BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 137 - Peppercorn Correspondence: Bionic Wang

Episode Date: November 10, 2021

Correspondence special! The boys discuss mowing, Phil's bionic arm, six packs, vaccine hesitancy, hungover Remembrance schoolboys, Last Post bugles, in-jokes and the SHAME of LEARNING Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Si vous faites vos achats tout en travaillant, en mangeant ou même en écoutant ce balado, alors vous connaissez et aimez l'excitation du magasinage. Mais avez-vous ce frisson d'obtenir le meilleur deal? Les membres de Rakuten, eux, oui. Ils magasinent les marques qu'ils aiment et font d'importantes économies, en plus des remises en argent. Et vous pouvez aussi commencer à gagner des remises en argent dans vos magasins préférés, comme Old Navy, Best Buy et Expedia, et même cumuler les ventes et les remises en argent dans vos magasins préférés comme Old Navy, Best Buy et Expedia. Et même cumulez les ventes et les remises en argent.

C'est facile à utiliser et vous obtenez vos remises par PayPal ou par chèque. L'idée est simple. Les magasins paient Rakuten pour leur envoyer des gens magasinés. Et Rakuten partage l'argent avec vous sous forme de remise. Téléchargez l'application gratuite Rakuten et ne manquez jamais un bon deal. Ou allez sur rakuten.ca pour en avoir plus pour votre argent. C'est R-A-K-U-T-E-N. Humvee Heaven. Humvee Heaven. Is the name of my new car shop. And we only sell enormous Humvees. I tell you what,

COP26 has been terrible for us. Come on down to Humvee Heaven. Do you think that people who sell Humvees should do like what firearms sellers do in America every time there's a huge outrage? And they just quickly go, quick, they're going to take them. They're definitely going to take them now. And then the sales go through the roof. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably. Panic buy a Humvee. That's our business model at Humvee Heaven. There's nothing I can think of that is more American than panic buying a Humvee. That's our business model at Humvee Heaven. There's nothing I can think of that is more American than panic buying a Humvee. Apparently it's all Schwarzenegger's fault, the Humvee.

Oh really? Because it's like a Humvee is like a US military vehicle and he got like a modified one he was driving around because he was just all massive and an action hero and I think he popularized it. I don't think it was really a thing. I think in large part it's Schwarzenegger's fault.

And I think he's sort of said, you know, I regret it or whatever. Is there something... I regret it. Is there something much funnier in a low-effort Schwarzenegger impression given how many people do a high-effort one?

Oh, yeah. Depressed Schwarzenegger is a hilarious character. I regret it. I regret it. What have I done? What have I done? Also, apologies, listeners. There is someone...

There's a man a mowing outside my Flat Well it's 12 days of Christmas Pierre And this is the first day One man a mowing One man a mowing I don't think mowing the lawn Mowing a big patch of grass is very autumnal

Is it Well no apparently it doesn't grow very According to A man who mowed my garden well no apparently it doesn't grow very according to a man who mowed my garden which is not a euphemism or maybe it is he said because it's winter now it's getting cold

the grass is going to slow down on the old growth there it's more of a summer activity I would say mowing yeah the sound of people mowing the lawn is a classic summer sound and this guy I just had a look he's mowing the lawn but like the lawn it's like a patch of grass

big grass like square thing and he's mowing it but it's like he's mowing it through the leaves like he doesn't give a fuck he's just like mowing over the leaves yeah like he's had a breakdown yeah he's not in mowing over the leaves. Yeah. Like he's had a breakdown. Yeah, he's not in it for the love of it.

That man doesn't love to mow. He's not in it for the mowing. He's not in it for the mowing. Did you know? The sound of lawn mowing for me is also the sound of an FBI informant living under protection with a new identity. He's mowing his lawn. Whenever I see a man mowing his lawn

I'm always like he's under protection. He's informed on the mob. A guy mowing his lawn in dark sunglasses and a low baseball cap. Have you seen that enormous mafia trial that's going on in italy right now i i see i think i saw when they all got arrested a few weeks ago yeah well 70

were sentenced or something like 70 individual mafia members it's like it's the biggest trial for decades that's a whole family yeah well well so the italian mafia is not really like single it's not really run by single families and more than like huge co-ops essentially of this one has like 150 like 50 families i mean like lots and lots of different families but all under single umbrella mafia corporation and and it's a lot of the work's been done by this one chief investigator who's been living in police protection for 20 years. Bloody hell. Imagine having the balls of that guy. That guy doesn't give a fuck.

You know what's amazing? 20 years I'll live in fear because I just need to take out the entire Italian mafia. The original mafia. The actual mafia. Yeah, not Italian, the entire Italian mafia. The original mafia. The actual mafia. Yeah, not something that we call the mafia. I'm in Italy and it's them. It's not a Twitter mob. It's the mob.

When they do a pylon, they do it with bullets. I just think, like, fucking hell hell the balls on this guy like I think from time to time I think I make the world a better place I do my bit for society I make people smile I wouldn't give up 20 years of freedom

to take down a group of people famous for torture and murder. Do you think, though, that if you're under police protection, they have to do your shopping for you and stuff? Because I might do it for them. Yeah, that's true, actually. Yeah.

That could be all right. All the donuts you want. All the donuts you can eat. I always read, when you read about like these mafia guys who often have been on the run since like the early 90s or the 80s sometimes cartel guys have it as well

and they just like move from safe house to safe house and they always say like oh yeah he spent 15 years being brought you know pasta or whatever in this fucking safe house with like no windows and like a tiny courtyard that's so it has to be a courtyard of a building that where the walls of the courtyard and the building are so high that you can only see in from like directly above it and often there's

not even that courtyard and there's like yeah i spent 15 years like that no windows never left and you just think is it worth is it worth all the hundreds of millions i know it's like you've made you've made 50 million dollars from cocaine yeah you you can't you have to live it in a hole like is it worth it yeah is it still balanced out right yeah you you're yeah you're you're one of the you're technically secretly one of the richest men in the world but you live like a hikamori in Japan who lives with his mum or like just a lonely guy who's like 40 and just plays

anime dating games all day like that's essentially you but you're more horrible than him that's the only thing you have over him you're more horrible than him yeah you have a net negative influence on the whole world because you still you still have people fucking murdered from your hidey hole hidey hidey hidey hole hey pierre you know how i've injured my arm right

yes yes i've been given as part of my physiotherapy i've been given this device I've been given, as part of my physiotherapy I've been given this device called a Compex and it it gives me small electrocutions in my muscles to stimulate them oh yeah I've just hooked myself up, I've hooked my arm up

right now, sat at this table I've got like these pads it's basically like, I feel like Frankenstein's monster basically, I've got these pads two across my bicep, two across my bicep and two across my tricep. And they send little electric pulses through your muscles, and it bypasses your brain's

electric signals. And it just gets your muscles to go like that. Move. Like a frog's leg in science class. And it's supposed to be good for your arm because it gets the blood flowing and stuff. Because I'm using my right arm less So I'm using science to keep my right arm

Active With science So I'm just gonna So if you hear a little If it's noisy I won't I'll stop it You've become Mechateen

Mechateen. Mechateen! The power of a thousand wanks! Okay, here we go. Oh! Yeah, it's quite weird when you start the electric pulses at first. It feels very unnatural. Ugh! I remember you can buy those, right?

But you put the electrodes on your stomach and just all day it's doing that to your abs and it's supposed to give you abs yeah that's right yeah do you think that i mean the reason that people have abs is because like they have to be visible right it's low body fat that gives you abs low body fat but also like those individual muscles have been targeted so intensely that they start to push out yes yeah between the sinews so they get the shape right yeah but then you get like did you ever have those guys in your year at school who were like when you were like 14 and they they were just built like fucking

scarecrows but they had six packs yeah i always hated those guys it's like you haven't done anything you just but that's what i mean is, like, the real thing should be like, okay, yeah, put this electric robot on your stomach, but also you need 3% body fat. Or whatever it is. Yeah. Some tiny percent. Yeah, I'd love to pop these on my abs and just get, like...

Just get, like, this ripped six-pack, but that is sort of distended over a round belly. Wouldn't that be horrible? Like you've painted it on. Wouldn't that be gross? It would be really funny if you went in and they were like, your arm doesn't seem to have healed at all, and you're there with a glistening six-pack,

and you're like, hmm. And a ripped penis yeah a penis that looks like how your arm should look and you're just like that's strange you're using your new arm penis to hold your chin that's strange hmm

well I've been putting it on my arm I don't know what to tell you um how long do you have to wait 23 minutes roughly 24 minutes how many weeks of this bionic 23 minutes bionic wang well i guess until i get better until i'm able until i have the power of a thousand wanks! Yeah. It's really weird because it's like your body not being able... It's like your body can't control itself, but if you pump...

And it's up to you to pump up the current, which is quite terrifying. So you could make it go all the way up, like... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It goes... Like, I'm on, like, two and stuff now, and it feels a bit yeah yeah yeah you can it goes like i'm on like two and stuff now it feels a bit weird and you can go up to 999 oh oh these would be so good on like a these would be so good on like a stag do where you have to try and down drink your drink while

this thing is going blah on your arm that would be great, man. Oh, God. It feels unnatural and weird. Apparently it's good for me. Oh, my arm's really going now. It's like jiggling back and forth. Oh, God. It's really weird.

How long before you do just pop it on your knob? I guess your knob's not a muscle. I don't think I'll ever get bored enough that I'm going to electrocute my dick, to be honest. Well, your dick's not a muscle, so you'd have to put the electrodes around maybe the base or something. Well, you have to put it at the beginning and further down the muscle so the electric pulse current goes through the muscle

and stimulates it, you see. Yeah. You have to find the spots. By the way, if you hear booping and beeping, that's me turning the power up on my own electrocution like like i've been sentenced to death in texas but uh but they don't have the budget for an execution and i've got to do it myself or just like texas has become texas has become so libertarian that people have to execute themselves. If you want to electrocute yourself,

you can do it. I don't want no government coming and telling me how many amps of electricity I can pass through my body. Okay? That's between me and God. I don't want no federale coming down here from

Washington telling me how many kilojoules I can reroute through my dick. It's between a man and his wife. I like the idea of a really outspoken libertarian fetishist. That's a really good character.

That is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sex positivity is a human right. I don't know. What is it? Ain't nothing wrong with furries.

As long as they got a gun. Buddy, you think you're a wolf? That's fine by me. As long as you leave me to my gimp box. Do you remember, there was a period you and me was getting a lot of tweets

From like These dog fetishists They wear these sort of plastic Dog outfits with leashes and stuff Oh, the pup play The pup play people It wasn't me, was it you? Or was it someone else?

I think it was me I got some fan tweets Just a tweet from time to time they say real funny on live with Apollo or whatever I was like something weird about this look at the profile picture and there's a guy in a dog gimp suit yeah

I remember this now I guess that you know pop players need a laugh as well but it was funny that they were using it was using their fetish account just to be like a great set the other night anyway cheers just nothing to do with the fetish it's like um yeah i remember that because i remember like the the profile picture from a distance when it's still like the little profile icon you think what is that anubis yeah is that the dog-headed god Anubis?

Yeah, he looked a lot like Anubis. A-A-A-A-A-Nu- Anube. A nude. Hmm, is there a porny name that you can work with Anubis? A nude bish. What's a bish? A bish is a...

Like a bitch. Yeah, like a... Yeah, that works in a dog context. A nude bish. Nice. Yeah, there we go. Okay, there we go. A nude bitch is... Like a bitch. Yeah, like a... Yeah, that works in a dog context. A nude bish. Nice. Yeah, there we go. Okay, there we go. A nude bitch.

I think a nude bitch is fine. A nude bitch. A nude bitch. Yeah. Okay, we're up to 10 on the bicep. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like... Bud Pod's become like Howard Stern.

We got Phil Wang electrocuting himself over here. How's it going, Phil? Like the funny little pranks they do on each other. American radio shows. I'm going to move the pads on the bicep because it doesn't seem to be that intense. Maybe I'll move it down a little bit. Yeah.

Could you do an experiment and maybe electrocute yourself in such a way that you get one incredibly firm and strong buttock? I mean, theoretically, I suppose I could. Yeah. Put them on your tits. Get big square tits. big square tits phil was so obsessed with what electrocuting himself what phil got so obsessed with what he could electrocute he didn't stop to think about what he should electrocute

oh god that's weird that's weird oh god i'm on a bad spot oh god that was weird i had a weird thing go through my arm there okay i'm moving it back i... I'm not sure if this is nonsense, you know. I don't know if you have the anatomical knowledge required to correctly target the muscle groups, do you? You need to get a diagram or something. This is it. I was just told to target the fleshy bits. And what about your arm, etc.?

Oh, oh, oh, okay, that's it. We were all told to target the fleshy bits, Phil, when we were at school in sixth health class. Well, while I'm getting electrocuted, shall we do a correspondence special, Pierre? We should and we must and we will. If you make your purchases while working, eating or even listeningant ce balado,

alors vous connaissez et aimez l'excitation du magasinage. Mais avez-vous ce frisson d'obtenir le meilleur deal? Les membres de Rakuten, eux, oui. Ils magasinent les marques qu'ils aiment et font d'importantes économies, en plus des remises en argent. Et vous pouvez aussi commencer à gagner des remises en argent dans vos magasins préférés, comme Old Navy, Best Buy et Expedia, et même cumuler les ventes et des remises en argent dans vos magasins préférés comme Old Navy, Best Buy et Expedia, et même cumuler les ventes et les remises en argent. C'est facile à utiliser et vous obtenez vos remises par PayPal ou par chèque.

L'idée est simple. Les magasins paient Rakuten pour leur envoyer des gens magasinés. Et Rakuten partage l'argent avec vous sous forme de remise. Téléchargez l'application gratuite Rakuten et ne manquez jamais un bon deal. Ou allez sur rakuten.ca pour en avoir plus pour votre argent. C'est R-A-K-U-T-E-N. Correspondance. Correspondence As I electrocute myself Give me my

As I electrocute myself Pierre Give me my last meal Of correspondence Yes of course Yes of course We've got a little message From Pete Pete How sweet We've got a little message from Pete.

Pete! How sweet. The feet of Pete. How sweet. So Pete has done something quite strange, I think, which is to send us an email, but the story is like a different email that he's attached with a PDF. Okay, so he's written like a public apology on Twitter. He's written it on a different format.

Yeah, it's like Inception. He sent us some Inception correspondence. Okay. So the first layer of the email says, Dearest Buds, I hope you both... I just sent it on a Pete DF. Ooh. A Pete DF? a Pete DF. Ooh, a Pete DF,

a Pete DF, uh, dearest buds. I hope you're both surviving the mundane realities, uh, of lockdown slash pandemic. Who knew global crisis could be so dull. I've been a huge fan of the show praise redacted.

It occurred to me. I have my own rancid story to share. I hope you enjoy, um, all the best Koji Pete. So here we go. The, the it's, it's budpodstory.pdf which is good and organized guy peters it's entitled the last post oh i didn't like the last post yes oh yeah which can be played on trumpet without using any of the valves.

Oh. The whole point is it's all overtones. I think it was for, yeah, so it used to be played with a bugle, which doesn't have, is it? Bugle? Yeah, bugle, yeah. It doesn't have valves. So it's just overtones on the one setting.

So C, G, C, G, C, D, G. i can't remember now i've never heard the word overtones used in a musical sense so you're already beyond me oh right okay he says dear philaria and pu-erh pu-erh philaria is that like diarrhea i guess

i guess it has to be. Okay. Yeah. Some years ago, within the walls of a boarding house in an undisclosed English public school within a quaint village setting. Okay. Nice. I awoke after a night of misguided

underage drinking. Yeah. I always went on guidedguided underage drinking. Yeah. I always went on guided nights of underage drinking. Yeah. With a Sherpa, a Nepalese guy, would walk us through the town. Yeah, yeah. He's sort of pointing to pubs and he'd say, in there

is booze and food. And we'd go, wow, so wise. He can just tell. We don't have those eyes, you know. We can't see. He knows this Wetherspoon like the back of his hand. His people have drunk from this Wetherspoon for generations. They know it like no one else.

There is research that his lungs have adjusted to the air in Wetherspoons. one else. There is research that his lungs have adjusted to the air in Wetherspoons. He actually can't smell any of the piss anymore. If he

doesn't drink two and a half percent real ale before it goes off, just before it goes off, he actually gets very sick. He needs it. A W weatherspoon sherpa yeah so uh he says i could just about through my agony make out the sound of my house master chuckling amusedly to himself as he closed the door to the dorm leaving me to stew in the secondhand stench of glenn's vodka kebabs cigarettes and sorrow oof boy boy boy boy his wrath would come

later his wrath his wrath yeah this is a pretty cool house master isn't it to be like ooh someone had a big night oh no but he's gonna come back and disperse wrath

okay okay here we go okay after a few drawn out moments and self pitying moments it dawned on me that today was and disperse wrath. Okay, okay, here we go. Okay. After a few drawn-out moments and self-pitying moans, it dawned on me that today was Remembrance Sunday. Ah. This meant by virtue of... Ah.

Yes. This meant by virtue of my membership in this institutionalized hive of middle classery, obligatory attendance to a large Remembrance service, which would culminate in a jolly parade down the road into our local union jack-laden market town. What could possibly go wrong?

After a further spell of wallowing in self-pity, I decided there was no way in fuck I was dragging my sorry state down to the school chapel. Skipping the service alone seemed disrespectful enough to the memories of the war dead. Running the risk of spontaneously exploding out of both ends like a I think that's fair enough. Yeah. Yeah, although maybe fitting for a sort of scatological reenactment of the conditions at the Somme.

For a man to explode in mud would be very appropriate, actually. As I lay staring at the spinning ceiling, I was in no doubt that the risk of this happening was strikingly real. And then came the fateful decision. I quickly began to crave sustenance. Images of various savoury, hangover-vanquishing snacks and thirst-quenching beverages consumed me. Co-op? La la. Mafia run, perhaps? So he's going to cook it himself?

He didn't say that. Okay. He said he just wants snacks from the co-op. Snacks? For me, I can't have snacks If I'm really hungover I need like a hot lump of grease Like Full English

Or actually, best of all, dim sum Dim sum is the best hangover food And no one knows it but me But the trouble is, Phil This guy's under 18 He's this guy this guy's under 18 you know he's still at school he's still got that bounce back right i think he could do it with snacks um you just do it with a bag of watsits yeah yes thus i resolved uh i managed to sneak out of the school grounds without incident or discovery following a route which enabled

constant hedgerow access in case of involuntary leakage. I arrived at my destination and scurried inside, assuming that I would soon feel cured. To this day, I have no idea why, in the place of water and other sensible items of food, I opted for, one, a litre of chocolate milk. You make such weird decisions when you're hungover. A liter of chocolate milk. You make such weird decisions when you're hungover. Every time I've ever seen chocolate milk and gone, God, I could really drink some chocolate milk.

Within a sip at home, I've gone, This is gloopy and syrupy. I remember remember as a kid thinking it's so 90s chocolate milk i remember as a kid thinking oh the perfect drink has been invented and is this yeah i think once you're an adult or especially if you anytime you're in the mood for chocolate milk you're actually in the mood for something else it's like when you're pregnant people crave charcoal or whatever it's actually your body wants something else. Don't fall for it. So, one, a liter of chocolate milk.

Two, a packet of cocktail sausages. That makes more sense. Yes, yes, yes. That I can get on board with for sure. That's quite clever, actually. Although the coldness wouldn't satisfy me. Look, whatever. This is Pete's story. Let him tell his truth. He can microwave those, whereas a boarding house, he's not

going to be there in the boarding house cooking a big meal. I was thinking of a uni student situation. No, no, no. This is a school boarding house. A microwave is conceivable, but nothing more. Three. Soft mints times one.

That is mad. Soft mints? Soft mints is in one word. You know, like Trevor Soft Mints. That is mad. Soft mints? Soft mints, as in one word, you know, like Trevor Soft Mints, chewy instead of powdery. Oh, okay, okay, that is crazy. That is really nuts. I guess maybe for your breath, if you think you stink of vodka? And cigarettes, yeah.

