Brown Girls Do It Too - Seduction with Sadia Azmat

Episode Date: February 19, 2021

Poppy & Rubina are joined by comedian and writer Sadia Azmat to talk about dressing seductively. Sadia says her look often confuses guys and she struggles to let them know that she is open to sex! In an amazingly open and honest discussion about what you wear and what it says about you, Poppy, Rubina and Sadia talk about the expectations of Asian women, losing your virginity in an Essex hotel, and very very messy sex.

BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts. Brown girls do it too. Yeah. From the BBC Asian Network. Hi, I'm Poppy and my desert island dish would be a burger. I know I sound basic, but I just love a good burger. God damn it. Hi, I'm Robina and my desert island dish would be ice cream.

I have the sweetest tooth and I guess it's no real surprise that a lot of Asians do get diabetes. Shout out to diabetes. Actually no that's not right shout out is it? No. That's inappropriate. But both my parents have diabetes. Oh my god snap! Both my parents have type 2 diabetes. Sorry. And this is season 2 of Brown Girls Do It Too available on BBC Sounds. So whilst we may seem like the type you could take home to your mother, we also have a rather flowery grasp of the English language. We do swear and are quite smutty, if I do say so myself. So if this makes you feel in any way uncomfortable, then you should check out the hundreds of other podcasts on the BBC Sounds app,

as this is a consensual show. And in today's episode episode we are talking about the art of dressing seductively really that's that's what you got it's like a flaccid penis let me give it a try hang on sounded like a little twitty bird i think we need to work on our whistles we are talking about the art of dressing seductively so whether you're dressing up or dressing down, wearing a little lace to donning something sheer, what counts as sexy?

The classic red lipstick is synonymous with sex and power. So it only makes sense for both myself and Rubina to do this episode in bright red lippy. Nice. I mean, that's like an orangey red, isn't it? That's like an orangey red you're wearing. Yeah, I wish I could find the shade and tell you the name of it.

Something like Scarlet Night. Mine is from MAC, and this is the iconic Ruby Woo color that everyone wears, whether you're brown, black, white, doesn't matter. But apparently you're supposed to wear the red lipstick according to your shade. So I've got like a yellowy greenish tinge, but you might have like a bluish tinge.

And that's how you match your red lipstick apparently. Ah, interesting. I always thought it was supposed to, you're supposed to do the colour of your pussy lips. And that's like what it's about. Where did you hear that? Is that actually true? Well, I mean, isn't that like what lips are about?

That's why you paint them red. Are your, is your vagina the same? Are your flaps the same colour as your lips? I would have to find a lipstick colour that was kind of a brownie purple. To be honest, mine's covered in hair at the moment. So I haven't seen it in a while. Lockdown three pandemic vibes. We will also be talking to the hilarious comedian Sadia Azmat,

who is a British Pakistani East Londoner. You may know Sadia from her BBC podcast, No Country for Young Women. We'll be talking to her about the acts of dressing sexy and what that's like when you choose to wear a headscarf. And we would love for you to slide into our DMs and our emails. I promise we do read every single message. You can contact us at browngirlsdoittoo at bbc.co.uk. Remember to use the hashtag browngirlsdoittoo. You can also tweet at BBC Asian Network and at BBC Sounds. If you like the vibe and you're into this kind of chat, then please do subscribe and download on BBC Sounds.

So Poppy, what do you do when you want to look sexy? I think I just focus on the face, babes. I don't dress sexily. I don't think. What do you do? You don't dress sexily. You don't think that you ever try to kind of sex up. Okay. So how much time do you have? 28 minutes on a podcast. So I'll be quick. Uh, so, uh, very conservative household, Bangladeshi household, um, told to dress up, you know, cover up, you know. I mean, I know I keep going back to this, but I had to wear bloody cello camisa, Chessington World of Adventures, you know. That's how conservative my parents were. Couldn't wear

jeans till I was, couldn't wear a pair of jeans till I was 18, 19. So constantly covering up. Also, I wore a headscarf till I was 18. And then I had no no one as I'm sure you did when we were growing up you had no brown role models or fuller figured role models and you kind of internalize it and then your body dysmorphia and then the damage is done and it's kind of very it's very difficult to to come away from that now you're seeing you know you look at Rihanna's Fenty brand and it's so inclusive of plus size models women in head scarves you know you've at Rihanna's Fenty brand and it's so inclusive of plus size models women in head scarves you know you've got Muslim hijabi models running the catwalk on in D&G you've got you know icons like Maya Jama you know they're for this generation we didn't really have people

