BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 122 - Noo Yawk

Episode Date: July 7, 2021

A croaky sexy morning Phil Wang chats to a rained-on Pierre Novellie about NYC, items of clothing you'd least like to wear, being a background character, drinks reps, being mayor of noodle town, PT sessions and mild bullying Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Bud-Bud-One-One-Two-Two. One-Two-Two. The old Desmond. It's Desmond's Mexican nephew. Juan-Two-Two. Juan-Two-Two. Oh boy. I've just woken up here in New York City because I miscalculated the time I needed to wake up to synchronize with Pierre.

So I'm literally next to the bed and I've jumped out and I've got that croaky, just woken up voice. Yeah. Sexy. It's kind of sexy sexy and i can go lower than i normally can in the rest of my day like when i was into singing i was like i'm a tenor but in the morning for like an hour i could i could go i could be a bass it's what makes you think, maybe I should smoke cigars. Yeah. Or just be completely having just awoken. Or just be permanently just awake.

I don't know how you would... Yeah. I don't know how you'd do that. Or just ill. Just a constant low-level cold. That's right. I mean, that's literally a storyline on Friends Is it?

Yeah, Phoebe gets sick and she likes to sing in voice and so she tries to stay sick forever Friends did it Yeah, what is Once again, Budpod tries to do a storyline that Friends did

We're the family guy to their simpsons and we know this this this criticism has been leveled as before and you know why it's true yeah yeah i mean look it's difficult given that this is written every there's i'm sure there's some enormous physics equation to be done about the statistical certainty of how eventually everything reaches a friend's plot. Right, so a million monkeys and a million

typewriters kind of situation. Yeah, but the probability approaches one, that you're about to do something that was on friends, the longer you do something in any field of endeavor, including, you. Including space travel. Right. Or quantum physics.

Eventually you'll discover. A subatomic particle. That was on Friends. Yes exactly. Eventually. Eventually you'll realize. That subatomic particles. Aren aren't as progressive as they seemed in the 90s. Yeah. God, the clothes are ugly then, man.

Yeah. The clothes were real ugly. And for some reason, no one said to Jennifer Aniston, We can see your nipples. Well, apparently it's a big controversy. I read some article about how that was sort of deliberate. Oh, right. I thought it was just like, we're the 90s.

We're just less attentive in general. And we've literally not noticed that you can see Jennifer Aniston's nipples the whole way through every episode. That's right. And then now the Friends is now caught in the free the nipple, don't free the nipple. Oh, I see. So was there controversy then about Jennifer Aniston's nipples? Maybe people's TVs weren't high resolution enough to show them.

This is what I'm thinking, yeah. Let's see. But it must have been distracting for the other actors. Even if the people at home didn't see them. So Jennifer Aniston was asked by Vogue, and she was like, yeah, I don't know. Well, she just tried to play it off like she didn't even realize. She was just like, yeah, I was wearing a bra and stuff, and I don't know well she just tried to play it off like like she didn't even realize she was just like yeah i was wearing a bra and stuff and i don't know that's just what happened

um annoyingly all these articles under the headline this is the real reason why you could see her nips and all the explanations are she has nipples and you could see them yeah she has nipples and sometimes under cloth you can see shapes come through. Yeah. That's the reason. And there's all these people on Twitter saying, the producers made them cut holes in their bras. Which is insane.

That cut, I mean... Come on. Come on. Even for the 90s, that's too crazy. Even for the 90s, that's too crazy even for the 90s that's too crazy but like i know obviously obviously everyone says like oh the the clothes from the era directly before when i'm alive are bad but i mean i think particularly the late 90s early noughties thing with like men's suits being as baggy and gray as possible and shiny yeah the shine baggy gray Baggy, gray, shiny, and then you think, well, at least you're going to offset it

with a nice contrasting shirt and tie combo. And they go, no, no. Light, shiny, gray shirt. Shiny, darker gray suit. Big, gray, brown tie. They look like they're all trying to hide in some kind of urban jungle, Philip. Ah it's all concrete colors and like car keys and stuff it's really well they they live in new york city concrete jungle which dreams are made of

so they maybe they are trying to hide phil in your time in new york which is of course where the friends live um yes have you found yourself becoming gradually grayer uh no no i found it actually quite a colorful experience uh yeah people are it's new york is kind of like a lawless London. That's a very funny description of it. Yeah, it's... It's like Mufti Day. Every day. It's just kind of nuts. I mean, people, yeah.

