BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Budpod The Teen Commandments Podcast Live In Sheffield

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Phil returns to the BudPod house, joining Pierre for a lively episode featuring special guests Sara Cox and Clare Hamilton — the brilliant duo behind the Teen Commandments podcast. The gang dives into tales of their wildly different teenage years, the perils of swearing on live radio, and battle it off in a classic tat whisper!Head over to the BudPod Patreon to listen to the FULL show!Check out Sara and Clare's 'The Teen Commandments' here !Best friends Sara Cox and Clare Hamilton survived their chaotic teenage years together. Now they're back in the trenches with five teens between them - but armed with laughs, survival tactics and the kind of wisdom that only comes from being former rule-breakers themselves. Each week they’ll reminisce and commiserate as they attempt to make sense of the often mind-boggling behaviour of modern teens…because the best teen advice comes from those who know every trick in the book.Recorded at the Playhouse Theatre, Sheffield as part of the Crossed Wires Podcast Festival. 5.7.25. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back for your break. Now please welcome the stage, the original Bad Boys of Audio. It's Phil and Pierre. We guys here last half. I'm sorry. I should have looked at you more. I'm sorry. Did you genuinely, you just weren't aware of the rest of the audience?

Yeah, I'm like a baby with like object permanence. I'm just like, hey. Well, thank you so much for coming back. I think we've only lost a couple. So that's great. Now thanks for coming back. You're talking about food too much. It's lunchtime.

I think I was it. That'll be it. Please welcome. We're very lucky to have these guests for the second half. Hosts of the Teen Commandments podcast about being teenagers, having teenagers.

It's Sarah Cox and Claire Hamilton. There you go. Hello. Hello. Lovely to see you too. I'm a massive fan of the pod. Has anybody else heard of Budpod? Yeah.

That's a coincidence. We were just talking backstage about my brain fog. I'm obsessed with the idea that my brain is slowly turning into mulch. Oh, are you having the manopause? What's that? Yes, I don't know if it's a thing, but everyone's into it. Everyone's like, ooh. Well, just maybe you're too young for your brain to be.

This is what I've been told by medical professionals. But I think they're wrong. Phil has been taking sort of useless mushroom pills and omega-3 oils and things. Lion's mane. Ashwaganda, Lionsmane. My PT's been banging on about Ashraganda, yeah. My PT is also called Philip, but with an F. I didn't know that was allowed, but...

The Philip police were going to come and break down his door and be like, what's with an F? Do you guys take any health supplements, little extra things like Lions Main pills or anything? You get to 50 and you will take anything. You're just like, really, this will help? Will this help with all of my issues? Sand, handfuls of sand.

Yeah, lots of sand. Lots of sand. Lovely. Okay. Oh yeah, turmeric. We do keep having moments, don't we, where we're recording, and then we'll both just go, ooh, and then we just pause for about two minutes.

We have no idea what's going on. Brain stops working. Just fully stop. Just fully start. I think it's just about, like, the longer you live, the more memories are in your brain, and you're just running out of disk space.

Ah. That's it. Right? Yeah. I think it's a bit like a 101 in car park, isn't it? So whatever, I get a new thought, a relatively new one just immediately drops out, and he's dead to me.

If you just watch too many documentaries, you forget where you went to school. It's just... It's gone, it's gone. It's basically that. Yeah, I like that. I like the idea of our brains being like old home PCs. Yeah, yeah.

But you turn them on and they go, huh, ha! And they get very hot, and you look inside, and you look inside and it's just hairy with dust. It looks like old cheese at the back of the fridge. It's so dusty of the computer. I'm an old VHS tape. You know, the ones that always be labeled, like, you know.

Do not tape over Christmas Day Coronation Street, you know, because mum might want to watch that over and over again. You'd always be taping over your mum's favourite tapes. Just what my brain's like. Become like a montage. Yes. So many things have been added to the tape. It's just a kind of montage of culture over the 10 years.

Yeah, that's our brains now, isn't it, babe? By the way, this is very weird because I'm here with my bestest friend in the world and bridesmaid twice. Oh. I will go again. Yeah, you'll go again if need be. Thanks, babe. And Claire's a hairdresser from Whitefield in Manchester.