like that growing up no I think also the whole idea of like looking sexy and being sexy was for me like the only thing I can think of being young and thinking something was sexy or being told that it was was um did you ever watch Who Framed Roger Rabbit oh my god Jessica Rabbit Jessica Rabbit right she was so smoking that was what sexy was it was like tiny waist massive ass huge tits and also long red hair Jessica Rabbit and like women like that are the things that I thought was sexy and that's why but. But I kind of agree with you. Growing up, I was never, never thought of myself as sexy. I was really tall, so taller than any kind of potential partner, like standing out in all the school photos. Had a moustache. I mean, I've spoken about my braces and all that stuff. But I remember the time, I've got really long legs, like really, really long. And I remember

the first time I had them waxed and I was like, know I was like 12 or something really young and I went to a party and I wore a short skirt and this is how insecure I was a guy came up to me and he said to me oh my god your legs are sexy right I was 12 so like a bit too young to even really be hearing that and I burst out into tears because I just didn't understand that and never felt that way about myself and had like loads of issues I was like he must be taking the piss because it's not possible for anyone to like me like that yeah it's quite sad isn't it i feel i want to give you a hug but i i know what you mean it's like we i mean i i never had anyone say that to me ever i wore a cello camisa school had like sideburns coming out of my headscarf by the time i got to the bus stop like nothing about me was

cool and then you grow up with so many kind of issues. And also we grew up in the age of magazines. So you never saw anyone that looked like you in the magazine. And for so long, I mean, my style icons was Kate Moss and Alexa Chung. I do not have the same body as Kate bloody Moss and Alexa bloody Chung. So I think none of that stuff helped I would say it's only in my 30s that I'm like maybe dressing a bit sexy like I think I've I dress very conservatively usually I do I think you still do actually I would say I show more skin than you

do definitely but I don't know I don't know where that comes from but I you know I think you because you often wear quite like long skirts or trousers and like you kind of keep your fit quite baggy which actually is quite cool um but I I definitely try and experiment with a couple of like tight things but I I'm wearing like this top is the lowest cut I'll ever go and it's not even really showing it's not even showing cleavage you know I mean there's no line yeah there's I mean yeah that's not really low push them up together I can maybe get something oh nice it's like a lopsided cleavage i love it the left boob is getting way more sport than the right um but i yeah i mean i i look dressing sexily i i don't know what counts i mean for me i'd probably like probably show my bum i think i've got a good ass you'd show your bum no as in

oh i mean, no, I'd wear like something form, like tight fitting. Tight fitting around the ass. But I get really conscious of it. I don't like getting attention for my ass. It's a very weird kind of weird paradigm I'm in. Like I don't like getting attention for it, but I know if I want to get attention, I can show the ass.

I mean, the first time I went clubbing, I wore corduroy trousers to oceana who does that like at the time i was like i'm cool but also at the time i was like this is not cool because all the girls were wearing short you know short dresses i've never i've always wanted to be that girl that wears high heels and like a short strapless little dress. Oh yeah. I've always wanted to be that girl, but I'm just like, I'm not comfortable. I'm not confident in myself enough to be that girl.

So same. And I think social media has such a big role in playing with that. Cause I think often I can't wear lots of stuff because I don't have a washboard stomach. I just don't. I have like a round Indian belly that like, I've come to love in a good way, it's um yeah I just I can make some

of those outfits look the way that they do I have like lumps and bumps in all the potentially good places and bad places like I know that my current partner told me that if I got skinnier it might put him off a bit because he's quite into something to grab on to I think this is it isn't it most men are like yeah I do want some meat I want a bit of junk on the trunk but I'm like for so long I've been like thigh gap thigh gap uh it's really it's really messed with my head actually I don't have um there's no body confidence I mean I'm getting better but I wish I had the sort of body confidence that I see in some of the influences on the gram or on social media oh for sure do you ever wear like sexy lingerie or

no literally like i think i think we covered this in series one like i have a i used to have a bra which i've now thrown since series one that was literally hanging on by a thread like i have no nice lingerie i know like nothing sexy nothing k like just nothing. Because I just grew up with like, you know, we're asking each other what counts as sexy. I mean, it was just barely on the agenda. Like when you wear a headscarf, you don't feel sexy. For me, wearing a headscarf, it was the antithesis of being sexy, right? And I know a lot of women hearing this might be like, hang on a second, you can still be sexy and wear a headscarf. And of course you can. You just have to open up your social media to see a plethora of beautiful young women wearing the headscarf and looking amazing. But for me, for that time, it was just

the opposite of sexy. So I just, I never really, you know, explored that avenue. Also, I just want to be sexy with my personality and my fun jokes, you know what I mean? And your hair. Your hair is definitely something that's quite sexy. Well, I mean, I know it's a well-known fact. If I chopped this off, I'd had nothing left. You know what I mean? Let's just call a spade a spade.

Your hair is your power. There are lots of women who think that, that their hair is their power. My hair is my power. And because I had to cover my hair, I was just like, well, you know, I just look like a boy in a scarf because I had a very strong jawline, you see. What about like suspenders and a garter belt and stuff? Have you ever like seen that and thought like, oh, I'm going to try that. That's quite sexy. I would like to try it.

Maybe that's another thing to add to my list, actually. And I just for comfort way too much all the time. I wish I could like just an off the shoulder number or like a boob tube or like show my body a bit more. But I think the truth is I'm not comfortable. Like I just, I get attention and I'm like, ah, I don't want to get attention for this. Yeah. When I was about 15, I went to visit my cousin in Manchester and she's a body con, fake eyelashes type girl. At least she was. She's got kids now. We were young and i went out went up there and i went in my jeans and my t-shirt because i'm really casual dresser uh and i wasn't really kind of aware of my body bits and i've got quite large breasts and she put me in a bodycon dress and straightened my hair and i wore fake eyelashes and like a full

face of makeup for the first time i have never got more attention in my entire life it was eyes eyes eyes like every guy was coming over to speak to me i felt like i felt like a magician actually you felt like dynamo like i was doing tricks and everyone was just interested and i was suddenly like this is what it is to be a woman this is why women do this to feel powerful to go out there and get all these get all this attention and really own the room um there's definitely a little part of me i'd be lying if i said there isn't a little part of me that wants to be like that body con eyelashes like stiletto heel girl okay because i've always i've always wanted to walk a day in her shoe well a night in her shoes and be like, oh my God.

And then that attention is really powerful. And I think, you know, you often hear that phrase, she's asking for it, which is obviously very fucked and very problematic. But sometimes you are asking for it, but you're asking for attention. You're also asking, you're not asking, it's like, I want to have the power to be able to say no,

but I do want, I do like the attention yeah totally but it's really this is but this is if you were a troll listening in i saw this literally the other day on instagram it's like you like the attention but then you complain when he when he when he gives you attention you know what i mean it's it's that kind of it's that constant fine line isn't it but that's because it's much more complicated than you're asking for or you're not because you the way that you present whether you put makeup on whether you dress in a certain way it's an image that you're projecting out so you do want people to look in it's just natural it's how we are as human beings we want i want you to be able to see my eyes and my face and my expressions and my clothes and have this vision of who you think i

am that doesn't necessarily mean i'm asking you to overpower me in some way no that's not what it's about the power thing is a really interesting concept because I think all I mean personally I think if you're blonde and have blue eyes you have an incredible power still in our society that's to do with race and that's to do with a whole separate thing but if you're sexy and you can wear tight clothes and you can show off your cleavage with a smile on your face and feel no self-consciousness. I think that's so fucking cool. That's so powerful and that's sexy. Like that is just sexy, just being that confident.

Yeah, I literally, I wish I could just, you know, go to the local supermarket, buy a paper with, I mean, I have no cleavage, literally, there's nothing there, but I wish I had the power to wear. I've never worn a mini skirt in my entire life. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah, because I just hate my legs.

And that's, but I just, I've never, I don't think I've, have I dressed sexily? Like I wear like a long T dress and wear like banging earrings. You know, but you're so sexy. You just don't see yourself like that. I think that's the. No, thank you, babes.

But I don't, but I don't do the bodycon thing. I don't do the kind of the typical conventional dress sexy i just don't but i think what's gonna happen is and i said this to my friend the other day i was like we're gonna be 57 everything's gonna be drooping and that's cool and we're gonna regret that we didn't take those opportunities when we should have done i was mostly giving myself this pep talk so this summer bitches i'm coming out in a boob tube nice yeah I was thinking one of my resolutions for this year would be to take a picture of myself naked and print it and keep it somewhere well I've still got to send that nude which I haven't done

by the way but I totally will I think I think it just keeps some posterity on this body because like you're right it's all going to change so I'd like to kind of enjoy the bits I enjoy. When you have been on a night out, out, out, or on the pool, how do you dress? And has, I imagine you have been successful, but like how do you dress? What persona do you give out? What aura do you give out? Interesting, I don't know.

