Brown Girls Do It Too - I'm a *****, I'm a Lover, I'm a 5th Century Maid

Episode Date: September 30, 2022

Poppy and Rubina discuss positions, expectations and role play

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You should turn back now Should turn back now There's plenty of other podcasts On BBC Sounds Now here's the story from A to Z Gotta get with me, gotta listen carefully Gotta M, A, B, C, like it or not BBC Sounds. Now here's the story from A to Z. Gotta get with me, gotta listen, get with me. Got an M in the place of like, you know, you make it better.

You don't see it like it. Easy, easy, don't come for me. She's a real lady. We're not. We're not. She's not a real lady. Brown girls do it too. Hello.

I'm Robina and my favourite position is the wheelbarrow. You like the wheelbarrow? I never knew that about you. How does that work? It's kind of like I'm the barrow, you're the barrow. That makes sense. I'm getting the barrow and he's wheeling me. Yeah, and your legs are the handle.

I've never tried that position. I'm Poppy and my favourite position is the choke hold. That sounds like a wrestling move. WWF, Hulk Hogan here. Wild, wild. It's a new thing I'm into right now. So somebody chokes you while shagging? While I'm about to come, just before coming.

Really? So that's a mission. Usually that's a mission. It doesn't matter what position, as long as the hands are around the neck. Yeah. Could be doggy, but around the neck. Right. Yeah. And where are your hands?

Are you choking back or not choking back? No. One of you's got to be choking. What if you both pass out? Exactly. And you're fucked in each other. Ambulance fires you. It's a terrible way to die.

That's what your parents would say. You think it's good. If you died of orgasm... Your mum and dad will find out that you fucking died like that. But you won't be around to deal with the consequences of that.

Yeah, but they will. Yeah. But on your headstone it would say she had a good life, she had a good time. Death by chokehold. So, today's episode

is all about positions. But instead of asking whether you prefer to fly like an eagle, wag like a dog or yee-haw like a cowgirl, we're taking a more flexible approach. Fly like an eagle, it's the spirit running free. Is that seal? Yeah, I think it could be seal.

That should be a new position, the seal. Oh, oh, oh. What is wrong with us today? It's your hat. I think it's the hat. It's doing like... Give me like new energy. It's like a new Rubina personality. You're already up there

and it's like, it's a bit skew-iff and I'm like, who is she? I like her energy. I don't know who this Rubina is. I've gone for shiny, trashy because your jacket is bin bag

and so today we're both shiny. This is my bin bag jacket. But then you're... I'm wearing a bucket hat. You are. It's not a very me hat. I found it in a charity shop. You look great in it.

I found it in a charity shop for a pound. And I really like French cinema. And this is kind of like embodying... Okay, I love our references. The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, if anyone's seen that film. The Caraplee. Cherbourg is what I was going for here. Or singing in the rain.

We're going to delve into the different positions we all assume. From mother to lover, from workplace dom to exhausted sub. How do we feel about the labels we wear? And do we fantasise about taking them off? Oh my God, I love a bit of... I mean, you know, I'm really getting into role play, but I do lazy role play.

And if the guy I'm seeing is going to be listening to this, what I need to do is I need to invest in pieces. Start off basic, sexy secretary, lab coat, stethoscope, do all that shit. Actually glasses. Oh, you're going to go for it? You're going to do it? Yeah, I mean, we've got butt plugs and ropes,

but in terms of role play, you need, imagine like actually donning a sari and then like, oh, taking off. We need to do it. Taking it quite seriously. Right now,

he's amazing at talking filth. So he just talks filth in my ear and I just can't, like it's insane. Oh, wow, yeah. And our fantasies are very problematic that we can only, him and I can have access to.

So you need to add like more costume. You need to add costume. You need costume drama. Interesting, yeah. Yeah, my fantasies are mainly like if I wake up and haven't put

my contact lenses in I'm like, oh, I'm a bit blind. I can't really, I can't really see. So he's fucking a pretend blind girl. I don't know.

No, no, no. I'm like, I'm blind. I don't know why this sounds so bad. But you see, like, all my other senses are heightened. My vagina and my clit is like... So all of the other senses are heightened, but also can't really see you, so you can be anyone.

Oh, OK. Stranger sex. So that's like a role play, but like a physical, I can't see you, so anything can happen. Obviously, I know you've been with your partner, but when do do you bust out role play would you do it first date 10th date 5th date good question I think it's got to come early it's got to be stuff that you're if you're into it you should like lay your cards down pretty early right like I like to be this in the bedroom I like to you know yeah but I think I think like I know this particular app has got a lot of air time but an app like field which is an app where people discuss openly

their sexual preferences, and that's the whole point of it. I like this, I like kink, I like foreplay, I like... I mean, there are acronyms I don't even know what they stand for. Yeah. So you would go into the first date doing that. No, I think... But if it's a run-of-the-mill hinge date or Tinder, I wouldn't be busting out Fifth Century Maid.

Absolutely not. No, no. And now it's a bit i'm not saying we're famous but another thing i've got to contend with god it sounds ridiculous now that we have a quote-unquote public profile yeah you have to be kind of careful about all the shit you do now why because you don't want people you don't people might not shag you because they're worried that you can talk about them on the podcast no they might shame me and embarrass me and cancel me be like she's these really, really problematic fantasies.

