BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 131 - Backwards Chat

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

The boys talk backwards, cult leaders, Bezos in space, the tennis, pamphlets, Othello and the Flat Earth Science Corps Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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That's what you get with us, free fun. Bumpy bum. Bumpy bumpy bump. Bumpy bum. Phil, have you been taking your ivermectin You're on your horse Your horse medicine What is this ivermectin then Have you not seen the news all about the

If you don't want your vaccine Yeah Take horse dewormer If you don't want a vaccine They think the vaccine is dangerous Yeah So they're taking horse dewormer Oh right okay

That's what that story is about Yeah ivermect're taking horse dewormer oh right okay that's what that story is about yeah ivermectin is a a dewormer an agricultural dewormer for horses and maybe sheep i think it's horses though mainly okay yeah what is the reasoning um you may well ask uh i'm not sure i've seen things about toxins i've seen things about toxins. I've seen things about worms. Toxins is a great thing. Just toxins, you know. Just general bad things in body. Toxins is one level above saying ghosts. Yeah.

It's so close to just going, ghosts did it. To go to toxins. And you go, right, right, science. Yeah. So your body just makes toxins all the time it poisons itself does it it makes poison inside itself also everything you eat has poison in that's another thing the toxins you're putting them in you fool yep yep but they're all they're also in and you have to eat special leaves. They're in your bones.

And yeah, you have to eat special things. Isn't it funny that the most harrowing thoughts sometimes come from people who speak very softly and have kind of wind chimes and kind of like... Are you like hippie folk? Yeah, hippies, crystal people. And Osama Bin Laden, who's very softly spoken, do you remember?

Oh, yeah. He had a very sort of calm, measured pace to his speech. Do you think that that's part of being like a kind of cult leader? Where like he'd be halfway through describing 9-11 and people go, wait, what did he say? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they were just like lulled into this like, ah. Cult leaders do seem to be quite

softly spoken there's him there's um the was it the banerjee the bamji the oh um in marvel country yeah yeah yeah it was jeremy corbin cult leaders they just have a sort of soft way about them it's it it lures the unsuspecting acolyte in. Full sympathy to any potential cult leaders out there who are like, Hey, how's it going? You want to get in this van? Ooh, no. Gilbert Gottfried is not starting.

You want to get in this van? Yeah. Iago from Aladdin is a terrible cult leader people will be like he's not charismatic he's grating and aggressive I don't know about you but that parrot being called Iago really caused some cognitive dissonance when I

went to watch Othello for the first time really? because Iago in my head he's a big loud bird he's a big loud parrot time. Really? Because Iago in my head... He's a big, loud bird. He's a big, loud parrot. And then it's like, Iago, oh, from Othello. He's like, there's a parrot in Othello?

He's a bird? There's a bird, there's a big bird in Othello? Have you prayed tonight, Desdemona? That would be good to see. No, no, Othello says that says that not iago i'm getting confused now iago says uh uh your wife's running tricks on you your wife she is she's oh she's not being true. Yeah. He's saying, watch out.

She's banging a moor. It's old school racism. Wait. Othello is the moor. She's not... Oh no, he says your daughter is banging a moor to the dad at the start. He tries to get the dad of Desdemona

all riled up. Right. Because his daughter's going out with Amour. Oh, yeah. That's right. And then he causes other trouble. He's a troublemaker, that guy. He's a troublemaker, yeah.

Not a team player. Well, I think this is precisely the level of sophistication our podcast strikes. A discussion about Othello, but misremembered. Misremembered misremembered othello fringe 2022 that's a show forget forget pissed up shakespeare whatever it's called shit face shakespeare where everyone gets drunk how about a shakespeare production where people don't know the lines and i have just a grasping knowledge of the plot. Yeah, and people sit around and go, wait, so who was the...

Wasn't there a thing where there's like twins? Someone's a twin? And people are like, yeah, yeah. Just watching people kind of construct from school. Yeah. Wait, so there's a play in the play? There's a play in this play? Which is...

Are we in the play now or the play of the play? We're in the play of the play of the play of the play It's plays all the way down Yeah The theatre production of Inception We have to get deeper into a new play No horse worming medicine for you?

No I've not taken any I'm jabbed up to the nines Jabbed and ready to gab On Bud Pod Nice I got my flab jabbed I got my flab Yeah yeah

I asked for it in my belly I was like jab my flab baby Jab my flab with that shit from the lab Give me a stab And I'll get in a cab I was like, jab my flab, baby. Jab my flab with that shit from the lab. Give me a stab. And I'll get in a cab and I'm off to blab with my friends. That's right. With my friends.

I'm not young enough to say dab. I've been what? Dab. You've been away? I've been away. We did a corn episode. Oh, yes. The Cornwall episode. Which I recorded in a kind of charming shed yeah now you're back in terra novelli we are we are in

both in person in your flat we are for the first time in a long time and um for various holiday and work and covid related reasons it's the first time i've been back in my own flat home place for two and a half weeks i haven't been on holiday that whole time but it's i've just been doing stuff that that includes the time where i did the recording again thanks to all the pod buds who showed up um yeah so it feels like oh the pleasant recording well you're living on a suitcase then? Yeah. How? That's on the road? Yeah, because the GF had COVID, right?

