BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 125 - Mr T-Cells

Episode Date: July 28, 2021

The buds chat smirking, commonwealth immigration, winning at all costs, bigfoot, fish fat, feta, jib jabs and do some correspondence Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Budpod 125. One, two, five. Nice number, 125. I was just thinking that. Because it's a quarter of 500. Ooh, and it's just any multiple of 25. It's a nice, neat number you could take home to mother. It really is. It's got good good manners it's going to call her ma'am you'd love to bring 25 home to mom yes exactly yeah one two five neat polite you can

slot it away it's a square number and it's a quarter of a hundred. It's just lovely. It's like the number equivalent of when you watch one of those sort of satisfying GIFs on the internet when someone slides a joint of wood into another joint of wood and you can't see the joint. That's it. Lovely.

Smooth. You know what I've been meaning to do for ages but I've never remembered to do in the moment what? is to have a shower yeah is to say when

when I I've spent either 250 or like 25 pounds on something instead of saying 25 pounds i will tell people i'll say guess how much it costs and i'll guess and i'll go a quarter of a hundred pounds that's nice i don't know why we we only use a quarter and a half for million it's only a million that we use quarters a quarter of a million no you don't see you don't even say a quarter of a billion you only say a quarter of a million yeah you wouldn't so i'm

gonna yeah you wouldn't say a cool quarter billion pounds yeah you wouldn't maybe because like how much is how much was the flight a quarter of a thousand pounds do you do you think it's because um so in the case of a quarter of a billion that's all almost always being said in a circumstance where you want to emphasize the number yep so you want to be able to go uh uh two million is a quarter of a billion now. Yeah. Yeah, 250 million dollars. Right, you're right, because that sounds more impressive. Yeah.

Yeah, that sounds more impressive than a quarter of a billion. Yeah, it's more sort of game show-like, whereas, yeah, I guess a quarter of a thousand pounds is very it's very funny i think that's the funniest one i think it's i think it's funnier than a quarter of a hundred yeah a quarter of a thousand it's quite big but it's not it's not big enough for you to make a huge deal out of it also contextually when you say that to fuck with someone it's something that they do expect to cost in at least in the hundreds yeah like an airplane ticket a quarter of a thousand a quarter of a thousand pounds it's funny i don't know why it's just funny it's it's quite funny when you read um if you read like an old old novel and they're talking about like corruption or like someone being bribed or whatever

and it is funny when sometimes they're like and he did it all for 10 pounds and you have to remind yourself like okay no wait 10 pounds is like a year's wages or whatever and you go okay okay okay

but it's still on the page. It looks fucking ridiculous. I mean, in Australia, they had the £10 POMs, the big influx of new British immigrants. Oh, yeah. The late 20th century. And it just cost... They were just like, come to Australia, build a whole life, we'll give you a house and a job.

Just pay £10. That was it, wasn't it just yeah they paid 10 pounds started a new life in australia a pro immigration australia a pro specifically white british people immigration australia a very selectively pro immigration more like corporate headhunting than anything else and now the corollary is happening with post Brexit Britain where they're like we're going to open up the Commonwealth again

to be a citizen of the Commonwealth is to be a citizen of Britain whether you're from New Zealand, Canada or Australia you're British. And everyone's like, okay, I think there are a few more commonwealthy. Whether you're from Australia, New Zealand, or Canada,

no matter where you're from, from those three countries, you are going to be British now. It's very funny. Whether you're from Botswana lesotho or mozambique we can't wait to welcome you um good piece of trivia mozambique is the only country in the commonwealth that wasn't a british uh possession it was portuguese. It's the only one that opted into the Commonwealth, right?

Yes, it is. Yeah. Like the 70s. They made their choice. Yeah. They made their choice. Yeah, I would just... Thank you. Thank you for flying with British Empire. Obrigado. Obrigado. I would love,

love to see Obrigado. I would love, love to see Naja Faraj or Priti Patel. Well, actually, she could kind of do it maybe a bit more sincerely because her parents are from Uganda, aren't they? Oh, are they Ugandan-Indian?

Yeah. Indian? I'm pretty sure. Whereas Faraj, I would just love Faraj to be like, not just like Botswana or Lesotho or whatever, but in the Commonwealth, but like really specific African tribes he's particularly fond of. Wait, so Priti Patel is also, because in the last episode we were talking about

how Priti Patel had nothing on, was it the Dutch? The Danish guy, yeah the danish guy but if she is descended from ugandan indians and she's likely be descended from refugees as well yes yes um i don't know if they were officially refugees uh um but no she's it's it's more just that like um but no it's more just that like I think

Ethiopia has more currency in the bleeding heart world than the Uganda stuff let's find out Priti Patel god her Wikipedia profile picture is the most evil smirk

I mean I know we've discussed the smirk many times, but fucking hell. Priti Patel Wikipedia. Yeah, look at it. Ugandan Indian family, yeah. Her paternal grandparents were born in Gujarat in India, moved to Uganda, ran a convenience store in Kampala, and in the 60s they emigrated to the UK. Okay, so it doesn't say that they were... I think Priti Patel is quite good looking.

