BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 178 - Echoey Bin Boys

Episode Date: August 24, 2022

The lads are echoey and knackered, bin strikes and fringe exhaustion abound! Being old, trying to find cables from caves, the brilliance of Johnny White Really Really, cold fusion, anti murder pro nuclear Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Budpod 178, I believe. 178... This might not sound great. Yes, it might not sound great, because I've lost the connector for our fancy microphone. Yes, Pierre has. But that is something that we will take responsibility for as a team. Yes.

That's what the Budpod ethic is. We've just been scanning uh crawling over the streets of edinburgh trying to find a replacement cable but yeah we went to the place that sells tvs we went to the weird place that sells phone accessories from the 90s and noughties and vapes and vapes vapes and vapes we went to the pretentious music shop for actual music kit we went to a DJ equipment shop that had when we turned up it had a yellow crime scene it looked like it looked like police do not cross tape across the front door and as an assigned that said it was open but that you could only enter on appointment.

Yeah, and the door was locked. And inside, it wasn't set up like a shop. It was set up like a mad room full of those DJ suitcases. And in it were two old men who looked too old for the equipment they were selling, really. Yeah. They looked like Mr. Ollivander from the wand they were selling really. They look like Mr. Ollivander from the wand shop in Harry Potter. They look like they should have been selling gramophones and that microphone that all the

crooners have in the photos. It looks like a mask from the new Star Wars. It looks like a Sith. It's got horizontal lines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's all shiny. And we knocked on the door and the guy squatted over and said, yes, can I help you? And so instantly I was like,

okay, so it's not by appointment only then. Yeah, you're just mad. For some reason people have been, I don't know, bothering you here in this DJ cave. Parting you from your precious stock they were the kind of old guys that they should be looking at gems through a little glass thing in their eye yeah they were guarding their their their their stock of mixing desks

and subwoofers with the jealousy of a dragon guarding its pile of gold. It was very odd. It's the kind of shop that you enter that makes you go, why did you open a shop? This feels like the last thing you wanted to do. Who's made you do this? Who cursed you?

Which witch did you insult? When you said to the witch, I wish I had access to loads of DJ equipment. And the horrible curse part of the wish was, you'll have to run a shop. No, I hate the public. It was weird. It was thoroughly strange.

And isn't it weird, Phil, that even those men, and how extremely old they were, you sort of go, oh, they were old. They shouldn't be doing modern DJ stuff. And then you go, wait, Mick Jagger's old? That's true. And it's really hard to get your head around the fact that when you meet someone who's the age of Mick Jagger,

which I guess is, what, 75, I'm guessing? Mm-hmm. That there's a non-zero chance that, of Mick Jagger, which I guess is what, 75, I'm guessing? Mm-hmm. That there's a non-zero chance that, like Mick Jagger, in the 70s, they were just wearing leather pants and constantly fucking. Yeah, it's totally the thing. And, you know, when you see someone, like a photo or video of someone who, like,

was there at the birth of the internet, they're, like, they're fucking old. Yeah. And you go, oh, yeah, I guess you would be old. But they look like the birth of the internet. They're like, they're fucking old. Yeah. And you go, oh yeah, I guess you would be old. But they look like the kind of people that you normally have to help to just physically open the laptop. That's it, yeah.

Because they look like your parents, so you're like, they can't know what they're doing, but they invented it. Yeah, you go, there's no way. When you get gray hair, the grayness is the memory of cool stuff leaving. I remember when I first started, I think it was my first show,

I did a lesser comedy festival, and I was in this tiny, poxy little room, and I think there were maybe six people in or something. Yeah. And I had a bit about, like, talking on my computers and going, oh, you know, people don't understand computers, and I just pointed at some random guy in the front and was like, oh, you probably don't know

what I'm talking about. And he was like, I was like a developer in the 80s, I know more than you do. I was like, oh fuck, okay. And from that point on I've just made a rule of not assuming that kind of thing about people. Like I remember a couple of years later seeing a comedian who's a gay guy who you know and you're doing a joke about oh you know you probably don't know you're a straight white man are you oh you guys don't know what my life is like straight white man pointed at the guy in the front and you don't know what I'm talking about do you

and the guy's like I marched on stonewall I'm the original yeah i'm the og your i walk so you could fly i'm the og the original gay and yeah and i watched it happen and i went yeah it's computer guy there's computer guy right there he that's him learning the lesson i learned yeah a few years ago um but like i wish i lived in a world where when i did a gig in front of a bunch of old people that I was like discovering that the whole time in the 70s they were all like banging in a commune or like trying to sell blow in Mexico or something. But then they're always really conservative and you go, well, what were you fucking up to then?