It's World Book Day every day in new york especially on the subway the subway is just nuts is it full of nuts like proper like yeah oh yeah proper no proper mentally ill people because there's no health care system to look after them so they just go into the subway isn't it amazing yeah that america is a place where if you go, you could just be like a guy who lives in a flat with a job and when you lose your fucking mind you just are left to walk around and retreat to the below the earth.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's... I mean, I guess it's like cheap shelter, you know? You pay a couple of dollars and you can just... Ride around. Yeah, ride around, take a seat. You don't get checked again on the way out.

You pay on the way in and then the New York subway system goes, Okay, we never met, all right? Thanks for the $2.75. I never saw you. We never met. Because when you get out, you just go through turnstiles. I never saw you. We never met. Because when you get out, you just go through turnstiles. You don't have to bloop again. So once you've paid the first time, the New York subway system is done with you.

It's like, okay, you go your way, I go mine. That's my impression of the New York, of the subway. It's good. I like it. Thank you. What would the equivalent be in the uk like if there was a tax collector but if he couldn't find you you just didn't have to pay that year there's just people hide and seek hide and seek mhrc yeah like a guy dressed as the fucking sheriff

of nottingham with a big bell and if he gets gets you, you have to pay. But if you can avoid him for a year, then fair dues, they say. So weird. Have there been any people dressed in a kind of crazy way that's fun? Or has it all been sinister and alarming? There... It's not sinister.

People... Hmm. There have been a couple of people who have dressed quite exuberantly. With little, uh... Like, I've walked past a couple of gay guys who have dressed um like a homophobic drawing of a gay guy if you know i mean like a crop top yeah sleeveless and not not like in the gay district where not part of some event just walking around the middle of the city just and it's like it's like i almost went like

hey that's that's not cool that's homophobic i'm you know these tiny shorts and were they like um like white denim booty shorts that that kind of energy definitely yeah okay that's impressive yeah uh but but on the whole people are not dressed i mean because it's not the 90s anymore people aren't dressed crazily yeah yeah i mean you know what maybe like maybe that's the sign of a non-conformist society you can dress how you feel and if you feel crop top energy. I think a crop top is close to number one on list of things I would never want to wear in public.

It's hilarious to even imagine you in a crop top. You look like a Winnie the Pooh, I think, if you wore a crop top. Yeah, but the difference between me and Winnie is that Winnie the Pooh, although he is notionally a bear and therefore has hair, right? Because he's a cartoon. It's all kind of smoothed out. They don't draw it in. Yeah, he's a stuffed animal.

He's got stuffed animal hair. Yeah, sort of a velour fuzz effect that you sort of imagine. Whereas I have actual human hairs, and that, I think, is more upsetting under a crop top. Yeah, you're like, you know what? Sometimes people post those really upsetting drawings of Homer Simpson if he was a human. You'd be, if Winnie the Pooh was a human,

and they draw the detailed hairs on your belly yeah and you go oh and like honey stained teeth just ass and dick out walking around red t-shirt the main thing with clothes here is just like

I'm just wearing like Shorts and a t-shirt everyday Just because it's so hot What's the temperature? I mean it's It's been coolish the last couple of days So late 20s but I think it's back up to 30s Today and tomorrow

Dude even the high 20s is insufferable I mean London now is pouring rain And still 19 degrees So it's just armpits, just grey armpits weather. Nana's armpits. Every day. Yeah, I heard it's been rainy. I kind of wish I was. I do love a bit of rain.

