BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 273 - Pre-Election Pod !

Episode Date: July 3, 2024

This week the lads get stuck in discussing the UK’s election options ahead of the big day on Thursday! The de-colonization of the pod continues of course… Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it's Budpond 273 273 we're on TV very nice look mom we're on TV it's different to say look mom isn't it look mom we're on TV look mom no hands that's how Canadians sound yes that's right mum look mum no. No bloody hands. It's a bloody shame mum. Mum it's a bloody shame that I haven't got my hands on my bicycle. I genuinely thought, as I said which episode it was, I thought oh what's Phil going to do to the TV was right there for you. It was right there, thank god.

Because this is our first ever filmed podcast. Yeah. It's finally, look, we sat down and we, you know, with Felipe, the producer, and we sat down and we said to ourselves, look, it's 2018. For God's sake. We should be filming these. We should. Cameras have been around now for five, ten years at least.

We should be getting this on film. They're not just for filming cats anymore. Boys on film. Boys on film. Do you think we'll do this enough that this couch becomes iconic and we sell it at auction? Yeah, I think so. In 20 years? It's iconic. It goes, the Friends couch in Central Perk,

the Friends couch in their opening... Actually, the Friends did a lot for couches. People don't talk about this enough. People talk about the fact that there were no minorities in it, but they forget what they did for the couch community. Yeah, the sofa representation was very strong. What would happen to the US sitcom without couches? Everyone would have to be sitting like... It's true because it is... On straight back...

Or armchairs like old colonels. I hadn't even thought of this but it is the ideal furniture to have multiple characters facing an audience. Yeah. Yeah. an audience. Yeah. Yeah. The sofa. Yeah. It's the mirror image of the TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The mirror image of the very TV they're going to be on. Like an hourglass. You set up a sofa to look at the TV, and then in the TV they set up a sofa to look into the camera. That's right. It's just sofas looking at sofas. It's sofas looking at sofas. That's what television is, it's just sofas looking at sofas. It's sofas looking at sofas. That's what television is, it's just sofas looking at sofas.

It's the infinity symbol, but with each side made out of sofas. Sofas all the way down. You know? Maybe they're watching a show about a hungover person. All the friends and friends are all watching a show where someone who had too much continental lager just farts themself into a coma. The one where I'm hanging out of my arse. The one where I just did a lot of shit. The one where I seem to have done a boiling poop.

Doesn't seem biologically possible. I'm not the torch from the fantastic war. But yes, video killed the podcast star and we killed ourselves. Well, we killed our old selves, I guess. Yeah, we're video killing the podcast star and we killed ourselves, well, we killed our old selves, I guess. Yeah. We're video killing the podcast star. Now we're under the watchful gaze of the Ebony Eye. Yeah.

The Ebony Eye. AKA the camera lens. The camera lens. And we've got more than one, so we each have our own face. Yes. One. We splooged on respective cameras. Yeah. We've gone through it. We splooged on respective cameras. We've gone through it.

We've splooged and we've splurged. We've got it all set up now. Felipe is back from Puerto Felipe. He chose the right side in the coup, so you'll notice that he's got some solid gold shoes, some untrustable Barabans, and an even nicer linen suit than left with He looks like the the parody of the boxing manager and the Simpsons Parody of Don King. Oh the donkey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah just covered in jewels. Yes We were discussing because Felipe is obviously fluent in Spanish, we were discussing the

Spanish Lisp. We were. Felipe's heritage is Latin, Spanish, Latin American. So their Spanish is San, San, San Lisp. Yes. And the Spanish are Con Lisp. They're Con Lisp. conlisp. They're conlisp. Conlisp. And I was saying how I've heard this folk rumour

that the Spanish have that lisp because one of the King Philips had a lisp and so everyone thought, oh, this is an erudite way to speak, an erudite, kingly way to speak is with a lisp, and so everyone adopt the lisp. Or we'll just flatter him. Yes, yes, so we don't embarrass him. So I just go, me too! That's so weird! That's so weird, you speak like that and now I speak like that.

What's happening? Yeah, the King Philip came out one day and said, guys, do I sound strange? And everyone was like, not at all, Farrah. No. But I've always... Strange? Strange?

Strange? No. Which bit of what you're saying is strange? He found normal to me. Do you think it was after like a month of everyone at the... in the castle, just trying to not use the letter S, like one of those parlor games. Yeah. Yeah going my leash

We are being we are being invaded by the enemy. There we go. Yeah, just really thinking Just an ass One of your nights has betrayed you which one Not sir The night called, you know, he's betrayed you. Which one? Not sir. The knight called... You know, like he's really... You know, the one... His name rhymes with Hebastian. Shit, I said Hebastian.

Hebastian. Wait, how do you say that? What do you... Wait a second. What do you say to me? But I've always found this theory hard to swallow because in medieval fucking Spain, how would the common man have ever heard how the king sounded? It wasn't like he was doing the Christmas speech.

No one knew what these people sounded like. You could argue like, okay, so he takes power when he's 21 and by the time he's 50, it's reached like a farmer in Valencia somewhere. But even then, like ridiculous, like you say. And also, how stupid does the king have to be? You're stupid king if you're like, believe that this is huh. Yeah, I guess it is normal. But it's obviously he's going to be like, this is this is pathetic. It only makes sense if he was doing it as like a mafia thing. Yeah. Like just someone going, Sire and him just going, what was that? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm in fire. That's what I thought. That's what I thought you said. Carry on, please. If I ever hear you speak like that again you piece of shit

I'm gonna cut your fucking head off. What does not even say a crack just not even Not even having to say it just being that frightening Like if Vladimir Putin put on a list with all the Russians be like, I guess we have to you know Let's know we have to listen now Like it's such a power move. Mmm, but no, a friend of mine's partner is a linguist and says it is a linguist and says it is just like a mutation that can happen sometimes. It's an accent. Because it's not even every dialect in Spain. So it just happens to have happened.

But it does make learning, it's like the one hard thing about learning Spanish is to remember when to lisp and stuff. Because unlike French, it's actually written. I'd say the vocabulary and grammar are quite hard to learn too. But you've been the same as anywhere else. Whereas like, French is not written how it's pronounced. Spanish is. That's true.

It's quite phonetic, really. It's really phonetic. Except for when it's Lysper Clark You know, yeah, I don't want to order man man man Thanos. Yeah, I want to order man Thanos In terms of apples, is that apples? Yes Yes, I thought you think tomorrow. I'll be trying to order tomorrow's that's manana That would be funny if you're in Spain and people were like, Phil, when are we going to do the laundry?

And you're like, apples. Hey man, apples. Okay, manzana. Phil, would you like more? That's funny. Oh, but also, Phil, would you like more of anything? Tomorrow's? Yeah.

Wow. Are there any tomorrow's? Yeah, we'd all love a few more. How beautiful. We'd all love a few more of them, old pal. Tomorrow a day keeps the doctor away. It does. It does because you'll never die. I'm not wrong.

You're comparing Tomorrows and Pairs. I'm not wrong. You're comparing tamaras and pears. Oh, right. They are very different, much more different than apples and pears, which are, let's face it, both fruit from a tree. And therefore not that similar. Those apples and oranges. Apples and oranges fell down the apple.

You fell down the tam's in Bears? Yeah. Tomorrow's in Bears. For fuck's sake. Well, speaking of people with lisps, the Labour Party is going to win on Thursday, probably. I was wondering how... Speaking of people with intolerable lisps. The Labour Party's set to win. That's so funny. It's such a good observation. I think about it so much because it happens so much.

And obviously it's not 100% true, but like a lot of really great comedy observations, it just needs to be like about 30% true for the people you hear from. Yes. Yeah, exactly. And then it's not 100% true, but like a lot of really great comedy observations, it just needs to be like about 30% true for the people you hear from. Yes, yeah exactly. And then it works. Because if it's all of them, it'd be a trite obviously to say. Yeah. Whereas it's just enough that you go, oh yeah. You just go, wait, oh shit, I hadn't even quite registered just how many like adenoidal

voices there were. I mean, Starmer's not quite Miliband level, but it's still there. No, they've all got their own... He's still very... Up here. It's like it's right wing to sneeze. It's right wing to blow your nose. It's right wing.

Yeah. But you're right, if it was all of them, then it would be like saying, oh, the Tauri sound posh. You'd be like, yeah, we know. Yeah. What else you got? Yeah. Yes, they are. By the time you hear this, it will be 24 hours before what I think is going to be the funniest night of my life.

I cannot wait. For me, the funniest outcome would be if the conservatives win and Rishi Zuniga still has to be prime minister. No one will be more win and Rishi Zuniga still has to be prime minister No one will be more annoyed than Rishi Zuniga. If it's possible to kill yourself with a lectern, he'll do it He's gonna slam his head onto that microphone so hard that he'll just be dead. It'll be like something from fucking Midsommar Smash his own brain open It'd just be that you're fucking kidding me. The first thing he does isn't call Kyrstallmer, he calls his real estate agent for California and he's just like, I'm so sorry. They've fucking done it.

They did it to me. I'm going to have to keep doing this. This job I hate. It's interesting to watch someone like him where, you know that thing where like in ancient Greek democracies you'd be picked at sort of random ballot. I think Rishi's last few months has been a simulation of what that would be like. Someone who doesn't want to do it, who's exhausted and hates it. Just having to go, so you make sandwiches here in the factory, that's interesting.

Like just really so not liking it. He never has to wear a fucking hard hat ever again. Or high vis. Or high vis. Unless he's cycling down California's beautiful roads. He can return to his golden plow at last. He never needs to pretend to know how much milk costs. Yes.

He can just have milk droned to his mansion by some sort of Silicon Valley startup called Milker with no E, you know. Self-driving milk. We finally did it. That's a little self-driving milk like a control car. Just through a little like cat flap. Yeah. Yeah, it'd be so funny if he wins. That would be very funny. just through a little like cat flap. Yeah, that's his future.

Yeah, it'd be so funny if he wins. That would be very funny. Hilarious. Second funniest outcome, Lib Dem opposition. Yeah, I mean that's not completely out of the question, is it? Worst case scenario, it could happen. The stats aren't bad enough. There's a crazy stat from the other week, one pollster asked the British public how do the Tories deserve

to lose every seat? And it's like 60%. Yes, it's crazy. Honestly. It's going to be so funny. 60% of people, I think 60, I have this thing with 10s where I confused the number or the complementary number. The complementary number, whatever it takes it to 10. So I confuse 6 and 4. If it's percentages, I'll confuse 60 and 4 so you're on 80 and 20. Oh really?

Yeah. That's like something from a Babylonian's mind. That's crazy. For people who count in base 24 or something. Well, I just, I... I like that a lot. I remember the split and I sometimes forget to remember which slice I'm talking about.

So if something is like 90% likely, you're like, that's 10%, that's 90% likely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm pretty sure 60%. And if you were a Spanish king, everyone else would have to fuck that up. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

They'd all have to go, okay, minus 10. They'd have to figure it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was that, man. Either way, it was 60 or 40. Okay. Yeah. And those are people who think they deserve to lose every seat in the country. I can't wait to see which cabinet... I think even Suleyman is now saying it's going to be Labour. Or at least, his implication of the things he's saying now is, it's going to be labor. Or at least, his implication of the things he's saying now is, it's going to be labor, just don't give him too much of it. Someone online was pointing out, someone right wing was pointing out how stupid it was to be like, oh, it's going to be a labor landslide, but just don't give them a super majority.

Because first of all, supermajority doesn't exist. It's an American idea, isn't it? Yeah, and a few other countries. But secondly, that makes people more likely to vote reform. Because if you say to people who vote reform, like, no, no, don't vote reform, because your few reform protest votes will keep Labour out, if you give them to the Tories. Whereas if you say to reform, it's going to happen anyway. Fill your boots. Sorry, what are you saying here? So you've got a bunch of people who normally Tory, but they're voting reform.

