Brown Girls Do It Too - Kiss My Arse

Episode Date: May 24, 2024

Priya Sohanpal is a Punjabi Sikh (& Dom Fem) icon who's stealing the show in BBC Three's I Kissed A Girl. In this episode, she joins Poppy and Rubina to discuss kissing: how important is the first kiss? Where do they like to be kissed (other than the lips?) and can you fix a bad kisser? Also, are queer women better kissers? They also chat labels, relationship drama and representation.Have a message for Poppy and Rubina? If you’re over 16, you can message the BGDIT team via WhatsApp for free on 07968100822. Or email us at [e-mail] you're in the UK, for more BBC podcasts listen on BBC Sounds: bbc.in/3UjecF5

BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts. Oh wait, are we recording? If those sounds offended your ears as much as ours, then please heed this next warning. This podcast will feature strong language. It will also feature lots of adult content. And kissing. Lots of kissing. Well, like talking about kissing.

Yeah, because it would be like so crazy if we kissed. So crazy. I mean, we could. Only it's a joke. I think you're probably a terrible kisser, to be honest. I'm really, you know what? It's one thing you saying I was lazy in bed and I'm like, I actually was, and you're probably right. Season one to three, I was lazy.

Now I have to put my back in it. It's quite another thing, Robina, Sudra, and Prabani saying I'm not a good kisser because I am a good kisser. I'm trying to think if I still kiss anyone. I think you're a good kisser, but I think, contrary to what you think about my kissing skills, I actually think that you're probably going to be good in bed

and that you're a good kisser. I think I'm an all right kisser. I really like kissing. That's really fun, isn't it? I love kissing. It's so nice. I love kissing. And they say that like if you like,

that like you stay on each other's lips for more than like six seconds, it like releases all this pheromone stuff that's really like amazing. Like when you hug somebody, you know like there's a hug and then there's a hug, you know like a deep hug. And then it just like releases all this greatheromone stuff that's really amazing. When you hug somebody, there's a hug and then there's a hug. You know, like a deep hug. And then it just releases all this great stuff in your body. It's physiologically wonderful to be kissed in a really beautiful, passionate way. This is a podcast about kissing.

No, I'm joking. This is a podcast about sex. At least it started off like that. Now we talk about everything. Everything is sex. And sex is everything. And that includes our mistakes, our heartbreaks. And our hot, hot, hot kissing takes.

I'm Robina and my favourite place to be kissed is right behind my left ear. Left, not right. Left. Very particular. I'm Poppy and my favourite place to be kissed is in my arse. Tongues. Only tongues in the arse. You wouldn't actually want someone to just give you a peck on the arse.

It'd have to be like a full on snog. A Frenchie. A Frenchie with my anal. Arse and then neck. Obviously arse. Obviously lips. Forget lips. Take lips off the table lips take lips off the table

take lips off the table arse neck but like for sexy times those are all the places also underarm underarm hot

it's so hot I also quite like forehead when I'm feeling like I need some support the forehead is very much like parent territory I don't want a guy I like

unless I'm 10 years in like it works for me yeah yeah yeah that's what I think a peck here I like kissing on the forehead unless I'm 10 years in like it works for me yeah yeah yeah that's what I think that's what I think a peck here is like cool we're family

cheeks cheeks are actually quite nice or like you know just next to your lips you know what Asians do we do a nose kiss oh yeah do you do a nose kiss

like a little Inuit kiss Inuit Inuit I can't say it Inuit Inuit Inuit

yeah apparently they have butterfly kisses apparently they have... Butterfly kisses. Apparently they have 137 different ways to kiss with the nose. Wow. I just made that up. I'm just going to Google it right now. 137's quite good.

Different ways to kiss. The gesture is known as kunik and consists of pressing or rubbing the tip on one's nose. There's so many different types. Yeah, there's lots of different types. Nose kissing's sweet though, isn't it? Nose kissing is... I would do nose kissing with a partner. I've done it with my son. I wouldn't do nose kissing.

Yeah, I would do nose kissing with the family. Family. There's some kisses, types of kisses, that crosses over to family. And sexy. And sexy. Yeah. I wouldn't do...

If a guy just dated, just pegged me on the forehead and be like, you're a fucking psycho, get the fuck out. You want to marry me, you need to leave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm freaked out. What about kissing on the hand? That be like, you're a fucking psycho. Get the fuck out. You want to marry me. You need to leave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm freaked out. What about kissing on the hand? That's quite European, isn't it?

So my friend came around yesterday and like in terms of intimacy, like I'll kiss her on her hand. Like that very much is in, that sits more in friendship territory, but also could sit in partner territory. Again, partner, not boyfriend, man, I'm banging. Slash guy I've met.

Yeah, slash guy I met. What if he's like, madame, and kisses your hand? You'd be like, what? I'd be like... Well, he might be French. Yeah, fine. We have a guest today who can now claim to be a bona fide kissing expert. She's Sikh, Punjabi, Welsh, lesbian, icon,

who's currently stealing the show in BBC Three's I Kissed a Girl. Priya, Sohan, Pearl, welcome to Brown Girls Do It Too. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited. You guys are legends, literally. You're amazing in that show. You really are. And you're like, fly the flag.

Yeah. Queer brown girl. Fly the South Asian flag. Fly that flag, baby girl. Yeah. We're going to do a quick fire kissing game with you. Oh, okay. Go for it.

So we're just going to launch straight in. I'm excited. How important is the first kiss? Ooh, very important. I've always said from day dot, the first kiss literally tells you all you need to know about the person you're getting with. Like kissing to their soul.

