BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - BudPod 196 - What Did You Do For Nyuh?

Episode Date: January 11, 2023

Nyuh's eve, DJ Elaine, resolutions, Prince Harry, some sort of car, being Selfish and being Kind, sketch is Majorie's NYE message, Marie Kondo Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Budpod196. 196... Howatrix! Howatrix for 2023! Hello everybody and happy new year and sorry for our time away. I was in Malaysia, in far-flung Borneo. Yeah.

How was that? Good, catching up with the orangutans, swinging about with my old friends, getting eaten by giant carnivorous plants. Yes, yes. What else did I do? I swam with the sea turtles and laid eggs with them in the sand um i got caught in a big net yeah in the sea yeah by some by a japanese whaling ship

Japanese whaling ship. But fortunately, I was able to bite my way through the net and save the rest of my marine friends. Yes. It was a pretty eventful Christmas and New Year. Yeah, really busy. I'm glad to be back, is what I'm trying to say. Almost didn't there for a bit. Almost got turned into blubber.

Yeah, you almost got sold on the high-end artisanal meats market in Tokyo. Oh, yeah. Do you reckon you can buy rare meats on the dark web, surely? Oh, that's a good... Surely you can buy... Can you buy like a whale's blowhole just a single blowhole just the blowhole i imagine if you are really into the blowhole they definitely assume you're gonna fuck it that's the sort of thing it's expensive drinking a whale's blowhole

is expensive definitely because you can get whale legally in places like norway yeah and iceland and iceland when i was in when i was in when i was in iceland there were restaurants with like a sign outside saying we serve puffin yeah we serve puffin and whale i've never looked at a puffin and gone like mmm and rubbed my hands together. Yeah, it's too kind of pretty. I don't really want to eat anything pretty. It's not very appetizing. But also they're not fat.

A chicken just looks like a ball of meat. That's right. So I can look at the chicken and go, I see what you're doing there. That's right. I see what this animal's about. There's a puffin. It it just looks like i can so easily imagine someone's like oh it tastes like a horrible combination of chicken and fish and i'm like yeah i don't want that oh thank you the blowhole i like to eat the beaks as crisps i like to eat the puffin beak as a crisp i think that'd be fun oh like one of those massive sort of vegetable crisps you get.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you'd have an enormous bag of puffin beaks with a kind of puffin. A puffin that's like the Cheetos Cheetah. I'd love a bag of paprika puffin beaks. That'd be delish. And the Cheetos Cheetah's kind of... It's like the puffin beaks. That'd be delish. And the Cheetos cheetahs kind of, it's like the puffin has got like sunglasses

and like trainers on. And he's doing a big feather thumbs up, you know. Sorry, just closing my door there. Yeah, and like in the cartoon, the puffin is eating puffin beaks yeah yeah yeah that kind of horrible cannibalism like you get often with pigs

pigs and chickens and you know all the mascots yeah all the meat mascots but yes so and thank you everyone for your patience over the last festive fortnight sorry i couldn't be with you and big up pierre for for filling in the gaps there um it

yeah the the the wi-fi in borneo is about as reliable as as you picture It's getting better. It's getting better, to be honest. It's getting all right. What year of UK Wi-Fi is it up to? I mean, I guess it depends on the region of the UK, but London-wise, maybe five years ago? Oh, okay. That's pretty good. Yeah, yeah. But from time to time it will

just stop working and it's one of those we have to like you disconnect and you reconnect and then it works and he's like well what have i done here actually well why has this fixed it why did this you just forget to be wi-fi yeah the wi-fi just gets distracted yeah i've never understood that that's very strange sometimes pierre um you should turn it off and on again oh yes satire well it's a golden age for satire now phil with all the royal family shit did you get much of that coverage did you do you do you when you're in malaysia here's a question do you stay in touch with the news from the uk and everywhere that's not malaysia or do you just have malaysian news or do you just cut out completely just ignore it we get we have the satellite tv service there and we have bbc news 24 on it so we just put that on and it's like it's like we never left it's very strange

um and and and and you you feel wow the uk really does have an outsized influence still because you can get very specific county by county news in borneo you can get you can watch you watch a story about a pile up in hereford in north borneo and you're like why why are we getting this but but yeah it means we were able to follow british news by the minute pretty much well thank god yes yes harry and megan have once again told everyone to please leave them alone in five separate high-profile TV interviews and now a best-selling book. Just leave them alone, guys. How many Netflix series do these people need to make before you leave them the fuck alone? When will people get the message, Pierre?