But at least then you're weeding out the people that are like a bit crap in bed. But I've already lost my job, can't pay my rent. Oh God, you really future thought this. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine. No, it's fine, isn't it? Yeah, we're like legit people. Yeah, until they find out what my fantasies are and then I'm fucked.

I think it's okay to have fantasies that are problematic. We're problematic people. Exactly. Not everyone listening to this podcast is some perfect angel whose only fantasies are like, I'm the librarian. Some of us have really dark shit that we want to do sometimes, and that's okay because that's part of us. I did this documentary about cam girls, right?

And it was so fascinating what they said. They said that they have clients, customers, who want them to pretend that they're young girls, and they do it. So their argument, sorry, their justification was that these men would go out and then have thoughts my act on them so that's why i ever since i had the really intelligent conversation with these women about what they do and some of the problematic stuff

they do in the realm of fantasy i'm like i i i i see i see such a healthy need to have roleplay, problematic or not, especially the problematic ones, in the roleplay section because you could act out on it. You are just fulfilling, you know, you're playing out something that you hopefully won't manifest in real life. But then the flip side of that is you might think, actually, I now need the next big kick. And so now I need, I don't know, it need I don't know it's a very I don't

think I don't think I personally have any role play that I'm like worried about but I have been in a relationship for a long time so for us it's very much like blind girl or it's like you know when you're in a relationship and you've been with someone for a long time sex becomes really like we've got the time we've got to do it now or we like it's fun like we had fun I had sex yesterday it was really great actually that's why I was had fun. I had sex yesterday. It was really great, actually. That's why I was kind of feeling myself coming in today because I was like, I'm still having sex. This is great.

I think it's fine. Feeling myself. And I was thinking about all the things that we say to each other, which is this pre-sex chat, which is like, I'm going to take a nap now, which is code for... Exactly. Come on, come on.

Yeah, because you just have to tell each other, like, come on, we've got to do it. You need co-workers. When I'm wanking, do you wank to porn? Sometimes. I wank to my imagination, so that's where I go, I run amok. But when I'm in role-play mode,

I'm absolutely relying on the other person to give me the material. Oh, right. And all I do, you know what my role is? Yeah, yeah. Oh, right, so they're like daddy talking, they're like, Poppy, you're my talking they're like poppy you're my daddy little secretary all i'm doing is saying yeah they're like you need to today we had role

played this morning i completely unrelated to our podcast recording today and i i'll give you some top lines um sex slave cage oh yeah and so all i was he was providing all the the narrative you were the editorial I was always I'm always a sub and he was providing all the detail and I was imagining it and then just saying yeah periodically that's what I do I'm so shit you're quite lazy I'm quite lazy but like I'm also like I'm expending all my energy on like other aspects of my life would there be any role play in your life that you would say no I'm not gonna do that that's too far oh yeah yeah yeah yeah so when i was speaking to these cam girls some of these clients are like can you pretend to be my mom or my sister so it's incest incest so i agree since you've already done it

i mean you did have sex with your cousin so that's done been there done that it's like not really interesting it's not really my thing doesn't really get me off. Went for it. Wasn't really your thing. Moved on. I do have lines. Yeah. There was a moment with my ex-partner. I sort of like

had this conversation and went into the bedroom and I was like, do you want me to be your mum? He was like, no. And I was like, good. Just walked back out again. But again,

they had a really, really good conversation with these ladies. It's like they asked me for things that they would never, they could never ask their wife. And I would like to think that the person I'm having sex with could ask me these things. But a really, really good conversation with these ladies. Like, they asked me for things that they could never ask their wife. And I would like to think that the person I'm having sex with could ask me these things.

But no, like, boundaries are... I'm not going to pretend to be a sibling or a relative. I'm not going to be your mum, which is the sibling-relative category. I'm not going to be young for you. Oh, like younger. Younger, yeah. Underage. Underage.

I have had some dodgy... What about dressing up as a unicorn? Yeah, I wouldn't mind dodgy what about dressing up as a unicorn yeah I wouldn't mind that yeah you dress as a unicorn but you see unicorn is a fantastical creature if they wanted to

dress me up as a horse we're now in bestiality and I can't do that oh I see it's a really fine line oh yeah I couldn't do horse there was a boy at school he used to call me horse face

and I would have some real PTSD from that yeah well have you seen a horse's dick it's gigantic right when it comes out

it's insane so those are my those are like they're very I'm just never going to come from them so there's no point what if somebody was like

I want to pretend I'm a horse a British colonial chief oh yeah I would have no problems with that and you are

you're made a Bangladeshi woman yeah who I'm coming to rape yeah I'd have no problem with that you'd have no problem with that I literally used the word rape yeah I'd have no problem with that You are a Bangladeshi woman who I'm coming to rape. Yeah, I'd have no problem with that. You'd have no problem with that. I literally used the word rape.

Yeah, I'd have no problem with that. Wow, okay. I like the idea of, I always fantasise about the idea of like meeting my partner somewhere neutral, like in a bar, and pretending we don't know each other. Never done that, but I think that sounds so hot, doesn't it? Just turning up and being like, all right. Our friend Roya, also co-host of Wrangles 2, worked on the

adult material. Do you remember that scene where she had to pretend to be kidnapped and forced to... Do you remember that scene? Because for her, as a porn actress, she needed it to be taken to that next level. Interesting. But I've realised I'm a words person.

So even if the actions don't follow, I can come with words. But I do need to up my game. I think I just find it really hard to maintain because even the idea of meeting my current partner in a pub and like playing out a real date, we will just end up talking about our kid and I'll be like, well, that's fucking killed my erection.