Yeah, because you can feel the chemistry between that person when you kiss them. And I've had some bad kisses in my time. Yeah. And it's never worked out. But those good kisses, there's a feeling. Okay, I always say there's this feeling. It's like a shooting feeling down your spine or like your stomach drops. Oh, yeah.

That's when you know. I'm getting fucking bad kisses because that's not happening to me right now. Oh, okay. So you need to really, you need to get your good kiss. I need the spine tingle. The stomach drop is such a good phrase

for like that first bit of chemistry when you're with someone. Because you do feel like something's dropped. Honestly, literally, or it goes down my spine. Even when I think about the kiss, it goes down my spine and I'm just like,

that's how I know. I have a million follow-up questions to this, but I'll do this game really, really quickly. So tongues or no tongues? Tongues. Long lingering kisses or fast and passionate? Long lingering kisses. Other than your lips,

where's your favourite place to be kissed? I don't want to say that because it's not PG. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This entire podcast is not PG. I like to be kissed in my arse, so. That's how she stops. This podcast is not PG, babe, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This entire podcast is not PG. I like to be kissed in my arse, so. That's how she stops. I don't know. This podcast is not PG, babe. Come on.

Okay, fab. Okay, so pussy, arse, everything. Okay, there you go. Everywhere. Everywhere. Okay, yeah. Absolutely everywhere. Order of, is there like an order of priority?

Okay, so obviously lips first. Neck. Yeah. You know, the vagine. The vagine, arse and tits. Tits! Tits! Neither of us said tits! I know, that's true.

Tits are such a great place to be kidding. It is. I got some people in there. Nipples. Oh, shit. How did we fucking forget nipples? I don't know. People often neglect the nipples, actually.

They do neglect the nipples. They're so erogenous. I'm like, oh my God, I'm just turning neglect the nipples. They're so erogenous. Yeah, like, you're just like, oh my God, I'm just turning myself on. I've just been about it. When I was in my hetero era, there was this guy who literally asked me to suck on his nipples.

And I was like, at the time, I wasn't in my, like, gay era, but I was like, girl, what? Hang on, talking about eras, we're literally talking about eras with our producers. When was your hetero era? It was from birth until... Until I was about 19. when was your hetero era? it was from birth until until

I was about 19 yeah I literally got with a Punjabi girl like in uni and then it was

game over oh my god that's so great you got with a Punjabi girl yeah that was my first girlfriend brown on brown that's so nice yeah

I know I like even though we've both been you're with a white guy and I have been a white guy there's respect for you on this side of going to the brown guy but that must have just made it easier as my point no but you know what's crazy like we were in university and we were put like

we were put together in the same flat two gay Punjabi girls and like she had a girlfriend at the time but I kind of took her. And I know, I know. And like, during that relationship, we were together for like over a year and her, she wasn't out to her mum yet.

Okay. And I was staying. Are you out to your family? Oh yeah. Yeah, they're fine. But her mum wasn't. So I was staying over her house

with her, I don't want to say homophobic, but you know, her. Yeah, Asians, some Asians can be homophobic, let's just call it a spade a spade.

She was Hindu, like Punjabi Hindu, and I remember like, Are you Punjabi Sikh? Are you Punjabi Sikh? I'm Punjabi Sikh, yeah, and when she came out to her mum, like she literally told her,

because her mum had an inkling, she was like, oh yeah, do you and Priya have a thing? And then she finally told her, and then she was like, get out my house. She literally,

and she got on her hands and knees saying, please leave my daughter alone, and I literally said, to you? Yeah, to, and she got on her hands and knees saying, please leave my daughter alone. And I literally said. To you? Yeah, to me. She got on her hands and knees to you? Yes, to me.

She got on her hands and knees to me in front of me saying, please leave my daughter alone. And I said, no, I love your daughter. And then she kicked me out the house, called me a fucking bitch. And that was like. I'm sorry. Is this one of the soap operas that my mum's been watching?

I know. And then we literally had to sneak around. This is like a star plus. So you had to sneak around. We had to sneak around. It's not easy. I know, I know. We literally had to sneak around. This is like a star plus. So you had to sneak around. We had to sneak around. It's not easy. I'm not saying it's easier to be gay, sorry, easier to be lesbian if you're white,

but like in our communities, we still have these fucking massive hangups. I know. And like it's hard to talk about it because you don't have like a large community where you can share stories and you don't have like a safe space in which you can talk.

Yeah. I just think about all the young queer British Asian girls who are watching you and being like maybe I can like come out to my parents or maybe I can like take a leap you know like I have had messages saying like oh thank you for kind of like flying the flag and but at the same time they are still there are people who are still in the closet that are scared. And it's really horrible. Because I'm so lucky to have had such a supportive family who've taken me in. Even my extended family.

Even your extended family? That's amazing. My entire extended family. All the daijis, daijis, chachis, chachas. Everyone knows. That's amazing. I know. And they're like, oh, congratulations. I'm so happy for knows. Oh, God, that's so good. I know, and they're like, oh, like, congratulations.