Have you heard the clip of the audiobook that's doing the rounds today? Oh, no. A bit of audio from the audiobook. Yeah, because he read it himself. Oh, no. Yeah, it's bad. What is it about? Is it about him having sex with the horse lady no it's a really lame

anagram about rebecca brooks anagram yep an anagram yeah it's hard to explain it's only a few seconds long so i'll try and describe it to the listeners while you listen to it if you like okay well i i could i could if you send it to me i could even just play it into the microphone here well i don't know if we have the rights oh what about parody law leave them alone phil i think we'd be covered by parody law but but if you tell me um oh yeah give me give me the gist um so basically, it's because Rebecca Brooks, I think, was involved in the press harassment. Yeah, so this is a bit of a blast from the past now, Rebecca Brooks.

There's a time when everyone was chatting Brooks all the time. But Rebecca Brooks was that fiery haired lady who worked for News Corp, was it? No, it was the Mirror, wasn't it? Let's just Google this. Phone hacking. Yeah, but she worked on the Murdoch side

of the press, didn't she? News of the World. News of the World. That's Murdoch, right? I don't know. Yes. Yes, it was. don't know. Yes. Yes, it was. Yeah, that's right. It was the scandal that brought down

News of the World, the phone hacking scandal. Yeah, and it involved sort of everyone. And she was editor? CEO? What was she? I can't remember now. Oh, high Up, whatever. Yeah.

Right, so Prince Harry has a story about Rebecca Brooks. No, he just mentions her, and he says that she made up that he went to rehab, and says, is it a coincidence that an anagram of her name is Rehab Crook? Rehab Crook. Rehab Crooks. And he says this seriously? He seems to say it's a message from the universe or something. I don't know quite what to make of it.

I only have the clip, to be fair. Maybe the rest of Harry's book makes him seem really... It's a build-up to a really good point. It's not a good clip. And it's weird to hear him saying it. Yeah. Oh, God, Pierre. Am I going to listen to the audiobook of Spare?

Am I? No, I just think you should listen to this one clip because it's really funny. It's quite partridge. Oh, great. Okay. Rebecca Brooks was found not guilty on all charges related to phone hacking, Phil. Fun fact.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I always stood up for her. Yeah, I would leave little supportive messages on people's phones. But yes, we were kept more or less abreast of um the the trickling harry william drama about him pushing harry onto a dog bowl you you and i have have friends who are big royal freaks um and it's just it's it's like it's like the 90s for them isn't it that's what struck me is that you look back at the 90s and there's all these scandals and things

and up until recently you look at them now and go oh it's all very sort of managed now and here we are again it's exploded and gone mental and everyone has to have an opinion right yes yes yes yeah that's kind of ironic, isn't it?

Because sort of with the purported intention of undoing or protecting Meghan from what happened to his mother, Harry's sort of partly responsible for bringing back that level of drama to the royals, right? it's not since sort of not really since diana that it's been this dramatic yeah i think so and i mean he's trying to either destroy or get rid of the institute i don't know what the i don't know what the plan is

i'm surprised by how there is a plan yeah i think we give harry far too much credit i don't i think he's living each day as it comes he's a sweet simple boy and he's living each day as it comes. He's a sweet simple boy and he's living each day as it comes. He's trying his best. I'm surprised by how woo-woo the tone of the whole thing is.

Well, I mean, this is fucking it's the sort of California speak that Meghan Markle's brought to it. The speaking my truth. Once you start talking about my truth It's the sort of California speak that Meghan Markle's brought to it. Yeah. Speaking my truth. Once you start talking about my truth, you know, you're off with the fairies, really. And there's no better way of making me doubt everything you say than using the phrase my truth. Because as soon as I'm aware that someone has an idea of truth that is individually based,

