobs are around for ages. Boobs are like beginning of time. Do you know what I mean? Medieval man was fucking obsessed with boobies.

They've all started dissolving their BBLs, I think. Have they? That's what a lot of people... Oh yeah, BBLs. Yeah, very dangerous. I mean, clearly there's a need for it. BBLs, that's Brazilian butt lift, right? Yeah.

And people are doing that. I mean, my butt could use a little lift every now and then. Don't start thinking down that route. Really? Do you think it's dangerous? It is really dangerous. It's very dangerous. It's really like people have died.

You have to go to frickin' Turkey or some shit. Yeah, and then when you fly back, your ass has to be in, like, your head has to go down in the seat. Your butt can't, you can't sit down properly. You have to remain upside down for a while. Yes, yes, yes. So if you ever see someone on the plane

and you're like, what's going on with them? They got a BBL. And I hate that I'm giving Kardashians this much airtime, but do you remember that sort of quote-unquote iconic magazine cover

of Kim Kardashian with her butt out and the champagne? Champagne, yeah. There was another cover that came out the other day, like just yesterday, I think, where she's like

kind of blonded up her eyebrows and is blonde and is just like pulling down her trousers and you can just see full bum. Brown girls do it too. We're back for a new series. Press is a podcast where you get to air what has you guys pressed and what gets us pressed. More dilemmas.

Who does that? More voice notes. So why are you asking me out for if you don't know what to do? And more relationship tremors. Wait, so you told you two before you told your mother? Yeah, babe.

You are mad. Mad, babe. Boom. One extra present, pressed. Listen on BBC Sounds. Brown girls do it too. When you were a kid,

did you ever used to, did you ever moony anyone? No, but I did get mooned once. Did you? Yeah, I was in Romford. Everything bad happens in Romford. I was in Romford on a first floor balcony putting out, I was in my auntie's house, putting out some clothes on the line on the clothing line and I

looked up, there was some banging and I looked up and it was like ten boys with their... On a bus. On a looked up and it was like 10 boys with their... On a bus. On a bus, on the top deck of a bus with their pasty arses flat against the... Is that a compliment? No, it's 100% a thing that kids do on the bus because I have moonied before. Oh, you've done it before?

When I was on a school bus. Oh my God, why didn't you tell me this before? In my school uniform with a school friend, we like moonied somebody. I can't even remember. How am i finding this out about you today you've got like a phd in arsehole play i'm very interested in bums but i just never had a penis in there why did you do that why did you moon because i was like i was really young i was like 12 is that a compliment would you moony someone no i'd be mortified for

i think if i was a kid to show my butt to anybody yeah but bums are funny they felt like a comedy thing that I wasn't going to be scared of bums are a thing now because I do think

going back to the Kardashian's they have made it accessible right because they're like I know they're Armenian but they are sort of Caucasian

white passing does a bum turn you on though because it looks like boobs my bum turns me on and other women's your own bum turns you on if because it looks like boobs my bum turns me on and other women's your own if i want to get into it if i want to have a bit of a wanking session i'm naked and i look at myself i'm like you know that song tweet oh my there goes my hair that song is my jam oh my really so if i see oh i like my neck my back lick my pussy and my crack and that was an iconic song. Yeah.

But do you find when you're wanking, like when you're having, when you're, yeah, when you're masturbating, like do you sort of, does your body, your body parts like turn you on? For me, my bum actually turns me on.

Sometimes, sometimes I'll like touch like, yeah, like my breasts or something. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Not ass, yeah. Not ass, no. If I've got like a sexy outfit on. Well, I have to masturbate and touch your ass, isn't it?

Yeah. No, but it's just like, it's getting me, it's a pre-play, bab. If I've got like a sexy outfit on... It's hard to masturbate and touch your arse, isn't it? No, but it's just like, it's getting me in the... It's a pre-play, babes. It's like getting me in the mood for it. Right. It's the fine line between I could watch Netflix and eat some pasta or I could wank. Oh, let me just have a look at my arse. Oh, that's turned me on.

I do sometimes sit on my hands. That's not the same thing, is it? What, doing the stranger? What's the stranger? It's where you make your hands numb and then... And then it feels like it's someone else's hands. Oh my God, that's so lame and hilarious. No, I don't do that.

I really don't do that. I've never done that before. But I also just kind of love that somebody does that. Do you think guys do that sometimes? Oh, yeah. I'm sure they got, you know... They don't lend to that. But women should try it.