What do you mean? Well, like this thing does happen, but it is an exception, right? Yeah. So I'm always annoyed around like, well, why can't you be like the cool old people where were you when the cool shit

was happening yeah and who are those people in our year as it were now yes so that when we have grey hair

we could say things like I did the fringe I used to do gigs we called them I think about this sometimes when we're old when we're old will we be one of the

cool old people who surprise the young comics at the gig? When they ask us, like, you probably don't know what I'm talking about. Just you and me sat next to each other. We were the first. We created the first worldwide phenomenon podcast.

You don't know what you're talking about. We invented the podcast. Have you heard of anti-murder? You know how every podcast is anti-murder now? Well, it was a lonely few years. You know how on every banknote it says Koji to the king? Where do you think that came from? And everyone's like, what?

We came up with it. Ever laughed at a poo? Thought so. Thought so. You're welcome. You've heard the fable of the lady who shat her pussy. I just thought that was an urban myth. No! It happened!

It was real. It was real! The nurse comes and sedates us. A couple of syringes, okay Mr Wang, that's enough for today. It's a syringe just like thwacking into the back of our necks. Yeah like those army morphine needles, they just go wham into your arm. It's not even like a plunge, they just slam it in. And we're like, it was real, she shot her pussy. We're just asleep.

We're powering down. Yeah, I think it will be pretty cool. But I think that, you know, like all the cool old people, we'll develop some sort of like unforeseeable reactionary view. Right. Like society will be so different

that we can't predict what will make us unreasonably upset. Yeah, that's true. And I think that is destined to happen. I think it has to happen. I think it's a natural order of things. I think I've accepted that in advance in the same way I've accepted that I will get wrinkles.

Yes. You just go, yeah, I can avoid it, but only with a lot of effort. And almost, actually, when I see old people who are now very down with the kids' perspectives on politics and stuff, I kind of think, it's a bit embarrassing. Grow up.

Yeah, grow up. That's what I think. Give me some bigotry. Come on. Be yourself. Don't... Hey, don't worry about the cool kids. Grow a spine, yeah.

Grow a curved spine. I wonder what it'll be. It could be fucking anything. You can't predict it. I bet it'll be AI rights. That's what I'm going to be a bigot about. I'm like, they're fucking circuit boards. And everyone at the gig's like.

Yeah, we'll say things like, but can't you just turn them off? People will go, you can turn people off as well, yeah, by killing them. And we're going to be like, oh, that's kind of true, but it's not the same. It is the same. Restarts are violence. I think it's going to be that, or maybe there'll be aliens. Maybe meat. Meat is very likely. I think it's going to be that or maybe like there'll be aliens or maybe meat or meat

meat is very unlikely or maybe there'll be like some weird recursive thing where it's like rights for the Catholic Church yes that's very likely isn't it that's very likely

well you'll just be like well when I was young they were bad they were in charge kind of a bit in some places and it was bad and people going like

well the world's changed now they're under threat now and you'd have to go oh I don't like that. Yeah it's interesting isn't it that sort of, the Hitchens Dawkins era of popular angry atheism is past now

I guess because the battle's been pretty decisively won especially in the UK. In the UK it has. In America, it's just like... Yeah, but in the UK, making fun of Christians, it's punching down now, which is crazy. It's weird because it's like there's a state religion, and the queen is the head of it.

