BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 140 - BudPATREON!

Episode Date: December 1, 2021

Phil Wang and Pierre Novellie discuss being the oldest person in the world, getting aroused by 3D scenes and the new Patreon! Correspondence includes Phoebe's coma catchphrase and metal toe Joe. Sketch: BudPod NFTs. Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi everyone, it's Phil here from Budpod. Just a quick note to say GarageBand fucked up basically and told me I was recording through my microphone when in fact it was recording through its shitty little internal MacBook microphones. So I sound quite roomy in this episode but only for the half hour. No, only for the first, well only for the half hour. No, only for the first well, only for the whole episode. But I just want you to know, it's not a permanent issue. It's just my MacBook

fucked up. My GarageBand fucked up. Okay, enjoy. Bye-bye. It's BudPod 140. 140. 140, what a lovely number. Really neat. Really neat, I love that. Beautiful number.

140. 140. Mom, pour tea. I'm being a rude child, demanding tea from my mother. Mom, pour tea. I'm being a rude child, demanding tea from my mother. Mum, pour tea. Or snapping your mum out of her reverie, because it's finally happened. The Queen has come for tea.

Mum, pour tea for her man. Mum, pour tea, quick.ge. Mum, pour tea. Quick. I hope her madge is alright. Haven't heard from her in a while. Yes. Yes, she's probably as okay as such an incredibly old person can be. Hmm. I mean,

she's the healthiest ninety what, five year old person has ever been in history, surely. I mean, it's got to be. Outside of, like, Japan. I was about to say, every time it's like, the world's oldest person is 112,

and it's always, like, a tiny Japanese lady, and she looks like a raisin. Yeah. And she's the same size as a raisin, and she lives in the middle of nowhere in Japan. Yeah, and she looks like a raisin. Yeah. She's the same size as a raisin and she lives in the middle of nowhere in Japan. Yeah. And everyone's like, she's 112. Is that incredible? And you look at her and you just think, is that good?

Yeah. Is she happy to be? Is she pleased about this? It's always like the photo of them celebrating their 112th birthday is always like an enormous, like 50 family members because they have a hundred billion

grandkids or whatever. And this enormous cake just flaming with candles and then sat behind it as this kind of little raisin. But then, you know, it's Japan where sort of honorable suicide is very much part of the culture. So one has to assume that if someone reaches that age, they want to be that old.

That's true. Unless she's just gone so old she can't even harakiri anymore. She just doesn't have the joint strength she'd love to but she just can't pick up the katana but surely when you're that old you could commit harakiri

just by standing within a meter of an active microwave yeah, honorably falling down the stairs yes, and full regalia she she's taken an honorable fall she's had an honorable fall well do you think it may be in japan if you reach 112 it means that either you're the most or least honourable person. Okay, so you're the most honourable person because you've lived that long, but you're the least honourable person because you

have refused to perform Harakiri for the longest time. Yeah, well, you're either the most honourable because you haven't had to you've had no shame for over 100 years. Or you've had loads of shame, but you just don't give a fuck yeah it's one or the other isn't it and her family just sit around and looking at her wondering which one is it yeah because it was too long ago they don't know we're talking we're talking about someone who like when world war ii ended

they were still like they weren't even a teenager anymore they were kind of getting on with their life it's insane yeah yeah when world war ii ended they already had a driving license they they yeah they had an internship somewhere yeah exactly just insane an insane age to be but yeah the kids will have to just be like well obviously I mean we hope it's honourable but just anyone who can say otherwise

is just long dead so I mean it reminds me of that fact we discussed on this podcast before that Joe Biden didn't take part in the Vietnam War because he was too old. Oh, fuck, yeah, I forgot that. Jesus. That's old. That is so... I mean, that is, yeah.

If it's like a war where anyone who fought in it is already, you know, a pretty old guy, they all have grey hair and wrinkles and stuff now. And you're just like, no, it's a young man's game. That's fucking old. Yeah, it's too old. But not as old as any Japanese

granny. No, you can't get older than a Japanese nana. Japanana older than a Japanese Nana. Japanana. Than a Japanana. It's Japanana! With her powers of age! Can she defeat

Makateen? Yeah. Makateen's nemesis. Yeah. Makateen's worst enemy is Japanana. Who's this ancient Japanese woman who keeps telling him to stop wanking.

