Brown Girls Do It Too - Brown BOYS Do It Too

Episode Date: May 19, 2023

Red Alert: boys in the BGDIT studio! Poppy and Rubina reluctantly let comedian/actor/writer, Eshaan Akbar, and R&B singer/model Jernade Miah join the fun.They talk about love, shame, oral sex, bad relationships and paying for porn with your father’s credit card.Have a message for Poppy and Rubina? If you’re over 16, you can message the BGDIT team via WhatsApp for free on 07968100822. Or email us at [e-mail] episodes released every week. If you're in the UK, for more BBC podcasts listen on BBC Sounds: bbc.in/3UjecF5

BBC Sounds music radio podcasts girls rule boys drool girls in this podcast use very strong language

brown boys do it too girls in this podcast have conversations about adult themes brown boys do it too they obviously don't because you guys have me

no you need to read them all brown boys do it too the briefings we were given the briefings they were too? They obviously don't because you guys have me. No, you need to bring them up. The briefing we were given. No, no, it's true. They were given the briefing of under duress but only for boys. No one told you to do under duress. You know what? You shamed brown boys. But maybe you should just be like

up and down the land. Watch this. Brown boys do it too. I'm Poppy and I think the best thing about being a girl is that they are the better species. Full stop, period, the end, fact, truth bombs, mind blown. I'm Rubina, and I think the best thing about being a girl is having tits. They keep me company, provide me some buoyancy in water,

and I can look down at myself and think, God, they're so fucking cool. I don't have boobs, but I imagine it would be quite cool I love it the other day I was actually having sex I was looking down at myself and I was like turning yourself on it's amazing that I have boobs and as a mother who has breastfed I know that they're functional they're sexy and I've got this new thing about like brown nipples because when I was growing up I I the porn that I watched all the stuff that turned me on was like white people about like brown nipples because when I was growing up, the porn that I watched, all the stuff that turned me on was like white people, white bodies, pink nipples. And now I look at my nipples,

which are literally the size of Poppy's earrings. They are... Nice. My nipple to tip ratio is big. And now I'm like, that's fucking hot. Yeah. I look down and get turned on by my boobs too. I just...

No. Yeah, yeah. Before we go down and move the rabbit hole let's address the two elephants in the room I beg your pardon

no no brown boys we've got brown boys in the studio we are here I feel so honoured to be here

I'm blushing here because I fancy you a little bit that's why I think I feel nervous all the best she will totally shag you she will 100% I'm so honoured to be here. I'm blushing here because I fancy you a little bit. That's why I think I feel nervous. Well, the best thing should be She will totally shy you. She will 100% shy you.

Just being you. Just being you. Come on. Nice! What's up? We're going to have an orgy. Listen, just be you. Introduce yourself.

I love the honesty. All right, okay, cool. I'm Junaid. I love the honesty. Okay, cool. I'm Junaid. I'm a singer. I model a little bit and I do R&B music and it's like sexy R&B. Nice. Cool. My name is Ishan Akbar.

I'm a comedian. I'm an actor. I'm a writer. I have also modelled. I was once the fat love interest genuinely true for a bengali song that got aired in calcutta that was sung by bubba leary wow he's bubba leary bubba leary he's like an old bollywood yeah bollywood singer wow sorry was that your name on the call sheet fat love interest well no but it was basically what i was doing they didn't they

see both models wow you're both singers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I also have sex to R&B. If you were a girl for a day, what would you do? In the style of Beyonce, please. Are you getting them to sing it? Why not? Okay, fine.

Oh my God, I'll be singing all day. You don't have to. No, you don't have to. You don't have to do anything. Just say it. Say it normally and then if you can muster a sing song later, do it. Just cut us singing into the top of that. I guess if I was a girl for the day,

I would literally just look at myself in the mirror. Not just play with myself. You'd play with yourself. Just to know what kind of like... You'd masturbate you'd masturbate just because I want to know what that girl is

actually feeling because a girl can say yeah oh yeah I just can't but you don't really know if they really have

oh right yeah you don't know you don't know when a girl's calm well as in like if they're really enjoying it and if they're like

you mean like you're worried they're faking it yeah they're faking it You mean like, you're worried they're faking it? Yeah, they're faking it. Yeah. Do you not think you can tell? No, I don't think you can tell. You can tell.

I think with girls... I can tell. Not with me, I'm faking it. I think I can tell if a guy's come. Of course you can. He's physically coming.

He's giving you something. It's very hard for a guy to fake coming. Well, they don't all just come like that. They, you know, sometimes they don't ejaculate like, should they come? Oh, babe they don't ejaculate like shit loads of cum.

Oh, babe! You've been lied to! No, but you know, most of them, there's something. Are you telling us? There's something, sure, but it's like,

you can't always, if they have a condom and you're drunk, you don't know if it's happened, you know, you're just like... No, no, I'm usually... Yeah, he knows. I know.

He knows. He knows he's cum. I think a very discernible, someone who's had, like, lots of, or just experience will know when a girl's faking's come. I think a very discernible, someone who's had lots of sex, or just experience, will know when a girl's faking it. But I think girls are better at faking it

on average than boys. But surely you can feel when we come. Yes, you can feel it. But you can also see it. If you're having penchant of sex, I mean, you can feel it. Yeah. But most,

I think a lot of men are so used to wanking themselves off and so self-absorbed and so narcissistic I don't know Poppy why don't we ask the men in the room fucking hell

I mean I forgot they were here I think most men most men are like this what do you think no but I I know what you mean like I'm

like these fucking 24 year olds I'm fucking like they don't know if I've come I tell them I didn't come I have to tell them I think that's good absolutely yeah but I also I've come. I tell them I didn't come. I have to tell them. Do you say that? I think that's good.