So it doesn't get much more establishment than that. And when you go, oh, do you like Jesus? Everybody's like, oh, God. Leave him alone leave him like pointing at the Archbishop of Canterbury leave him alone look at him yeah the Archbishop of Canterbury dips his head and you can literally hear the jewels clangling

clangling come on man that's not cool you made him clank his jewels you proud of yourself? You proud of yourself, boy? That's so funny. Yeah, I think there could be something completely unexpected like that. I'm amazed that that hasn't happened more with just like Christians in like Egypt.

Like anywhere in the Middle East. Where the Christians had to like flee. Well, they were fleeing or being constantly fucking bombed and murdered and yeah but you know that would require some application of logic to international affairs or interest or interest or interest yeah uh well we're here in the final run of the fringe everyone so if you if you want to we're going to paint for the listeners who don't understand we're going to paint you a mood board right imagine if you've ever been on like a three-day weekend festival a music festival we're currently it's the sunday afternoon yes yes yes before the bank holiday monday. We've been here since Friday night.

We had it absolutely large on Friday and Saturday. And now it's a Sunday afternoon. And it's essentially over, but you can't completely relax yet. No, because there's still kind of another night. And there's still loads of stuff on. But also you're thinking about tomorrow and like, oh, there's going to be a lot of traffic and stuff. Because the roads aren't designed for the number of people here. Yeah.

And you sort of go, oh, should I risk trying to use a horrible shower? Should I just power through? Yeah, you're still living in the moment, but you're starting to plan your exit. Yeah. I'm leaving tomorrow at noon. And I keep toying with the idea of staying a couple more days because it's just so fun but I'm just postponing. I've got to get back

and do work. I've got to go buy curtains. I've got to go home and buy curtains. Buying curtains is the opposite of the fringe. I think that's fair to say. I'm coming up to a year in my new place and I haven't had curtains for the whole year.

You're the most naturally aligned to daylight man. Yes. You've been living on the same sort of body clock as early man. Or a bird. Actually, more like a bird, because early man would have at least had a cave. Yeah. I'm sad to be leaving.

It's been a lot of fun. Thanks to all the pod buds who came to my show my run my limited run is now finished and it was a blast so if you came

thank you kindly if you didn't and would like to I'm on tour in the spring which feels like a long way away now but it'll be

it'll happen soon enough so do check out my website for any dates Pierre has another week of his excellent excellent show to perform till Sunday baby

till Sunday so if you're around we drop in we just saw Johnny White Really Really hero of the podcast hero of our hearts

yes truly truly magnificent underground comic who is... His shows are like stand-up, but if stand-up was... I don't know how you describe it. Like a poem or a classic novel?

Yes, yes, yes. It's something I've never seen before. And I think when you watch or have to be around as much stand-up as we do, you end up being like, you can categorize stuff fairly easily. So if someone comes on stage and is like, you know, what's the fucking deal? We're like a big lad. Give me a chair if you fucking want.

You'd be like, yeah, I know this guy. Even if it's a guy you've never met before you're like yeah this is like the kind of like Saturday night bit laddy category of comedy

or blah blah blah or someone comes on and they're being very sassy you go yeah yeah sassy yep I know there's four or five people

who are quite sassy who I've seen or even one liner guys or musical comedy or whatever stuff has categories or stylistic patterns yeah

but I can't think of anything that's like what Johnny does no no I can't think of anything that's like what Johnny does no no I can't think of anyone that does it like he does it's it's own thing and guys if you want to check it out

and give him some money as well I think it's optional you don't have to but it would be nice if you did if you go on to if you search band camp Johnny White really really

there's a show called Pigeons Pigeons is fantastic and then the Animals of Farthing Wood, I think, is the other special. And they're like hour-long stand-up specials, but without an audience. So it's more like an audio book

and you have to just listen and decide where the things are funny or not. And I think if you like this podcast, and especially if you like our correspondence, you should love it. Because, yeah, it's beautifully written. It's so nicely written. And today's show was a special one-off

at the Fringe, and it was great. Yeah. We both left feeling spiritually cleansed and energized. But then dirty, Pierre, by the streets of Edinburgh, which are currently feral. Yes. Because the bin men are on strike. The bin men, and indeed the bin women, and the bin them. The bin them.

