Brown Girls Do It Too - To Get You In the Mood

Episode Date: November 27, 2020

From Dirty Talk to the AtoZ of Sex Toys, Poppy and Rubina confess all the funny and intimate details of their sex lives. A South Asian woman still can’t talk openly about her sex life, but Poppy and Rubina are determined to change that, beginning with their own experiences. In this new series of Brown Girls Do It Too, Poppy and Rubina speak to a whole range of women, who are all ‘doing it too’ and who are proud to talk about their relationship and sex lives. Poppy and Rubina explore dirty talking and give it a go with professional dirty talker, Babestaion’s Alicia Sweets, one of the few Indian cam girls in the UK.Poppy agrees to send a nude pic of herself to her boyfriend after a chat about sex on social media with journalist Ash Sarker and both Poppy and Rubina realise that they are missing out on Sex Toy action after speaking to Sangeeta Pillai who proudly talks about her chest full of dildos under her bed.The stakes are high for a South Asian woman talking openly about her sex life, both Poppy and Rubina have faced enormous backlash online and from their families for being so frank on this podcast. Yet they insist they must carry on – and as Rubina says in Episode One of the new series, “an orgasm is a human right” and so is their right to talk about it.The series also explores problematic porn with writer Neelam Tailor, who has had to give up porn after being addicted to it and, the misunderstandings of bisexuality with spoken word artist Amani Saeed and being funny in the bedroom with comedian Sukh Ojla. Through the series Poppy and Rubina learn about their own boundaries as they grow closer and become more comfortable talking about this most challenging of all subjects

This podcast contains sexually explicit content and offensive language. Hi, I'm Poppy and you're listening to Brown Girls Do It Too. Our brand new series is about to hit your feed. In this season, we'll be speaking about a whole range of subjects from dirty talk to sex on social media to the A to Z of sex toys. We'll also be speaking to other brown girls doing it, including Alicia Sweets from Babe Station, journalist Ash Sarkar,

and spoken word artist Amani Saeed, as well as many other incredible guests. We'll be covering the Asian female sexual experience in all its glory. And to get you in the mood, here's Rubina's and my favorite bits from series one. And we hear from our families about how they dealt with it all.

Brown Girls Do It Too. Yeah. From the BBC Asian Network. It's a bit slow jams right there. Coming on in to you. Brown Girls Do It Too. Not my voice, obviously. Everyone can tell that

it's poppy on the eye, It's my voice. Do you want to have a little go? Brown Girls Do It Too. My voice, obviously, everyone can tell that it's Poppy on the item there. It's my voice. Do you want to have a little go? Brown girls, do it too. Big up to all the range of brown girl voices there are. I do not sound anything like Poppy. Anyway, for those of you who tuned in to this banter, we are brown girls and we are doing it too.

This podcast is about sex. The dreaded three-lettered word. Yes, I am Poppy, a second-generation British Bangladeshi. And I'm Rubina, a child of immigrants. India via Africa, I guess, is the way to put that. I like India via Africa. It's like a nice little punchy intro. I like it.

It's been a weird year. It's been a weird year for all of you, you know, lockdown, global pandemics. I just hope you've been, as we have, been masturbating like there's no tomorrow because perhaps there may never be another tomorrow. There may never be. But 2020, it's been like shit, let's not lie, and like bad. But we did win an award.

Yes. Right, here we are. We won two British Podcast Awards this year. Right here. One for Best Sex and Relationships Podcast, and they actually let us win Podcast of the Year. Big up Roya, who this award also belongs to. She is no longer with us for the next series of Brown Girls Do It Too,

but she remains in our hearts and in our wank bank forever. We love you, Roya. We love you. So we've got loads coming up. We'll be playing you some of our fave mega lols moments from season one. And we'll also be hearing from our fam dem, who, let's be honest,

weren't the happiest of bunnies when they found out we were doing a podcast about sex. And see what the fuss was about. What was the fuss about? I don't know. No one tells you about lube. If some cool, trendy auntie had said when I was 15 or 16, hey, lube up.

Lube up. So no lube. And like a little bit of the helmet goes in. And then I'm like, no, no. And we did that, I think, honest to God, it felt like 47 minutes. We were like, this is just a joke. And then it felt nice and tingly.

And I was like, oh, this is lovely. Because like this slippery penis just takes in, just comes inside your vagina. And then you just, this is such a nice feeling. Like, why didn't I do this sooner? I can't believe I said that. I mean, I can. I can.

I so can. I so can. But like listening back to it, I'm like, very graphic. Very descriptive. Yeah, very descriptive. Lube up. L think maybe yeah lube up lube up lube up

mine was very lame wasn't it I actually like listened back listened back to series one and thought you are a loser no you're not a loser this is a clip

I think you're amazing and I really wanted to be in love with somebody when I lost my virginity and I went to university in Edinburgh and

I can't remember telling this story and he was like I'm just going to move up to Edinburgh to be with you. And I was like, well, we must be in love because you're here in my dorm room. And I did everything that, you know, you see in movies. You know, I got the lipstick. I put on the Dawson's Creek soundtrack. And I had like, oh my God, that's the least sexiest soundtrack I've ever put on.

