BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 272 - DadPod

Episode Date: June 26, 2024

The lads talk DADS! Seven sins of mums and dads, martial arts films, home dynamics, DVD conspiracy preppers and more. Correspondence from Will from NZ and a best-selling Canadian: Ian! Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Bud Pod 272. 272, just me and you. Felipe can't be there this week and already... He's had to return to Puerto Felipe. Puerto Felipe... There has been a minor coup. And Felipe must return to pledge his alliance to one side or the other. Yes.

We all pray and hope he makes the correct decision for the sake of his own life and for the sake of ours. Yep. Felipe has had to put on his swirling cotton suit and take a sea plane to Puerto Felipe. With a Panama hat. Yes. I'm going to put this microphone up. It's already falling, I was saying to Phil, listeners, I've already become institutionalized to Felipe's skills. I've already forgotten all my old tricks like putting the mic close enough to my face.

Yeah, we're sort of pawing at the... The equipment. The microphones. Like chimps. Yes. We know that there's bananas in here somewhere. Have I spoken on here before about the chimps where they thought chimps had funerals briefly? All right, Joe Rogan. Have you seen those chimp funerals, man? Have you seen those chimp funerals? Jamie, can we get one of them up? They sing beautiful singing. Yes, I think

you did. Yeah, an anthropologist was observing them and found that they were. Yeah, they thought they were going to have funerals and then the mum just ate the baby. It's a funeral of a kind. You're burying them in your belly. That's it. But the mum was like sort of snacking on its baby. So like us. That's the trouble is, you know when you're a comedian, you do an interview and they go, what makes you laugh? In your head is a chimp eating a spelt baby.

A chimp nibbling its corpse of its child. I go, uh, it's just not Michael McIntyre. The news, I guess. Political, the politics, you know, those guys. Yeah, I'll tell you what makes me laugh is the bloody government. So you should say, bunch of clowns. In your head is just a chimp chowing down

on its own baby. We're just nibbling it. The nibbling is what made me laugh. I think if it was just like, hum, I would have been like, oh, because it's like climbing a tree like, I'll just climb this tree, see if there's any fruit up here.

It's like a little bit of its face. Do you think when the chimp's only nibbling on its baby, its friend is like, are you all right, Jermaine? You hardly touch Nathan. Nathan. Nathan the chimp. Something? You've hardly touched Nathan. Nathan? Nathan the Chimp, I don't know. There's something really funny about the name Nathan. Nathan the Ape. That would be my anthropological research. Are any apes called Nathan in their societies? Are any of these apes called Nathan? I need funding for four years of audio recordings

in the jungle to see if at any point in the chimps go, Nathan. And if that's proof, if I get that, that's the standard of proof. I'm so... I'll take that. I'll take it. I'll take it. PhD, please. I don't get people who are so into animals, man.

To spend years and years of your life and hundreds of dollars. I don't even know how much this research costs, but I'll pretend and buy some mics, but oh, who gives a fuck? I mean, even if they did have funerals, the end point of that painstaking research, it gets to me and I go, oh, oh. That's true of all academia, though. That is true, that is true. Otherwise the researcher would just have to be, they've made a type of pepperoni that's bigger. But it's not true of technology.

It's not true of technology. At the end of the stream of technological research is a new device, it's some technological revolution. Yes, that's true. But then sometimes it's like, um, Beat-em-ax or like the dream cast or something. Like many, many discs. It's new technology and everyone is like, yeah, but like, even as you're saying that, I can see that it's going to go out of date soon. Yeah. Did you have a P a PSP? I did. I think so. It's like a weird PlayStation Game Boy.

Yeah. And it would be like cassettes. You stick a cassette in the back and inside the cassette was a small CD. Honestly, if you're too young and you probably aren't, but if you're too young to remember the mid 90s to mid noughties, we fucked around with so many formats. Holy shit. We tried every size of disc. We had floppies, we had cartridges, cassettes. We were just like, maybe this, maybe this.

Maybe this will be the future. We treated magnetic strips like pasta. We're like, try this shape. Maybe this shape is better. Maybe if it's a tube, maybe if it's a screw. This is a sort of ball of magnetic strips that you just have to kind of roll down a tunnel. Oh, that's fun.

That's a fun idea. Yeah. For a storage system. But like a PSP now looks almost steampunk. Oh, it's a cartridge, but it's got a disc in it. Get that up, Felipe. Well, he's not, by which I mean me. Get that up, PSP. I'm gonna look see a disc in it. Get that up. Uh, Felipe. Well, he's not, uh, by which I mean me get that up. PSP. I'm gonna look at a PSP now. Yeah. Look, take a look at it.