Oh, right. Oh, right, so you couldn't be in the flat. I had to ride the rails. Like a hobo of war. Yeah, the harmonica. I can't wait to hear a fancy country song about Old Piana Valley. All my stand-ups about like

what's the deal with these guys who hog the big fire in a big bin? The oil drum fire is for everyone. These fucking guys. Rail yards could do without them, in my opinion you never see a bin fire start do you

you never see the most organized hobo yeah who's the one with the initiative who's gathering up newspapers bits of wood, planks and so on where do you get an oil drum yeah

somewhere post industrial I guess Saudi guess saudi arabia i don't know that's true that's true there's a time in early pandemic where you would have been paid to take away an oil a drum of oil oh yeah negative oil prices oil prices like a glitch in the game of life it's like when you play counter-strike and you go into gravity and you make it like a million. And so if you fall off, if you walk down the step, you die. Makes that horrible crunch noise. Yeah.

I mean, that was the strongest point of the world's ending for me. It was when oil cost negative dollars yeah it's very much like uh crazyville yeah oils for free we'll pay you clouds are on the floor now there's no you know i'm glad that's a friend of the oil parents are okay the oil look any oil barons listening we're glad you made it through uh that time yeah thank you for all your oil thank you for i we love you we love you we're glad you're happy we're glad you're safe and healthy yeah and we're here for you yeah if you ever need anything we're here for you. Oil barons. If you ever need anything, we're here for you.

Or baronesses. Or baronesses. Or baronesses. Any of you. Any of you oil aristocracy. Well, the Rockefellers are out of oil. By which I mean they've left the area as opposed to they've run out.

Where's my oil? It's not like some guy going around New York in an old-timey white tie. No, apparently they sold up all their stuff. They get an eye to the future, the Rockefellers always have. That's right. Worryingly, they've invested in anti-being-fucked-in-the-eye-by-hornets devices. What do they know that we don't?

devices. What do they know that we don't? They've invested in anti-wasp laser defense domes. Mmm. Uh-oh. And it's the same amount they had in oil, so it's a lot. Why are they all investing in...

Why is Elon Musk investing in lizard repellent? Yeah. Why is everyone... Jeff Bezos just filed a patent for something called an interdimensional contraceptive. What does that mean? Uh-oh. What did he see out there in space?

Yeah, it's a condom, but it's shaped like when they try and illustrate a black hole Like it's that vortex in space Yeah it's a big cone And it's kind of humming Or it's like a Mobius strip You put on your penis It's an infinite surface area

Yeah you can't tell Which is what I need for my dick Ladies I need a Mobius condom Because my for my dick. Ladies, I need a Mobius condom because my penis has an infinite surface area of a completely indefinable shape. We were talking the other day

how funny it would be when Donald Trump was leaving the Oval Office and was waving. How funny it would be if he Trump was leaving the Oval Office and was waving. How funny it would be if he just, as he walked into the Air Force Two, the helicopter, he just jumped up and zipped his own head off. Yeah. As it took off, he just fell out like a mannequin. Yeah.

How funny would it be if Jeff Bezos went into space and then he just went everyone else is like strapped in with their helmets on and everything else like that he just goes, without saying anything just goes to the airlock and just lets himself out just and he's like, Jeff? Jeff? and they just see him

in the blackness of space floating away in the distance and he's just smiling and then you just have to come back to earth going we've lost we've lost Jeff he just let himself out I don't know like well what do we do with Amazon

I don't know I don't know he delivered himself into space some what some something more powerful than him ordered him the whole flight it seemed like he was Something more powerful than him ordered him. The whole flight, it seemed like he was hearing music that we couldn't hear. Yeah, he just let himself out.

And you just have to come back to Earth going, well, we don't actually know what to do about that. Would they chase after him in the shuttle? I always wonder this. They would, right? It's like in gravity. That's the closest reference point I have. They were kind of up for, what was it, like two hours of weightlessness or something,

like 15 minutes. Oh, yeah. They were kind of still arcing up, so maybe they just... Did you hear the recording of Jeff Bezos when he was in zero gravity in space? No. He just went like, Woo-hoo!

Awesome! Awesome! Woo! Like an NPC. Just like a weirdo. Woo! Yeah. So if you turn on Zero Gravity mode on Roller Coaster Tycoon,

he just sounded like when you click on someone who's attending the park. Yeah. Woohoo! Woo! Wow! Yeah. Oh my God.

Amazing. Woo! Yeah. Maybe he is an NPC. Yeah. woohoo wow yeah oh my god amazing maybe he is an NPC having infinite money is something NPCs have you know he is kind of unreachable I bet that it wasn't all that

great and he I bet that it wasn't as good as simply just owning the earth from the earth and and he was disappointed and he was trying to g himself up ironically g himself up and by going uh it's not really doing it yeah he was doing a christmas morning disappointing gift unwrap yeah yeah yeah ah space just what i wanted yeah because he's done he's like a god on earth right so he still he wanted to be overawed yeah he wanted to meet something bigger than him so he went to space

and couldn't find it it wasn't enough he just went well now i've done this now i remember hearing um it may well have been fellow podcaster and incredibly mildly controversial um well i don't know mildly bill burr controversial is he controversial a lot of people hate him that's that's not the same, is it? The brilliance of Bill Burr is that he technically is, but he doesn't court... He's no interest in it. Yeah, the attention. He just is. It takes two to tango for someone to be controversial,

and he won't get on the dance floor. That's true. So I don't think... I mean, this is the power. I know I speak on this podcast all the time about the power of not engaging yeah not apologizing uh and not letting people uh take you down for something they disagree with like bilba the kind of things we've seen a stand-up yeah if you wanted to you could totally

say this guy's um he's making misogynistic jokes i mean i don't believe that but there are plenty of people that um i mean the first half of a lot of his routines are and usually yeah he usually he qualifies it with the second half and he's mellowed a lot i wouldn't want to watch him even in his 40s but the amount of time he says fucking can't all that. He is in Disney's The Mandalorian. Because he doesn't fucking care. And he doesn't engage with people who get angry about him. He doesn't, I think to be cancelled, you have to let people do it. You have to let it in.