Maybe I'll try it. You sit on your hand, right? You make it so dead that it's so numb and then you try to masturbate with it but then I'd be like oh my hand's really numb

and it feels like somebody else's hand I see what you're saying I can't feel it I can't feel it or you'd just be using the other hand to help this hand

wouldn't you yes potentially but I mean like you do hear like you're either a bum man a leg man a beard man

so if you are you straight or bi-curious I'm just like bi-cur like you're either a bum man a leg man a beard man so if you are you straight or bi-curious or bi-curious so I am definitely when it comes to women I'm a face girl

so neither of those things are mentioned but yeah legs bums boobs what does it for you I like boobs

yeah I'm a simple i'm a simple person quite basic yeah yeah i like a face and a boob they're 50 50 for me although like you know i don't know i guess like uh i'll always if i see someone man or woman if i see them and they have like a very round but i I will perv on them. Oh, we were talking about this, weren't we? I think we, like, when you see a woman, an attractive woman with her, you know, revealing some breasticles or just a nice woman with a nice figure, you do look.

Yeah, of course you do. Yeah. I look. We're only humans. I know. Like, we're interested in each other's bodies. Do you know what I look at and and I can't stop looking at, is Builder's bum, like when you see the butt crack?

Yeah. But not in a sexual way. But it's so funny, because if you see a sexy woman with a sexy bum, but she bends over and she's got Builder's bum, it's over for me. Yeah. It's like erection gone. Yeah. It's like you couldn't even afford a belt. So this guy basically on field said, I'm into pegging,

and then I unmatched him. Why? I just think it's quite hot like it's it's i've just said hello to you oh fine right right it was too early it was just too early i really i think you'd really enjoy that app kind of for that oh yeah yeah absolutely it totally is it totally is and and oh god i let me give you some context i was in a 10-year relationship had never dated online then went on to field and that was just like I'm now seasoned pro

as I'm sure you can tell but initially I'm like oh okay that was your first that was my first that is a lot it's a lot and I actually so want to do it

with someone but I was just like and I judged the person because I was like if you're into that and you don't even know me what kind of other thing but then I have utmost field

sorry utmost respect for field so I think it's actual grown ups on there and you don't even know me, what kind of anything? But then I have utmost field, sorry, utmost respect for field. So I think it's actual grown-ups on there. And I've covered it on other episodes of the podcast. With the pegging, is it like you put this thing on you and you're like embodying some sort of masculine energy? Or is it that it's just people like up a bum and I don't have a penis and my fingers aren't doing it for you? I think it's a combination of both. But I just want to double check.

Pegging is, yeah, it's definitely when it's a sexual practice in which someone, usually with a vagina, performs anal sex on someone else by penetrating their anus. So you could do it to a woman. Oh, fine, yeah. You could do it to a woman or a man, but it's anus. It's anus. Anus with a strap on dildo, specifically. Yes, specifically.

Why is it called pegging? Whose clothes peg are we using here? I don't know, but I could Google it for for you now imagine if you pegged someone called peggy um i don't know why it's called uh the neo neologism pegging was popularized when it became the winning entry in a contest in dan savage's savage love sex advice column held after i literally don't know. No, we shouldn't be doing this on the research. Why not?

That's basically how brown girls do it too. No, I'm joking. That's doing a disservice to our amazing production team. I would peg for the power. Would you peg? I think if I was in a relationship with them I would. In a relationship, sorry. Yeah, and you're a comedian,

so someone could like rinse you, you know, like they could take that video of you pegging them and be like, you know, I got that now. There's so much to cover in the anal spectrum. Let's talk about scatting. No, not for me. Absolutely not, not interested. Also, scatting also makes me think of people

when people go... That's exactly what I think. Yeah. But when I did a documentary about these cam girls who have clients, obviously across TV screen and screens in general, who are into scatting and I'm like, do you actually eat shit? And they're like, no. They eat their shit.

No, well, probably that. No, they have like fake things that look like shit but taste like chocolate. Yeah. Well, two girls, one cup. That was like it. You guys know. their shit no well probably that no they have like fake things that look like shit but taste like chocolate yeah well two girls one cup that was like you guys know I love two girls one cup I've never seen

two girls one cup oh my god it's so good so it's two girls right they have one cup I've never seen this and they like they like piss in each other's mouths

they're first like kissing and then they're like pissing in each other's mouths and then they start to like shit in each other's mouths and then didn't one of them throw up at the end I think so

but like it ended up being like the big thing that I think did they actually shit in each other's mouths and then didn't one of them throw up at the end i think so but like it ended up being like the big thing that i think only did they actually shit in each no it was ice cream okay yes it was ice cream so that's that's why it was ice cream it was like something i watched when i was like a teenager because it was like when the internet first came yeah it's like yeah it's iconic it's like do you think we should recreate two girls in a cup is like seminal it's iconic do you think we should recreate two girls one cup right absolutely not find a new host with ice cream

we could do it with ice cream no it's what it symbolises okay I'm not into scatting and I would love to I'd love to get someone

on the show who is because it's like what is the the thrill it's the dirty thing you're into dirty sex it's just imagine you but someone times like

a hundred who's really into the filthy. I also think people get off on being degraded. Yes, yes, yes. There's that element. There's absolutely that. I've never understood that. I'd love to meet somebody who really enjoys...