And we've started Teen Command... Oh, we've got a woo for Whitefield then, thank you. And we've started the Teen Commandments podcast together because she's just the most brilliant person I know. So I've unlocked the secret, which you two obviously know, the secret of working with a best friend. You're best... Or a close colleague.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Close colleague, I think. Yeah, yeah. Partners of convenience, really. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Co-founder. And that's why Anton Decker always so chipper, isn't it?

Because, you know, they get to work with their best friends. Well, we haven't known each other since our teenage years. I was 19, I was 18. I was sure he was a post-grad student because you're so massive and hairy. Yeah.

But he was, in fact, younger than me. Yeah. Phil, you asked me, are you a mature student? I said, no, I'm 18, I'm a fresher, and you went, ha-ha-ha. You did a really polite, like, okay, ha-ha, very funny. But genuinely, where do you,

What sort of teenagers were you? Yeah, well, this is the remake of your podcast, right? This is about what kind of teenagers you were. It's about raising teenagers, and it's about what kind of teens we were, because we met when we were 17 and 18. But there's also, it's just very different to my BBC show, so I do Tea Time at 4 Radio 2 every day. And I, that's obviously I love that show so much,

but this is much more, how do we? put it, real. I mean, I'm very real on the radio, but this is very, very real. You know, I would literally, like, the snipers would take me out if I talked about the stuff on the BBC that I talk about on this podcast.

Because I'm with my best mate, so we just want to make each other laugh. This is something I've always wondered about professional broadcasters like yourself, who we work on the BBC. Do we have snipers trained on us at all time? Yes, we do. Well, when, on the odd occasion,

I'm on something that has to be PG. I'm like this. I'm so tense the whole time. Yeah, yeah. And I just feel I'm going to say, a swear. Yes. I said,

I said, a dirty word. I said, I said shit on Jason Manford's show on Absolute Radio, and I was so embarrassed for a month.

I was just like, because it's not rock and roll, it's just embarrassing to say shit on, on Jason. You shouldn't have called it shit, though. It was more rude than it was embarrassing.

But do you find that when, when you do that as your job, that you kind of, you build up this sort of, not BBC appropriate stuff that you need to say. And then you need a podcast helps you sort of... Release valve.

Yeah, it's like a release valve. Like a release valve. It can all come flying out, yeah, when I get in front of a microphone with Claire. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, when you're on the BBC, it's a bit like being that I would never in front of my, you know, my grandma shout the F word or something.

So you do just have that bit of your brain. Well, yeah, you can't. I mean, the listeners sometimes say it or guests sometimes say it 20 years ago, Ali G. did to get some publicity for the song that he was doing with Shaggy. Which you already can't sound pretty much. Yeah, exactly. So he dropped the F-bomb because he was saying motherfucker.

You can say it on this. Oh, fine. What he did was he was he was acting as if he didn't want to swear. So he spelt the word mother, so he went M-O-T-H-E-R Fokker. live on radio on breakfast to 7 million people including all my bosses

and the journalist of the Daily Mail and the world stopped spinning just for a moment What goes through your head when something like that happens live on radio? Then, well

it was just you know in the Simpsons where they cut into they go into Homer's head and there's two monkeys on a C-Sall it was basically that I was just like And my producer laughs and all this, which was really unprofessional.

Because of that, they made a rule. I kind of wanted them to call it the Sarah Lecox-Legie-G rule. They made a rule of what you have to do, the process you have to go to when someone swears live on national radio, which is you apologize, you cut the person off, you play a song and all this. That's what happened on Jason Manson's show. So wait, I was like, I didn't know we were playing a song here. Is that the origin of the rule? You invented the rule.

It's basically my rule that they had to do something because it was so bad. When I left that day, I had on a t-shirt that said, dirty, dirty house music. You know, I was young, I was crazy. And the paps are out there, and they took a picture, and they cropped it, so it just said, dirty, dirty. And it was out all over the papers. But 20 years later... Even her clothes are swearing. Even her clothes are potty-mouthed.

And then 20 years later, on Radio 2, on All Request Friday, somebody called up to Request a song and it was Queen and like, don't stop me now. And I'm having a chat to this guy. And it seemed to be going all right. There was a couple of bits. I was a bit, it didn't seem to add up. Anyway, he then just out of nowhere went, oh, and by the way, Sarah, Matt Hancock is a cunt.

