Brown Girls Do It Too - Being Rebellious with Radhika Apte

Episode Date: February 21, 2025

Emmy-nominated actress Radhika Apte joins Poppy and Rubina to talk about their biggest acts of rebellion and whether it's actually just them living life on their own terms. They chat about owning their decisions, being labelled as 'difficult' and whether they should have listened to their parents all along and become doctors. Radhika has starred in some hugely-success films and risen to fame for her gritty roles and brilliant portrayal of complex characters in movies like Pad Man, Lust Stories and Sister Midnight.Have a message for Poppy and Rubina? If you’re over 16, you can message the BGDIT team via WhatsApp for free on 07968100822. Or email us at [e-mail] you're in the UK, for more BBC podcasts listen on BBC Sounds: bbc.in/3UjecF5

BBC Sounds music radio podcasts. Rebel Rebel you've torn your dress. Rebel Rebel your face is a mess. Rebel Rebel how could they know? What am I saying? What is this by the way? Oh it's David Bowie it was like a whole David Bowie thing. Did you not get that? I didn't get that. Do you think anyone's gonna get that?

No not us. Everyone's gonna get it. Not our audience. Listeners write in because if you got it then I'm right. I would love for you to DM me to tell me if you knew this was... This is not even a big famous Bowie song. Rebel, rebel, you've torn your dress. Nope.

Rebel, rebel, your face is a mess. Still nothing. This podcast contains strong language. And adult themes. And rebels. When was the last time you had sex? Because when brown girls get down, the world tends to have a little something to say. And we've got something to say right back. This is a podcast about sex. Because when brown girls get down, the world tends to have a little something to say. And we've got something to say right back. This is a podcast about sex.

Where we can't stop thinking about it, talking about it, and doing it. I'm Robina and my biggest rebellion is getting my lip pierced at 20. You can kind of see a whole lot. And not to inside lip pierce, which is, you know, even more chic and not telling my mom and surprising her Heathrow Airport. And yes, she almost didn't take me home after asking me if I was gay, obviously. I'm Poppy and my biggest rebellion was moving out of my parents' home. But I sort of lied and I said that I was going to Manchester for a job and then never moved back. So was there a rebellion?

I don't fucking know. It wasn't like the way white people do it, like I'm moving out and it's a whole thing. I was like, I've just got a directing job and I've been in Manchester for three months. And then somewhere else, then somewhere else. And then somewhere else, and then somewhere else, and then I just never returned. Yeah, yeah. Then what? She's employed. Yeah, exactly. She's earning. Yeah. But what does being a rebel even mean?

Today, we're going to be exploring the word rebel, what it means and how it makes us feel. I think it feels quite good. Yeah, it does feel sometimes. And joining us is Emmy nominated Indian actress who's risen to fame for her gritty roles and brilliant portrayal of complex characters, Radhika Apte. Woo! Welcome.

Hi, thank you. Her latest release is the comedy horror Sister Midnight, which comes out on March the 14th. The movie has had its premiere at Cannes Film Festival and has been nominated for a BAFTA. In the movie, Radhika plays a newlywed adjusting to life after entering an arranged marriage. Been there, done that. We love the film. Yeah, really, really great. Thank you.

I also watched an interview you did with the director who is kind of giving me like Tarantino vibes. And I love the way he describes you as like a modern British, like Indian Buster Keaton. Yeah. I think that's such a great on point description. It's a huge responsibility. I mean, that's a huge compliment, but he's very generous with it. Yeah, I think it's a crazy film, isn't it? It's a completely bonkers film. Let me set the scene, okay? They said you were coming on,

and they gave us a link to the film. So I was in my bathrobe. I'm always in my bathrobe because I have no heating, because I can't afford to get a plumber, but that's a whole other thing. So I'm in my bathrobe. And you know when you watch a film and you expect it to be,

because Indian cinema is actually amazing. I'm not talking about Bollywood, obviously Bollywood, like 90s Bollywood for me is the one, but Indian cinema is incredible. And I watched it and the soundtrack, the cinematography, it's like very sort of Wes Anderson kind of, I mean firstly your physical comedy, she's got incredible physical comedy, your physical comedy together with the edit, the way they edited it is incredible. But also your character of this sort of working class Indian woman who gets married to this wasteman, like loser. In England we say wasteman. It's just about being an outlaw and it's because she just doesn't want to adhere to anything