It looks like the TV screen on a fucking airplane seat. Yeah. And in your hands. Yeah. Look at that madness. It looks like I'm about to watch. Um, I don't know, Marley and me on the plane to Dubai. You're about to have a screw top 175ml bottle of wine and watch They Bought a Zoo or whatever it's called. Do you want to guess how much? Used. Used on Amazon? Yeah.

I don't even know, 50 pounds. 200 pounds. You're kidding. Is it at the point now where they're rare? Are they collector's items? They're probably pretty rare. Yeah. Look up a PSP cartridge.

I want you to see how wacky they look. I would watch, Oh, yeah. I would watch stuff like that. The little disks in the container. In a cartridge. They were playing God. Forgive them, they knew not what they did, Lord.

We thought we were God. We put the disk inside, I said. We thought it'd be the best of both worlds, but it was just stupid. I remember watching The Mighty Bushosh on my PSP. Wow, what a naughty sentence. I know, yeah. Oh, I'm just gonna watch The Mighty Boosh on my PSP

while in the background there's a news item playing on the TV about the war on terror. Yes. John Kerry. John Kerry is delivering a speech in the background. That's part of his election campaign. That's how you can tell when this movie is sent. Man. Yeah, we really did fuck around in those days, man. I'm so glad things have gone digital because that's the end of it now, really. That's the end of the formats. We were like, I miss the

physical formats. Now, fuck a man, we couldn't decide what we wanted. Blu-ray was the final hurrah of the physical format. And everyone said, fuck Blu-ray, fuck it actually. Have you seen that there's like a kind of resistance movement for physical media? There's now a resistance movement against physical media. No, of four. For it to come back.

Against digital. Of course, always. Yeah, but now their argument is that like, oh, well, they took the office off all the streaming services or whatever. So how can you watch it now? Oh, this is like the prepper attitude to TV and film. That's it, yeah. To streaming.

Oh, you think you're going to watch TV because some other guy is sending it to your house? You fucking idiot. streaming. Oh, you think you're trust them city folk. If I want to watch Dwight Schrute be the victim of a prank, I could do that whenever I want. You got to wait for Netflix to sign another agreement with CBS International to distribute the- Is it off Netflix now? It's been off and on loads. It was missing for a couple of years even at some point. Very fickle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then like the same with some movies like they're obviously like also like there's lots

of movies that streaming services have never put on because they're not popular enough. So yeah, they yeah. But it's not what like I'm going to start advertising platforms now. But there is a large one where you can just buy anything that exists. What digitally buy? Yeah, I don't know if it is anything. There is a large one where you can just buy anything that exists. What? Digitally buy it? Yeah. I don't know if it is anything. It doesn't, I don't think it has everything.

Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. And speaking of watching things, I recently, I recently rewatched Chernobyl with my girlfriend. Oh, did you? Yeah. And because she is, well, probably autistic, she now she now has she's in the game. She has a hyper fascination for nuclear disasters now. Oh, right. Yeah.

So now she's reading, she's listening to podcasts about Chernobyl. She wants to read up on all the new letters and Fukushima. She's reading up on the this Japanese guy who was highly radiated, not Fukushima, but during a nuclear accident in the 90s and by his skin was just falling off and stuff. Oh my God. So that's a hyper fixation now. That's her thing.

Her special interest right now is nuclear disasters. Nuclear disasters, yeah. Yeah, I think that's a good one. I'm really into it. That's a good one. It's also because radiation is so much like- She's really into radiation sickness at the moment. Really into radiation sickness.

But it's so sci-fi because there's like, oh, there's this type of like rock that just looks like a gray rock. And if I put it in this room, our bodies will melt. It's so crazy. It's so horrible and insane. Chernobyl is such a fantastic show though. I watched it again. I, I, I, cause she started it and then I did dad watching, you know, just like walking on hips, standing up next to the sofa.

Hands on hips, standing up or eating, standing up, looking, and she's like, just sit, just sit and eat that out of that bowl. Huh? You know what's incredible about dad watching is my Malaysian Chinese dad did it in Malaysia. It goes across all cultures. All cultures. What is it? What is it about being a dad that makes you not want to sit down

to watch something? Is it because dads are always having to do small jobs? Well, they're sort of always walking in between rooms. They're so rarely sat. Is it also that? Yes. And also that they're rarely allowed or trusted or interested in making the cultural decisions for the family. They sort of they partake in them passively. Yes. The everyone will have a big sort of noisy chat about what to watch and what your job is to sort of be your that's like parliament and you're the king. You can't intervene.

You're you're sort of nominally more powerful, but it is mainly symbolic. My dad's on the money, but he doesn't technically it's the royal mint, but the king can't like make any more or less. But now I think about it. I don't think my dad ever made a decision about what to watch. Sometimes, you know, you go, oh, whatever, anything, anything. That's the house is countries. Anything, anything. Anything, anything. Anything, anything. What do you want to watch that?