On radio too. And I commentate because I do the rules. So I go, I'm cutting off that man. I'm so sorry, this is live radio. He's going, we're going to play a song. I'm sorry if there's children listen. And I played the song.

And because it's all Request Friday, there's no other songs loaded because all the listeners choose the songs. And so Jeremy Vine, my good friend and fellow broadcaster, was like, he called Matt Hancock a cunt. What does he have to do to not get his song play? You still played Queen. I was like, here's Queen.

I was like, he had a choice. Still, it was good of Boris Johnson to call in. Well, you know what? He did say he had a son called Boris, and that's what there was a little alarm. I was like, hang on a minute, but, you know, it was live and we got to it. So we can swear, can't we?

We can talk about our lives. What were you guys like as teenagers? Well, there's no brain cells. This is what we were getting at all. We've fried quite a few of those, haven't we? Yeah, I mean, I was a little bit more mischievous than you, wasn't I? Claire was well hard. I didn't know her at school, but I wish I had

because she could have battered my bullies. We were both bullied at school, but Claire handled it differently, didn't you? Yeah, I used to give them back chat from a distance, though, and run off. She'd be like, you silly cow. But we met as teens, and then that's when we got into, well, we were up to a little bit of mischief, weren't we? Yeah, I mean, before that, we were just the usual teens. Anybody got teenagers at home or near them or in their lives in any way?

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. You can hear the enthusiasm. The sound pretty tired. Yeah. Yeah, the exhausted people just gently weeping in a fetal position. We've got teeth.

So, yeah, we, you know, we were regular teenagers. We were lazy. We were selfish. You know, we didn't, you know, couldn't be asked to help. My mom was working every hour with God's sense, and I just didn't lift a finger any of the house. The dream for me was to watch Neighbors twice in one day because it was the same episode repeated,

but you're like, yes, it's been a good day. So I need to learn this off by heart. Yeah, yeah. It's also very intricate storylines on there. You miss a lot to the first time around. Then you have to pick up, like Easter eggs and hidden meaning, and you've got to foreshadowing.

Yeah. I was a lazy teenager, but not self, quite conscientious, too conscientious. Oh, in what way? I just very well behaved. It's such a good boy. Also, we were fucking dweeps. I hope that's clear.

I was trying to put it more kindly than that, but yeah, we were real-time strategy boys. We spent most of our time playing medieval to, or Total War or Age of Empires. That was our teenagers. Look, yeah, yeah.

Your computer games. We were like kids. We were not, we're not getting up to dirty, dirty rave. No, no, no. No, we did, we've tried to vacuum the rave. Clean, clean, computer, that was us. Did you go, did you go to border school?

Did you go? For two years in Brunei when I was a kid, yeah. But I suffered about, I suffered that as a teenager, I was first in a teenager in Malaysia in Borneo where you couldn't get up to any mischief because there just wasn't none to get to. I couldn't get anywhere.

You couldn't even put it on to a chippy or anything? No, you're living like the suburbs and there's no real bus service and so once you're home, you're home. You can't do anything. And then when I was 16 I moved to the UK, but to bath. Also not very much mischief.

The most genteel place in that. Yeah, the most mischievous thing you could do is get to a sea. which I did do for decision maths, which is one module, and that was my rebellion done. I mean, if you guys ever, you know, have a family and things like that, it's going to be like a result.

Together? Yeah. It's just couple counselling. We have the first podcast that's successfully adopted. That'd be so fun. Come on. You'd raise the perfect podcaster. It'd be like John Wick.

Raised to do one thing. Incredible. The perfect machine. But I mean, your children may, it might be like the reverse Saffy, you know, from Ab-Fab, where there's the wild parents and the very well-behaved teen.

You know, it may do that generational thing where your own kids one day may be. Switcheroo. Completely wild. I mean, I don't know how you, what sort of parents would you be to this imaginary teenage?

Really unfun. Really, really, yeah. Really. Like, my kids' friends would be like, sorry, is your dad a comedian? His job is to go out and be a laugh. They'll be horrified. They'll be so confused.

