Brown Girls Do It Too - Are You A Parking Ticket?

Episode Date: August 2, 2024

Flirting: how does one get it right? And what happens when it goes wrong? Munveer Jabbal has learnt a thing or two about flirting this summer, mostly AFTER leaving the Love Island Villa. Is he any better at it than Poppy and Rubina though?Have a message for Poppy and Rubina or a new online trend that you want them to try? If you’re over 16, you can message the BGDIT team via WhatsApp for free on 07968100822. Or email us at [e-mail] you're in the UK, for more BBC podcasts listen on BBC Sounds: bbc.in/3UjecF5

BBC Sounds Music, Radio, Podcasts Can I pull you in for a chat? Of course babe, where's your head at? I've been thinking about cracking on with Ricky because he's a bit of me Who do you say is like your type on paper? My head's turning towards Jay because he's got the full package

do you know what I mean? Exactly what I'm looking for You know how I like them, with lots of strong language and good chat Yeah, and he has got content of an adult nature Warning, just like this podcast He has been laying it on you, you know, thick. Hope he doesn't mug me off in the recoupling. You're going to get binned off, babe. I probably am, babes.

Oh. Just to be clear, that's content of an adult nature and strong language. This is a podcast about sex. At least it started off like that. Now we talk about everything. Everything is sex. And sex is everything. And that includes our mistakes, our heartbreaks.

And our hot, hot, hot, hot, hot takes. Pizza, hot, hot, hot. Brown girls do it too. Hi, I'm Poppy. I'm a Leo, an East Londoner, and my type is fit, tall and funny. Hi, I'm Robina. I'm a Virgo from N21 and my type is

poor, insecure and doesn't open the door There he goes So Poppy you've spoken a lot about how you need to get better at flirting so I think it's time for a lesson We've invited a Love Islander on to teach you what goes into good chat

flirting tips and we'll rate some pickup lines and see if they would get a date or not. It's basically game show time. Joining us today, fresh out the villa, it's Manvir Drabal from Love Island. Manvir Drabal. Welcome. Gone fingers. Good to be here.

How are you doing? It's been a whirlwind, to be honest with you. Yeah, it's been pulled left, right and centre. I'm having more fun now than I did in the villa. Wow. Yeah. What's it like in the villa? I get to do cool things like this. Good answer.

I was like, are you flirting with us? Yeah, definitely. That's my flirting technique right there. That was smooth. That was smooth. Lesson number one. Always act like you're happy to be there. So funny, we're talking about this.

So I was on a date last night, got home at 6.30 in the morning, had 46 minutes of sleep and my Fitbit is proof. And I was telling the guy, this is literally what we were talking about, how bad I was on a date last night got home at 6.30 in the morning had 46 minutes of sleep and my Fitbit is proof and I was telling the guy this is literally what we were talking about how bad I was at flirting in real life oh yeah

so Poppy is terrible what's your like tips what's your basic what do you do do you have a little brother imagine we are your little brother and we're going on our first day what are the kind of tips

you'd give us tips just try and be yourself be funny no no no that won't get us anywhere no we need like two little brothers you give that what are the kind of tips you'd give us? Tips? Just try and be yourself. Be funny. No, no, no. That won't get us anywhere. No, you need to lie.

You're two little brothers. I need to scream. You give that advice to us. We'd be dancing like turtles in a corner and scaring people. That's just not going to work. Dancing like turtles? Interpretive dancing. Yeah, I like it.

It's true. We would. I'd just say just get to know them. And then as a recruiter, what I'm good at is mirroring the person in front of me so get them telling you everything they like and then sell it back to them

that's my tip so you like going swimming I love swimming I love that restaurant that's my favourite but what if even if you don't like it

you just lie you lie oh my god that's the worst dating advice ever going lying you've just got to mirror the person in front of you

and people love talking about themselves wait wait what if they're like I really like killing people on the side of the house. That's a Sunday for me. That's so good. Oh my God, two serial killers in a relationship. That's so adorable.