Well, we sort of covered that in BDSM, didn't we? Like being degraded. But my question, and this is a very smart, intelligent question. If you did eat shit or licked it, you would surely have cholera or dysentery or die. Like, surely it's not real shit. If someone's listening to this episode,

can you please email browngirlsdoittoo at bbc.co.uk Brown girls do it too. Brown girls do a poo. You can eat it. It's actually ice cream. I'm dying to know. Could it make you ill? Yeah, it can.

Imagine if you're an intelligent woman eating shit that will make you ill. A buddy of mine got liver failure. What? He ate it because he ate shit. Someone I know, his roommate, got hospitalized because he ate too much

ass. And it made his... He went into liver failure and then he had to stay overnight. He's with the alcoholics on the wall. They drank alcohol and he ate ass. I think they gave him his own room because I think he was just... Was he gay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. God.

I don't know. You can get that. You can eat so much ass to make you sick. I mean... Yes. Makes sense, doesn't it? It makes so much sense. I don't think it's... That's why we excrete it, because it's not meant to be in our bodies. We're not meant to lick it or eat it in any way, shape or form.

Like, you get fucking pink eye when you're just like... You know what I mean? I know. Imagine that's on your eye. That's like an external surface. Imagine if it's inside you. Liver Vale, is he alive? Yeah, he's good.

He's made it. I saw him the other week. He's thriving. He's back to eating it. Welcome to the Quickfire Fuck Quiz. We do this quiz with people, by the way, that you're now going to do. Welcome to the Quickfire Fuck fuck quiz butt stuff edition um top or bottom uh bottom you're getting it yeah you're getting it or you're getting the ass so yeah you're getting you're getting someone putting

their dick inside you yeah yes okay that's for clarification we've got that on the record dick inside you brilliant digging. Dig in me. Okay. Dig in me. Dig in, dig in me. Wash it or wing it? Oh, I know the answer to that. Yeah, wash it.

Wash it. You know when you douche, is it just to clear everything out? It's like a weird colonic irrigation to just clear the shit out. Douche? As in those little things that they have in toilets sometimes? No.

The douching is when you put water up your arsehole passage to clear out the shit, to clear it all out. Oh, like a colonic irrigation? Like a colonic irrigation. They call The douching is when you put water up your arsehole passage to clear out the shit, to clear it all out. Oh, like a colonic irrigation? Like a colonic irrigation. They call it douching? They call it douching, yeah. Oh, I didn't know that.

Porn stars do it before they're doing a big anal scene. Right. To prevent liver failure. Spit or lube? Spit, I guess. I don't... You've got a really slippery arse on me have you ever used lube

oh this is about this is no no no this is the quick fire fuck game I'm so sorry you're getting in a lot of saliva Erica we need to do this game again

because you didn't realise my answers previously still stand but yeah I mean lube I was so shocked

that you would choose saliva that's why I was like have you ever used lube and do you need to borrow some I've never used lube hey some people are into spit you've never used lube but I so shocked that you would choose saliva that's why I was like have you ever used lube and do you need to borrow some I've never used lube hey some people are into you've never used lube but I've never done anal

but have you just used lube like in general sex no oh my god get on it really it's a game changer it's a game changer I find it too slippery oh my god no

it's wonderful I mean it's great lube is just delicious I think I'm just a cheapskate I'm like no I don't need another expense. Mate, they're fucking five, six pounds. They are expensive.

But they last for a while. Have you got a bit of coconut oil lying around? Don't try it with ghee, though. Sorry, nothing about this game is quick. Butt plug or finger in the bum? Finger. Yeah. Which one?

Index, thumb, baby, four. Probably index. Index. Butt points are painful. Get the small one. Rimming or getting rimmed? Getting rimmed. Kardashian booty or tiny 90s tush?

I love that in the 90s there was small bums. This is really interesting. Kate Moss started it all that's right tiny tush heroin sheet or Kardashian booty Kardashian booty

I think yeah good on you great amazing thank you so much for coming on the show we hope it was

bootylicious for you yeah it was fun what will you now try and do after being on this episode re-bum play re-bum play re-bum play on the anal spectrum

where would you say you are now I am a bit more open I think yeah you know I think would you say that

this episode has been like a popper in your life opening up opening up my oh yeah muscle relax it's like a popper

have you tried a popper your face just goes I absolutely love it one time I was really into poppers when I was in university and I like used to do them really close to my nose

and I like singed off the end of my nose. Oh wow. It was really bad. I was sore for a few days. Anyway. Anyway, thank you so much for coming on Brown Girls Do It Too.

Yeah, thanks for having me. Well, we've rather appropriately reached rock bottom here. Yes. But if you've enjoyed joining us for an anal deep dive then do get in touch. Send us your stories,

your questions and your bell fees to browngirlsdoit2 at bbc.co.uk. And remember to subscribe to this podcast on BBC Sounds.

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