Is that bad? No, I've heard it said, Phil. I've heard it said on the grapevine. Yeah, I think she's very good looking. I guess this speaks to my, and you're familiar with this, lifelong weakness for very mean brunettes. And you don't get much meaner. This is Priti Patel. Because you yourself are an immigrant, Phil, this is like Priti Patel, if you tried to go out with her,

that's the closest you'd come to being that German guy who met up with the cannibal so he could be eaten? the closest you'd come to being that German guy who met up with the cannibals so he could be eaten. You'd be like, well, she might deport me, but it's worth it. The thrill of the chase. She's chasing me out the country.

To the docks. That's funny. Yeah, she really does have a proper harry potter killer smirk yeah yeah how do you think you muster up that smirk do you think it's her only smile or do you think she knows that it's like it's time to turn on the smirk i i think it's her only smile I think that's just a smile People I think in order for her To be intentionally doing that smirk Requires A greater sense of humour than she's capable of Surely

Maybe yeah You know what I mean It requires such a sense of irony And sarcasm To smirk the way she does I think those are the scariest um types of of politician especially right-wing almost almost always right-wing politician where where it's so much of a game to them that they're like oh i'm i now i just have to pretend to be this evil guy and then you pretend to not be the evil guy and then i'll we'll go for drinks after me you know where it's where it's

like um it's just a big game of politics a big bit of fun like uh when you read about boris johnson saying to david cameron oh well i'll head up vote leave and then obviously vote leave will lose and then you'll be the prime minister and then because i was in charge of vote leave i'll be the next prime minister well it's like, I was, yeah, I always hear about sort of like a show like Question Time or Have I Got News For You or whatever. Yeah. They'll go on the program

and there's like a Tory and a Labour person and they're like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the Tory afterwards will always be like, oh, that was good fun. See you next time. Oh, you almost got me there. And the Labour person will just be like

yeah but this is the thing is that it does seem to be a at least in the uk or a right-wing thing that detachment um yeah yeah it's um it's all a bit more of a game. Maybe it's why they win all the time, because people can sense that they're just detached a bit. They're just kind of like, well, you know. Well, they can sort of apply game theory to it. They can strategize because they can see the game of it, and they don't get consumed by, you know, moralistic or ethical obsessions.

It is funny because it is such a, like, or ethical obsessions. It is funny because it is such a like such a sort of like really basic Disney villain logic like you were blinded by love. Yeah but what Disney misses out

what Disney misses out is that that works. Yes yeah yeah just Captain Hook surrounded by the skeletons of flying boys. But yeah, it's all too easy to imagine these guys being like, for all your empathy, there's one thing you could never understand. And that's how to win. Yeah.

um what was the what were the three african countries you named earlier uh botswana lesotho and uh mozambique why those um botswana border south africa lesotho is in south africa mozambique border south africa oh are they quite white african nations no no i was making the opposite point oh i see i see as in how much yeah how much i'd love it for them to just be like pick these three like absolutely almost random right yeah yeah former commonwealth members be like what like just to see the reaction in the press That'll make up the shortfall Of European trade Just to see loads and loads Of former UKIP members

And local councillors through gritted teeth Having to go Thank god we don't have those Polish people anymore We've got all these Ugandans now Thank god for the The Soutou speaking people of Lesotho Just to see them have to justify it out loud Because they finally got what they wanted

Which is non-EU controlled immigration Yeah Yeah Um I Am Double jabbed Yeah

You've been double Double jayed Yeah I've been double jayed I am double jabbed, yeah? You've been double jayed? Yeah, I've been double jayed. I've got the J in me. You've got the J. Double jib jabs. I've got jib jabs. I'm Jabba the Hutt over here.

Why has no one else said this? I'm full on Jabba the Hutt at the moment. You're a member of the house of Jabsburg. The Jabsburgs. The Jabsburgs. How did it feel? When did you get jabby jabbed into you? On Friday.

I did like one of them walk up ones. It was so fast. Oh. Yeah, I just went to a nearby Sports leisure centre Got jibber jabbed I didn't quit that jibber jabber I joined it I would love The US getting desperate enough to try and make people

Take the vaccine that they get Mr T involved Wait is he dead? No He can't be take the vaccine that they get Mr. T involved. Wait, is he dead? No. He can't be. Can he? I don't think he is. Have you got the Mandela effect about Mr. T? I just got a sudden wave of fear that Mr. T

was dead. As if there was a great disturbance in the force. I don't think he is dead. He's alive. Chill out he is. He's alive. Chill out, everyone. He's 69, the sexiest age. Ah, lovely. Nice.