Yeah, what could go wrong? You're a good looking guy. And I'm sure lots of people have told you that. And you must know that about yourself to start with. No, I keep my feet firmly on the ground. I don't, you you know that's all subjective isn't it so yeah

I appreciate you saying that though if you say single no you're not clearly not you're the one in the oven but you know can still have sex

so what's your like game plan then like what's your 101 so you're in the club you're like are you eye fucking you see a girl you like

what's your what's the 10 steps to chat to her so you know what the club you're like are you eye fucking you see a girl you like what's your what's the ten steps to chat to her do you know what there's no secret like recipe or ingredient to it it's just going up to them

being yourself so would you just go up to a girl like a drink yeah honestly I was like yeah there's nothing to it

obviously if they like you you gauge it from the first couple of seconds whether they're into you or not yeah if they give you the eyes exactly do you think we should role play right now? So we're two hot girls in the club.

You've obviously come over and you want to speak to Poppy, but I'm cock blocking you. Sorry, girl. We could be trying on both of us. I'm creating this whole scenario. We could be trying on both of us. No, but you never go for the one you really like.

If they're in a group setting, you never go straight for the one you really like. You've got to play it cool. Have you seen the film A Beautiful Mind? Yes. Russell Crowe. Russell Crowe. You know that scene where he talks about that same thing. He's like, you never straight for the one you really like. You've got to play it cool. Have you seen the film A Beautiful Mind? Yes. Russell Crowe. You know that scene where he talks about that same thing? He's like, you never go for the hottest girl

because no one gets the hottest girl. And there's this whole maths where he's like, everyone will get laid if everyone goes for the other girl and not the hot girl. Is this like choosing the second cheapest wine off the wine list? So you tell us the game plan then. This is fascinating. There's a group of girls.

Good analogy. The group of girls girls the one you like is you go for the one that looks like they're gonna talk to you okay you know you've got to gauge that early who's the chatterbox yeah get talking to them okay and then you slowly worm your way into the other girls and then the one you want is the way to do it that's a it that's a long game plan though that's yeah well what's your success rate doing that for me i don't but that's always right basically what i'm saying yeah it does work it works my technique and tactics might work might not work for someone else but what if girl one is into you and she's like you've misled her oh do you know what i mean this is what i because if you At least I made a friend.

Okay, so you friend zoned her. You friend zoned her. To be honest, I was always the guy's friend and actually in the end they're going to fall in love with you and then you'll have gone so far past the crush bit that you'll be like, I'm done with you, man. But you never know, it could blossom into something else. If the conversation is going really well, then it might turn into something else.

But yeah, it's a tactic. Are you interested in girls that are more extroverted or introverted what do you have a type extroverted for sure yeah i like someone that's gonna poke a bit of fun at me outgoing um good banter someone that's not quiet and reserved um so i need that i need that energy where do you think your inspiration for who you fancy comes from you know we all say like we've got a type but we never really think about like why we have that type. Is that because that's something different in you?

Do you know what? Obviously growing up, my sister, she's obviously tan skin, dark hair. I feel like I've always wanted something else. Do you know what I mean? So I've always been drawn to blonde hair, blue eyes. That's a good one. Exactly. That's the reason I really like it.

It's basically because I don't want to fancy anyone who looks like my sister. Yeah, I'm into that. Yeah, exactly that well blondes my tale of the tape has always been blonde blue eyes

but it's probably where I'm going wrong to be honest with you so do you like ever get girls being like you must hate yourself because you only like

white girls or blonde girls nah obviously in the DMs right now but to be honest with you the more I think about it I don't think I have a type

it's more about that energy do you know more I think about it I don't think I have a type it's more about energy do you know I say that but obviously the track record is now that you're

famous how are you going to navigate flirting because they're all going to come to you

just stand there look pretty and just let them come to the clout so you don't have to do the tactic anymore it sounds so shallow

but because I've been on Love Island now and people know who I am it's a lot easier is it a lot easier do women just come to you now

well yeah I mean I haven't been out too much to be honest with you so I'm going out later this evening so I'll let you know

how it goes when someone does come up to you what lines are you like what lines have caught your attention if a girl comes up

to you anything anyone said where you've been like that's quite good if she's talking about Love Island would you be interested you've been like that's quite good if she's talking about Love Island would you be interested I've been answering

the same question time and time again so I'm waiting for someone to ask me something different yeah how was Love Island oh my god how did you feel about it

yeah it was much better about did you get that jumper for free that's quite that's a good one I like that that's a really good style of film