I mean, I think the sexiest I've ever dressed out probably was I remember it was a summer when I felt like my body was pretty good and I was feeling pretty confident. And I wore this kind of like, this isn't gonna sound really sexy as I remember it was a summer when I felt like my body was pretty good and I was feeling pretty confident and I wore this kind of like this isn't gonna sound really sexy as I describe it but bear with me it's like a crocheted t-shirt that's like white crochet and then like I just wore a black bra underneath so you can kind of see you can see bits but then I just wore jeans so like everything else was kind of casual but the top was like definitely sexy um and I pulled that night quite hard uh and i remember

i remember thinking like you know i kind of went out with a specific intention and i was like you know you know when you want to pull because you go out you get drunk and you look around the room to see who's checking you out and you wait to make eye contact with someone sexy and then you just either walk over to them if you've got confidence you you wait for them to come to you. And then you'd have a couple of bits of chat. Next thing, mouth on mouth action. I, honest to God, I've just, I don't think I've ever been like, this is a sexy outfit.

I try to, like I said, I try to wow them with my personality or my shit jokes, or I talk to them because I'm like, I'm going to get you through speech. That's how I'm going to lure you in. Okay, chat. I'm really, suppose in indian weddings and asian weddings and stuff like a sari is quite sexy oh yeah i think i've looked sexier

wearing a sari going to a wedding full of muslims than i have in a club jokes on me when you put lipstick on today for example after you put it on were you like sexy oh my god oh i i took about a million selfies and i posted something i'm like i'm not gonna wait let this waste it's it's funny what i feel about clothes is very much the opposite of what i feel about my face and makeup so you know when you go you know when you do like day to night evening wear you know you go from day to night in terms of like, all right, I'm at work and I'm going out or out, out. I just put more makeup on and put earrings on and just like zhuzh up the hair. Yeah.

Zhuzhing the hair. That's it. It's like, like you just come out of bed. Like you just, but like that, that was a whole movement. Do you remember? It was like smoky eyes. Eyes and like bedhead, bedhead. And bedhead.

And that was to look like you've just been out all night, like shagging. And now your hair is all like crazy. You can thank kate moss for that i think sexy's car i think sexy's a mindset i really do i think it's like a mindset in a way you carry yourself i remember being at a party um after being bruce lee dumped and a friend had said uh i said to a friend like oh i haven't really met anyone since then like i'm just being single you know enjoying my life holding onto my glass of wine and being like oh i'm a hitman and but i remember she said to me god that's so crazy because you're like one of the sexiest people i know and i was like that moves me and i feel like sexy is just like people people see these things in you that you don't see and so you should just focus on how

you see yourself rather than what other people say about you but it's so hard to do it is really hard and i and i think going back to what your friend said to you, it's that classic thing. I shared something on my Insta stories the other day. It's like when a boy compliments you, you're like, mm-hmm. But when a girl compliments you, you're like, yeah, okay, yeah, I feel good. Yes, true. So we've been talking about the art of dressing seductively.

Have you ever felt sexy growing up? What that even means? How we get there and who we are doing it for? We'll be talking to Sadia Azmit. She's a comedian and a podcaster and a bit like myself and Rubina, never really saw herself as the sexual type growing up. She's up right after this. So Snooch, tell me about some of the DMs you get. Oh girl, some of them are pretty racy, I'm telling you. Come on, I'll show you mine if you show me yours. I have heard that one before, trust me. Look, we can't talk about it here,

but we can talk about it on our new podcast. I'm Snoochie Shire. I'm Kaz Crossley. And I'm Jordan Haynes. We're inviting you to slide into our podcast with your DM dilemmas and all the weird stuff on social media that would make your nan blush. No topic is off limits, and we won't judge.

But we might have a laugh at some of it. You girls are evil. Slide into my podcast. Listen on BBC Sounds. Brown girls do it too. So today's guest is the very funny and the very lolz Sadia Asmat. She is a comedian and co-hosts the amazing podcast No Country for Young Women, which is still available on BBC Sounds. She's also single, horny and very available. So welcome the show sadia thank you girls hello thank you for having me what are you wearing i am wearing a dress is that um condoms uh it is it's like tassels but it's like condom tassels amazing oh condom tassels yeah okay so for those of you who can't see what sadia is wearing sorry babe do you mind just doing a little quick blue peter presentation ah there we go um

you do have two condoms safety pinned i should add to each nipple i mean sorry that is the most asian thing that you use safety pins don't we just use them everything and then like i hope the condoms aren't damaged because that would be very i mean if you poke a hole in them you now need to be careful yeah well if you poke a hole in them they don't work so yeah throw them away with the right guy with the right guy he comes along and you're like yeah just put these on it's all good damaged ones with you i i love the little flash of bra there. That's very sexy. Well, you know, I had to make an effort for the brown girls to do it too.