I'll be a, fuck it. A real prick, yeah, a real horrible. I'll be like a dad in a coming of age film. I'll just get trousers with braces on and stuff, you know? I've gone straight laterhosen. You don't mean that. Yeah, yeah, good, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lader Hosen. Oh, don't, don't. If Dad can't find his Lader Hosen, that's actually ruined. Yeah, you know you're in trouble when dad starts un-sheaving the bits of fabric that go over the shoulders.

Start his yodling. Starts down his alpine horn. It takes off his little green Peroni hat. Not Peroni. What's the other one? Moretti, yeah, the Moretti hat. Oh, very nice.

All the alpine yodeling guys are wear the little Moretti hat. Yeah, very nice. A jaunty angle. Yeah. I think I'd want them to do what I missed out on, you know, like sport. I think I'd definitely be like you need to do some sport.

Please don't become like me. Yeah. You'd be as strict as perhaps your own parents academically, but with like doing crunches. Yeah. Get out there and make some friends who skateboard. They all know where the weed is. Yeah.

Take these cigarettes and I don't want to see any left. I have to do. I want to turn around the bed at all be smoked. I came home last night and you were in bed. Fast asleep. That's not where we were racing. You were dropping them off at the local precinct. We were talking about it on the pod,

weren't we, about the sad loss of kids hanging around on precincts. Or The Bench. We had a place called The Bench where we'd regularly get patted down by the police. Really? Yeah, the boys I was with. would be dropping like, you know, an eighth of weed down there, throws a leg and into their shoes.

Yes, madam. A little giggle from the madam from there. I see you. I see you. You know, wild times. And the lost art of, you know, a small, quite intimidating gang of teenagers outside of chippy or the off license. That's how we spent our misspent youth.

Yeah. Neckin bottles of whatever. Thunderbirds back in our day. Thunderbirds? That's such a British in the park alcoholic drink. Yeah. I love the reaction. What is Thunderbirds?

What kind of drink is Thunderbird? Well, you were either. If you were Thunderbird Red, give us a cheer. Yay. Oh. Just one. And then there was Thunderbird Blue. Yes.

Thunderbird Blue was for the more genteel park drinker. And Thunderbird Red was much tougher. That's what you were. Yeah, I don't actually know what it is, though. It's like Marlborough's. Like the past just one is the red one. Yeah, I think it's a little bit like that. I think it was it a fortified one.

It was very cheap, it was very alcoholic. Wicked is then the same thing. Yeah, Thunderbird. Blue seems to win. Yeah. What you say, madam? Thunderbird. This lady's from Norwich.

Say no more. The city of wordplay. I remember the first time I got really drunk was in Sarawak in Borneo. We'd been to a jazz festival. So embarrassing at my Thunderbird in the toilets of McDonald's in Bolton now. But it was on like Malibu. I think I had a lot of Malibu and J.D. and Coke.

Everything had to have a lot of Coke in it and be really sweet. And I got so, yeah, I got very, very drunk. I started getting a little too mouthy with what turned out to be a local gangster. but like enthusiastic I was very enthusiastic about his tattoos so I was like

wow look how many tattoos you have and so he let me live How did you get this machete so shiny Your origin story could have been so different if that would have gone wrong

there you'd have been what would have happened if you'd invited you to join my first time getting really drunk was Smirnoff Isis I think

at someone's house on the Isle of Man when their parents were away yeah somebody's doing well Smirnoff I know, yeah. Well, it was all Smyrna off ice and Blue Wicked

were the two options. They got into Dad's cabinet. Yeah. They broke into the cellar. Dad keeps all his Smirn of Ice is behind his cigars. What was the challenge, the thing that you'd have to kneel down and down in Alka Pop? It was like torpedoing when you put like a score.

But it was a call the specific thing. People would just hand you a Smirnaf Ice in the middle of the day and you had to drink it. No matter of what was going on. It was like this meat. Was it that what's called ice? Getting iced. Someone would just produce a Smirnoff Ice at 9am

at the end of be like iced and you'd had to take the knee out of respect and down it like this like you're like blowing a trumpet in a film or something. Wherever you were whatever time of day no matter what?

What happened if you didn't would like I guess they'd just murder you immediately they'd kill you with the bottle. You just didn't want to risk it like I'm drinking. Live by the sword dying by the sword. Yeah. We have just I swear about time if you guys are interested

in doing some tap whispering. Oh yeah. Yes. Are you guys familiar? That's why I've sat at this aggressively unfriendly animal, by the way. I was just... Because the screen is there.

It's going to come up on the screen. I don't want you guys. No looking, no cheating. I'll be terrible at this because I'm terrible at it when I listen to it on the pod. I'm often terrible at it when I'm listening to it. And in fact, Sanios can be seeing you guys. It's not tap because it's a prince lyric but I do have a T-shirt saying I just want some extra time

and then a little sort of lip thing had been stitched on this T-shirt especially for me This morning at like half five, I was like, uh-uh, I am not going with anything written on me for Bud Pod. What's the full lyric? I just want your extra time and your kiss from Prince. I thought I just want a little extra time in your mouth. I thought, yeah, I thought he was more romantic than that.

It's not his best. Towards the end, Prince was getting extremely. extremely direct. Literal. It's the worst chat up line. He thought people weren't picking up enough on what he was saying. It had to be more obvious.

Do you guys own an ETAT? Oh God, in my don't says, Lou, and every time I think of it, all right, you like you do. You do. I just remember it. Yeah, that in the don't say Lou. I don't know why it's up,

because I've listened to the pod for years, so every time I look at it, I'm like, Jesus, they'd kill me. If ever my dream comes of getting the guy, it's back for a dinner party to mine, and I'll have to move that. Yeah, it is somewhat like, you know, what's it, like laugh more. Live, say sorry, live, you know, drink water.

Be happy. It's shit. I don't know why it's up there. It's really not on brand for me. But the worst thing is my phone did a really weird thing the other week. And my producer of Morning Live, which is like a BBC one, we have a big WhatsApp group with all the presenters like Gething Jones and Helen Skelton, like former blue people and all the experts from this BBC show.

all doctors, they're all DIY, they're all finance people. There's dozens of people on this group. And my phone, without me doing anything, sent some tat to the entire group, including all the bosses is on this group. On a Friday, it sent the same thing three times, which was like a picture of a cup of coffee, and it said, I love a Thursday because it's Friday Eve. And I got a different lot of time off the group from one of the bosses who I love, right? Bruce it and he was like, I presume this isn't from you, what's happening?

And I was like, what? Because it kind of could have been worse. You never know what I've sent. And I was looking at, I was like, no! And Helen Skelton blessed off of Blue Peter, so nice, Blue Peter raised. You know, she was like, yeah, I love coffee too, Sarah. Oh, I'm like, no, it wasn't from me. I wouldn't write that shit.

That's what you want is someone who, if you, if you poo yourself, they'll just also poo themselves. and just say, well, I like it as well. I also think that's good. Here's one I prepared earlier. Technology, like, completely tatted. Oh, God. Very nice.

Yeah. Fri-Yeave. Can't wait for next Thursday. So embarrassing. He's just trying to enjoy Freiree. A rumor spread that Sarah can't be in the moment. Well, let's see if those intact instincts pay off. It's wine o'clock somewhere.

Give me the coffee and no one gets hurt. Bless this mess. I like two things. Pals and Poseco. And I'm all out of pals. One Poseco, two Presceco, three Presceco, floor. If the wife asks, I'm working. Keep calm and keep drinking tea.

Cat attack. Give it up to Felipe for coming up with animation. So good. And you've got a very tattie font there for tatt attack, Felipe. Lovely. So Claire, in case you don't know, Pierre's going to read out some tats that's been sent in by listeners. And we have to try and complete what Pierre's left out.

Oh, good. So you're doing it too. Yeah, we're going to do. It's a very gentle competition here. And I say gentle because I'm worried I will lose. Yeah. You will. pre-saying is a meaningless competition. Unless I do well.

I hope the lady from Norwich can mine things at us. What we need? Oh, it'll be like the coughing major. Yeah. One cough for live, two for love. Three for laugh, yes. I'll be lying on you, madam. So we've got some tat from

Ollie, from Sydney. So that's from Ollie. You want to do a little right? Ollie, jolly. So jolly. So jolly. hear from you might. That's brilliant. Just to be sensitive to his culture. Now he'll understand. Hello, brave bud boys.

I wanted to share this recent facelift, a local cafe, CAFI. You and Australian. It's getting to me through the email. A local cafe in Bondi. So this is in Bondi, the sort of beach bit of Sydney,

underwent after being taken over by some new owners. I'd love to know, so the owners are from China. The reason this is relevant, is because he wants... The Orient. The Mysterious East? New owners.

Actually, he's in Australia, so the mysterious north. Oh, yes, yeah, okay, yeah. Northerner. The reason he mentions it is because some of the stuff that has been scrawled all over the front of this cafe

is quite, like, Google translated. It's odd. I will warn you. It's going to be hard to guess purely because some of it is... It does not really words or sentences. So it's going to be quite difficult to guess. And I will say it has been painted onto the front of a white cafe frontage

with just like random blue paint by someone's hand. It's not even really printed. It could so easily have been vandalism. Okay. It's quite odd. So just to give you a taste of it, I'm going to read, as it's written, one sort of column of it that's on the side near a window. Listen to music, get a cup of coffee, read books by art, smell, flowers, dance,

like today is your last sunrise. It's not that far from my dance, seriously. You've got this. Dance like today is your last sunrise. It's quite, oh, God. It's very like samurai thing to say. Yeah, it was my last sunrise. He pulled his guts out.

Just dancing, dancing as he decapitates his own himself. Dance like, dance like it's your last day. It's such a, like no one's watching, and live every day like it's your last. They've fused that there, haven't they? To go, dance like you're going to die tomorrow. Dance like it is your last! It's quite like cowboy shooting at your feet, I think.

So, okay, underneath this, it says, this is the beginning of blank blank. What do you think that is? This is the beginning of blank, blank, of happy life. It's a good, it's the right ballpark. It's not that. I'll give you a slight clue. coming in with your time.

Oh, that's a really good game. Even closer. The word your is within it. So it's, this is the beginning of verbing noun. Your being, there's yours in it. There's also a verb in now. I'll give you, the second word is yourself, so I'll give you that. Oh, okay. It's self-focused.

Oh, so. This is the beginning of blank yourself. Oh. Being. Close. Loving. Yes. Oh, it's DeN effort.

That's good. I tap that in. This is the beginning of loving yourself. This is the beginning of loving yourself. Yeah, just a pinini, thanks. Don't fucking talk to me like that.

Do you guys do sandwiches? This is the beginning. This is your final sunrise. Okay. Just see no. No. Underneath this is the beginning of loving yourself, it just says, welcome home. Nice.

Do what you love. That's on there, randomly scrawled in a corner. Look blank, I can blank. This is the same sign. This is all scrawled all over the front of a cafe. Look black like it's been vandalized with blue paint. It's absolutely mad. Look, mum, I can own a cafe.

Look, mom, yes. Look, mom, I can blank. Close? What's better than living? Loving. Loving. Loving. Closing. Laughing.

What's more like, what's more like bigger and more ambitious and... Look my might can win. Clown. Yeah? Triumph, um... ...explore. Look, mother, I can try it. Behold my triumphs, mother.

This is your last sunrise. Look, Mom, I can be. Even more like, hey, get out there. Do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, up. Achieve, try. It's up there. Win too much, no.

Look, Mom, I can. Dream. It's another verb. It's like one of those verbs like dream and win. Look, Mom, I can hope. This is so annoying. It'd be a heartbreaking postcard. Look, Mom, I can hope.

I can hope again, Mom. I can hope. Look, Mom, I can... Up there. I see. I'll give you... Fly. I can fly. Fly.

Of course. I can fly. I feel lightheaded. Yeah, yeah. I didn't breathe for. It's amazing tat. A bit of class. It gets a bit more normal with party now, adult, later.

A bit of fun. Lovely bit of fun. Exactly what I want. It was a wimp. Yeah. Yeah, I'd love to party in the cafe I go to in the day. Now this phrase, this is going to be, I'd be amazed if you get this. It's so odd.

Zoom in just to the left of the little cartoon in the middle, please, Felipe. Zoom in and enhance, Felipe? Yeah, yeah, enhance. You always wanted to say. So, okay, I blank my hair because you don't blank my blank. I know, yeah. I will say this, it doesn't make sense. This is a separate thing.

This is like a sign? They're all, it's all just sentences scrawled on the front of this cafe. Oh shit, we're still on the front of this cafe. Wow. I can't emphasize how covered the cafe is with gibberish. Okay. I blank my hair because you don't blank my black. I bleach my hair.

Close. I dye my hair. I color my hair. Close. Cut my hair. Cut my hair. Oh, I cut my hair. I cut my hair because you don't blank my blank.

I will say the second blank is not hair. I cut my hair because you don't like my ponytail. Yeah. Yeah. I cut my hair because you don't trim my bush. Oh, nice. We're live on BBC Radio 2.

I'm so sorry, we're going to pay. He's queen. Don't stop now. Oh, this is impossible. So it doesn't really make sense. These are the hardest ones. Because you don't float my boat, you don't like my fire. Is it any of those?

See what you think of it. It's kind of that. I cut my hair because you don't care my heart. Okay. This is not fair. That one is not fair, that's true. What do you think it means? I cut my hair because you don't care, my heart.

Well, I mean, you don't care my heart is a kind of thing I would have heard like growing up in Malaysia that kind of broken English. And I understand, we don't care about my feelings, you don't care my heart. Okay, so you would have overheard. The worst thing another kid could say to you as growing up in Malaysia was,

I don't friend you anymore. Oh. I don't friend you anymore. Oh, you're all the whole world. would collapse because they don't go and cut the hair. Yeah, exactly. So you can picture someone saying,

you don't care my heart, la? Yeah, yeah, big time, big time. And then you'd over here that like outside a bar. Yeah. Big fight. Yeah. You don't have any sympathy for me.

No, after a jazz gig. Yeah. After one of those rough mafia attended jazz gigs. I cut my hair. I mean, if it's a Chinese owned, there was, you know, the men who had had very long ponytails,

that could not be cut. But you'd cut them if you were disgraced, right? That's right. Ah, maybe that's it, yeah. I cut my hair because you don't care my heart, so I'm so sad. It might be like an old Chinese poem or something. Yeah, it's like a saying. Like if we try to translate into Mandarin,

like, you know, take your coat off or you won't feel the benefit. It would just come out as like, remove your clothes for money or something like that. Why is that on the cafe? That was brilliantly foody-duddy, mum, they pulled from nowhere. That phrase is always in my head

because growing up, I thought, what does it fucking mean? You take your coat over, you wouldn't feel the benefit of the inside heating? Is that what it means? No, I thought so you don't, if you just put your coat on

when you go outside because you feel the benefit of the coat when you go outside when it's cold. Oh, I see. Yeah, it's always stuck in my head where I feel like, the benefit of coats.

Which doesn't make any, it's the most British sentiment. It's like, Don't put your coat on now. You should suffer at least a little bit first. Otherwise, this isn't good because it's not suffering. Go outside and be cold first. Taste it.

Taste the reality. Taste the season on your skin. Then coach yourself. Feel the dankness of the UK. Yes. We've run out of time, but you guys did very well. That's at least an above 50% guess rate, I think. Yeah, I mean, you did well.

You did well. Real, thank you. The dream, it's a dream to take part in that. I love the pod so much. Thanks so much for joining. nice to have you have you on. It's a pleasure. Make sure you guys check out the tea in commandments as well.

I mean, I've got a QR code on my banana skirt. Yay. As you do. That's a sentence no one's ever said before. It's a brand new sentence. If anyone has a phone and a telescopic lens, they can scan this now. I can move amongst the audience with my pelvic area.

That's a threat. Everyone for the rest of the day, make sure to sprint up to Sarah with your phone pointing at her waist. Thank you. Also you're DJing today at the festival. Yeah, at Dayfever. Claire and I be out of the decks. Yeah, I've got no idea what I'm doing.

I'm going to be teaching. Teaching. Well, no, Claire's going to be dancing. Yeah. And getting the crowd whooped up. Where and when? That is happening at, oh, good point. I think it's 4 o'clock.

Yeah, starts at 3, 4 till 5. That is Vickiecklew's thing, the day fever thing. Oh, great, okay. Yeah, that she started for people who just don't want to stay up late and go out raving. Yeah, like dweeps like us. Yeah. Perfect. Oh, fantastic.

Well, thank you very much for coming. Thank you. And I hope you guys enjoyed being on BloodPod. Give it up. Thank you. Thank you. That's Bud Pod. Thanks so much.

Thank you very much. Have a lovely festival. Thank you very much for coming. Give it up to Felipe and all the staff at the theater. See, guys. Lovely. Bye-bye.