Yeah, but it's bad rain. It's like tropical rain in little bursts. Oh, okay. It's not like cold rain. It's kind of, hey, you want to be moist it's like that what's what would your like an article of clothing you would be the least happy to wear when i just in public or whatever i think mine is cropped up i'm trying i'm trying to i'm trying to think of something i'd hate to wear more than that and I can't really imagine

I mean I would be embarrassed to wear a mankini I guess that's a bit obvious mankini is the top it's like desert island discs, mankini is the bible you can always have one

yeah um i like in like light blue jeans yeah light blue jeans i'd be embarrassed to wear i don't know i haven't worn blue jeans for a long time like powder blue you mean even like at this point like even like like dark blue jeremy clarkson style jeans i just i don't know i guess i i'm trying to think like i hadn't thought about it but you haven't worn jeans for for ages have you i don't remember the last time i saw you wear jeans no you haven't thought about it, but you haven't worn jeans for ages, have you? I don't remember the last time I saw you wear jeans. No, you haven't thought about it. You haven't mentioned it once. And I've been wondering every day. I wonder if Pierre's going to notice. I haven't worn jeans for a while.

But no, because you're all tied up in your little world. Me and my crop tops. I'm missing out on Johnny Corduroy over here. You're just thinking about crop tops all day long. I haven't even noticed. I haven't worn denim for eight years. I fucking believe it. You're like a guy from...

An uptight guy from the 50s. Yeah. You're like, well, in my view, denim is for cowboys. Yeah, I mean, there's a period where I was wearing like jeans that was slung under my belly and a t-shirt and then like a cardigan I was really into cardigans I remember during those years I guess where we're all sort of into cartoons it's like cardigans and yeah I think I'm being I think I'd be embarrassed to wear a cardigan More embarrassed than a crop top Well I can't just take your answer But maybe also yes

But what about like I think I would rather wear A lovely lady's Big swooshy sundress than a crop top Yeah Right At least I could be like well this is a a single piece of clothing as opposed to some kind of weird like i think a crop top you're trying to you're trying to tell people

something about yourself aren't you with a it's a statement piece of clothing i think of wearing a big lady sundress is also a statement isn't it it? Yeah, but I think the crop top is like you're trying to show off your belly. I think a man with a crop top on is saying, look at this. I think he's saying, feast your eyes. Yeah. Whereas I think a man in a swirling sundress could be saying many things, but feast your eyes. It's not an aggressive piece of clothing,

a nice sundress. People say, oh, that's nice. Or, you know, he's going for a picnic, you know. Fair point. Yeah. Yeah. Thong? Would you ever wear a thong, Phil? Above your blue jeans?

Yeah, well Similar category to the mankini Obviously, I'd be embarrassing Wearing it over my jeans No, no, it's like poking out a boat You've got a whale tail I've got a whale tail, that would be bad I'd be embarrassed about that, yeah.

It just wouldn't fit my personality. Yeah. People would just go... Yeah. People would go, oh, he's... He doesn't know who he is and he's trying a few things out. This isn't it. I'd be more worried about, like... If you're a guy and you walk around with a thong all day

What happens to the old bollies? Yeah, I wouldn't I don't know if there are specific male thongs Maybe you need a man one With a bolly area Yeah, a little bolly patch On the front bit For unexpected items in the bolly area yeah a little bolly patch yeah on the front bit for unexpected items in the bolly area

a little parachute yeah um but on the whole people are dressed quite normally actually yeah no no nazis on the tube over there yet no nazis on the tube yet okay no subway nazis i think this i think the nazis probably went down to the New York subway and went, these people are too crazy, and went back up. Yes, perhaps you're right. I don't feel safe down here. That's what the Nazis thought when they went into the New York subway. Yeah, they were upset at how badly maintained it all was.

It's better this time around. They have a new system. They've got, basically, they've got contact lists now. Oh. On the New York subway, which is very convenient. And

most, if not all, the cars I've been in have been air-conditioned, which is more than I can say for the last time this year. Yeah, and more than you can say for London, to be fair. Yeah, but the stations themselves, like, if it's hot, it's hot. And it's like they haven't been updated since 1923, you know. Yeah, if you don't have a car, then fuck you. You feel like you're in a at a factory

when you go into it's just like you feel like you've walked into uh a part a place that you're not supposed to be you're like was there a do not enter sign and i missed it well is this place for engineers and employees only because you just go and he's like It's all just like raw metal and fixtures. Yeah, it's like in Chernobyl when they send the guys in to find where the water leak is. It's like I feel like I shouldn't be in here.