Nice. Nice. I pity the fool who doesn't get jabbed. I was going to say, I pity the fool who doesn't receive oral pleasure while they give it. Jabbing his bejeweled hand into your chest as he

says it. Okay, okay. So. Yeah, I'm a double Pfizer boy. Ooh. Double Pfizer. any side effects any illness uh both times just a really sore shoulder that woke me up in the middle of the night um but nothing else i feel a bit knock today but that could literally be anything um yeah that could be the the the armpit swamp heat that could just be me living life living my life yeah that is the problem i had with like um

when i when i did have you know a mild form of long covid it was also like oh it can also make you feel tired and useless, and you're like well that's not, you know Yeah It's like, I'm always tired. You know how the Hulk says

Eric Banner in the first Avengers movie, he was like when he turns into the Hulk for the big final battle, he's like doesn't someone say the hulk for the big final battle he's like doesn't someone say but don't you need to get angry and he goes i'm always angry and he goes that's his secret that's my secret um i'm always angry i'm always angry me i say in that voice i say i'm always sleepy and then i'm just always sleepy and i go and i fall asleep yeah I was gonna say you tense up

and then immediately drop to the floor yeah and all my clothes are ripped off for some reason except my pants all your clothes are ripped off

except so there's like pyjamas underneath now yeah man yeah so i um i uh oh gosh i was speaking to someone yesterday friend who got covid like original covid really really badly i think i mentioned him before he he had such a strong immunos well he got us so bad that he ended up donating his plasma to the NHS. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Because they wanted to study his insane immune response because he got it so bad. But he was saying yesterday that he got it so bad

that while he was in hospital, he started... He was hallucinating that he was in the Syrian war. Ooh. And he was running... He'd get run out of bed to his brother who was staying with him and say we need to get out of here get in the car he he thought he was with medicine some frontier in in syria oh my god and i was like that's a pretty arrogant hallucination to have.

He's not a doctor. That's important to know. That's very good to know that he's not a doctor because I was thinking, wow, he was hallucinating similar to his life? Nope, not a doctor at all. He's just like a birthday clown

or something. I was hallucinating that the mafia wanted to kill me for being so rich and having such a large penis. I was terrified. But I'll never know the joys of such hallucinations because I'm jabbed up to the nines. That's right, that's right. ever know the joys of such hallucinations because I'm jabbed up to the nines. That's right, that's right. The only way that you could ever know the joys of those hallucinations is if

some kind of mega-variant was created by combining all the variants like a Power Rangers Megazord robot. But I'm sure that's not going to happen at the start of the movie. Exactly, yeah. I can't wait to go and cough on all my friends again down

at the old cough park. Exactly, yeah. Oh, I can't wait to go and cough on all my friends again down at the old cough park. Yeah, I feel pretty... No, I don't. I don't feel invincible at all because I've still got a couple of weeks. Although I feel good because I did it at the eight-week mark.

The sweet spot. Yeah, it's supposed to be the sweet spot now, at least for Pfizer. Yeah. It's a sweet spot. No word on the be the sweet spot now, at least for Pfizer. Yeah. It's a sweet spot. No word on the Moderna sweet spot, but my second jibber jabber is in 10 days. I always forget you're Moderna.

I know. And what's funny enough, it's the IB of vaccinations, and you also did the IB. I just can't be pinned down, Phil. I've always got to be special, got to have a little unique thing that I say. Lifetime hipster award, thank you. Yeah, that's... I don't know when the sweet spot is for moderna i i'm hoping that um i don't get any second jab symptoms um the thing that annoyed me about the long covid stuff is that a lot of the symptoms are just like

possible symptoms of long covidlude eyelashes and waking up What? There's like Hundreds of symptoms and some of them are just What it's like to be alive Yeah yeah yeah Just sort of covering your ass kind of thing You might feel hungry a couple of times a day

You must make sure to eat Yeah Eating is very important to being able to live through this particular condition yeah you think oh that's you you will feel sleepy once a day at least yeah yeah yeah yeah a lack of a sudden lack of daylight will will make it hard will impair your vision it'll impair your lack of light might impair your vision yeah it's very um will i still play the piano anymore well i couldn't before yeah um whereas i'm quite fortunate in the sense that my long covid took the form of

a tangibly fucked up sense of taste yeah but that that i guess offsets some of your lockdown weight gain, do you reckon? Or no noticeable? I don't know. I mean, it's, well, the taste is all back now. Maybe that's how I put all the weight on. It's like embracing an old lover. Taste my oldest friend.

Get in my mouth just i've got to retaste everything maybe that's what what that's what did it i stand by the tweet i did today about the average the you see that story about the average weight gain in lockdown oh yeah it was something like three kg yeah it's three kilos half a stone it's rookie numbers do you know how have you do you know how many kgs you went up oh boy yeah yeah yeah i went up christ like i mean at least 14, 15. Really? Yeah. 14, 15 kilograms? Yeah, like two.

Kilograms? Kilograms, yeah. Like two, three stone, definitely. Whoa. Maybe as many as three stone. Yeah, two, two and a half. No, that's serious. I don't know how I did it.

And also what's weird is that the last time I was this fat, which was like 10 years ago, I looked fat and I didn't look as fat this time. You don't look fat this time. But how is that the last time I was this fat, which was like 10 years ago, I looked fat and I didn't look as fat this time. You don't look fat this time. But how is that happening? Maybe it's all inside your bones. I think it's... Maybe it's in your organs. I think it is.

I think it's genuinely like if you cut me in half, I'd be like a big salami. Or like a burrata, you know, when you... Those cheese balls and you slice it. Oh, this looks solid. And you slice it open and all this gloop comes out. That's it, exactly. And then if I had surgery, that's what it would look like. And all the surgeons would be like, ooh!

And they'd get like meze. They'd be dipping pitters. They'd be dipping pitters in my body cavity Gross It is gross Delicious Delicious Do you think it would be delicious human fat?