Yeah, you're now a brown girl doing it. I'm basically wearing the equivalent of the three of us of a kind of a straight jacket. Tell us what you're up to at the moment. So I'm really excited I'm writing uh my memoirs uh which is coming out this year it's called sex bombs nice and what's the book about Sadia you being a sex bomb you're exploding I oh oh wow Robina um yes I suppose no but it's so yeah it's everything about me basically um yeah it's, but it's much so. Yeah, it's everything about me, basically. Yeah, it's about sex. It's about life, love, everything. I'm sharing a lot. It's a memoir. I can't wait for it. I'm so excited. Sadia, we've been talking about dressing sexy and what that means. What in your in your opinion, what does it what do you do

when you feel like you're dressing sexy? I tend to dress sexy if I'm gonna get some I don't you know have you know otherwise I ain't really trying to to make extra extra effort and uh yeah I think I think it's to get attention from a specific person it's not like you know a lot of girls like sometimes I'm very casual and girls will be like you should make more of an effort because you're you're single and you know whatever I I know that the chance of me meeting somebody randomly are very slim and so I yeah I tend to make an effort if I'm trying to get a guy to notice me what sorts of what kind of things would you wear um to be honest with you uh put a lot of makeup on

um which is a divisive issue because like a lot of people are like well natural is uh very kind of in at the moment and also i don't know how how bothered guys are sometimes because you know they just want it anyway i've had most guys say to me less is more but i'm like of course you'd say that do you know what i mean like i i'd probably do what you do in that i definitely like focus on the face like i wear like a full thing of like makeup and like it's like big hoops or something but yeah earrings are so good so like i usually wear a hijab that covers my like neck and um kind of like you know more traditional style usually um when you want to get when you want to get some you go no no no no so in my day-to-day life, I tend to wear just like, you know, a regular hijab that's quite easy, like a one pin triangle style.

I know people are trying to tell me triangles not there. I'm like, fuck you. I don't care. I'm for it. It's easier to wrap than a rectangular one. And also it's not really to fit into anybody's, you know, fashion flex or whatever not. But yeah, like sometimes, yeah, I guess to answer the question as well is that, you know, I'll put the um but yeah like sometimes yeah i guess to answer the question as well is that you know i'll put the hijab up a little bit um and that earrings like you said is a

very uh important thing and yeah other than that just a dress that makes me feel um sexy yeah i used to wear the hijab um and i used to have the you remember the two piece so you put the head you put the bandana on and then you put your head through the other second piece. And then I have like my- Did you ever take it off? No. Because you didn't like wearing it?

No, no. You weren't one of them. Okay. Because you know there's those girls. They're like, okay, bye mom. And then they take it off and put it in their bag

and they're going to change their clothes in there too. I'm ashamed to say I was quite judgmental of those girls. But now looking back, I'm like, you know, power to you. I'm not sure if it was quite judgmental of those girls, but now looking back, I'm like, you know, power to you.

I'm not sure if it's something to be ashamed of, you know, but it's a cheeky thing. And I know they would probably, you know, it's good not to judge, but I don't blame you for judging. Let's put it that way. I think I was probably just jealous that I didn't have the confidence to be able to like do it myself.

But I remember having to tell my mother that just because you wear a headscarf doesn't automatically mean that you're an angel. And you could still get up to like stuff if you wore the headscarf. She obviously didn't give a shit. And for her, it was like, which means what would people say? And so as long as you kept up the appearance of wearing a headscarf, it didn't really matter what you did behind closed doors. But the point that I was trying to make was because I wore a headscarf from the age of 11 to about 19 I never ever ever felt sexy just did not feel sexy by default I think also just as teenagers I remember seeing girls in a headscarf at school

and not in my head not seeing them as sexual beings it just wasn't in my vernacular to see them like that yet now on Instagram with the way that I see Muslim women now, the way they dress their hair, I just find them so much more attractive now. But that's because I've come to unlearn what sexy means and what sexy looks like. Yeah, I think we missed out on something, but I think it's an exciting time for us

to be able to craft our narrative. I think what's difficult is that we're expected to do that. And there's so many counter narratives and different um perspectives so so I think sometimes it's difficult to free yourself from all of that and just be seen as poppy or rabina or sadia um and not have to kind of hold that shit down all the time you're a person you know and being an Asian woman or being a Muslim woman or being a woman period is part of that. But there's so many other things about you that, you know, would be lovely for people to have some sort of insight or curiosity about just as any other person.