And then I put on some really sexy underwear, which just meant matching. I'm sorry, that still gets me. That still gets me. Oh, tragic, tragic virginity stories there. I can just imagine you in the bedroom like, what is that? Oh God, the soundtrack. The Dawson's Creek soundtrack. No, not the Dawson

no a bit of a Barry what's his name Barry White Barry White yeah I like you you know what I mean I like you're really like pumping yourself up and then of course in the reality it's the Dawson 100% 100% I think it's like I mean we've talked about how it's been a bit of a weird time um and you know 2020 I feel like when when at the start of the year, when we went into lockdown and everything happened, I had a real like, oh, I just don't feel sexual. I feel like worried about the future. I'm worried about everything.

I've major anxiety about the future. And I just felt like having sex wasn't going to be the thing that I needed at the time. And so I definitely had like a bit of a dry spell and then decided that actually I wanted to start having sex wasn't going to be the thing that I needed at the time yeah and so I definitely had like a bit of a dry dry spell a dry spell and then decided that actually I wanted to start having sex and it was just the escapism of sex the escapism of an orgasm is like cinema it can take you to different places and it can make you like forget and like shed a lot of stuff which I really liked um and the other thing that I was thinking about was we're all working from home now right everyone's working from home and let's be honest working from home used to mean wanking from home used to be like I'm at home but I'll have a good time but now

you have a good time three times three times as many times as I have a good time to get me through this next deck exactly this next slide you know now now everyone is actually just working from home like I don't think they'll feel comfortable wanking from home because the same laptop that they are working from home, they are also not going to be able to be wanking from home. I also work from home in my bedroom. So I'm like, this is the room that I am fucking in, sleeping in, wanking in, working in,

pitching to people in. Not the right space for my mind. Blurred lines, such such blurred lines it's so true it's like you've got all your tabs open and it's like oh that's your porn tab oh yeah sorry I minimized that yeah one thing when you're brown that I think like is very underappreciated is that when you're on a zoom it's lighting is crucial and when it gets dark you don't just want to be the teeth you know the teeth in the zoom being like, hey guys, it's me. I find that I always am desperate to light myself and make myself look like I'm, God, not white, but like visible. Lighting is awful. I look like a bloody

bogey green watsit all the time. Yeah, I'm also just finding the more I look at my face, I just see my mum. We're back for another series of... But where are you really from? Well, my name is Ishan. My dad's from Pakistan. My mum's from Bangladesh. I'm Nimmo Dedra. My parents are from Africa. My grandparents are from India. And I'm Sunil Patel. And I'm from Bath. So what's in the podcast? It's where we talk to amazing guests and ask them that tricky question. We find out what they really feel about their roots, their culture, their identity and their heritage. We'll hear from the likes of Ali Official, Sasha Tawan and Sharon Taliwal. But where are you really from?

Listen on BBC Sounds. Brown Girls Do It Too. Talking about your mother who sounds like an absolute legend. Does she listen to any of the six episodes of Brown Girls Do It Too? She has listened to bits. So I am, like, super close to my mum. And she came from East Africa in the 70s as a refugee. She's worked as a social worker.

She's worked. She's, like, amazing, actually. She spends all of her time just, like, looking after people, all of the work that she's ever done is for others. She's a true hero of mine. So doing this, and she's ever done is for others um she's a true hero of mine so doing this and she's and she's 70 she's 73 uh so doing this is like a really really big deal I mean we always talk a lot about how the stakes were higher for us because you know our communities are a little bit more conservative about everything that we're talking about so this was it was a big deal

for me to to do something like this and then it was a bigger deal for me to reveal to her that I had uh and I I decided to talk to her a her about the podcast. So here's a little glimmer of what she said. I know you were all sleeping and you were talking about when you had sex and all that. At first, I was a bit apprehensive. And it was hard to take in to think of my daughter having done such a podcast. But over the period, I think I have come to terms with myself and I feel that it is what she doesn't mind doing. And I want to support her all the way. I love your mum. And I think that she at 73 should be a role model to every other mum her age, older and certainly younger because your mum is much more open minded than my own mother is. But there was two really great bits on that. The top where she goes, sleeping with other people. So is that her way of... Sleeping. Well, they were sleeping. But the other thing I really liked is the bit where she goes,

my daughter. And that's the way that Asian parents deal with it. Like, I wouldn't imagine my daughter to do it. Your daughter. She can do what she wants. My daughter would do it.

And I just love that she does that because, I mean, my mum does love, like, I know that she loves me. In fact, I know we've got like a really tight bond, but that was, when I heard her say that, it's like, you know,

you just want to make your parents feel proud of you and not ashamed of you. So this is about your mum's journey. We couldn't talk about sex before. It was a taboo. And I'm quite amazed that my daughter has been very honest with me. And she's a grown up now and she's told me a lot of things that I didn't know.

I always told myself I was modern, but I think having a daughter and who came up with the subject, yes, to start with, it did shake me a bit, but I have accepted it. And I think she's doing a wonderful job. I don't give a shit what you say. Mama P. Mama P. Mama P. She's amazing. Oh my God, you must feel so...

