BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 148 - Igor!

Episode Date: January 26, 2022

Phil Wang and Pierre Novellie discuss (recorded a week in advance) hum for hate, nutrition/science, affirming the consequent, Djokovic. Also: mysogytat feast from Rosie and the cave full of rules, Featuring Marjorie calling from Djokovic's hotel. Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Budpod 148. 148. 148. Hum for hate, which is a new campaign that I'm starting, where I think there's actually too much kindness in the world, and it's holding us back. So on the 20th of February, everyone is going to, at 5pm, we're all going to start humming out our windows. And to raise awareness for the importance of hate in our society.

The value that hate can bring. That's right. Hum for the haters. Enough clapping for carers. Let's hum for the haters. Well, the 1984, they had the haters well the um the 1984 they had like the minutes hate didn't they whether you all had to scream at a picture of the semi-fictional two minute hate two minute hate so i think humming is actually a more realistically passively

aggressive british version of that getting right up into the face of someone you hate and you're going gesturing with like a shrug towards yourself as if like do you want to fight but going hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm but going, hmm? Hmm? Hmm?

Or really, hmm-hmm? Walking up and down on the lawn outside their house. Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm. Devastating hum for hate. Hum for hate. Hum for haters are here. Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm. Devastating hum for hate Hum for hate Hum for haters I hear Waving Waving threateningly Out through the window

Oh god It's frightening It is It's chilling A chilling thought I wouldn't want to be hummed at I wouldn't know what to do What do you do?

If you get hummed at You don't want to hum back because you feel insane but equally if someone's on your lawn going and you go yeah yeah very clever and they just go yeah yeah very clever you have to keep talking through their humming that's such a funny response to someone humming on your lawn ah okay okay very clever very clever yeah that would only make sense if like the guy's name was like leonard hum or something okay i get it i get it very clever my name's mr hum so very good. Yeah, got it. Got it. Loud and clear.

Very clever. Do not hum too long in the abyss, Phil, or the abyss will hum back at you. For who the bell hums. Yeah, for who does the bell hum? It hums for me. It hums not for me. hum hums not for me um now we're currently recording this early sort of a week early because as you listen to this advanced pod because i am well if you if you listen to this on this release day i am flying back from copenh. But how am I here at the same time? The magic of

Bill Gates' internet, that's how. Oh. Phil is on a plane, stuffed with herring and the Danish version of Covid, and yet he's not here. It's Covid, but it has a line through it. Covid.

Yeah, it's Covid, but minimalist and sort of snuggly It's Covid but it seems like efficient And kind of down to earth in a way In a way that sort of Belies it's Viking past Grim and placid Yes So I I want to talk about Grim and placid Yes

So I I want to talk about The whole Novak Djokovic thing At the Australian Open Yes Because that's what's happening Well that's what's just happened right now in the past In the recent past

And I guess the Australian Open Will this still be going on? I don't even know I don't know enough about tennis. I don't know about you, Pierre, but I found it hilarious. I'm so happy when he got deported. It's one of the rare occasions you can say as a left-leaning person and get away with it,

I'm glad they were deported. Yeah, it's a deliciously rare sentence to be able to say in full. I'm glad that Serbian man was deported because I'm progressive. Also, like, the fact it took him so long to be deported, it's like it illustrates to you that Australia's love of sport is initially stronger than Australia's love of deporting foreigners. It's their two pastimes. Not letting anyone into the country and a good kickabout. That's the two things they love.

And those two loves conflated. This is the most Australian news story ever. This is also the most Australian month Australia has enjoyed for years. Deporting someone and a sport event. It was like Godzilla versus Kong. Who can triumph the love of incredibly harsh border control and airport attitudes or sport in the sun. I mean, titans.

An unstoppable force, a movable object. But in the end, just by a single point, the, what is it in tennis? The something? The what? What's it called? You win the The what the what's it called you win the over point. Oh Point you mean you win the point the match point the match point But is it what is it? But people say like he won six blanks to four sets sets sets. Yeah

The match point of the final set was won by the notion that if you fiddle around with your form and don't fill it in properly we're gonna kick you out of australia that won that sentiment won and for once it won in a way that everyone can agree with very funny indeed very funny also that he's the draining champion and he can't defend his title because he won't get an injection. I love it. I think it's so funny. Also, just always funny when anything inconveniences someone who is simultaneously an anti-vaxxer and a nationalist. Is he a nationalist? He's a big old Serbian nationalist, yeah. Oh, great. This story gets better and better.

