BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 167 - Bromer's The Brodyssey

Episode Date: June 8, 2022

Phil Wang and Pierre Novellie chat satire, books and movies (ooh!) as well as The Satire Temple, their appearances on Sara Cox's Between The Covers, sounding the same, correspondence from Emily the Bather, the be grateful mug etc Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Budpod167 167 It's Nye Bevan Nye Bevan I would not have bet any amount of money on that being what you were going to say today Well, full disclosure, I had to google just before this started bevan politician um and it reminded me the person's name is nye bevan a welsh labour party politician

that's true and i i'd only really know about nye bevan is that he was labour and had his name Bevan and sort of modern leftists look quite a lot up to him to the NHS being creative that's the guy he's the NHS guy and Bevan boys I think if you're sort of 14 to 18 you could work down a mine or something

if you left school for a bit after the war right to solve personnel shortages. Is that good? And I think maybe instead of conscription, like you could work down a mine because they were just having problems getting enough coal or something.

Anyway, something like that. Well, we could do with, we were just saying we could do with some of that right now, Pierre. The labour, the work shortages in the UK are now. Love a few Bevan boys. That's right. And we're almost uh almost have to be on the lookout for a new prime minister phil

fart fart yes we're recording this the day after uh the monumentous no confidence vote that hasn't really changed anything but so monumentous still it's it's another one of those things of like all the people are pointing out like oh you know theresa may had a better result in her one and she resigned a few months later because basically people just made life impossible for her and thatcher had an even better one and even she resigned and all of this fails to take into account that the whole point of being Boris Johnson is like the whole point of being Donald Trump. When someone goes like, begging your pardon, sir,

but it is convention to resign out of honor, then all you need to have superpowers in a system like ours is just to go, no. No. Yeah, that's the ultimate political superpower in a system like ours is just to go, uh, no. No! Yeah, that's the ultimate political superpower in a free democracy. No! That's all you have to do, it turns out. That's the most damaging,

and I've said this before, that's the most damaging elastic effect of Donald Trump's presidency. It isn't the wall. It isn't all the hateful speech it's it's showing everyone that all you have to do to do whatever you want in a free democracy is to go no and no one can do anything about it that's the most dangerous precedent that donald trump set yeah because even if like because i mean you know he he was able to do it

in america never where they actually have a written constitution in the uk the constitution isn't written down um so it's even easier to just everything's just done by convention our constitution is just a rumor our constitution is just hearsay gossip and rumor i heard our constitution goes to a different school i heard you if you say the british constitution into the toilet in the mirror at midnight three times it appears oh yeah all you can say is that a friend of a friend said that if you receive 180 votes of no confidence then you must resign as prime minister that's just a friend of a friend of mine said i don't know if it's true but that's the word on the street

my cousin's older brother yeah yeah yeah yeah which would normally be your cousin but you know what i'm saying um yeah exactly and so i think that is the legacy because even if in the uk everyone goes, turns out doing things by convention based on honor doesn't work anymore. We should probably replace it with a written down system of rules. Well, that would require constitutional change and that's going to take 50 years slash never.

It's never going to happen. So now the system has got a bug in it where in this video game, your character just can't die as long as you say no when the game says would you like your character to die now no no i want it to be invincible i saw one of the ironies of a free democracy is in order to actually to actually make the constitutional changes that

will strengthen your free democracy you need a xi jinping style autocrat who will be there for 30 years to oversee the completion of those changes. Or at the very least, yeah, or at the very least somehow a Singapore style gang of like, yeah, 10 to 15 intellectuals who sort of go, well, you know, it would be silly if we didn't do this now just quickly and then we'll then the votes. But for now, just figure this out. I mean, like, look, it still muddles along better than a dictatorship. It is better. Yeah. But the fact is that there are bugs in the system from time to time. And I don't really know.