Like a vampire, you have to let it in. You have to invite it into your home. Yeah, across the threshold. Yeah, well, he doesn't apologise. He doesn't explain. But I remember years ago, he was talking well, he doesn't apologize. He doesn't explain. But I remember years ago he was talking about, he didn't say who it was, but it was someone who was like maybe a huge

like rock and roll star in the 80s and 90s. Yeah. And had done like endless stadium gigs. Just groupies, drugs. You meet all the most famous people. You meet fucking Muhammad Ali, ali nelson medela like whoever you want right and you live in a mansion and you can do whatever you want go wherever you want and you have you've done everything and you've had like 40 000 people singing along to

your songs and he was saying that um the guy the guy there's something there's an element of which the guy is just dead behind the eyes because he's done everything yeah so whenever anyone's like look a perfectly poached egg he's just you know he's alexander the great yeah exactly yeah so i was like look there's a swimming pool full of supermodels and he's like well just like last year yeah like his life is just a movie he wept for there were no more supermodels left to bang that's right well. Well, Alice Cooper. Was that him? The rock and roll guy.

No, well, he plays golf a lot. Alice Cooper plays golf a lot. Constantly. He's obsessed with golf. There's all these really funny pictures of him with eyeliner and his long rock and roll hair. And like really old school tartan golf kit. Great. And he just plays golf a lot.

Yeah. And I think you need to find a thing if you've had that kind of life. Yeah. Like retiring to a monastery or something. Equivalent. Yeah, just something wholesome. Yeah. But Bezos is going to need that.

I feel like I've already found that with chess. Really? That's your forever hobby? Just my forever like... Diversion. Like idling state. Just chess, chess, chess, chess, chess chess chess Yeah I'm trying to cut down but I think I found my rating which is annoying

I don't think I can get my rating much higher What's your rating now? It sort of is a between On the 5 minute splits games It's between 1050 and 1100 That's good man It's alright it's It's all right. But I guess I always had in my mind

I'd be behind her up. We can't all start training for the Olympics now. Yeah, that's true. You know. Speaking of great sporting achievement, Emma Raducanu, the... Yes. The second most inspirational Eurasian person in the UK

Good tennis From that Eurasian Good tennis But where is her viral Tom Hiddleston video? She's got time She's only 18 She hasn't even come out As being formally anti-murder yet

That's true I can't wait for her to be Cancelled for being pro-murder yet. That's true. I can't wait for her to be cancelled for being pro-murder. Imagine. Did you watch when they had to make them all these speeches? No. Right at the end. So they've won and they're all standing on a podium

and blah, blah, blah. And a bunch of tennis people are there. I don't know about tennis. And they interviewed, first of of all the second place the canadian oh yes leila leila something fernandez fernandez i think that's right that's correct leila fernandez and she did this really like incredibly like north american speech i just want to thank everyone and she was like and you're beautiful new york and she did like a 9-11 reference as well wow because i think it was like on or the day after 9-11 or they played on 9-11 at some point and she did it like and i just would be as strong as you have been strong on this tarot like a kind of wow pretty balls out 9-11 9-11 reference i was

watching it with friends and we joked that one of them would do it. Wow. We would never have thought. But she busted it out, and obviously it's America, so everyone, woo! And we were like,

oh, fuck, she's really salted the earth for Rajakhanu here. Yeah. Because you're kind of going to go, I also think 9-11 is bad. New York, I just like to say. And she's like, yeah, what she said. What I also think 9-11 is bad. New York, I just like to say.

And then she's like, yeah, what she said. What she said about 9-11, good stuff. Thumbs down to 9-11. And then when she got interviewed, it was like the most British, like, yeah, really good. Yeah, happy. Yeah. It was just really like not grandiose at all. She wasn't alive when 9-11 happened.

Yeah, it would be like you and me going, good work on the Berlin Wall. I've heard a lot about it going and it's good. It's gone. Just completely yeah. I really liked how

incredibly sort of low-key and English, British the vibe was of a victory speech it was still triumphant but it wasn't anywhere near like you'd think the canadian lady had won she's also like she's 18 like what are you going to say when you're 18 well she's 18 and all she's ever done is play tennis yeah to my knowledge i guess and school but you know like you wake up play tennis do some school more tennis your school, more tennis. Your life is tennis. Your life is tennis.

But I mean, I look back on some of the, how bad I was at speaking at 18, and I wanted to be a comedian. If someone put a camera in front of me, and a microphone, I'd be like, yeah, it's good. I'm happy the ball hits the right place obviously it's difficult to train uh happy happy 9-11 happy 9-11 um i hope you've had a great day well not a great you know uh i haven't had a great obviously i've had a great day um but i didn't want but not because of 9-11 in spite of

9-11 I've had a good day I would have been like that I would have just been terrible and also you've just played what an hour or two hours of tennis or whatever oh yeah I'd have sick down my front I can't talk to people if I'm jogging

I get to I get one time one one time guest on this podcast stewart laws and friend of the podcast alex keely went for a run the other day because we're all on holiday together they both went for a run and they neither of them wore headphones so they could talk. What? Welcome to what my vibe was when I heard that. Oh yeah, but we can just talk if we don't listen to music. Oh yeah, good point.