All the bin people are on strike. Although I haven't seen any. They have all the the bin them. The bin them. All the bin people are on strike. Although I haven't seen any... They have all... The striking bin men, they're bin men. But anyway, the point is they're on strike. And what a month to go on strike. It is literally the... It is literally the plot of Joker.

Yes. The streets are filled with trash. It's that kind of sentiment and they really are like it is pretty fucking

bins are overflowing and it's just like it's fucking gross yeah rotting garbage in the street it's real it's filled with world stuff

it looks like footage you see from like New York in the late 70s well I was just about to say the last time I was in this much urban filth was San Francisco.

Yeah. Or downtown Portland. Yeah. Which are also messes. And like the fringe is normally quite a rubbishy sort of

street vibe. So for us to say it's filthy you've got to understand the scale of what we mean. It's like. And we like poo.

And we think poo's great. We're poo fans. We're on board. We're on board. We're on board. And even we're like, come on. Everything in its place. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everything where nature intended it to be. It looks like every square meter of street is like in the morning when a fox tipped over your bin. Yeah. Or ripped open a bag and the wind has just gone bleh. And it's just like non-decomposing rubbish as well. ripped open a bag and the wind has just gone yeah and this is like pen on non decomposing rubbish as well yeah it's all very watchmen yes yes dystopian very dystopian and and as we briefly bumped into friend friend of ours and good comedian Tom Rosenthal oh yeah and he was pointing out that it was like the

kind of horrible metaphor where it's like there's just like rubbish and like crap everywhere and like plastic bottles rattling about and just people handing out pictures

of their own face or whatever. It's like comedy? Comedy? Yeah, yeah. People literally looking for distraction in a tip. Yeah.

And people handing out rubbish. Yeah. Random bits of paper to add to the rubbish. Yeah. Random bits of paper to add to the rubbish. There we go. Just like as if someone had stood in the middle of the street with one of those like 100 packs of napkins and was just going la la la la la and just throwing them into the air.

Ugh. The sooner the fringe goes completely digital, the better. Yeah, I'm trying to think. There must be a digital equivalent to flyering. I mean, I guess it's just sponsored posts. And then I guess you'd be trying to out-budget each other for the targeted sponsored posts for people on Instagram who like comedy. Also, the point of flyering is that you could connect with someone

who wouldn't have seen it otherwise. And stuff you'll get targeted with will always be contingent on some algorithm's decision on who you are as a person. So, you know, it will never be exactly the same unless there's some kind of randomized... Also, if you're good at flyering, you can talk yourself from an empty room in the morning to a full room by the time you do your show at night. Yeah. It's very, like, old school skill. A lot of people don't have the charisma or the energy, but it is possible.

My main issue with it is just the waste. I just or the energy but it is possible my main issue with it is just a waste i just hate the waste of it it's tremendously wasteful and we wouldn't need it to be so wasteful if people could just hold details in their memory for even a second unless the equivalent is like flyers just have qr codes and they just go to people say hey can i tell you about my show and then if the person likes it, they just take the camera and they... Well, it's just like a sandwich board or something. Yeah. I mean, like my flyers have QR codes, but it's... But still on a flyer.

It still has to be handed out to some degree. Yeah. It is a shame, but I guess like, you know, the booming printing industry is a big fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the pocket of a big print, big printer. We are. I guess overall, there's still a lot less paper going around than there used to be. Yeah, well, there's just...

Because, I mean, do you think the reduction in sort of notes and letters and all the stuff that the internet is... Yeah. Do you think that makes up for all the flyers, all the waste of paper there? That's interesting. How much energy does an email use and how many bits of tree is that worth? Yes.

That is exactly the kind of bean counting calculation people would engage in ahead of... It's a hard calculation to make, I guess, because it's quite different. Energy and trees are quite different. Someone would spend a year doing that instead of just spending a year agitating for us to ban the import of oil or something.

Like something that would have a difference. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But overall, it's been a fun time. Thank you to Edinburgh. Thank you to the people. Thank you to the noodles I've eaten here.

I still haven't gone to noodle and dumpling. Not once. No. Oh my God. I just, I've never got the shit together. I need to do that. I need to do that. I need to do that. You terrible, awful asshole.

