BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 189 - Good News Bad News

Episode Date: November 16, 2022

The lads talk mid-term aliens and Qatar, dems and recession, Pierre and Phil's mum in the Ukraine bath. Correspondence from Louis the Greek Postcard. Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Budpod 189. 189. It's Democrat time. Yes. The American midterms, Pierre, went a lot better than we'd worried. The last time they went this well, it was because of 9-11. Yes, that's right. The last time a sitting president did this well in the midterms was right after 9-11 yes that's right the last time a sitting president

did this well in the midterms was right after 9-11 George W riding a wave of renewed patriotism and this time around I maybe there's a similar vibe

but for the survival of democracy as opposed to the American state. It's Gen Z everyone's blaming it on. But imagine activating Gen Z and doing so well as president that you are the equivalent to 9-11. I didn't know the Gen Z. Imagine doing 9-11 well at something yeah that's pretty yeah i mean it's it's a strange way of phrasing it but yeah that's doing pretty well at something i didn't realize i didn't this is first i've heard of the gen z element what was a big gen

z turnout in the midterm elections well this is what they're saying um certainly gen z voted like 90 democrat or whatever something insane obviously um but it's one of the few explanations as to why all the polls were wrong but then another one of the reasons why like nate silver and 538 polls were wrong is that apparently they've been including like in their averages they've been warping their averages by trying not to seem biased by including polls from like ilovehitler.net or whatever for the first time this is it yeah yeah ever since 2016 pollsters just have to keep re-biasing their polling uh but the state of the world and the makeup of society keeps shifting the balance of opinion and power in society just keeps shifting it seems year on year that each time they buys it one way the swing goes the other well that's it and like um

like you say since 2016 everyone went oh my god we really haven't been talking to enough elderly racists and weirdos and so they've added like a 20 boost to the number of elderly racists and weirdos who they ask um yeah just like people from like podunk diddly dump and as a result they're just now massively overrepresented or they're not able to cope with the fact the other thing i mean this is anecdotal but everyone's saying like the certain number of the surveys that say this stuff you know it's a call from basically an unknown number and who under 30 answers those who are under 35 even oh interesting right how can you pull them yeah interesting yeah the only people are going to pick up a call from

an unknown number are people either so old or so weird and isolated, they're desperate for the conversation. Yes, it's basically you're only ever polling the kind of people who can have their identities stolen. But similarly, what's of QAnon conspiracists is going to pick up a number, pick up a call from what could be the FBI, you know, so maybe that leaves them out as well. But it could be Q. It could be Q maybe that leaves them out as well but it could be q it could be q that's right finally calling i knew he'd call yeah um also notable is that pretty much all the trump backed contenders for governor for senator for whatever i've done badly um yeah it's almost like the trumpier they were the worst they did in a way which is good it is good and it's it's it's a sign that i mean to be fair a lot of the ones that did pop up were genuinely

you could give me a million dollars and like a team of assistants and maybe 30 days and i don't know if i could find weirder people then the republican nominees for these the trump ones yeah the more trump backed ones they're genuinely like there's there's a level of unsettlingness to them in every sense the stuff they say they're odd kind of rictus faces they're strange haircuts they're mad views they're badly edited campaign videos it's so it would be so hard to artificially be that weird and unsettling it's like tim and eric or i think you should leave or something yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like they've all... It's like they've all come from the Upside Down or something.

Or they're all... They're all in the control of a Men in Black alien. Exactly, yeah. They're like, sugar! They look like that guy. Yeah. And they talk, yeah, and there's kind of strained, like,

I will buy more guns! Like this insane kind of... Like they they're talking but they've actually got mandibles and it's really hard for them to make human sounds it's so strange yeah yeah well i mean some are saying that some people are saying is the end of trump some people are saying but some beautiful people uh and maybe but then is it is it is it the end of Trump only to be replaced by the rise of competent Trump, Ron DeSantis? Yeah, I mean, he's pretty weird. I've heard him described as Trump without the crazy. That's the problem, isn't it?