Well I mean No fat is sort of delicious Just on it's own like that Right I guess I think there are some fats that are gross i think fish fat is gross fish fat is what i once as a kid almost well i've not almost i accidentally put some fish fat in my mouth and started chewing and it was the the worst taste in my life to this day i've not tasted anything worse and i've tasted some pretty gnarly shit i'm not i've had cockroaches yeah they were like caviar compared to fish fat i was like i almost threw

i almost threw up instantly like instantly like some kind of awful medical reaction yeah oh was it raw or cooked or what fish? I think it was a bit cooked. I don't know, just normal fish. I can't remember. Yeah. Some normal fish. That could be part of your hatred of baked salmon. Yeah, maybe.

It's that sort of cream, that white kind of salmon jizz that forms on a baked salmon. Just horrible. that forms on a baked salmon. I just... Horrible. Yeah, it's like the horrible white stuff that people sometimes don't bother scraping off the top of the bacon. Oh, yeah. Yeah, bacon white. What is up with bacon white? What is that?

I don't know, but I'm liking the term bacon white. For the living room, Diane and I were thinking bacon white. For the living room, Diane and I were thinking bacon white. It's warm, isn't it? It's a warm color. It's a warm white.

It's not bright, but it's homely. Yeah, bacon white's horrible. Salmon juice is awful. You know, the other food... So baked salmon is the only food I don't like. Then I realised I also really don't like feta. Feta?

Feta. It's not as bad as baked salmon, but if you put feta in something, I will probably pick it out. It's the one thing I might pick out. Really? Of food, yeah. I don't like it.

I don't like that crumbly kind of... I don't pick it out. It's the one thing I might pick out. Really? Of food, yeah. I don't like it. I don't like that crumbly kind of... I don't like it. It's like it doesn't know what it is. Right, it's a sort of cheese from the in-between world. Yeah, it's a cheese from the upside down. It's like a ghost of a cheese, you know? What's that fucking creature from Stranger Things that they worried about? Oh, I can't remember now.

The fucking Rumble Nought or whatever. The Scordigon. The Scudigon. The Rattigon. The Dagabom. The Gorgonon? The Gorgonabubula. The Gorgonon? The Gorgonabubula. The Gorgonute.

The Gorgothon. Yeah. Stranger Things Monster. This is going to annoy me. No, these are all new ones. Demogorgon. Demogorgon. Demogorgon. Demogorgon.

Demogorgon. Demogorgon. The Demogorgon, that's right. So feta cheese is the sort of thing a Demogorgon would eat. It's cheese you would make from the teat of a demogorgon Yeah okay Yes I accept that feta cheese is a bit A bit smegma like

That's it Thank you that's what I'm trying to get at Yeah it's like it's come Yeah it's like it's been collected from under someone's foreskin That's what I don't like about it It is so smegma like Yeah I don't Has that ruined it for me we'll see and i just don't think that i think it's like the taste is just kind of like salty and wet it is one of those cheeses that can often

come in a sort of bag of its own wet yeah and you don't you don't like wet more than anyone. True, but then the cheese itself is almost uncompromisingly dry. Yeah, I don't know how it's done that. Yeah, what scared the wet out of that goddamn smeg cheese? The demogorgon blood. You scared the wet out of me.

That's a nice way of saying I pissed my pants. It scared the wet out of me. It's the way way of saying I piss my pants. It scared the wet out of me. It's the way a sort of goblin who hasn't quite grasped the English language would say it in a film. Something quite horribly immature about it. You scared the wet out of me, sir. Yeah, that's like something Dobby would say.

I was about to say, Dobby's pissed his pants. That's what that is. I can confidently say that in terms of the Harry Potter movies, there has never been a character that had done so little to earn a dramatic, on-screen, sad, slow death than that fucking 3D elf. Yeah, I never got on board with all that. I don't even know how many Harry Potters I saw I think I maybe saw three of them Dobby turns up by that point doesn't he

yeah I mean it's all very sad in the books or whatever but in the movie he was so 3D and so like pathetic in so many ways that I just I found him sort of more oh sort of annoying yeah he's the Jar Jar Binks of annoying yeah I found the Jar Jar Binks of Harry Potter he's he's the Jar Jar Binks of Harry Potter every franchise has a Jar Jar Binks every franchise has yeah a horrible long-eared 3d abomination yeah that refers to itself in the

third person Dobby refers to himself in the third person right I think he does yeah that's a good point it's like in too many cooks schnaff oh too many cooks that adult swim video yeah yeah they have schnaff that sort of like cat puppet

oh yeah god I haven't watched that video in so long it's so funny but like it's that sort of 80s thing of like and a kind of zany pet assistant right like so alf kind of thing yeah elf schnaff gloof blumpf you know did you ever watch a sitcom i loved it it was on the malaysian tv when i was a kid was it bigfootfoot? Or like he was a... Oh! I know what you mean. A Bigfoot lived with a family. Harry and the Hendersons.

Harry and the Hendersons. Wasn't that it? Is that it? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. And it is like a kind of friendly Bigfoot guy. Yeah, that's it. Gosh. Harry and the Hendersons That was so weird

A 1987 fantasy comedy film Starring John Lithgow and David Suchet What the fuck 43% on Rotten Tomatoes It's higher than I would have thought Okay so the TV spin off is from the movie Oh wow Oh my god

They adopt a Bigfoot called Harry. Interesting that they don't say the Bigfoot. Or do they say... Yeah, I've got a friendly Sasquatch. A Bigfoot. Oh, no, yeah. Trying to keep the legend... Oh, they tried to keep the legend of Bigfoot a secret.

It's interesting, isn't it, that they're trying to hedge their bets by saying just a Bigfoot. God knows we don't want to get sued by the bigfoot yeah the bigfoot estate is brutal they don't fuck around you do not want to fuck with the kind of ndas that the bigfoot estate makes you sign and it's bigfoot it's a big estate it's all of is it yellowstone where is he supposed to be um yeah yellowstone is in in sort of pacific northwest yeah something like that

he's a big bigfoot i'd like the idea that bigfoot is the Harvey Weinstein of cryptozoology. He's this horrible, tyrannical, evil figure, sort of forcing people into silence. You can't say that about Bigfoot. Do you have any idea how much trouble you're going to get into with the Bigfoot estate if they hear you? Well, you know what? I am going to get a fucking... Lawyer up, yeah. That's all I'm gonna say. Lawyer Up. I'm gonna get Woody Allen's son

Ronan Farrow. I'm gonna get Ronan Farrow. That's his fucking name. And he's gonna blow the lid off this whole Bigfoot debacle. Forget to catch and kill. How about to catch and take a blurry photo of that's that's the bigfoot expose that's the thing isn't it is that bigfoot has got some kind of futuristic photo blurring technology that's my that's my spin on it He's actually a very advanced creature.

Yeah, he's got like a cloaking device. Surely there's a Star Trek episode where Captain Kirk seduces and fucks Bigfoot. Yeah, it was revolutionary at the time, actually. It was the first on-screen kiss between a white person and a Bigfoot. They got a lot of bad press for that. They had a lot of hate mail. Mainly from the Bigfoot estate.

Yeah. It's amazing, isn't it, that something like Star Trek was revolutionary ever. Yeah. Because it really was but it's sort of it's so like kind of cheesy and and parodied now that we forget how how revolutionary it was yeah yeah i kind of envy the previous generations for know, I feel like we don't have those moments. I mean, I guess the flip side is that we live in a less racist slash homophobic society than they did, but it was still nice to have those moments. It must have been fun.

I guess, like, what was it? In the UK, the British equivalent was the first time in a soap opera that two men kissed and two women kissed and then obviously the the sun which it would like us to forget was like astonishingly homophobic about it as were a lot of national papers yeah yeah and that was just something like the 90s or something yeah let's forget how recent it is it is and i I was thinking recently you know it's just it's man how like no one gives a shit

about gay marriage anymore it was all it only became legal like what 2015 yeah yeah it had to be that recent because it's a Cameron thing it was a Cameron thing and like the fury up to then all these decades and centuries

of opposition and everyone who was against would be like oh it'll be the it'll be the downfall of the traditional family you won't hear the end of this and it happened and now no one could give a shit yeah I mean we've

really heard the end of it yeah it's quite extraordinary and it's quite We've really heard the end of it. Yeah. It's quite extraordinary. And it's quite... I find it very encouraging because it's like, oh, you might win this battle, but that doesn't mean they won't come back. It might.

It really might mean they never come back. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like with Trump and stuff. They're like, oh, Trump might have lost the presidency, but his supporters are there and they're going to keep... They might not. It might really be over. These things don't necessarily always keep going, these fights.

Yeah, they might just go, okay, and then they all die. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, it kind of happened with Corbyn, yeah. All this fight, like, we organize. We get ready for the next thing. Nah, it's just over. No one cares anymore. yeah it kind of happened with Corbyn we organise we get ready for the next thing nah it's just over no one cares anymore all those people are just tweeting

well I'm going to join the Greens then or the Northern Independence Party and everyone just goes okay bye and then they do and that's it yeah I guess what I find encouraging about the success of gay marriage is just like

sometimes battles do end sometimes it finishes sometimes the people you know society actually does move on it decides it makes a decision about something moves on i mean who knows if in a hundred years they rediscover a desire not to let gay people get married i mean society is cyclical like that sometimes but i know it doesn't seem that way for now it certainly didn't ping back in people's face immediately did it yeah do you know it's weird the only backlash i saw outside of a few seriously right-wing christian nutters nutters or nutters indeed of any faith. The only backlash I saw, I saw the most hips to take.

It was an LGBT person that you and I know opining that this was actually bad because it meant that gay people were now no longer sort of counter-cultural enough. Oh, boy. And that by being absorbed by such a ridiculous and outdated institution

as marriage, that was actually bad. There's some people who just, they live for the fight, and they'll find a new fight, even one that doesn't make sense. It just reminded me of that drill tweet where he's like, and the man bowed his head and said,

that good thing is actually bad you idiot you fucking moron or whatever yeah the wise man bowed his head and said that good thing is actually bad you idiot you fucking moron I always imagine the wise man

bowing his head like a character in Dragon Ball Z about to reveal why they're going to win the fight. Yeah. With that kind of like swing going across the eyes. Little glint. Little spooky glint. Spooky glint was a very good... Yes.

A very good... Yes! A very good jazz double bassist. Eerie. An eerie style. That's right, yeah. Terrifying. Spooky Glint, but... It was good stuff. His walking bass lines felt like they were following you down a dark alley

yes yes that's when you know you listen to spooky glint that's a spooky glint solo my nephew referred to goosebumps the other day as his spooky bumps how old is he? he's 28 years

old how old is he he's 28 years old you set me up for an old i was really hoping you'd do that yeah yeah yeah shout out to stuart lee and richard herring if you're listening and you might be yeah it might be it might be um no he is three spooky bumps yeah look at my spooky bumps i guess that makes more sense than a goose yeah goosebumps where does the goose come in here why why is there a goose how well acquainted are you with a plucked goose, Tiny Tim? Well, the geese are scary. They're very violent. Maybe that's more where it comes from. Someone finds geese so frightening and otherworldly

that they just get the tingles. Shall we We can do some light corresponding Yeah Let us correspond Letters, emails, phone numbers Your sister Your sister Letters

Correspondence Tom gets in touch Tom Mi hombre Nice, nice He says howdy buds I'm only on episode 14 or something So I don't know if this is still going

But I want to share a normal weird thing with you E.g. things that are weird But should be normal Or are normal but should be weird Yep, yep, yep yep yep i remember this yeah i love being reminded of these old features um yes that was a good one so he's he's going for smiling on your own in public he says should be normal is perceived as weird he says should be normal is perceived as weird yeah it's it is definitely perceived as weird but it's it is unsettling even when like you're

on a bus or a train or something and you see someone and they go they're just looking down the floor and they go and you can see they've got like ear pods in or whatever yeah and you're like well they're listening to some funny... They're probably listening to a bad pod. Yeah. But it's still... There's something in your monkey brain that keeps going, they're crazy.

What's wrong with them? Then they're not all right. What have they done to this train? I cut the brakes. It's... Yeah, if you smile on your own in public, you look a bit too much like Elijah Wood's character in Sin City. Yeah, Jason.

Yeah. That's why you have to make that halfway smile. Like when you walk past someone, you kind of recognize that sort of that sort of purely horizontal smile. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Horizontal

smile emoji. Yeah, you just shove the corners of your mouth laterally into your cheeks. Just like that. Just so people know that you know that you've got an acquaintance with each other, but you're not going to be weird by smiling or expect to smile back.

You're just like a little, I know you. Yeah, you're not going to react to them with your face like a kind of end of Lord of the Rings, kind of, you're alive! Sort of creepy level of joy. Have you seen that scene recently? It's fucking weird. Constant laughing, yeah.

It's so strange when Frodo's waking up in that bed and it's got like all this Vaseline kind of lighting. It's all like smudgy and bright. Yeah. And he's like, ah! And then bright. Yeah. And he's like, ah, ha, ha, ha, ha. And then Gandalf turns up and everyone's like, and Gandalf just goes, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

And everyone's like, ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. He's like, what the fuck are you laughing at? You almost died! If, given what I would know about Gandalf by then, if I saw him laughing, I'd fucking shit myself. Yeah, he's Gandalf the White at this point. He's very powerful.

Like, imagine how much more afraid you'd be if Jesus returned to Earth, but he was absolutely pissing himself. Maybe that's why everyone was laughing it's like when someone powerful powerful finds something funny you have to laugh along out of politeness that's true so maybe people will just laugh maybe frodo and the other hobbits just laughing along with gandalf because they were terrified like yeah it's very funny isn't it gandalf what's he laughing at i don't know just but don't piss him off. Just laugh. Yes. Yes, we almost died in Mordor.

Did you see the fucking... Yeah, no, it's funny. The glowing... The blurriness. Just laugh. So Tom says, and it should be normal, but is perceived as weird. Why should one hideth hith emotions

simply because one is in the public eye judgmental and unblinking yeah i want to stroll freely amongst my fellow men or women and allow all emotions to grace my wind and cold battered face for one rare painless second of existence yeah it's i mean it's a british thing too i think yeah it's I mean it's a British thing too I think yeah it's a Northern Europe thing yeah I remember you saying someone emailed you about how they were no longer able to listen to you in public due to laughing fits of laughter

being provoked are men in Ohio identify that's very nice cheers Tom in Bristol where Banksy was made and Colston unmade ah interesting very nice Cheers Tom in Bristol where Banksy was made And Colston unmade Ah Interesting Very nice

Well you know you've never Seen Banksy and Edward Colston In the same room There have been no New Banksys since they took down that racist Statue Who knew that a haunted statue of a Racist would secretly be good

at graffiti? Who knew that a hundreds of years old slave owner would have the kind of genius satirical mind to come up with it's a policeman and he's got a gun but the gun is a flower.