I know. Even during your limited run, we didn't quite manage to link up into the noodle place. One day, Phil, you'll have the courage to do an unlimited run. It's a first. It's an industry first. The unlimited fringe. He'll die up there. Infinite fringe.

One man refuses to let the party die. He's flyering in the pouring sleet and slush of a winter Edinburgh. Sun setting at 3pm. Have you ever been here in January? Edinburgh in January? Hmm, I don't think so. I'm pretty sure I've been here once.

Oh yes, I have. I've been here for New Year's once. I've done a Hog've been here once. Oh, yes, I have. I've been here for New Year's once. Hogmanay. I've been here. I've done a Hogmanay in Edinburgh. Well, that would be quite cheerful, but if you ever just spend a random three days at the end of January, you're like, oh, it's so dark and cold.

It is like the capital of some sort of haunted ice kingdom. It is still marvellous. Yeah. The most depressing place I've been in Scotland is Aberdeen, which really doesn't have, sorry about Aberdeens,

but doesn't have anything about it, I don't think. I don't think it does. It's got, I think Trump has a golf course there and it's not incongruous. Oil?

It has oil going for it, that's for sure. Oil. Oil. And a terrible heroin problem really i think it's yeah yeah i think it's because i think i have it yes because then all the ships all the oil ships come through the um the gulf and through the yes um through the mediterranean everything and they stop it's the first place to stop at the uk they're smuggling it or the smuggling comes out there oh i think that's right i've always wondered about yeah what is it about scotland that has made it such a such a drugs problem center i mean

obviously there are comparable places in the rest of the UK but Scotland's got the rep doesn't it yeah it's just long dark winters or something the cold I mean you know there's such a high there's such a high correlation between cold and depression anyway and suicide I mean look at Iceland and darkness especially long periods of darkness

and just staying indoors there's only so many ways to keep yourself entertained indoors I wonder if like I remember reading in one of Frankie Boyle's books where like and just staying indoors. There's only so many ways to keep yourself entertained indoors, I guess. I wonder if, like, I remember reading in one of Frankie Boyle's books where, like, in between just, like, lists of one-liners he didn't use on Mock the Week, he would actually write some good prose. And one of them was, like, saying something like, I struggle to explain to English people

how impossible it is to do anything in Scotland in winter. Right. He was like, I tried to once make a pilot for a TV show in winter and it was like everybody was moving in slow motion like underwater. Gosh, yeah.

It's like Paul is cast over them. Yeah. And I thought, oh yeah, that's probably right, isn't it? And I think it's why

Scotland has such a, I mean, put punches above its weight so much in terms of engineering and invention and the amount of inventions that have, like vital inventions that have come off Scotland's just yeah just these sort of hobbyists in just stuck indoors all they just think do you think in an effort to keep up with the technological

innovations coming out of America and China we should just put more people indoors um yes I think the reason for Britain's drop in technological output has been global warming yes it's too nice now yes too nice

now put away that temporary barbecue get inside and work on a tidal generator with less friction energy

loss mate you can have a tin in the park when we're working on cold fusion. Yeah. I think we're getting to fusion. I can't wait for fusion. Well, the fucking thing is

we should be doing fission now anyway. This is my new bugbear. We need so many more nuclear power plants and they're being decommissioned. I will rent a flat in more nuclear power plants. And they're being decommissioned. They're being decommissioned. I will rent a flat in a nuclear power plant. Yes. That's how much I don't care about the allegedly...

Well, that's how safe it is. Of course. It's so, so safe. And everyone keeps going on, we need to answer the climate crisis. We have one. We've had one since the 50s. We could have been carbon neutral since the 50s.

Basically. It's... Imagine. Imagine once we get fusion cold fusion imagine the idea of a world where someone going like oh no I forgot to turn the lights off when I left the house it's just like why there's just like we have our own Sun you could just have everything constantly charging just Just like... Just like constant... Just like electricity. Like you could do whatever you wanted with electricity.

Yeah. It's just... It's amazing what a couple of disasters will do to perfectly good technology. Yeah. You could, if we had cold fusion, air condition the world. Uh-huh. Because there would be no downside. Because you're not burning anything to do it.