But like sometimes we're just viewed as a singular. Or it's hard to be seen as just a person because you're often seen as like a community. And I recently had a situation where somebody DMm'd me and said thanks for repping the culture and I was like that is so much pressure to rep a culture and how do I represent that going into the bedroom every day how do I represent that having sex with my partner or talking about sex like it's a lot of pressure to suddenly be like you know I'm not bringing all the like ancestors on my shoulders and it's like also I think it doesn't leave much space for mistake because whilst you're behaving yourself or acting according to some um undefined criteria then that's all good but the

minute you step out of line and there's so many people out there like you can't please everyone all the time we're 50 shades of brown god damn itmit. So let's talk about dick. Why not, eh? Yes. Why not? Yes, let's do that. Oh my god, I miss it so much. When was the last time you had sex? I don't count.

I think I find it difficult to get dick. I think it's difficult to, I think because I'm a comedian as well, so sometimes guys will think I'm joking. Yeah. And I'm deadly serious about how much I want it. But I think it's really hard. I think fear of rejection is difficult. I think there's a lot of fear from men as well about, you know, oh shit, you know, because she wears a hijab.

She probably wants to get married right away. And she wants me to convert to Islam or she wants me to convert to islam or she wants me to join isis and all of this it sounds like a juggling act it sounds like you've got a lot to think about all the time i think guys are threatened by me in terms of if i was to make a move because i think it's like it looks desperate um it could be my approach because it's not very smooth um it will be corny it'll be um oh tell us explain to us how yeah like it'll be a difficult text it'll be a really awkward weird like something i don't know like oh my god there was this one guy i really liked him and he was a teacher in our pilates class and i left him a juice after the class with a poster note with my mobile number on

and then basically he moved to Australia. So Saadia on this podcast we go over quite literally with a fine tooth comb and in graphic detail stories about how we popped our collective brown cherries and we must ask you how you lost your virginity it was with a guy um who like we just sent a few saucy texts here and there and um like he was really really fit and then um basically we went to the ibis in essex romantic so it was obviously definitely gonna happen there right in essex like if it wasn't gonna happen there it wasn't gonna happen anywhere and uh yeah no we had sex it was real cool um i enjoyed it a lot and it was cool um we had we had kind of like um been to first base before he was very very handsome and uh we basically fucked now i was in my late 20s so i was a bit

like you know uh it was just a bit desperate to get it over and done with by that point society does make you feel like you're the older you know it's like the younger the better basically like it's just not you know you don't wait till ages to kind of pop your cherry but i mean we're asians so shit happens you know what i mean i wonder how many people have lost their virginity in the ibis in essex though i think that's probably a spot you should get a free night if you you know you made history in that placement that'd be a really good advert you could do a little deal couldn't you two for one deals bring the same girl back you'll get a 50 discount um so i i know that obviously you are more than just your hijab and i I can imagine you're probably quite tired of coming on podcasts talking about your hijab.

But it does feel like from what you said about, you know, when you approach a guy and you're wearing a hijab, it feels like for want of a better word, is it a bit of a cock blocker, the headscarf? It's a brilliant phrase um i think it is very contradictory because it is both a cock blocker and an enticement right because they both they both want to have forbidden goods but they also uh feel like they can't make any type of move so it's both and so it's very very difficult and confusing to navigate I think like there was one time I was with a guy and we were just you know kissing and we was getting into it we were in bed and like things were coming off and then like my

hijab was off and then he was like oh could you put it back on and I was like nah and you know you just so we didn't kind of like he didn't force the point or anything. And sometimes it's very difficult to know, like whether someone's being serious or not. So I kind of tried to brush it off, but then like he would say that now and again. And I mean, for me, it's like, you know,

because you do cover up most of the time, like sex is one of the rare times where you actually can not be covered. So it doesn't, there's nothing in it for me to do that so you don't turn me on so you don't want to be you don't like being fetishized that way no because like what is the turn on for me yeah yeah i feel sexy with my hair down like i feel if there was something in it for me i might do it for a guy but you know i didn't do it for him because there was nothing in it for me it's silk silk. It amazes me that even now in 2021 in a pandemic, like the headscarf, this bit of fabric, it gets so much airtime in a way like other religious garments don't. Do you know what I mean?