How nationalist is he? Serbian nationalist. I know that there's sort of moderately sinister murals of him i was speaking to an eastern european person about the whole jockovich thing and she was not anti-vax herself but she understood the mindset being eastern european and she said he's like of course that's what he thinks of course we don't get the jab and he she said um we can't get sick we're god's people we're god's people we don't get sick we can do it we're strong we're god's people she just kept saying really yeah yeah she's but like she wasn't saying that like she believed it she's explaining the mindset so we're god's people

and i guess when you look at like like serbia and eastern europe in general and the old soviet bloc you kind of get it like these are people who have been through the most difficult histories and survived and so you can kind of almost forgive them for thinking i i'll survive this i don't need i don't need your help yeah and i suppose they i would say a lot of the eastern europeans i know are blanket cynics oh yes for sure that is the that is a slavic way yes very cynical and with good reason um but yes he's a he's a big old serb so oh that's interesting okay so he's uh and and look if he just came out and said in this one instance i didn't want to get it because i was worried about it affecting my career as the best tennis man i'd

have gone oh okay i guess that makes sense but then him being like a long-term anti-vaxxer um views on diet medicine and science i'm looking him up since 2010 jacob has been connected with the nutritionist igor look look look right i i am an open-minded fellow i don't believe in nominative predeterminism or anything. But I'm not taking health advice or help from anyone called Igor. I don't care. I'm not... Igor. Like in Frankenstein.

Igor. Yeah. Oh, I don't feel very well. Igor, come in here and make me feel better. What's he going to do? Strap him to a metal bed and zap him with lightning? The nutritionist Igor. Igor.

His practice is in a big spooky tower In the middle of Romania He recommends cutting out gluten And lightning No more lightning Surely he's pro-lightning if he's eagle Oh no sorry Cutting out gluten

Oxford comma and lightning I like the idea of him coming off the tennis court Cutting out gluten, Oxford comma, and lightning. I like the idea of him coming off the tennis court and saying, Igor, my nutrients. What is Igor's of carting anything around for him is funny. Igor, come. Igor, my racket. Maybe that's who filled in the form wrong,

and he was in the hotel trapped in australia going sorry master i'm not good with visa applications master no no no no phil jockovich is the tennis player jockovich is monster is what we call the strain of covid he brought that's funny oh maybe you should see my nutritionist oh yeah, yeah. Is he good? He's great. His name is Igor. No. I'll stop you there. No. I'm not letting anyone called Igor near my body. I'm sorry. Igor, and I'm trying to interpret this.

It's the letter C, Phil, but it's got a little V above it. Okay. Is that like ch? Does it make it a ch? But then it ends with like vich, V-I-C, with a little slash. So I think the slash V is a ch, whereas this upside-down V hat thing on the C, I'm guessing a sh?

S-H? So Igor Shetoyevich, if I've got that right who additionally focuses phil on chinese medicine and acupuncture wow well i can tell you as someone's chinese heritage it's chinese medicine's fucking nonsense acupuncture might have something to it acupuncture might have something to it yeah uh but ground seahorses does not something to it yeah uh but ground seahorses does not you go my seahorses i'm the best tennis player in the world and i have an ego who brings me seahorses hello no one is available to take your call please leave a message after the tone. Oh, um, hello. I'm hoping that I've gotten through to the Global Tennis Organization.

The World... The Tennis... The World Tennis Club. Um, it's Marjorie. Hello. I'm calling from the hotel room next to Mr. Djokovic's in Australia. Well, he's gone now. He's been replaced with a migrant.

Anyway, I also am stuck here because I came to Australia and my handbag was full of papayas. And I didn't remember because I never remember, which is why I have so many papayas every time I go to the shop. I think I don't have any papayas

and I buy a papaya and I put it in my bag. And I never eat them, and they go mushy, and then they descend into each other, and the bottom layer of my handbag has become a sort of soil from which I'll sprout a papaya plant. From the seeds, and so more papayas are growing

as well as the ones I buy. And I've really, I've bought myself into a sort of loop here. Anyway, anyway, it doesn't matter. The point is that I'm in trouble. Because it looks like I'm a papaya importer. And I would never import a papaya. Not to Australia.