How are we going to breathe? How are you going to breathe? How are you going to breathe? Talking? You're running. I'd like you to speak on the intakes as well as the exhales. Do you like running? I like it as well, the exhales. Do you like running? I like it as well, just like throwing up.

So are you watching anything good at the moment? Do you recommend any fun websites? My God, the eternal chat. They said it couldn't be done. The Grail. Never need to stop. If you were a rapper, Phil, you could rap so well.

That's true. But isn't this like Mongolian throat singing or something? Isn't that how they do it? Rotating, circular breathing and stuff. Yeah, I don't know. But yeah, you could keep chatting forever if you just did this and you could speak about anything you wanted

for the rest of your life and never have to pause or go to sleep or eat because you could breathe. Just keep talking. Just keep on talking, talking, talking. I can't believe we've invented infinite talking. You could just never be interrupted again. It's horrible sounding.

It's how a demon would sound. You know when you're having a conversation at a party or something, and you're just about to hit a... It's like a... You know, it's an animated conversation. It's a debate. You feel like you're on a roll. But you can see in another person's eye,

they've got something lined up they want to say. They've got a rebuttal, but you don't let them in. So you're like, i don't know well the thing about communism is it's it's taken more lives than it could ever benefit and you see them um trying to piece together the argument they're waiting to pounce and you just go and there's so much evidence for it if you just get a look at your history and you should never have to stop. Don't be rude to interrupt you. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, I think this is like a... This is dangerous in the wrong hands. God. This is the... Yeah, this is the nuclear button. Vomit on your sweater already. Horrible. Okay, I didn't understand what that was.

I was trying to say vomit on your sweater already. Oh, right. Trying to do like a circular rap. Mump spaghetti. That is really haunting. That's horrible.

Mump spaghetti. Mump spaghetti. Mump spaghetti. The backwards men. What would this be? Dop Dop dub That's Bud Pod backwards This is dop dub

You're listening to dop dub Oh horrible Vomit on your sweat How did you Sweater How did you do that so well? Vomit on your sweater That is That is genuinely haunting How did you do that so well? Vomit on your sweater.

That is genuinely haunting. Vomit on your sweater. Yours is very clear, mine. I can't do that. I don't know. Although I was, I don't know, maybe it's like our throats are different shapes. Our throats are different shapes imagine if you just

heard this voice in the middle of the night actually that was okay that would be alright that's okay it's so weird because

I can see your face and it's not god that's odd I was annoying my girlfriend the other day by trying to do the Mongolian throat singing, trying to get that resonance going.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. That's an annoying thing to do around the house. Try it. I mean, it sounds a lot like the Tat Whispering Didgeridoo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the Tat Didgeridoo. It's basically, as some pod buds pointed out, the Tat Didgeridoo was kind of throat singing anyway oh right yeah it's like

oh it's so close i nearly got it there it's really hard you're breathing in at one point are you no out just out the whole way but it's like you reach a point where the vibration is exactly the right vibration for your throat and it sounds like that weird Is this good podcasting? Sony Award Backwards talking and Mongolian throat singing We're just playing with our throats

Oh no, it's an aria now, isn't it? Like radio Broadcasting awards, audio broadcasting awards Oh right, we can get an aria for this. It hurts as well. And man, is it annoying. I don't even know what you're doing. If people are trying to...

Nah, nearly. Oh, God. Is that it? Well, you've kind of put your whole head back there in a kind of... I think it's... Oh, maybe. No, that needs to be more resonant. Yeah, that's it. They get like the whole chest going Yeah

Not nearly You can kind of feel it When it starts to vibrate At the right level Any tips Any nomads listening Anyone listening on the steps That would be good

What are steps S-E-T-E-P-P-e-s stepes stepes the stepes are what's the area it's a it's a sort of flat uh semi-arid grassland i think delightful lovely this time of year i think it's most of the stands kyrgyzstan and uzbekistan and all that so sort of mongolia north china all the way through all the diehard fans of various people go. All the stans. I'm a real stan stan. I just love Central Asia.

I'm a real Kyrgyzstan. I just love Kyrgyz. If you're Kyrgyz, I stan you. We stan a Kyrgyz queen. Cannot do that joke with Pakistan. Uh-oh. Yeah. Someone's about to...

Well, if you're... Hang on. Hold on. That would be like a slur version of saying like, what do cows drink? They really quickly ask something. They go, milk. And you go...

That's true. Even I thought milk just said. Yeah. It's a good one. God damn it. It is a good one. It's classic. C'est classique. Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada partage l'argent avec vous sous forme de remise. Téléchargez l'application gratuite Rakuten et ne manquez jamais un bon deal.

Ou allez sur rakuten.ca pour en avoir plus pour votre argent. C'est R-A-K-U-T-E-N. It's not a real It's not like an organic place name Oh It's like made up An acronym made up of like The provinces that make up the country Really? Yeah Apparently Pashtun?

Oh maybe In the mountainous region Ashton Shton Wait Wait let's see if you can get them Well I mean this is This is hard I mean, this is hard.