and as soon as someone reveals themselves not to believe in a single truth, which we all interpret by that each person has their own truth, which needs no proof and is validated just by existing, then I'm going to be treating things with a little more scrutiny you know yeah i think that's fair look here's a here's a question i still want to hear more about christmas new year's because it's new year's resolutions time phil but i want to know what was the most nostalgic thing you did when you were in malaysia oh that's a good question so i hadn't been to malaysia since the christmas of 2019 so i haven't i haven't been there since the pandemic started and i had this very i kept it was this very

strange feeling of i kept telling myself oh the last time i was here was before all these pandemic memories i have oh yeah all these memories of being stuck in that flat of going on sad little jogs on my own of the loneliness and the fear and the strangeness and the number 10 briefings and the all all my memories of all those things what happened after the last time i was here and that that always felt very strange because it never felt like it was that felt like older than my my my previous malaysia memories yeah they were maybe that's good i don't know maybe that's good maybe it means that my memories of the worst of the pandemic are so locked away in a separate parallel timeline yeah you can now you can say you can look out the window and say things like it was all some sort of terrible dream really

yeah exactly the most nostalgic thing was oh the thing is when you're much older you come to these things and they kind of feel new again because you're seeing them from an adult perspective and they don't really seem... Going to my dad's hometown, which are basically a village, these two villages in the interior, was really nice.

And eating their special noodles. Noodles are such a big deal in Sabah. Each small town has their own type of noodles. Oh, like their own style that they've pulled? Well, their own style of cooking, usually. Oh, okay. And so going around eating those and really getting stuck

into these old towns was really nice. But I'm not a nostalgic person really in general. And what I actually enjoyed was seeing how things had all changed slightly and moved on and gotten older. But it was a really good trip. A really nice trip um how was how were you were you on the island yes i was yeah but it was just a sort of quick a pretty quick visit and i i sort of secluded myself to try and uh because my family various members of family that are normally there

weren't there. So it was sort of just me and my parents, really. So I secluded myself and tried to get some writing done on this sort of a windswept island. Oh, that's pretty good. Very Bronte. Yeah, yeah. And I wore the dress and everything, so. I had a little fan.

Very nice. Yeah, it was fine. It was just just I always think it's well I mean would you agree that New Year's Eve is is sort of the naturally the shittest one of all the days it's pretty crap um and I think the worst New Year's Eves I've in my experience I mean try and chase a fun New Year's Eve yeah you embrace it New Year's Eve it's a bit crap. They're a lot more fun and for this one we went to a, I mean when I say that out loud it's very nice. We went to this beach resort near my dad's hometown on the coast

and the resort is very it was quite white lotus-y which was fun because I'd only recently seen that. Nice, yeah. Me and my sister, we just wander around the resort going... Just humming the tune to ourselves and playing the parts. And on the countdown, the New Year's Eve party was out on the beach,

but there was a dj playing from the balcony of the hotel because it's so hot everything's all open plan so yeah the the dj's on this platform like a floor above us with a big led screen and she's playing these tracks and and beneath her we're all there just sort of on the grassy beach and dancing along it's all families and tourists and kids and she's a really good dj elaine her name was like elaine chiu was elaine yeah just elaine chiu just like a a nice local chinese gal who's good at spinning discs i love she's generally called dj she's called dj elaine dj elaine and dj elaine play

and dj elaine played some really good tracks she's good the mixes are good um but and this stuff encapsulates a lot of malaysian uh life is that no thought was really given to the propriety of these songs considering the audience it's like families and little kids and she's playing songs that went like shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots and a song that went show me where my freaks at and you And you look around, and it's just small kids and their families, and there's like a bouncy castle. It was quite Napoleon Dynamite, really.

But it was really funny and really fun. That's really funny. It was a good New Year's Eve. It was a good New Year's Eve. You have to sort of embrace the silly crapness of New Year's Eve to really have a good time, I think. Yeah, I like the idea of someone called DJ Lane dropping wet wet ass pussy for a bunch of toddlers on a bouncy castle dj elaine oh wow dj elaine elaine chang um

and she had a hype man who i was pretty sure i'm pretty sure was just the general manager of the hotel was he dressed like the guy from uh grand budapest just like very much uh it was just a guy in a suit going all right guys it's coming up he just kept promising us that midnight that midnight was approaching at some point and you for like hours he was telling us about how midnight was coming up um and that they were all gonna have a great time when it hits midnight it's really funny to say at like 3 p.m midnight's coming because it is it is he wasn't wrong no one could fault him on it on on the facts yeah um how about you did you sacrifice a virgin or something what did you do for uh well no i had i had uh

i'm gonna start calling it yeah yeah yeah nye yeah yeah. Yeah. I did. And it kind of sounds like saying New Year if you're from New Orleans or something. NYE. Or very posh. NYE. NYE. NYE. What are you doing for NYE?