It's just like girders and yeah. You think that a guy in a hard hat's gonna go Hey buddy! And like jab his that a guy in a hard hat's gonna go hey buddy and like jab his finger at you in a panic get out what are you doing in here have you managed to do any of the obvious tourist stuff that you wanted to do since we last no i've been meaning to i kind of i kind of want to do the obvious i want to go to old lady liberty ellis island um what i do want to do is i want to try my chess metal out with one of the chess hustlers in i think it's washington square park

i think it'll be fun are they like old guys with long beards playing chess yeah they're just old dudes who just sit there all day playing chess i always wonder like they hustle money out of you i don't know how much it costs how do you get like i always wonder like how do you get into that like uh yeah because you know how those guys are in like tv and movies all the time yeah at what at some point do those guys have a kind of slightly dissociative experience and go oh I'm one of the park chess guys now yeah it creeps up on you yeah do they just think well

yeah sure I play chess in the park every now and then but I'm not one of the park chess guys I'm not the park chess guy I'm one of those weirdos yeah is it like becoming a regular at a pub you don't even realise you're doing it and then they see themselves in some interstitial weirdos yeah is it like becoming a a regular at a pub you don't even realize you're doing it and then they see themselves in some interstitial into in some interstitial

like location footage of a show in new york just one of those shots to be like this is new york new york life and it's a flash of them playing chess in the park and they go oh no i'm one of the new york park chess guys. As they're playing through a series of famous chess moves on their own, the main character in something that's being filmed sprints past, being chased by cops and makes a winning move. And they think, oh, no. I'm background color.

Imagine becoming background color without even knowing. Yeah yeah you become one of the buildings it's it's like suddenly realizing that you are like a a removals man but all you ever seem to do is you and your mate carry enormous panes of glass across streets yeah yeah all your your um you're painting something high up on a ladder and it's you're always one police chase from it being knocked over yes exactly yeah yeah or you got a big wooded wheelbarrow full of watermelons or you're a lady who's just perpetually carting her baby across a busy road. I wonder, you're carting your baby and you stop and you think, wait a minute, I'm a make-polices-chase-more-difficult person.

You stop and go, oh, how did it come to this? Like, yeah, I always wonder if people who are really close to a stereotype have self awareness like if suddenly someone goes wait a minute I'm drinking in the shadowiest corner of this pub with a downturned flat cap I'm the mysterious corner man

I think yeah I think you set out to be some stereotypes. Yeah. Like, if it's a cool one, you're probably like, yeah, I want to be the mystery corner pub guy. Yeah, yeah. Table in the corner, please.

But it just doesn't carry, it just doesn't work. So you're just, in reality, end up the creepy corner pub guy. It doesn't, you know what? It doesn't work if, if you're going to be the, if you're going to up the creepy corner pub guy it does you know what it doesn't work if if you're going to be the if you're going to be the mysterious corner pub guy you've got to be very handsome or very like um sopranos character actor craggled face there should be a story behind you yeah Yeah. You should either look like Aragorn, or you should look like your name is Big Tony, and there's a crag on your wrinkled face for every job you ever did for the mob.

Yeah. Or you look like you were a fucking submarine captain or something. You've got to look like one of those two yeah yeah yeah yeah but yeah also you've got a life they're trying to hide from with the aragon or an old submarine captain yes yes yes yes which what what sort of background movie character do you think you suit i i had a quick think and i if i'm being honest i'm just one of the people who pulls a phone out to film something that's happening like yeah like when like when spider-man saves someone in one of the recent spider-mans i'm just one of like the oh just filming on their phones i'm one of those people yeah probably well i we've well we discussed this

before um and it was i think maybe that was movie deaths okay oh yeah because i died in the movie i was the remember i was the sailor as like the kraken rises up yeah that was good yeah you have the brief close-up or something yeah i think yeah i guess what kind of background character if it has to be one that's like a really stereotypical um i could i could be like a uh one one of three other guys around a small table in a bar who gets uh who is initially aggressive towards the hero but is frightened off oh yeah hey buddy whoa take it easy man you're the you're the last guy after aquaman beats up the other two guys and you're the one guy standing there and you drop your iron bar and you just run off yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly after we started a fight with aquaman by saying we don't drink water in this bar after yeah after you fight start a fight with the most obviously

the most obviously ripped man in the bar it's like obviously stronger than everyone it's like when you play the witcher yeah and in the witcher he's just like a seven foot tall schwarzenegger shaped half demon magic sword guy he's got two swords on his back he's got two swords one of which is covered in glowing runes and he can like make candles go on and off with his fingers magically because he has magic powers and yeah exactly some guy called like yeah some guy whose nickname is like belly dave because he has magic powers. And yeah, exactly. Some guy called like... Yeah, some guy whose nickname is like Belly Dave. Just like Fat Darren.