I mean, I'm not even sure about Pashtun. The Pashtun. Well, that's the mountainous region. Name, name, name. Mongolian throat singing and Wikipedia. Oh, okay. Singing and Wikipedia. Oh. Okay, so it does literally mean a land abounding in the pure

or a land in which the pure abound. Pakistan. Yeah, because Pak means pure in Persian and Pashto. However, the name of the country was coined in 1933. Wow, that's early. By Chowdhury Ramat Ali, a Pakistan movement activist who published it in a

pamphlet. I miss pamphlets. You and I would in another life, you and I would be pamphleting up a storm. You could change the world of pamphlets back in the day. Yeah, people were like, why did they chop off the king's head? We have a new flag. They were like, wow, there's a pamphlet. You read this.

It's a big pamphlet. It'll take you two minutes minutes it would take two minutes to read and you'll kill the king yeah i've had to make this argument concise yeah yeah yeah this there's no room for error concise and convincing and the pamphlet would just be like something like you also deserve potatoes and be like oh my god get me a pitchfork we're killing the kids what is when people talk about pamphleteers what's a pamphleteer you'd be like printing and distributing them like an activist right i believe right so you're an activist you're a campaigner yeah it's like like Thomas Paine who wrote The Rights of Man. I think that was a pamphlet. And it was like a precursor

to a lot of America's Declaration of Independence. And he was involved in that, I think. And it was very radical. Like everyone gets the right to this and that. And everyone's like, no, they don't. No, they don't. Shut up.

And when people say pamphlet in this context, it's like literally a pamphlet like what you consider a pamphlet now. Pretty much, yeah. Like just a little handheld thing. Like a pizza menu basically. Yeah. But old-timey. Cooler font. Fewer deals.

Yeah. Fewer discounts. Hmm. Bring back the pamphlet. Bring back the pamphlet. We could have a Budpod pamphlet. A zine. The Budpod zine. limited edition print run zine you can have a scratch and sniff and just smells like shit just scratch and sniff the directions is you have to put the magazine over your own ass that's that's how we save money on actually printing a smell pad on yeah this invisible ink that you can only see once you fart on it

that will reveal where you need to scratch and sniff god's sake right so it is an acronym and there are one two three four five although i'll give you a clue the fifth, they're just taking the stan from the end. So that's kind of cheating. Okay. So, Pashtun? That's literally the only word I know. I don't even know if it's at the

SSA in Pakistan. If it's not Pashtun, I give up already. Oh, okay. Punjab? Punjab? Yeah. Okay, I thought the Punjab was in India. I'm sure they've had to split it.

Yeah, it is split, isn't it? I don't know, but I imagine. You're just going to have to share. Alright. Alright. We're going away forever now, and we haven't organised anything Bye

Sort it out amongst yourselves I'm sure it will be fine You all seem to get on You've certainly behaved yourselves while we've been here Apart from all the times we had to murder you Well goodbye The Afghania Afghania

We apparently called the Northwest Frontier Province The Afgania Afgania Afgania Alright Which we would We apparently called The Northwest Frontier Province It doesn't get much more Colonial a name than that You're talking about

Some frontiers Northwest of where Oh that's classic stuff Yeah Afgania Afgania Kashmir Kashmir

Of course Who's staring me in the face A controversial Afgania? Kashmir? Kashmir, of course. Who's staring me in the face? A controversial place, of course, and an excellent Led Zeppelin song. Kashmir. One of their best, I think. So good. Sindh?

Sindh? Which letter is that? That's... What happened to the I? That's the I, I suppose. I guess that's the I. The I in Sindh is the I in Pakistan. I guess it kind of has to be, right?

Huh. Yeah, that is weird. And then Baluchistan. Baluchistan. Baluchistan? Baluchistan. John Baluchi. What's where John Baluchi's people come from? That's where John Belushi people come from

that's where all his fans live the Belushi stands the ceremonial smashing to pieces of the guitar it's like from Animal House once a year if you haven't seen Animal House give it a watch bit of fun

I made myself watch a movie isn't it mad this is what happened to my and maybe our collective attention spans over the decades yeah remember back in the day you'd be like don't watch a movie read a book yeah and then it became now the much of like TV I've been drawing

just chess I'm playing in social media I'm like I really should watch a movie yeah yeah

yeah you know what I'm saying sit by the fire yeah put on a film I need to I need to like educate I need to enrich myself I'll watch a film yeah need to I need to like educate

I need to enrich myself I'll watch a film I'll watch a movie a movie for two hours I'll sit and watch a movie I was like

wow I felt like well I'm basically doing homework I'm doing I'm going to the gym and I put on what did you watch

Collateral oh have you seen Collateral with Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx? Came out in 2004. Is that the one where they're on the train going around? It's a cab driver. Yeah, Jamie Foxx is a cab driver,

and Tom Cruise is an assassin. And he's got kind of gray hair or something, silver hair that looks really weird. Yeah, he makes it look weird. He looks like a spaceman. He makes it look it work but it was weird it's like i saw it come out in 2004 i must have watched that in 05 yeah right but i still remember and i don't know if you have this with anything i still remember the thought of seeing it

advertised in 2004 2005 and going that looks cool i want to watch that sometime yeah and i just never and and then and then i saw netflix like oh yeah i've been want to watch that sometime yeah and i just never and and then and then i saw netflix like oh yeah i've been meaning to watch that yeah my thought was i've been i've been meaning to watch that for 17 years yeah yeah i had that with there will be blood right yeah i'd always be like oh yeah doopie Doop-a-doo. And just another seven years. And so more than anything, it was just to finally just slay this beast and get that out of my head.