I like that that's good then also when you get famous it could go the other way because you could have lots of attention and then too much attention

and then you're just like yeah absolutely you can't go around picking your nose anymore right so you've got to be very careful but also does it make you lazy

no I wouldn't say I'm a lazy person at all I've been working in recruitment nine years so I've got that fire in my belly I've always been driven

and that's stemmed from my parents so now I'm just applying it to this new world which is influencing I hate saying that but um yeah that never stops I like what you were saying about like using recruitment as like the way that you speak to someone the stuff that you've learned from there and how you can use that in romance is there anything that you like tactically you're like the mirroring thing love that have you got any other tips that you're like you should try this or or have you ever done something that's failed and you're like, don't do this? Yeah. What are your don't do's?

Don't do's? Yeah. Don't talk about your pipeline. What, like your financial pipeline? No, the girls in your pipeline. Don't talk about your exes. Don't talk about how much attention you get in. Yeah.

Those are definitely red flags. I don't mind exes chat. don't talk about how much attention you're getting those are definitely red flags I don't mind exes chat but your value goes up weirdly I want a bit of that why is everyone so interested yeah

so yeah what about talking about sex early on is that something that you would do or not do sex is a very important

part of any relationship so you need to be open about it absolutely you need good sex in a relationship you know once that goes

your relationship dies. So whether that conversation's from the get-go, it depends how well the conversation is going. But 100% open to it on the first date. Would you tell somebody what you're scared of very early on in flirting? Like things that frighten you. On date one?

Well, I don't know. If you're trying to show like an air of vulnerability and you're like, you know what? Clowns got a problem with them. I think it's a bit early on to start talking about them type of things. I think eventually you open up and you talk about, you know, whether you fear of clowns or whether it may be Tottenham Hotspur. You have a fear of Tottenham Hotspur?

Absolutely. Actually, to be fair, I don't. I don't think anyone's scared of Tottenham Hotspur but yeah you have a fear of Tottenham Hotspur absolutely actually to be fair I don't I don't think anyone's scared of Tottenham to be honest but yeah I think in time

that has sort of come out the initial conversation should be flirtatious it should be fun banter so I absolutely have mastered banter

that's not a problem for me I can tell but what I haven't mastered is the the body language and the touch and the like and attack like and i am genuinely quite a tactile person but i think on dating apps i'm fire but in real life and i've said this to you like you have to really seduce someone it's like the voice and whispering in the ear and the elbow touching and i just turn elbow touch yeah like you know like like lingering touches whereas i just turn Elbow touching? Yeah, like, you know,

like lingering touches. Whereas I just turn into my dad, I just, hands behind my back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you do then? I really try to hold

that question back because I feel like that's the laziest question. You know, when you meet somebody new, the laziest question you can ask them is like, what do you do?

Exactly. So I like try to hold it back because I'm not trying to think of other things I can say. Yeah, don't talk about the weather, please. Yeah, the weather,

so boring. No, the banter, I mean, I don't say, I don't ask them what they do, but like the banter's fine. It's all that physical touch. How do you find your way? What do you do? When do you start? There's no script to this, by the way. It's really understanding the individual in front of you and then going with the flow, right? That's what, as recruiters, we're good at, mirroring. But in terms of tactile stuff, I'm quite a tactile person. I love physical touch. It's one of my love languages.