There was a big op-ed by, it might've been one of the Watergate journalists, but it was someone saying like, well, watch out because the next one's not going to be mental. And saying like the only reason that the January 6th thing didn't turn into a successful coup is because President Trump was so lazy and weird that he never answered any of the phone calls. Like he could have done it

i could have done done what on january the 6th while it was happening there were multiple occasions where people were like ringing him up saying say this on the tv or just or send the national guard here or take them away from there move security if he'd done all of that the rioters could have easily gone and killed particular senators triggering elections they could have easily gone and intimidated people into doing something but apparently he was just sat eating hamburgers watching it on tv ignoring his phone because he's a fat lazy lunatic whereas like someone with a bit of gumption could easily have turned that into some sort of coup no Interesting. Yeah, yeah, I mean,

that's the worry. I'm looking up DeSantis now, because all I know is he said he was anointed by God. Oh, that's good. He, like Trump, has... Maybe he's living in Florida, but he's got

an odd tan as well. It's almost like they went for the trump orange but then brought it back to something reasonable so even in that sense he's like a more reasonable trump he's like a more sane trump plausible hair and skin dye yeah still not really but for america yeah plausible yeah. Yeah. For American politics. For American politics, he looks human. I mean, look, he went to Harvard and Yale, so that's something. And he was a lawyer. Yeah, George W. Bush went to Harvard.

That's true. But then he was a legacy. He was a legacy. But who was this guy's dad, though? That's interesting. He is of Italian descent. Ah. I was wondering.

Decentis descent. Decentis descent. Decentis. Decentis. He's of Italian descentis. He is most notable for going after Walt Disney, well, the Disney Corporation in Florida, for they made a stand against

what's called the Don't Say Gay Bill, right, in Florida. So he went after Walt Disney Corporation for being too woke and wanted to basically kick him out of Florida, despite them being one of the I think the biggest employer in Florida, or something crazy like that. Disney World, Disneyland.

And so that's kind of how he made his name. He took on the mouse. It'd be very funny if the next presidential election is Rhonda Santos versus Mickey Mouse. That'd be fun. Just a guy in a mickey mouse outfit waving at the crowd i think abortion should be safe and legal mini mouse comes yeah he comes out at the end

hugs him around the waist and waves exactly yeah DeSantis' dad installed Nielsen TV rating boxes that was his job he said claims the Wikipedia interesting yeah the

the fabled Nielsen families in America became very powerful well in a way they became very powerful they were the families in america who had a nielsen ratings box attached to their tv and this is what they calculated ratings by was what the these families were watching and they collated the information and and then they would publish the ratings and the nielsen families would get sort of bribed by the networks so the networks would send nielsen families gifts and goodies and treats and all this sort of thing to try and get them to to watch their shows so that they would have better ratings

or like at least like yeah leave the tv on while you go shopping and all that kind of shit ah yeah i would imagine i mean i would I'd fucking pay to do that I'd be like just leave it on you don't have to watch my stupid show just leave the TV on the box will tell we had an equivalent in the UK but I can't remember what it's called

ooh yeah I'm not sure it is strange how they calculate it because it does mean that sometimes some shows have technically got a rating of 0 yes yes that I don't understand but they just go mathematically because it does mean that sometimes some shows have technically got a rating of zero. Yes, yes. That I don't understand. But they just go, mathematically, no one watched your show.

Imagine. An ongoing feud between DeSantis and Disney has its own wiki article. Oh, great. Great. I mean, imagine positioning yourself so clearly as the villain that you're literally fighting Mickey Mouse and still increasing your share of the vote in Florida. Like a thumping win.

Like he's pretty much the only Republican who did better than last time. Imagine you're trying to fight a child's cartoon because the child's cartoon character is being too nice to gay people and everyone goes i like this guy yeah well it's about time it's about time that a high-pitched mouse has taken down a peg or two that'll break he is against gun control let me just pick up my jaw taking down a peg or two. That'll break. He is against gun control. Let me just pick up my jaw.

Yeah. He was some kind of military lawyer in Iraq or something. Oh, wow. He was in the Navy. Yeah, naval. He completed Naval Justice School in 2005. Christ. Naval Justice School.

Yeah, it sounds like a Japanese cartoon translation. Naval Justice School. Yeah, I mean, that's what Top Gun is called in Japan. Naval Justice. Because that's essentially what they're all at, right? Yeah. All of Top Gun Maverick is Naval Justice School. It's Naval Justice School. And Tom Cruise is known as Ageless Naval Justice Man.