It's just there. Oi, you fucking... It's just like they shove his chest. It's got to be booze. The only way I would accept any of those incidents is that those guys are just like absolutely battered. Then it makes sense. But the rest of it is ridiculous.

Yeah. Like in Terminator when Schwarzenegger is like shredded and nude and just walks into that biker bar and they're all just amused. You would not be amused. You would fucking shit yourself. He's walking in. Bearing in mind the biker bar is like miles from anywhere and he's nude and he's completely confident and he has a blank face

and he's shredded you would immediately go oh no something incredibly bad has either just happened outside or is about to happen to all of us oh no oh no oh no

who's this weirdo let's take his well we can't take anything yes let's hassle this man in seems physically in distress but not visibly visibly he seems more confident

than any man I've ever seen. Can you think of a scenario where Schwarzenegger would have walked in looking like that and it wouldn't have been intimidating? I guess a sauna? Yeah, a sauna or um i like now i guess if you did it now he's at that age where like guys just go around with their dicks popping out in in gym changing rooms yeah and you go okay that's just their age they do that for some reason that age if the terminator came in and started really, like,

opulently hair-drying his balls. I saw an old dude the other day just pointing the hair dryer down his pants, just like... Yeah, old guys hate moist pubes, it turns out. There's nothing they hate more than having even a hint of moisture on their pubes. No, they want it to be Arizona desert down there. Just dry as a bone. That's the most important thing in their lives, yeah.

Maybe they fear some kind of... Maybe when you get old, if you leave any moisture down there, you just immediately... I don't know. Mold appears. You're that old. You're just terrified of Bolly Mold. Bolly Mold. That's the way they make all the Indian movies, right?

Bolly Mold? Yeah. Bolly Mold is the same as Madame Tussauds and stuff, but they're making it all in India. Ah, it's the Indian Madame Tussauds, Bolly Mould is the same as Madame Tussauds and stuff but they're making it all in India Ah it's the Indian Madame Tussauds, Bolly Mould Yeah, Bolly Mould I've started I got some sessions

in an effort to fight Phil, to fight, Phil, to fight the lockdown gloopiness. I've got some sessions with a PT guy I've been doing. Oh, yeah, I've been seeing a PT recently. I love it. Yeah. It's everything I've ever wanted, someone else to bully me.

What's your pt like he's a very nice uh romanian guy who's like uh i think he must be at like two or three years younger than me and he's very sort of upbeat but he's like just sarcastic enough that you go ah good you're not like just trying to be nice to me you're like hey come on man right yeah yeah yeah he's well that's he's got that sort of eastern european kind of like um politeness isn't part of our culture kind of thing it's just like we we we're not actively unpleasant but we place no value on politeness for its own sake yeah like i'm i'm polite but i'm not gonna lie to you. Yeah. Why would I lie to you? That would be rude. Yeah, exactly.

What about your one? My one, he's, I think, French-Algerian or something. Oh. He. I don't even know what to expect from that. He's got a lovely body. Sure. He manages a cabaret bar on the weekends.

This is some of the Frenchest stuff I've ever heard. He wears a sports beret. A lycra sports beret, yeah, yeah. And he does all his stretches with a long baguette but he's sort of like he's quite a cat he's like got a cabaret background so he used to do he used to do like fire twirling and stuff like that and he's like circus fit he's circus fit um and he got me to do like this um an exercise once like a quick twitch leg exercise you know when you when the football match is about to start and they pan across the players warming up they're doing this little like running on the spot thing where they put one foot

in front of the other like yeah and it looks weird and and i was like and he's showing me the steps real slow motion so that i could just see what the coordination of the feet was like. And then I was like, oh, so it's kind of like the salsa. And his eyes lit up and he went, oh, you salsa? And he just did a little salsa on the spot. So that's it. That's my guy. You've picked the guy who would be your personal trainer in a kind of heartwarming