You're like, you're out. I know, but not everyone has that. And it breaks my heart that people can't have that safe space and they have no one to talk to. And you know what? Any girlies who are out there who do want to talk to me, go for it. Oh, that's so nice. You must be such an inspiration to so many young queer women

by going on a tv show like that and just saying look it's not easy and you cannot i mean i know it's been easier for you because of your circumstances but just showing women that it can be done and it's possible and change takes so much time were you were you nervous before you went on i kissed a girl 100 i didn't tell my family um not my extended family uh my mum and my dad knew that i was going on the show um but no one else did and i had to tell them once i came back from italy i was like okay by the way you might see btw you might see me kissing women on television i love how asians drop news btw i'm gay yeah btw we've got a sex podcast so last minute because I did tell my mum first

that I was gay and then I told my dad because he's like my dad is very old he's 73 he's 73 years old born and raised in Uganda and I told him I was like oh by the way dad um you know that girl that's been coming over over the house he was like yeah he was like your friend i was like she's my girlfriend and i'm gay and he was just like okay good night like i feel like that's the best response literally coming out exactly that's exactly what it should be right because it's like it's like it's really it should never be called coming out anymore it's just like

I'm just letting you know that that person is with me whoever that is done that's the best response you could ever ask for that is an amazing response I know

and like genuinely the fact that my dad didn't make a big deal out of it he just accepted it and then he's 73 as well I know he's progressive

for a 1950s baby hell to the, he is such... Big up for my dad. Big up to your dad. Good watching, Singh. Well done. Now, here I am, lips in women on telly. Okay, so coming neatly onto that,

for those people who don't know the show, can you explain the premise of the show? Okay, so the premise of the show is basically you explain your type to production and then you walk up like so you go to Italy you're paired up with someone who you've never seen. You never saw that person? Never. I didn't know what they looked like I didn't know what their personality was like didn't even know their name and they pair you up with someone and they're like okay go

kiss them now so you walk to each other. If I think you do, you kiss each other. You kiss each other. First thing, when I saw Ney, I was thinking, okay, that's my type. But I was literally shaking, knowing full well that there were going to be cameras right in front of us during our first kiss.

And I was like, okay, at least she's my type. I don't have to do this awkward kiss. But during our first kiss and I was like okay at least she's my type I don't have to do this awkward but at the same time I was thinking does she is she attracted to me yeah like is am I her type yeah so what did you tell the production team prior to meeting her what did you say was like the thing that you're into i told them i love a woman of color um whether that's like south asian um you know i or black women i love masculine presenting women yeah but they need to have like a feminine side yeah that is an important thing i love a woman with who can be masculine presenting but have a feminine side at the same time. And they did have that.

But like, you know, you need to kind of pry it out of her, that kind of softer feminine side, which is fine. Everyone takes their own time with that. But yeah, when I saw her, I was like, yep. Okay.

Well done. I mean, you were the first person on. Yeah. You were the first. I was like, yeah, she's the first person they you were the first so I was like yeah she's the first person they introduced I was like you always go in

with your most strongest character unicorn but your kiss everyone's everyone's kisses oh my god oh yeah

looked like women like queer women kissing oh my days we just know how to do it you just know

how to do it yeah there's like lots of labels and I didn't know what STEM was and we found out what Black Cat Energy

they have it in in the gay world as well in the lesbian world Black Cat and Golden Retriever Energy we learnt that the other day yeah yeah oh yeah 100% the STEM

and all this there was a large conversation around the term STEM actually could you explain for our audience what STEM is? So a STEM is...

Not STEM subjects. Science and engineering math. Science and engineering math. STEM is a mixture between stud and feminine. That label normally belongs to, you know, either women of colour. So it's a mixture between stud and femme. So stud belongs to women of colour, particularly black women. Okay.

Who are masculine presenting. Yes, masculine presenting. And there was a bit of a buzz on Twitter saying like, these white women are sick for calling themselves stems. And I do agree that, you know, you normally call yourself...

If you're white though and you used to be butch, then if you were masculine presenting or if you're a though and you used to be butch then if you were masculine presenting I'd just say people were saying fudge like femme butch but I've never heard of that but like I do agree that you know the term like stud stem

belongs to women of colour and I'll leave it there but obviously some of the girls weren't aware of that. And that conversation needs to be touched on. What do you think of like, because for me, if you're a gay woman, you're a gay woman and that's kind of it. I didn't realise there was all these factions inside of it.

There are so many labels. Yeah. And why is that important? Because I don't think everyone understands why the kind of identifying under the banner of gay women actually has like this crazy diversity that you're throwing around.

I think it's a generational thing. Gen Z, you're Gen Z, aren't you? Yeah. I think all Gen Z are just... I don't say it loud and proud. But you come across as a much older soul, actually.

Yeah. I think it's because I've been raised by older parents. But there is this thing about this need to not pick a lane but like people love labels what's your thinking on that though because i i think i'm normally like our labels are things that divide us but i think under the kind of gay woman umbrella i think they're actually quite important so wait what's my opinion on like all of the labels yeah so like the butch the Fam the Dyke Hasbeens there's so many

I was googling it there's so many labels I feel like you shouldn't have to pick a lane just be queer be yourself

you don't have to stick to one lane you can be whatever like being gay is just like being under an umbrella

of so many different categories that you can fit in. Like this is inclusivity is the main thing about being queer and just be who you want to be. But labels, I guess they do help certain people when it comes to like, you know, if someone asks you what's your type? Me personally, I would say more mask presenting with a femme side. So mask, you've got mask and femme. The femme presenting, is it like emotions or how they physically present?