And now I've finally seen Clatterall. A mainly ignored film from 2004. Actually, yeah. But very good. Yeah, you liked it? Very good. You know when a thriller is just like, this is really good, actually.

I'm thrilled. I'm thrilled the the dialogue is good the characters aren't stupid yeah yeah it's not silly that's crucial it's not cheesy um it's like it's good you find out as much about the characters as you want to yeah stuff's good stuff's implied you can imagine there is some nuance some richness you can imagine yourself dialogue is natural so yeah I recommend Collateral I did a homework movie Heat

oh yeah Robert De Niro Al Pacino oh wait 1995 no 95 I think really good obviously the heist film oh I've not seen that is it good 95, 97? No, 95, I think. Really good, obviously. Wait, that's... The Heist film. Oh, I've not seen that.

Is it good? I confused that with Taxi Driver. That's what I was thinking. It's the one where Robert De Niro is like a head of a gang of cool bank robbers and Al Pacino is the head of the cool police people whose job is to catch bank robbers. Nice.

But who will win of the two? Yeah. Incredibly acting men. these people whose job is to catch bank robbers nice but who will win of the two yeah incredibly acting men i i was a lot of acting going on in that film big stuff especially from pacino a lot of yelling are they acting i always wonder with the robert de niro and al pacino are they acting are they just doing just being themselves, just going, who are you? Also, the guy, there's at one point,

there's like a mob guy who Al Pacino, as a policeman, just intimidates and kind of blackmails. And it's Hank Azaria who does all the Simpsons voices. He's in it.

And he's the one where the famous clip of Al Pacino going, talking about the mobster's wife who this guy's having an affair with. He's going, because she's got a great ass and you've got your head all the way up it. And then he goes,

when I think about a woman's ass, something comes out of me. And he gets all weird about it. Apparently, because the guy who directed it is one of those guys who does like a thousand takes. Yeah. And apparently he had improvised that on like take 78. Yeah.

This whole thing about, oh, great. And you can see his mouth is about to say big ass. Right, right, right. Because she's got a great ass. And you see him switch gears from great ass. And Hank Azaria is the one he's screaming this at. And he's genuinely horrified. Like his reaction is real.

If you watch the clip, he's like. Oh, great reaction is real if you watch the clip he's like oh great like genuinely why are you doing this to me and so it's such a good scene as a result yeah but just because al pacino got bored and decided to be fucking weird um but yeah i agree with the acting thing you and i just need roles that essentially demand of us to be us roles that essentially demand of us to be us and people will be like wow what great acting yeah i think i can't believe keanu reeves played a cool relaxed guy who knows martial arts yeah he doesn't actually know martial arts yeah yeah well because the amount of training they had to do for the matrix films oh yeah he does know i think that's why they got him for john wick because they were like well he's he's already halfway to John Wick. Right.

I know Kung Fu. I know Kung Fu. I know Kung Fu. New Matrix coming out. There is a new Matrix. Yeah, I've not watched the trailer yet. There's a new Matrix. And Keanu Reeves is an incel.

And he takes the red pill. And realizes that girls don't like nice guys like him. Even though he's got a big leather coat. I'd love it if in this one he takes the red... Neo takes the red pill and goes, My God, feminism's gone too far. And he takes the red pill and just puts on a... Like a black...

Like a Matrix patterned MAGA hat. Yeah. All the techno stuff stuff propeller heads is playing yeah neo is an incel just deliberately plugging himself into the matrix can't get a date yeah amazing interesting that they're trying to bring this out even though the pill rhetoric has been so massively

hijacked by spooky online communities I really hope they throw in a little like a nod to it or like a little easter egg a little acknowledgement of sort of the cultural memes it has inspired.

What do you think it's like to have done something like The Matrix and it's had such a huge impact on just all culture and thought? Like it transcends film, right? That movie is the reason why you know it's time to leave a party

because someone starts saying, what if it's just a Matrix man? And you go, that's when I should order my Uber. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When some fucking guy starts to say that, time to go. That's true. And that evolved into the Elon Musk simulation discourse. That's right.

It all started with the Matrix. It all started with the Matrix. That's right, yeah. None of this is real, man. I mean, if my dad owned an emerald mine and I went to space, I'd also think this was a simulation. Yeah.

That's true, because it all just works out just a bit too neatly. Everything's just going really well. That's why you think that. I'll smack you in the head and you'll be like, no, this can't be a simulation. That was horrible. Maybe that's why Jeff Bezos went up there.

He thought if he went up the Earth far enough, he could see pixels or something. Ah. Yeah. See the edge of the screen. You could see earth.gif written underneath it. I watched on Netflix a documentary about flat earthers. Ooh.

A little bit of a freak safari yeah they were freaky but I mean like the main guy he's a reasonably like charismatic guy softly spoken softly spoken he wasn't that softly spoken he's a bit of a

weirdo not a massive weirdo but he just like he says I made Flat Earth and like there are all these feuds with like well there's a big feud between him and another guy who claims to have started Flat Earth who made Flat Earth big

and he's really loopy and there's this he's the lunatic's lunatic yeah yeah yeah you move on to him after Yusuf gets bored of the normal level lunatics. The funniest group among them, though, are... So, Flat Earth has a science core.

Oh. And they are like... Quote, unquote... Busy, are they? Engineers and scientists. So their core within the flat earth society is to prove scientifically that the world is flat. Long days. And it's them that show you there's no point arguing with anyone.