Anything, anything. What if there was a really popular Malaysian show called Anything, Anything? Yeah, right. You just kept ignoring him. Love to watch. Four years I wanted to watch anything, anything, my favorite show, and you just ignored me. It was like I wasn't even there. You won't let me finish it.

It's a season finale. Ten years ago. The producers of Anything, Anything Pulling a Hair Out. It's the perfect Malaysian show, but no one's watching it. What? It's the ultimate Malaysian show for dads. It's the ultimate East Asian show for dads and it's just the ratings are in the floor alright if you don't care then I guess you watch friends again

it's in there going I guess I'll watch this shit but yeah yeah that's dad's it's just as just the hands on hips. Mom, yeah, there's like a soundtrack to my life growing up. My mom going, Benny, sit down and join us. That's it. My mom's like, Benny, sit down and join us. No, it's okay, it's okay. And you just stand there for two hours watching the show.

Watching, watching the entirety of 2001 Space Odyssey. Just standing like a guardsman. Yeah. watching the entirety of 2001 Space Odyssey, just standing like a guardsman. Yeah. Like a Buckingham Palace guardsman, like objectively an impressive thing to do, but with no effort being expended. My dad also had an amazing skill of being able to enjoy a movie,

apparently not actually following it. Like he'll watch a whole movie and go, ha ha ha. Wow, yeah. Wow. And then like in the final scene, he'll point to the main character and go, who's this one? You're like, how have you enjoyed the movie? So he's watching it like an ancient Roman. Right, yeah. Just pure spectacle. So he's just saying

that guy in that car, he's crashed into that guy in that car. That's pretty sick. Spectacle was a big part of it. You go through night markets and Malaysian malls and all the video shops and TV shops would be playing just action scenes on their display TVs. Just random action scenes. Random action scenes. And men would just kind of congregate around this watch the action scene and then move on. That's perfect though. Very developing world thing to just have like a TV just playing random action and men just watching. Just go, oh yeah. And from movies that like you're watching going, hang on. Okay. So then, so that was one of the bus careening around scenes from Speed.

Yeah, perfect. That was some shoot, a shoot out from Dirty Harry. Yep. Then it was like a bank robbery scene from an old Western. I mean, you're going too highbrow. Think like Jean-Claude Van Damme movies Belgium doesn't know about. You know, it's like. So like bin of DVDs in Malaysian market where it's just like, I guess it's about this guy.

I guess he kicks people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you just watch that. Jean-Claude Van Damme movies are on all the time. Really? Yeah. Just random fighting scenes. That's what on in here.

Yeah. It's either football or just random fight scenes. Random fighting. That's what on... Yeah, yeah. It's either football or just random fight scenes. Random fighting. Yeah. On coffee shop TVs. Football, random fighting. There's a level at which that's why you can't put dads in charge of televisions. Yeah, right. Because maybe that's all it would ever be. And the men, the dads, they know this.

They think, well, of course I know what I would put on. But there's no point saying it, because they're never going to say it. No one else wants to sit through a two-hour montage of men being kicked over railings in a sort of factory. The fight scenes in those action movies are always in a factory. On an industrial estate or whatever. Yes, yes, yes. Or like on a dock and there's lots of like wooden planks and boards and ramps and- Yeah.

And someone silently leaps onto a shipping crate somehow instead of it going gong and being like the loudest thing you could ever jump on. Yep. And someone riding on a motorbike away from an explosion. Yeah. Towards camera. Yeah. It's almost like it's easier to film long fight scenes for 12 hours in say a factory that is abandoned. That just happens to be where the bad guys hiding out. He's just not hiding out in a very busy shopping mall. Yeah. Uh, cause that's

too hard. Yeah. Once, um, after'd watched The Raid, I was like, Oh yeah. Oh, my dad would love this. It's literally just one long fight scene. And we're at home in Bath and I was like, dad, I think you should watch this movie with me, The Raid. He was like, okay. And it's like, yeah, it's like Silat,

Silat, which is like Malay Indonesian martial art. It's like Silat, it's really good movies. I'm like, oh, okay. And then like we just, but we didn't even, I was like, I'm not even gonna bother putting this on the family TV. No. I just walked with him with my laptop.

I felt like I was about to show him some porn. I walked with him to my laptop. We went into my bedroom, I just put it on a desk and we just sat on like chairs and watched the rain on my laptop in my room. Like you were both at uni together. Yeah. No, really?

Yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, I'm not gonna put this on in front of the women. I was like, this is boy time. This is boy bonding time. It's the most segregated thing you've ever said. It's not for them. I just knew my mom would come up with their eyes. I knew my mom would walk in and go, oh, what's this? This is horrible.