I don't know, what are you feeling when you hear your mum say that about you? Oh, it's really nice. Really proud to have her as my mum. And like, she just loves it. She's like, Berta, you really smashed the taboos. So I think she's been really good on it. Your reaction was kind of different with your

family, right? So I'm one of six. And imagine my siblings like me louder and on speed. They are the funniest people I know. Honestly, my siblings are the funniest people. I'm like five girls, one boy. And I have a WhatsApp group with them. And I just was not going to tell them in this WhatsApp group, hey, doing a Kimmy K's sex tape. No, I'm joking. I'm doing a sex podcast, and I wanted to talk to them individually, one-on-one, and didn't get around to it.

Totally my fault. And they found out, it was a very controversial clip from me about danger wanks. They were upset, and they weren't too happy, and they did find out in absolutely the worst way and this is their reaction. This is the clip. Have a listen. Nadia, she said to me,

guess what, Poppy did this podcast thing about sex and then I said, send it to me, send it to me, I want to hear it. And I heard it and I started tearing up. I was hurt, shocked, surprised, ashamed and quite angry and uncomfortable. My best friend sent it to me through Instagram and he asked me, is this your sister? And I was so shocked I couldn't even dignify a response. I was just, I felt really angry.

I think most of all I felt betrayed because I wasn't made aware of what you were about to do and what you did. God, that's heavy. There's a lot of words they use there. I mean, you know, how does that make you feel listening back to that now? That's what you make them go through. At the time I was crushed. I spoke to you and producer Rehan, like I was really upset. And I was really sad. Nadia didn't talk to me for nearly eight months. Zakia didn't talk to me for nearly a year. And I've never, I've never had a fight. Nadia and I can exchange a few words here and there. But I've never had a fight

with Zakia. You know, we're all close in different ways, but we don't argue. And so that was really like, it was difficult and it took time.

And I think like your mum, they went on the biggest, biggest journey. And this is what they had to say after up to a year of not talking to me. It was like this. I was already 40 minutes in and this one barged into my room after up to a year of not talking to me it was like this i was

already 40 minutes in and this one barged into my room and she goes what are you doing so i'm listening to it's really good you want to listen to it so i rewinded the whole thing but obviously because of my pride um i couldn't actually message you and be like yeah i really liked it because i had to stick to my guns and be angry at you but um that was really stupid um but i came to a realization and got over my feelings about this whole thing and I thought to myself you're my biggest sister I'm so proud of you um I love what you're doing putting you know sex out there um for other people to reach out and talk about their experiences you have to see the bigger picture and I feel as though I was really narrow minded about it, about sex, because to me, it's private, but it's just me.

Oh, I want them to be my sisters. They are really nice. Honestly, I, this is just a clip. But when they were in the house, and when they said that, and they said that a few times, I was, I didn't want to show it, but I was kind of welling up inside a bit. I love the kind of sense of a secret enjoyment of brown girls do it too. Like people listen but they're like I don't want anyone listening

because you can take us intimately to parts of your bedroom, your house and it can be quite private and we can just be talking to you about it and hopefully you find some stuff in there that you can relate to. Did you think that at any point that you thought you didn't want to do it anymore

because of this tension that it caused between your family? No, no. I mean, I love my sisters so much, but I think more than anything, it spurred me on. It didn't stop me. It didn't stop me. I wanted to talk about it even more.

I think what they were shocked by is the kind of, you know, we were very open and frank with the detail. And I think if anything, it was very telling. We come from a community that constantly hides it. I mean, even when you're on your bloody period, you have to hide the fact that you're from i felt validation i felt really really sad and i just hoped that in their own time they would understand and thankfully they did i mean your mum to come on this podcast at 73 an asian woman fuck i feel like if we've done that to one person and that's your mother that like that's our job done i hope it's been okay for those of you listening i hope we've we've kind of gone through what's been happening we've caught you up with the Brown Girls Do It 2 we really hope

you listen to series 2 of Brown Girls Do It 2 we'll be us and some guests yeah looking forward to making series 2

sharing series 2 with you and hopefully you guys can get in touch with us along the way and tell us what you're thinking if we're getting better Asian Network presents Brown Girls Do It 2

so that was just a flavour of two brown girls doing it myself and Rubina Make sure you hit the subscribe button on BBC Sound right now to get the next episode of Brown Girls Do It Too We kick off the new series chatting about dirty talk with our guest Babe Station cam girl Alicia Sweets

and my oh my did she have a lot to reveal Subscribe now Brown Girls Do It Too What's going through your mind right now? Alicia Sweets and My Oh My did she have a lot to reveal subscribe now brown girls do it too what's going through your mind right now what have your experiences been like One Extra Talks is about to get brave yes that's right Richie Brave and I'm taking the reins for the show where we delve

into the hot topics that matter to young black people in the UK whatever the issues on your mind this is the place for your weekly fix of honest debate and discussion One Extra Talks with Richie Brave What does the future look like?