Because they design perfectly good experiments yeah and the experiments give them a result that the earth is round like it's like the got really excited they paid thousands and thousands of dollars for um what would you call the device like a gyroscopic device basically it basically tells you in in absolute space where you are so so basically put this thing down and when as the earth turns it says it we have moved 1.4 degrees i think the earth is 1.4 degrees a day or something like that oh okay so they're like great so we'll we'll buy this and then we'll just put it down leave alone and and they're educated enough to to trust it and understand it yeah yeah yeah perfect and

then and the next day it showed is 1.4 degrees it moved and they're like hmm right and then they encased it in lead oh yeah to stop the CIA from getting to it to stop any interference and took it out and yep still it moved another 1.4 degrees and they're like okay so what's exciting is that we're now we're getting a case made

of and they said some crazy element like pure I don't know it's just like adamantium it's what captain america they might as well have said adamantium that they were going to encase it in to to to show that the earth wasn't spinning and they just perform all these experiments all the experiments show again and again the earth is round the earth is curved and and but but there's something so inspirational about how about them just refusing to they won't stop

they won't give in and their determination is actually quite inspirational they're like people organising a never ending rota of prayer to try and get a response you know

prayer yeah because it's so faith based what they're doing, right? Yeah. It's religious, basically. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, um...

No, it's very, very strange. It's interesting. I think, do you think, um... Do you think they get invited back to speak at their old science departments? One of our graduates is the head of research at the Idiot Club. Why don't you come up here and tell us how stupid you are and how embarrassing you are.

Tell us how, in fairness, tell us how perfect your experiments are and how stupid you are for not believing the results. Yeah, it's faith-based stuff. You can't reason yourself out of a position you didn't reason yourself into that's very good not my words the words of elton john i don't know who said it i was very maybe elton john um in terms of being um um a lunatic's lunatic i remember uh comedian friend of the show friend of ours johnny leonard oh yeah uh we used to be very amused at the idea of because obviously there's the comedian

a comedian's comedian you know like stewart lee say yeah and the comedian's comedian podcast that's true very good podcast but the idea of a fisherman's fisherman he catches fish that other fishermen really know are difficult. Yeah, I guess the something-something sort of falls down when there's just an objective goal, right? You either do it or you don't. A lot of the fish that that fisherman catches, ordinary members of the public who don't know about fish, they wouldn't even think some of them were fish.

But if you're a fisherman and you see him fishing, oh boy, you know that what he's doing up there is actually very clever. Yeah. But if you're a fisherman And you see him fishing Oh boy You know that what he's doing up there is actually very clever Yeah It looks silly to catch one sardine But it's also really hard He's catching fish Most of us throw back in the sea

Yeah We don't think it's anything He's catching fish in a way that we've never seen Yeah He's catching fish in a way that we've never seen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. He's catching them by the tail. Yeah. How's he doing that?

How's he doing that? The hook's going in the tail. And it's not about the fact that it takes longer, or the public, and the normal people would just be like, well, that's no use to me. I want fish now. But we can see this guy.

There's something special. Yeah. Yeah, but you can't really have there's something special yeah yeah but you can't really have a could you have a surgeon's surgeon somebody who does kind of elaborate stitching he puts the arm onto the front it's

you've seen a lot more people it's not popular it's not popular but just because something's popular doesn't mean it's good have you seen all those people around with the front arms that was him

that was him the fronties that's what they that's what they call them doesn't mean it's good. Have you seen all those people around with the front arms? That was him. That was him. The fronties. That's what they call them. The fronties. The Franks fronties. Franks fronties. Frenty Frank. MD.

Thank you. That's Dr. Frenty Frank to you. I didn't study for nine years for you to call me Frenty Frank. Dr. Fonty Frank. It's like they say about Underground, right? Not everyone listened to them, but everyone who did started their own band. Yeah. Well, not everyone went under the knife under Fronty Frank,

but everyone who did now has an arm on their front. Not all of them became surgeons, but they all had an arm on their front. That's for damn sure. Fronty Frank made sure of that. No, you fucking worry. Oh, fucking hell. Well, well. Autumn's here, Phil.

The fallen leaves drift by the window. The autumn leaves of red and gold. Yes, at long last. At long last, the blasted, bastard summer is gone for another year. Our enemy, the sun, has retreated.

But, you know, every time, this is how I feel, because of global warming, this is how I feel because of global warming this is how i feel about the summer now i see the sun recede away but it's like it's like i don't know fucking pennywise in the first year just like i'm gonna come back stronger than it is like because because i know every age is gonna get it's like it's like a mario level yeah super mario like bowser you go well i'm gonna have to do this again.

And it's going to be harder. And it's going to be harder. There'll be turtles and skulls now. He's like Obi-Wan Kenobi this time. You may strike me now, but I'll become more powerful than you can possibly imagine. Because of carbon emissions. And he disappears. The first day of summer, I sense a presence.

Presence I've not felt since... Your face burns. Yeah, so every autumn now I'm like, ah, summer's over. And then my mind's like, but next summer will be even worse. And also don't forget fake summer. What's fake summer?

Or hot autumn. Oh no. Mold autumn. That horrible thing that happens in the UK where it's 16 degrees, 18 degrees on Halloween. That's the scariest thing I can think of. Pouring sweat in your mask. Horrible.