It could be both. It could be either or. Okay, yeah, yeah, okay. It could be, you know, mask presenting with a femme side or femme presenting with a masculine side because you hear that term dom femme. Ah, I felt what that is. Dom femme is basically

when you have like a feminine presenting woman but she's the more you know assertive one in the relationship she's like the alpha one is that what you are just ask what are you I'm getting dom femme vibes labels labels labels

what are you I'll say I'm a black cat for sure I am black cat energy I was getting black cat energy when you were like slinking your way into the

slinking my way your hair was cut about and I was like yeah girl I would say I'm more of a black cat like femme dom femme energy

but someone can you know tame you yeah yeah yeah it depends on the person if they're like a mask

with like a feminine side who's soft yeah golden retriever I'm saying so many terms labels are bad but

you might as well just open the lesbian sorry might as well open the lesbian dictionary and just go for it but yeah but it makes sense though

weirdly we're talking about labels and how they can be yeah. But it makes sense though. Weirdly, we're talking about labels and how they can be quite limiting, but it makes sense to me what you're saying about, basically what you're saying is with the right person, you could switch a little bit. Also the inclusivity thing,

that's why the labels are important, right? Because it's basically like, you can be any of these things. Yeah. And if you see someone who's butch and you're like, maybe that's what I am. Exactly. And you can chop and change, right? 100%. you see someone who's butch and you're like maybe that's what I am exactly

and you can chop and change right 100% have you ever tried the butch thing okay so I have tried the you know more masculine

presenting thing and you know what I did like a little experiment in Wales so I dressed femme to a gay club you're dressing femme today though right

today 100% this is femme no not me I'm butch I'm like a yummy mummy today you're both you're both slaying either way you both look

ten out of ten oh babe but I did do a little experiment I went to a gay club in Cardiff so I dressed femme one day

absolutely dry as a bone like could not get any girls for the life of me and then like a week later I dressed a little bit, absolutely dry as a bone, like could not get any girls for the life of me. And then like a week later, I dress a little bit more masculine, had girls coming up to me saying like, oh my God, you're so pretty, this, that and the other. Do you want a drink? And I was like, maybe I should do this more often.

Maybe I should just test the waters a little bit. Going from femme to more. Just switch it up. Yeah. And like, because apparently there's a mask shortage. So, like, I had my hair... There's a mask shortage.

What has happened? I don't know. Maybe all the girlies are snatching the masks up. Oh, if I was a gay woman, I'd be masked, I think. Do you reckon? Yeah, like,

you know, like, Lena Waithe? Lena Waithe. Lena Waithe. Yeah, I was actually a denial champion. I was a name, sorry, I corrected you. Lena Waithe.

She's in Master of None. Yeah, I know who she is. I know who she is. She's in Master of None girls you know who she is I know who she is she's in Master of None yeah yeah yeah yeah Master of None I love that show Lena Waithe

no I love that show okay so for me that is what I would be I think her look is so sick where you'd have like a buzz cut she's so hot a buzz cut

I'd like everything have you seen Harlem anyone seen Harlem no I haven't okay this is pointless so I'm bi-curious oh but this is every time I think'm bi-curious. Oh.

But this is every time we... I think you'd be Ellen. Ellen? Ellen did you do this? Yeah. I'm like the relationship between Ellen and her wife. And Portia.

And Portia Russell. Oh, okay. You'd be the Ellen in the relationship. No, no, I need to be led. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing with women. Oh, but she likes femme.

Yeah, maybe you'll push her. So I want a dom femme. Oh. I want a dom femme. She, you want a dom femme. She's coming on to me, guys. Just say you're attracted to me. I am. You're cute.

But I just, because I mostly date guys, and I just haven't really, like I do match with women, but I just, I'm like, oh. Are you like scared to flirt? Is that the thing? No, no, no. It's not that I'm scared to flirt

it's that I cannot flirt let's just fucking like sort of like I cannot flirt men or women my thing is but the thing is see this is where I become

like stuck the way I flirt with guys I'm a bit mean to them and it's like rinsy and like whatever it's like very bantery like mates like I talk to Robina

but with women I feel like I need to be more respectful and the humour doesn't translate as much. No, it doesn't at all. Yes. It's very different. And I know that because I tried it.

Yeah. And this is the struggle that Demi had on the show because, like, obviously she's a baby gay and she's used to flirting with men. Yes. So she was mean to Fiorenza as a way of flirting and that translation didn't kind of travel

yeah because women we're not mean to each other no we're not men rinse us and because we're used to a society of like men rinsing other men

and therefore we have to be used to whatever the status quo is so I'm just like a bit mean a bit of a dick a bit of a jack the lad but that doesn't work

with women no not at all so what the fuck do I do you've got to be smooth I'm not smooth no it's all about like eye contact no but what if on a dating app what do I do you've got to be smooth I'm not smooth no it's all about like eye contact no but what if

on a dating app what do I do on a dating app I can't look at them on the dating app what do I say no I don't care about the dating app eye contact

let's have fun so we're in a bar we're in a bar me and Rueena are in a bar you're coming over what do you do to like tell us

do you know also what's your gaydar like oh it's so good do you think so good like genuinely I remember there was this woman in university and she What's your gaydar like? Oh, it's so good. Do you think? So good. Like genuinely. I remember there was this woman in university and she said, oh no, I'm straight, I'm straight.

And like she was giving me kind of bi vibes. Okay. And I literally said to my ex-girlfriend at the time, I was like, she's bi, 100%. That 19 year old. Yeah. And then like we broke up obviously. And she, like this girl called me up. She was like, you want to come out? And then she was in the bar. The night that we broke up, she was like she, like, this girl called me up. She was like, you want to come out? And then she was in the bar.

Like, the night that we broke up, she was, like, feeling on my boobs and everything. She said, like, come outside. And she literally kissed me. And then we slept over that night. No way. So what do you do? So you've got to eye fuck them,

which we know I can't do. Literally eye fuck them. Yeah, I can't do that. I don't think I have any gay dar. Like, I don't think I'd be able to tell if someone was gay or straight, ever. Oh, you've got to have it. You've got to have it.