It's the Houses of Parliament, but they're all chimps because it's a bit like that sometimes, isn't it? It's Donald Trump, but he's a baby. And he's in a nappy and he's in a pram. And the pram is being pushed by the grim reaper there we go

how terrified would you be if like the next Banksy that came up was like a Banksy version of the Bud Pod logo that'd be amazing that'd be so great Banksy's out to get us I did think the shredding thing was cool to be fair good that'd be amazing that'd be so great like banksies out to get us oh fuck i did think the shredding thing was cool to be fair that'd be quite a cool the shredding thing oh yeah the shredding paint the shredded painting

of his yeah but you know it automatically shredded yeah yeah the shredder was built into the frame yeah no one knew it was even there it's amazing it was very cool yeah i mean i know someone who works at that um that uh auction auction house and there were people just freaking out they had no idea but then the shredded piece which only started shredding once someone had bought it like leapt in value the second it was shredded yeah what a gift yeah Tom says PS I forgot something

did you know that a bud pod is a little perspex box used to display weed varieties in shops in countries where marijuana is sold legally yes we've always been aware our name is marijuana adjacent.

But not so specific. Never known so specifically. And we don't mind because I think marijuana enthusiasts would enjoy this podcast. Yeah, I think so. I don't think they'd resent it.

No. It's pretty trippy, dudes. They're talking about poop. They're talking about poop and like science and stuff. Imagine being such a bitter person That you make a resentful stoner How rare that is

I don't even like weed anyway I don't know why I smoke it Now I'm hungry God Hugo gets in touch Hugo Now you go and tell us about yourself Nice Oh, Hugo gets in touch Hugo Now you go And tell us about yourself

He says, hi P and Cock P and Cock? Yeah Oh, Peacock Oh, of course, I accepted it Yeah, you're right He says Coolest uncool.

I'm still in 2019. We got some old features stuff happening here. People have been asking for coolest uncool to come back, which is a pretty cool uncool thing to do. Hugo says, I'm currently listening to episode 16 on the same day episode 101 is released. God, we're out of date. Okay, gosh. I'm working hard and I'm determined to catch up so are we without cheating and skipping any

anyways i have an uncool cool thing for you both cocktail makers who don't work at a cocktail bar yeah that is suspicious yeah they are obviously cool because they can throw shaker cups over their shoulders and make drinks that don't taste like poison, but they spend so much time perfecting their craft that they can't bear anybody at a party not witnessing their miracles. Oh, gosh. Does this happen much? I don't think I've seen this.

Someone just turning up at a party. To be fair, I've seen people whipping out cocktail skills at a party, but more on request. Okay, that's alright. Also, cocktails in general are far less cool than a whiskey since men can't enjoy sugar. All the best and keep Jack blacking it. It's true. It's true. Men can't enjoy sugar.

It's true. You know what's the big drink in America right now? What's the big drink in America right now? What's the big drink in America right now? Is it freedom? Yeah, it's always freedom. But also, hard seltzer. Oh, is it White Claw? White Claw.

Yeah, that's all Americans are talking about right now. I've seen the ads on the tube for White Claw now. It's coming over. Are they trying to... Yeah, I think I actually saw talking about right now. I've seen the ad on the tube for White Claw now. It's coming over. Are they trying to... Yeah, I think I actually saw it on a menu somewhere yesterday. It was like hard seltzer. I was like, excuse me. Sometimes I become like this tweed-wearing,

like British Bulldog kind of Nigel Farage type. And when I saw hard seltzer on the menu in London, I was like, excuse me. That's not for here, thank you very much We have flat Warm Bitter ale Yes And we might have

A whiskey and soda, but it'll also be warm It will also be That's right, hard seltzer Seltzer? Seltzer You mean fizzy water Seltzer, are you Groucho Marx? Just comedically spray me in the face

With a 1920s style seltzer Dispenser I didn't think so That's what I always imagine when I hear seltzer It sounds like a comedy prop. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Or it sounds like a kind of like sort of early Jewish comedy slang,

like from the Catskill Mountain Ranges. Yeah. Like how shtick is your material and schwitzing is sweating or whatever. It'd be like a shtick is you know your material and and schwitzing is sweating or whatever it'd be like uh a seltzer it sounds just germanic enough to to be that sort of american new york jewish culture stuff and i do associate it with sort of slapstick american slapstick yeah it's very um Yeah, it's very... Fuck, what's his name? Fucking Spaceballs and Blazing Saddles.

Mel Brooks. Mel Brooks. Yeah. The word salsa, yeah. Yes, it is. But White Claw is going to come here now. And as a man who likes to drink, who's also trying to be less shaped like Big Ol' Pint,

I'm going to take advantage when I see it, I'm afraid. Yeah. Yeah. Unless it's overpriced as some kind of exotic thing, which it's not. It's just nonsense in a can, but whatever. I mean, it's literally just like pure alcohol and soda water.

With a mild, mild flavoring. Mild flavoring. Like when flavored water smells like they've fired a thousand gallons of it through one strawberry. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, I hate fizzy drinks where it's like, it says on the front, like, lemon or like melon. It's like, oh, I have a melon drink.

And you drink it and it's like, a whisper of melon. Yeah. It's like if a melon squatted over the vat and went... There you go, that's all the melon flavouring you get. Yeah, a melon thought of this drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A melon drove past. yeah yeah yeah yeah a melon drove past um and a quick bit of correspondence from jenny jenny yeah i miss jenny that's right that's all i can think of i miss jenny uh jenny says Hello lovely poo boys Hello Jenny

I had a conversation with my boyfriend recently Where I told him that as a teenager I thought motorbikes were cool Who didn't I thought Harley Davidson's were very cool When I was a teenager I thought like Those are always the vehicles I wanted in Grand Theft Autos

Was the big sort of Harley style bike. I was like, oh, where are they? Why aren't they spawning? They're the coolest. I was mainly afraid of motorbikes. For their loudness? I just thought they were death machines. But then I grew up on the Isle of Man with the TT races and all that, so.