because she asks a question about everything. Yeah, she's rebellious and she's a nod ball. Absolutely. I mean, she's rebellious only because she asks a question. Yes. And she wonders why, why do I have to know this? Why do I have to do this? That's it. And I think, you know, honestly, I went to a very different school. I mean, a very experimental school. And in Pune, where I come from originally, that was the first school, probably one of the first schools to come to India, I'd say. And they used to really insist that anyone tells you anything, ask why. And why should I do this? And why? And I think that's rebellion for me. That's that's rebellion. That's Uma,

for me. That's not like my three year old. Why? Why? Yeah, why? Yeah, but it's so great that they can ask questions like that. They can ask why. Can you imagine like when we were kids and we asked, you're like shut up, one slap on the bum. Yeah, I think though, brown girls asking the why question, especially when you were meant to be obedient and a good girl. Yeah. It's gotten me into so much trouble.

Like asking the why, why do I have to get married? Why do I have to do this? Why do I have to go? I guess that's why we wanted to talk about being rebellious with you because every act that your character does is an act of rebellion. She goes against the grain. There's a scene where she's married.

And actually this surprised me and I suppose shows my own internalized patriarchy is she doesn't have to cook. But it's interesting because she did get married. Yeah. And that's really interesting because she couldn't suppress the inner rebellion, but she still did this kind of very conventional.

That's true actually, that's true. And she just lives by her own rules. There's no manual, right? Otherwise to how to live life. Do you think that's something that you have done within your career in life as well? I think so, I think so. I mean, I have never done something for somebody else.

I've never done anything because somebody wanted me to do it. And that's why I have no regrets. I made mistakes, but they were my mistakes. I think that's the privilege I've had. And my family was very supportive with everything. My family was very open, but still, I still to date, I'm the difficult girl of the difficult daughter. That's the word.

You really used the right word. I know, I'm a difficult, exactly. And I come from a really, really progressive family. And you're still the difficult one. I'm still the difficult one. So what is difficult for them? Why are you difficult? I argue. That's

why I'm difficult. Where argue is. Exactly. I argue when I'm told something and you know, sometimes parents go, no, no, you shouldn't do that. Why? And they don't have an answer. What do you mean? Like, oh, no, no, no, no, you shouldn't do that. What are you thinking? My mom always says to me, of course you do that because you always do something to be different. Yes. Like you always do something to be different. Yes, exactly. Like you're doing it to be different. It's like, I'm not doing it to be different.

It's because it's what I want to do. It's like she thinks I'm purposefully pissing her off. Yeah. I mean, my dad, part jokingly, told a lot of people that, oh, well, I mean, my husband actually said that, oh, I mean, welcome to the family. I don't know if you know her well enough, but she's an extremely cantankerous woman. Oh, that's a great word. I mean, I was like, uh, okay. I'm like, I'm exactly like you. My, I'm literally like my

father. He was a rebel. He did everything. He never listens to my God assault. But do you think he's allowed to be more rebellious? Cause he's a man. I think so. And he has a license to do that. I mean, people are charmed by his rebellion. They think that, oh what a cool guy. And I'm a difficult woman. Yeah. So. But I think that you've hit something there because I think men carry, brown men especially

in our community, the way brown men are raised. Yeah. It's just so right. It's charming. I get this at work all the time, right? Yeah. I get called pit bull Poppy at work, but if I was a man, same exact same thing, no one would budge. Yeah. Pit bull Poppy is a great nickname.

Hey, look, I'm not Poppy, right? So everyone's there like that. If I think she's a flower, it's not that it's a cuss, but it's the intentions by which they're saying it. Because you wouldn't say people are dead, would you? You'd be like, it's because I'm assertive. And it's the same with being a rebellion, being difficult, being loud, being curious. Yeah. And I don't think those things pertain to just being a brown woman. I think any woman in a space where it's obviously is a patriarchal system. Yeah.

I mean, it comes down to like, do you have to make a ruckus? Do you have to do this? It's cringed upon it like, oh, you're boring, you're exhausting. That's basically what you get for being, especially at work. My God, at work. I mean, I find working in England actually much better. And I don't say that. I'm not generalizing it. Just a couple of projects that I've done here.