Naval Justice Demon. Oh, he worked at Guantanamo bay that's good oh interesting gosh as a lawyer uh yeah like he worked for the commander of the whole thing and worked directly with detainees yum, yum. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Imagine being able to say, my dad fought Mickey Mouse and worked at Guantanamo Bay. And he's going to be president of the United States. He's ready to lead us. He took out a mouse, he covered up some waterboarding, maybe.

Well, now the Democrats are in a sort of sticky position because if they had good reason to replace Joe Biden, it's kind of gone now because he's done so well. All the Democrats have done so well under him. So now he has this renewed mandate, as it were, to run in 2024. should he still be with us should he still be with us yeah he'll be running as a sort of a version of the emperor from warhammer i forget what that guy's is he very old on the throne yeah he's basically a skeleton on the

throne yeah yeah with loads of wires coming out of him and he's held together by like his own psychic power. So Joe Biden will basically be like a skeleton on a throne held into, held into the realm of the living by the desperate psychic pleas of any American that isn't, you know, verging on neo-fascist. Just their thoughts and prayers alone

will sustain him, will keep his heart beating, long after mere medicine has understood what's happening. Do you see this guy who won, is it senator for Pennsylvania? Pennsylvania Senate race. What's his name now John Fetterman oh the big

he looks like a wrestler he looks like a Trump supporter but he is the Democrat now Senator for Pennsylvania and he like wears a hoodie he's got a goatee he looks like stone cold steve austin it's it's it's it's interesting but he looks like the senator who would become

the senator in like the last of us like the guy who'd become president in the last of us yeah he's a survivor you know he's but he has compassion yeah he learned compassion when he was running his kind of like scrap metal fort in the wasteland yeah yeah he does look like that a mutual friend of ours i think he was at uni with us fred who i follow on twitter he does some good commentary and things said retweeted himself when Federman won, saying, it'll be interesting to see how much of a swing this guy gets purely for looking like a Trump candidate and confusing the Trump voters.

That's a good point. Because they must have looked between him and his opponent, who was, let us not forget, the sort of controversial doctor from oprah oh yeah dr oz in my the guy's literally called dr oz like in wizard of and people are still like yeah that sounds like a serious contender for senate he sounds like a cool guy it It's, um... Oh my god, yeah. I mean, I saw a funny thing where... Because, you know, Fetterman, it's Pennsylvania,

so it's like, you know, Boston and like Philly. Like real blue-collar, rough-and-tough guys. Sorry? Boston? No, Philly. Philly, Philly. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Philly, yeah.

And Dr. Oz is not from Pennsylvania, and Fetterman is obviously some kind of local, as I say, warlord. Petrol, yeah. Petrol warlord, yeah. Petrol warlord. But they were both talking about cost of living, and Dr. Oz was like, the price of crudités is outrageous, was his line. Yeah, further, he did a video of him at the supermarket saying, this is how much crudités is outrageous, was his line. Yeah, I've heard this. He did a video of him at the supermarket saying,

this is how much crudités costs now. And it's like $20. This is too much for crudités. So I think, which sort of lost him his relatability points. But this is my, but then I thought, but crudités just chopped up carrots and celery. It just sounds fancy, but it isn't. Yeah, but he was talking just chopped up carrots and celery it's not it just sounds fancy but it isn't yeah but he was he was talking about um like pre-made sets of it wasn't he like for his

for little dinner parties oh then the clip i heard he was getting like the actual like broccoli and and carrots but but still you do like not only was he calling them crudités, he was failing to pronounce the S in the authentic French manner. If you're trying to appeal to fucking Philly cheesesteak Bill... Yeah. You're going to relate to the working man with your fucking Oprah crudités.

It's funny. It's funny. Yeah. But yeah, if you guys... Even if you're not big um politics fans i recommend just um doing your best to look up like a list of like photos and interviews and adverts of any of the heavily trump endorsed candidates because they they genuinely their flesh doesn't even quite look real yeah it's they's really odd. It's quite upsetting. Off-putting, yeah. You know what it is?

It's Uncanny Valley. Yeah, it's like they managed to somehow be their own Madame Tussauds waxworks. Like they are them and also their waxwork at the same time. Yeah, and they all sort of have like mad eyes and and their jaws seem to move at angles that human jaw shouldn't it's it's really odd and because it's america they've all had like what what from a what from a european perspective is a high amount of like quite intense dental surgery and botox and so there is a mannequin

aspect to them. So the Democrats are holding the Senate. Yeah, they might even take a majority from the runoff in Georgia so then they'll be able to outvote that fuckwit mansion.