Horrible. Horrible. That's absolutely horrible. It's horrid. Horrid Halloween. An horrid... Avon Aurid Halloween I want another fuck off blizzard

We've had a couple of good blizzards as well This is what we can expect now Just ever more dramatic battles between ice and Ice and fire A song of ice and fire A song of fire and ice That's a much more Attractive name than

Global warming Don't call it that Call it a fight Fire and Ice. That's a much more attractive name than Global Warming. Don't call it that. Call it a fight of ice and fire. The battle of ice and fire begins. Yeah. I've been told by a few people that I should, I should A, join TikTok. Don't.

Don't. You've got to let Jinping in. Don't let Jinping in. That's right. I need to get a special Chinese Communist Party only phone. You're going to get Jinping'd. I'd get Jinping'd. That's right.

I'd have to just stay in his flat. And just do like the medieval guy voice. The song of ice and fire. Most good. Just do that kind of generic fantasy slash medieval guy voice. Just about whatever.

But yes, I'm going to try and enjoy being the moment and enjoy autumn. My favorite season. Mindful autumn. And you're on tour yes yes yes um i've done two weeks now they've been really brilliant fun i was in newcastle i was in taunton i was in uh northampton oh uh it was and the crowds have just been brilliant and fantastic. Yeah, everyone's been a real blast. And it's nice doing some new bits,

doing some old bits. Check Insta and your Twitter for the dates. Yep, yep. And go on my website, philwang.co.uk. Also, this Thursday, my book, Sidesplitter, is released. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. released tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow Thursday

the 16th if you're near Alexandra Palace there's an event I'm talking to who wrote Empireland the tickets for that are somewhere Alexandra Palace but if you're anywhere please pre-order the book or buy the book when it's out

buy the booch buy the booch it's out. Buy the booch. Buy the booch. Booch is a German word that means bark of a tree. That's where the book's from. Isn't that the bark? Bark. People used to write on the bark. Ah! Oh, nice. You've got your own bark coming out.

Yeah. I finally inscribed my own bark with my words, my thoughts. I want it to sell enough that you have to do another one. Because exactly, yeah. I really enjoyed, like, as an art student, and you were, you know, an engineer.

Yeah. I just loved hearing the words, word count. And, you know, like, oh, I was up late redrafting some paragraphs music to my ears i loved it when you're you're now an honorary art student you've had the most the biggest si crises of all but because of engineering i look at i look at sentences like equations that have to be balanced yeah so i will just nitpick and nitpick and nitpick until i feel like sentences about well that's why you're such a forensic stand-up, I think. I guess.

Forensic. Everyone's favorite thing from comedy. People leave your shows going, God, that was forensic. That's like watching CSI. Fucking hell. That blue light he shone around the room and everyone's stains showed up? And he roasted people? Fucking hell.

If we'd known, we wouldn't have come that's forensic that's forensic and he solved that murder and he's all the actual murder of the cold case one cold case per town yes i'm terrified i'll have to write another book side split two two split two sides side splitter two time to split the other side. That's it. Something like that. This time it's split. Yeah. Time splitters.

Time splitters. I remember that game. You could write a novel of that game. Yeah. Another day trying not to shoot civilians in a warehouse that they're in for some reason. No, that's not time splitters. Don't they go through a warehouse are you thinking of like the arcade games

yeah I feel like Time Splitters was no no no Time Bandits no it was Time something Time Splitters was a Playstation game I think

it was not an arcade shooter but I know where you're getting at Time Splitters it's not time team that's an archaeological program hosted by Tony Robinson shooting reload reload he's just nailing people

time splitters spiritual successes to Goldeneye oh yeah so that's time splitters that's a PS2 game what am I thinking of then it has got time in it time something Yeah, so that's Time Spaces. Oh, yeah, it was PS2. That's a PS2 game, yeah. What am I thinking of then? It has got time in it, innit?

Time something. But Time Arcade Shooter, this is going to bug me. I grew up playing this in Malaysia, in game arcades, in Kotakunabalu. Time Crisis! Time Crisis, of course! Thank God. Time Crisis. Every arcade, you go in I want to see a pink gun

I want to see a blue gun Powder blue Baby pink Give me the guns Clack, clack, clack What is the crisis with the time? There's not enough time There's not enough time

Unless you put in more coins Coins, that's right That's the only answer to this crisis How do we solve this time crisis? 20p 20p 20p coins again and again and again. It's an expensive

crisis but it's the only solution. It's the only solution. The warehouse is full of people. Yeah. Yeah. Just a random like a pedestrian in a mafia run warehouse. Bolting out of the dark going, no, don't me! Really suddenly. Making them as large a target as possible.

Waving their arms around. Like they're a goalie, making themselves so big. Just leaping out and screaming in the face of an edgy... An armed policeman who, everyone knows, is under a time crisis. He's panicked. And most people who pop out, he does have to shoot. I say stay behind the barrel. He will never see you because he's on these weird tracks.

He's in a weird little cart, yeah. It's fine. Well, we've had our own time crisis and we've run out of time. Oh, no. Time crisis. The crisis has claimed us too. Put in another quid everyone is there no one safe from

this crisis to replay this bud pod level yeah slot in a quid see if you can win enough tokens that's it yeah I mean I don't have anything to plug other than please keep an eye

out for whenever I do release the film special it won't be for a little bit go do the edits and so on but but when it comes out i want i want everyone creating an artificially high number of views reality means nothing to me anymore i just want the propaganda victory yes pod buds please let's all start um a sort of open source bot network and view like a russian like a view farm yeah yeah a streaming like from the philippines yeah

the bud pod view farm okay great well you guys get to work on that um yeah and i'll see all see all guys around see you guys on the tour yes see you guys there bye