You could have heated greenhouses growing fucking pineapples in Yorkshire forever. This is now an anti-murder, pro-nuclear power. Anti-murder, pro-nuclear. We're setting our stall out. Do you laugh at poo? Do you like nuclear power? Are you anti-murder? We-nuclear. We're setting our stall out. Do you laugh at poo? Do you like nuclear power? Are you anti-murder? We've got a podcast for you.

The atom bomb is where we conflict it. As long as the nuclear bomb is used in a sort of like Geneva Convention recognised war. Like a just war. Right, yeah. Then, yeah. If there's a way it can be used in an exclusively military target. Yeah.

I'm looking forward to the Oppenheimer movie, actually. Ooh. It looks quite good. It looks very broody. I guess, yeah, you've got to be broody. I was reading on Twitter about the terrible accidents that happened in the Manhattan Project. Don't mean broody I was reading on Twitter about the terrible accidents

that happened in the Manhattan Project don't mean broody or brooding broody means Oppenheimer wanted a baby I guess he sort of did he had a baby

and what a baby it was he had a little boy he had a little boy thank you thank you whoa whoa

that's good stuff that's fucking I mean look what other podcasts yeah can make a pun reference about a misunderstood word describing oppenheimer's fucking come on come on it's highbrow um yes it looks brooding and cool. And I'm sort of... I was reading about all the deaths that happened where a physicist dropped a brick of cesium onto a brick of something else. Or some isotope.

It just sort of fused into each other and just immediately turned like... It just irradiated him immediately. Really? Yeah, and he was dead 28 days later. This guy was 24. He died after 28 days of obviously serious unpleasantness. But while he was dying in this lead-lined hospital room,

he was describing all his symptoms really accurately, scientifically, for research purposes. Now that's fucking metal. That's dedication. Yeah, if that happened to me, I would just shoot me now. I don't care if there's anything to learn from it. I don't care. I really hate the idea of there being this big flash of light and you knowing that two metals have touched

and this invisible force has done something and you're just like, uh oh. And in the moment you don't feel bad, you'd want to feel like you've been shot. Because functionally you have been shot, but you're just like, oops, that's me forever. Terrible. Awful, awful. Yeah, really frightening. Oops, that's me forever. Terrible. Awful. Yeah, really frightening. Still pro-nuclear power though, baby. Yeah, yeah, let's do it.

They're working on thorium reactors, I think, with thorium salts. Oh yeah, as you mentioned this. Yeah, they'll figure that out. They'll figure it out and it will all be gravy. But while they are figuring it out, Pierre is doing his stand-up show for one more week. That'sald Bridge and it's really fantastic. Four stars across, four and five stars across the board. That's right. You've got to get on down. You better get on down before I just cancel it in favour of going and trying to build my own fusion reactor in the woods. I mean, you talk about capturing the power of a star.

Well, we've done it. Pier Novelli. 6.10 p.m. I'd like a bow. Oh, fuck. Just the shorter one this week, guys, because we don't have a microphone and also we just feel sick, don't we? Yeah. We're very, very tired.

And I guess part of the reason we're tired is because we spent like two hours hiking around Edinburgh asking mysterious old Scottish men for cables that they either did not have or were not willing to provide. I also, well, I had a late one last night which you bowed out of early because you had a hangover. I fled. But now I have, it's not a hangover, I'm just a bit like, I'm just a bit squidgy. I feel like... I'm tired. I'm just a bit squidgy. I feel like... Tired.

Yeah, I feel like my organs... You know sometimes you look at roast beef and it's sort of rainbow. Oh, yeah. It's a bit green and shiny. Yes, yes, yes. And it's fine, but you go, ooh. I feel like my organs are that colour. Yes.

That's how I feel. They're slick. They're slick to the touch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where they were once firm and plump. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where they were once firm and plump. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, did someone pour petrol on that? Yeah.

Is there a bit of petrol in there? Yeah, shiny, shiny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But thanks for listening, guys. And we'll see you next week. Hope it's a good one. Enjoy, enjoy. Bye-bye.

Bye. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca.