BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 106 - Shitcoin

Episode Date: March 17, 2021

The boys are back and hungry for vaccines, chatting' 'bout bitcoin, jazz, Elon Musk, being a Remoaner with ambiguity, Bill Gates being your real dad and our best moments. Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's 1.06. Uh, I... 1.06? What is that? Is that anything? Um... 1.06... Uh... Uh... Gunno... GunnoFix.

GunnoFix. GunnoFix is my new firearms repair service all app based it's all on the app we have no office you just open up your GunnaFix app and

someone will come over to your place and will fix your um Uzi. I am gonna... 106, get some kicks. Where does that phrase come from? Get some kicks out of stuff. Right, yeah.

Get your kicks on Route 66. Get your kicks. I don't know. Maybe it's like those old dance moves that used to have a lot of kicking in them. So you go out and have a dance and kick kick yourself maybe time maybe it's like in the old days people were more like three-year-olds and when they had a good time they just kicked their legs out well yeah they got on their backs like uh like a bug and just sort of that's like um some of those photos you see of like of white guys in the 1930s reacting to jazz.

And they're clutching their head and falling down. They're just amazed at this saxophone sound. It must have been incredible. If all you'd ever heard was Bach and then someone someone started playing blue notes like da da da da and you go what

you must have broken your brain you've never heard live music or you've heard like your grandfather singing a song which is like gotta get myself a brand new jug just something about jugs songs are still all about jugs of course

but a different kind of jugs that's right it's about the jugs you don't blow air on the lid of unless they want to unless they like it unless you've both agreed as adults that is a good thing

to do um have you uh um have you got your vaccine yet Phil I haven't and I'm livid no no I'm too god damn fit and healthy

this my whole life I've been out of breath Getting up the stairs And yeah I've got Athletes foot And you know I feel like I should be Ahead of some people

In the queue but I don't think I'm ahead of anyone I've sort of Physically Inept enough to suffer generally in my life but not physically um impaired enough to skip ahead of the queue i'm in the worst of all worlds really yeah i don't what is i think i don't respect athlete's foot i'll say it do you did i mean do you not hear the athlete part of it I think I don't respect athlete's foot. I'll say it. Do you not hear the athlete part of it?

Yeah, that's the part that confuses me. But also, like, as a condition, it's just like, right, so you're going to kind of... You eat my foot skin? What are you? Do you spread? And athlete's foot is like, nah. Yeah, it's just sort of like a growth. It's like you've got

a little garden down there, a little overgrowth. You've got weeds. You've got weeds on your foot, basically. They're foot weeds. To me it's in the same tedious category as like you have to cut your nails. Right. But everyone has to cut their nails

not everyone is athletic enough to have athletes foot I just mean in stuff that's not serious enough to be dealt with in a way that feels necessary but is still there and annoying like cutting your hair

why does our hair keep growing? I don't understand can a doctor please tell me what the benefit of our hair and our fingernails always growing is? That's what I mean. It's a form of basic body admin that I find to be drudgery. But if you lose a leg, tough luck.

It's not going to grow back. Only the useless things grow back. Only the things that are a chore to maintain grow back. Things you actually need to grow back don't grow back. Yeah, I don't have to go get my liver trimmed. Actually, your liver does grow back. We're going to have to give you a lung cut. Your lungs have overgrown. You're too breathy.

Horrible. Yeah, that would not... Yeah, it does sound gross. Yeah, I wouldn't want to be that. That's not a good career path. Lung trimmer. Speaking of illness, have you seen how the EU are now committed to shitting their pants every day? Yes, every single day they've decided that, you know, some guy,

some guy called Horbjorn Spordeldorn will stand up and say, my uncle has a friend whose friend took the vaccine and died, so we're going to stop it now. It's unbelievable. I mean, it's like they watch Britain shit its pants every day for four years and thought, now we would like to try. There's a law in the EU that negotiations have to be equal between partners. And so every time Britain shat their pants, the EU made a note of it.

We'll do this later. We'll do this all in 2021. It is embarrassing, especially because, Phil, we are, you know, Remainers. Ramonas. Rewingers. Regloters. Briefly.