But I suppose you do that with strangers or people that you meet who are into that and it's a new thing. Because you just... But I was thinking about back in the day when I used to sleep around loads and like go to clubs and meet guys and i was thinking like what was that chat what was that chat that led me to like going to bed with them like what was all the in between from like meeting it no it's nothing is it a four vodkas chat it's like i'm wasted and you're fit yeah and it's kind of like that's that's the

subtext of everything else that was said yeah it's like i'm wasted you're fit i'm wasted you're fit yeah and it's kind of like that's that's the subtext of everything else that was said yeah it's like i'm wasted you're fit i'm wasted you're fit i'm wasted you're fit what time is it let's go home cab night bus yeah exactly oh no no i won't take anyone on a night bus if you're going for a shack you just gotta walk to your home if you're near the club yeah or get in a taxi get in a taxi yeah but you don't want to other like distractions of the night bus other people you need them to be focused in on you. Yeah, yeah, absolutely right. Especially if I was trying to sleep with you. Oh, yeah.

I feel like you're so easily distracted, I'd be like, I need her to focus completely on me. Yeah, you need to get me home. I'm really bad. I always transition between journeys. Well, you'll also be like, wait, should we go to this party

that's going to go on for ages? Then I'd be like, no, because you'll be too tired. Yeah, or I'd be like, let's get some chicken. Yeah, you'd delay the whole thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'd yeah yeah you just need you to get me there yeah the role plays that we have in our minds that we think that we fantasize about they

are gendered anyway you know you said fifth century maid oh you weren't saying fifth century warrior no you know I said horse I wasn't saying horse rider yeah oh my god you're so right women's roles we see women's roles as always being the subs. And because we're both submissive in bed, we think like that's the play as it should be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Secretary. Yes. Doctor.

Doctor's just an Asian thing, isn't it though? Like someone's like, why didn't you choose nurse? Because I'd be a doctor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at this face. With the bucket hat. Definitely not today's episode. Today you could be, you're seeing the doctor

because you've taken too much kit. I'm the doctor in like the medical assistance tent at a festival yes you can trust me because i've taken some care so i know what it feels like you've just done a four hour shift basically and you're ready to take some care right now yeah exactly um no i think i i think you're definitely right i think the way women fantasize the way women think about role play is absolutely influenced by everything that we consume. Everything around us. The society.

The patriarchy. Everything. Bollywood. The way your friends talk to you. The way your male friends talk to you. And then, of course, porn. Yeah, of course. And I think if you were a gay woman or a gay man, the way that you fantasise must be much more equal.

Equal and also probably varied and diverse. They're probably thinking about fucking warrior. I'm thinking about maid. But it's funny because I wonder if for some people for sex, it's much more equal on equal fitting. Whereas for you and I, when we have sex, it's much more like the power play changes, right? It's like, it's me in charge, it's you in charge,

it's me in charge, it's you in charge. Someone's always leading, like dancing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the waltz, maybe. Like the waltz, yeah. Is that, does someone lead in the waltz? Tango, tango, definitely someone leads in tango. I think someone leads in the waltz too. Someone's always leading in dancing,altz tango tango definitely someone someone's always leading and dancing right yeah i think that's for me sex but do you but is there

a power change with you do you sometimes lead yeah definitely oh i never lead you never lead do you instigate sex it's so funny you should mention that so the guy i'm seeing is like you need to instigate sex more oh interesting yeah i never do it apparently but when someone instigates it with you you're up for it I'm always up for it and I could come always but I don't instigate it see that's for me

where I think the power in my relationship is quite equal because we instigate well I'd say pretty regularly half and half yeah my problem is

my sex window my sex window is between 2 and 4 on a Sunday every day between 2 and 4pm every day between 2 and 4 all people doing it between 2 and 4

they're eating their lunch they're at work it's just between 2 and 4 is when I feel 2 and 4 all people doing it between 2 and 4 they're eating their lunch they're at work it's just between 2 and 4 is when I feel my absolute horniest I can't I can't describe it

post lunch lunch is digested through you yeah sometimes I might not even eat any lunch but I just there's something

about that time my nipple everything is like tingling it's like spidey senses it's like oh god

I wish I had a window mine just comes and flourishes every hour oh see that's better because you but like a little tingle I'm like oh I could wish i had a window mine just comes and flourishes every hour oh see that's better because you like a little tingle i'm like oh i could no no i can't i can possibly and then i could now carry on but what it gives you is a possibility you've so many more options there's also windows you've 12 windows i mean i'm gonna call them windows they're more like peepholes you have 12 peepholes bitch i got i've got a two-hour window at the most inappropriate

inopportune moment and then it's done then I'm like chastity belt on lock that padlock throw the key away interesting so I think when you've been

shagging the same person for a really long time you both know your rhythms a little bit more yes so you're like I know when we have the time

we have a baby so I also know the window in which the baby's asleep yeah two hour naps in the day there's a reason people sleep train.

So you have that window to do stuff. But like Sunday day times, Saturday day times. Is that the time you do it? Yeah, weekends. If I can have sex in the week now, it's like, wow. You're at level two. But you're having sex. I remember when we started this podcast, you weren't even having sex.

You weren't even wanking. What a journey you've been on. I'm back in the game, guys. I'm back in the fucking game. Every other Saturday. Every Saturday. Every Saturday. I mean, every Saturday, but we're quite busy.