Absolutely, yeah. But I also, I've realised I'm never going to come, I don't think I'm going to come from penetrative sex. No, I always come from penetrative sex. I have to have a relationship with them.

I can't. Oh, you can't. It's such an inconvenience. That's so sad. That's really sad. Pathetic. I know. And I have a sex,

what I mean is, I'm a fucking sharp shot now. Lame! She's too in her head I'm going to have Felix to cut I know you have no idea

how it fucks with the brand honestly I think I told you this in one of the episodes after my 10 year relationship I'm like oh my god what about when you masturbate do you feel like

you have to have a feeling with yourself you're like hey babe Ranjeev no no when I cum I'm a machine that's why I need to

top up the do you I'm a machine that's why I need to top up the the do you sound like a machine do you know oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh No, I make really great porn sounds. Of course. I really do. But no, I can't. When I'm masturbating, I cum all the time. But with men, no, I have to.

Do you talk about you when you're? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love that. We should talk about what you would do for a day if you were a girl. If I were a girl, I would finger blast the shit out of myself. Wow. I'm trying to be more polite. Do you know what I mean? I'm sorry, you can do so many things as women

and both of you will just go masturbate. Yeah, why not? I can't rate them for it. Think about the number of men who put stuff up our asses just to see what it feels like. So if we've got a vagina, it's another hole. A. And B. I've always been intrigued as to

which bit of the vagina is the one that that women enjoy the most because i know okay so for example the vagina there's but one bit no no as a hole it's a tunnel isn't it oh yeah you're right you're right so where the erogenous zones are yeah i know at least two of them right but i don't know if anything happens in the walls of the vagina. Oh, interesting. So I'd like to know, I'd like to see if anything happens in the walls of the vagina. I don't think anything does happen in the walls. I mean, like...

When you say the walls, what wall are we talking about? The side walls, the jamiroquai side walls. When you go in... The flats, the inner labia, the flats. Yeah, but then, because basically I know that the roof of the vagina is a very good erogenous zone. I just cannot believe I have a man talking to me about what's in the vagina. This is amazing. I know, and I'm learning stuff.

Do you know what? Tell me about the roof. You say the roof, you mean where the clit is at the top? The roof. The roof is on fire. So if this is a vagina, like a good, if you can see this, if you're fingering someone, it should be like on the roof. The rougher bit. Yeah. When we feel the rougher bit, when I feel the rougher bit, that's someone, it should be like on the roof. Yeah. The rougher bit.

Yeah. When we feel the rougher bit, when I feel the rougher bit, that's when I know that's the erogenous zone. Yeah. I learned that from a book and then practiced it. Okay. But I want to know whether the walls of the vagina.

Have you just tried that with a partner and been like, does that feel good? Does that feel good? No, because when you're in the middle of it, you can't just be like, okay, let me just,

let me just do a duster. Let me just try a duster and a leg spin. You've got to stay in the come hither movement. You can't be suddenly playing test cricket. You've got to be mixing up, right? Because you're like, you're like building up the tension. You're building up the anticipation for the moment. You can't just be like, let me stay in this one spot.

Right? Yeah, but you're doing other stuff too. What else are you doing? Like, oh, I cleaned up today. I washed the dishes. You can't just be like, let me stay in this one spot. Right? Yeah, but you're doing other stuff too. What else are you doing? Like, oh, I cleaned up today. I washed the dishes. Oh, right. Oh, okay, yeah. Every woman's dream.

I have it. Every woman's dream. Sure, I'll have kids one day. Sell dreams as you're doing. So it's interesting that you both went for sex. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, sorry, honest. That's normal, though. No, no, no. No judgment here at all, sorry. I think that's normal, though. No, no, no. No judgment here at all. I think it's good that you went. I mean, I wasn't expecting it, but now it makes total sense. Yeah, yeah. And you're both coming at it from a very curious,

I really would want to know what it feels like to be a woman. Like if I touch myself here or touch myself here, or does this bit work or does this bit work? How do I feel about here? So, no, no, no, no. Because for men, it's like, there's just one place. It's our penis and it's along the shaft and that's it. If we, I don't know.

For some guys, it's between the helmet. Nipples. Other guys, it's balls. You know, areas of enjoyment. Other guys, it's the gooch bit between the arsehole and the balls. Do you want your nipples free? Bum holes. Bum holes.

Oh, my God. Don't get me started on that shit. And also the whole thing of like, if I licked you behind your ear, you might enjoy that. Oh, I have enjoyed that. Exactly. So you've got plenty of stuff going on. You know, you know, it's a straightforward thing. I think, I think, I think we've probably got a bit that. Oh, I have enjoyed that. Exactly. So you've got plenty of stuff going on. You know, you're just a straightforward thing.

I think we've probably got a bit more, maybe. Yeah, women have got a few more things going on. Well, clearly you need to learn because if you're women, you would know. But also remember,

each woman is so different. That is true. We're so different. I mean, the things that turn myself and Rubina on are completely different. Different paths. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, we're going to start with a quick icebreaker, which seems ridiculous because I feel like the ice is well and truly broken. We are swimming underneath the ice at the moment, but we're here. We're drowning.

We're drowning in ice. Drowning. Icy, cummy ice. In white ice. Walls of ice. Anyway, this is a quickfire round, I guess you could call it, which we are calling... What are we calling?

This is what men want. Oh God. Oh God. Okay. Quick fire. Alternate questions. How many times a day do you think about sex?

Sean, you go first. Four. More than four. Definitely about eight. Okay. Now real answers. Real answer.

Real answer. Real answer. This is more now real answers. Real answer. Real answer. Real answer. This is more, I think... Eight is your final answer? I mean, I wake up thinking about it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, one.

And then if I see a pretty girl, I think about it straight away. Two. So you probably see, what, four pretty girls by the time you get from your home to the tube? Definitely. So that's five. Keep going.

And then if I'm on Instagram or social media and I see something... So that's five. Now going. And then if I'm on Instagram or like social media and I see something. So that's five. Now we're up 16 to 24. Got it. I feel like the teacher's telling me. So there you go. Low the shit down. Four.

He's up 16 plus. What about you? I'm very specifically four. It's around four. It's the morning. As soon as you're up. He's got an alarm. And now it's time.

So I wake up usually with a hard on. Yeah. That's when I'm like, oh, sex soon as you're up. He's got an alarm. And now it's time. So I wake up, usually with a hard on. Yeah. That's when I'm like, oh, sex would be nice. And around the times I'm hungry. Interesting. So you're hungry four times a day. That makes sense. It seems like more.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner. But yeah. Do you know what? People do say people who like food are good in bed. Hello. It's true. It is true. Because I cook as well, right? Yeah. So cooking is an art. It is true. Because I cook as well, right?

So cooking is an art. Sex is an art. You've got to take your time. You've got to make it look good. It's sensual. Yeah, it's a very sensual thing. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, so usually when I think I'm horny,

I just need a sandwich. But what about the times when you need a sandwich but you actually need sex? They kick me out of prep. It is not right. It is. You should not be doing that. Anyway, this is supposed to be a quick fire round.

Sorry, I was just going too deep down. How many times do you anchor day? Junaid, we'll go to you and give me the real answer. Do you know what's crazy? No one's ever asked me that before in my life. Welcome to Brown Girls Do It Too. No one's ever asked you that before in your life. What about when you were a teenager and everyone was doing it?

Everyone was like, how many times are you doing it? How many times can you do it? I don't think boys would talk about that stuff. No, no, no, no. What do you talk about? Fucking Star Wars, mate, and cars. Football? Football, yeah.

Kelly Brook, or however old he is. Kelly Brook? Yes. Sorry, are we in the 90s? Okay, not Kelly Brook then. Someone younger, but you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so... yes how old are you are we in the 90s 31 okay not Kelly Brook then someone younger but you know what I mean yeah

okay so so how many he's too old for you yeah really yeah that breaks my heart

sorry probably about twice twice I'd say twice a day twice a day in the morning in the evening

yeah in the morning in the evening but if I'm like not working and I've oh yeah you've got to ask these freelancers

what they do man yeah it depends on the yeah what's a freelance freelance okay full time job

is twice a day freelance life what's that saying but like seven seven eight yeah like yeah I mean

not all the time though like I'm working a lot guys so it's like you know what I mean but when I hey hey hey there's no judgment here no if you want to rank eight times lot, guys. So it's like, you know what I mean? Hey, hey, hey. There's no judgment here. No.

If you want to rank eight times, you rank eight times. But it's so good. I've definitely done it eight times in a day. Like, for sure. And I've definitely done it, come, and then been like, I could go again straight away.

And that's, sometimes I'm like, that's gross. I've just spent quite a lot of my day masturbating. But it's fascinating us hearing that from two men, right? Like, how many times do you wank a day? Well, it also depends on location. So if I'm at home, maybe three is the average. If I'm in a hotel by myself, I'm like feet up on the wall. It's going to be mad shit.

And it's like, I'm not going to get this opportunity again. I think my record is 13. Wow. Touch, bro. Yeah. That's like one every two hours. Yeah. Pretty much.

Plus one. I love how you're like Asian statistic. I did the wanking rap. You did the wanking rap maths. I did the wanking rap maths. It was, yeah. But on average, I'd say it's about three or four. I've had two today.

Okay. Good. Two already. That's good. But it was like, so basically I hadn't, because I'm on tour at the moment, I hadn't had a wank for about two weeks. Oh, so you saved it up. Really? That is a long time.

I managed to knock out two back to back. Wow. I know this is a quick fire round that isn't so quick fire, but very quickly, if men don't knock out, if it's days, do you guys go crazy?

Yeah, does it wrap it up? Yeah, definitely. I'd say I did this thing called NoFap, which do you guys know about NoFap? No, no. Where you don't cum for like a certain amount of weeks, months. Wow. But you don't masturbate.

It's like a kind of... Yeah, you don't masturbate. But you don't masturbate, you don't have sex either. You don't have sex either. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you don't cum. So you go teetotal. Literally.

But it's kind of like fasting. It's like fasting, which I just, yeah. Which you also just did. Just did, yeah. And like, yeah, it makes you... Marshalla, brother. it makes you I feel like I feel like it made me more productive and I was more on it and I felt like I feel like I don't know about you but if you've ever done it but I felt like I got more girls it's weird like

so hot you're like not touching yourself I got more interest from girls I don't know I think it's more because I was more confident have you seen 40 days and 40 nights right where ashton kutcher like doesn't have sex or touch himself for 40 days and 40 nights no wanking nothing in that 40 day period which i'm sure that whole film is based on ramadan but whatever uh he also says like that was when all the women came to him or that was in the film like all the women start coming to him and he can't stop thinking about it like i think about sex i think more regularly than the average woman and i think stuff that like instigates sex in my head is also just like being on the bus or like rubbing up against a pole on the bus and you know i was not sweating in that pole you're like surprising stuff where you're

like sex just enters your mind without you thinking about it i don't feel like i'm in control of my sexual thoughts they come in at really inappropriate times yeah um why am i saying this i don't know you can you know know, it's not obvious though. That's a good thing about us. That's fascinating that women are boners. Yeah, yeah. Ours are way more discreet. Our boners are

hidden. They have a hood. They're boners in a hoodie. Let's just go very quickly now. Quick fire, quick fire, quick fire, quick fire. We're now just going to do

quick fire. Okay, pegging. Yay or nay for pegging? Have done, yes yes do you crave love not anymore oh I do yeah

yeah you're totally going to fuck him I feel like I could be fucking my brother it might be too much what's your weirdest turn on sorry I don't know why I'm pointing there why are you pointing oh my weirdest turn on

is a very good question my weirdest turn on you don, I don't know why I'm pointing there. Oh, my weirdest turn on? It's a very good question. My weirdest turn on? You don't have to say if you don't want to. It's not quite BO. But it's BO. But it's in there. Yeah. You know when you really

fancy someone when you smell them and you're like, I still want you. See what it is? It's the forehead bit. There's a smell of the top of the forehead oh wow I did not know that it's something about that I don't know

I have a fringe that's quite clammy up there I don't know let me sniff it the weirdest turn on for you I don't know if it's weird but like I like the smell

of girls hair okay yeah okay as in like shampooed hair as in like yeah yeah or like greasy no wash for a girls hair okay yeah as in like shampooed hair yeah yeah or like greasy no no wash for a week i mean i don't mind if you mix with gel phrasing mixed with regret and despair mixed with dry shampoo

is basically what my hair smells like do you enjoy do you enjoy cunnilingus giving cunnilingus is that something that you enjoy it's you enjoy cunnilingus? Giving cunnilingus? Is that something that you enjoy? It's my absolute favourite. Amazing. I love it. So you love going down? You love going down?

Yeah, and being sat on my face like, I was fixing the shit out of me. I love it. Really? Really? Too much. Sick.

Ladies, you heard it here first. What about you? Yeah, I love it. I was going to lie because there's only one answer for that. No, no. I sing about it in songs. And the crazy thing is, right, a lot of my friends...

Do the high notes. No, I literally... Do the high notes. Oh, my God. No, I like to... That was good. That was very good. But yeah, I love... Yeah, I sing about it was very good but yeah I love

yeah I think about it but a lot of my friends don't like doing it you know and they've got a term called you're a bokeh and it's like when you go down on a girl and you're like

oh you're a bokeh oh how can you do that oh as in like you like it's a derogatory term yeah it's like a yeah basically so you know a lot of guys

who don't like doing that that's interesting yeah like my friends they yeah but yeah they accept expect to get blow jobs basically yeah i think it's absolutely amazing i can't say the c word anymore because my producer told me not to but they are yeah they are cunnilingus because if we like to get hit then you want to give it back you know what i mean pleasure though how do you play that like do you

feel like you should always go down on a girl first or would you prefer, like, for you to go, like, do you go down on them and then, what's the order? Yeah, I usually go down. First, yeah. Yeah. You will get way more pussy if you go down. Yeah, yeah. They're probably still getting girls, aren't they?

Yeah, yeah. It's pretty frustrating because I think so much of porn is just they meet, clothes off, blowjob, and then he's putting it in her. And I'm like, no one's juiced her up. Or he does a cursory lick. Oh, yeah. I've seen porn where, like, she'll be like,

she'll be like, block, block 3,000 for five, six, seven minutes, right? Just crying tears for seven minutes. She takes it off, he turns it up, he gives it her, and then sticks it straight in. Oh, my God. Even then sticks it straight in. It's going on here.

I actually don't. Even I'm like frustrated. Do you know what? I've really, I've talked about this before on the podcast about the ratio of like the video and the job. Yeah. It's like you watch a video.

If you log into porn and you're like, I'm really excited. What can it be? And it's like, it's seven minutes of blowjob and they have the towel, you know, you're skipping.

You're like, shit, she's still going. I've never caught that that's crazy even for me I'm like I don't like watching

blowjobs that much on porn I don't think it's particularly sexy because it doesn't do anything for me it doesn't do anything for me at all

so like I've noticed it watching a guy go down on a girl in porn I'm like that's hot I'm into that

it's not long enough I can't believe it's not long enough but you're right the cursory lick thing it's always a cursory lick being like done now let Yeah. But you're right. The cursory lick thing. It's always a cursory lick being like done now, let's go.

Yeah. Come on, man. Her jaw's still aching. I'm really fascinated by what you said because I suppose the company I keep

and the friends I'm with, even my male friends, like they know in the kind of woke era where we're all sort of sexually aware that you need and should go down

on a woman. But the fact that of course there are men who are like go down on a woman but the fact that of course there are men who are like you're a bo-cat it's derogatory like why the fuck

are you doing I'm like wow who are these people I also wonder if it's a bit like if it's a bit more complicated and this is where

I probably do give men a little bit of the benefit of doubt for me growing up I didn't really know no one taught me how to give a blowjob right that never was

sex education that never happened you're not going to get that in between chemistry biology no but i vaguely knew if you're giving a blowjob it's i'm not blowing anything that's a fucking red herring that one guys red herring but you know like you know that you're just kind of sucking something and like making it feel good rubbing up and down quite straightforward i think a vulva is a much more complicated thing yeah it is and also your tongue so my tongue on a dick is just like on the penis around the penis a vulva is a much more complicated thing. Yeah, it is, yeah. And also your tongue. So my tongue on a dick is just like on the penis, around the penis. A vulva, there's many other sections and folds and areas.

I completely... You know, someone could be like licking the bit between your vulva and your leg and think they're going inside you. They're not there. Babe, they're not even going down to begin with. Number one, if you get on a woman, overall it's a much more pleasurable sexual experience because she's so much more aroused your sex is going to be better that's the first thing yeah and you're

providing natural lube yes exactly and the second thing is i think for a lot of men certainly the men that i've spoken to making women come is very hard yeah fucking ages right so when you're down there doing and you're like i can't go for a long time you might lose your boner yeah so then what will happen is you'll be like now i don't want to now i've lost mine we're gonna have to go back to square one again just not not in defense of it but you've got to start with emotions again yeah and then you've got to go right we're gonna go back to square one so that's probably why this is because they're fucking impatient dicks and they can't be asked but that's the problem of how we see sex right

because everyone sees sex as like a spring to come but we need to get that and actually sex can be a myriad of loads of wonderful things like intimacy can just be like

all these complicated things you can do with strangers and people that you love I've had sex to the point of not coming and it's been great before I don't know if anybody else

have you had that? yeah I have definitely yeah it's not all about just coming like you can actually just do oral and like

you know prolong that as long as you can yeah exactly some of my best sex is someone like edging me like getting me

like to the point but never like getting me there and I'm like this is so frustrating but I love it I love it and actually

I never want to come edging I love getting edged in the car in the car that's happening has that happened to you with you. I want to like edging. I love getting edged in the car. In the car? That's happened. Has that happened to you?

In the car? Yeah. Well, like driving the car. As in, well, they're driving and you're giving them blowjobs. Well, not that, but just like edging me away. Yeah. Being like, when we get home,

this is a go. Oh, I see. You're not just going to blowjob. Oh, yeah, I'm watching this series at the moment called Blue Lights. I don't know if any of you are watching it. It's about like, it's about Belfast

and police I mean I'm making it sound dark where is this going anyway they're both police officers and they work in the same building

and they just have like a casual like work relationship where they're like oh yeah they're filing the paperwork but they live together

and their relationship and occasionally will be like I'm gonna destroy you when you get home oh no it's so hot because it's like

they just work together but he's just like you know he just like throws these little lines at her. I'm like, oh my God. And I'm watching it with my partner and I'm like, that's amazing. Basically, you want him to text you. I said to my partner, I was like, man, I wish you worked at my job in reception and I could see your face every day.

How hot would that be? That's hot. Yeah. And we're going to end on our final question in our not so quick fire round. Can you tell the difference? The slowest quick fire round. Can you tell when a girl's contour isn't blended properly?

I can. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I can. Would you say anything? Yes. No, I wouldn't. No, I don't think you should. You say it to your sister.

I would say it to my sister, yeah. Say it to your like, you say it to me if my contour was, like, good mates, yeah. Yeah, maybe. I mean, I might say, oh, I bet the pictures look good. Don't say that. Don't say that.

That's like letting them know about that canon and ashley, yeah. You look good on Instagram. Whatever you're looking for, we've got sounds for that. Need a pick-me-up in the afternoon? Forget the coffee, join me and Jordan instead. You know it, Vic,

just pour us into your ears. Oh, weird. Or you could just dance your cares away with my mix of non-stop feel-good tunes. Sophia and Aspecta's Kitchen Disco. Or, if you want to change your pace, try out Six Degrees from Jamie and Spencer. Jamie can even be quite funny occasionally.

A bit rude, but I can. Music, radio, podcast. Listen on BBC Sounds. Jamie and Spencer Jamie can even be quite funny occasionally a bit rude but I can music radio podcasts listen on BBC Sounds what's the weirdest compliment

you've ever got after sex um I mean that was good I guess like kind of like

they didn't expect it like yeah I'm sorry that was good I guess or that was good no that was good I guess like kind of like they didn't expect it like yeah I'm sorry that was good I guess or that was good no that was good that was good okay

because I guess changes that I guess yeah yeah yeah that was good but it's like oh you know sometimes you kind of

feel confident you're like yeah I know I'm good at it but then it's like when they say it it's like oh have you ever had somebody say to you

this has only happened to me once but afterwards they were like that was the best some of the best sex I've ever had and I was like

wasn't for me wow did you say that to them no i was just like cool yeah yeah yeah but i always think someone else's best sex isn't your best yeah of course yeah yeah yeah i i think the guy i had the best sex with i don't think i was his best sex right yeah in fact i kind of i think i know i think i. Oh, was it because of the emotions, Poppy? Sorry! No, actually, A, you're right, and B, it was actually amazing sex. Oh, was it? It was amazing sex.

Great, good. But you don't think that you were his best? I think, no, I don't think I was. Do you know what? I honestly had this theory that you never end up with the person that is your best sex. No, of course you don't. You're not meant to. No, no, no, no, guys. Oh, but her, yeah. I'm with the person that is your best sex no of course you're not meant to no no no guys oh but her

yeah I'm with the person who is literally yeah because I just thought you're not supposed to end up with the best sex of your life and when I started

seeing my partner I was like this is just sex the sex is so good this can't be anything else but sex now we have a child yeah

and now they have less sex that's what happens when you have sex but good sex still I don't know why at least you've got a good sex

you have a good sex yeah I mean after eight years it goes it has peaked I'm being an advocate at least you've got a good sex girl you're not saying it's good yeah I mean after eight years it kind of it has peaked so your best sex the best sex you've had with whoever you've had it with

you're still in contact with them are they friends do you see them where are they or are they to come no because you see

the person I had the best sex with it was also my most toxic relationship ditto and so you know it was I'm sorry you guys spudding is like literally watching two teenage boys but it's true it's true the most messed up like she cheated on me three times oh wow and that's what made it crazy because after one she was using you say again

she was using you well yeah and you know I was kind of like I'm going to win the game yeah like if you cheated on me challenge accepted

I am going to rise to the challenge and make sure and it was ballistic sex yeah it's ballistic it's fucking animal sex it was ridiculous and we're not in touch anymore thankfully

because it was was it kind of hate sex it feels a bit like yeah I mean I don't know I wouldn't call it hate we both had a point to prove yeah angry sex yeah because it was... Was it kind of hate sex? It feels a bit like... Yeah, I mean, I don't know, I wouldn't call it hate. We both had a point to prove. Yeah.

Angry sex. Yeah, because hers was, I've cheated on you and my sex is so good you're never going to leave me. Power. And my sex was, well, I'm going to prove to you

that whoever you're cheating on me with cannot do this to you. Do this, yeah. So we would... That's turning me on. It's getting weird. It was completely... It's making me think

you should get therapy It was It was complete fireworks Yeah it was complete fireworks and yeah so no we're not in touch anymore What about you Junaid?

Best sex? You still in touch? Not really Yeah I'm not in touch with her anymore She actually got married and she broke up with me and then I saw her

in TK Maxx with her husband like a long ago What did you do? I was hiding I was hiding I was like oh my god

you were hiding by the knockoff designer bags hey really I was like I don't want to see her she put me through hell can I ask about

a little bit about your music like who inspires some of the lyrics and for listeners you know talk about some of the music you make and where it comes from

because it's quite sexually explicit like some of your lyrics your videos I you know what like when I first signed my deal record deal back in 2010 and where it comes from? Because it's quite sexually explicit, like some of your lyrics, your videos. I, you know what? Like when I first signed my deal, record deal back in 2010,

I was just like working on R&B, pop and just kind of like not thinking about the writing process of it. And then I actually broke up with my ex-girlfriend at the time. The TK Maxx one? No, it's a different one. No different one. Yeah.

And I wrote a song called In and Out and it was really like in and out in and out yeah literally and the lyrics were so basic like i wasn't far away from i was like writing lyrics like um pull your hair back i'm gonna ride you like a horse like all these kind of like random things yeah and then that felt like visceral it was like yeah i just i was just writing what i felt at the time and then i played like visceral it was like yeah i was just writing what i felt at the time and then i played it to the label i'm not thinking they're gonna do anything with it but they were like right this is gonna be the next track you're gonna release and

i was like oh my god i'm a british bangladeshi i don't know if people gonna accept me for singing like this like i'm literally saying to her um you know let's we're gonna ride um you're gonna come like in the in the track literally i don't know if you heard it but screaming out to you what my baby like it's so crazy like so how have you been received like what's been the reaction to your music i think when i first dropped music like that i got so much hate really so much hate but sex sells everyone sings about sex all the time because i had i'm at the time, my fan base was, you know, very South Asian, a lot of Muslims. And they just didn't accept the fact there's a Muslim brown boy singing about sex.

So they can take it from white artists and black artists, but in Asian. Also, you know, famously, when you look at the relative Muslim population, they famously don't have sex. Yeah, I know, right? There's only two of them, right? I've got seven siblings but yeah um so yeah i got that hey but i think as time went on i just kind of stopped giving a shit and i was like i don't care i'm just gonna constantly just do me and i don't care about how they you know take my music in that sense if they if they because now what happens is when i do shows i get a lot of guys come up to me be like oh um i'll fuck my girl to your song in and out i'm like oh

okay do you think that's good and does that feel like a compliment to you i feel like yeah because yeah and like they felt confident to come up to me to say that and you're inspiring people to like kind of be their best sexual selves which you know everyone's hiding right everyone's hiding behind lots of things everyone wants to appear a certain way and you're just getting it all out there i don't give a shit like that must be such an amazing feeling i can't imagine anyone having sex with their girl to my routines can you imagine your because your work is really interesting to me when i was listening to it i was like this feels so raw it feels really like artistic and it feels like there are no like scent there's nothing censored it's really unfiltered which why is probably why you're on this podcast i think a lot of music currently is all about kind

of subtlety and like alluding to what might happen if i take you home if we do this but yours is just like straight in there straight in there it is out yeah yeah in out in out shake it all about people always call me like an exhibitionist turn around that's what it's all about ha ha okie dokie

I literally do that with my son honestly like when I heard about this podcast and I kind of like researched and I was like

wow what you guys are doing is amazing not licking your arses one I could be doing that but I'm just saying not honestly I'm just saying i wasn't i went through so many the last week just to like yeah and and yeah and it's like i never really hear our south asians uh women talk about sex the way you you

know i'm like you know what you've brought me nearly onto my next question do you know the way we talk about sex do Asian men talk about sex that openly with other Asian men because you can dispel some myths here

because in my head I'm like the kind of conversations you guys have with each other is like the locker room like you know I fucked her and she was on her fucking knees

but like do you have meaningful conversations about sex or is that no not meaningful conversations about sex

do you ever talk about consent within your male groups when you're like meaningful conversations about sex or is that no not meaningful conversations about sex no do you talk about consent within your male groups um when you're like i attacked someone last night and i'm not sure i wanted to but i did it anyway no no that's never come up that's never come up it has with me okay um because i think in part because the job I do, you know, comedy, we're out late, we're often drinking. And sometimes there'll be instances where with my comedian friends, I've had conversations. But I think comedy tends to, they tend to be a bit more aware of these kind of things anyway. But in terms of my Asian group of friends or the lads I grew up with, I mean, those conversations. I can't imagine.

What was it like growing up and learning about sex? What were your first discoveries of knowing about growing up and learning about sex and how did you what were your first discoveries of like knowing about masturbating learning about your body any of those first initial conversations

and did your parents ever give you any indication of what sex was do you want to go yeah I'm happy I'm like my my mum was

comparatively fairly open about sex like she'd she'd found my tissues and she'd she'd found my tissues and she'd caught

like some socks I didn't use socks you didn't use socks because actually if I used socks mum would have slapped the shit out of me

I've never understood I've never understood the sock thing so people come in socks because that's easy it's just a cleaner cleaner yeah

and then you can just wash it you put it in the wash machine but Asian mums they'd be more they'd be more they'd be more pissed off about a sock I can't go to my mum can we do colours

whites and cum we can't have three different wash cycles oh that'd be so inconvenient for your mum yeah so that was it oh yeah I

yeah so my mum my mum was fairly my dad not so much but we knew I also like bought dad off my I bought porn off my dad's bank card on Sky. Basically, it was a Television X, Y, Z freebie. Oh, wow.

I remember those days. Man's going to upgrade. Bay Station, XXX. Man's going to buy two videos. Yeah, yeah. You got a freebie up until midnight or something. And then at midnight, it was like, it's not paying. Yeah, I used to watch it with my cousin.

Right. So then I bought two films I bought Virgins of Sherwood Forest 2 and Anal Passions and Anal Passions 4 and General Anal Passions 4

what happened in 1, 2 and 3 man loves a sequel and then I basically like I caught because they were like full discretion assured

over it so I covered my mouth being like yes I did like Home Alone with Charlie Culkin. Basically, I just went,

yes, you assuredly they'll be told this question. Then the bill came a month later and it printed off the actual name

of his fucking bill. Oh my God. My mum was like, what's this? And I was like, I don't know. Anal Passions 4 came up on the bill.

Yes. How do you talk about, what do you say? Did you obviously blame his dad? Yeah, so my mum would watch this and I'm going to ask dad

and my dad was like but the means got that left the house just screaming so and then my mum walked in

because basically I had like a massive I had like a 40 inch telly in my room once and I've worked out I could like

mirror my laptop screen onto the oh end game man wants to watch full HD full HD porn yeah yeah yeah

but your mum walks in it's just a lot of pixels to kind of the TV in the bedroom I feel like is an Asian thing my white friends

did not grow up with a TV in their bedroom you know like I had a TV in my bedroom too and that was like normal I was like you had a TV in your bedroom and that And that was like normal. I was like, I had a TV in my bedroom. You had a TV in your bedroom and that was fine. I was like, that is so dangerous.

I remember watching like Eurotrash and then waiting if I could hear someone. So I had to like watch it in really low volume. So I had to keep alert just in case anyone was coming up the stairs. So most TV I watched that was naughty was with a remote in between my legs being like, I'm trying to journal. I used to watch mainly American porn dubbed in German

on a channel called RTL2 RTL right I feel like I'm 13 again that is so weird they used to show American porn dubbed in German right and I had like my remote in my hand

to be able to change the source into BBC2 or whatever. Yeah, yeah. But when I first started having sex, my expectation of what a woman sounded like... Was German. Was German. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, that's so good.

Yeah, yeah. Dubbed. So her mouth is doing something else, but the sound is oh I love it it took me a long time to learn this nine nine

nine never heard that I never watched that kind of thing it was normally yeah yeah yeah so my parents unfortunately had to have

have ended up having a long time my life and my childhood is just mirrored through like the same thing the television X

stuff happened to my cousins because I had older cousins and they would like we'd have sleepovers with all my cousins then one of my cousins when everyone's asleep we're like let's watch this shit yeah so i'd be like oh what is this then i'd be like wait what is this should we be watching this together yeah but that's like i've never collectively watched pornography with anyone but my cousins which is weird right i never watched any kind of porn with my cousins did you watch anything do you watch you with the male cousins i think yeah once i did yeah but yeah no we didn't do it after that was just like i don't know it's just a bit weird i feel like you gotta watch it

but there's such an innocence of discovery right because listen i'm not i wasn't like taking i wasn't watching porn as a child being like this is something intentional I'm doing to like get myself up I was like this is amazing this is like naked people having a really good time and I'm so young the innocence of my experience is just to be like this is cool it's making me feel good that's what I was thinking um do you ever feel shame around sex talking about it or enjoying it uh me nah I don't I definitely we lucky for you, this is a one-off and Bram goes, do it too. Needs to keep going.

And we need to have more when I'm joking. No, sorry. No, you don't. Yeah, I don't. I definitely don't. But did you feel any shame growing up? Like, where did you get to the point where you were, like, okay with talking about it?

I mean, it's always like... Why did you run to your room and masturbate rather than just, you know, be like, I'm going to my one-out? Well, because he's got some decorum. He's not going to do that. No, I'm not going to do that. But have you ever felt shame?

Is it something that's ever? The only time, I mean, with my songs, I have a lot of sex songs, right? So my family do not acknowledge them songs. Like they talk about every single one of the songs that I have. And even when I'm performing, I'll sometimes perform in and out of it. And they'll walk away. And they won't even like literally, yeah, they of it and they'll walk away and they won't even like literally

yeah they won't acknowledge it nothing so they won't talk to you about it no but it's amazing that you have the privilege to do that

like I couldn't even I mean my family don't know my parents don't know how to do this podcast but even if I was an R&B artist talking about sex it would not

it would not even and I think what is so and thank you for being honest is that I loved your honesty, I guess, but like, I suppose it's the odd,

like you're just like, no, no shame. Whereas every woman, not every woman, most women we talk to some of the, a lot of the conversations we have, it's like shame,

taboo, stigma, you know, kind of like getting rid of all that baggage. So it's, I mean, I still feel shame. I think we both still feel shame about lots of the things that we do.

And we, especially with this podcast, we take it quite far and then we listen to it and we're like... We took it far today. Yeah, I'm a little bit embarrassed about that. But almost confronting that bit of yourself,

which is still part of you. You talk about being uncomfortable with it. Yeah. Sitting in the uncomfortable truth about our sex lives. And it's okay to be uncomfortable with yourself sometimes when you're trying to figure that out.

What about you? Have you felt... I generally don't feel shame. I mean, I wouldn't talk so openly about sex in front of my dad. And I just think that's just... Neither would we. We're still self-aging. If my dad asked about this podcast,

like, dad, it's a physics podcast. Calm the fuck down. And also, sometimes that's a disservice to Asians, I think, sometimes to say that we're the ones who are shameful about it. White people aren't doing it. Yeah, I've had... The black community aren't doing it.

We're very middle class and white who would never dream of going anywhere with their their with their family so in that regard no um in terms of talking about sex i basically feel zero shame at all but i the moments of shame i do feel tend to be in the moments of sex or around sex uh because and you know there's body image issues there's sexual performance issues there's expectations around size and all this. And in those moments, yeah, I can feel myself feeling like, there'll be moments where I just can't get it up. And you feel a sense of shame that you carry with you in public,

even though you had a moment with whoever you're with at the time. But generally speaking, and Poppy knows this, I'm a very shameless person. You are. and I love it I got offered a threesome last week oh wow and? I had to get home

do you know two things I had to get the last two sucks I've got a dog so I need to get back to the dog oh man and two

I hadn't groomed oh oh you I thought it was just women who do this like, man. And two, I hadn't groomed. Oh. Oh, you... I thought it was just women who do this. Like a trim the pubes situation. I thought it was just women, but I didn't know... You can't make it look bigger,

haven't you? No, I had it groomed, yeah, so I was a bit like... Oh, really? I would never let that stop me. Oh. Oh. Bush, everything.

Yeah. I love a bush. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you feel confident in your bush, great. Yeah, great, but yeah. It's the point where you feel okay with it. Yeah, just like listen i'm gonna have to do some well this i was gonna say the way men get ready for dates and the way women get ready for dates it's a whole other two separate things so usually this is where we play the shaggy auntie stringle but a lovely

listener has sent in a more serious dilemma and we wanted to discuss this with you guys our guests um hey poppy and robina i absolutely love your podcast my question is on guilt do you guys ever feel guilty about having to hide such significant portions of your lives from your parents and family how do you deal with these feelings i'm currently in my first ever relationship and i absolutely love him but every time we see each other i'm wracked with the leftover muslim guilt plus the lying to my family in brackets who i live with guilt how do i deal with the fact that my relationship which makes me feel so good and so happy also makes me feel terrible at the same time how do i process these feelings that's really heavy yeah who wants to go first i feel like we've all been we've all been there we've all been there

I've been there I've definitely been there you've been there oh god yeah the guilt the double life you've been there no no no

you've got a great relationship with your family that's great listen I'm thinking about situations of like friends and girl mates of mine that have been there

and I was just like thinking about that and I know it's not easy it's not easy I almost feel like I want to say to this listener like it's leading a double life

is a rite of passage I'm in my late 30s and I'm still doing it I think all South Asians all South Asians and the difference is that your double life just gets hopefully

you just need hope by the time you get to your 40s you know what I mean your alter ego and your your persona that you showed to your family and your community gets smaller and smaller and I that you showed to your family and your community

gets smaller and smaller and and i don't know how old this person is but like i felt i felt all the things they felt the guilt in the like being unhappy lying you you actually kept your long-term relationship a secret from your parents yeah they never they don't know and is that something you would advise somebody to continue doing? No, no. So my next relationship, it really, I think it really psychologically destroyed me a bit.

And so my next relationship going forward, of course, I'm going to like hide it for a year or two, make sure it's fucking legit. You know what I mean? You should tell the South Asian parents, I've got a boyfriend, they're like, get married tomorrow. It's like, no.

So, but absolutely the prerequisite from the lessons I've learned is my next partner will meet my family and I will not keep them hidden yeah and I think one of the biggest things I say about guilt is I think it's okay to sit in guilt like it's okay to be multi-layered and sometimes hate yourself and sometimes feel guilty we all feel guilty about everything and when you grow up in a family in a South Asian family that's quite tight your identity is wrapped up in there. You want to impress them. You always want to impress them.

That will never leave you. I think it's OK to just feel a bit complicated about it. And when you're ready to talk to them about it, you need to be ready for that. I don't think anyone else can advise you otherwise. And I will also say that guilt, you know, on the whole, is your inner desire to accept what your family want from you being at odds with what feels nice to you you didn't necessarily choose this out of spite whatever the relationship is you ended up in a situation that suddenly challenging those that paradigm that you've set but at the same token for all south asian people i think a moment comes where you have to be able to confront that yes totally

with the people that are most important to you to say listen the reason i feel guilt is because i love you and i don't want to hurt you but i also want you to love me and understand that i don't want to be hurt by you either and those conversations are very difficult very challenging lord knows that i've been through them yeah We've all been through them. But as Poppy alluded to, as more and more relationships become more interracial, as we further ourselves as a community,

and I'm talking about the wider South Asian community, these conversations become easier because I think our parents and our grandparents become more au fait with the idea that they're in the UK. They say tell a hamlet in 996, bro. Yeah, yeah.

So, patience. Patience and time. Patience, time, and your intentions are good. The fact that you're feeling guilt to me suggests you love the people that you're worried about. And you don't hurt them.

Yeah. But don't hurt yourself with the making of that. I think it's really difficult when you're trying to be your authentic self and you feel like your family aren't on board with that. But that's okay. I feel like it's fine to sit in the conflicts of that with your family. If you're like, but this is who I am and you don't accept me. I think that's okay.

Absolutely. Not everything has to be perfect all the time. It can't be. And I don't have the tools. And if it makes you come he makes you come that's it stick with him honey this has been

Brown Girls Do It Too with two brown boys in the studio thank you so much brown boys do it too brown boys do it too

do it too eight times and four times but you got it out of me. It was actually more than that. Every time I see a pretty girl, so like 55,000 times. Yeah.

It's so easy for boys as well. Like you've clocked how many on the tube, the bus, in prayer. I mean. Yeah. If you have any thoughts, questions or dilemmas for the Shaggy Arties, you can email us at browngirlsdoit2

at bbc.co.uk or you can send us a whatsapp or a voice note on 07968 100 822 that's 07968 100 822 the everyday hustle on asian Network with Sonia Barlow. It's a show to help you get started, get ahead and get rich. Whether you've already got your own business or you need some help to get started. But it's not my stories. I want to hear from other entrepreneurs, other hustlers. What did they do? How did they begin? What did they get wrong? And most importantly, what do they want to share?

The Everyday Hustle on Asian Network with Sonia Barlow. Listen now on the BBC Sounds app.