Briefly regloters. The regloting only lasted for a month. Yeah. That's what I'm annoyed so much more, most about is that you are embarrassing me yes it feels like

I imagine this is what it's like to watch your football team do really badly in an important match it's like come on I bought the shirt I bought all the tickets I defend you online. And this is how you thank me. I shit on my friends who disagree that you're good.

That's right. That's true. This is you and me, like, clasping our hands together and looking at the EU flag and saying with wide eyes, is this football? Is this what football fans have every day? Yeah, it's really embarrassing. It's amazing how someone whose job is to be a bureaucrat

who understands numbers can still just not understand numbers. Yeah, I mean, so just to bring people up to speed who maybe are not as, how you say, unsociable as us, the EU are, like, a few

EU countries, including the Netherlands, and, like, the famously sensible ones, the ones that we all go, oh, I wish I lived in Norway. But it's like Norway, Netherlands. Yeah, Ireland. I think Iceland. Ireland. I think Ireland as well, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, in Ireland, they're saying no to the Oxford vaccine, just to be sure, to be sure. It's because one of them took it and started talking about the queen and they thought this is a trick yeah but basically a number of people who've had the oxford vaccine have had blood clots the same number of people who would have got a blood clot anyway from just being alive well that's what's amazing is there's a Finnish study that shows that it's actually even less people, fewer people, than would have had blood clots in the general population.

Really? Yeah, it's not quite as many. It's almost as much as a normal amount. It's truly incredible to watch the EU turn into your uncle on Facebook. I mean, what happened? Just to go, like, my 99-year-old grandmother uncle on Facebook. And to just go and just to go like

my 99 year old grandmother ate a pancake and the next day dead. A truck ran over her and flattened her into you know what shape? Pancake. Coincidence? And do you know what the truck was

carrying? A syrup I think she turned into Pot Pancake, saw a syrup truck Wanted to be covered in it And she ran into the road Overcome with her new pancake DNA I'm asking for a hundred million From Bill Gates to keep the story to myself.

But yeah, I mean... Is it you going... Because they've not been able to get... First, they didn't have enough Oxford-AstraZeneca vaccines. And now they don't want them. Is it the case that they went, well, we're not getting these anyway. we might as well score a few points yeah and say oh it's gross anyway i didn't think you were that fit you frigid frigid

well i mean it's the pfizer vaccine that's to be frigid. Yes. To be fair, that is a very frigid vaccine. The most frigid vaccine by far. Do you think in the long run it would actually save money to write correlation is not causation on the moon? Just so that every night, every human on Earth had to look up and go, oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude, with every chapter of thinking fast and

slow i feel that much smarter than everyone else on earth and it goes you you number ignoring fools you barbarians with your feelings and your hunches. Yeah, I mean, as you say, it must be what it's like to support a suddenly shit or selectively shit football team. Yeah. Yeah.

Hopefully it'll dispel this myth of the perfectly run Scandinavian countries. Yes, yeah, which is never... The myth only exists outside of Scandinavia. Yeah, yeah. They're sort of like Europe's New Zealand.

Yes, yeah, oh yeah. Oh yeah, that'll be the day when Jacinda Ardern comes out as QAnon. She's been really sensible this whole time And then she comes out and goes At least we don't have a secret network of paedophiles Like in the United States And everyone goes Sorry what?

Could everyone be calm? I'm just waiting for the next message from Q To know what to do next I've been following his advice the entire time. That would be the most terrifying is if she was a QAnon follower but then she'd interpreted all the advice

really sensibly. Yeah, that's funny. That'd be strange. Her natural sensibleness had just filtered into the conspiracy in her own head. Yeah. Yeah. Have you... Bad doctor, Brie Romina.

Yes, yeah. Have your parents got the vaccine yet? My parents have both got their letters. My dad's getting it very soon. Today, I think, in fact. And my mum is getting it in a week. Yeah, it's like... It's kind of like an exciting jury duty.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What would you call it? Nothing needle-related sounds like jury. Jabby duty. Jabby duty. Jabby duty. Injury. Injby duty that's jabby duty injury injury it's not really an injury i mean technically a filipino lady is going to stab you but yes in um in the best possible manner my my mother has had both of hers oh Oh, great. Because she is a doctor, NHS.