So maybe it's been every other Saturday. Yeah. But it's just like, I forgot all about sex. Now I'm like back in it. I could, I knew there was something different. That's why you're glowing. You did say that actually when I turned up today. You said you're glowing.

You did. I said that. Maybe it's because I'm having more sex. It's 100% because you're having sex. It's so weird how having sex makes you feel about yourself. Like, I kind of take that for granted so much. Like, masturbating, I tend to masturbate even when I'm a bit depressed. Yeah.

Because I think it's going to be a pick up. Dead wanks. Yeah. Shit wanks. Depressive wanks. Like, in getting intimate with somebody else, you kind of have to feel good enough about yourself to get to that point. Totally.

Totally. And then afterwards, I feel like I've just completed life. You've got a spring in your step. Exactly. And my life right now is just fucking great. Like, it just is. It's just everything about it is really good. I'm just feeling really happy about stuff.

Like, I sit on the train, I look at pictures of my son and my partner, and I think, how did I get this? How did I get all this? And I feel really lucky about it. Oh, my God. I do. I feel quite happy at the minute.

I'm so happy for you. I don't always feel happy. Not every day, but, like, right now. Well, now, it's a good place. I mean, it would be weird if feel quite happy at the minute I'm so happy for you I don't always feel happy not every day but like right now in the window it's a good place it would be weird if you were happy

all the time and no one's happy all the time that's precious so talking about subs and doms you are switched obviously

you're yeah I think so I mean I instigate I don't know if I dom as much I definitely like being thrown around I like kind of somebody moving us into position and stuff.

That's quite nice. But I do do some, I give back. Okay, so here's the thing. You're obviously an alpha in real life and you are the boss, you manage people in your actual real life Rubina role in your job. Do you sometimes, do you feel like your boss personality, your boss persona clashes with sub-Rubina sex persona?

Oh, interesting. That's hard. Yeah, I think so. I mean, I've realised that in my professional life, I'm really on it and I'm really organised and, like, you know, I have a fucking folder for each project in my email, that kind of next level of organisation. But my personal life, I just, like, let the kind of chaos erupt.

Because there's so much about my personal life I can't control. I have two other people in my family now that have their own thoughts their own minds their own wants and actually like i can't i can't try to kind of cajole them into anything and so like in bed with my partner i definitely just let go because what i want is what you were saying about not being able to switch off all i want is to be able to let go and as long as i can do that that's the most important thing 100 yeah and part of letting go is like, you know what I was thinking about the other day is like when someone's having sex with you and like back in the day

when someone would have sex with you and you were like young, having sex for the first time, they'd be doing all the like thrusting. Yeah. And you'd be like lying there, be like a plank thinking, well, we're having sex.

Yeah. Because somebody's thrusting into me. And like now when I have sex, I am a heavy level thruster. I thrust right back. Yeah, I need to do that i don't you know the rest this morning that's my idea of like equal sex when i'm like well this morning i was trying to thrust but i just wasn't quick enough i don't think you know the energy so that i didn't have the energy i mean i actually didn't have the energy but i just wasn't i wasn't really fast enough for him because trusting at the same time

it's quite a rhythm yeah no no no you can't be off thrust you can't be off beat you know yeah you've got to do it yeah you're gonna do it together you're gonna do it together you've got to be at the same pace yeah what if the other person's faster than you then you're just like you gotta catch up then you feel like the fatty like but then also because then one of you's thrusting and then there has a little break and then the other one takes over the thrusting okay yeah. Yeah. I mean, because if you think about like, but what about synchronized thrusting? That could be a vibe. Synchronized thrusting.

That could be a, like, yeah, synchronized thrusting. So do you do tag team thrusting? We do a bit of both. All right. Tag team. Noted. Same time.

Thrusting is just good. I think showing back that you're like into it with a good thrust. Yeah. Do you think that you need to have somebody who's going to try, because of your sexual appetite that you need to have somebody who's going to try because of your sexual appetite you need to have someone who's going to try lots of things yes and not be grossed out by it oh yeah no yeah yeah anyone who thinks sex is gross they need to be or is like weird about sex or like washes their hands oh god like you know these people that wash

that i went to the party recently right yeah and there was a bowl of crisps on the table and this guy was like he'd take a crisp put it in his mouth and then wash his hands oh my god and then take a crisp and because it was in the kitchens he could wash his hands really easily and i was like god i wonder how covid was for you or six but then i remembered this really great line from that chess netflix drama that's called something queen's gambit queen's gambit right there's a line amazing line in that Netflix series where she goes,

oh, people who don't like food aren't good in bed. And it's true. People who don't eat well, they're not good in bed. Yeah, that's so true. If you see somebody who's like pushing food

around their plate, are those guys that just eat chicken broccoli rice, chicken broccoli rice, chicken broccoli rice. They're missionary guys in one position. You are not going to be good in bed.

It needs to be somebody who enjoys food who really salivates over it texture and smell who's interested in trying lots of different things my guy loves food I love eating food

I love food I love food and when I met my partner and he was like you love food so much that when I met you it was like this isn't

and now now I've met her this is a deal breaker for me I need to have somebody who's like this who loves food as much as you do oh my god you set the bar boo

I set the bar and you're still together I still keep him set the bar, boo. I set the bar. And you're still together. I still keep him in the sex slave prison at home. He's fine. You're co-opting my fantasy from this movie. I might try your blind one today. Yeah, do it.