I've enjoyed them in the sense that there's been equality in India, maybe because I've done about 60, 65 projects. There's been an equal part that's been annoying, right? But there have been so many, like most of my friends and colleagues that I now work with are incredible and they're egalitarian. But a lot of times they go like, do you have to do that?

You agents go like, do you have to do that? Can you not like find a way to meet them halfway? I'm like, no, it's just completely not. I can't do it. Like, tell me why. And part of that is because of the structures and the systems aren't really built for us. So we're trying to find new ways to be like,

hang on, this isn't working for me. Like I really liked your phrase outlaw because I think part of being a rebel is about looking at the laws and being like, no, I'm not doing this. This is not good for me. And it's not good for my people. It's not what I want to do. So I'm going to. Yeah. And secondly, also, I mean, when you do that, your, your, your career, your work, your something is jeopardized, right? You're always worried that you're going to lose something. I remember I was on a tiny example. I was in a film set and the male actor came four hours late

tiny example, I was in a film set and the male actor came four hours late. Classic. And I was livid. And the excuse that was given to us already before he arrived was bullshit. And I called his bullshit out immediately. So he came and I got up and I started clapping. And I said, oh, nice move. Yay. I said, he's here, guys, finally. Now we can start working.

The directors, I remember still remember their faces guys, finally, now we can start working. The directors, I remember still remember their faces, they were like, what are you doing? You're going to be screwed. And I was like, no, this guy needs to know that he's kept everybody waiting for hours. Get a high five for that. I'm so glad you did that. No, I did. And he was so embarrassed actually, that he apologized.

And then he said, yeah, my wife always complains all these actors keep coming late, so I know what you mean. I was like, excuse me? Rightly or wrongly, society enables big stars who tend to be men, right? Yes. Who tend to be men. Yeah.

And it's like, you have to call this behavior, but you did it. And this is the thing, this is what I think Men Create Wars, but you did it in such a non-conflicting, you know, like conflict resolution. You did it in a non-confrontational way. But you did it in such a non-conflicting, you know, like conflict resolution. You did it in a non-confrontational way. And you did what all aunties do. You say things in a joke.

You're fat. But if you were angry about it, it would have been bad. You're absolutely right. And I was just telling somebody two days ago that when I want to make something happen, I try to play dumb. And honestly, that's such a sad thing. I don't want to have to do that. And I, that's such a sad thing. I don't want to be

have to do that. And I hope my daughter now when she grows up doesn't have to do that. And she she's not going to be called difficult. And she's going to bloody stand on her ground and just do what she wants to do. But I always played dumb. So do I. I totally acknowledge that. You know, I mean, I think we do that quite a lot on this podcast. We have to play dumb because the moment a woman steps into a room full of other women and men, let's not just blame the men, and she acts like a know it all, she's fucked. She's totally fucked.

So you have to be like, oh my God, I do this with contributors when I'm directing. You can't, you've got to toe the party line between sounding like you actually know something, but also being honest and being like, I actually don't. I will be the first to put my hands up and say, I actually don't know. Me too. I actually don't know. We live in a world where everyone pretends to know shit. Or sorry.

Or say sorry. And mean it. Sorry is hard. Yeah, I mean it. I'm not stubborn. I'm not, I don't have pride. So if I'm wrong about something, I'll admit it. But you have to, because if you were going to call that guy out in an angry and I know

you were feeling angry. I'm fucking angry when someone's two minutes late to a Zoom. Of course. Exactly. But if you're the one that's always late to a Zoom. I'm like that guy. I just hate him when actors are late. Like growing up for me, when I thought about being a British Asian woman, I had this idea of what that was. Someone

quite oppressed, someone who followed the rules, someone quite quiet. And I never wanted to be any of that. So I was like, I'm going to just be the complete opposite of that. That's how I envisioned my identity to be like, I'm going to be the British Asian woman you've never fucking met before. That's where my rebellion kind of, it was complete opposite of what I had imagined was the original. And now, as an older, I'm like, that imagination is bullshit. It's something I made up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think what I personally think where it comes from is the need to fit in with your

family and your loved ones. You want to be loved and you want to be accepted and you want their validation. And it's really scary to do otherwise. So I think it probably comes from there, I guess. But it's funny, you know, because all my twenties, I remember thinking in my thirties, all my twenties, I was so rebellious. I was so, I wanted to do anything anybody said,