Here's what I did for NYE. We just had a friend in London. Nothing fancy. But, Phil, it's resolution time. Have you done resolution? I have done some resolutions yeah um i have serious ones quite earnest or sort of yeah quite earnest i'm afraid yeah me too oh um do you want to go first we're all my my my first news resolution was always to let the other person go first. So you go ahead. Let me think.

So, well, I got a nice notebook as a gift. Okay, not really. That's more of a gift than a resolution. No, but I'm using the notebook to bully myself into doing the things. Okay. So I've written the resolutions. Yeah, I wrote them all down in the notebook.

My first resolution was use this notebook. And then... That's funny. Stuff like... Oh, I sorted out my cupboard yesterday. Your cupboard? Yeah, my wardrobe. Oh, as in you condoed your clothes?

Yes. Marie Kondo'd your clothes? Sorry clothes sorry yeah I forgot about Marie Kondo how soon we forget the heroes of the past how soon you forget yeah I spent the whole fucking day carrying huge father Christmas style bin bags of stuff I'd forgotten about to uh charity shop and now I have a very steve jobs minimalist cupboard oh great well done just lots of um black turtleneck jumpers yes and no belts no belts no belts um um yeah i very condo was sort of the sound of our time in in malaysia because um the the show was on our Netflix Play Next list and it plays that little preview and it kept playing this clip of Marie Kondo

looking at a very messy house and getting excited and going I love mess That became the soundtrack of our trip was Marie Kondo going I love mess I find I find something odd about her

because they are tidying your house shows in the UK and they have been historically, but they tend to be quite matronly women saying, oh my God, and sort of getting furious and disgusted. So for Marie Kondo to present herself as a sort of demon who eats mess. Yes, a demon who eats mess yes a demon who eats a mess um and sort of is very sweet seeming in the outside but it obviously has the capacity to kill

if she wanted to yeah and i what i like is that she's followed around by an interpreter which makes her seem like a sort of ambassador sort of like tidiness ambassador at at the un of your house yes yeah she's been sent by by some sort of different with almost from outer space yes yeah that's it she does seem very otherworldly i think the kill thing is right because you can tell because anyone who takes such joy in in chaos like you you know that she's only a few days away from sort of um describing a a person in your life as mess before killing them yeah and she's so small and nimble i i sort of picture i imagine she'd kill you by

sort of climbing into you somehow and breaking a vital organ inside you and then climbing back out really, really quickly. She'd straighten out your intestines. No more mess, she'd say. She unravels them from your torso. This gives me joy, she says as she leaps out holding your heart. Yeah, yeah. I'll keep this, she says as she puts the heart into her human skin knapsack so you can't you can't do it your wardrobe i did yeah because i haven't done it for years

and years and years i don't buy clothes i do not buy them no me neither me neither it's it's quite a male problem and i'm trying to get better at it yeah and i i did you know i've got a bit better at like getting clothes but if something is like wearable i find it very hard to throw out because it's still it's still you know provides the function of clothing and if something is still functional i find it very very hard to get rid of yeah you and you end up sort of gesturing at a draw and sort of saying to yourself does it not cover my shame does it not um yeah and not just the wardrobe phil but here's two more new year's resolutions only good socks only good pants only good socks only good pants as in in good condition yeah like nice looking yeah yeah yeah just good are we talking about a zero um

a zero tolerance for holes zero hole tolerance zero hole tolerance and and for socks especially zero um war almost worn through heel tolerance yeah that's very admirable i'm trying to get to zero hole um by 20 by 2025 yeah we've got a zero hole target you've become like you become the chinese government for holes in socks you'll be pursuing a zero hole policy um yeah exactly yeah i'm trying to get to zero i'm trying to pursuing a zero hole policy. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm trying to get to zero hole. Yeah. But it's hard.