Maybe just wear sunglasses. Well, we did try a blind. I put on a blindfold. It was so hot. Yeah, exactly. Losing one of your senses is good. But only sight. Because if you couldn't hear... You'd be fucked.

If you couldn't hear, maybe that would be okay. If you're listening to music on headphones and someone was shagging you. But like listening to like orchestral music, that would be quite hard. I love listening to music and having sex. Yeah, but if somebody got rid of your smell, I'd be okay with that actually. You would absolutely not be okay with it. You've just talked about how much you love food. 90% of our seeking pleasure from food is the smell. Yeah talking about in sex what do you mean if somebody was like put a peg on your nose

and then was like let's have sex i'd actually prefer to have sex like that because sex is really smelly but don't you think it smells quite nice sometimes it smells quite nice and sometimes you're like your partner's bo smells like really delicious yeah yeah yeah i'm all about that oh my god yeah yeah yeah i like it when someone licks my armpit oh my god me too that's so hard i love it's one of my erogenous zones what is it the contacts the bucket hat

the armpit the commitment to filth it's like the commitment to filth it's like I don't give a shit

I love it well then that is not I mean that to me is this is less worse than arsehole is

probably the worst you can go than feet could you have sex where you couldn't use your mouth

so I'm just going through all the senses yeah what do you mean so like you can't see you can't where you couldn't use your mouth? So I'm just going through all the senses. Yeah, what do you mean? So like, suppose you can't see, you can't hear, you can't smell.

What if you couldn't use your mouth? Like not kiss? Not kiss, not lick. Yeah, of course. You could have sex and never use your mouth. It's just, I come from penetrative sex

and that's absolutely fine with me. You don't even need your mouth. I don't even need my mouth. I need kissing. No, I love, I mean I love kissing but like say you're, would you rather have sex

with the smelliest man in the world or the ugliest man in the world? Ugliest. Ugliest. Yeah, smell would be really, really bad. The only time I would do ugly is if someone was playing the would you rather game with me.

And then I'm out. Have you never had sex with somebody in the morning, woken up and looked at their face and thought? Look at me. I sleep with hot guys. It's not a problem for me. I mean, not maybe, don't look at me today I sleep with hot guys. It's not a problem for me.

I mean, don't look at me today, right now, because I feel like dog shit. But, no. You've never slept with an ugly guy? I've slept with guys who are shit at six. Have you slept with an eight? Or a six? No.

Wow. I slept with a seven. Yeah, but Poppy's operating on some different scale. Normal people who listen to this podcast are like me. We're averaging a seven, and sometimes we get a seven. Yeah, but Poppy's operating on some different scale. Normal people who listen to this podcast are like me. We're averaging a seven and sometimes we get a six. But your six might be my eight. My eight might be your six. Nah.

Yeah. No, I mean, I've seen the guys that you're attracted to and I'm not attracted to them. But this is my point. So this is my point. Exactly. Because your current guy, I mean, you were like, he's so... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love the way he looks. He's so hot. I'm not attracted to them so actually you're right you're right exactly because like your current guy I mean you were like he's

yeah yeah yeah I love the way he looks he's so hot I'm obsessed with him when he walked into my house I was expecting fucking Brad Pitt see I don't think Brad Pitt's hot at all

he looks a bit like I don't think I don't think who he looks like but I can say oh he looks like he looks like someone said to me he looks like

he looks like the guy he played the Danish girl he does not look like Eddie Redmayne at all. Oh, my God. Someone said he looks a bit like... He's not ginger. Someone said he's got Cillian Murphy vibes

when you look at his face when he does the cut. When you see his face. I didn't see it and then I saw it later. That is the kind of guy I'd imagine you'd be interested in. Yeah, but I don't... Cillian Murphy looks a bit like you. Literally, it reminds me of the eyes. I think he does look a bit like you. It reminds me of the eyes. He literally does look a bit like you it reminds the eyes he literally does

oh my god i'm looking you're mainly i'm doing another version to incest it's having sex with yourself incest well i'm looking i'm going out with someone who looks like me who is me who i don't know but i don't fancy brad pitt but like but i think beauty is in the eye of the beholder so to me i'm obviously not going out with sixes but you might think you are. Sure I guess I mean I definitely slept with guys in the past because they were funny. Would I think they were fucking six? That's the question. Yeah yeah yeah because sometimes I would sleep

with guys that I'm not even like that attracted to. What's the lowest number? Oh I've been with like a three See that's what I want to do I want to rise above I want to be a better person and not do a pity not do a pity three no not a pity three no I'm talking about

sometimes you sleep with somebody because they just said something that was like so funny and so genius and so it just caught you caught you in the peephole window where you were like you know what

oh hello you caught me you caught my attention I'm in I want to redress your question to me I could sleep with who I think is a three but they're so funny and they are witty

and they're great and they're smooth and they're cheeky you know all the kind of things I like that's fine but objectively yeah I could sleep

with a three but they'd have to really come at it with all the other right right right you know they have to up up up oh yeah yeah yeah

there's loads of threes out there I'm not gonna do three you know when they put the fucking dog shows when they put the numbers up it's not gonna be three all round that's tragic

Brown Girls do it too listen up get ready people two podcasts come together in one corner pressed

girls shouldn't look for the same kind of love yeah in the other corner Brown Girls do it too we are women and we have sex.

United to bring you a special podcast mashup. We present Press Girls Do It Too. You heard it here. The girls are getting together like never before. And that's on what?