Anyway, I need help is the point. And I was hoping that you could say I'm a tennis player and that I could get away with it. And the rules don't apply to me. And that if they did apply, I can go back. Because they won't deport me back because they can't tell where I'm from. They say my accent isn't from anywhere. And they have never seen the kind of papayas I have.

And I didn't bring any ID. So, yes, if you could help, I would like it. Thank you. This is the trouble, Phil. When someone who is the trouble phil when someone who is the best at something is also a bit mental yeah it's trouble and it's often the case that being the best at something requires you to be mental or turns you mental or both or both yeah or both and then if someone's sitting there going like ah stuffing their face with seahorses and you say you shouldn't do that and they go well more fool you the best guy in the world that something

doesn't so what do you say to that is there a name for that fallacy like if you put up a a sign saying no tigers on your house and you say well look there are no tigers here obviously the sign works is there a name for that oh there is um let's find it uh since i'm elephant sign no elephant sign is that the more famous example no elephant sign i've always had it with elephants no elephant sign I mean it's a fallacy So maybe if I type in fallacy Affirming the consequent Affirming the consequent

I like this It actually sounds a bit like a pope Affirming the consequent Well that only happened during the reign of Aff affirming the consequent yeah well that only happened um during the reign of affirming the consequent that's funny um okay so this is good yeah arguments of the same form can be so it can seem superficially convincing as in the following example if brian had been thrown off the top of the eiffel tower then he would be dead brian is dead therefore brian was thrown off the top of the eiffel tower i see i see wow very violent example they've come up with whoever wrote that example i think really hates

someone called brian yeah the whole it's weird the whole wikipedia page is full of examples about uh if i fucked brian's wife strange i've actually called it the brian fallacy yes yeah okay so jock of it i'm just looking at jock of it just like an old school uh in his 2013 autobiography serve to win terrible name serve to win surely or the serve with the serve yeah serve is in tennis but like serve to win

isn't really a phrase so what's that a pun on yeah it's not good what there's so many tennis puns a shame a mischance there. Igor! Igor, this pun is terrible! Sorry, master. Puns are not my forte. I suggested serve you in court.

Or you got served. I was so confident about you got Serbed. So apparently in his autobiography, he wrote of a, quote, researcher. That's always a good sign, isn't it? When someone just goes, there was a researcher. Once upon a time, there was a researcher. And he said, I'm right. I don't know if you know this, but there was once a researcher.

And you think, oh, I'm about to hear some facts. But there was once a researcher And you think oh I'm about to hear some facts Better get my fact harness on To hear these facts He wrote of a researcher Who directed quote Anger and fear and hostility At a glass of water Phil

Who directed anger and fear and hostility At a glass of water Like the emotions Yeah so an actual researcher a funded scientistility at a glass of water. Like the emotions. Yeah, so an actual researcher, a funded scientist, sat with a glass of water and went, Ah! Boo! Oh my God. At some water.

Which, quote Phil, turned slightly green after a few days. No, it... Whilst also the researcher, Phil, he directed love and joy at another glass of water and it remained bright and crystal clear in the same period i i think he spat some algae into the first one that's what happened maybe he did it closer yes especially if it was igor microbe yeah igor you got my water green sorry i'm pretty i'm pretty sure the researcher is Igor. He just doesn't want to put Igor the name in the book in that context. Some researcher. I forget who. He's learned, Phil, that over time people react badly when he says, I got Igor to shout at some water.

I asked Igor to run some experiments. I asked my assistant Igor To scream at water And it went green People go I'm going to cut you off there Novak I'm not interested in hearing the rest of this So he believes in like Homeopathy basically That water camps

Wow In 2020 Djokovic spoke of his knowledge of So he believes in like, like homeopathy, basically. Yeah. Water camps. Wow. In 2020, Djokovic spoke of his knowledge of, quote, some people. Fact alert. Oh, no. Some people. Phil. Yeah.

Using prayer and gratitude to turn the most toxic food or maybe most polluted water into the most healing water. Okay, great. Yep. He also says that scientists have proven that molecules in the water react to our emotions. No, they haven't. What scientists? Just scientists. This is like when someone says, they did a study and... You know they did a study and apparently You know, they did a study and apparently...

Who? Who did the study? What study? Who? Were they crazy people? Because that's also they. Was the study written in faeces on a wall? Is that the they you're talking about? How many eagles did the study? Several eagles did this study? Several eagles?