I want to do the opposite. And even today I tell people, I close people that don't tell me not to do it because even if I actually don't want to do it, I'll do it. Yes, because it's literally now in me. Your DNA. Exactly. I mean, I had a baby and my mom constantly kept telling me, don't eat this because she'll

get gas. I was like, I don't even want to eat this. Now I'm going to get gas. Exactly. Exactly. I'm going to do it because just don't tell me I'm tired. I want to eat what I want to it because just don't tell me. I'm tired. I want to eat. I love this. It's so true.

Don't tell me. What is that? Because actually we had a discussion the other day about how like we were so, we felt so like trapped in a box that we rebelled so hard and now we can't find, now we can't find our way back to the box. Absolutely. In my 20s, I literally did everything that the opposite of everything that I was told to me. And then in 30s, I was like, actually, there are so many things in the middle. And I probably actually believe in that. Oh mate, I've been recently thinking about

how I probably should have been a doctor. Because I'm really fucking smart. And I'm really good with people. And I would love to have done something like that. It's just because my parents wanted it for me. I was like, fuck you. Yeah. You know what? This is so funny.

You said that my parents are doctors and my dad really wanted me to be a doctor. I was like, fuck you. Yeah. You know what? This is so funny. You said that my parents are doctors and my dad really wanted me to be a doctor. I was like, there's no chance I will never be a doctor. And recently, because of my because of pregnancy, I was just meeting all these midwives and doctors. I was like, this is such an amazing profession. And I was like, oh, my dad, like it's exactly my dad. This is my childhood. You you you have this aptitude, that aptitude should be coming up. I'm never going to be a doctor. What can I do that's the opposite of doctor? You two, every Asian parent, if they ever listen to this podcast, will be like, you

were right all along. That's why when you raise a kid, you have to reverse mind tricks. Yes. You have to be like, yeah, be an actor, be a dancer. Here's a trumpet, be a musician. Yeah, take drugs, drink alcohol, see if I care. But actually even like excess, like um, euphoria, like chasing drugs, chasing highs, dancing, staying up all night. That is also something I feel like I just chased because I was like, that's like the naughtiest thing you could do. And like if my parents ever knew I was doing any of this, they'd be so ashamed. I was chasing that almost, which is kind of crazy. Yeah. With me, that was, I mean, my mom, my mom gave me condoms even before I thought that I wanted to have sex. You know, yeah. Or like said, do you want to have a cigarette? They didn't smoke. They bought doctors. But I mean, that's not, that's not, you know what

they were doing though. They were reverse mind Jedi mind tricking you. Yeah, but they do. But that helped. And they were like, do you want to smoke a cigarette? You smoke in front of us. And so I didn't smoke for a long time. And then of course I smoked for, again, a decade and they know about it. But I mean, it was actually quite healthy to be able to tell them and, you know,

but there were some things, I mean, of course, that they were cautious about, rightly so. And now that I've just had a child, I literally, I can see where they come from as well. Because I had, for example, once I had a boyfriend who used to work all day and I was at college all day and I could never meet him. So my mom was like, well, you can't meet him.

You can't meet him. What are you gonna do? So I used to run out of the house at 1 a.m. and make sure that come back in at 5 a.m. We were all black. And I used to, like, you know, I have done some really stupid things. Oh yeah. a daughter I'm like I'm gonna tie her up but she is not going to do that.

What if something happens to her? You are defying, every Asian parent listening in is gonna be like told you I was right. So like obviously you've rebelled at a bunch of things that kind of maybe have been anti the ideas of what your parents have. What do you think your your daughter is going to rebel against some of the visions you might have for her? Especially when you're tying her up. I'm not going to really do that. I was just I was just admiring my mother actually. I was actually thinking I really admire her. I've taken I've literally called her one day say I'm going to Sri Lanka. I've taken, I've literally called her one day, said I'm going to Sri Lanka,

I've gone to Sri Lanka overnight. I've called her and said, I'm going to Himachal Pradesh, this is another boyfriend I had, I was a jerk. But I went and I was like, I'm gonna go. I took an ST bus, which is not, it's like a bus. Like a red, yeah, but then they travel long distances. They stop every five minutes.

I was in this overnight bus in North India where it's not safe for women, stepping out, smoking cigarettes in the middle of the night. I was the only woman, there were men all around me. And I was like, what was I thinking? And my mother was like, just, can you please be in touch with me? That's all I ask.

My mother was a hero. And now I appreciate that. But I don't know, I was actually thinking about my daughter, we were talking about that quite recently. I was like, either she would crave for boundaries in the sense that, give me some more restrictions. Like give me, I want some structure where, guide me, like, help me, like tell me what do you think or what to do.

Sometimes you'd like to be told what to do. Sometimes you want to be told what to do. You need it as well if you're a child. You need it sometimes, you know? And so it could be that or she could become a doctor. And suddenly I was like, I would love that. Yeah, secretly. You could secretly want to.

No, because I was like, you know what? I've grown up with a family of doctors and I lived in India all my life. Now I've lived, I've been living here in England for the last 10, 14 years. So I live here officially. But if my daughter's doctor, great. Ultimate badge of honor.

If you've played a game of would you rather your daughter a lawyer or a doctor? Doctor. Yeah. Doctor, human rights lawyer, still a doctor. I do think that's where my sons are going to go though, because I've really pushed creative subjects at them because I grew up with none. Like My parents were very much like math, science, you know, if you're gonna read, read Shakespeare kind of thing. It was all really like curriculum based.

But I have to say, sorry, sorry, I suddenly had a brainwave. I do remember one thing. One thing if my daughter rebels against, I would be crestfallen. So I was just, again, when I was pregnant, which was a bit unexpected for us and I was in the train and this teenage girl came and sat in front of me and she'd done a lip job and quite a few things on her face. And I panicked and I called my partner and said that if my daughter does this, I will die because I have been somebody who spoke speaks very, very, very openly about plastic surgeries and against them for conventional purposes, not for medical purposes, but just because people want bigger breasts or bigger boobs or bigger lips or whatever other stuff.

Because I think it's unending. I think it's the opposite of what we're trying to seek. And this makes a human being so insecure constantly. So you have to make sure your daughter's off social media. Exactly. Because I hate to break it to you, Ravika. Both of my sisters who are beautiful, I have lip fillers, there is no escaping that.

And in London, you see everywhere. Everywhere. Gang hacker, collagen. I know. I have a friend who's a- I'm petrified. I have to say, I'm gonna tell my daughter not to do it and she's going to do it. So I was actually, I've been having this conversation with my husband. I'm like,

how am I, how, how, and she was like, you have to make sure she understands that she's beautiful. Yes. And, but anyway, sorry, a diversion. You do that by understanding that you're beautiful, I think, because I think when I used to watch my mom look in the mirror at herself, you know, take a real pride in her appearance and like who she saw. Yeah.

And I was like, I don't mind looking like you as I go, you are a beautiful woman and you love yourself. And that's why I want more than anything else. Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, yeah, I don't quite understand. We just anyway, that's a different topic. But I think that's what if she rebels against that, I'll be, I'll die. Well, you have a whole other topic.

But as a non parent, I would like to explain to you both, if you both want your children to be doctors, here's what you do. Don't fucking tell them to be a doctor. Be like, tell them to be a rock star, give them the vodka. Like the other thing that I think my kids could rebel against is the fact that we're quite messy and we're quite loose and we're quite casual. And then I think that our boys are going to want more structure and they're going to be really tidy and they're going to want like a house that's minimalist, you know, whereas we're like colorful and

we're like, and I think that you just always will naturally rebel against the person who raised you. I mean, to be honest, exactly. I think, I think rebelling is something that's so essential. And I hope my daughter does that. Whatever I teach her or not, I hope she does that because it's something that you have to do it. You have to go through it. And it's a good thing.

Rebelling against something is a good thing. It comes from a place of questioning something. And I think that's the sign of being alive. But can it be a bad thing? So exactly what I was saying earlier about rebelling for the sake of it, rebelling just because you know that it might piss somebody off. Like, where does it get to the point where you're not rebelling because it's part of you and you're trying to experiment with your personality, but you're rebelling because

you know that your mum's going to be angry. I mean, absolutely. But I think that anything is good or bad depending on where it comes from. Right? So yes, definitely. I mean, I've done that. But you are the one who pays the price. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody else is thinking I ate something I didn't want to

eat and now I'm starting. So you're going to pay for it. Do you regret my lip piercing? Oh, see, you know what, you two are basically defying every Asian parent is just going to be like, you know what, these two, listen to these two. I do, I do regret my lip piercing. I mean it was a very fun adventure. I was in Thailand, I was 20, you know I was on my year abroad like it was exactly what I should have been doing at the time but now I'm like well I've got a nice face and it does feel like but then it's like a scar from the face that you're like whatever. I didn't even know you got a lip piercing. What was it? Oh is that what that is? Yeah. Were you two, it sounds like you were rebellious as a child, right? Yes. Were you rebellious as a child?

Yes. But like secretly, I think I did like, I did good girl to mom and dad. Ah, right. And then I said like 20s was rebellion. 20s was the hardcore rebellion. Zero to 18, I was the good girl. Well, I was rebellious for my very bingouli, small conservative community. I was rebellious for my very Bengali, small conservative community in family gatherings. I'd be the one, loud mouth, question, why, why, why? But I was good, obedient, good Muslim, practicing, helped raise my siblings.

And then I realized I wasn't getting anywhere from being not rebellious. And so I suppose it's when I went to uni to now, I'm just, it's like you were saying, it's just part of your DNA. Because I think not that Asians are a monolith, we're not, but we come from very collectivist cultures where, you know, especially as a woman,

you are required to do certain things. Get married, have a child, have a good job, et cetera, et cetera. Your life is kind of planned out. So if you deviate in any way or a big way, it is seen as an act of rebellion. So I just think for me, it's not even that I'm rebelling or calling it rebellion. I'm just being me, right? And the act of being me to lots of other people might be seen as being rebellious. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Exactly. It's just, as I said, that activating me in the sense that you ask a question, you do what you want.

And that's exactly that. Sometimes I wonder that if I'm, what's the problem with what I'm doing? It's not really affecting your life. So what is the problem? Why do you call it rebellion? What am I doing that's harming anybody? But society needs rebels, right? Because there's the law book, there's the outlaws, there's the people on the side, there's every like showing us all the different alternative lifestyles we can lead. Otherwise, we're just going to do the same shit over and over again and be unhappy. Rebell is a good word. Absolutely. It's a

compliment. I think definitely. Lots of I can imagine lots of aunties who were who wanted to rebel but couldn't listening to us and being like, you know, because you think about that lost generation of aunties and I'm like, they also probably wanted to be outlaws but had to marry their cousins or marry that guy from the village or do this and they had different lives. So we're all the rebels riding off on our horses in the outlaws. But thank our mothers. Yes.

But we have to thank our mothers. And fathers because they did contribute in some way or the other. And they were rebelling. And they had sex. We're alive. You know. You've reached the Shaggyney aunties call centre. Want advice you can't ask your real aunties for? Like how do you ask for what you want in bed? Not sure which hole is a goal?

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Anyway, please remember to ask the bill playerers permission before calling us Shaggy aunties are not medical professionals and bear no responsibility for the consequences of your own actions. I will read it this week. Dear Shaggy aunties, I have a wonderful girlfriend and we have great sex together, but I have a secret fantasy. I threesome with another girl. My girlfriend has a foxy friend who I suspect might be willing to join us. Sorry, did he say foxy friend? He's in his 50s. Oh, I thought it was a woman with another woman. I thought it was a man and a woman and a woman. Oh my God, unclear. Okay, keep going.

I worry about asking my girlfriend in case she thinks it means I don't love her. Any advice on how I should broach this subject or should I just forget it and keep it as a secret fantasy? Producer Zayna has just put it's a man in the script. Oh, it's a man. Well, Michael. You foxy, foxy Michael. So he basically wants a threesome. He wants a threesome and he thinks one of his girlfriend's friends is foxy. Oh, okay. This is... He has to address it now. Michael, I'm addressing you directly.