Period. Listen to Press Girls Do It Too. Listen on BBC Sounds. Brown girls do it too. So have you ever been in a situation where someone's made you cringe out or you've cringed them out or you cringe yourself out because of some dirty talk or something, like you're trying to be sexy?

I can so imagine you being sexy, by the way. And failing. And not failing, but like you... Taking it too seriously. Yeah, and you cringing yourself out like I didn't do that well I have like stripped

somebody before that would be hilarious see if you strip for me I'd find that hilarious and sexy because you'd be so funny doing it no I was trying to be like

sexy stripping like Demi Moore sexy but that's quite funny I love that you don't think I could do sexy stripping, Poppy. It's because I can't. Look at me take off this hat, right?

It's gay support. Okay, you want me to leave the hat on? No bobs. It's because I can't. I can't do it. I remember once I was wearing denim shorts and a t-shirt, so I wasn't wearing a really sexy outfit at all, but I was quite drunk, and I was with this Irish guy,

and I was at university and we went back to his place and we watched a nature documentary just actually quite random but we got a bit stoned and watched a nature documentary and then I was like it's time

and I was like because I'd had enough and I was like we need to get do the deets because I've got to write my dissertation tomorrow anyway so this has to be quite quick and I wanted to get us off the TV

because you know sometimes TV really slows down the rhythm anyway so I was like I was like taking off my t-shirt you know and I was like trying to do it really slowly really sexily and I think he was just a bit like what are you doing and then I realized actually stripping like that whole kind of like I'm taking off all my clothes it's kind of taking away one of the things you can do for play wise yeah and then also once I'd taken off my T-shirt and my shorts, I was like, you're naked now,

who's sure he gets it? No, I mean, I had like a bra and pants on, right? So I had like that. He gets that you're initiating sex. Exactly. And he hadn't taken off any of his clothes yet.

Mate, you wanted to binge David Attenborough's Nature Program. I know. It was a really bad program. It was the wrong choice of program. That was like the cringiest thing that I've done because I remember being like,

Has anyone cringed you out? Like either dirty talking or a role play or something that's just gone wrong and you're like oh god what's going on here um I can't think of anything that made me feel like weird I can't think of anything interesting what about you I'm mostly saying yeah yeah periodically so I'm so I'm not I'm not doing anything like yeah yeah is a very neutral place to be by the way you're saying

like yeah is something you'd say that word when you're having sex is that what you say you say just yeah in role play you're like because they're asking me

they're asking me questions you're my this you're my this you're doing this to me you're doing this to me you're my you know so I'm like yeah yeah I am your

that's what that yeah yeah is yeah yeah I was cringed out by someone I was on a date with and they came across so lovely, aka middle class and nice, and then went to the bedroom and then just got... It just...

I mean, I had no issues with it, but I had no warning. It just... They ramped up the... So there's dirty talk and there's dirty talk. This is dirty talk 1.2, which is the Poppy's classification of, you bitch, you slut, you fucking whore, which I have no problems with.

I like all that. I like all that. I'm just like, it's cool. I don't mind bitch. I would take on slut. Whore for me is just... Oh, I love it all. I love it all.

You want someone to call you a whore? Oh God, yeah. A whore? Yeah, a whore. You can say it five more times and Iore? Oh, God, yeah. A whore? Yeah, a whore. Wow. You can say it five more times and I'll be like, yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah.

I mean, yeah. A bitch? A slut? Yep. Bitch, slut, all of it. Wow. Yeah. Why am I telling you this?

I'll tell you why. Because it went too quickly but you still enjoyed it. Yeah, I just found it a bit... It doesn't sound cringe. It sounds like you were up for it. Yeah, it wasn't disconcerting. But you know when I... Oh, you caught me by surprise there

you know when you think I suppose what I'm saying is you think you know someone I got no pre-warning and then we went to bitch slut quite quickly and I'm someone who's okay with bitch slut

so can you imagine he'd done that with someone else i.e. you and I'd be like so I was I wasn't saying I was thinking about this other girl

that he was fucking at least he was fucking me but I was just like some kind of warning some kind of I think I'm too much of a feminist to feel like those words those words carry too much weight with me i think i'd be like absolutely fucking no way in the bedroom i'm so detached from real life poppy that i'm like whatever it doesn't matter but like speaking of pre-chat because what could

what could the possible pre-chat be to that like you're having a drink and you're like so um i'll tell you what it is you know you're gonna be my you're gonna be my whore okay so that's too direct and on the nose okay right but like you know how they you know in those instagram memes they're like i always like a guy and i base it on how he treats the waiter like you know how people oh yeah yeah i'm not saying bitch get me my drink now i'm not saying that but just some inkling of um swearing swearing something i mean i i swear like a whore yeah yeah she's like and it's just it's a fucking whore. Yeah, she's like that. And it's just...

It's really hard to get you to the point where you can be in the bedroom with someone for them to suddenly switch like that. It was literally like night and day and I didn't see it coming.