You've just got to have it. So then after the eyes, how, like, so this is a problem. be able to tell if someone was gay or straight, ever. Oh, you've got to have it. You've got to have it. You've just got to have it. So then after the eyes, how, like, this is a problem. I talk to them like they're dudes and they're not dudes, obviously. No. So what do you do? So you have to be kind and compliment them. Give me some tips. Okay, I'd say you have to be, obviously, be complimentary.

Yes. We like love languages. Yes. And then you have to look them in their eyes and just be kind of slower. You just have to be sensual. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And don't be too, like, men are very forward.

Okay. Okay. That's okay. I'm actually, like, enraptured. I'm, like, hypnotised by your spell right now. Just you telling me how to flirt. I'm just like, oh. Yeah, you just have to be more like, well that I know what I like when women approach me I like

that kind of smooth vibe and like slow yeah and it gets something that gets you flustered essentially I love the word lesbian it's a great word I know but like isn't there that cliche that like lesbians fall in love really hard with each other and get married like really really quickly oh yeah and the gay relationships I know are relationships like been together for 20 years type relationships

I know lesbians just move really fast I can't help it I heard that in the day why? I think because we're much we're emotional we're in sync

we talk about our feelings more whereas guys bottle everything up anyway and just don't talk about it and then just don't talk and then they're like we talk about everything communication is key in a queer relationship do you know what i do sometimes

stay up late with my male partner wanting to him to talk to me and i'm like you know then he's just like i'm sleeping like why are we in bed talking i'm like i try to be like in the movies or we're like chatting to each other all night in bed and he's like no i'm not your girlfriend and i was like yeah no that would never happen in a lesbian relationship or a queer relationship. I promise you, if you bring up a problem in a queer relationship, they're going to be like, OK, tell me about it. What can we fix? It's literally therapy. And I love it. But at the same time, you're like, have I even prepared myself for this conversation? I went into this. I brought up the conversation have I prepared myself for it oh but for losing three days yeah I know lip sync equals I love you equals moving in equals

you haul you haul I heard this this time you hauling a relationship you haul relationship what does that mean so you know in America they have that moving company you haul so you haul is when you're like in a relationship like a really short period of time and then you literally move in with that person yeah it's a U-Haul relationship after two weeks you're living together

and you buy a cat oh my god oh my god lesbians love a cat lesbians love in all forms I don't think I can keep the pace of a lesbian

I couldn't keep the pace I couldn't keep that kind of pace you definitely couldn't keep that pace I couldn't keep that pace no no no Poppy's like

I got many many walls to get through before you get to Poppy yeah no no I've, no. Poppy's like, I got many, many walls together before you get to Poppy. Yeah, no, no. I've got a roster. I'm like, okay, bye, see you later. Oh, we love a roster. I'm not you-hauling anything.

But only because I've just come, only just, two years ago, I came out of a 10-year relationship, so I'm having my, I'm in my whole era. Oh, we love that though. We support it.

Oh, good. A hundred percent. Good, good, good, good, good. Go through the motions. Date who you need to date. Get those, shit, you guys, actually... Get them out of your system

and then come back to us. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to bring you over to the dark side. Please! I'm honestly... I'm doing it... I knew I was doing it all wrong because I'm like,

oh, I'm bad. And it's like, it doesn't fucking work. I need to set you up with someone. Not with other men. Not with the women. It's your style. It'd be weird if you did it any other way.

Yeah, exactly. You'd be like if you did it any other way yeah exactly you'd be like really creepy you give off like a gay vibe did you? yeah you do because I I absolutely

fancy I do absolutely fancy women there's no doubt so your order was kissing was

mouth boobs vagine neck boobs is last boobs is last sorry it was

mouth neck vagine ass boobs my neck my back lit my pussy

and my crack that's a B okay who told you how to kiss yeah myself and I yeah how do you so you know when you start

to learn to kiss with your own hand no I never did that you So you know when you start To learn to kiss With your own hand No I never did that You never did that Don't worry You're not on your own babe Come on Every teenager

Kissed their own hand For practice No I do That's how I know Both of you are shit kissers I've done all the practice hours No I actually did that

She's amazing I've seen her All of you The kissing game On I Kissed A Girl Compared to something Like Love Island Oh my God.

Let's just say you have to kiss a lot of frogs. And you have to have... Kissing is two-sided. You can be a shit kisser with a shit kisser. Do you know what I mean? And then not know that either of you are shit. Exactly. No, I think a shit kiss feels like a shit kiss.

It's like, I know I'm being shit right now because you're being shit right now. But that shit kisser will kind of, I't know lead the kiss and you're like oh you know what piss off yeah I'm done can I say something really uh this is so obnoxious even when I'm with a shit kisser I'm like I know I'm better than you like I'm trying to get you out of teeth teeth teeth or yeah too much tongue tongue tongue like i know i'm trying to orchestrate and finesse the situation but like i am a fucking great kisser genuinely i really slide into my dms you think i'm shit i'll see so slide into mine you can tell me the truth i know like when people go too fast or there's like too much like tongue i think it's all about relaxed lips as well if anyone's too tense coming to your mouth you're just like

what you've got to have like a relaxed pillowy lip for both of you and then it kind of lands and then it has to do that

for a bit with no tongue no tongues don't jump into the yeah slow your own I can't like me and you kind of went straight

into tongues did you but I think I think there's a time and place for straight into tongues like you're it's like

you're horny hot dance floor and you're just like fuck you get in but some of the girls were like oh yeah place for straight into tongues. It's like your horny, hot dance floor. And you're just like, fuck, you get in. But some of the girls were like, oh, yeah, I didn't use tongues. And I was like, me and Naomi were looking at each other. At all? At all. Me and Naomi were looking at each other like.

What's the best kiss you've ever had? Is it on the show and you can't tell us because it's coming? Oh, you've really gone. You've really gone. I can see it in your eyes. You've gone back to that room. I just want to say that I can't give too much away, but I do know my best kiss

and I can't say too much, so. Why, because they're current? Well, yeah, I'll give it away, sorry. Oh. I can't say too much. Oh, God, you're leaving us a gentle hug. Let's just say.

Can you say one more, like tiny, give us a tiny little, why was it an amazing kiss? They know me and they know my body. Oh, it's someone you know

that you're looking to kiss. Okay, okay. Let's just say it definitely gets juicy towards the end. There's a lot to come.

Oh, it's on the show. Yeah. There's a lot to come. Producer Gronja's face is like she's dying

she's like a mega fan and she's like stop the production tell us there's a lot of emotion there's a lot of twists and turns a lot of drama

I know that I am I do come under a bit of heat in the episodes to come and between the girls yeah there's a lot of back and forth

in so wow and this thing is there's always dramas with girls I don't care what you say but like girls oh there is come on now

I'm not being sexist by saying it we you know we care a lot about each other yes it's because we care yeah I'm really enjoying

this fucking episode because I think there's so much to kissing would you rather never kiss or never have sex never have sex I'd rather kiss

because you can do what about you babe wait what counts as sex would you rather never kiss again or never have sex what counts as sex

anything and everything I feel like I could find a loophole for sure 100% I could find a loophole I got a loophole for sure

okay but you said you're going to go with your first answer you said never yeah I could find a loophole for sure. I love how you did that. I could find a loophole. I got a loophole for sure. Okay, but you said, you're going to go with your first answer. You said never. Yeah. Never have sex. Yeah, I think the same. Never have sex.

Kissing is like so much more intimate to me. Okay. I am so tortured when I say this. I want you both to know on record, on record, that I'm finding really difficult to say this after all after having just said how much I enjoyed doing this episode

but I need to have sex yeah really but I am so angry at myself for picking I'm so I'm really fighting this

I need to have sex more than kissing how could you I don't even think I could have sex with somebody who I'm kissed think about how often

you have sex compared to like in a relationship you kiss think about it like that little moment compared to like in a relationship you kiss think about it like that little moment of intimacy when you say hello

when you say goodbye can I do like a 49-51 no that's no you asked the question I know I did because it was hard for me

and you guys were like yeah kissing obviously and I'm like fuck it has to be kissing come on you can change your answer okay let's see how I feel by the end of the episode.

Okay. Were you guys banging on I Kissed A Girl? I mean, there is an episode recently that came out where we talk about the knee thing. What knee thing? You don't know the knee thing? No. Okay, so the knee thing is basically a strategically placed knee on the vagine. What, like a dry, humping knee? Okay, no, no, no. This is the vagine. This is the vagine. What, like a dry,

humping knee? Okay, no, no, no. This is the vagine. This is the vagine. This is the knee. No, no, let her explain it. Well, I'm doing it for diagram.

No, I'm allowed to explain it. Okay, sorry, yeah, go on. Okay, so, say, oh God. Why are you getting all coy and shy? We're literally too,

look at our faces. Fuck it, fuck it. Your legs are open, right? Yeah. You got someone on top of you their knee is kind of grinding against

their thigh area yeah their thigh or your thigh are kind of like going up against your it's like dry humping

your vagine yeah okay I'm gonna love a dry hump yeah and obviously you can't do too much on the show

so we talk about the knee thing and that's what Ney did do they say that you can't get you to on the show, so we talk about the knee thing and that's what Ney did. Do they say that you can't get you to orgasm? Oh, I bet you any money. It depends on what kind of... Yeah, what gets you off, right?

Yeah, it depends on what gets you going, babe. Did production say you couldn't have sex? No, they never said that. Oh, okay. They just said that, you know... It's advisable not to. There's cameras, guys. Yeah, exactly.

I think it's due to under the sheets. Me and Ney got quite frisky. Frisky. There's cameras, guys. Yeah, exactly. I think me and A got quite frisky. Yeah. Under the sheets and we had to cover ourselves a few times but the knee thing did happen.

They aired it and that was revealed. Yeah. Knee gate. Yeah. The knee thing. And then like people were saying in the comments

like, oh yeah, I'm straight and even I know what the knee thing is and I was like, I didn't fucking know that. I'm going home tonight and getting kneed. That sounds violent. Like getting kneed in the machine. He's going to be like, what?

Can you do the knee thing? Yeah, he would definitely be like, what? Someone said, I did the knee thing on my boyfriend. I was like, that's going to fucking hurt. Exactly. hurt I was so confused oh my god I literally oh I can't you revealed on the show that you once got engaged to someone that you met online can you tell us the story I can I can indeed so basically um on Hinge. I put my location in London. And I was scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. I absolutely like, didn't like anyone came across this woman. I was like, Oh, she's American. Cool. Like she liked me, liked her back. We got talking. She was like,