Yeah, so were you terrified once a year? We would just kill people every year oh right people would crash into a wall and fucking explode you know um also i don't like the smell of petrol oh maybe i think i kind of do like petrol marker pen tippex while it's drying. Love it. You're a dope head. Drug fiend. So she says, unfortunately, Facebook overheard this and has been showing me shit like this ever since. And she's attached an image.

She says, it only gets worse as I now talk about Facebook showing me things about motorbikes due to one conversation. I'm trying to counteract this by saying things out loud about my imaginary pets in the hopes I'll see more cats modeling funny outfits or parrots screaming at inanimate objects. It is currently unsuccessful.

So the image is a kind of quite good drawing of a couple on a Harley from the side. And the guy driving the Harley is a bald biker type with wraparound shades like a racist militiaman

would wear. And the woman behind him is his old lady, I believe. He was Hell's Angels Parlance. Is a kind of... She's wearing like a kind of... She looks like she's kind of wearing a turban. You know, like a kind of old lady turban.

An old lady turban. I don't think I know what that is. There's like a kind of 1920s like head turban wraps that were popular for a bit. Oh, okay. Not like a turban turban. Not like a Sikh thing. I mean like the fucking evil woman from Kuzco. The Emperor's New Groove.

She wears one. Oh, yeah. Yeah, kind of like a beehive kind of thing. No, no, no. It doesn't really extend beyond the head. It's just wrapped around the head. It's not tall at all. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Hang on. I need to know what this is called. Okay. Okay. Okay. Hang on. I need to know what this is called. Is it kind of like what the lady in that big Bertha poster?

You know, the one with the lady and she's doing her bicep curl? No, no, no. It's like Flapper, like 20s. Like... Oh, God. Is there a special name for it? I think it is just called a turban. you know um oh god is there a special name for it I think it is just called a turban

oh yeah anyway that's not the point the point is the guy driving the bike is giving the viewer of the image the finger of course and the caption is be yourself people don't have to like you and you don't have to care why does yourself have to be an asshole

that's what I want to know when they say be yourself they mean feel free to be a fucking cunt she says Pierre says a founding father I was shocked last month when I realized I didn't really know what Pierre looked like aside from the little podcast tile. I realized I had been picturing him wearing a hat.

I googled him and was shocked to see zero hats. So Jenny's always imagined you recording this podcast with a little trilby on. If it's a trilby, I'll be fucking livid. That's a real, like Jenny, that is a real slam you've done there What hat would you like Jenny to have imagined you wearing

While you recorded every episode of But Pop At least If it was like a cowboy hat Or something then it would be either eccentric Or the explanation would be that Jenny's You know nuts Whereas i know for a fact that she's imagining like the most insulting would would be like an incel hat you know yeah um but also i think it would

be really weird if she was imagining me wearing like one of those like quite tight black beanies like um like um j Jesse wears in Breaking Bad. That would be a bizarre thing to imagine me wearing. Like you have a guitar. You take a guitar to parties. That kind of beanie. Sherlock Holmes hat? I don't know.

A deer hunter. That'd be alright. But then why? I don't know. I guess if you don't know what someone looks like You just imagine whatever you want Devastated to learn that I sound like I'm wearing a hat Some people just sound like they're wearing a hat I'm sorry

You know Pierre, he's a big guy Sounds like he's wearing a hat Oh yeah, I know him. When I speak to people on the phone and then I meet them, I'll have a Zoom meeting, but then I meet them in real life, they go, oh, I thought you'd be wearing a hat. That's funny. That's very funny. Furious about that. A real L for me there to end the podcast on.

Oh, well. Guys, I'm doing the camden fringe third uh third to the seventh of august oh yeah go check that out camden comedy club third to the seventh of august i'll be reminding you on my mainly on my instagram i find it harder to promote gigs on twitter because people don't see stuff as easily i think it's just a flurry of gibberish these days. So find me on Instagram to keep up to date with that.

3rd to the 7th, Camden Fringe Edinburgh Fringe, 13th of August to the 19th at the Monkey Barrel Comedy Club. Ooh, that's a good venue. That's one of the best venues. It's a sweet sexy venue. So come one, come all and also

thank you to all the pub um um pod buds blah who came to see my little country mile work in progress um it was very cool to see you guys and also to any pod buds who were at the Oh god What's it called? Underbelly All-Star Thing in Earl's Court Oh nice Phil anything to Plug? My Netflix special Is coming out on the 10th of August

So Set your clocks On your Netflix app Global release date Set your Netflix to record on the 10th of August Yes that's A global release date Tune your dial to N for Netflix

10th of August wherever you are In the globe You should be able to watch it And also my book Sidespl, is coming out in September. You can pre-order now. Pre-order it. Can people still buy signed copies and thereby force you to sign things? Oh, there are still signed copies

available, yes. Nice. Well, do it. Make me work for it. Make him sweat, boys and girls. Make me sweat. Alright, thanks very much for listening, everyone. Bye-bye. Bye.