And I think that's what my dad had been sort of, you know. Dreading. Yeah. He'd go, oh shit. Yeah. Oh, okay. Theyreading. Yeah. He'd go, shit. Yeah. They've seen something horrible. Well, yeah. Yeah, cause my dad was watching something.

He like, mom would watch it and go, oh, this is horrible. What is this, Benny? And you go, oh no, change is okay, change, change. But you could tell that he was disappointed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, we need to watch this away from mom. I'd be disappointed if I had to stop watching the raid

and I'd started. Yeah, exactly. Once that thing's on. It's awesome. It's so good. It's like Predator. I've never seen Predator. You're kidding. I've never seen Predator. Predator is one of those movies where you just go like, it's always on like channel five. Yeah. If I ever see it on, it's like, it's like quicksand in a fantasy game. I'm dead. Predator's on. I'm calm. This is where I am now. Predator's on. Yeah, it's one of those. If it bleeds, we can kill it. It's so good. Okay, I need to watch that. It's so good. I need to watch that. And there's some great behind the scenes pictures of how the Predator monster used to look before

they got a really good person in to make the face and the animatronics. It looked really, very crap. It looked very like a budget movie from a develop developing nation. Yeah. Yeah. It looked like something I'd be on in Malaysia in a coffee shop. Yeah. Where it's just like, um, the alien just looks kind of like a guy covered in like biking equipment. Like a sort of big head on top of his head. You go, right, okay, hmm. And instead it looks fucking sick. Yeah. Yeah, so I was doing dad watching Returnable

and then I joined in. Sitting at a desk watching the rate on the laptop just with your hands in your lap. Yeah. That's bonding. I think of that as like a prime bonding moment between me and my dad. My dad watches a lot of crime.

True crime or like NCIS. A lot of CSI NCIS. Any acronym show where there's like an incredibly overfunded lab. Yes! Where they just go like, enhance! You're a neighborhood police department. And they can sequence like a genome in like 30 seconds. They put a sample and then they go blblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblbl that's very American and it's on some niche, one of the high numbered channels. Right.

And the announcer was this incredible, every, there were so many episodes of it. And the majority of them were like not interesting because at most crime is not interesting. It would literally be like- Oh, this is a true crime thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would be like documentaries.

Yeah. But the murders were like, or whatever, were just like. Genuinely, 90% of them are just detectives found that Jeremy Pimpkin had recently signed without the knowledge of his wife, a two million dollar life insurance contract, which they found beneath the gun itself. He was like, right. So he's right. So that tick. Yeah. And then an interview with like the fattest sheriff you've ever seen in your life. Like they were always.

Oh yeah. When you see real world American law enforcement, you're like, you're kidding. How did you get to the crime? They're always so fat. They have a slate gray mustache and they're very softly spoken and they seem quite polite. And he's just like leaning back in this chair, a perfect sphere with a mustache going, well, then of course I made egress to the home of the supposed perpetrator. We alighted from the car. We alighted from the car and I realized that while he was looking at me and saying that he didn't know about any murder, that he had in his hand a blood soaked firearm. And so I thought to myself, I don't know if I can trust what this man is saying.

I don't know if I can trust what this man is saying. Tadong! Sheriff Pumpkins decided to enter the home, and they're like the worst reconstructions you've ever seen. And it all looks like it's filmed on like an old VHS camera from the 90s. Just mad. Really really crap. No mystery to it. No riddles.

It was not the fucking zodiac killer. It's just a guy in a trailer who murders his fucking wife for the insurance. He's got K. Every week. Every week. And that's why I grew up so anti-murder, Phil. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the origin story. Watching these shows, I thought, you know what, I would hate to be murdered. It looks boring. It looks more than anything. Boring. And you're not, you don't exist anymore. So those are two bad things. And you become the subject of an embarrassing reenactment. An embarrassing reenactment where they cast someone who often doesn't even seem to be of the same gender or ethnic group as you, just to kind of flail around in the background

in a blur. No thank you. And they cast, they use the sheriff in the reenactment even though this was 20 years ago and he has become a sphere since then. So he's kind of like doing his best to seem like he's still kicking in the door or whatever. It's all very mundane. It's boring. A lot of the crimes are just very, very boring. But it was sort of moderately interesting as to how the various mustachioed spheres solved them. And that when your dad watches these shows, does he like say things? Does he go, aha, they got him and things like that?