outsider comedy. Yeah. Where it's like this ragtag band of misfits that you're going to go do like an Iron Man and then at some point the salsa moves save you

from a quicksand or whatever yeah nice well that's good man i also as part of he's he's in a lot of these in very good shape and like he'll he'll demonstrate the new exercise to me and it looks very easy and i'm like i can do that and i go and I try and do one and I just fall on the ground. Well, my guy was, yeah, I had to do a weigh-in as part of it. And Phil, I had a number in my head for how fat I had become. And it was a pessimistic number. And in hindsight, it was a very optimistic number wow how bad how bad is it pretty bad man the number came up on the scales i thought it was my height

yeah that was my height of millimeters i'm so i'm so heavy i just didn't i didn't think i was that heavy because i don't look like um exactly you're like when i've seen you i've not gone like whoa I'm so heavy. I just didn't think I was that heavy because I don't look like... Exactly. When I've seen you, I've not gone like, whoa, pear's filled out. I've not really noticed so much of a difference. I think a lot of it's internal. It's like that kind of sinister around your organs fat maybe, like hidden...

Oh, visceral fat. Yeah, I think it might be that because as you say, I didn't look that different. And I've been this heavy before in my life. I mean, your spleen has been looking fat, if I can say that. It's coming out between the ribs. Like a big pocket, yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah, I've got a lot of work to do.

So hopefully I'll be able to do that with the help of some... With the help of the most productive form of bullying. Yeah, controlled bullying. Personally sanctioned bullying. Yeah, bullying is like radiation. Ah, yes. In controlled doses. It can cure, well, it can treat cancer, yeah.

Yeah, overall it's bad but if there is a certain circumstances where if you very carefully you know i think uh i think that's what i mean like you know it's the real analogy yeah the real the real it's not bullying i mean it's it's it's mostly encouragement but with the tin you've got to have a little... There's a little Tabasco sauce dash of shame. A little spicy shame. Yeah, it's just having someone that you could let down. Just having someone... Yes!

To witness you. Yeah. Just someone to witness you. Yes, exactly. Someone who their entire job is to be like, come on, man. Yeah. Someone who feels no obligation to be like, hey, you know, some people weigh that much and they live fine lives.

Although I find that my personal trainer my like i i don't know how much i expect maybe he doesn't expect that very much of me because he'll be like if you want to do it harder you can do it this way and then i'll do it that way and be like wow you really went for it like i'm constantly impressing him but maybe that's because because i pay a premium. He's like, I better be nice to this guy. You pay the wow tax. Yeah. I got the mollycoddle special.

If you don't pay that, when you do it the harder way, the guy just goes, uh-huh. And what? Am I supposed to be impressed yeah he folds his arms and goes oh he's like a cruel prison warden we got a live one We got a live one. Starts tapping his foot and threatening you. Yeah. I mean, to be fair, some people would play more for that version.

I could probably do with a PT right now. I drank a whole lot of booze last night. Booze. What flavor booze we want? Started off with a little cocktail in the cocktail bar. and it's america so it's free pour it is free pour although they seem they're quite they seem quite um specific with the measurements i don't think they were going crazy yeah um and we're like we sat down um it's funny me and my friend we sat down. It's funny, me and my friend, we sat down at this table, a cocktail bar. And there were the two ladies at the table next to us.

And they were just like chatting, chatting, chatting, chatting. And they were getting right into my friend's ear. And my friend was like, let's move. We moved over to a different table because she was getting annoyed by these ladies chatting and yammering. Yeah. And then as it moved, the two ladies got up, walked over to the bar, picked up a tray of drinks, and came over to us. And they were drinks reps.