It's hard because if you have a pair of boxes and there's a small hole right in the gooch, you think this is an ideal, but no one's going to find out. And it still performs the main functions of a piece of underwear. Well, you start to convince yourself that in a way, maybe a hole in the gooch is ideal. Yeah, maybe it allows just the right functions of a piece of underwear. Well, you start to convince yourself that in a way,

maybe a hole in the gooch is ideal. Yeah, maybe it allows just the right amount of air circulation. And it doesn't reveal a part of you that traditionally has to be hidden from polite society, you know? Do you think... Which is a famously neutral zone. Yes, it's true. Do you think Greta Thunberg would do a big speech

about the betrayal of our failure to get to Zero Hole? You have stolen my dreams with your holy underwear. She's holding up a pair of your pants in the UN. You have stolen my dreams. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I'll get new pants.

I'm busy and I forgot they were there and I washed them new pants. I'm busy and I forgot they were there and I washed them and I... Yeah. Yeah, so I made the commitment, Phil. I sat and I went through all the pants and socks and went, you know what? I felt like someone in a movie selecting the elite of a team or of some kind.

Yeah, that's fun. That's nice. You've got to give yourself a high bar. Yeah, you do. It's tough, but you've got to do it. I need to throw some shit out for sure. So that's a good news resolution that you've already done, which is impressive. It's because of the power of the notebook.

Do you have anything overarching? Do you have a sort of overarching change to your character news resolution? What be the kind of person who actually does these things and doesn't let them hang around for years i guess is the theme of most of them um yeah and the notebook's good because you look and the shame of a missing tick next to the item it's it it's the same thing that makes me complete complete video games compulsively i think i was just about to say you yeah it's about gamifying life isn't it yeah yeah which is why i eat all those golden rings and if i slip and fall they all come tumbling out of my mouth and anus

and you hurry to eat them back up. Yeah. Hello. No one is available to take your call. Please leave a message after the tone. Oh, hello. I'm just calling because it's the 1st of January and I am trapped. I'm trapped in a field. So, um, near parliament, parliament.

You've got to pronounce the I, otherwise what's the point in having it? Anyway, um, so, I, I, so I'm addicted to sulphur. It's a very unusual addiction, I know, but I love it. Normally I can get what I need from eggs, like various birds, but there is something of an egg shortage in the UK at the moment, and so I couldn't get my usual eggs, and I knew it was New Year's Eve, and I knew there was sulfur in fireworks, and so I snuck into the field bit where they put all the fireworks for the display for central London and lit it up and I was in there

and I was nibbling nibbling at the tubes to get at the sulphur like a smarty spaghet and I was there for too long I lost track of time. Um, and I get really sleepy when I'm full of sulphur. And I was awoken by the display, um, going off.

And it had singed my hair. And I was briefly on one of the rockets and only let go a few metres in the air. Um, it was frightening and mainly was just sort of screaming and being briefly exploded at midnight and then I've been too afraid to move since and I just had a little sleep

surrounded by the charred stubs of grass and wooden stakes so if you could send the fire men charred stubs of grass and wooden stakes. So if you could send the firemen to help to drag me out by my foot. My foot is the only unburnt part. Please help. Hi, guys.

A quick intercession here. Two plugs. I forgot to pluggy plug. Excuse me. My Soho Theatre run has been been extended if you don't know i've mentioned it before so there are three extra dates monday the 6th of february tuesday the 7th of february 8th of february it's a wednesday um so do come along all the other days are pretty much sold out unless you buy a seat on your own

and in which case, go for it. Yes, so please do come to Soho Theatre Central London if you are around. Another plug that's a bit sooner. Sarah Barron, who's a fantastic comedian, is doing the 18th

to the 21st of January. So that's next week as this comes out next week. And her show Hard Feelings is really, really good. I just think it's great. And you should go see it. There you go. Bye. So what about you? Give us a

taste of your resolution. Well, my earnest one is to try and be a little nicer. Because last year, my resolution was to be more selfish. Really? Yeah, my last year's resolution was to be more selfish. To try it out. Because in my life before that, I'd been very selfish. And I felt like I'd missed out on a lot by not being more selfish and by sort of caring too much about other people.

And so I thought, oh, let's give selfishness a go. So I did all of last year quite selfish. You had a selfish year. I had a selfish year. I had a selfish year, 2022. And at the end of it, I was like, yeah, yeah, this has been all right but there's also something sort of feels like there's something dark eating away at my core so maybe this year

i'll try the opposite and so this year i'm trying to be kind i'm trying to be like very compassionate both to myself and to others okay and maybe And maybe once I've done my kind, compassionate year, I'll compare it with my selfish year and see sort of where, which point of the compassion spectrum I want to occupy. So this year I'm being kind. So get your requests in this year, folks, because Wang's, he's handing out sweets this year he's he's

he's trying his best this is end of christmas carol wang okay i see i see this is interesting though you should try and write up what it was like to have a selfish year i would there'd be a really interesting article or something huh i wonder if I can summarize it. It was freeing but lonely. I think that maybe being kind is, what would I say? It's a little more joyful. Joyful is such a gross word. It's a little more rewarding, but tiring, maybe. Well, I mean, you're sort of accepting

that you're necessarily tied into other people, aren't you? That's it, that's it. And I don't find people very interesting, which is another thing I've realized, is that I don't find people in general interesting i don't care about people's lives or their stories i think i've never read a biography i thought was um good i don't care i really don't care about people's lives and i find it strange when other people care about other people's lives so when i wrote my book which is about my life broadly speaking

i was like who the hell is going to read this and people read it and liked it and i was very very grateful for that um and that sort of showed me oh this is actually quite a me thing not not to care about other people's lives um yeah i think i would say i would say so it's very funny as well to produce an object into a market that you yourself would never endorse well it's kind of like how uh what mark zuckerberg doesn't let his kids on facebook or whatever yeah yeah or my uh three hour mouth noise album but no it's just it's just not um i just think i don't see it as like a a personal thing it's like other people are just

a genre i don't i have no interest in but i'm trying to change that this year i'm trying to be more interested in other people and more compassionate i don't know if i don't know if you can synthesize that feeling but um i'm gonna give it a go that's interesting what's what do you think is you have you done the thing where you break it down into little steps? Little steps. Well, in part, the big step is like being nicer to myself and not getting, going, getting. I'm very hard on myself when I get something wrong. Yes, you are.

And I think that's because, yeah, I mean, you know this very well, but that's because I get such a thrill from criticizing other people. I feel, I have, I give myself these very high standards because then if I meet those standards, I'm qualified to be really critical of everybody else. Yeah, and you can shrug and say, these are just the rules. These are the rules and I abide by them. Yeah.

So now I'm going, I'm trying the other tack where like, it's okay if you mess up because it's okay if I mess up. And I'm going to see where it takes me. Aha. You're like a character in some sort of Bill Murray movie. Yeah, I think we don't take enough opportunity of New Year's resolutions to just do a personal experiment for a year. Yeah, that's true. It's a good idea.

And I like how it's tangible and intangible. I like that a lot. Maybe I should do a more intangible one, a more philosophical one. Now that I've sorted out the old pants, socks, debacle. Well, this is the thing. My news resolution has made it also... I've been a lot more productive just in the first week of this year

because instead of going, oh, I'm not going to bother with this email, I tell myself, it'd be a kind thing to do to yourself, for yourself, to take care of this email because you'll feel so much better afterwards do this email as a gift to yourself and I do it and it's done and it's done things I've been putting off for genuinely months have been done in five minutes and once I've now framed it as these gifts to myself instead of a task I have to do,

it's made things a little easier. Is there anyone that you can mention that was like such an easy thing? Because I have that with meter readings. Oh, yeah. Like I got, what is it one I can actually talk about? I mean, genuinely emails about things, about gigs, about bits of work.

I got locked out of something online. And the process of getting back in was a bit involved. And I just put it off for months and months and months. But it was inconvenient to be locked out of this thing and then i just thought just fucking do it well so what if just do it it'd be nice yourself if it doesn't work fine but it's a gift to yourself just do it and honestly it was done in 10 minutes it's done it's just done it's so quickly done and it's not something that's been in the back of my head for months. It's just so silly.

Task avoidance. Executive dysfunction. These are the terms. Executive dysfunction? What is that? Yeah, give it a Google. Have a look. There's different versions of it.

Anyone listening to this relating very hard to the idea of not being able to do anything for no reason give give that a google see what you think it's um executive executive dysfunction is a term used to describe the range of cognitive behavioral and emotional difficulties which often occur as a result of another disorder or a traumatic brain injury yeah but it's less crazy than it sounds individuals with executive dysfunction struggle with planning problem solving organization and time management yes okay so it's like a broad broad term for for all these difficulties yes and it's adulting yeah you could call it adulting is hard adulting is hard phil you should write that down has anyone said this adulting is hard i don't know i don't think i think that is the first time i've heard it put into those words Phil, you should write that down. Has anyone said this? Adulting is hard?

I don't know. I don't think... I think that is the first time I've heard it put into those words. And I think it's the first time I've heard it phrased so neatly. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Because, you know, being an adult,

you know, it comes with all these freedoms. But it also comes with all these responsibilities. It's a bit like... I don't know. It's a bit of a gilded I don't know if you've heard this phrase either I don't want to barrage you with new phrases but it's a bit of a gilded cage really a what sorry?

a gilded cage a cage like for an animal right yeah that's right a cage for an animal but in this case it's you, a person. I'm in the cage, okay. You're in the cage, but the cage is gold.

It's gilded, so it's very nice. It's a nice cage. Yeah, I mean, when you say it back at me, it sounds weird, and I'm starting to think, am I getting that right? Is this a Malaysian thing? No, it's not. No, it's not. I know it sounds like something from a foreign culture, a distant land but it's i think people here sometimes say it's a gilded gold a gilded cage

gilded cage so i'm trapped but it's nice yeah yeah or like there's there's plus sides to being trapped i don't know if that makes any sense or like it's a trade it's a trade off because you don't want to be trapped but you like gold because it's a precious metal right but I can't but I can't leave even though it's nice but I want to leave

it's a cage you're caged but some people say well why would you want to leave being surrounded as you are by gold which is something that a lot of people want. Yes, that's right. It's a tough one. It's a tough one.

It's a real push me, pull me. Yeah. It's a very tricky one. Yeah, I'm not sure. I'm going to have to spend some time thinking about that one, Phil. That is... You might have to take a philosophy evening class to really wrap your head around that yeah it's a lot i mean first you said adulting is hard and

i'm still bowled over by that you've you've summed up that feeling i had this morning when i thought about doing a meter reading and using a toaster. Oh, well, I had a new washing machine installed today, Pierre, and it's given me a new lease of life. I'm so thrilled it's done. I'm so thrilled. I mean, I cannot wait to discover the one thing that's wrong with it. Yeah, it's so exciting.

But it is otherwise done, and I can wash clothes in my own home, Pierre. Isn't it kind of nice when you you lose access to these things and then when you get them back you're like i can wash clothes in my own house it feels like a superpower going down the road for me oh yeah i remember the relief when i used to live in a in a soaking wet little flat and it had a horrible old washing machine that was like um smaller than an oven so it took so many loads in a row to get your all your clothes done and they all smelt of mold they were so bad i it was it was worse than if there had not been a machine because it made you think you could use the machine and yeah i was one of those guys who had all his laundry in a in

a bin bag and walked to the weird giant laundromat with a jingling pocket phil and this wasn't even because the washing machine was broken necessarily it was just effectively a mold spreader yeah it was a sort of going like would you like to very slowly throughout the day make sure that small clumps of your clothes smell of mould? And I said, no. No, not anymore. And then I went to this place which had dryers so big you could tumble dry a full duvet. Oh, brilliant. Wow.

That's good. That's big. Yeah, it was an industrial laundrette i guess is the british version yeah i'm i am always a little like huh surprised to see one in the uk because in my mind so heavily associated with new york yeah that's it because they're the flats they really don't have enough space for a washing machine some of them aren't allowed through because a building code that makes sense but yeah you're right it's a very it's a very um um uh interstitial scene in seinfeld sort of location yeah that's right that's right whereas in the in well certainly in l London, they seem to just be in places more on the, more in the,

well, I guess by necessity, close to places where people are more likely to have horrible washing machine scenarios. Like the one I had. Clothes were just never dry as well. Cause the flat was damp. I was just damp for a year. Damp.

You're damp. Yeah. I remember you're damp yeah yeah i was the other things just dripping dripping everywhere you went my resolution is to be clammy to the touch for a whole year i would love to i would like genuinely though i would love to read like a some piece of writing about your selfish year because i also really love i really laughed at you saying there was something eating at you it's really funny yeah yeah there was like uh it was always like i'd swallowed something dark i don't know if you can imagine this feeling of having swallowed something very dark um i'm i'm picturing yeah i'm picturing venom yeah i mean i guess the closest it's kind of like every time i said something mean

about someone else or myself is like having a little cigarette and is and but the tar built up over the year the tar in me just built up it was like i'm gonna try go a year without tar it was like the evil demon from fern gully i don't know fern gully oh it's great well relying on a completely childhood memory i think tim curry voices it oh i like this we went to the same school he went to my school in bath did he relying on a completely childhood memory. I think Tim Curry voices it. Oh, I like Tim Curry. We went to the same school. He went to my school in Bath. Did he?

Yeah. In a sort of Adam Sandler way. What do you mean? He had to come back and finish it with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brilliant actor. Stupid student. Stupid.

Yeah, okay. Well, I recommend Googling the sort of oily goop villain from Fern Gully who represents pollution, and you might find... Oh, okay. You might find a good visual metaphor for your own joy and sort of saying, what an idiot about yourself or others.

Fern Gully pollution monster. Yeah. Villain? I guess he's the villain. Oh, it's a cartoon. Yeah, it's a very Captain Planet sort of thing. Beautiful movie. Yeah, very Captain Planet vibes.

Oh, it's a movie. Yeah. Oh, this does look nice. It's one of those sort of slightly forgotten animation classics, I think. Is it British? No, no, I think it's American. Oh, that looks good. But it was in the heyday of Tim Curry.

Home Alone 2. Muppet Treasure Island. Muppet Treasure Island, what an incredible movie. Some cracking songs in that. Hans Zimmer. Yeah. What did he think he was doing? We've got cabin fever.

What's the opening song? It's so good. Like the pirate song. Shiver my timbers, shiver my soul. Yeah, shiver my timbers, shiver my soul. Really good. There's men with hearts as black as coal. And their names through the wang. Really good.

And their name's Phil Wang. You've had a heart as black as coal for the past year, Phil. Tell us about that. That would be a funny interview. I have. But I've now compressed it into a diamond. That would be a really funny red carpet interview with one of those big microphones like hollywood or like e entertainment we've heard you've got a heart as black as coal tell us about

that oh phil phil here um jeanette from e-news We've heard that you have a heart as black as coal. Tell... Why don't you tell all the people watching E! News what it feels like having a heart as black as coal. Was that fun? We've heard a little secret from your co-stars

and you start going, oh no. That you've got a heart as black as coal oh who told you that was it timothy um yeah yeah shake your fist chalamet yeah yeah yeah it's a heart as black as coal the rest of the gang they really you know they really make fun of me for it. But I just don't think life in general has all that much intrinsic value. But this... You know, in many ways, that's what this movie's about. That'd be funny.

That'd be funny. That's a good idea for a sketch. It's like really red carpet deep questions yeah yeah yeah but pitched by like a sort of Paris Hilton figure that's right that's right yeah really searching

and it's such an American thing this is an incredible clip I don't know if you've seen it I think the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Awards party or something. Yeah. And this British rock band has been, I can't remember who they are. I'm sorry if they're like a classic band.

But they've just been inducted into the Hollywood, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. And this girl, very peppy American. It's The Cure. Girl. It's Robert Smith from The Cure. Right, right, right. And the very, very peppy host goes like oh my god

are you guys excited and he just goes well not as much as you apparently it's so good it's just so well delivered it's just so good i love it so much oh i love that well phil it's time we've we've done so much it's time to slink away to the VIP area in Marie Kondo's brain. We must slink into the Kondo sphere. And as a little teaser for those of you not signed up to the Patreon, I will be talking to Pierre about Avatar 2, which I saw in Malaysia. Oh, yes, please. And I have some thoughts about.

So if that doesn't get you to sign up to Patreon, to be honest, I don't know what will. Otherwise, it's been great to catch up again. Hope you had a nice festive period. And Happy New Year! Bye-bye! Bye!