Sometimes he'll comment on things. that. Sometimes he'll comment on things Yeah, sometimes he'll make comments I remember I remember I learned a lot of gun facts watching action movies. Yeah with my dad Yes, he knows about guns and therefore now so do I Yeah, so he'd be like, oh, that's the same because we had some pistols in South Africa. We had guns Yeah, so when James Bond gets his Walter ppk out So he'd be like, oh, that's the same... Because we had some pistols in South Africa, we had guns. Yeah. So when James Bond gets his wealth of PPK out,

my dad would always be like, that's the one that we had in the house. That's the one I used to carry around. And I was, oh, okay. That's a pretty iconic gun to have in the house. Yeah, but it's good for carrying around. Because that's the reason that James Bond uses it, because it has got a short... it's a snub nose kind of thing. Oh, yeah.

It's very easy to pull out of a pocket. Okay. You know, it doesn't get caught in it's a snub nose kind of thing. It's very easy to pull out of a pocket. You know, it doesn't get caught in anything. So you hear this kind of thing. Whereas my father would comment on martial arts being used and he'd argue why Kempo, our martial art was better. Yeah, nice, I like this a lot. This one, this fighting style is like the balances

and he'd just start critiquing. The raid. So he'd be like, yeah, I guess he killed 11 men in that corridor, but he was off balance I'd love that. I think that's perfect. Yeah, dad's want to watch something that's exciting, but I they can't treat critiquing They can correct it. Yes. Yeah, or at least our dads who are you know, let's face it parents Yes. Yeah, and that's where we get this from. That's where we get this from. What's the most dad film, do you think? Oh.

The Bonds are always up there, but they're not globe. Not necessarily, I don't know if they're globe. Maybe. Bonds are very dad. And what's the sort of- Die Hard. Die Hard, are there any of the World War II ones? They're not really so much.

They're like World War II documentaries, not so much World War II films. There haven't been very many World War II films compared to how many there used to be. Right, yeah. So like Bridge Over River Kwai. Great Escape. Great Escape, yeah. Great Escape, yeah. Guns of Never Own.

So many about like Rommel and like North Africa as well, a lot of those. Loads and loads and loads of World War Two films. And now recently what I mean like Fury, Saving Private Ryan, the series Band of Brothers. Broadly that's it really. I don't think Marvel is dad. Marvel is not dad. No way. Marvel is childless adult man. Is there anything for the dads anymore? Won't someone please think of the dads? Think of the pappas. Think of the pappas. I don't think there's any movies for dads, you know? Fury. Was Fury for dads? Not ages ago though. Yeah. Um, there's gotta be something.

And I don't think anything with Brad Pitt in it is actually for dads. Mmm, he did have a lovely haircut. He did have a lovely haircut. He did have a lovely haircut. The Tantinas? They're a bit violent and sexy for the dads. They're violent, yeah. Poor dads. There's nothing for the dads. What is for the dads? I guess, I guess, um... Like historical fiction?

Gran Torino. Right, okay. Kind of. Where like a grouchy old dad is like the hero because it's a Clint Eastwood film Flags of our fathers and the Irojima and stuff, but that's for American dads. That's a lot more in depth Global dad would want a global dad global dad. Yeah, you and I have global dad. You and I have global fathers Whose stride continents who span continents of taste. Yeah, but maybe bond is just the general but I'm not sure if there's there's got to be something that we're not thinking of. My dad is just all any Kung Fu thing Jackie Chan who's obsessed. I'm going to close the door. Oh yeah. It's because Phil's about to talk about Jackie Chan. He doesn't want anyone hearing the kind of things he has to say.

People heard the things I think about Jackie Chan. My life would be over. But I think men of that age and that generation, I think they have preferences, but they find expressing preferences embarrassing. Yeah, it's um, I think the idea that my, I think my father found the idea that he, that he might want to watch something over something else would be embarrassing to, to confess. I don't know why. I think it's that it's an extension of like, um, why it took so long for men and even for me to like order a latte. Is it kind of general? Anything nice is unmanly. Anything nice. Caring too much about something

that isn't like very important is unmanly. Like moisturizing. You're saying, you're saying, uh, I'm going to spend money. I don't need to spend on a vanity of, and, and, and, and anxiety. And I'm not supposed to ever feel vanity or anxiety, nevermind spend money. So I have committed three dad sins. Yes. And I will be judged accordingly. The deadly daddly sins. The daddly sins. The seven daddly sins. The dadly sins. The seven dadly sins. Pride. What are the seven dadly sins? Choice. Choice. Pride. Lights. Lights. Lights. Choice, pride, lights. Because I mean pride in the sense that like you can be proud of like you may be building a deck or something but you can be proud of like you may be building a deck or something but you can never be you have to be like oh yeah well done yeah yeah you've been too

over expressive of pride in my experience my yeah my father's expression of pride of something would be just trying to try and convince people to use it or like if you had if there's something he'd improve something on the patio he's like come we sit over here come here he wouldn't say he wouldn't say come look at what i've done in the patio go i said yeah there's nice nice nice yeah yeah yeah yeah so pride um um vanity pride vanity waste waste which i guess covers lights lighting whatever eating all that yeah yeah yeah pride vanity waste i mean these are these are the some overlap with normal deadly sins, I suppose. Sadness. Expressions of sadness. Yes. You just have to be like, okay. Yeah. Um, uh, uh, planning. Planning. Yeah. Is a sin. Is it like, you know, you just, you figure it out and you

don't want instructions. Instructions is a sin. And that covers like asking for directions and all this sort of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Being late. Being late. Like airports and so on. Oh, okay. Okay.