So, you know, I'll let you know early on, obviously in a respectful way, you know, that we all be tactile. I just watch other girls who are clearly getting... Fucking amazing at it. You know, there's some girls

who just like literally they like put their hand under their hand and they're like... Oh my God. And they've got like really like... And they're just always like they're bending over at the right moment oh my god

those girls they are insane I've seen the way they work yeah yeah yeah David Attenborough should be creating that shit yeah you know what I mean

and I just watch them and I'm like how's she doing that how's she doing that I've still got my hands but it's so funny when you actually go and speak to those girls

nothing going on between their eyes well I mean not all of them the balance between the ears and you know being flirtatious

you can't just be pretty on the eye. Yeah, because some beautiful people are quite stupid. Yeah. They are. Sure. You don't want to agree with me there. So you girls like the full package, aren't you? Well, my dear.

There you go, one on one. Flirting tip. I would say the hottest guys that I've dated haven't had the greatest chat. But I don't know if that's a universal truth. I do think with really, really hot people, they don't have to try. They're the purple squirrels, aren't they? The what? The purple squirrels.

What's a purple squirrel? Have you ever seen a purple squirrel? No. Exactly. Oh, nice. I thought it was a video game reference. I'm not that young. I don't want to make that some sort of universal truth,

but I have the hottest guys physically to look at. Chat's been like six. Even have a stimulating conversation. Yeah, it's been six. That's important. What are your flirting ics? Do you know what? That's a hard one.

I feel like an ic is... I'm a gentleman. In my culture, it's always about providing. I'll pay for the date every time but every time are you not going to be

out of pocket why would you do that that's how I pick and choose my battles don't I but for me it's like you're not offering

is a nick if they don't reach for that one yeah you don't have to but it's just like I'll get this one if you're just like yeah free ride

I'll take it for me that's a nick can a girl be too much when she's flirting oh when she starts grabbing your hands, yeah. Okay. Then you're just like,

I see that. Yeah, that's a bit much. Slow down. Or if they drink too much. Oh, yeah. Big drinkers, yeah. That's another red flag. Or chasing the night.

They're saying, you know, we've had a nice evening. Oh, let's go on to the next place, the next place, the next place. I see. That's just telling me that you love a night out. What's wrong with that?

You don't like a girl who likes a night out. Nah, 6.30am in the morning. Have a word. Have a word with yourself. I had a great fucking time, actually. Was it your first date? Maybe not me trying to get into the cab.

Was it your first date? No, no, no. It was a third date. A third date. Oh, fair play. Yeah, yeah, fair play. So it's getting later and later. It's getting later.

No, but all my dates turn into sessions. That's like most of them. See, that's an opposite of an ick for me. What would be like a good date for you? Like what would you like to do on a date? Clearly ends at 10.30. Gym, swim. I'm in bed eating salmon and rice.

Good date is like drinks are flowing you know conversation's flowing conversation is flowing absolutely and you're just smitten for me if I'm nervous then that's a good sign oh yeah

if I'm overly confident I'm like you can't be fucked you've got to feel those like butterflies I've got to be like oh shit I'm punching it I never feel

I never have you ever felt I never feel butterflies on a date you've never felt butterflies on a date no I'm clearly obviously not

you're not dating the right people. Are you drinking a little bit too much? I'm drinking a little bit too much. I'm numb to the feeling. You're killing the butterflies. I mean, I've not met anyone that I'm that excited by. In a while. In a while, but that's fine.

I'm all right with that. I don't want to meet anyone that I'm excited by. As in, I want to have fun, but I'm sure I will. You want that thrill, that excitement. You can't wait to see someone. energy have you ever been in love of course yeah and but obviously that's different to what we're describing which is like this kind of initial chemistry yeah that's like the lust isn't it and then it grows into love with flirting you need to be open to somebody like even entering your space and giving you that because there's lots of people

who are like quite closed off to that vibe yeah and even they wouldn't allow that like they wouldn't allow themselves to like let go they're a bit like oh boundary boundary and you know that when you know when exactly someone's physical body language

unless they're like open and they want you to approach them I have tried some flirting before and failed how did you? how did that go? there was like a really hot swimmer that went to my university

when I was living in Singapore and I just was like I think he fancies me because we're having like lots of good banter yeah and I remember being like yeah we should go swimming

we should hang out we should do this stuff and he was just like not interested and I was like maybe he's not getting the vibe like maybe he's not

realising that I'm trying to take this friendship to the next level because that's essentially what flirting is isn't it you're basically being like I don't want to be your friend

yeah and I remember like, leaning, leaning up against the wall. Oh my God. Like a flat hand lean. And he was just like, what the fuck are you doing?

Are you actually? I wasn't leaning in for a kiss, but I was just like, you know, like, like leaning like that. Quite close, but not touching. You know what?

You're doing the equivalent of the dad hand. Have you seen the Only Fools and Horses scene with Frigga? And when he's at the bar and he falls through the dad hand have you seen the only fools and horses scene with Frigga and when he's at the bar and he falls through the bar have you not seen that

that's what it's reminding me of he was doing a lean are you good at flirting Rubina I don't know I actually don't know I'm on my second child

must be doing alright something works pre-partner when you were dating yeah I think so what was your what was your thing I probably was a little bit

like exactly what I just said actually it's like being so close that we're not touching but making it very clear that if you were to touch me it would be okay I'm going to let it happen

yeah so maybe I wasn't the one like doing the touching but I was doing the like getting really the signals yeah the signals I was sending the signals

I was sending the smoke come to me come to me giving that energy off doing your interpretive dance yeah like I feel like I was always clear about that you was sending the smoke, come to me, come to me. Giving that energy off. And doing your interpretive dance. Yeah. Like, I feel like I was more clear about that.

You have to read that energy, absolutely. Otherwise, it's a bit creepy. You sense it. You know, okay, well, they want me to get a bit closer. Yeah.

Let me try a bit closer. Let me try, exactly. You can't just lunge in. Yeah. That is a bit weird. And your first kiss with somebody doesn't work.

The lunge doesn't work. Have you had a lunge? Have you had a lunge? They just think you're an inch. Would you pull away if someone lunged? If they were hot, I wouldn't pull away. I would fancy that. Yeah. I have let somebody lunge who I didn't fancy

because I was like, I just want to see what this might be like. And then, you know, when you have a kiss and you're like, oh, that was a bit gross. It's exactly like, I should trust my instinct. I need to fancy you. I need to be able to leak your face. I can't just kiss you for the sake of it.

So I have a lot of guy friends who say that, especially in a gaggle of girls on a night out, they feel that they can't, maybe they're confident or they can't approach the girl. Girls are doing their own thing and I don't want to. Anyway, so there's all of that to contend with. But just like a man with throwdown, like a fucking hot guy that you've been making eyes with all night

so it's consensual. Like he's not lunging at you and you are giving consent. So like just a guy who just like comes over and is just like, I don't know. I want you. I want you.

And like grabs you and you want him to grab you and takes you away. I think most men are scared. I think most men are scared. I think you've got to have that like consent decided. Yeah, obviously. And then it's like, yeah, let's go. you've got to have that like consent decided yeah obviously and then it's like

yeah let's go you've got to not engage that don't you yeah yeah but like like a man with throw down like just

but I think unfortunately for women there are lots of men out there who stand at the edge of dance floors yes and come and touch you

when you like literally don't know them and you're like I'm sorry did you just talk to my and that's why and that's why guys are not going to do that

I know but like I do have this fantasy where a guy does that and it's well but the other way around obviously it works two ways why don't you approach him so I've done that And that's why guys are not going to do that. I know. But I do have this fantasy where a guy does that. What about the other way around? Obviously, it works two ways. Why don't you approach him?

So I've done that. Many times. I've been there. Many times. And it doesn't work. It doesn't work. She gets laid more. No, no, no. Look at this face.

She's fine. You're gorgeous. No, but on dating apps, I'm fire because I'm like, banter, chat, chat, chat, chat, chat. You're catfish. I've actually been told I'm an inverse catfish. Because you're pictures of shit. You're better in real life. Yeah. Every guy. I've actually been told I'm an inverse catfish because you're better in real life yeah every guy most people are now for TV they're like oh you're so much better in real life oh really that's good though no because we live in a social media world where photos hold so much weight well do you know on the internet forever did you ever feel like being Asian that it would

kind of be a like hold you back in the like dating world as I'm back in reality so I don't know why it would hold me back in the villa I thought I'd go in there and you know meet my person to be honest I didn't have any sort of doubts I didn't doubt myself obviously my ethnicity my skin color whatever but I feel like that sets me apart you know that's unique about me statistically Asian men perform really badly on dating apps for example and on instagram men of color get paid less as influencers on instagram so there is that kind of disparity but if you never felt it you never thought about it too much never thought about it never felt it you know it works both ways when i was in the villa i didn't find none of those girls were a bit of me to be honest with you they all look the same as well i was waiting

for a bombshell to come in but you know it just moves so quickly in there and before you know it I'm talking to yous do you do you think you need somebody who's a bit more I'm just like reading you I want someone to have banter with yeah I was lacking and maybe like some career you feel quite like motivate like somebody who's quite motivated by your own you know brand and vision like do you want somebody who's also got their own path and their own shit sorted that's not a prerequisite for me you know if you had that fantastic it would be like a double act but for me it's just having someone to bounce off you know having good banter kind caring those are the qualities I look for yeah and um you know I like someone to take the piss out of me and vice versa yeah I think we're both we're quite similar I'm looking for an influencer or anything Yeah, definitely. And, you know, I like someone to take the piss out of me. I like a good rinse myself. And there was none of that.

Yeah, I think we're both quite similar. I'm not looking for an influencer or anything, just like a normal person, probably got less than a thousand followers. But do you think the way that it's going to happen for you now, just like how people see people who come out of Love Island, it might restrict the type of women

that will approach you because certain women might think, well, he's been on Love Island, he's probably, just no offence, some people might think this, but like he's probably a bit shallow, he's not, he's very interested in what people look like and he's been on Love Island he's probably just no offence some people might think this but like he's probably a bit shallow

he's not he's very interested in what people look like and he's interested in making money or it could go the other way that they think that you wouldn't be

interested in them because you're now you're a Love Islander and they're like a normal person so it could it could go both ways yeah it could work

both ways right but I haven't felt any I haven't felt either of those so also you're getting so many women in your DMs like what's your chat up line do you have any opening lines?

Yeah, I do have an opening line when I slide in. Oh, yeah. What is it? So, here's the thing, name. I hate that. I don't like that we're strangers. Oh. So, it's just like.

You say, here's the thing. So, here's the thing. Name, make it personable. Sophie, Lauren. Sophie, Lauren. I don't like that we're strangers. Have you had an Asian girlfriend before? I haven't, no.

You haven't? Okay, if anyone's listening and they are a bouncy, chatty recruitment. I love how you're asking him that. You haven't had a brown boyfriend. There is a few beautiful girls though. Like Asian girls, yeah. Oh yeah, we're the best.

I'm not talking about you two. I'm talking about DMs. So you are including, you're not in my DMs. I'm trying to diversify. I'm not talking about you two. I'm talking about DMs. So you're including... You're not in my DMs. I'm trying to diversify my palette as well. Brown, black. I'm always doing white. I'm trying to stay away from that, you know.

East Asians don't get enough love. They don't get enough love. Although I am actually... Good love is East Asians. So we're going to play a game where basically we're going to fire some chat up lines to you. These are special things that we have really taken a lot of time to write and research.

I have no doubt about that. We would appreciate if you answered with the love and respect that you've shown us so far. So we're going to fire you some chat up lines and you have to respond. Date or no date? Date or no date. That's it. Quick fire. Yeah, quick fire.

I'll go first. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I'm feeling a connection. Oh, date. That's it. Quick fire, yeah? Yeah, quick fire. I'll go first. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I'm feeling a connection. Or a date. Oh, okay. Are you a parking ticket? Because you got fine written all over you. Because you said it.

No date. I mean! What a bun. Okay. Should we get a coffee? Because I like you. A latte. That is terrible.

That's terrible. That's so so bad yeah okay this is in the same vein is your name chamomile because you're a hot tea no date oh mate that's really strange one i love it that one's too like it needs to be a bit more punchy yeah okay do you have a name or can i call you mine i don't actually understand that one as in you're mine you're oh i was like robina sweet it's quick i like it okay okay yeah it was quite good okay it's all about the delivery isn't it yeah it's about the delivery okay do you know cpr date and that is the end that is the end

Ravina you win I got more dates you got more dates well the truth is I am having his child cat's out of the bag it's not our first either

Monvir it's been so great having you on thank you so much for joining us good luck with all of your post Love Island adventures and I hope you find the woman of your dreams hopefully

you've reached the Shagany Auntie's call centre want advice you can't ask your real aunties for? like how do you ask for what you want in bed? not sure which hole is a goal? Where do anal beads really go? Have you been faking orgasms your whole adult life? Accidentally called your boss daddy? Is your long-time love not going down south? For more than just the tip, we're here for you. Yes, you. And you. And you. Okay, it's time now for the... Shaggy Aunties!

Please remember to ask the bill payers permission before calling us. Shaggy Aunties are not medical professionals and bear no responsibility for the consequences of your own actions. This week's dilemma is... Hi Poppy and Robina. I'm 31, have been single for a few years and I'm completely fine about it. But my married, loved upup friends clearly aren't. They're always trying to set me up with whatever single men they come across. Sometimes I'm actually insulted by the calibre of men they think I should be open to.

I don't think I'm amazing, but some of these guys have shockingly bad vibes. Do you think I need to be more open to their help, or is it okay for me to ask them to stop? First of all, you are amazing. Don't think that you're not amazing. I mean, you literally don't know this about this person. But they could be, they are amazing. But why do you think that? Because all you know about them is that they're 31 and single. Yeah, but I just don't like any woman saying, I don't think I'm amazing. You could be amazing. Yeah, that's true. You could be amazing. You could be a serial killer. I mean,

we just don't know you. She could be a serial killer who's a big fan of Brian. Like a really amazing serial killer. Yeah. At least she's Asian and doing that well. Firstly, I think you're amazing. You shouldn't sell yourself short. I think that's where the problem comes in, right? You don't think you're amazing. Friends, you might be giving off that vibe projecting it. Friends then give you a shit calibre of men.

You need to walk in being like, I'm a fucking peacock. I'm amazing. So then maybe the calibre of men they give to you could be higher. But I think it's totally okay for you to tell your friends to stop if you don't want to be hooked up with these fucking mediocre average guys. And fundamentally, she's happy being single. So tell your friends to back the truck up. I think it's a real problem of people in couples. And as somebody in a couple, I think it's a problem. You're never trying to match make me and say no but I'm a bit different I think maybe then I think there are people who think that that because they're in a couple they are successful whereas I think that I still think

I'm a bit yeah but like I think like people who are in couples think like we have we've made it like we've gamed life yes and then they look at people who are single and they're like you need help you need help because you need to get to this level that we're all on yeah um and that is your friends being incredibly misguided because they don't understand the game of life because that's not the game of life because they're all going through divorces soon and that's all that shit's all going to come to them that's not how life works exactly and you deciding to be single right now for them it's like an affront to them they're like well i've decided to be in a relationship and why is that different so firstly you do need to tell

your friends something because they are very misunderstood about what they think that is good for you and also I'm slightly alarmed at the fact that

they keep giving you shit men why are they giving you shit men shockingly bad vibes shockingly yeah shockingly bad vibes your words listener

not ours so that's also telling either your friends they're just so desperate they're so desperate it's also because sometimes people in couples think that and I say this as someone in a couple but you know they look at single people and they're like they can't be having more fun than us

our life is the most fun and so you need then you're doing what we're doing because we're doing something really fun it's not a competition but also like if your friends really knew you and loved you and respected you a they wouldn't be they wouldn't consistently harass you by hooking you up with these shockingly bad men but also just tell them and if they are going to hook you up with guys make sure they're fucking grade a top tier men like who are these losers yeah and they're really like scraping the barrel probably because for them and this is just me presuming for them but that probably for them they're thinking oh no maybe she's lonely or maybe she feels left out when we're all hanging out in couples and she's the single one and I actually don't think their intentions are bad