Like it's still quite misunderstood. And just the presumptions, the presumptions that we make about Muslim women who choose to wear the headscarf. It still even in brown communities there is a look towards them to say you are more orthodox you are more straight you're probably a bit boring you're probably crap in bed like these are like terrible things that we put none of these are true especially not the bed part she's telling us the truth here but i think i know i think that's really like that carries so much weight when you have to carry that weird presumption why i think the biggest issue is that we're spoken for or about and not to so if people want to talk to us they'll get a different um uh you know explanation but if they take what other people say or the media or whatever source that they're you know they're happy to take secondary sources yeah and also speaking about muslim women as if they're one thing like

just because you wear a hijab and your voice and the way that you talk about sex has nothing to do with the next woman who's wearing one next door you know i mean like it's none of us should be talking and that's the kind of weird thing about brown girls do it too it's like we often try to on the show talk about the brown experience being incredibly varied and because poppy and i have a completely different upbringings we have completely different attitudes towards sex you know she loves to rim i've never done it and i like to swallow and you don't so yeah there you are well this is one like a guy wouldn't swallow i'm sorry he wouldn't let me swallow and i was like i really want to swallow like can you let me swallow you're just holding it in your mouth

and he's like he was like not letting me swallow he was like it's too he said and I'll quote

it's too salty you won't like it I was thinking in my head how do you know what it tastes like that's a very that is possibly

to date the most surreal position to be in when you're like, you've got someone's cum in your mouth and you're doing that. Because usually this transaction is like literally effective. You're like, a little taste, swallow. But you're like holding it and he's like, no. And you're like.

But it's not like I haven't had bits before from him, you know, like, you know, things leak or whatever. But like you'll you'll want the olympic finish and he's like no don't do it did come on my face once which was fun yeah but yeah like you know on and in is different things i've never god he must have been really looking out for you if he's like no no no this is super salty you're not gonna like this but so do you think that was caring or not because how is that i don't know i feel like he was trying to protect you from something you might have been into and i don't know why he wanted to do it from a salty diet i mean we're asian we got diabetes the first thing we do on that rice

and the roti is put the bloody salt on do you know what i mean it's not like a flavor that we're not accustomed to also if i was that guy i'd be i'd give the warning and i said babe baby girl it's a bit salty down there and then the girl the woman would be like yeah yeah i'm you've told me you've informed me and i'm okay with it and i still want to swallow it you've given consent you're happy go for it like that is the transaction it's a bit shady isn't it it's like you've already told the girl that it's salty she's up for it why why why are you why are you stopping that why why it is shady but it's like also like it's it's what you do in bed like you're pleasuring one another right you don't have to like how why are you self-censoring that shit like why are we even naked in bed together then to be honest i have done that before one time when i felt like a bit

sweaty and someone was about to start going down on me and was going that way and i was like oh i haven't actually showered and i just kind of came back from a run and they were like no i'm well but guys love that oh my god i had a guy ask me if he could lick my period once and i was like no oh my god that's amazing i was i was on my period and he was like i will lick that up but yeah i was just like anyone who says that to me is definitely a no. They love it. They love it all. I had somebody lick my armpit once. Wow.

It doesn't surprise me. It does not surprise me. It feels really good. But I've done that before where it's like, I'm not, it's not great down there, as in give me some time. And they're like, but I think if you warn them and they still-

I think that turns them on when it's not like he you know when it's not showered fresh like you know they sometimes obviously there's guys who love that but they're also very guys that want to explore what they have not explored i think it's a bit yeasty though sometimes it can be a bit a bit yeasty you know just worry about that yeah it can be yeasty and it can be quite dischargey. And also- Don't give a shit. Yeah, they don't. But I think ultimately if you warn them

and they still go down, they do so at their own risk. You've informed them, there's full disclosure there and they're still going for it. It's like, cool. But yeah, I've definitely been in that situation and you know, you just give them a little warning and then down they go swimming. It's like, why don't we just read some books together? If you don don't want to fuck properly let's just sit down and read some books or read

the paper let's go on a date do some other shit uh so sadia thank you very much for joining us today on brown girls do it too uh before we let you go we would love to play our sex quiz with you we play it with everyone we play it with everyone but we don't quite have a title for it yet so if something inspirational springs into your lovely comedian mind we'd probably like a good name for this uh right now it's called the quick fire f game uh because we're not allowed to say as many f's in the show as possible we can say f as many times we want so uh so here we go it's multiple choice uh feel free to add a little comment in afterwards and here we go doggy or missionary i like both but um doggy is really good because it gets right in there pubes or no pubes i love pubes but i i don't mind no pubes but like pubes

great great yeah i love pubes the anti-feminist in me is definitely no pubes, soz. Lights on or lights off? Okay, this is a really interesting question. Because if it's like, I feel like I prefer off, but if it's a new partner, you do want to see a lot of stuff. So there's a time for both. But like, i think you can get really naughty in the dark yeah i prefer lights off all the time basically candles oh you

always take it to the next level i want to see some shit romantic yeah put the iphone torch on ring light upload it right now uh spit or swallow both because i love i want to swallow as we've established um but lubrication is great pornography pornography or no pornography no pornography is too addictive and um i think it leads to expectations that are unrealistic and can lead to disappointment. I think you need to be able to use your imagination to make your own sex life rather than some other person's interpretation of it. That's actually a pretty good. It's a very good answer. Thorough.