Yep. Or maybe that's too specific. Planning is kind of a... What about hiring someone? Ah, paying. Paying. Oh yeah. Is that under waste?

Well, it's not a waste because I can be like- It's about giving the job to someone else. Yes. When you can do it, isn't it? Yes, yes, that's it. No, but I don't need someone to come fix the toilet. I'll break the toilet myself. Delegation then.

Delegation is a sin. Delegation is a sin, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, delegation. Let's go to the seven deadly sins. Have you got seven now? I think so. I can't remember them now. So we had pride, vanity,

Pride, vanity. Waste. Waste. Sadness. Sadness. I can't remember them now. So we had pride, vanity, pride, vanity, waste, sadness, sadness, instructions, instructions, delegation, delegation. I think we've got one more to fill. Okay. One more dad, one more daddly sin. Maybe, uh, what else is there? I suppose like sensitivity, oversensitivity. Maybe that could be better than the sadness thing. Right.

Okay. So just sensitivity, not even over just like any sensitivity. Um, what else did dads hate? Remembering birthdays, celebrations, anniversaries, that kind of thing. Celebrations. Celebrations, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My father, throughout his life, would have to be reminded of his own birthday.

We'd say, is your birthday today, dad? And he'd go, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the sort of thing they say to Harry Potter. What? You have a birthday. Right, right, right. An orphan from under the stairs. But it's better to forget it than to like not know it. Yes, yes, yes, that's right. But again, it's like, it's just another job. That's it. Because you'd be like, oh, now I have to think about this. Yeah. So that's it then. That's the Seven Dadly Sins. Seven Dad Seven deadly sins. Yeah. This is good stuff. If anyone ever put, put buds, if you have any suggestions,

suggestions for deadly sins, we're always happy to listen to them. Phil and I are spiritually dads and we'd love to hear from you. And if any, um, well, the mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, like mumly is no, you know. Yeah, right. Yeah. Okay. We'll have to think about the maternal hellfire. What will see you in maternal hellfire? Send us the mumly and dadly sins. Mumly, mumly and dadly sin are being specific about what you want as a gift. You're not allowed. Oh, really? Yeah. thought, don't they want something specific so they can just get it? Yeah, but they'll just go, oh, just a candle. Oh, for them asking for a gift.

Yes, yes, yes. But that's because they came from a time where it was just like, anything wasn't nice. You know, just getting a thing. Getting an object. A new object is in my house. A new object, wow. Wow, a whole new object.

Speaking of new objects, in our house, we should read some correspondence. Speaking of sinful daddies, we should take a look at the world. Correspondence. So we've got some crappy, tatty, sort of slogany stuff from Will. Will gives us our fill. He gives us our fill of tat. Yeah. Hi, guys.

Couldn't think of anything witty to call you, but anyway. Look, we're all tired. We're all tired. Well, I'm a pod bud from New Zealand. A pod, a pod, pod, pod. A pod bud. Pod bud. No, they kind of say pod bud the same way. We say pod bud. It's a pod bud from New Zealand. I just want to let you know that I recently saw some scented

candles in a gift shop. Scented. Scented candles. Scented. In a gift shop. They say scented. Ease our eyes and eyes are eased. Scented. Sinted candles. Sinted. In a gift shop. They say Sinted. Ease our eyes and either ease. Sinted. Sinted candles. The label had the brand name on it and we and then read.

That's not what you were just talking about candles. Yeah, I was just talking about candles. As a gift. What the hell? Williams listening. Listening Willy. The label. Better than Whistling Lily. No, that's not that's not. Whistling Lily would be nicer than listening Willy. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Oh. Oh. Arancini. Um, Arancini is such a weird starter to me. So filling, just a ball of rice. Could I have three balls of rice? Oh, and deep fry them as well. I'm worried they won't be stodgy enough. Deep fry them. Oh, this ball of rice.

There is cheese in it. Yes, sir. Good. That should get my appetite up and raring to go for a full meal. A few little balls of rice filled with cheese. I'll just chow these down. The label on the scented candles had a brand name on it and then the motto read, We create happy.