I think they're just misunderstood you just need to like realign them and be like yeah hey I don't want to stay at home at 9 p.m and I don't want to try yeah it sounds like I'm I'm trashing this listener's friend and maybe I'm a bit but like you're probably right like maybe it's you having a conversation with them saying listen I'm happy meal prepping and being single yeah I'm watching EastEnders I keep saying EastEnders I actually never watched EastEnders when that clip came out I was just like I've never ever once spoken to you about EastEnders because I don't watch it the last time I watched it was in 1992 it just slipped out just slipped out I was thinking like what do single people do without soap operas but then it's all Netflix now

and then I just went back to the 90s. But the point that I'm making is, I agree with you. You're happy being single. So you should tell your friends that and then they can stop setting you up with these shockingly bad men. And then, and or you could maybe tell them

what your type actually is and they could start finding those men for you. Yeah, if you wanted to be in a relationship at some point, unless you're just into being introduced to weird, gross, shockingly bad vibe guys for the story. I don't think that's her kink. I don't think that's her kink. No, you can do a whole TikTok channel just called

Shockingly Bad Vibes, right? And it's just like every video is like a different guy that your friend introduces you. So you can turn it into content is what I'm saying. But don't do that because I don't think she wants to do that. No, don't do that. I mean, it is sweet that they're trying to find you a guy. Like that is just sweet. That's like a sweet thing

to do. No, no, no, it's not sweet. It's not sweet because they're hooking her up with bad men. I know, but that is, that is, that is like they're not doing their due diligence. Yeah, but they don't think they're bad. They don't think they're bad. Like, to be honest, Poppy, I would never introduce you to a guy that was single because I feel like you would just, your standards are so high and you'd be really stressful but also I know you and whoever that guy is My standards are so low you could literally

introduce me to anyone Yeah that's true Right now in this phase A 22 year old who looks like Timothee Chalamet Right now it's someone fit

funny and tall and someone who's clean that's my baseline But I mean you're not looking for a relationship Yeah but I could you should totally matchmake me with someone

even if I wasn't looking for a relationship, it's like. It's interesting to know who your friends think that is good enough for you. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think anyone's good enough for you. But also you and I, when we go out on a night out, we fancy two very different kind of guys. Oh my God. So I think I know your type and I think you know my type.

But I think this is the problem. When you go out being like, I want to be in a relationship, you set yourself up for so many expectations. Whereas if you go in and like, bare minimum, I don't want them to be a serial killer. I don't want them to be racist. I want them to be clean and nice and funny. That's a great starting point. Like the world's your oyster. You go in being like, he's got to have a double-barreled surname.

He's got to be from this class. He's got to go skiing. Or like the brown version of the white version I just did. Then you're like, well, you're fucked. What's the brown version of skiing? Oh, goes to India. Definitely drives a range or a Mercedes. Mercedes. Has a detached house. Yeah. Dad is, has a business. Accountant. Something higher. Oh. Business, business. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh oh that's like baller but yeah accountant like a good well my dad was an accountant

I'm just saying I think I was a cat no no no no like he's the accountant but owns the accounting firm yeah that's the equivalent anyway so I think it's fine to talk to your friends

and tell them to stop we went on a real but also maybe just keep it open because I think it's funny to have your friends but she sounds tired yeah you do sound tired

she sounds weary it's like look at her she's like do I think I need to be more open to their help and she put help in she sounds weary it's like look at that she's like do I think I need to be more open to their help and she put help in quotation marks because it's not help

you know what she should do you're not helping friends she should give them this episode this bit of the podcast and send it to them and just be like listen to the shagging aunties

oh my god what would you guys think yeah that's a really good idea well I hope you have been helped in non-quotation marks by us. And hopefully we've given you some shockingly great vibes from that chat.

We are always here to help. The Shagney aunties are always at your cervix. I'm off. I had to make that joke. That was really lame. And whether you think we're shockingly good or shockingly bad, we'd love to hear from you. You just have to email us in at browngirlsdoit2 at bbc.co.uk. Or you can WhatsApp a message or a voice note to 07968 100 822.