Go blind! Mekatine-san! Oh, Japanana, leave me alone! Get out of my bedroom, Japanana! It's an urban... He keeps trying to tell her it's an urban myth and she'll have none of it because she of course

grew up in the time of myth yes yeah to her that just sounds like someone saying a good thing yeah it was almost the age of gargoyles she's so old when she was a little girl her grandparents could remember the age of gargoyles she's so old when she grew up she when she was a little girl she her grandparents could remember the age of gargoyles gargoyles as it's called in there it was just before the eddo

period yeah yes every country has its own name for the age of gargoyles, of course. Do you think we're going to be called Elizabethans? Oh, interesting. No, no, surely not. It'd be too confusing. Because it's done now, isn't it? The first one gets that, and then after that, I don't know what you do. You have to just pick something else? I mean, the most recent age to be defined by its monarch was the Edwardian period, right? After that... Yeah.

After that, it was mid-century, then Cold War. Then it became wars, basically. From Second World War onward, it was sort of defined by wars. And then... And then... Well, there was the millennium, which is just defined by the number. And now I feel like we're into numbers. Is it just numbers?

I suppose the queen's perfect reign period is from when Abuma was born till now. Because she was only crowned in the 50s. So, like... Wait, wait, wait. So, did she take after right right so she replaced

King Edward she replaced King George because it was King Edward then the abdication oh

okay yeah because her father was George wasn't it you can never remember my

royal knowledge is so bad my english history is terrifying dire i mean i ask me anything about the gargoyle isu period in japan and i'll tell you but english history nothing um her predecessor george the sixth yes right Yeah, and we could call it period Georgian because there already was a Georgian period. Yeah. And there's already an Elizabethan period.

We can't call this one Elizabethan. Yeah, that's it. So we'll have to just be like post-war. Or like... Yeah, the latter half of the 20th century. Something like that. And also it can't be digital age because presumably the digital age is going to keep going until the end of the human species.

Yes, that would be a bit like saying the hair age now, wouldn't it? Yeah. It's like, well, we've got hair now, so let's not... Although arguably that could be the 80s, the hair age. The hair age, yeah. The hair age, yeah. A very, a very like, that's like something someone who hates the style of a period would sort of say about almost any 10 year period.

Like every age had different hairstyles and we're like, oh, I see we're in the hair age now are we? It's amazing that one of the things that was controversial about the Beatles was that they just had slightly long hair. Yeah, and they wore suits. It's like they wanted to make sure parents would be okay with them. They wore suits on stage.

Yeah, and they were just like, well, they're wearing suits, but look at those mop tops it's very strange to try and imagine it's almost verging on the whole thing where Victorians would put little like covers on table legs so that you didn't get too

horny looking at your own table oh fuck I forgot about that I mean that is insane that is some medieval era bullshit yeah I mean, that is insane. That is some medieval era bullshit. Yeah, I mean, just how repressed do you have to be to just be looking at table legs? That's one step away from just believing in witchcraft. Yes.

Like, you look at a table leg and you turn into a cartoon wolf with the big eyes, the long eyes. And you go, oh, and you have to hit yourself in the head with a mallet. Last night watching TV on my own, I was turned on by a 3D sex scene, and I

was so fucking embarrassed. No, you weren't. Which one? It was, do you know this series? It's like a sci-fi short film series on Netflix called Love, Death and Robots. Yes. It's quite good. And there's an episode where this guy gets marooned on this far-flung station in space. And he bumps into a gal he had a fling with a while ago,

and they start this sex scene. And at first, I just kind of laughed at myself. It was so silly. And it just reminded me of all those awkward video game sex scenes that I watched playing video games. And I was like, this is so dumb. But then I started getting a little bit hard and i was like no phil please come on no not at this come on and i thought i would say i reckon i got 40 of the way you know do you think yeah i think i've got a i think i've got a 40 percent uh well i can't say 40

percent semi because that's not mathematical but 40 percent um 40 percent erect american i got i need to hang on i'm trying to i'm trying to find this now it's very embarrassing so you essentially you you you were finally um like those pop-up ads you see sometimes where it's just like sexy sexy games yeah and you think what fucking loser is gonna waste the time there it turns out i could because i i gotta i gotta i'll push it to 50% I gotta send me I gotta send me watching to like not even very

not even very good computer graphic people bone each other I'm trying to I'm really trying to find it but it's not you'd think that Twitter

would have it right but it's not really showing me oh I think that Twitter would have it right, but it's not really showing me. Oh, I think I... Oh, what is that? Is that... No, that's not... That can't be it. Well, I'll figure it out.

Oh, I'll find it. If I can remember the episode. There's some YouTube links, a documentary creating the CG sex scene. Oh, really? Yeah. So clearly it was innovative. some YouTube links a documentary creating the CG sex scene. Oh, really? Yeah. So clearly it was innovative. I want to click it and I want there to be a guy going,

according to our estimates, the average viewer will get at least 40% hard with this new flesh jiggle technology. Well, the jiggle was quite good. The jiggle was quite good. The jiggle was quite good. And what I was most impressed at risk of sounding a bit profane, Pierre,

when... And female pod buds will obviously be able to attest. When the lady lies on her sides, her boobs take on a different shape because of the gravity they get pulled to the side in a way and they they taper in a way that and you kind of look at them and go oh that's not that's not the breast i recognize you know and and they've done this

they had got this exactly right after in the post-coital moments when the lady's lying on the side they do the the breast shape change and i was like that and i was like god that's impressive actually because that's something that can where these 3d sex scenes often fall down is that the boobs just look like they're 100 silicon on everyone but this one they they flopped they did the they did the side flop they did the correct side flop and i was like you know yeah i was like fair enough actually love that the robots this is kind of spot on they would have been like you're talking to some guy and you're like what are you doing i'm an animator i'm well i'm head of a team we work on um well we're mainly a tit-for-lop at the moment, but once that sequence is generated, we're going to be moved,

we're going to be transferred on to thigh jiggle. That's going to be the next big, it'll take a few months there. Okay, the episode is called Beyond the Aquila Rift. Aquila, A-Q-U-I-L-A, Rift. Beyond the Aquila Rift. It's a good episode, actually. It's a really good story.

It's a good sci-fi story. But it's the one with the sex scene in it. I'd be interested, Pierre, you don't have to do it now, but I'd be interested if you would watch the sex scene and see how you get on. Okay, maybe I'll watch it with one of those little triggers that they give people when you're watching debates. How much you're leaning towards either candidate. So I'll have one switch for into it and one switch for deeply unnerved.

do you think when they finally told the 3d animators that they were going to be making a sex scene that it was like um that was when the 3d animators all got to reveal the skills that they've definitely amassed by making their own 3d sex scenes over years yeah yeah this is it it was it was the animation skills equivalent of when a guy elbows a wooden panel in his house and uh uh the whole wall rotates and it's covered in guns and he's like take your pick i mean some of it did look like a sort of technical demonstration because there's a bit where she's like pours champagne all over her tits and like he sucks it off this is in 3d yeah this is like a 3d animation and it's like was this just a show that you can animate liquid on skin yeah it's we're a long way from toy story 2 and i just imagine them animating this frame by frame it's like yeah man it's and it reminded it it was a real throwback to all those awkward

surprise moments when playing video games in a part of the house that anyone can walk by and just a sexy stuff so you just go oh come, no. I just want to be Solid Snake. I don't need my mum thinking I'm playing some sort of hentai fucking sex game. I've never played a game with a sex scene or a bit where someone gets their knockers out

where it's been welcome. Oh, never. Never. It's never good. It's never for been welcome oh never never it's never good it's never for you you never enjoy it yeah you always you always end up just thinking like well i mean like most cut scenes are not good most cut scenes are just two characters kind of is it just me or like 90 of cut scenes between two characters just one... Is it just me or are like 90% of cutscenes between two characters, just one or both of them being skeptical at each other?

What do you mean? It's always just like, you think you're going to take the goblet of Morgoth that easily? Well, here's a few things you need to know about that. It's always like a kind of sassy, skeptical... That's true, actually, yeah. Even in like The Witcher, where you're the sceptical one really, you thought a vampire could be defeated

with a yeah, that's always awkward because it's like, I personally as Phil I don't know that a vampire could be defeated by so you tell me Witcher yeah you feel like you're being, this guy's. Yeah, you feel like you're being,

this guy's being rude on your behalf. And you're like, no, no, no, no, no. That's fair enough. It's fair. It's fine. It's a fair question to ask. I was wondering that myself, actually. Yeah, that would be the,

you could get a special game achievement for playing the Witcher through as the most boring, nice guy. Just, well, that's a fair point. And here's how. I was, I have to say turned on by um the cheat in the sims that let you you got rid of the blur when your sims are having sex oh yes and you could and you could there's another separate cheek allowed you to take the bed and pull it away

thus revealing your sims having sex sort of suspended in midair. Yeah. Just sort of smushing, smushing polygons. Yeah. And I think that did turn me on actually. Yeah. But how old were you?

Uh, 20, 21. I think it must've been, it must've been like 10, you know, when you're just desperate for anything. I was going to say, but that's anything I was going to say but that's

I was going to say that's why I asked because that's no achievement is it that's like that's like you know starting a fire with only a flamethrower it's like yeah it's going to happen there'll be a fire it's a hair trigger yeah I mean do you remember when people like I mean Lara Croft

Tomb Raider started off as a sex symbol. And you look back on that and you go, huh? Yeah. I was essentially turned on by a piece of like modern sculpture. Yes, exactly. Like abstract modern sculpture. It kind of moved. Maybe the table leg thing makes more sense than we think then.

Maybe we're the idiots. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we were jacking over pointy boobs. Got to put a doily on Laura Croft. Put a doily on those points, madam. So, Phil, you're saying in this robot sex scene not robot not robot she

dipped her tits in a sluice she did the oh yeah she did a tits sluice with champagne yeah maybe that's why I was turned on yes maybe they'll sell it as an NFT 3D

tit champagne I really wish that that was something that is not going to happen but it 100% is it's not even that insane an idea at this point Pierre it's not even a bad idea that yeah I mean they could fund the next series with it

for sure for sure gosh um what was i gonna say uh well yeah so 3d yes yeah in conclusion i was turned on by a 3d sex scene more than i thought i would be 3D... Yes? Yeah. In conclusion, I was turned on by a 3D sex scene more than I thought I would be and more than I am proud to confess to. That's really funny, man.

That should be something. Truly embarrassing. It should be a bit. It's rare that you're just embarrassed on your own alone at home, but I was embarrassed on my own. It's funny to be embarrassed by your own body as well. And I was even like trying to pretend I wasn't,

I was like giving myself fake laughs, like going, like that to try and convince myself I wasn't getting turned on. That's deep denial. That's amazing. I just had to go, oh gosh, that's so dumb

I'm just so confused and humiliated so you were just a guy sat there on your own going like oh this is so

stupid I've got to watch it again to see how stupid it was to remind me as women our life stages come with unique risk factors like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke know your risks visit heartandstroke.ca digital way. Well, BudPod NFTs are for you. For example, you can

own an image of Pierre holding a poop. You own it. It's digital and anyone can screen grab it and keep it and it would be indistinguishable from your NFT, but you can say you own it. A picture

of Pierre holding a poop. NFT. Now going for only 599 hundred and ten pounds. Want a sound file of Phil going like this? Well, it's yours as an NFT for only 6 million bit pounds. Do you want a full episode of Budpod downloaded to your phone? Well, you can just subscribe to Budpod at any podcast outlet or platform. Or you can pay 6 trillion US dollars in gold ingots and buy an NFT of episode number 123. It'll be exactly the same as listening to it normally, but you can tell people you own it. The future is NFT. The future

is Budpod. Own a part of the future. Own a part of Budpod. Now only £10 billion for just even the smallest thing. Completely ridiculous. This truly is the end of civilisation as we know it. Budpod NFTs. Available now. Wherever you get

your scams. Well, Phil, digital tit champagne aside, and I never thought I'd say that. No. But digital tit champagne aside, this is a very important episode because we are officially launching our Patreon.

Yes! GluntPod at last has a patreon perhaps where we will eventually sell our own to champagne that's right that's right exactly tit dip champagne courtesy of pnp um but essentially we we've heard your demands pod buds um we've been listening and what we've been hearing is Phil and Pierre we want to give you money more than anything in the world and we have listened here at BudPod HQ

yes yes, we finally we're going to stop turning down those envelopes rammed with cash that you keep trying to post to us no longer will they go into the furnace but they will be diverted to the patreon um yes we're going to do a patreon there should be a link in every single episode of budpods description now um so just check the

description on your listening device your phone whatever, whatever it is, whatever app you use, and give it a click and you will see the three tiers available and what you can get. And the good news is that even the lowest tier will get the thing that I think has been the most requested

from some of you for the Patreon, an extra 30 minutes of content per week, per episode. You've spoken and we've listened PodBuds, so open up your Zooms and click on that link. That's right. We have three tiers.

I'm very proud of our tier names. It just feels so good to be part of the Patreon age, Pierre. The lowest tier? You can be a pod bud. You can solidify your position as a pod bud. You're a pod bud. You're a pod bud and you get an extra 30-minute little chunk. Your correspondence gets priority.

So it goes to the top of the insane list of correspondence and will be in the extra episode as a result. You get some early access to BudPod news, gigs and updates, stuff like that. And if you stick around, PodBuds, you'll get a sticker, a special BudPod sticker. A sticker, which you can stick anywhere. You can stick on your laptop and it will be easier to identify you as a PodBud than if you went around shouting things about bin bags and upset people that's right that's right

or just tag it to a random enemy on the street and they will be bothered with questions about poo and bullets exactly um if you do tier two which which is a founding farter, you get everything from tier one plus access to a bonus once a month correspondent special and poster mug and sticker as well. You still get the sticker, but you get a poster and a mug as well if you stick around and there will be a store discount. We're looking into getting some proper merch um set up sort of hoodies and things like that so that's something that we're working on but you'll still get the t-shirt you'll get a t-shirt in the third tier which is a tat whisperer uh so tat whisperers in the third tier get everything from the previous two tiers plus a t-shirt eventually and the ability to suggest discussion topics for the extra 30 minutes. Yes.

You say it, and we'll say it to each other. Yes. And you'll have your own Budpod Tat. Budpod's finally getting into the Tat game at long last. We're getting into the Tat game. You know what? We've been on the sidelines analyzing Tat for too long.

Tat has thrown down the gauntlet, a gauntlet embroidered with the word prosecco yeah and it's time for us to pick it up laugh at it make a didgeridoo noise and join in we started off as commentators and now we have become players ourselves or we've done the reverse liniker we've done a we've done the reverse Lineker. We've done a... We've done a reverse Lineker. We're Benjamin Buttons of TAT. We're going to dive headlong. Yeah, so please go and support

Budpod. That's a nice gesture. And obviously, you know, it just helps us spend more time on it and justify the time we spend on it. And you could even just do it as an appreciation for the 140 hours, roughly, of pooping and fun thus far. Yeah, why not? What would you call that? Retrospective Patreon. yeah why not um what would you call that retrospective patreon i mean it's the pistorian equivalent of patreon yes that's true yeah yeah yeah that's

right just um a time traveling patreon member of some sort um and uh yes yeah and we're and there'll be you know we're going to look in we're going to see how it goes and look into expanding it and getting

the merch and so on but yeah a bit ongoing evolving thing yes yes and we'll take suggestions

sure sure we will sure especially from patrons of course of course whose

whose words are worth their weight in gold. Worth their weight in digital gold spilling down a robot's tits. I still got it in my head that they're robots. I'm not sure why. They're not robots. They're just 3D animated humanoids. But yes, exciting stuff, Podbuds.

But as always, your father and I will never not give you a podcast once a week. That's not what this is about. That's not what this is about and it isn't your fault. It's not what this is about, and it isn't your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault.

We're like Goodwill Hunting. It's not your fault we're doing a Patreon. It's just something that your father and I have decided to do for us. We're keeping up with the Joneses. We're joining this new, exciting digital age. We're hitchhiking down the information superhighway.

We've bought our first boogie board to surf the web. It's interesting, isn't it, that you always surfed the web and we never employed the kind of verbs you'd associate with giant horrible spiders. Yeah, really mixed our metaphors there in the early days of the internet. Yeah, and giant horrible spiders

is a much better description of the kind of people that you're probably going to encounter online. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Web is a much better description of the kind of people that you're probably going to encounter online. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Web is a better analogy than surf, but it never took off, I guess, surfing the web. I guess you can get a web crawler. That's a thing, but that's quite a techie term.

A little crawling web boy, web lord. Web boy. Come here, web boy. You there, Web boy! Come here, web boy! You there, web boy! Spin me a web! Wait, I can't wait. I can't wait for a real life, physical bud pod tact to be out there.

Oh, man. Imagine seeing it in the wild. Yeah! Imagine seeing it in the wild. imagine seeing it in the wild god that would be cool and and we'll update the tat as you know time goes by you know it's uh it takes a a couple of months or so to earn some of the tat and then once you've earned it we're going to create new tat so that you're not um left behind and that means that if you if you miss the first round of Tat, it might, I don't know, it might be gone forever. We might transfer it to a store. We'll see, but it's going to be great.

And God knows the show has enough references. And also, ah, we will be bringing back the silly sketches and intermittent songs to both the main podcast and the bonus one. Truly, this is the golden age of Budpod. It's a Budpod industrial revolution. It really is. We've created a loom.

It really is. A podcast loom. Yes. A loom of poo and bums. That's the final. That's one of George R. R. Martin's novels, I think. A loom of poo and bums. It's about to say that's the last one.

He wrote us he was really losing it actually a loom of poo and bum and they were like are you sure you want he was like yes I like upsetting my readers this is what I want well as per our new format we should do some correspondence

yes let's do it ring letters emails phone calligraphy your sister five years correspondence we have

a message from Phoebe. Phoebe! Um, not at all creepy to hear from Phoebe. Nice. Uh, dear Pops. Pops. Is this good? Yeah.

Every time I go to the toilet to do my poos and wheeze, my dog runs in like she's been called to do something very important and serious. She stays there looking at me with love until I reach for the toilet roll, at which point she considers herself dismissed and runs back to whatever it was she was doing before she heard my bum bum touch the seat. Wow, how interesting. What does she think her job is? To guard? To guard the human?

But only... Right, right. But the human, if anything, the human needs most guarding whilst they're wiping, because their hands are occupied. That's true. If someone burst in to try and karate chop you, you'd only have one hand to block it with. Yeah, exactly. However, in your other hand, Phil, would be a potent psychological weapon. Oh, shit.

Yeah. Not just psychological, scatological. That's right. You could Spider-Man the tissue roll right at the person. The current battlefield is one on the scatological battlefield. Scatological warfare, ladies and gentlemen. That's the future.

Like at the start of Iron Man. They say the ultimate weapon of war is one you only have to fire... one you never have to fire. Well, I prefer the one you only have to wipe once. He just absolutely fills his pants in front of the

Taliban. That was a good movie. That was good. It was good? It was really good. It was good. Phoebe has another story. Yeah, it was probably the best. She says, trigger trigger warning this one is emotional Is this Phoebe still?

Yeah still Phoebs Phoebe Phoebs Trigger warning this one is emotional When I was little I used to say Poos and wheeze in a special fast Wispy accent Poos and wheeze in a special fast Wispy accent

Wispy Poussainouise Poussainouise That seems like a special fast wispy accent Right? Yeah Poussainouise And I still continue to do it whenever I want to make my mum

Or my sister smile When I was at uni I told my best friend about this And I still continue to do it whenever I want to make my mum or my sister smile. When I was at uni, I told my best friend about this, and he also found it very funny and started saying it occasionally to feel good. So you just hear yourself, Puss and Wheeze. Yeah, it does feel nice. So that's pretty good. Very sadly...

It's quite ASMR booze and wheeze it would be the funniest thing for like the ghost of a little girl to say in a haunted house booze and wheeze because you'd have to tell They'd be like not only did I see a ghost

It whispered to me and I screamed And they'd go what did it say And you'd have to be like It said Poo's and Whee's And you were scared by that It was about the way It was the delivery Go sleep there if you don't believe me

So Phoebe says very sadly it was the delivery go sleep there if you don't believe me so Phoebe says very sadly this uni friend he had a bad bicycle accident with a serious head injury and was in a coma and recovery for well over a year oh gosh when I went to visit him

I would say in my special way and when he was conscious I said it again and he laughed and repeated it back in the special accent and it was emotional and beautiful and funny because I knew then that my old friend was still here

oh that's nice, that's good amazing Poussainouise the power Poussainoueze forever. Phoebe. P.S. I love you, Phil. And Pierre, in brackets, she's put. Oh, that's nice. Love you too. Phoebe, glad your friend

is better and well. And, of course, that Pooze and Weeze played such a vital role in his recovery. Yes. And I wonder if he heard it when he was sort of in there. recovery. Yes. And I wonder if he heard it when he was sort of in there. You must...

Yeah. Yeah. They say that people do. They do say that hearing is the thing, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if it's like a dream. I don't know what it's like to experience it.

Yeah. Maybe we're in one like to experience it. Yeah. Maybe we're in one right now, Phil. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe we'll start hearing poos and wheeze whispered by a sort of godlike entity from the sky. And wonder, wait,

is this the dream? Is this all we're seeing? If God appeared in the sky to all of humanity and just said, pose and wheeze, and then left again. The absolute chaos that would unleash. Oh, man. Joe gets in touch.

Joe, let's go. Ho, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho. Joe gets in touch Joe let's go ho ho ho ho ho ho dear bud poodles Joe says I was just listening to your funny and painful discussion about the heights various people have fallen from

I think we talked with Stu about that oh yeah Stu's dad fell from a surprisingly great height, wasn't that right? And like through a greenhouse or something. Yeah, through glass. And he was okay? Yes.

Yes. Yeah, that's mad. And it reminded me of this story of an American skydiver whose parachute failed to open. And they hit the ground... Joe says they hit the ground at bone-crushing speed. And it's like, yes, yes.

I'd have thought so. Apparently, the only thing that saved her life was the fact that she landed on a colony of fire ants who immediately stung the shit out of her. This caused a surge of adrenaline that kept her heart beating long enough

for the emergency services to get to her. No way. Apparently. Apparently. You know what? I would have thought the adrenaline would have kicked in before then. I have to say.

I don't feel like she was coming down. I don't think she was bored right until the ants started biting her. Do you think she was falling and just going, and then the second she saw that there was a fire ant hill, like, wait, is that squinting?

Because it's still like a mile away. Is that a fire ant hill? No! No! And then it was! I don't want to hit that. Would it have been softer as well? I suppose the fire anthill would have been a bit softer too, right? No, no. Especially in South Africa, anthills in the bush are like concrete because they

chew the dirt and they bind it with spit and stuff. Jesus. A termite mound mound like you can crash a car into a termite mound it's just like concrete yeah but there does seem to be a lot of luck involved with them or you survive a very high fall yeah because um and i guess with skydiving like i'll be on the point it doesn't really matter what height you fall from because your terminal velocity is your terminal velocity. And that's what you're going to hit the ground at. Yes. Yes. Like, there's a theory that cats could survive any fall because I think they can survive.

At least some cats can survive the terminal velocity. Yeah. Because it just has to have a limit, doesn't it? Mm-hmm. Yeah, because it just has to have a limit, doesn't it? Yeah, well, Joe says it should be said that Wikipedia repeatedly stresses that while it is true she fell from the plane and survived, the only reference to the ant sting

saving her life is from her original interview in People magazine and may have no medical backing whatsoever. Yeah, I mean, I think my point stands in that I feel like there already would have been some adrenaline going through her bloodstream. Yes, yes. And it's well known that

People magazine is in the pocket of Big Ant. Yeah. Joe says, but it's such a cool fact, I think we can all ignore the dubious nature of the claim and agree that it's absolutely true well it actually reminds me of something that was in a dan brown book it's an angel and angels and demons and it's it's when uh it might even be robert langdon though the main protagonist has to fall out of a plane and he remembers from early on in the book a scientist saying

that even the smallest increase in surface area can have a great effect on lowering your terminal velocity as you fall and so he opens up his shirt or whatever and survives his fall and I've always thought about that

since then you know because dan brown writes important literature i mean fucking hell i just i've read that book and i don't remember a bit where he tries to billow himself to safety like a toddler but oh it's in there it's in there out of a helicopter over the vatic How can you forget Scenes like that How could you ever forget a scene like that Joe Joe says While I'm here I should add the highest I've ever fallen

Is 20 feet down a cliff in a rock climbing accident Ooh Resulting In so many pins in my right foot That it looks like the surgeon Dro dropped their keys during the operation. Oof. Yikes. It seems so much more about how you fall

than how high you fall. Because you can roll your ankle and do more damage than falling off 10 feet straight onto your back, I feel. I don't know. Yeah, it's just... Or like if you sort of, yeah, you hit some kind of soft part of you that has a bit of movement to it. I don't know.

God. Old Pinfoot Joe. Pinfoot Joe. God damn. Old Joe Metal Toe. That's what they call it. Old Joe Robo Toes. Is it Lady Joe or

Fellow Joe? It appears to be spelled with an E, so I'm going to guess Man Joe. Oh, Man Joe. Man Joe. I play the Man Joe. Dun-da-dun-da-dun-da-dun-da-dun-da-dun-da-dun. Robotoe Man Joe.

Would love to see that Robotoe in a sex scene. Oh God, Joe pouring champagne all over his shattered foot in 3D have you seen that rock climbing movie Free Solo oh yes

so he he had a bad fall um when his girlfriend like let slip on the support rope and he fell basically like straight onto his legs like as if you're standing and like shattered his shin and like fucked his back and i was like what the hell imagine staying together after that imagine like imagine the passive-aggressive comments you'd be able to make yeah it's like oh you didn't put the rubbish out last night and you can just go well i didn't break your legs and back did i and if she ever says like god you're really not going to let this go, it's like, well, I don't let things go. I'm not some people in this room.

That's a more of a you thing. I bet you would let it go really easily. I bet you would let it go instantly, wouldn't you? And just continue in that vein. And Joe says, but seeing as I didn't land on a colony of fire ants it hardly seems worth mentioning lots of jacking at love joe well jacking it up to you too joe hope that metal toe is um better yes yes hope so i'm alone tonight metal toe oh boy Oh, boy, oh, boy. Robot toe.

Absolutely. Well, Phil, let's continue our discussion of robot toes and many other things. And the bonus recording. But for the rest of you guys, we're going to go to the VIP area now. You guys enjoy the party, but it's Podbuds only after this. Oh, wow. We're essentially, we're a stripper and we've taken the hand of the patrons

and we're leading them through the dark strip club into a private room. Into a private, big toilet. We've whispered into the patrons' ears, want a private boob chat? we whispered into the patrons ears wanna private poop chat sorry honey I only discuss

farting one on one no kissing but yeah so patrons come with us feels weird and we'll see all of you guys

next week yeah bye bye enjoy bye bye