Oh no. They create angry in me. Yeah, they They create angry in me. Yeah, they do create angry in me. We create happy. That's vile. So you're a scented candle. Fuck off. Just say you're sorry and let us buy the scented candles. I have so many candles in my house now. Do you?

In my flat, yeah. I'll have them. Will you? Yeah, I'll do it. I couldn't spare them. I can't spare them. I mean, I could, but my, my, I live with my girlfriend. It's like living in a nicely centered fucking Buddhist monastery. Yeah. Number of candles. Yeah. It's absolutely crackers. I like a centered candle these days. They, they, they, they mark the walls. They mark the walls.

The soot over time. Yeah. Well then fuck walls. The soot? Over time, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, then fuck them. You just get a Glade plugin. I want to burn them all in a fire. Wait. No. Also, I saw Phil do stand up in Auckland last year.

I thought he was hilarious. Oh, great. That's a fun show. I hope to read Pierre's book at some stage in the near future. Yes, please do pre-order that. It's available now. It's coming out on the 18th of July. Oh, I should also say thank you to all the PodBuds who came to see me at the Bloomsbury on Saturday

How was it? It's good. Yeah, it was fun. I'm sorry. I forgot I it was a lot of fun. I neglected to ask Oh, that's all right. It's happened. Gosh. We're very we're all very tired. We were talking about the blue happened gosh we're very we're all very tired we were talking about the bloomsbury show for so long yeah i was like it's one of those things i'll never happen this is this is just something we talk about it's like talking about the return of christ it's just about being ready for doing bloomsbury someday you know yeah it's the rapture that's that's not what the bloomsbury show yeah yeah me and everyone else have such a good time laughing at each other and me doing stand-up there, they get raptured. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just shoes and pants. Oh shit man, I didn't ask how that was. No, it was good. It was good. Very nice crowd, lots

of lovely people. And yeah, nice to, it had been a while since I wore the velvet jacket on stage. Is that true? I'd been sort'd been resting it after you don't do it with Frank I do. Oh, so I'd rested it I'd done a few gigs in a t-shirt like it was 2004 look velvet like grass needs some fallow time for the fibers to regrow Especially the urine to wash the wash away the urine from my go down to the ground. That's it. Exactly and also It's just very hot. It's a hot thing to wear.

Oh, it's a hot thing to wear. Then we have got... Pooh-pooh-la-la... A message from... A message from... I think that might be a Patreon message, so I'll sort of save it for that reason. Oh yes, for the bonus part.

Yes. So, hello Bum Bum Lifeboys, this is from Sam. Sam, god damn, you got us. You got us, Sam. We are Bum Bum Lifeboys. I saw this on Reddit and thought of you. I thought Phil would be particularly grateful of the stalwart attitude of the young man who troubled himself to de-tatify the items shown in the picture.

Okay. So there's items in a picture. Yes, so it's like- What kind of items are we talking? They are sort of Valentine's Day cards for school kids to give to each other. Yeah. It's definitely, especially in America.

Remember that episode of the Simpsons? I choose to choose you. I choose to choose you. I've got a choose you card. Yes, you do. My girlfriend gave it to me. Very sweet. Very nice.

It's a classic. It's a classic Valentine's card. Good reference. Very good reference. Um, yes. So it's like this of slightly childish cards.. Okay, they just saw pink flat card in flat cards It's of pre written sort of shape approved messages for children to give each other Yeah, romantic on a romantic holiday for adults who famously use it to bang each other on

But you know the kids can join in apparently for some reason Up to a point up to a point the kids can join in apparently for some reason. Up to a point. Up to a point the kids can join in. Mad. Um, so the, uh, this first one says, uh, I think you're berry cool. Aw, that's cute. But there's no berries on it.

Right. Why is berry coming up? Is the card in the shape of a berry? No, it's kind of in the shape of a paddle or a hot water bottle. Oh. Maybe the other side has berries on? Can't see the other side of it. Is the card in the shape of a berry? No, it's kind of in the shape of a paddle or a hot water bottle. Oh. Maybe the other side has berries on? Can't see the other side of it. Anyway, this guy, Henry, this kid Henry, just crossed out the word berry.

Oh, the kid has just corrected it. Yeah, he just crossed out berries. I just think you're cool. Oh, that's good of him. Then the other one he's corrected. Let's see if um... Let's see if you can guess the corrections. Metatat. You're guessing... you're trying to get into the mind of Henry. I'll tell you the original message.

I want you to guess what Henry scribbled it out and changed it to. So that's your first clue. Yeah. And Henry is a school child. It would seem so. So he changed, I think you're Barry cool to I think you're cool. So that gives you an idea of the man. This is his first crime scene. This is you're getting, you're walking around to I think you're cool. Yep. So that gives you an idea of the man. Okay.