And they were like, hey, would you like to try this drink? So these two women, we just got up to avoid. No. And now come over to us with a tray of drinks. Surprise, we're paid to bother you. I was so confused. I was like, when they got up to the bar and just like came over to us with a tray of drinks after we'd left them because they were annoying us and they were like they were too i said to my friend that this there's such quintessential like drinks reps, women. Yeah. Because there were like two hot women

if you asked a 16-year-old boy to draw a hot woman. They were scribbled in the back of a homework book. Yeah. One was brunette, one was blonde, so they covered all bases. So they could appeal to everybody. Yeah. So, yeah, I had a little cocktail there and then went around the corner to this um a ramen place uh which is run by

uh i think a jewish american guy and it's called ivan ramen and so he puts like schmaltz in in the ramen which is like the Jewish chicken fat it's a goose fat I think I think it's chicken fat here really yeah it's called schmaltz or schmaltz yeah I think schmaltz I think in German schmaltz is specifically goose fat but maybe the Americans have just Americanized it you might have been goose boy um and I got recognized by two of the Waiters there Which was weird You're kidding

Yeah I've not been recognized by anyone But we came in and the lady who greeted us Saw me and her eyes just exploded She was like oh my god are you Phil Wang No Yeah and she was like I saw you on the reservation I was like why is it And I was like am I being punked the reservation. I was like, wow, is it... And I was like, am I being punked?

Because I've not been recognized really by anyone here. And I haven't expected to be. But yeah, and then she was like, oh my God. And she was really excited. And then she sat us down. And then a different guy came to serve our table. And he saw me and was like, oh, it's you. And I was like, what?

What is it with this restaurant? And this guy had been watching Taskmaster on YouTube for the last year or something. No fucking way. Yeah, it was really weird. Yeah, so I've not been recognized at all, but except twice in one restaurant last night. That's great. Yeah, maybe the whole staff is just really into British humor. British humor.

If that's going to happen, it's going to happen in New York. At an Asian noodle restaurant. It was kind of embarrassing, actually. The first place I went was just like a noodle place. The first place I recognized was a noodle place. Yeah, like you're doing a tour of your constituency. Yeah, I'm the mayor of noodle town. And I had some sake there had some sake there that was pretty nice and then we went for another and then we went for a drink we looked for a bar and like it was a really cool one my friend looked

up a bar and she's like it's around here and we couldn't find it it was just like a it was just like a rickety gate that led into this creepy alley and i was like we'll just go to this less nice bar out here it's like no no and we went down through this alley and i was like this is wrong we're gonna get jumped yeah and we opened this random door and it was like a kind of like old secret speakeasy kind of bar oh cool it was really neat um and that was what and spirits and wine no i it was oh this is how house of cool and speakeasy was i asked for a beer on tap and the guy goes for a mug he grabs a mug no and he pours me a beer in a mug a big mug no nice that's great I mean I was both happy

like yeah this is a drinking is illegal yeah fun but then I was like but then also I was like I don't like cold drinks and mugs this will be like please just put it in a glass but it was also but it was also fun

I'd like it if the people who recognize you in the noodle place turned out to be noodle reps it's just reps all the way down man the barman bomb the barman's just like you like mugs eh wow and he's huge a huge tray of mugs ready to sell you And so I didn't get absolutely blotto But I did get sort of buzzed enough That on the way back As I waited for the A train

I was humming aloud on the platform The jazz Standard A train Oh nice, that's a good level of buzz As the a train came so it was i was like a fun level of drunk i wasn't like shitting my pants or anything no no well that you can save that for your last day or something yeah actually my pants yeah the quintessential new York experience. Shitting your pants on the A. You gotta try shitting your pants at Freddy's Famous Pants Shitting Experience.

It's the greatest. Don't let any of these cabrones, these, what is it, jabronis, send you anywhere else. Even shitting your pants has a best place in New York. This is the original shitting Your Pants place. This is original Ray's Shitting Your Pants. Babe Ruth shat his pants here. There's all pictures of Marilyn Monroe shitting her pants on the wall. Kennedy's there.

They've all signed it in brown sprinkles. It looks even more rushed than a normal signature yeah uh well um on that brown note i gotta i gotta i gotta go you gotta go we can only speak for a new york minute that's right exactly next time we speak i expect you to have become a made man in the mob. Yeah, have a good week. We haven't even discussed the UK that much. Well, you know.

The windy apple has occupied our agenda. And news and stuff. And football! Football's going even better than last time we spoke. 4-0. It's even closer to home good luck today all the boys yeah football made one more connection and it's getting closer to home yes indeed um well enjoy the game listeners and we'll see you next week bye