Or a lone eagle. Was this done by a lone eagle? Early reports indicate this is the work of a lone eagle. Phil, I for one can't believe that a man who spends all his time playing tennis and has an assistant called Igor would believe in some mumbo jumbo how crazy

yeah, it's and I think it's something that happens it's a problem in football as well especially the fa yeah a lot of football players not getting and they won't get vaccinated for fear of what it might do to them physically and i think i think the truth is when your whole life your whole job is your body is your health like eventually you you you know enough about your body to keep it healthy but i think the think the human condition wants us to keep looking for things, keep discovering new things, keep finding out new ways to improve our bodies. And so once they've exhausted all the true science about the human body, they go in deeper and have to start making shit up.

Because they just spent too much time with their bodies and thinking about their bodies yeah and i mean the placebo effect is so powerful that you get these guys who have that like uh suddenly they're 10 faster at the 100 meters than they were and they go that's ever since i started thanking the moon i mean i i'm in no position to make fun of him because I... Comics get superstitious about stand-up all the time, even being sort of the mainly rational type of person we tend to be. I'll get superstitious about a song that gets played

before I go on or a shirt that I'm wearing or what I've eaten recently. It's just because when you spend so much time with something you have to start like you just have to keep thinking about it you start going off on these tangents yeah and and not to stereotype but i i growing up at least i found that there was a high correlation between constantly only playing football and not doing very well at science. Interesting. Not always. No, not always.

Not always. But there are only so many Gary Linekers among us. Djokovic is the anti-Lineker. It's well known. Do you know what? Can you imagine how satisfying it would be to be sat in a room or sat opposite, across a table from Novak Djokovic, the best tennis player ever, basically. A historical figure, an incredible athlete,

a master of human form. Novak Djokovic, you're sat opposite him, and he just says, I heard that if you're is uh if you're sad the water is sad as well and then you get to rest your hand on top of the hand of like a greek you know hero of myth basically and say no they didn't no novec you're wrong and I'm right. Novak, you're the best at something, maybe ever. And yet, here we are with you saying something a dumb idiot would say. You just said a man made a glass of water sad.

And then you said the sadness got mouldy. The funny thing about Novak Djokovic like i'm always astonished he's the best tennis player in history because he looks like an it consultant he does not look like an athlete at all he's tall he's thin he's tall. He's thin. He's tall. But he looks like a nice guy at a rave. Or your computer teacher. No, that's it, actually. That is it. And they're the same guy.

He's the same guy. He looks like someone who's really into computers and loves the occasional rave. But he does not look like an athlete. He goes to sober raves. Yeah, yeah. He looks very Christian. I'll give him that. Yeah, he does look like he's leaning on the bar at a sober rave.

And he's asking people if they've accepted the risen Christ. And you're like, is that a cocktail? And he goes, no, friend. Talks like that. But he just doesn't look like an athlete to me no no he really doesn't maybe that's why he gets ahead

people underestimate him he looks like he has a big dick I reckon I reckon he's got a big dick there's a kind of guy there's like there's a kind of skinny white guy with a big nose always has a big dick

well you see the thing is, Phil, is that a researcher yelled at one penis and then said nice things at another one. You know what? The one that he shouted at got droopy and sad and green.

And the one he was nice about got big and strong and hard and pink. Yeah. I don't believe this. Okay, well, Igor! Igor, the penis thing. Come, show him. Bring in the penises. Yes, the ones in the jars.

The ones you've been yelling at. Or flattering. How do the glasses of water know what's directed at them? Yeah. Well, how do they not know that you're talking about the glass of water behind them? They don't have arms, so they can't point at themselves and do that. Huh? Me?

Oh, him. Sorry. You're calling me a cunt? Me? Oh, him, sorry. You're calling me a cunt? Hmm? It'd be very funny to walk in on a hunched little man just staring at water going, You're cunt. You're stupid cunt. What are you doing? Science, get out!

Get out, get out. Get out, you're ruining the experiment. If master sees you in here. Master only keeps his most precious glasses of water and here you cannot be in here Flattery only room You've screwed up my visa form for the last time No master, not the tennis balls, please

Really brutally serves tennis balls at him Should we do some correspondence, Philip? Yeah, sure Do you reckon if Djokovic served a tennis ball at your head it would hurt? Oh, fuck yeah But they're quite bouncy and soft, aren't they? Yeah, but these things are Rocketing at you, aren't they?

With the serve, they always go on about how it's like 100 miles an hour or something Too fast, I say Too fast for a ball, in my opinion. Slow down, children crossing, Djokovic! Stop complimenting that ball, maybe it'll slow down. Yes, correspondance. Oh.

Letters, emails, phone calls, tweets, your sister, your best friend, letters, correspondence. So, Rosie has sent us some tat. Rosie, show-sie us your tat. And she has. She absolutely has. And the subject line is misogyny tat, which is nice. That's pretty good.

Ooh, I love a bit misogyny tat. Those horrible dad, man cave, beer is better than women kind of signs. Yeah. It's a great and I think often unappreciated subcategory of tat. Yeah. Misategory of tat. Yeah, it's... Soja tat. And I don't know if it's in decline. It's probably putting up a spirited resistance

against people trying to get rid of it. I think it's... Yeah, I think there's too much of a generational divide between our generation of men and the one that preceded us. More so maybe than the generational divide between women of our age and their and their mothers i think maybe men young men are more different than the fathers yeah i think that's true and this tat illustrates the gap it's gap tat it's the gap tat is the tat of the gap you've heard of the god of the gaps well this is the tat of the gap. You've heard of the god of the gaps. Well, this is the tat of the gaps.

So there's quite a lot here, Phil. It's a display of available signs for purchase, and there are 12 signs. Ah, like the apostles. Yeah, yeah. So some of these are unguessable. I'll tell you, certainly this one's unguessable. It is a silhouette, Phil, a sort of cartoonish silhouette of a bride and groom kissing. Okay.

And what do you think the caption is? It's two words. Blank, blank. Life over. Game over. Game over. You've got it. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Game over. Game Over? Game Over! You've got it. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Game Over. Fuck. Yeah, I should have got that. I think I've actually seen a Game Over in the wild before. I cannot imagine any eligible bachelor wearing that as a t-shirt or having it as a poster. It's just so lame. It's just so, like, outdated. It's just so lame. It's just so like outdated. It's just like so embarrassing.

To have like anti-marriage gags. It's just like who gives a fuck. To do anti-gags about an institution that fewer than half of people participate in anymore. Yeah, it's like, well, get divorced then. You obviously hate this woman. And are you proud that you've been coerced into a union with someone you hate?

That makes you more of a man. I don't get it. You've fucked up. Yeah, you should be embarrassed. And in a country like the UK, it's a bit like doing a poster that says, Church is boring. And you're like, why? What?

Or it's like, oh, there's a pebble in my shoe. It's like, well, take off your shoe. Get the pebble out. What are you proud of? What is this for, sir? Church is boring is perfect, yeah. Church is boring and I don't believe in God No one's making you go

Stop it then So Okay Guess this Two mysterious people live in my house Blank and blank And then there's an extra sentence But it'll give you the answer if I say it

two mysterious people live in my house love and marriage no husband and wife two mysterious people live in my house somebody and nobody right somebody did it and nobody. And then... Right.

Somebody did it, and nobody knows who. So interestingly, as much as this is misogynist, Rosie, there are some here that are misogynistic in the sense that they are kind of from the voice of the horrible wife. Right, but that's what's... Yeah, so that's the misogynistic thing about them, right? It's this caricature of the sort of naggy wife who really wants just the bare minimum

of what one should expect from an adult. Yeah, so this is a good example of that. It says, two golden rules to a happy marriage. Right? Mm. Rule one. What do you think rule one is? You're wrong.

Close. It's about the wife. She's right. She's right. Yep. Yep. Yes. Rule one.

The wife is always right. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep right yep yep yep wow this is really just going out there just laying it out straight just yeah plain yep the wife is always right rule one the wife is always right and then rule two and i really think it's very funny when Tat does this. I like it a lot. Where out of nowhere you get completely warranted headlong aggression. Unwarranted rather. Rule one. The wife is always right. Rule two.

You're a fucking idiot piece of shit. I mean you're not far off. Genuinely. Rule one. The wife is always right. Rule two. When you feel she is wrong fucking idiot piece of shit. I mean, you're not far off, genuinely. So, rule one, the wife is always right. Rule two, when you feel she is wrong, slap yourself and read rule number one again. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's one of those classics

refer to the above kind of Yeah. But with domestic violence self-inflicted, it's very odd. Yeah, it doesn't count really. I guess that's coercive. That's coercive abuse. It is. It is.

One of these signs just says, warning trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again. Not legal. Not legal. But in its defense, not misogynistic. No, no. That's pretty gender neutral.

Yes, gender neutral murder sign. Murder sign. I mean, not legal here. We need a gender neutral murder sign murder sign i mean not legal neutral murder sign there are places in the world where that is just helpful information oh yeah god yeah this is a really sincere warning yeah i mean with like american self-defense laws that is just that is just a statement of fact yeah maybe it's more like tat in places where they have a stand your ground rule, like Florida. People read it and go, I know. So, this one comes with a picture, which I'll say once you've guessed it. It says, I'm not antisocial.

I'd just rather be in my blank than talking to idiots. I'm not antisocial. I'd just rather be in my blank than talking to idiots. I'm not antisocial. I'd just rather be in my garage? Shed. I'll give you that. Shed. Shed. It's even more old school than garage.

Shed. Oh, great. And the picture is a big spanner. Just a spanner. Just a massive spanner. I'd rather be in my shed than talking to idiots. Idiots who don't understand sheds.

These people don't even want to talk about sheds. This is a particular vein of man tat as well that is like, everyone's stupid but me. A man who's spent money on tat. Yeah, yeah. They tend to be men who see that they're kind of like,

they have the same kind of rancid attitude to things as Giles Corrin, but they're not paid to put them in a column. Yeah. Yeah, they're the kind to put them in a column. Yeah. Yeah, the kind of man who says, I'm not racist, I hate everyone equally. That kind of guy. I'm an equal opportunities hater, actually. Ugh.

This one I've never seen before ever and I'll see if you can guess it when you fall asleep blank rub their blank on your face angels rub their balls on your face you're close think negative instead of angels

demons rub their balls on your face that would be a terrifying sign to put up Think negative instead of angels Demons rub their balls in your face What? That would be a terrifying sign to put up When you're asleep, angel When you're asleep, demons rub their balls in your face That's like something The girl would say in The Exorcist Demons rub their balls in your face in hell

It's tat for her bedroom Don't even talk to me Till i've sucked my cocks in hell um when you fall asleep spiders rub their willies on your face i thought might be spiders it's just like a kind of grinning spider who's been given unaccountably human cartoon red gloved hands that he's rubbing together in anticipation. And does it have a penis, like a human penis? No, they've lost their will, cowards. And lost their willies. They've lost their willies.

They've been rubbing them on faces at night. Here's another good one. My wife and I have the cutest nicknames for each other She's my what and I'm her What what what what Fucking hell She's my Everything

Angel She's my hero It's a Sort of pet name kind of thing yeah She's my Sweetie I think It's a song from the 60s

She's My Times there are a changing I'm not sure Buttercup Buttercup Buttercup of course She's my buttercup and I'm her Blank blank blank blank

Four blanks Fucking stupid cunt husband Useless sack of shit That's what it says No that's actually what it says She's my buttercup and I'm her useless sack of shit No what Buttercup's in red and shit is in red

Jesus Christ My wife and I have the cutest nicknames for each other She's my buttercup and I'm her useless sack of shit It's like a fucking suicide note You're just like If someone said that to you as a joke you'd be like Are you okay Are like, are you okay? Are you alright? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you okay?

Hey, come over here, come over here, come over here. Hey, hey, hey. You talk to them in a narrow corridor where there's no one else around. Hey, are you okay? Put your hand on their shoulder. We've all noticed things have been a little off lately with you. You and Susie.

You say these things. And, like, I don't know if you're joking or if these things are actually happening. And if they're actually happening, you know you can tell me. You know that it's not normal. It's not okay if she's saying stuff like that to you. Did she say that to you? Did she make you put up that poster? Is it wine o'clock often?

Hmm? How often is it wine o'clock at the moment? Is it more wine o'clock than not? Actually, amazingly, you kind of predicted this just now philip this next poster warning my sense of humor may offend or upset you i suggest you suck it up i change for no one what i change for no one really they've added that at the end and in the classic sign of the kind of idiot uh sentiment they used specifically two exclamation marks for suck it up and i change for no one not one phil and not three the dumbest number of exclamation marks i really believe it is why because one is just punctuation and three three is what you'd put in a comic book

for someone going, ah! Yeah. Two implies you've got a really slippery keyboard, or you decided to do two, and then you could have done three, and you went, well, no, I'm not shouting that loudly. Yeah, you kind of lost faith in yourself. It's weird.