This is his first crime scene. This is you're getting, you're walking around, he's a serial killer. You're going, okay, he doesn't like, he crossed out Barry. He doesn't like cutesy half puns. Exactly. Certainly he's not cutesy.

You're right. So the original message of another one, you're a real sweetie. He's crossed out, sweetie. You're a real sweetie. He's crossed out sweetie. You're right. And replaced it with... uh... pal.

Uh, he has replaced sweetie, but not with pal, but something even vaguer than pal. Friend. Um, person. Yeah, I'll give you that. Human. I'll give you that. Human. I'll give you that. You're a real human. From Henry. That's funny.

Then one more. You're the cherry on top, Valentine. And Henry's only crossed out one of these. No, he's crossed out a fair chunk of that one. You're a real, you're the cherry on top Valentine, as I says. You're the cherry on top, comma, Valentine. I guess it's addressing the person as if they like, you're my Valentine. Yeah.

So he's crossed out cherry on top Valentine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're the,...nice person. Even more neutral than that. It's pretty astonishing. You're the person. You're the present party. You're the present party.

You're the present party. You are here now. You're the kid in my class. I like that. Undeniable messages from Henry there. You're the kid in my class. You know what, Henry? I really like you. Well, you know what? You're the kid in my class. Henry, I love these cards. Well, you are the comedian Piano Valley. Thanks, Henry. That means a lot.

I'm so glad to hear you say that to my face. Now let's see... Needly, nodely, noo... Aha! So... This is from Ian. Ian. What you seein'? What you seein', Ian? What are you seein', Ian? You better be buyin' them Blu-rays, boy.

You think the government back east's gonna just hand you a copy of Ace Venture or two in nature calls? Um, Hi P.F. Ann from Canada checking in. It's addressed to me specifically because it's about the book. Oh, excellent. Your links to your new book do not work in Canada. They are localized because they tried to send me to Amazon.Canada,

but your book does not have a product page on Canadian Amazon, so it doesn't work. I've had similar problems with Canada. Yeah. I think Canada has its own publishing agreement. So like until I can convince someone a business in Canada that it's worth trying to sell in Canada, you may have to order internationally. And I apologize to my Canadian listeners. It's just we desolay poor les ecoute, que be quoi. Um, so apologies for that, that is true.

Ian continues, I'm deeply curious about it. Everyone in my family has Asperger's except me allegedly. You might just be the least extreme. Where there's autistic smoke, there's autistic fire. That's right. I went to get diagnosed, got a guy who is renowned as the toughest on autism diagnosis. That's funny I'm the toughest examiner in town if you want to be autistic by God You better be fucking bringing the noise as in he's hard to convince your artistic

I don't know or he's tough on telling everyone they're autistic. I think he's just hard to convince Yeah, I think you it sounds Ian like you got a person who's not I think it sounds Ian like you got a person who's not up to date on their methodology. Because the point of these tests is not to be like, you think I'm giving you free access to all the free ice cream you get with autism. You think you got what it takes to be autistic. You better know a hell of a lot about trains, boy. This is going gonna break you.

Like Bane, snapping your back, you know. You better learn about Warhammer, brother. Speaking of hammer. Yeah, I love hammering. Anyways, I'll get through this quickly. Guy was very, I went to get diagnosed, the guy who's the toughest, he said that while I scored an 18 where 12 was the score required to be qualified,

my communication score was too high. Well, Ian, I'm a professional standup, so I don't think communications being good is relevant. Yes. Having been a stoic, trivia, and history-obsessed logical humanist since the age of seven, this strikes me as idiotic, but they have their methodology, I suppose.

They don't, Ian, they're making it up. And I didn't meet the criteria because I communicate me as idiotic, but they have their methodology, I suppose. They don't hear and they're making it up. And I didn't meet the criteria because I communicate well as an adult, like many other people diagnosed with ASD one. Exactly. Baffling. Yes. Correct. I'm still unsure whether to assume he's wrong or whether it really makes any difference at 54. Well, that's up to you. But he was wrong. Whether or not it makes any difference to you. This man is wrong. He says some lovely things about our podcasts. I hope the book does well. I'm a bestselling fiction author and was a journalist for five years. So if you ever have any questions, drop me a line. Ian, I have a hundred thousand questions

for you. Oh, cool. Wow. That's really cool. See our fans, Phil. Yeah, they're next level. They're elite. They're autistic. They're anti-murder. They're pro-nuclear Well, thank you so much for your wonderful correspondence, yes, thank you guys Very kind and very sweaty and there's some hammering going on in the house. I do apologize We'll see patrons on Friday for the bonus pod. Yeah, everyone else will see you next week much love