I think Boris Johnson, because, you know, he's safe for 12 months now. Yeah. Well, I mean, only in the only in the sort of strict legal. I mean, yeah, it's only in the rules based sense. of strict legal so i mean yeah it's only in the rules-based sense i mean he's not safe in that his position is obviously weakened and theresa may resigned a couple of months after she quote unquote won her confidence vote so it's yeah yeah but then part of that was because like everyone just kept every time she said she was like a a beleaguered chef or mother every time suggesting a new dish for brexit what about brexit with peas

no and they all they were doing they were knowing her they outnod her teresa may became meg from family guy she'd say how about this brexit and everyone would go shut up meg shut up may that is uh a distressingly apt analogy for the end of her premiership yeah yeah look we all wish that the best political analogies were highbrow but sometimes it's just family guy okay what i was a little shocked by and i this will teach me for gan and for looking at twitter anyway but while it was well once the the result came in that he'd had he'd survived but had 148 uh votes against him which is greater than um is it both theresa well theresa may and margaret thatcher and yeah major it's greater than all of them, yeah. But there are people going on Twitter going, oh well.

What do you mean, oh well? You weren't actually expecting him to lose a vote of no confidence. How have these people, how have you not been paying attention to how politics works? How are we all not sort of master degree level experts

in British politics at this this point we've been watching it so closely for so long how do you not know that these things happen in increments i don't i was astonished i was like what do you mean oh no this is terrible for him i was i was baffled that it was happening at all i was like really they're actually trying i couldn't believe it i couldn't believe it when the news came because i i thought that i thought there were no nowhere near the number enough um letters to the chair of the 1922 committee and it makes me sick that i i know and understand all these terms to be honest hearing me say all this out loud i feel so sad and old meanwhile hearing you say it all with perfect accuracy is giving me a chub. I'm loving it.

Yeah, I was surprised. But apparently one of the turning points was, did you see Boris Johnson getting booed? Yes, as he walked up the steps to the Jubilee service. Yeah, I mean, the kind of people who crowd around a royal church event are not left wing well this is it at first when i when people trying to we're making a big deal out of him getting booed i was like well every prime minister gets booed and then it was pointed out to me that these are people who've gathered to watch the queen walk ups of steps for five seconds and i was like oh okay yeah he should they should they should be on his side really yeah it's it's like crazy people dressed in union jack tuxedos ex-military old ladies

um various sort of functionaries like it should be the ideal crowd for him and they were that's a bad that's a fucking bad sign he really missed a beautiful opportunity to turn around and saying are you saying boo or boo risk and if i want person in the crowd to go i was saying boo risk boris johnson wins the confidence vote by over 300 votes after making a daring last minute simpsons reference i mean a lot of series one to nine fans among the backbenchers knowing this joke country though pierre i i genuinely think it would help him i think i think it would i think he'd secure millennial the millennial vote with one simpsons reference i really do the simpsons reference heard around the world in uh in less in less distressing and and semi-dystopian news though phil i followed

your i've told you about this already but i followed your recommendation and i went to the the old skinema to watch everything everywhere all at once oh yes and what did you think and it was one of the very few so i knew nothing about it going in right i genuinely nothing absolutely nothing all i knew is what you listeners have heard phil say on this podcast which is that it had a lot of chinese actors in it and there was a genuinely i didn't know anything else um and i all the only other thing i knew was that fucking literally everyone i know has been riding that film's dick for the last three weeks everyone seems to love it anyway i went in to watch it um i didn't even know what genre it was i realized in hindsight right yeah yeah i i'd well it sort of defies

genre a little bit but you know you could you could ascribe some some genres to it there's a sci-fi element to it let's say yeah i'd say it is most uh yeah, sci-fi martial arts. Yeah. Indie. Indie sci-fi martial arts. Yeah, indie sci-fi martial arts. But I didn't even know any of that. So I was watching it going like, oh, right, it's like an Asian-American family drama.

And then the sci-fi bit started and I was like, what is happening? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it really takes you by surprise when that starts happening. It's a real face melter of a film. And I will say it was brilliant and it was one of the only films I've ever seen that has lived up to friendship group hype. Yes. Oh, that's great to hear.

That's good to hear. Very few live up to it. I'm looking at you, The Hangover. Were The Hangover lived up to it or didn't live up to it? It didn't, my friend. Everyone I knew for months was going on when The Hangover lived up to it or didn't live up to it? It didn't, my friend. Everyone I knew for months was going on, when The Hangover came out, was overhouse of genius.

And did you see there was a, Mike Tyson was in it and there was a tiger. And, oh, it's like the new Anchorman. It'll be like, it'll replace Anchorman and everyone's kind of constellation of naughty humor or whenever it was. And I watched it and I was like, yeah, it's pretty funny. It's sort of fine, isn it i think it's um i just i wish i wish i knew what i would

have thought of it if i didn't if i'd just seen it cold yeah that that was that was the prize i managed to accidentally give myself with everything everywhere all at once you can't see it much colder than not even knowing that it's going to get sci-fi yeah i i think i think the um i think hangover for me is the sort of maybe i guess my favorite version of a film style i really don't like which is that sort of dude kind of like doody american pie um kind of like let's it's a bit of a bro film it's a bro film right ah but let's let's try and be as accurate in our description of it as possible because i think we can agree that you've got american pie you got the hangover you have euro trip to an extent yeah yeah uh what else is in that category there's a lot isn't there any trip based like spring break

anything with sortara reed in the noughties um harold and kumar go to white castle yeah um yes yes yes uh a substance uh no drug well if we as long as we make sure that we remember that alcohol is a drug drug bro adventure film yeah drug broke drug bro quest drug broke drug bro noir

yeah drug yeah okay yeah drug bro trip yeah okay yeah drug pro trip yeah yeah yeah how about a brodacy brodacy

it's a brodacy brodacy broma's the brodacy the illy lad oh the illy lad oh broma's the illy lad i have my god brodicious that's so good i'm such a huge fan of that but it is the odyssey i mean that the hangover is pretty much literally the odyssey right they get they're they're swept off course

and they have to try and find their way back and they're beset by uh uh all these witches and monsters and all these challenges blow them further of course and yeah yeah it's a prodigy he has to get back to his wife that's it yeah's a he has to get back to his wife that's it yeah exactly he literally has to get back to his wife in it's funny how many adventure stories boil down to a guy just going I've just got to get back to my wife the

and what Harold and Kuma is a um yes definitely interesting I really hope Mark Kermode picks up on this term the prodigy well he better because otherwise i think it should become as widespread as the chick flick in terms of our um movie terms the prodigy and the chick flick yes yes yes yes yes yes and even rom-com even there's something as simple as rom-com. Yes, I think we should popularize this. Because for women-targeted films, they don't have an Odyssey element, really, do they?

Can you think of a... The Odyssey always seems to be sort of like the quest or journey of the internal, isn't it? Interesting, yes. Yes. I guess... journey of the internal isn't it interesting yes yes um i guess is it because we have external sexual organs and women have internal sexual organs is that all that and so our our odysseys are external as well and their odysseys internal as well i like it it's freudian and it's early 20th century but i do like I do like it a lot, actually. I'm a century too late.

I'm a century too late. Yeah. Yeah. Too late to win some sort of Freudian prize, too early to be cancelled for talking about, I don't know, somehow trying to gender genre in a way that just doesn't fit. At some point, that would be bad.

I like it a lot. I like that theory. Men also are made to sort of think about external adventures a lot and not work on themselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Women may be too much the other way. That could be it. A man will literally venture to Hades

before he goes to therapy yeah phil phil men will literally capture the golden fleece instead of going to therapy okay men men will literally try and capture a golden fleece with their argonauts instead of taking themselves and their Argonauts to therapy. what about what about um you the the you know your your your friend and mine the famous never ending christmas film the holiday that's quite oh god the world's longest film yeah the world's it's some say it's still going now you once you finish watching the holiday you need a bloody holiday I've never finished the holiday it's like infinite jest for me

I will never finish it even though I know I should really pretentious young men like to boast about having finished the holiday I've actually watched it twice. People are like, fucking hell, man. How'd you do that?

Oh, man. That film's got about 17 endings. Even thinking about the holiday bores me. I'm getting bored just thinking about it now. Is that count as an odyssey where they just swap houses and I guess then they're on an adventure? But then they stay in those houses.

They literally stay. No. Sometimes people call something an odyssey and what they just mean is long. They mean epic. Yes, that's not the same. Yeah, the holiday is an epic.

I'm happy to say that. It's an epic, yeah, but it's not an odyssey. That's a good point. Yeah. That's a good point. I'm trying to think of a lady odyssey that's a good point yeah that's a good point i'm trying to think of a lady odyssey now there's got to be one sisterhood of the traveling pants is that an odyssey i don't know i've never seen it but the title implies to me that traveling

happens book smart is almost an odyssey but yes i don't know and maybe i think books might maybe my favorite comedy film of the last decade. I think it's so good. Booksmart's great. It's so good. I still laugh thinking about your panic attack in the bit where it turns out all the other dipshits in the year are actually quite smart. Or that they've gone to good universities. Yeah. Or truly horrible feeling.

And so well observed. Yeah, I had a visceral reaction to this in the cinema when the cool kids got into like yale or whatever um it was yeah so funny it's that's a great that's a great um it it you know it owes it owes something to the to the broadest sea of uh of uh of super bad right yes that's a good point that is a good point. That is a good point. But it's you know. A good demonstration of the fact.

That it doesn't have to be a bradesi. To work like a bradesi works. It can be a wadesi. No. The thing is. Any ancient classical story. About a woman traveling somewhere just ends horribly for her she just gets generally end up trapped in hell or she gets turned into a shrub

or yeah she's eaten by an antelope or yes it never ends well zeus zeus has sex with her like as a big swan yeah the the yeah the the the sort of the moral of every tale about a woman in greek mythology is and that's why girls you should never leave the house so i don't think there is an equivalent in greek mythology yeah dad i want to go on an adventure well let me tell you about someone who once tried that and she's still trapped in hell now that's why we have winter that's why it's cold tonight because of people like you

that's why it's snowing now and your dog died that's so funny. That's why we have winter. That's why we have winter now. Okay, goodnight everyone, bye. That would be the Greek dad. Shortly before he sends his 13-year-old

to take part in the Siege of Troy. Oh, book recommendation. If you haven't read Circe by Madeline Miller. Circe by Madeline Miller. She's a classicist who's written a novel about one of the lesser known nymphs

in Greek mythology but made her quite powerful and interesting and flesh out a story. And it's such a good book. It's so well written. It's so thrilling. If you're into greek mythology you'll oh great cersei by madeline miller oh okay good recommendation speaking of book recommendations

phil uh as you listen to this listeners if you listen to on day of release wednesday the 8th of june speaking of books i will be on sarah cox's between the Covers tonight. Oh, wonderful. BBC 2 on Wednesday, today. Yeah, BBC 2 at 7.30. Let me find the details here. I got them written down in an email. Where is it? Oh, I'm bad at

looking through my emails. Between the Covers. Between the Covers. Yes, there we go. BBC 2 wednesday the 8th of june 7 30 it's uh we're looking at metronome by tom watson which is a brand new book i don't know it's like it's barely out oh no it is out but it's only been out for a couple of months it's it's it's good stuff only the first 10 pages are out yeah oh no i'm kidding um a little bit just the tip is out the secret river by kate grenville very good and it's me emily sanday kate botley and adrian

scarborough emily sunday the musician yes well I haven't heard that name in a while. Yes. Give it a little watch. And Adrian Scarborough is such a cool acting guy that he doesn't even have social media, Phil. How about that? Very jealous of that. Oh, I love that sort of thing.

It's so attractive. It's so nice. And it's sort of, it feels like such a kind of, it feels like someone who still retains some sort of medieval privilege. You know, there's nothing hotter than when you first start dating someone you you find their instagram account and they have like six pictures over nine years that is so hot to me that is so cool i love that you know i mean well listeners

now you know how to get phil attention. It's through not posting thirst traps. Did you talk to Sarah about Budpod? Because Sarah Cox is, of course, a pod bud. She's one of our greatest pod buds. Yes, she is. Hello, Sarah. Hello, Sarah. We hope you are well as you listen to this.

I did a little bit very briefly. We had some banter about Grandma Caveman. Wonderful. About Popfys Clink. Although the studio was still observing maximum. This was all done in March. It was still maximum COVID safety vibes. And they filmed a bunch in a day.

So it was quite efficient. We're in and out. Sarah Cox was there dressed in a army drill sergeant uniform finger in face what do you think of the book i liked it would you recommend it yes ma'am um next book it was great i i did that show i think last year and I got to meet Sophie Ellis-Bexter, which was great. Ooh. She's so cool, and she encouraged me to steal a book from set,

which I did. Oh, did you? Yeah, she was like, just take it, because they dress the set with copies of the book that you're reading. Oh, we were told we could just have those. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Well, we weren't explicitly told that.

I only took it because Sophie said, just take it. And I said, Sophie, is this theft on the dance floor? I didn't, but I really wish I had now. Oh, yeah. Well, you should DM her that now no context months later yeah

although the book that she told me to take was one that she brought which she loved which was Hangover Square which I became briefly obsessed with Hangover Square by Patrick Hamilton it's so good I remember you telling me about this book yeah I need to I need to read that yeah no when we did it uh in march they just were

like yeah yeah you swap them you can have of each other's recommendations have a look at them um and i said why why are you so nice and they said oh this eurasian guy anyway they were very vague about it but then some people were crying and um they were posters up saying look out for this man uh and he kind of looked like you but i don't know i don't think it's a link it may have been gokwan or james wong i was your only lookalikes well i thought well james wong is a sound alike of mine we have very similar voices um voices and kind of similar face. There was a Eurasian reporter on Newsnight last night.

Ben Chu. Have you heard of Ben Chu? No. I was astonished. And now to Ben Chu. I was like, huh? And he turned up and he had my skin colour. Ben Chu. Oh, wow. I got some feedback from appearing on the Have a Word podcast

hosted by Adam Rowe and Dan Nightingale. Oh, yes. And also Carl and everyone else saying that they were listening without checking who it was. Well, they didn't know who I was, but then they're listening and they went, who's this guy who kind of sounds like Phil Wang? Really? Yeah, they said I have some of your cadences,

which is true. Sometimes I can catch myself doing a Wang. Well, I don't know, because we've known each other for so long. There's definitely been some cross-contamination. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so this guy heard that and then in searching for an explanation, discovered Bud Pod. That's fucking mad. Yeah. Good ears on that guy. Yeah. Do you think people who sound similar are drawn to one another is it is it i guess it's a nature versus nurture quandary do we sound like this because we met one another or do we have we met one another

because we sound like this yes and it's further complicated by the fact that you and i uh grew up with our our manner of speaking when we're trying to be humorous influenced by all the same stand-ups yeah there's that um i was watching very similar tv uh yeah yeah yeah it's colonial english all sorts colonial english yeah we both got sent to that same uh camp in siberia to train yes yes that was very uh influential when we all had to have shaved heads and stand in a row yeah it was like in batman begins yes yeah but they were just training us to riff but with a long piece of bamboo they had to like whack each other with um on a lot yeah exactly smack each other with a bamboo and say yes and that hurts

that's like if that's like if what Boris Johnson has claimed a vote 148 no confidence votes as a victory that's like if that's like if what that's like if I burnt half of my rice and said it was a good dinner

terrible try again I love the idea of like a you know when you see like a thousand shaolin monks in like a big square yeah yeah yeah all the all yeah yeah all synchronized and they all someone reads like a guy in a big robe reads out a piece of a summary of something from bbc news and the whole crowd chants that's like f and then he points with a big scroll at a random neophyte who then has to yell out his riff and if it's not good enough all surrounding like you know there's like a square that's like nine like three three three yeah all all the other acolytes surrounding him just have to kick the fuck out of him if it's not good enough and they're doing it through gritted teeth it is my duty i'm sorry i still that's your most devastating critique of almost all satirical stand-up ever phil is when you pointed out to me the the prevalence of that's like if

yes the that's like if structure of any joke you you you tell the news story they say that's like if and then you describe a humorous situation that has nothing to do with the news but that you could map some kind of analogy with but that really doesn't mean anything yeah i the problem with that's like if and you know i'm snobby about it but i it's it's hard not to do it's like it just it's this it's this kind of it's this joke format you can kind of use again and again and again and it kind of always works i try and use it as little as i can i'm guilty of in my last in last in my last have i gone is for you appearance which was last week yes um uh i'm i'm guilty of one in that in that episode well that's what made your critique so devastating is how unavoidable the sin is yeah that's much it's a much worse critique if it's

something that you're you're sort of if not dependent on then certainly intermittently reliant on yeah yeah i think i try and make sure at the very least no more than once per appearance will i use a that's like if what's like if it'd be quite good to do an edmund frinn show just entirely of that's like ifs well i wanted to make a sketch of um making fun of some satire shows and the show's called that's like if like doing doing a sort of john oliver uh steven um steve um steven colbert type show called that's like if oh it's it's it's devastating it makes me feel a bit ill thinking about it it makes you feel a little bit that's like if um let me think it's a call okay a type of comedy

makes you feel up here that's like if a type of acorn made a squirrel ill because it needs it needs the acorn it's true he's right he's right all right well that's like if it's time to do some correspondence okay that's yeah that's that's like if it is. It is, yeah. Ringwings. E-mails. Phone calligraphies. Twits. Your sister.

And keep it straight. I feel. To cool me. Ringwills. Correspondence. Oh boy. Oh boy. We've got a little e-mail from a different to last time Emily Emily

you're a gem-ily Emily you're a gem to me there we go a little multi-syllabic very nice very nice I feel great affection to that good

so it's called flat tat attack I feel great affection to that. Good. I like it a lot. So, it's called Flat Tat Attack. Flat Tat Attack? Flat Tat Attack. Dear Pooh Air No Smelly and Foul Tang. Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Pooh Air... So you're not smelly? If you're Pooh Air No you're no smelly she's basically she's saying she's saying your shit don't stink pierre she's saying my shit don't stink but she's saying that my air is still full of shit but it doesn't stink that's why it's so impressive that the air doesn't stink it's but it's no smelly poo air no smelly and you're a foul tang but tang is a taste so you're being licked but a foul tang is a very good description of like hot

old rubbish yeah sour bin um yeah it'd be good to lift up in summer you lift the lid of your own kitchen bin and go what is this foul tang there's a description that Amyy schumer uses a

couple i've seen her use a couple of times both in a sketch show uh and maybe something else of um something smelling like hot summertime chinatown garbage a bag of hot summertime a summertime chinatown garbage um oh wow and when i hear foul tang that's what i think of that hot like hot yeah hot country garbage seafood element in there i've got some bits of fish in my bin right now from a couple of days ago and it's really starting to take over and i don't have enough rubbish in the bin bag yet to take it out so i know i've got a couple more days of this left to see how bad it gets yeah it's good for you to stay strong for the planet yeah yeah um hot was it hot summertime chinatown garbage yeah i think that's it that would be a such a good name for a

show for you hot summertime chinatertime Chinatown Garbage. Yeah, yeah, it would, but I'm afraid not. Like one of those posters where the title takes up most of the poster and it's in bubble writing. Yes, yes, yes. With an exclamation mark. Hot Summertime Chinatown Garbage. Anyway. Anyway.

Emily says, I shall start off by saying that your podcast gives me much pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasures of the ear canal. Plug in and experience it. Yeah. She says, your podcast gives me much pleasure.

And I think it's great. I've just moved into uni accommodation for my first year at the University of Bath. Oh, wonderful. Yes. My family lives in Bath, kind of. Your family are kind of in the Bath. So she... Hang on.

I've lost it now. What am I doing? During the past few weeks when no podcast has been recorded i think it was our summer holiday that this refers to ah oh yes it's late summer to be fair september i've been listening to the audio version of phil's memoir crossed out collection of essays that came out last month wonderful yeah thank you emily as a new bather or barter what i think a resident of Bath should be called, it has been exciting to hear him mention the place I now call home. However, it has not all been fun and games.

I know. This email is quite ranty, but I'm alone in a new city with no one to rant to. Thus, I have turned to two comedians who like bum jokes to have a one-way bitching session. Thank fuck for your tat-tat-tack section, otherwise I would have to suppress my petty anger I've been put in a flat with four very nice people three people I never see leave their rooms

and one very loud obnoxious girl who thinks the things on the side of innocent smoothie bottles are funny oh no that is such a vivid so platonic ideal description of That is such a vivid, so platonic ideal description of a student flat to me,

of meeting people in student halls in your first year. It's like, yeah, a bunch of them just don't leave their rooms. And then the ones who do find whackaging funny. Yeah, they love it. It's a damning assessment.

So this loud, obnoxious girl who thinks the things on the side of innocent smoothie bottles are funny, she goes for a 6K run every day and is partial to tat. Wow. What's that called when you're addicted to exercise? Is it called not having a personality pf i don't mean that it's got some new it's some new thing it's it's it's it's bad for you it's

a thing is it actually what is it called i guess 6k a day doesn't sound great for your joints yes it's got a name it was on bbc news ages ago addiction to your exercise it's got some special presentation to eating disorders. Got to keep an eye on these people if they run that much. Oh, really? Interesting. Yeah, they just get obsessed. I'm not getting a name come up.

It's actually very hard to find what this could be called. Yeah, because if you Google addiction to exercise, it's awful of like basically spam websites anyway so this this this lady who you should keep an eye on loves tat right another reason to keep an eye on her yeah and emily says this tat has started to spill out of her room and into our reasonably small kitchen oh no every other morning there is a new piece of meaningless shit and i couldn't think of anyone better to share with first of all we have a poster a3 in size that is uh yeah okay bit bigger than an a4 oh no it's twice the size of an a4 yeah it's a big yellow poster it's quite

a nice design i suppose like lemon yellow background and in white and black quite bold font. It says, Phil, three words, no blank blank. What do you think? No bad vibes. Yes! Yeah! He's back! He's back, baby!

The bitch is back! He's back. The bitch is back he's back the bitch is back um so emily says no bad vibes which on my account could not be further from the truth this poster fills me with bad vibes and gives me the urge to burn everything down um did she foresee i don't understand what the point is did she foresee that i would find her tat extremely irritating and decide to lay down the law before the annoyance occurred and what is the consequence for having bad vibes if i bad vibes if bad vibes enter the flat i highly doubt they're going to see the

poster and flee yeah like vampires and a cross yes i mean our only thing about a poster that says no bad vibes is that it's so passive aggressive and obnoxious that you're only ensuring bad vibes. Yes. And it means that if anyone tries to confront you about anything, you could sort of silently point to a poster. Tap, tap, tap. I think you'll find that the poster has this chat covered. Hack here. The next poster makes absolutely no

sense, she says. So I'll say to you, Phil, it's life's a blank and then you blank. What, life's a bitch and then you die? No, it's a play on that. Life's a beach and then you tan.

Ooh, you're so close. Life's a beach and then you... It's a sound alike. Okay, life's a beach and then you... dive. Yay! Yay! So it's life's a beach and then you dive.

And the word dive has got within the boundaries of the letters an illustration of like a diver and some octopuses and fish and stuff. So it's unclear. I guess it's a pro scuba diving poster. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was this poster made by the scuba diving board?

Yeah. Well, Emily says it makes no sense and and says can you explain what this could even mean yes because of diving areas they're rarely beach areas right because that's the whole different kind of yes well actually emily actually says can you explain to me what this could mean where are you diving into the sea from the beach. Because as far as I'm aware, you'll be diving into very shallow water. That's it exactly, yeah. Yes, that is odd.

Why buy that on a poster? I would be surprised to find that poster in the house of a scuba diving instructor. Well, yeah, because they know you can't go diving from a beach. find that poster in the house of a scuba diving instructor well yeah because even someone like that i would see the poster well yeah but i i would see the poster and i'd be like oh do you do you not get enough of that in the week yeah how into this are you you know it doesn't i mean bath is quite inland so it's a strange poster to have in Bath. Yeah, it's not a nautical town, is it?

No. Unless you mean diving into the natural hot springs. Bath's famous hot springs. An even more confusing poster. Life's a hot spring and then you dive in a big picture of an octopus. People are like, what the fuck are you on about? Very strange. So the third final piece of tat is my particular favorite, by which I mean I hate it the most.

It is a black mug with white writing on it, Phil. Yeah. And it's, hang on. I'm going to have to read it to myself silently for a moment because it's genuinely quite a confusing sentence. Okay. No, there we go. Okay, so here we go, Phil. Let's see. Never let the things you blank make you forget the things you blank.

Never let the things you blank make you forget the things you blank. Never let the things you lose make you forget the things you blank never let the things you lose make you forget the things you have oh you've got have it's not lose though you've got the right idea that's wistful nevertheless never let the things you want let you forget the things you have

yes very nice never let the things you want make you forget the things you have it's quite clunky isn't it never let the things you want make you yeah the thing is make you forget is not nice um it's not a good word for asian make you forget i mean you could if i was a copy editor i would just say could the mug just say be grateful that's a very different sentiment if someone just hangs you a cup of tea they made you and it on it just says

be grateful you hand it to them with this sort of stony face yeah expression and also like it doesn't have an exclamation marker and accompanying smiley face it's just text yeah just like sans serif text yes ariel just be grateful courier yeah yes you go fucking hell whose mug is this i don't know it just appeared one day that's a funny mug just like typewriter text be grateful full stop be grateful be shush

just a mug that says shush laughing laughing laughing laughing so assuming she owned at least one mug before buying this one it's very hypocritical that's true oh yeah she bought this because she wanted it but forgot about the mug she had at home that's funny that is funny that is funny therefore going against the new mantra she was trying to

employ she forgot about the other mugs uh says emily exclamation mark oh they are also probably plastered with some stupid phrase or quote but this is maybe the best out of the tatty bunch and now see it as my side quest to get this tat out of the flat ace up thanks for everything koji emily thank you emily hope you have a wonderful time at university and uh thank you for a great email yeah some some really yeah some some obnoxious tat there but i don't think the most egregious examples we've seen what is worrying though is that it's got someone so young yeah that's the worrying thing it's so sad when it happens to someone that young but there's still time yes yes that's true you know what it is i think she runs so much that she actually has too many endorphins she's in too much of a good mood

too much of the time and that leaves her susceptible to these kind of these sort of saccharine vapid phrases yes I think that's right when you're in such an amazing frame of mind after all these runs

you read a poster that says life's a beach and then you dive and you're like such an amazing frame of mind after all these runs, you read a poster that says, life's a beach, and then you dive. And you're like, yes! Yes! Ha, ha, ha, ha. Wonderful. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Marvelous!

That kind of thing. Yeah. Whereas when you exercise as little as I do, you look at someone like that and you go, you stupid pricks. Who thought this was a good idea? Throw it in the bin. pricks who thought this was a good idea throw it in the bin as you say as you say all that but you've got like a big mouthful

of something there's a crumb spray onto the poster idiots yeah unmotivated folk like us no time for this sort of thing and there's no time for any more correspondents. That was a good old whisperer little chunk there.

And now we've got to go to the office break room of the Patreon. Yes, so where we have spicy office coffee break chats and gossip about the other employees and politics

and the culture wars. So if you want to listen in on that spicy stuff, then sign on up to the Patreon. Oh, yeah. Well, and thank you very much for listening, guys, and I shall see you. We shall talk to you next week. Yes. Bye. See you then. Bye.