And did you discuss it with him afterwards? Absolutely not. I rolled with the punches and I never saw him again. Yeah. And he messaged the next day and I didn't message

and I was like, well, this is... I think... No, I i never ghost anyone i hate this ghosting business i don't ever go you gotta be just real yeah i just be i messaged him something that was very short i didn't ask him a question and it was very obvious that was because when i was dating i remember i always had like good like lines ready for people that i wasn't wanting to see again one of my lines was it just didn't feel very natural oh that's i think it's quite good it's quite good because i'm natural so i i'm sure i i i've been catfished there were two dates that went not well i didn't i didn't sleep with them it's so bad that my barometer of a date going

away is me sleeping with them but there was two one was a catfish and the other one was too short terrible i know and the first one i lied i said i had a personal training session in the morning i had to go and the second one once i because obviously remember this is the first time I'm dating you know so and then the second one I was just like a bit like your natural I'm going to use that

mine was slightly more wordy I just wasn't feeling it just wasn't wasn't really feeling us and yeah yeah yeah also like I did the whole like I'm not really ready for a relationship

that's quite classic if you want to get binned someone yeah would you rather be told the truth or do the whole would you rather be told the truth or do the whole would you rather be told I don't feel it what did you say

it wasn't feeling natural it wasn't feeling natural or would you rather them lie to you if you were on the receiving end I think somebody telling me

it wasn't feeling natural is fine because like look some people are going to fancy me and fall in love with me and some people are going to think

I'm repulsive some people are going to think I'm a three some people think I'm a three no one thinks you're a three probably no one thinks you are going to think I'm repulsive some people are going to think I'm a three some people think I'm a three no one thinks you're a three probably no one

thinks you're a three but the thing is this is our whole plays about this I'm not white I'm not blonde I'm not blue eyed some men are just

not into us right that's true you're a three everyone's a three to somebody everyone's a three to somebody and everyone's a ten

to somebody and everyone's a ten beautiful so I mean look we play multiple roles not just in the bedroom but in like our lives you know we're somebody's daughter somebody's sister i'm now somebody's auntie auntie and mother yeah mother i feel like mother's the big role for me right now i'm focusing in on and then i think about how i have to change in each of those roles because the way i talk to you about sex funnily enough i don't speak to my eight-month-year-old son the same way, right?

You know, like you adopt these different personas. My boss said to me, like, oh, she talks about female masturbation. And everyone was like, like sniggered. Like they thought that was really funny. And I was on my way out of the office and I was like, yep, I do that. I still do it. Bye, everyone. Because I was like, what do I, you've got to own that.

Like, I'm not ashamed of that. We have to do it. Yeah. Bye, everyone. Because I was like, what do I, you've got to own that. Like, I'm not ashamed of that. We have to own it. But the truth is, I am a different person at work to how I am at home. Like, I just am. You know, like, work, I've got loads of stuff going on.

I'm really busy. I can't, like, be a joker all the time. You know, I try to slip in some jokes and some zooms. I would say that you're, I think the common denominator

is Rubina the Joker. Often, I sometimes think about 14-year-old Rubina lost in the woods and then 8-year-old Rubina lost in the woods and then eight-year-old Rubina underneath a lavatory. I think about those Rubinas, but Rubina is funny in all aspects of life.

But I think this is true of all women. We code switch, we have different personas. We're wives, mothers, daughters, aunties, whatever, sisters. Which scenario in your life do you feel like you can be truly yourself? Oh, great question. Which scenario in your life do you feel like you can be truly yourself? Oh, great question.

Why am I doing this with an accent? Who could I be? And I've already adopted another accent. With you, actually, on this podcast. I agree. I feel like you've cut down to some really raw Robina-ness. That's quite like a porn phrase, like the raw Robina. No, but the real you. The real, yeah.

The kind of, I hate this word, unfiltered, but the unpackaged, real, rough and ready version of us. I feel like me, when I'm with you, when I'm with my friends, when I'm with my one sister, not the others, no offense. I have to, again, filter, code switch. Couldn't just say masturbating to them. No. Couldn't.

So I feel the closest with those friends and they see the most me. But I suppose the most me anyone will ever see is me when I'm on my own. What about you? I think I'm really myself with my partner. Okay. Yeah, I think I'm just as intimate with him as I am with you in terms of like how open I am yeah I think him and like a few friends maybe like two friends as well have that kind of same level of like real rawness but yeah not with my family not in any way not in any way I'm completely different to my mom my dad and

my brother like not they're like and it's sad because I think that they don't know what they're missing out on yeah I think this thing of like, can I ever completely be myself? It sounds really sweet and lovely, but we can't like, if I was ever myself and you were ever yourself, 100% of the time. We'd never have any friends. We'd never have any friends. No one would have any friends.

We'd be ostracised from society. We would be. Maybe I'd be in prison. I am in prison. I'm in the next cell with you, bitch. And we're lesbians. Finally. I always make... Orange by the way we're gonna have our own separate lesbians I just make that joke because it makes you feel uncomfortable I think it's fine actually the truth that you just

said it quite poignantly already like the only way you can really be your true self is to yourself and that's why that relationship with yourself is so important because you you know everything you know your dark your light your good thoughts your bad thoughts your kind of weird shady thoughts the weird weird stuff inside of you and the good good yeah and the bad bad and it's all there there's definitely stuff that you just don't tell people that you're just like oh yeah and actually there's some stuff on this podcast that i probably shouldn't have told anyone but i've told you and then everyone didn't we on the podcast that I probably shouldn't have told anyone but I've told you and we had those moments didn't we on the podcast we were like we should not have told anyone that why did we do that

but I think also because we do cross that line a lot it's always your quote that I quote but like we're the weird uncle but I guess the thing about sex anyway is like lots of people have interior thinking about it and all we've tried to do is be honest and expose a lot of our interior thinking