That'd be cool. And the House, we will see. All the seats left are Californian, I think. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Wow, wow, wow. But they're not going to keep the House, are they? The Republicans

will have a majority of one or something. They think one, yeah. If the Democrats keep the House house it would be extraordinarily funny it would be very funny like during a cost of living crisis as well amazing and is it the senate that's important for this for the justices so if they if the democrats want to replace the justice in the coming years is it the senate they need to hold to do that i think it's the senate i think it's the senate it might be both but i think it's the senate um yeah um uh but yes but that's kind of all a sort of relief for now but knowing the world as it has been in the last decade i'm sure something terrible is just around the corner so

well don't worry phil because the uk is heading for a brutal two-year recession yes recess recess everyone why is everyone so gloomy about the recess i thought we like recess look we're gonna have a recession for two years now because you know what over the last say eight years it's been a real booming period yeah we had it too good for sense it's like what recessing back into what exactly it's a but yeah that's it it's supposed to be boom and bust not and bust bust um the the wait so so they're saying this is longest recession not the deepest but the longest recession um since records began but then but the 2008 recession was that just like was that less than two years then i I think it was... Because you need to have three months in a row of negative growth, right?

Right, right, yeah. I mean, the crash, like the effects lasted fucking forever, so God knows what's going to happen after the next two years. But it feels like... Where's the boom? I feel like I don't mind a hangover, but I don't like a hangover when I didn't even drink. Yeah, where was the...

Yeah. Eat Out to Help Out. I think that was literally it. I think Eat Out to Help Out, that was our boom. We didn't realize it at the time, but it had all been leading up to austerity, 2008, up to whatever. All that saving and scrimping was for Eat Out to Help Out. And now we have to pay for Eat Out to Help Out.

But it was good. Eat Out to Help Out was good. You got so many sides. It was nice. It was nice. It was really nice. Oh, just quickly, I would like to say a happy birthday to my uh my mother

who I went back to bath over the weekend to as into the place or did you go back to bathe her over the weekend we got into a big bath together as is our tradition every year we get in a big bathtub with mummy

and wish her another happy year. No, we went back to bath. Yeah. Pierre, do you know who, and I'm not exaggerating here, do you know who in my life knows maybe as much as you do about the Ukraine war?

Is it, mum? It's my mother. My mother. Really? She has become, well, she's been into it ever since it started, but she is like hardcore. She reads the Kiev Independent every morning. Phil, you better make some room in that bath.

I'm climbing in. Talking about Ukraine in the bath. She knows fucking everything, man. And she's like, she knows what the next offensive should be. She knows where the strangle points are. She's like, she's naming towns I've never fucking heard of. She's like, well, of course, the real focus is going to be on Balukdapov. And I'm like, what?

She knows everything man i think like me and my sisters were saying i think we think in her bedroom she just got one of those big maps and the stick pushing around these like wooden figures on the map of ukraine i approved thoroughly of this so she started wearing a uniform i'll get her that for christmas In her birthday card I gave her, I just drew the outline of Ukraine and then the number 67 in the middle to wish her a happy 67th. It's like that scene in Lord of War. You get your mum to do a line of cocaine

all the way around the shape of Ukraine. But yeah, I was really surprised just how into it she is. She's talking about Matapol? Melitopol. Melitopol, yeah. She's talking about

Bakdam? Bakdam? Up in the north somewhere? Bakmut, yeah. You two would get on. Buckdum Buckdum Buckmood Buckmood You two would get on She knows everything She's obsessed Yeah she's obsessed

She really is obsessed Obsessed with the Ukrainian war Or rather obsessed with the Russian war Well I mean on that Ukraine have retaken Kherson. Kherson is Ukrainian, and they took it on Remembrance Day. Lovely. Oh, did they? That's a nice detail.

Who was the obsessed lady again? Stacey Dooley? Stacey Dooley, yeah. Yeah, we should just clarify for new listeners that we don't think we're doing a Ukrainian accent or something there. No, yeah, it's a reference to pretty early on in the podcast life,

Stacey Dooley posted a photo of her in a sub-Saharan country. Was it Malawi? Or Malawi is always my go-to for these because that's where my school went when I went to private school in the UK. And I thought it was grotesque then and I think it's grotesque now. i think it's i remember you saying that the the trip to malawi was like this like cool trip to go on or something

yeah people would cry if they didn't get on the trip to malawi to go and badly paint someone's house go and take take work out of the hand of local craftsmen. Yeah. They'd go, oh, no, I don't get to build an unusable shack. Oh, no. But how will I get my photos? And, you know, the school magazine would be, the cover would be, you know, someone at my school holding, like, a black baby.

And, like, you know and i just thought it was grotesque using these black children as props and stacy dooley did something very similar i can't remember i think it was for it was for comic relief or something like that and yeah and she posted on her instagram a photo of her holding a black baby, a young black child, and the caption was just, Obsessed! And it was just a bit, well, it was very embarrassing and very gross. Yeah, just like going to an orphanage and completely inappropriately picking up and attaching yourself to some poor fucking orphans

for like two days and then leaving them again. Yeah. Yeah, yeah yeah exactly but never mind that phil you're right the good news kherson is in ukrainian hands once more um which um as my mother explains me him will facilitate a sort of pincer movement that could uh strangle crimea that could suffocate crimea i'm loving the sound of this chat with your mom i'd go for afternoon tea with her and we'll just sit with a big map smoking cigars and it's okay but what about the 135th naval infantry do you know how this all started was it just the sheer impact of of the war when it began and i think it was that i think it's also that she's she's very you know my she's very impressive my mother she's um a doctor who has now turned her into writing she's written her own novel about

the first world war and set in the first world war so i think she got really into that and then maybe that that interest is sort of transferred onto onto ukraine because it's like a historic european war happening in real time yes with trenches to be fair oh really yeah there's trenches involved not not everywhere but in a lot of it yeah yeah yeah that makes sense that makes sense that's very cool you should get um that would be cool if she got it published and you could do like a dual book tour yeah yeah um but yeah that's that's decent news it seems to be a couple of bits of decent news um basically there's a few bits of good news coming out everywhere but our country. It's not true.

Have we got anything good? Our stock market is now smaller than France's and they don't even go to work. Yeah, that's pretty embarrassing. When is a politician going to have the fucking balls to say, this is Brexit, you dimwits. This is all Brexit, you fucking dumbasses. Can we stop it now, please? Can we stop now?

You've seen what happens. You've got to play out your silly little fantasy. You've got to feel more British for a week, whatever that fucking means. Can we go back to acting like adults, please? But no one is is going to do that are they no no one is going to do that so they're going to keep talking about energy and inflation and putin until until britain is just a single row of corrugated iron shacks along the Thames. And then someone will go,

maybe it was Brexit, you know. And then it'll be too late. We'll just be shack town. Well, I mean, my prediction was always that Brexit was going to happen and we'd just slowly sneakily get back into being effectively part of the EU

and you know already now since Rishi Sunak has become Prime Minister our relationship with France is getting a bit better they're striking new deals about migrant crossings and stuff like that and I feel like this is how it's going to go and we're going to get to just a slightly

shitter version of the deal we had with the EU in like 20 years time. But slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly. Like a sort of Coke Zero kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. I honestly think that's what's going to happen. Because in the end, money always wins out. Business always wins out.

And this is bad for business. It is bad for business. You know what's good for business, Phil? Correspondence. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay.

Yay. Ring letters. Keep emails. Email. Phone call. Call. Your sister. Keep a straight line.

Call. Make a call. Ring letters. Correspondence. Where is it? We've got a message from Louis Louis Louis, Louis, Louis

I think I've actually sung it before for Louis I think we've had Louis before maybe Well, so Louis tries to clarify And this, I have to emphasize that this is He says, he's talking about a recent Thing But it's recent for him. It's like a fucking year ago.

So he says, dear purred birds with umlauts. Purred birds, yep. Purred birds, purred birds. Purred birds. Purred birds. Listening to your latest magnificent aural effluence, which is nice. Although I think, I think O with an umlaut is A, podbods. It's like an A.

I thought in German an umlaut O was like an U, like bird. I thought that was an umlaut U was an U. We're going to have to put this into one of those speak and say things for different languages. Well, Louis says he was shocked to hear another louis had emailed in ah well there we go he says i want to clarify i'm not the louis who sent in correspondence about toilet tat from new zealand i am the louis who corresponded about japanese game names into my obscene greek postcard oh of course obscene greek postcard oh of course the obscene greek postcard almost got him arrested because i think he's talking about one of like a donkey's dick or something wasn't it oh

oh yeah that's a different because the other one was spain is good for baby spain's good for baby of course yeah yeah yeah where it Where it was a baby swimming like Nirvana style with like a huge dong. And just the caption, Spain is good for baby. Yes, and Louis' postcard was of a donkey on a beach and like a lady looking at its big dick. They're all to do with big dicks. Yeah, something about the Mediterranean and big old old dongs i'll try and look it up just now he says i don't know who this imposter is but i hope you have taken the correct measures and reported him to the police he says anyway on a recent trip to the shops i found this cavalcade

of bin bags tat for your pleasure so let's see if you can uh guess this tat phil uh this one says may your whole day blank it's like a card it's a card okay like a greeting card may your whole day sparkle five yeah oh yes is it yeah i'm too good at this how did i know it was sparkle that is mad that is mad that's quite eerie actually it just would be it would be sparkle obviously it would be sparkle because i think it was i think you're saying your greetings card helped because i sort of imagined all the like bits of glitter on it and yeah yeah and and if it's a birthday it's all about like may this day be you know twinkly and whatever it's true it is very twinkly yeah twinkly day um so this next one says today's forecast colon 99 chance of blank

wine yes yes two for two two for two oh man i don't know whether to be proud of this skill or deeply worried it is it's it's odd it's like you it's like you could somehow guess people's emails it's really strange like there's a way in which it could be possible but it seems so unlikely yeah i yeah i know yeah like you could, you think, I guess there could be a logic and a method to it, but still. Yes. Okay, let's see.

How will I make this one more of a riddle? So, okay, this one says, so you know when someone like attributes a quote to someone, it's like the quote and then hyphen and then the name underneath? Yeah. So that's one of those. And it says, trust trust me you can blank and the quote is attributed to hyphen blank oh trust me you can okay so i need

to i've got two blanks to fill yeah so it's trust me you can blank is the phrase and then it's the attribution of who's saying that is blank. Okay, trust me. You can... Is the quote attributed to no one or nobody? No, it's attributed to not not a person but a thing oh okay okay okay oh okay okay trust me you can dance yes um yeah attributed to alcohol you're so close, basically. Beer. No, because it's chat. Prosecco.

Yes! I count that. That's fucking mad. What a horrible skill. I love it. I love Tant. Maybe I love Tant, actually. I love it. You know, it's a special kind of obsession

some people have with something they hate. Yeah. I guess in a way, it's kind of like your and my mother's obsession with the Ukraine war on one level you hate it right you're obsessed with it because you hate it and I maybe I'm like that with tat

I'm obsessed with it, I hate it but I don't know what I would do if it weren't around you're like the tat equivalent of a deeply closeted priest who hates homosexuals you're like the tat equivalent of a deeply closeted priest who hates homosexuals yeah you're sort of obsessed with them

I'm in the tat closet it's true you're in the tat closet that's the it'll be LGBT add tat in there oh on this topic just quickly the Qatar World cup oh god yeah have you seen oh

gosh i feel almost bad for him if he and his love didn't have a point like have you seen the clip of gary neville on have i got news for you no what is that um he and his love just tears into shreds about taking taking qatari money to commentate at um at the world cup in qatar and i mean gary neville is like embarrassed and and like has no defense it's really bad it'd be gary neville basically goes well you know there's there's two options really with something like this i can stay home or i can go over and commentate and talk about the issues. And then Ian Hislop says, well, no, you can stay home and talk about the issues. And everyone's like,

oh yeah, he could have done that. And then Ian Hislop goes, how are you going to bring up the issues there? Are you going to commentate on the matches going, here we are starting the game in this terrible country. And he's like, oh yeah, gosh. He's got a point. Hislop, man and he's like oh yeah gosh he's got a point his lot man he's fucking brutal if he's not on your side

whenever I'm on that show it's like sitting next to a nuclear silo that I just you know happen to be on the right side of I think if I were a politician I'd be terrified of his lot

sitting next to the punisher I think if I were a politician, I'd be terrified of his lot. You're sitting next to the Punisher. Also, because it's like being told off by the nice teacher. Oh, no, yeah. You know? The fun one. Yeah, the nice teacher's told you off. Like, there's no coming back from that. You're sat next to the punisher going yeah

i've streamed a few things illegally uh-oh uh-oh it's true though as well like he's not going to be able like the second he says anything the qatari government will just deport him so he's talking absolute shit right yeah yeah yeah yeah of course they basically they basically said we will not tolerate any fucking anyone bringing up the fact that everything's built by slaves who we'd lock their passports away and we're fucking insane bigots yeah yeah but it's mad how little interest there is here like no one said no one sung Lions once yet. I've not seen any art about it, no posters about it, no England flags, nothing. It's almost like

this World Cup's not happening. It's really weird. I don't think there's going to be any booze. Really? A dry World Cup? Wow. I'm going to type in Qatar booze. 22 hours ago, Qatar makes shocking World Cup alcohol decision. What is the decision?

Subscribe to find out. Alcohol is not completely banned in Qatar, but it is strictly regulated. And while alcohol is expected to be served at designated locations outside of stadiums, but not inside the venues, it seems like it's becoming even more limited at the last minute. Interesting. The Qatari royal family has demanded that tents serving beer and alcohol outside stadiums be moved to less visible locations. God forbid anyone should see someone having a pint in Slave Town. These people are fucked, man.

It's crazy. Sepp Blatter, the FIFA president guy, is like, oh yeah, that was a mistake. He's said that now. Yeah. 12 years later. Cheers, Sepp. Cheers, Mr. Blatter. Don't worry, at least the last one was in Russia, so, you know, they're not all bad.

Well, at least when South Africa hosted the World Cup, it briefly improved infrastructure and a bunch of journalists got beaten up in their homes by Anonymous. Anyway. Fucking, what a burden. Well, Phil, you've got one last piece of tat to guess. You've already got three for three, which is already insane.

Yeah. Let's see. A hat trick. You scored a hat trick. Yeah, take me to Qatar. Like take me to church. So this one is quite elaborate. I'm trying to think which bit to blank out.

I think I've got it. Okay. A banana has 108 calories. A blank and blank has 91 calories. Enough said. A gin and tonic. Yeah, yeah. Yeah!

Terrifying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Terrifying. Terrifying. Chilling, really. Scientists have no explanation for how this young man is able to do this. in a few hundred years i'm going to be like there's going to be a tweet

from an account called weird history and it'll be a photo of me and and it'll be like in 2022 british man phil wang was able to guess the contents of 100 birthday cards in a row. He was able to guess the content of tat he couldn't see. And it's like, it's a photo of you in black and white with like wearing like a kind of

metal hat with loads of wires coming out of it. You're gonna to be a Footage of you doing it is going to be used in an Adam Curtis documentary Yes, yes, yes They said they could invent a hat that Phil Wang couldn't guess But that was a lie Culture had become so derivative One man was able to predict it entirely yeah he said um louis says keep up the good work koji okay thank you louis enjoying the greatest

view spelt without an e and i think that's what the caption of the greek postcard was just it was a donkey with a huge erection looking at a topless woman that's what it was right and right oh yes and so it was actually the donkey who was enjoying the greatest view but then there's something for the lady the greatest something for the ladies too the greatest view the greatest view i'm gonna see if i can find the the original um very funny very funny for greatest to be spelled wrong as well. He's the greatest view that I've ever seen. I went, Oh, this is it. It's Yes, it's a postcard. It is a donkey with a huge

direction looking at a topless woman. And the postcard says, the greatest view, exclamation mark, with no E in greatest. And then underneath it says, crease. Crease. So it's grease with a C instead of a G. Crease, that's it. Great, great, great.

Crease. That's really funny it's in massive letters as well crease crease where's this postcard from crease the greatest view the greatest view i'm gonna watch watch this Gary Neville thing and be horrified. Oh, man. It's... Your body will... Your body will scrunch up. Okay. I'm interested.

I'm excited. I'm excited now. Well, Phil, now it's time to take a trip to the exclusive VIP box in the slave-built arena that is the Patreon. Yes, bonus pod. We are time-travelling into Friday now for Patreon subscribers.

If you don't subscribe to our Patreon, do subscribe to get our weekly bonus pod on a Friday where we discuss our spicier opinions that we don't bring up on the main pod. It's true. If you like this podcast but you think, oh, I could do with a dash of chilli,

do subscribe. Yeah. But until next time, see you guys soon! Until next time, buy tickets to my Soho Theatre run, please. Yes, do that, and my tour. Bye!