My father's in Malaysia. I think he might get his in a month or a bit, but we don't know. We don't know. Oh, okay. All right. Well, you know, I'm just looking forward to meeting Bill Gates. Yeah, in your dreams. In my dreams, or both of my parents will just turn into Bill Gates. Yeah, in your dreams. In my dreams where both of my parents

will just turn into Bill Gates. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just grow his glasses and his sort of calm confident nerdiness. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the final way he's going to

really defeat Steve Jobs is that Steve Jobs will have passed away and Bill Gates will be everyone it was a real mark of maturity to realise that between the two is actually Bill Gates that's the good one for ages you think oh it's Steve Jobs

who's the good one he makes the max he was like the underdog for ages and then they broke through to become the biggest company on earth and then he died and you go no that's sad or whatever but it's only later on you realise oh

it's actually Bill Gates who's like eradicated polio or whatever and and i mean without him like where would we be at right now with the vaccines we'd be far behind we're way far behind yeah vaccines and and polio and measles and uh malaria yeah steve steve jobs was like the um overly generous uh stepdad but windows me was that shit that everyone's gone, he must be an idiot. He must be a dickhead.

Have you seen Outlook? He must be an asshole. What's access even for? Why do we all have access? Yeah, everyone's gone, God, Bill Gates' dad, you're so lame. Not like cool stepdad Steve Jobs. He buys me trucks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He bought me a phone with a camera in it. What can your phone do? Yeah. Paul William Gates. Steve Jobs was a former hippie, which, as we all know, should have made him untrustworthy from the start. Yeah, this was in a time when I thought that hippie, you know, if you're a hippie, it's like, you're all into peace, man.

But you're not, yeah, it's just selfishness and long hair, that's all hippiedom is. It is a lot of fun to... Yeah, go on. It is a lot of fun to... Huh? Yeah, go on. No, I was just saying it's a lot of fun to... You, me, and fellow comedians and friends, Finn Taylor, Sean McLaughlin,

used to do this to adopt deliberately anti-hippie rhetoric from the sort of 70s, like Nixon stuff. Goddamn long hairs! Yeah. Yeah, well, if you told me when I was like 16 that most of my adulthood would be spent hating hippies, I wouldn't have

believed you. But I should have. I should have. But I was just thinking, like, Bill Gates... Basically, I don't know if we've discussed this before, Elon Musk keeps getting named the richest person in the world, and I don't know why.

I've seen, like, 15 Teslas in my life. Like, how is he richer than Bill Gates? Or Jeff Bezos? Somehow. Somehow Elon Musk has gone up to the finance world, and he's gone. I'm never entirely sure what he sounds like because he's originally South African, but he's lived in America for ages, so I'll just do a weird South African accent. He's gone up to the world of finance and he's gone,

I'm the richest man in the world. And they've all gone, no, you're not. You only sell 16 cars a year and then he's gone no but imagine if i sold all the cars and everyone's gone oh my god he's right he's right if he sold all the cars oh my god and then it's the stock prices come bow up does that get counted in your wealth the value of the company or is it just the value of his tesla stocks and it's all of it it's all of it it's net worth it's everything right right right okay so basically whenever people start jerking off over tesla again he becomes the richest man on earth yes yeah yeah and because there is a stock

and it is traded there are dividends from the stock so as much as everyone's like oh none of his money exists and it's like yeah but his his shareholders paid him in cash a 20 billion dollar you know bonus or salary for doing well and tweeting a lot or whatever so he does have that many billions and then the rest are you know theoretical or in valuation but yeah he just seems to have convinced everyone that he's the equivalent of the Henry Ford company in 1901 or something. Yeah, right, right, right. Yeah, he's the first meme billionaire.

He's the first. Also, his understanding of internet culture is always a good... The most up-to-date is he's about two years behind, sometimes up to ten. Yeah. He's never more than a few minutes away from tweeting that something is epic bacon.

Yeah, he's like an embarrassing dad trying to be cool with the kids, but because he's got space rockets, people let it slide. I understand why people think he's cool, though, because he has tricked the world of finance in some way. And also, he just went on Joe Rogan and smoked a load of weed and then just went, Ha ha, Tesla stock should be worth 420. Ha ha ha.

And it worked. Is that when he had to step down as chairman? Chairman? Down from the board or something? I don't know. I think they... He keeps altering the stock price of his own company. He got investigated.

I think he only temporarily had to step down while he was investigated by the Financial Conduct Authority or whatever it's called in the States. And then they technically couldn't find anything wrong with it. And then he was like, ha-ha, suck my dick, 420, ha-ha, hashtag. And the stock just kept going up. He's the kind of guy where i imagine if i went to his mansion in the sort of um hallway of his mansion he's got like an enormous framed oil painting of like

spongebob square pants yeah nice nice nice and um and this is a good game what's nfts huh i and what does What does Elon Musk have in his house? Yeah. I reckon he has an NFT of two girls, one cup. Do you know about these NFTs? Yes, yeah. You can own a meme forever, in theory. Non-fungible tokens, making own pieces of the internet.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean's it's mad i yeah he's got yeah he's got an nft of two girls one cup that's perfect i reckon i reckon he's got a t-shirt where it's E-T, yeah? Yeah. And instead of raising his finger to be helpful, he's giving the finger. Nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the tip is still glowing. But I wonder if I'm gonna sell i'm gonna put on uh for auction the nft for all of my facebook posts while i was at university which were all just about me playing pool with my friend chris and who won pool that day and like whether anyone in college has a pret stick i can borrow how much do you think i can get for that i think that um as long as you just can capture some of elon musk's incredible charisma and ability to convince people you could get you know 10 billion pounds yeah but you've got to work on your ability to just say but imagine if it was the most valuable art in the world yeah i mean it's all made up did you see this um sorry to keep going on about nfts but this guy this like digital artist who's

just sold he just sold something for $63 million. Yeah, he was some sort of artist before. Yeah, he's an Instagram artist, and he just did a digital picture every day for five years or something, and he put them all together into a single collage. And Christie's, the auction house, put it up for auction,

their first ever purely digital sale and and there's this video of him watching watching the the auction at home with his family and they're just screaming because the price starts out like a hundred dollars and a couple hours later it's up at 30 million 40 million oh wait hang on though has he been paid the money because sometimes you see that on ebay people betting bidding like 10 million pounds on a toenail for a joke or whatever has he been given the money well i mean like it's a proper auction house i suppose i suppose so i i you know there's like you'll be nine million dollars of fees or whatever going to Christie's and then the rest I'm guessing goes to him

I mean in reality the same level of nonsense and fraud applies to the actual physical art world oh yeah I'm not I'm by no means saying this is particularly fraudulent but it's it but what's amazing about it is

that you're not getting anything physical all you can do is you can say that you have the the digital rights to a picture that anyone can screen grab well i guess there was a guy on the radio who had a the a kind of professor frink voice so i could tell he was a nerd yeah um and he was saying well you know you can buy a poster or you can take a photograph of the mon And he was saying, well, you know, you can buy a poster or you can take a photograph of the Mona Lisa. It doesn't change the fact that you own it. That's true, that's true. Which is like, it's true, but it's also the same as saying,

don't worry, this is as mentally ill as trying to buy the Mona Lisa. But there's a difference, obviously. There is a distinct physical difference between a poster and the actual painted Mona Lisa. Whereas there's no real physical difference between two digital pictures of the same thing.

I suppose so. I mean, it's probably just going to devolve into another way to launder money. Yeah, I mean, it's all Bitcoin technology, and Bitcoin is shady as shit, and also just so energy-intensive. Yeah, what is it?

It's so bad for the environment. Bitcoin now uses more energy than New Zealand. Yeah. I mean, evenacinda can catch up i mean full credit to the world of finance and the internet finding a way like as global warming gets worse and worse and things are actually just getting digital so we don't need to worry about mining gold and lithium and whatever as much and platinum is finding a way to still completely fuck everything up and still and and call it mining it's still that's that's how much man's gotta mine a man needs a mine do you think um the inventor of Bitcoin was looking out at an illegal gold mining field in Sierra Leone

and he saw the sort of devastation and people pouring boric acid into rivers and trees being burned and smoke and chemicals. And then he saw the UN come in and shut it down and he just shook his head and went, We can't lose this. This is who we are. This is the most beautiful thing, and I refuse to live in a world where somebody can't say, I'm sorry, the trees are dead because of mining. I will invent a mine in the sky sky mine

I will call it I'll keep the secrets to its invention in my mind mine everything's just a mine for him everything in terms of a mine I mean like I almost I thought like you, my viral Tom Hiddleston video. Yes.

I was like, I wonder, you know, I could put that up for auction. I wonder how much that would get. Do it, do it, do it, do it. £20. £20. But, like, then I'm contributing to this terrible environmental disaster. I suppose. But, you know, we also have iPhones.

Yeah, but that just comes at a human cost. And humans are endlessly replaceable, whereas we only have one planet. There's an environmental cost. Sorry? There's an environmental cost to iPhones, or the

cobalt. Um, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I think it's more proportionate than selling something imaginary online. At least I have a physical phone that helps me do things every day. Yeah, I suppose, yeah. Something imaginary that, if if it does exist it only

exists in terms of loads and loads of carbon in the atmosphere yeah exactly i wonder i wonder like i mean i remember particularly um you know switched on friend of mine telling me about bitcoin when i was in like high school really yeah i like really early on like late noughties mid mid noughties uh oh nine yeah okay yeah yeah it would have been oh nine and i remember think i remember god imagine if i just bought like 10 for like 50p or whatever yeah i mean i i know someone they were just texting me the other day who's they're talking to me about nfts and and she she bought 10 bitcoin in 2010 or 2014 even 2014 she bought 10 bitcoin um and she lost the code she lost the password no i was just gonna say she one of these people that like is lost the password no I was just gonna say she's one of these people that like

lost the thing no Phil it's amazing like I think it's like a fifth I think a fifth of all bitcoin are lost a fifth of all bitcoin are inaccessible it's some kind of fucking ridiculous pirate treasure economy

yeah and they've just gone forever now and there's only a finite number of bitcoin and ridiculous pirate treasury economy. Yeah, and they've just gone forever now. And there's only a finite number of Bitcoins, so those are just gone forever. They're completely wasted. It's a stupid idea. It's a stupid idea. People must just stop it.

Stop it! Did you see that story? I'm doing the Leave Britney video alone, but about central centralized banks. Leave centralized financial authorities alone! Leave the Fed alone! I just...

Do you see that story of the Welsh guy who had like 150 bitcoin on a memory stick and he's lost it in a landfill just photos of him in a tip in Wales just stood on a mountain of rubbish just his head in his hands I cannot imagine

ugh every day he wakes up to that every day every day he wakes up to that every day every day he wakes up and thinks to himself he could check the stock market and go that's another 1.5 million pounds overnight I have made

he's like a character from a fable yeah he's like something from a Greek tragedy or an episode of the Twilight Zone it's like saying to someone the money's going to keep growing in a bank account and you can check your balance, but you can never withdraw anything. It's like something out of Black Mirror, Pierre. I know no one's said this for a while, but I'm bringing it back.

It's like something out of Black Mirror. This COVID thing is like something out of Black Mirror. Yeah, I think I tweeted once, that's my favourite thing to do whilst watching Black Mirror, is say out loud, this is like something out of Black Mirror. I wonder if Black Mirror is going to have to fucking up its game after the year we've had. Yeah.

Yeah, but I mean, it wasn't, last year's horror wasn't technologically well I guess they'll have to up their game in that technology was our saviour and our our captor was good old fashioned nature in the form of

little wriggly caroni well that's it it was it was the old caroni and also like there's the now they did something like imagine an entirely digital auction for something that doesn't even exist. It's like, no, we did that. We did that. Yeah. We did that. We live in a dystopia. You're going to have to try harder to live in a dystopia in fiction because we've already done everything that makes something a fucked up dystopia. We've done it now. We've already done everything that makes something a fucked up dystopia.

We've done it now. Yeah, I guess that's kind of why Black Mirror sort of lost its way a little. When one was just like, imagine if fucking Miley Cyrus was sad. That was one episode. Imagine if Miley Cyrus was sad. I did see some amazing tweet from an american saying that like every episode of black mirror is just like a stoned british guy breathing out a you know a load of weed and going imagine if your mom was batteries but i mean that's um Charlie Brooker is an inspiring figure for that reason because he used to just smoke weed

and live on his friend's couch and make fun of TV shows and now yeah he's the world's most powerful he's the world's richest man um I read after Elon Musk yes yes if he was only better at

memes he would be up there yeah I mean like he If he was only better at memes, he would be up there. Yeah, I mean, Charlie Brook lived the stoner dream. He watched TV, he reviewed video games for a magazine, and he was mean enough about TV shows that they all went, fine, you write one. And he did and everyone loved it. And then he's married and had kids with a hot lady from TV shows

that he used to watch. Yeah, man. I think we're all going to wake up one day and realize we were all in Charlie Brooker's wet dream. We all got matrixed into his dream. That's right. And Charlie Brooker himself is like

something out of Black Mirror. That's how he could write such a good mindfuck show. His whole life is a mindfuck. Of course, of course. I've been enjoying our Twitter straw poll of favourite Bud Pod moments.

Yes, yeah, well, so I had an ulterior motive in asking, because I'm tempted to bother to fill in all the forms and do all the editing to send us in for the British Podcast Awards, Phil. Oh, wow! Really? But they don't half want a lot of

clips and filling in forms. Good Lord. Forms, even podcasting. Which was supposed to democratise the world of audio. It's full of bureaucracy. Yes, when will

pod exit, padexit happen? Cut all this red tape. Well, that's exciting. From my cursory glance of the replies,

unsurprisingly, Raw Chicken Fight Club seems to be the fan favorite the the people's hero raw raw chicken fight club is going to be something that like i think it's going to be the the last thing i say on my deathbed it's going to be like rosebud i'm going to drop an mp3 player from my hand in slow motion i'm gonna go say raw chicken fight club and my family are gonna be like what the fuck did he say raw chicken fight club yeah because we got sent that by someone Who's a friend of the teacher who did the discovery

And if I ever meet the teacher It's going to be like When you read about Someone in like The war who finally meets the person who wrote them All those letters you know Yeah it's like when they finally find Private Ryan And they're like it's you

And they're all confused What do you mean it's like you've done find Private Ryan and they're like it's you and they're all confused what do you mean it's like you've done more than you could ever know sir come with us so watching a fire club is definitely how many bits do we need to submit between one and five

some people just said their favourite bits it has to be from the last year or so but some people just said their favourite bits it has to be from the last year or so but some people just said their favourite bits anyway which is still a lot of fun, I still really enjoyed reading them so much stuff that I'd forgotten about we're good at podcasting Phil, we're good at this yeah, yeah, mechateen

mechateen mechateen yeah, just yelling by the power of a thousand wanks over and over again batman smelling of cum i do always laugh at that i don't maybe because i value batman too much i think it's disrespectful but i laugh at your impression of commissioner Gordon saying he smells of zinc. Oh, he smells of zinc. Not to turn this into a clip show, listeners, but thanks for sending that in.

It was a straw poll on Twitter. If you haven't seen it, then do reply to it with you. Basically, the question was anything that you would deliberately go back and listen to again or made you cry laughing. And so it's very interesting as well to see how many answers are the same. So Raw Chicken Fight Club and how many are just very specific to individuals. It's always interesting. Yeah. Some people just like a single turn of phrase for one second, one episode at some point.

Yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. One guy's favourite was Dawn of Agriculture Rodney Dangerfield. Gosh, I forgot about that. Yeah. You won't see that on the BBC. You won't. You won't.

And it's a disgrace. It's disgusting. As someone in the Question Time audience might say. Frankly, it's disgusting. It's disgusting. Actually, to be fair, the little kid whispering disgusting, that's high up there.

Oh, of course. Disgusting. Disgusting. Would you ever go on Question Time, Pierre? Here's the only reason to go on. If you went on and caused a big old ruckus, it would immediately compel one other show to have you on for some reason. Yeah. So maybe that would start some kind of snowball effect TV career

but there are so many downsides and it's such an awful show that I don't know if it's worth the risk of accidentally pooping your pants I don't want to contribute to a culture that says that people's

thoughts and opinions matter I don't want to contribute to that culture. It's toxic. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Your opinion doesn't matter. And I don't want to go on a TV show that says otherwise. Yes, I

want to go on a TV show called No Comment. That's funny. Just someone asking you questions for an hour and you just say no comment everyone or just a yeah just a tv show called no time for questions and it's everyone just gets to say what they came there to say and the audience sit there with their hands in the air and at the end david dimble but he says oh sorry we don't have any time for questions. And it ends. That's the dream. Don't you think it's funny that Fiona Bruce presents Question Time and Antiques Roadshow?

I guess actually a lot of Question Time audiences are indistinguishable from Antiques. Yes, and some of the views of the guests on Question Time are sort of niche, strange things from the past that are worth examining. Yeah, it's like something a shotgun from the 18th century might think. Also, she's used to just telling really hopeful people, like, I'm terribly sorry, but what you've brought me today is a piece of shit. It's a useless plastic bowl.

But in this case, the useless plastic bowl is your thoughts. Your opinion on global trade is like a cheap ceramic imitation of a Chinese vase. I remember so vividly, I think it was in the run up to Brexit it was the first time I thought

maybe this vote actually won't go the way I wanted to or the way I expected to I guess it wasn't question time, well maybe it was question time special which was a debate between David Cameron who was on the side of Remain and who was on the other side? It wasn't Boris was it? It could haveain and... God, who was on the other side? It wasn't Boris, was it?

It could have been Gove. Yeah, maybe it was. And I just remember there was a Brexiteer in the audience who said to David Cameron, our share of world trade used to be like 20%. Now it's 18%. And David Cameron was like, well, yeah oh yeah well that's because the economies of China and India have grown a lot since then and so they've taken up they've taken up a large proportion

of the world of world trade our we haven't lost trade it's just other people have got more and this guy just went but we used to be at 20 now we're at 18 and david cameron's like right yeah no it's not we haven't we're not trading less it's just that other people are trading it's just how proportion is he just wanted to say this is how percentages work and the guy just kept going we used to be at 20 now we're 18 and at that point i was like oh shit maybe this won't work because people don't understand fractions. People don't understand fractions or numbers. And also the guy who's saying that, who's really into the fact that it used to be 20 and now it's 18, he just runs a shop. Right.

He's not a global tin exporter. Yeah, the amount of toothbrushes he can sell is not going to change it's it's literally it's not like and we'd like to thank the um international ceo and founder of mask shipping for that question that's that's why it was always a mistake because it was getting really complicated boring stuff and saying yeah but what does Dave reckon? What does that guy we know reckon? Let's just let him take over

the plane for a bit and just jiggle the handle. See what he reckons about the way things are flying I guess that's fundamentally flawed with a a fucking um how have I forgotten the word for a big vote? Referendum.

Oh, Jesus Christ. I need to go on a run or something. That's the problem with the referendum, is that it's just a big vote on what you reckon. Yeah. Go on everyone. We'll change everything depending on what you reckon. Yeah. Let's just have a wild emotions-based stab in the dark. go on everyone, we'll change everything depending on what you reckon yeah

let's just have a wild emotions based stab in the dark but once more you know the EU have really let us down here because, I mean it still it still is the case I've always had to say this to myself, no matter how

well, even if Brexit is the best thing in the world ever, it was still a mistake because you have this principle of you had no right to expect this outcome. Yes. Yeah, you don't... The ends don't

justify the means if the means were insane and risked everything disproportionately. Yeah, if you put all your money on a bet that you would 99% lose, even if you win and become a billionaire, it was still a stupid

bet. Yeah, you don't get to claim that you planned to buy a winning lottery ticket. You don't get to claim that. This is some top-draw remoning we're doing now. It is, and the real casualty of the EU's vaccine fuck-ups is

the easy analogies. We've really lost those now. It really is, because the world will not stop adding complexity to situations. I'm so sick of ambiguity, Phil. It's really terrible. Nothing more disgusting

than ambiguity. But it's also like, as you say, that's the annoying thing about coronavirus as well, is that it's going to be used to disguise the already tremendous hit to the economy. Mm-hmm. And the vaccine EU fuck-, couldn't have happened.

It's almost like it was timed to happen like the week after Brexit happened. Yeah, it's literally the second everyone was going, wait, did we, wait, a tariff is money that costs us money? And the second people were getting their heads around that, everyone just went, it just went, vaccine, fuck up. The irony, the irony being that the kind of, the kind of like most pro-Brexit nutters online tend to be kind of anti-vax, we hate red tape, never forced me to do anything libertarians. Yeah, so now they've got a real difficult choice

to make, haven't they? Yeah, they're essentially going, ha ha, the EU isn't as good at the secret Illuminati vaccine as we are, which is bad. Our centralised state's Stalinist efficiency is way better and bad than the EU's bad one, which is bad and bad. Do you know that if we had still been in the EU, we would have had to join in on their procurement plan?

Would that have been compulsory? I don't think it was, was it? I don't know. I think there was an element of it that was compulsory because I know that some German states tried to do it on their own and then Angela Merkel sent an apology to the Commissioner saying, sorry, sorry, no, don't worry, we're not going to do anything on our own. We'll just sit still.

Spangler Merbles? Oh yeah, yeah, Spangler Merbles said sorry. I don't know who you're talking about for a second there. Sorry, yeah, Spangler Merbles said sorry for trying to do it on our own. I don't know who you're talking about for a second there sorry yeah Spangler Merbils said sorry for trying to do it on our own

I don't know because like with so many EU rules they are what you make them and part of the problem that Germany and France and all these other countries have had is that culturally they've decided to treat them as incredibly serious but I think we kind of would have been screwed. Yeah, definitely.

It wouldn't have been as good as it is now. There's no way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We've gone from the sick man of Europe to the pricked man of Europe. Ooh, very good. Thank you.

Whatever the hell I got News For You theme is. Ha ha ha! Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da I think that's true, yeah. The vacuum thing wouldn't be going as well as it is now. And as we said in another episode, if the price of that is making a multimillionaire out of Matt Hancock's only friend, well, then that's the price. Number 10 has a new briefing room now. That's how regularly the Prime Minister has to address a calamity

and disaster is that the number 10 have had to build a special room for it they were in the old room and they're like we've really briefed this thing out this thing has been briefed to the gills we need a fresh room for this yeah

well if you so we need a fresh room for this yeah well if you if listeners if you want to take part in the bud pod attempt to win a not a pointless award but it's all awards to an extent are just made up but we'll give it a go

then do reply to the tweet and I'll see if I can slowly be bothered to fill in a series of forms saying genre, poop number of downloads poop, poop, poop, poop, poop I hope you're entering us

into the best scripted podcast category best scripted drama, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah oh absolutely well is this the Sony one this

award that's just the British Podcast Awards British Podcast Awards okay they sound official because they clearly were the first ones

to nab that domain are we going to lose our cult status, though? You know, maybe, but hopefully we'll go from cult status to Elon Musk level. There'll be none of that boring in-between stuff.

Yes, let's get Budpod overvalued. Let's float Budpod. Is that what floating means? Float on the stock market, yeah. It means overvalue something. No, no, no.

It just means to put it on the stock market to be traded. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. But yeah, we'll see. We'll see. We'll see. And yeah, just send those in to us. And other than that, I guess enjoy the new briefing room, listeners, for the next week.

Yeah, enjoy that briefing room you earned that we all did you earned that with your hunger for briefings yeah yeah yeah but yes other than that hope you get the vaccine guys and stay safe bye bye bye everyone have a good week I love you all