I collapsed onto a bench outside the fateful co-op and began to inhale my chosen snacks. Very quickly quickly I realized that this combination of ingredients to what already lay within had the effect of casually popping a mento into a bottle of coke with far more disastrous

consequences panic stricken I began trotting along the high street hoping to get out of sight before disaster struck I didn't make it far however and just about managed to get my hand to my face as i explosively vomit explosively vomited a chocolate milk dominated liquid yeah yeah so he just made made a colander with his fingers it's just like yeah because what when you do that instinctively you cover your mouth when you vomit what is the logic there that you're just going to that you're just going to vomit a sort of palmful and you'll catch it in your hand and put it in

the bin yeah or like you'll you'll vomit like through your hand like a little flute you'll pipe it away somehow i guess you have to appear as if you're making some effort to save everyone. Yeah. The only people I've ever seen not put a hand anywhere near their face when they vomit are the very drunk or the extraordinarily homeless. Sure. Where they just go, my life is at the point now where this just needs to happen and I don't care anymore. Yeah. So yeah, you're right. I think most people hand goes near the face at least um or on the stomach as if to

indicate an oh no i when i'm about to vomit i put my palm to my forehead as to make a sort of oh boy gesture as I vomit. As if you're watching yourself vomit. Oh, look at that guy. Yeah. To semi-use one of Glenn Moore's amazing jokes, it would be very funny to vomit with your hands on your hips. Arms crossed. arms crossed

like a Russian like a Russian dancing guy like a Cossack so he puts his hand in front of his explosive chocolate milk vomit the deluge hit my hand at such an impact with such force that it rebounded in all directions, covering

me from face and hair to my now ruined shoes. Oh boy. Unremembrance day as well. In perfect synchronization my bowels gave way. God. Wow. Wow. As you go

and as you think, oh no, it's in my hair you just shit yourself. This brings us back to the Chinese saying, 桑偶瞎吐. 桑偶瞎吐. Yeah. 桑偶瞎吐. You're vomiting and shitting at the same time.

God damn. Which I don't think happened. Huh? It does. I didn't think it actually happened in the real world. I thought it was an old Chinese legend, a myth. It does. I didn't think it actually happened in the real world.

I thought it was an old Chinese legend, a myth. You thought it was something that one of the original emperors claimed he could do. Well, you know the story. The way that he discovered tea and brought it to the kingdom of heaven, the heavenly kingdom. And, of course, he could vomit and shit at the same time. He says, I don't know how long I stood in this very public space, processing my situation and planning my next move. I also don't know how I didn't hear

their approach. Raising my gaze, I beheld a drum-beating column of patriotic remembrance barreling past me. And the shocked look of its participants as they passed. Naturally, i ran without looking back spewing as i went koji pete oh very good man lest we forget pete lest we forget that time you exploded yeah from the top and bottom i mean as as people say in response to to some of the poppy shaming,

I mean, they fought for your freedom to do that to yourself, Pete. So, you know. Yeah, that's true. And I've got friends who are in the military or were in the military, and I think that I can confidently say that almost every one of them at some point will have been tremendously hung over for an important parade. For sure. Probably for an important battle. You know, you're

marching through France, all that lovely wine. I wonder how many... God. That's a thought. I wonder how many soldiers in the Second World War fought hungover. Really hungover Like really hungover It must have been quite a regular thing to happen

I don't know I mean they didn't get Only the navy got issued with booze They got their rum But if you're marching through France Port Yeah but they were There's always wine hanging around

Yeah but it was like Belgian border you know It was quite far north Okay You could be given it I suppose by But like They can't be dishing you out bottles all the time it's all war effort stuff isn't it they're probably all rationing shit i don't know yeah maybe yeah i wouldn't want to be i wouldn't want to be hung

over at the psalm my great-grandfather was at the psalm phil oh wow yeah what do you think what do you think of the place um he he was a sergeant uh and in the second south african infantry and i apparently he would always talk about he captured some german trenches um on two or three occasions and he said every time they captured a german trench it was kind of great because the German trenches had like concrete flooring and often had electricity and stuff. They were amazing. They were just amazing, like way better. Yeah, god, sweet.

That's why I say if I visit a friend's new place and it's really nice and tidy and well designed, I'm like, wow, there's like a German trench in here. Yeah. design i'm like wow it's like a german trench in here yeah um let's see this is let's see aha okay my triceps really going now is it? it's shaking about yeah

um pump some more oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we got an email from Hayley Hayley um hmm

the eh hmm emails daily email I was gonna say daily the Hayley daily would be a good newspaper. It actually reminded me of...

I was walking through Chinatown with our friend George from Daphne. And there's a sign. The sign that's actually in the windows of a lot of Chinese restaurants. And that says Dim Sum Daily. Because they serve dim sum every day and george said that sounded like a chinese newspaper dim sum daily or like uh if the diver tom daily got really into chinese food old dim sum daily over there or like oh no that's what you call someone who

loves dim sum so much that they just dive into it and eat like a pig all right dim sum daily that's me on a hangover um yeah you're a dim sum daily. Went on a hangover. So, Hayley says, Dear Philly the Pooh and Pierre shit. What are these plays on? Philly the Pooh?

Winnie the Pooh. Winnie the Pooh, yeah, okay. And Pierre shit. Piglet? Right, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I mean... We'll have to assume that's it yeah yeah that's that was a tough that's a tough one to translate um i regret to say i'm a pistorian no one has been candid enough to regret it yet but thank you for your honesty

hayley don't get me wrong i'm glad to have stumbled upon Budpod, which has provided much joy despite the occasional sense of repulsion. The issue here is that I started listening from episode one on the same day that your 100th episode was released, and by 105, I was fully caught up. Wow. Wow.

A grueling march. Gosh. Talk about the Somme. That's an aural Somme. Yeah. For sure. I was fully caught up. Take from that what you will.

But personally, I worry what the sheer amount of poo stories does to the human psyche in such a short time. I was hooked by the Gina Martin episode. Episode two. Ah, yes. I think. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I think. Yes, yeah. Yeah, we thought it could be like a sort of magazine interview show. We're still figuring it out.

At which point the pod was shaping up to be informative yet entertaining. I think it's still that. Well, eventually we evolved the show to finally become neither. Oh, here we go. show to finally become neither. Yeah. Oh, here we go. Three, two, one. Oh, can you hear that? Oh, yeah.

The thing plays a little fun tune to say that I'm finished with my electrocution. I'm done electrocuting you. Boom, bing, bong. Yeah, but they also play this tune at the end of Executions in Texas, funnily enough. Texas okay here we go okay it's off it's alive

I was hooked by the Gina Martin episode at which point the pod was shaping up to be informative yet entertaining instead I have just relived the chaos of the last two years essentially from the perspective of someone who's constantly shitting their shorts I can't say I'm disappointed just slightly perturbed anyway perspective of someone who's constantly shitting their shorts i can't say i'm disappointed just slightly perturbed um anyway happy to say i'm three weeks post my first covid vaccine which

happened to be the oxford vaccine this is an old email by the way yeah it sounds like it presumably meaning i'm riddled with blood clots however i also happen to know that taking the birth control pill brings with it an increased risk of blood clots with a rate of roughly six in ten thousand people in uh significantly more than the supposed rate for the oxford vaccine this begs the question brings with it an increased risk of blood clots with a rate of roughly 6 in 10,000 people significantly more than the supposed rate for the Oxford vaccine this begs the question, does the EU not know anything about medicine or is it just because now people without a uterus

might be affected? Good, slam and even more satisfying to read Hayley knowing that they've had to do a big humiliating U-turn The EU yes, yes, yes uh that whole astros astrazeneca thing that was the most pathetic almost made me a brexiteer the whole astrazeneca thing i did a i did a joke tweet where i said uh it was like two pictures and the first picture

was like a picture of that crazy eu guy who's a pro eu guy who's still camps outside parliament shouting stop brexit yeah right so there's a picture of guy who still camps outside parliament shouting stop brexit yeah right so there's a picture of him and i was like captioned that one me 99 of the time and then the second picture was nigel farage pulling a face and then it was me when the eu unjustly criticizes the vaccine or whatever yeah right just a joke but um two two fairly prominent um uh quite tedious comedians unfollowed me over there wow yeah when i say fairly prominent i'm talking like radio for prominent not like national legends right they've unfed over that joke and and are these prominent comedians you call them on like the

pro you I guess I mean they're definitely pro you but I would say they're the kind of people who like 99% of their tweets are just like quote tweeting stuff saying this or going God it's a

disgrace like they're not you know they're not fun people but yeah I thought that was very... Big overreaction. Very silly. Very silly. Even to pretend to be Nigel Farage, even as a joke, was too much, Phil.

These people couldn't cope with that level of assault anymore. Taking a flight caused a greater risk of blood clots than the AstraZeneca vaccine. I think mad. Yeah. Mad. Um,

so, uh, Haley says, I feel obliged to end with most uncool, cool thing inside jokes. Yes, that's a good one. That's a really good one.

That's good. If, if you're inside them so much fun, if you're outside them, the most obnoxious, lame thing in the fucking world. Incomprehensible and unbearable. Unbearable.

I think fundamentally it's unbearable to watch other people enjoy themselves when you aren't. Maybe this is just specific to me. That might be quite specific to you. It's not only you That's a very you thing to say But yeah an inside joke is sort of the ultimate form of that I remember A really specific detail

That always pops into my head regarding inside jokes Or like movie references From an episode of Recess Oh I remember Recess Holy shit references from an episode of Recess oh I remember Recess holy shit that's a good cartoon Recess TJ well that's the main guy right TJ

Gretel Gretchen Gretchen yeah Spinelli Spinelli I wonder what those kids are doing now ah they're all dead. They've come to the big recess in the sky. Yeah, that's it.

Permanent recess for them. There's an episode where one of the characters... There's a movie, a big movie, a silly comedy movie comes out. And it's essentially like Anchorman, right? Uh-huh. And everyone watches it and loves it.

And this one kid, one of the main characters, I can't remember which one, either isn't allowed to go see it or like misses out on seeing it. And they're just like, it's unbearable torture because all day people are like

saying quotes from it and everyone's laughing and they're just like, I don't understand. And it just, i remember at one point they're just um standing around doing something and one of them says no more gravy well pardon my ladle and everyone laughs and they just clutch their head and scream and run out that's a good show and in my head now that's every end joke is no more gravy well pardon my ladle what scene was that in the film it's such a good line

well pardon my ladle well pardon my ladle and film with what we know now about who ends up writing all the best kids tv and stuff we know that that person was probably uh a stand-up comedian or in a punk band or God knows. Yeah, they've been writing it from a very adult highly experienced place. So no wonder it was a good line.

If anyone knows who wrote that line, then let us know. I mean, it's a stretch, Pierre. It's a stretch. It's a reach. It's a reach. If anyone knows who wrote one. It's a reach. It's a reach. If anyone knows who wrote one specific line in a cartoon show I'd forgotten about until Pierre mentioned it just then, do write in. Do write in. We'll really appreciate that.

Or I'll just Google it. The worst part of when you're sort of on the perimeter of an inside joke and people are laughing their heads off. And you do that pathetic... And we mentioned this before. What's this? What's this? Sorry. What's this? What's this?

And someone just takes a break from their laughing to go, Oh, it's nothing. That bit makes me want to kill everyone in the room. There's nothing worse. I don't think we covered this on the What's This episode, but I was going to say there's nothing worse than where it's like,

normally the person saying What's This inherently feels a bit lower status, right? Yeah. But it's also agonizing when you and the friend who's done an in-joke and you laugh, the person saying What's This is already higher than you? Is someone you're trying to impress or someone you admire? That's much worse.

Interesting. Because then you try your absolute best to get them in on the joke. Yeah. And you go, no, it's really funny. So there was this guy and he used to... So when we lived... So we lived near this Turkish restaurant and you can just see them

their eyes glazing over you can see they've also made the decision that well I've got myself into this I have to at least hear this out yeah and then if they're kind they'll go oh ha ha ha ha like a kind of nominal

like a peppercorn rent of a laugh and then uh peppercorn rent yeah so a peppercorn rent is when you charge someone rent for something but it's like one peppercorn a year that's what it's called a peppercorn i'm you've never heard this phrase a peppercorn rent so it's a phrase where like... You've dreamt this. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. If like land is held in trust and it's like the queen will let the people

have this library, but for one P a year, like that's referred to as a peppercorn rent because there has to legally be a rent charged because it means that you're not giving up your rights as the person who owns the property, but you're not enforcing a rent on anyone either. It's just nominal.

Like, you know how sometimes... It's like the rent equivalent of when sometimes a CEO takes like a $1 a year salary. Yeah, sure, sure, sure. Yeah, and it used to be like... An example of that would be a single peppercorn a year. Or a month. Nice.

Because people could pay for stuff in peppercorns because pepper was rare and delicious. I can now never use that phrase, peppercorn rent, on TV or something because when I do, any pod buds who see it will go, I know the episode of Phil learnt that phrase. So I now can never use it. Why can't you use it?

Because it'd be too embarrassing because I will say it on a TV show as if I've always known the phrase and any pod pod watching will go I'm a fucking idiot I can pinpoint the episode where he learned that phrase so you think in your head you'll be on TV and you'll say it

and then distantly as if from the car park you'll hear someone TV and you'll say it and then distantly, as if from the car park, you'll hear someone going, You're a fraud! You're a fraud! That's how my mind works. Doesn't yours work that way? No! Like, I wasn't born knowing the phrase, you know. Right.

You've got to learn it somewhere. People should be able to pinpoint the moment you learn something. Only you would want people to know that you'd never learned anything or that you'd learned stuff in private, like wanking or shitting. I learned everything in the womb, Pierre, okay? On my own. You never knew that phrase before you learned it oh fuck they're on to me oh shit it would just it would just be embarrassing i'm just picturing it now

so if you if you i'm on roast battle and i've somehow you somehow worked the phrase peppercorn rent into my roast into my my roast of, I don't know, Jeff Goldblum. Well, you say, let's just say that I live in Jeff Goldblum's head, not rent-free, but at a peppercorn rent. I pay a peppercorn rent in Jeff Goldblum's

head. Yeah. And he'll get a huge laugh in the room, obviously. Obviously. But then there'll be Podb buzz watching at home going pierre taught him that in episode 137 no um jeff goldblum will turn to look at you and his eyes will glint menacingly and in that moment i'll go jeff's a pod bud oh no that's i thought i heard him say koji when we shook hands, but I wasn't sure and I couldn't check.

I thought he was just making a wacky Jeff Goldblum noise, but he was saying Koji. Oh shit! And his eyes flash and he turns to you and says, oh, where'd you learn that? And the whole

audience goes quiet, because they all know as well. This is exactly why I can never use peppercorn rent. I feel like I've made my point now. Look, you've made a compelling case for the risks involved. So Hayaley was saying, regarding inside jokes, I can't help but, I couldn't help but think, oh no, sorry,

okay, most uncool cool thing, inside jokes, after listening to over 100 hours of Bud Pod in a matter of weeks, I can't help but think I had no choice but to start from the beginning, lest I miss the conception of a critical inside joke. Fair enough, yeah. Yeah, that's interesting, yeah, yeah, and that's the reason I would also feel compelled to start at the beginning lest i miss the conception of a critical inside joke fair enough yeah that's interesting yeah yeah and that's the reason i would also feel compelled to start at this beginning

yeah sure we feel cool having a secret collection of words and phrases that relate to a funny moment although no one can remember how it started but we will always sound crazy to some degree in the presence of people not in on it not only that but how annoying when you're in a group of people who almost talk exclusively in inside jokes that you don't understand yeah that's that's that's dreadful and those people are bad people i think yeah i think pod but like actually for a podcast hours it's relatively inside joke free i

feel like you could more or less jump in at any point and you won't be excluded from too much i think ours is ours has got references but like i think like if if in an episode we go oh like the joker or we always say everything's like the joker then immediately you already you can go you can laugh at that because it's already explained by virtue of mentioning it right so that's kind of fine there are some other inside joke references, but we don't lean on them. We're not reliant.

Yeah. Or like even before, like when you brought up what's this as a concept, you sort of said, oh, like the other episode, but then you just said what it was. So all good, I'd say. Coolest uncool thing, says the earth Oh very clever Yeah she's got you

Very clever At COP26 as well Very perfectly timed She says think global warming Leading to global cooling See also Texas Very nice Also we failed to mention

The serendipity of reading Pete's Remembrance Day story earlier or tomorrow Remembrance Day is on the actual 11th it would be tomorrow when this comes out yes and then the Remembrance Sunday is

obviously on Sunday hence the name hence the name Remembrance the old Latin word for Sunday. That's right. Well, I was always doing stuff on that because, of course, throughout school, because I was very cool and popular, I was in the Army Cadet thing, the CCF. So we were always doing stuff. Right, doing stuff. Well, like a parade.

Like marching and saluting and you name it. Well, because I was part of the music people and I had a trumpet. I played the last post at one, at our Remembrance Day service. Did you? Yeah, and I played it quite badly because I wasn't very good. It's a lot of pressure. The trumpet, yeah. Because I wasn't very good.

It's a lot of pressure. The trumpet. Yeah. And a lot of, you know, a lot of people to offend the memory of with bad playing. Yeah. And I started off okay. Because that's easy. That's just CG, I think. Fine. fine but the thing about the trumpet is

the higher the note the harder it is to do yeah and at that point I started and I was like I can't I can't besmirch the memory of dead heroes during

my A levelslevels. And I just began miming on the trumpet. Just swinging it about my face. What do you mean miming? Like just holding the trumpet, pretending like I was playing, but I wasn't. It wasn't me alone playing. Oh, I was going to say you're not

going to get away with that Phil oh yeah that would have been bold if it was just me doing the last pose as a solo and I miss a couple of notes and just continue with just quietly I start doing different theme tunes

Just any World War 2 World War 1 stuff Okay so you were doing it as part of a whole big band I see Yeah there may be five of us it wasn't loads Yeah I'll never forget the I'll never forget the multiple times I watched

This is on the Isle of Man remember in the freezing wind and rain a quivering 14 year old brass instrument player tried to pop out the last post as we stood in front of the school cenotaph icy

icy wind it's a high pressure gig for sure yeah god I never envied it and i and i was happy to march people through a small village that was that was fine with me i would rather do that huh you led the march did you lead the march of the cadets yeah i directed it whoa wow you were into cadets yeah yeah man i did it for like uh five years or however long wow me and i've been the valley me and the pins ben ashenden are different schools yes wow i didn't know that i didn't know ben was in the cadets

i remember him telling me once at uni and it was when when i was like i must have been a fresher and he was a second year or something like that and it was a minor bonding moment of going ah you too uh uh odd enough to do that stomping around in my big boots phil clomp clomp that's right clomp clomp indeed and clomp clomp to all of you listening at home have I would say that's that's our time

have a good week yes listeners yep can't wait for you to listen again to listen again to us next week tell your friends

have a good remembrance what else I guess that's it yes if you're interested in learning more about the second world war I recommend any of the books by James Holland who's very good

he does a podcast with Al Murray oh yeah more about the Second World War, I recommend any of the books by James Holland, who's very good. He does a podcast with Al Murray on Second World War, which is very good. Al Murray put out a good little history, a very readable history book about the last hundred years. Yes, yeah. It's called The Last Hundred Years, Give or Take,

and all that, and it came out over lockdown. It's good, really good. Good overview of stuff. Give that a look, and otherwise, we'll see you next week. Si vous faites vos achats tout en travaillant, en mangeant ou même en écoutant ce balado, alors vous connaissez et aimez l'excitation du magasinage. Mais avez-vous ce frisson d'obtenir le meilleur deal? Les membres de Rakuten, eux'excitation du magasinage. Mais avez-vous ce frisson d'obtenir le meilleur deal? Les membres d'Horacuten, eux, oui.

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