which is a bit problematic a bit messy like a bit sad and a bit like insecure and a bit funny and everything and we've tried to expose as much as possible so that if anyone is listening right now and they're thinking anything we've said in this last series has been relatable that's worth it that's worth it 100 like if if you thought that was funny or yeah any bit of it any moment I think job done if you were like oh I think that too

but I've never spoken to anyone about it I'm like validation yeah we've won that's it that's all we had to do high five me sister high five

and thank you all for listening to series 3 we've had some pretty amazing messages I think we're just going to whiz through a few of them now this is Ambrin

who says hello guys first of all I just want to say you're all so amazing and have changed my life in so many ways way too personal to go into that over an introductory email but i'd like to say thank you so much for doing what you do you were all epic um i had another brilliant one the other day um a man slid into my uh dms which i actually instantly have right here um so bingoli guy umali Guy messaged me this. I listened to some episodes from season two while I was

at work and I recall an episode where you were chatting about rimming. It stayed on my mind. My wife is a Bangladeshi Muslim and our sex life is pretty conservative to say the least. Anyway, I started performing all on her after five years of marriage and she loved it. A few weeks later I built up the courage and rimmed her. She

absolutely loves it and can't get enough of it. Neither can I. I just wanted to thank you for talking about such things. It has certainly improved our sex lives. Oh, love that. Love that.

Public service. This one is, I'm straight, white and past it in brackets nearly 68. That's not past it, my friend. No. Heard you the other day on Women's Hour.

Yeah, we did feature there. Loved what I heard, so downloaded your podcast and binge listened for six hours driving home from Devon. I wouldn't recommend that for anyone, but I rate this guy for doing it. Laughing all the way.

Just about finishing series two and still laughing. Please never give this up. You are simply the best. You're simply the best. You too, Selena. Thanks for your message. Another message from Gurvinder.

You girls rock. Glad you're back. Loved the episode with Seema. So, so interesting. Could listen to her for hours. Great intel. You girls rock. Glad you're back. Loved the episode with Seema. So, so interesting. Could listen to her for hours. Great intel. She was amazing. She was good.

This one's from James. Hi, Poppy and Rubina. My name is James. I'm 34. I'm an Aussie living in Glasgow. I grew up in the house of strong, supportive women. I'm sure I'm not exactly your target demographic, but everyone should listen to you two.

You two are producing something which I'm finding amazing, intelligent, hot, informative, liberatingating and life-changing for me and every guy and girl around me especially the women who are important to me they're bursting with a new pride and confidence because of you two and i'm listening closely and learning every day from your podcast james love that message getting a bit of mosh getting a bit of mosh i also feel like with white guys we're sort of giving them like the Bible to how to deal with brown girls. Yeah, we're literally being like, touch me here.

Do this. Lick me armpit. Pretend to be blind. Play a bit of Bollywood. Pretend to kiss me, don't kiss me. Be a sub, don't be a sub. Do anal, wear a black plug. We're literally like,

we're giving you a guide. If anyone random came up and started flirting with me on the tube and did all these things, I'd be like, they know. They know. What's been your favourite moment from this series uh my favorite moment from this series was probably when we actually when you went to go have your vagina looked out

i thought that was mental that we did that really by the labiaplasty woman i mean i was pregnant and i was like literally gonna give birth the next day that to me literally feels like it happened five years ago because it was like COVID times, people were masking up. My highlights were three, sema, joity and anal. Oh, anal was funny. I just, I just, because we sometimes record too. Yeah. And just, I've just sema with the fingering,

with the like gun fingers fingering yourself. That was funny. Well, and just all the positions, you know. Also, you and I come to this room and we have our brown girls do it too podcast personas on i've actually in my life i'm going through a really tough time at work and genuinely coming here and laughing with you is such a beautiful joy and that day when we had two back-to-back episodes i was just like i forgot all my problems and i was just laughing about like anal and x's and i just was i just i forgot and it was so

beautiful i loved it i can't remember that far back to phlebioplasty but i think you're right that coming here and like just having a bit of therapy and like getting some shit off our chest yeah talking about our chests talking about dark shit Yeah, we didn't even talk about tit wanking. It was a whole series never mentioned tit wanking. Series four. Wow, God, end of an era.

Can we also give a massive shout out to Dr. Archie. We have a really great team who work on this podcast. It's definitely not just us. Zaina, Hattie, Kronja, amazing.

Kronja, amazing. And Andy, who gives us a chance to keep going sometimes also bbc sounds like bbc i don't know yeah brown bums come they're letting us speak they're letting our brown bums come to the boy bbc brown bums come thank you everyone you thank you you did that i realized i realized it that's so we should have a t-shirt says bbc brown bombs come hashtag me don't at me so if you want to slide into my inbox you still can even if the series is over we are still reading

your emails and we've got a wonderful team to help us do that. It's browngirls, not because I can't read, because I'm blind. Remember? Anyways, please get in touch on browngirlsdoit2 at bbc.co.uk. Sorry.

And remember to subscribe to this podcast on BBC Sounds. We will miss you. We love you guys so much. And please do DM us, email us, if you can think of a brilliant guest

that might add to the Brown Girl experience. Yeah, reach out to us. We're here for it. It's for Brown Girls everywhere. Brown Girls everywhere. Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. Hi, I'm Poppy. And I'm Robina.

Brown Girls Do It Too, Mama Told Me Not To Come is a live show inspired by our award-winning BBC podcast. From October to November, we'll be bringing our trademark candour to cities across England. Tickets on sale now. Brown Girls Do It Too.