It's a weird number of exclamation marks to use. Suck it up! I charge for no one. A lot of these posters seem to be designed just to endorse moderate behavioral disorders. Yeah. Yeah. It's a kind of, yeah.

Signs for people who are never going to have anyone around to see them. If someone puts up this sign in that kind of person's house is it really readable it's like a philosophical tree in the forest thing exactly if there is a tat if a dweeb

put some tat up in their basement and no one's there to read it, has anyone been owned at all? If you have a marriage cartoon silhouette with Game Over written underneath, are you ever married? The answer is no. Another poster. Mr. Right and Mrs. Always Right live here Oh great I love that

I love it, I love it, I love it Can you imagine the chill that would run through you If you arrived at a dinner party and saw that sign Oof Horrible I'd rather arrive at a dinner party And see a trail of blood leading into the basement. It'd be funny if it was like Boris Johnson

and Carrie's house. That'd be funny. They'd be like, okay, these guys get it. It'd be funny if that was the incredibly expensive refurb that was semi-illegally paid for yeah that's fine filled with posters like that i'd be like i'm not so angry i'd be i'd be like i'm not so angry about this now they have a sense of humor about it

um so then uh man cave cave rules right oh god yeah yeah Oh god Yeah I'm going to try and guess some of these Okay, rule number one What do you think rule number one is? I think Can you give me a steer? My blank, my blank Oh, my cave, my rules? Oh, you got it

Everyone knows A cave needs rules What's a cave without rules? Well it's a hole in a wall It's just a hole in a wall Rule number two No blanking in my blank No wanking in my pint No spitting in my beer.

No, these are low status things you're saying, Phil. No blanking in my blank. Oh, okay, okay, okay. What do man caves always have a needlessly elaborate version of in kind of sitcoms and movies? A bar. Pool table. it's furniture

a sofa lounge chair lounger no sweating no eating in my lounger no sitting in my chair no sitting in my chair this sounds like a fun cave.

Can't wait to get invited to this cave. I can't wait to be invited to this cave full of rules. Rule number three. The blank is mine. The remote is mine. Four. Blank by invitation only. Drink?

No. Leave? No. Sinister, I like it. Blank by... Entry? Nope. Oh, man. Blank by Entry? Nope Blank by invitation only

I don't know I have to pass on this Women Oh no Let's have something A little boy would say About a treehouse There's literally no girls allowed.

Phil, you've got to make a rule for this because of all these women that you don't know trying to break into your cave full of rules. They got wind of this rule cave, and women being women, they can't stay away. They want a piece. They want a piece of this fun. It's a story as old as time.

The second a man gets a cave, a woman comes a-knockin', if you know what I mean, wanting a slice of this it's a story as old as time the second a man gets a cave a woman comes and knock in if you know what i mean wanting a slice of that cave okay it's just how women are right and uh a phenomenon that you predicted earlier any objections to the rules please refer to rule one ah lovely lovely it's a callback it's a callback It's a callback. It's a callback. It is a callback to be fair. You might not like it, but it works. And then as we end here, the final sign. Never seen it before. Might count as funny. It's at least a novel sentiment.

When I was young, I used to climb mountains. These days, I have to steady myself to fart. Oh. Oh, that's all right. That's all right. That's alright. That's fine. I think that's poetry. It's okay. Yeah, it's fine. I think it taps into some deeper meaning, a deeper truth about the human condition. I'll give this one a pass.

I'd be okay with seeing that sign. It wouldn't terrify me like the rest. Well, that was a treasure trove thank you so much who sent that in that was rosie rosie that's right that was great i love that thank you so much i love that i love that genre of tat it's good it's good stuff and stupid it's so good it's so yeah it's good and and as we get through the correspondence which we are going to do at pace listeners at as best we can there is one coming up phil that i cried laughing at i don't know when it's going to hit us but it's on the way wow what a teaser well um

we must now away to the bonus pod time to go to the bonus pod cave full of rules. Where the lucky among you will join us. Yeah. But do join the lucky by subscribing to the Patreon for more Bud Potty goodness. But until next time. Bye-bye. Enjoy yourselves. All the best of luck to Djokovic. Bye-bye.

Good luck. And good luck to Igor. Bye. Igor.