I would not go there. What? But hear me out, hear me out, hear me out. So firstly, it's not a rando. There's two parts to this. Number one, you gotta broach the idea that you wanna thweesome with her. She's cooking and cleaning and going to work,

making her prep lunch, her meals. She's talking to her girlfriend. She's on the WhatsApp group chats. Everything's normal. She thinks everything could be fine. He then suddenly drops a fucking clanger. I want a thweesome. Whoa. So he's got to, firstly, he's got to deal with that and how to tackle that and navigate that. Does he just bring it over Dahl and Rotti? Like, oh, I'd like a thweesome. I want to know, Michael, why do you think the foxy friend might be willing to join? I want to know Michael, why do you want to bang the foxy friend that that is just too much. If it was a rando or someone you just put an ad on gum to your found on

field if my partner said to me, I really want to have a threesome. Maybe we should get Poppy involved. I would find that very weird. And I would say no. I mean, I would also say no. But I would be like, yeah, I can kind of understand where that's like come from. Whoa, you don't shit where you sleep with a friend. It crosses so many boundaries. Then when she's making him his doll, she's thinking, is she thinking about my foxy friend while she's banging me while he's banging me? We don't know that she's some sort of insecure psycho. She could be like, yes, I'm up for this. Okay, Michael, thank you for asking me. I've been fantasizing about threesome for a while. I mean, you brought up because I, thank you for asking me. I've been fantasizing about a threesome for a while. I've been thinking about you brought up

because I was going to bring it up. I've been thinking about a threesome with Lucy too. But I was going to say, because I thought it was the girl writing it and then it kind of neutralizes the whole gender thing. I think you've made the girlfriend seem like a psycho. No, I've not made the girlfriend seem like a psycho. I'm just saying, no, she's not a psycho at all.

I'm just saying, firstly, she's not a psycho at all. I'm just saying when you firstly, when you want to threesome, it's quite big to ask that in a monogamous relationship, right? Anything that deviates from what you're doing is different. Then you're not asking to sleep with a rando or someone you meet on a date. You're asking to sleep with a friend. A foxy friend. A foxy friend that you've been finding attractive for a while. And I think anyone, you don't have to be a psycho insecure. Anyone will be like, well, how long have you been fancy Michael? What's going on here? I'm fucking secure as fuck. Right. But even for me, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have a threesome with you or any of my friends ever. I wouldn't have a threesome with you. I'm really annoyed about that actually. I can reject you. I rejected

you first. Exactly. This is not about us having a threesome. I'm not trying. I rejected you first. I rejected you first. Exactly. This is not about us having a reason. I'm not trying to like lure you in with my cheap bra look today. Look, I can't imagine a scenario where we would sleep together. I can't unless we were taking a lot of drugs. Maybe couldn't find the way home. We were lost and high. Then maybe we'd sleep together. I look, we've all been lipstick lesbians, right? That doesn't count, right? We're up in the club, and you're like smooching your friend, and Lean Back is playing on, you know what I mean? Lean Back! You know what I mean? It's not a great smooch song, by the way, I have to say. But we've all done it.

Lean Back. Lean Back. It's the first time. It's the opposite of Leading In. It's like, ladies, lean back. Lean Back. Don't come into my workplace. Lean back, please. So I don't know, what would you say? I just think friends leave alone because she just does it. There's a lot going on there, babe. I think for like long term, long term relationship, you have to be honest. And I think you have to say, listen, I'm thinking about like, maybe we could open it up. Start with the threesome chat first. Yes. Yes. You know, see where

that goes. That's all for now. Thank you for listening. And if you have any thoughts, questions or dilemmas like our lovely Michael for the Chagney aunties, you can email us at browngirlsdoit2 at bbc.co.uk. Or you can send us a WhatsApp or voice note to 0796810822. FYI, his real name isn't Michael by the way. Brown Girls Do It Too. F.Y.R. his real name isn't Michael by the way. I'm Joanna Page. I'm Natalie Cassidy. And we want to tell you all about our podcast. Off the telly. It's basically both of us chatting about what we've been up to. On and off screen.

It's just brilliant. Who and what we just can't resist. With plenty of behind the scenes stories and gossip. Yeah. Cracking, we always say cracking now. Really? Everything's cracking. It's definitely the place for what's occurring. Oh Jo, you do that so well. Off the tally.

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