Hey, hey, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And next thing you you know we've been FaceTiming talking you hauling you hauling she told me eventually like she lives in America I was like whatever it's fine

you're gonna be my little pen pal talking for like about two months and then next thing you know like we're FaceTiming every single day mind and she

when we're on FaceTime she was like oh by the way this is around Christmas she was like I got I got you some in and I was like would you get me and she when we're on facetime she was like oh by the way this is around christmas she was like i got i got you some in and i was like would you get me and she was like i bought you a ring she bought me a whole diamond ring and she showed it to me on facetime how many weeks after how many two months two months and i was like oh my god it's like we were talking in August

and then I kind of like aired her for a little bit and then we got back talking and then she bought me a ring after two months that's a U-Haul on crack on crack

and we never met each other and I literally cried you never met each other did you get your ring oh my god we never met what happened and so I was just like

oh my god what do we what do I do I just said yes and then we were what you said yes and then we were and then she got deployed overseas she's in the army the u.s military oh my god this is you are full of wild stories i know she got this is like being in an episode of star plus i will tell you another wild

story after this because you will absolutely be flabbergasted so why were this bloody military lady so she's in the army you've never met her she's proposed to you you say yes she got deployed and while she was deployed she was absolutely miserable because she was basically living in a tin can um in the desert and for nine months and we were like it was just this back and forth just like oh my god like this is not gonna work so we broke up and then that's when I applied for the show and went on the show I know and then so she might be dead what do you mean she might be dead she's in the army god forbid god forbid so your your rebound relationship is going on yeah wow pretty much if we hadn't have broken up and I wouldn't have gone on the show, I don't know how long it would have been.

Genuinely, I think I would have waited because she thought I was a catfish because my legs were so hairy. She didn't even believe that I had legs. I wouldn't show her. My legs literally look like my brother's legs. They're not hairy now. They are hairy.

I'm not going to lie. They are hairy somewhat. Okay. I think... They're not... Oh, they're stubbly. They are hairy somewhat. Okay. I think. They're not. Oh, they're stubbly. They're stubbly for now. But they used to be.

I mean, she thought you were a catfish, but she still proposed to you. Yeah. So this is wild. She's just as insane as me. How old was she? She was 27. What? Yeah.

Wow. I know. I wonder where that ring is. In a pawn shop. In the sea. Wow. What's. Wonder where that ring is. In a porn shop. In the sea. Wow. What's your other wild story? Okay, so here's the, I think this is even, no, it can't be.

I don't know. You can tell me whether it's more wild. So basically I was seeing, she was American as well. She was a footballer and I met her on Tinder. We'd been seeing each other for a few months and then it was my birthday and she took me out for a birthday meal. We went back to her place and she was, it was around, what was it, around midnight? And she was using my strap. Like your strap on? My strap, yeah.

Is that bad? What is that? I don't understand. Was that bad? Like I let her use it. Okay. Like I let her use it on me. Okay. I let her use it on me. Okay. And then, like, she... I don't know. After this shit sex, she's getting dressed,

and she's like, I'm going to go see a friend. On my birthday, mind. In her apartment. She was like, I'm going to go see a friend. You were in her apartment? Mm-hmm. You've just had sex. She's putting on her clothes to go and see her friend

and leave you in her apartment? Yeah, on my birthday. Rude. No, and then I said, what are you doing? It's birthday she looks at the time she's like it's past midnight it's not your birthday anymore did she expect you to leave no she just let me stay there and then obviously she leaves this is not the wild part she leaves and then she's like taking her bag with her i'm looking around i. I'm basically naked. I'm looking around. I'm like, where's my strap? And she took my strap to go fuck another girl on my birthday. And then she didn't come back until the morning. And I leave her building to take myself out to a brunch, a post-birthday brunch.

And as soon as I'm coming out of the building, she comes out of taxi in the same clothes, in the same tote bag with my strap in, strap in, strap on, and literally walk. She follows me all the way to brunch. I ignore her. She's like, Priya, Priya.

I ignore her. She literally forces herself to sit with me at brunch, still with the strap in her bag. Use Dutty's strap on another another girl and then she cancels your brunch with all these other friends so you're now you're having brunch with her and then what happens i accidentally spill a mimosa on her that's what happens that is way great but that wasn't the end oh my god what i literally her again. And it's her finals tournament. Like they're in the finals of the cup.

And stupid old me, I bake her a carrot cake from scratch because it's her favourite cake. This is post-Strapgate. Post. Oh my God. I know, I'm an idiot. And then I go all the way with this cake in my hands, like a dickhead.

And I'm sitting in the stand. She didn't even play. She was benched the whole game. And then I'm just sitting there with this cake like a nerd. Like, here you go, darling. The one who cheated on me. And you weren't even playing. I know.

It was so cringe. We need to provide an intervention right now. Are you still friends with this person? Because she does not sound like a good egg. No. She has texted me, though. She has said, oh, I've seen you on the show. Okay.

She's clout chasing then, obviously, because she didn't treat you... She applied for the show, actually. Oh, and she didn't get it. Benched again, bitch. Period. Good one. Did you get your strap back?

No. Oh, God, no. I did cut her little straps up into like a little accordion shape. Oh. Yeah, I got my own back. Oh, my God. But there's not much I could have...

I don't know if I'm ready to join your side, man. There's a lot of fucking drama. Lesbians are drama. Yeah, you've got a lot going on. I just have to say, I don't think it's so central and gentle. No, I feel like you have to have a lot of thick skin. You have.

You need to find the right one, though. We're not all like that, I promise you. No, of course, of course. I'm like you have to have a lot of thick skin. You have. You need to find the right one, though. We're not all like that, I promise you. No, of course, of course. I'm like 99% joking. I just pick some bad eggs, genuinely. I pick some really bad eggs. Do you think you're going through your bad egg era? No, I'm over it.

Okay, good. I'm done. Because I think all of us, like, you just go through, like, whether it's toxic men, toxic women, you're like, it's a bit self-destructive, isn't it? You go through that like, fuck it. Yeah. You've reached the Shaggy Auntie's call centre.

Want advice you can't ask your real aunties for? Like, how do you ask for what you want in bed? Not sure which hole is a goal? Where do anal beads really go? Have you been faking orgasms your whole adult life? Accidentally called your boss daddy? Is your long-time love not going down south? For more than just the tip, we're here for you. Yes, you. And you. And you. Priya, we've got this feature on Brown Girls Do It Too called Shagging Aunties. And at the end of each episode, we help a listener out with a dilemma. And we'd really appreciate some of your advice.

So, Robina, you've got to say the T's and C's. Here's a disclaimer. Please remember to ask the bill payer's permission before calling us. Shagging Aunties are not medical professionals and bear no responsibility for the consequences of your own actions. So today's listener dilemma is, I would love your advice, please. Well, that's what we're here for. I've been with my partner for seven years and we've grown out of the habit of proper kissing.

I'm not talking pecs. I'm talking sensual, slow, butterfly-inducing, French kissing with tongues. And I really miss it in my life. I'm worried I'll never have it again. How and when do I bring it up to him without offending? It feels very awkward. Priya, what's your advice?

You don't bring it up. You just do. You create an atmosphere, you know, put on, like, a film maybe with candles, you know, set the scene, and then you just, you know, know just they're your partner that's your person yeah you can do whatever with each other don't feel shy don't feel like it's awkward it it makes it awkward if you have to talk about it just do and that's what I've learned anyway like I think it kind of kills the mood a little bit when you have to talk about it.

I agree with you because I think in some things in sex and relationships, you do have to talk and communication is key. But I think kissing is one of the rare things that you can just show, not tell. Yeah. Like when he's pecking you, grab him closer and then do that. The butterfly inducing is your spine drop thing exactly like just off guard yeah like hold him closer and do what you want like lead lead the kissing tango when you're expecting it like it kind of takes the magic out of it like I know that when I've been with like you know partners when they kind of just like look me in my eyes look me up and

down like they want to eat me like that's when I get that tingling that tingling feeling and they kind of it feels like a first date again like you're yeah you're on a first date and they you feel desired yeah and I'm sure that's what your partner wants to feel as well like you have to make your partner feel like that just as well as yourself the whole package the whole package so what would you say I would say talk about it really yeah I would I think after you've been with someone for a long time

you're both very busy you're both kind of take each other for granted a little bit and it's really important in a relationship to check in because he might be like

or she might be thinking I'm not really thinking about that right now and actually if they come in for a kiss I don't even have the headspace for it

like you've got to you've got to get into your partner's head and be like this is my thing but then again I feel like even have the headspace for it. Like, you've got to get into your partner's head and be like, this is my opinion. But then again, I feel like that's one more thing they have to be like, you know, worrying about. Like, oh, once you put that in their head, they're like, oh, does my partner think I don't desire them

because I don't kiss them enough? I think you should absolutely put that in your partner's head if you're feeling that. Really? If you feel like you're not being desired by your partner, you should absolutely project to them and say, do you not fancy me anymore because the worst

that you could possibly do is end up in a relationship with somebody who doesn't fancy you and you know that and you're sitting in this relationship doing nothing about it

ladies I've got a happy medium what she does or he does is tries our approach first and if they're still being met by a fucking peck that is

then you do the challenge 100% because I think you show maybe once, twice, and if they're still not getting it, sit down, pass the peas, salt and pepper, listen.

Oh yeah, if that doesn't work, don't just pretend like it never happened. A hundred percent. Don't like deep it. You don't have to be like, let's sit down and have a conversation about why we're not kissing anymore. Just be like,

I want to snog you. I want to have sex with you. If I haven't had sex with my partner in the time that is too long when I'm suddenly feeling horny and feeling unsatisfied, I'll be like, I want to have sex. I have really enjoyed having you on Brown Girls Do It Too, honestly. And I think kissing is just never going to get old, clearly. And we'd rather kiss than fuck. No other animals kiss, I don't think.

Who came up with kissing? Who was the first person to kiss someone? I actually think chimpanzees do kiss. fuck no other animals kiss I don't think who came up with kissing who was the first person to kiss someone I actually think chimpanzees do kiss do chimpanzees I don't know I don't think any other animals kiss dolphins

do dolphins kiss other animals no they play they play other animals kiss dogs oh look camels I wasn't expecting that either chimpanzees and

bonobos do kiss yeah monkeys that's fine so I mean as one of the species that love to kiss I'm't expecting that either chimpanzees and bonobos do kiss yeah monkeys that's fine so I mean as one of the species that love to kiss I'm really glad that belongs to us

yeah I'm really glad I'm a human because I can kiss but I could have been kissed if I was a chimpanzee or bonobo well so just do more kissing

kiss more kiss more exactly don't not strangers someone you love kiss someone you love yeah or family

or family but a different type of kissing yeah that's a different type of kissing it's a different type of kissing yeah yeah yeah that's a different type of kissing don't snog your dad and on that note thank you so much

for coming on Brown Girls Do It 2 thank you so much for having me thank you so much for listening to this episode I've had so much fun

did you have fun? it was really good it was really good I can't wait to have my next kiss yeah me too if you do have any thoughts or questions

you can email us at browngirlsdoit2 at bbc.co.uk sorry I was like thinking about kissing and lining up my next kiss on my Instagram she's ready

you're round we'll put out an SOS call alert or you can send a whatsapp or voice note to 07968

100 8 2 2 can send a WhatsApp or voice note to 07968 100 822.