Thorough. I thought about it a lot. Lube it up or natural juices. I like natural juices but you know sometimes if the river's running dry you got to get that lubed on there yeah yeah very true hand job or foot job foot job what the fuck so you give you give them you give them the job with the feet with your feet two feet up and down i don't have no problem with feet but i I ain't trying to do that. He can suck my toes, but they know. No, no, hand job, please.

Hand job, okay. Give head or get head? Give, give, give. You are the first. I'm such a great person. You are the first brown girl to do it too. What? Oh, my God.

Honestly, when we played this game, you're the first person that said give. Give, give, give. I love it down my throat. Oh, give, give. I love it. Down my throat. Ah, yes. Come on, get it down there, boy. Come on, boy.

Quickie in the club toilet or quickie in a park? Toilet. Toilet, yeah. Because it's just that enclosed space, man. Also, everything's there. The tissue,

you can wash your hands off. What are you talking about, puppy? I ain't worried about no tissue. He can wipe it off with his face. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, fine's there. The tissue, you can wash your hands afterwards. What are you talking about, puppy? I ain't worried about no tissue. He can wipe it off with his face. Oh, no. Yeah, fine. Okay. I mean, in my head, I'm so logistical in my head about this fantasy.

There's a queue outside the toilet. So we are being very quick and very efficient. Quickie, quickie, quick. I don't want to know quickie in the toilet, baby. It's going to be a long session in the toilet. Well, I'm definitely. You're just going to have people knocking on the door. You're just going to have people knocking on the door. Exactly. That's why you're like, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. No, no, baby. It's going to be a long session in the toilet. Well, I'm definitely... You're just going to have people knocking on the door

being like, hey, I need to pee. You're just going to be knocking on the door, exactly. That's why you're like, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. No, no, no. We're going to be in some special cubicle where no one's waiting for us. Well, then ideally

you want a massive super club with like a good disabled toilet. Or maybe a disabled loo. Yeah, exactly. Or one of those really hotel toilets where there's like actually somebody there, you know, like giving out towels. Oh, that would be so beautiful.

That's quite a sexual fantasy I bet you maybe he could join in I bet you they have that I bet you they have that in like sex orgies or those sex parties where it's like really

have you been invited to any can you you've got my number here oh please we want the hook up too share the location you guys are seeing people you should help your sister out

exactly help your motherfucking sister out no we will help a fellow brown girl of course come on we will help a fellow brown girl of course come on we will we probably

will try and go to a sex party at some point so when we do that can I come

you can definitely come absolutely all right we do we do I think that's everything

yes thank you you've been so wonderful and you are now brown girl do it to

your alumni welcome thank you so much for being so honest and sharing your kind

of perspective with us because it's like invaluable so we really appreciate you taking the time and uh enjoy continue having the amazing sex that you're having because it sounds like you get some and it's always good it's been lovely to meet you oh yeah really nice to meet you good luck with the book yeah no you guys are amazing and keep doing your thing. It's really good. So that was the amazing Sadia Azmat on Brown Girls Do It Too.

And I think it was really interesting talking to her because I used to wear a headscarf and I can imagine, like she said, wearing a headscarf can cause a dilemma for some guys. You know, do they approach her? Do they not approach her? Who makes the first move? I mean, she did say she was kind of sometimes stuck between a rock and a hard place because guys couldn't really gauge what she was about for me what was really surprising is that she wears a headscarf and she's an incredibly like overly sexual person um and that just kind of for me was quite surprising and I think really empowering I think a lot of judgments maybe even I had about women who wear the headscarf has been completely shattered.

So thanks, Sadia, for re-correcting me and putting me back on the right track. Totally. And I also think that sex, as I've learned now, is completely, totally subjective, actually. You don't need to wear necessarily the bodycon dress and the false eyelashes and the slitter heels. And although if you do, that's totally fine,

but it is totally subjective and it's how you feel on the inside. And it's really, I think sexiness is really confidence. If you're confident and you've got swag, that's all you need. My trap. So go out there and be sexy, guys. Thank you so much for hanging out with us. We would love for you to join in the conversation by using the hashtag BrownGirlsDoItToo.

You can email BrownGirlsDoItToo. You can email BrownGirlsDoItToo at bbc.co.uk and you can also tweet at BBC Asian Network. And if you're feeling sexy and want to continue doing so, do subscribe and download

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