They'd still vote Tory if they thought it would stop Labour. If you as the Tory start saying to them, oh, nothing's going to stop Labour. Right, right. Then the former are like, well, then we may as well fucking vote the way we want to. Why would we lend you anything then if you're going to lose anyway, you fucking lose it. Yeah, yeah. So they've been going around making a problem even worse. The Tories have been running this campaign like it's the fucking producers. It is. You know? It's like...

Farage is the Nazi guy. Springtime for Farage. Just like tweed Lederhosen, the ultimate combo. I'm so excited. I'm so excited to see someone who, I'm very excited. Rishi Sunak might lose his seat. It's not impossible. Yeah, that's incredible.

It's not impossible. Speaking of even more people with speech impediments, did you see Joe Biden in the debate? He's got a stutter. Oh my God. The stutter wasn't the problem. No, I mean, normally saying you didn't notice the stutter would be a good thing. But in this case, you didn't notice the stutter because you're barely talking. Coherently at all. He sounded like a horn.

My kingdom for a stutter in that Biden performance. He sounded like a haunting One like his horse whispering through a door, I mean, you know, it's gone Like you've shut the first one of those ghosts they can't come through a door for whatever reason and just outside doing It's like a TV on in the flat next door is crazy even so Even Trump was like even Trump was like basically like looks like he's embarrassed for him It wasn't even like making fun of him anymore. She's like, geez At the end of one Biden's rambles and Trump just goes Well, I didn't understand

that. I don't know what you're saying at all. And I don't think you understand what he's saying. And everyone's like, yeah, you got to hand that to him. The problem with trying to debate Donald Trump is that he's like whatever the fucking fat old white guy version of Eminem and 8 Mile is, like, he's just so good in the moment in front of a crowd. I mean, he's like a perfect bully. He's been a bully his whole life.

He's a horrible bully. Yeah. And bullies are really good at saying clever, devastating things. And they're really funny. Yeah. Sleepy Joe. It's simple, but it works. It's so good, Sleepy Joe.

And just waiting for your opponent to finish going, I don't know how to show you. I don't know how to show you. And just going, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, of these things and did this big, like, inspiring list. And I thought, yeah, that's good speech. And then Donald Trump was like, swimming along the lines of, you've been in government for like 20 years. Why didn't you? Oh, yeah. I went, oh, no. Oh, no. It was like in a Terminator prequel when the robot just like pick something up without being told to. And you're like, no, no, no, it's learned. Like I was so, my blood ran cold. I thought, fuck, he's learned. Yes, yeah.

Someone told him something and he actually remembered it for once. It's oh, fuck, oh shit. And that was, yeah, I mean, I think I- Just look at it, someone go, I don't know what you just said. So devastating. Obviously he's on some level smart, Trump,

but then on top of that, it is this layer that's just monkeys, just rumbling underneath is this kind of smart guy. And sometimes a smart guy will just like push his head through the monkeys and go, then why didn't you do it? And the monkeys just, you know, drowning. Push his head through the monkeys is so funny. Like normally he's in like a coffin of chimps and he's just having to like... Don't invest in that! And then it's back to just screaming and flinging shit.

Yeah. Yeah, I think that's accurate. Because he has a smartness to him. He understands... He obviously... He clearly understands people's limits. He's got the smartness. And he's able to push people and systems to their limit and come out kind of okay. He's got the smartness of a guy who in a sort of movie set in the 50s would be leaning against a wall flicking a coin.

Yeah. He's like a dodgy scam guy. Yeah. If you say to him, there's a kind of loophole in the system. If you build a casino and you lose bajillions of dollars, then you can somehow carry those losses over to other unrelated businesses. Then he'll just go, well, I'll do that then. Oh, if it means I can say, yeah, I'll do that.

Yeah, well, it would be very embarrassing to have a casino that loses money. No, I'll do that. We just have to pay for it to be built. No, I'll just not pay any of the contractors. I'll just, I just won't pay them and I'll just sort of intimidate them. Well, you'd have to file for bankruptcy while I do built. No, I'll just not pay any of the contractors. I'll just, I just won't pay them. And I'll just sort of intimidate them. Well, you'd have to file for bankruptcy while I'll do that. Yeah, I'll do that. I'll do that seven times.

I'll give a shit. Next question. It's like, oh, fuck, okay. You've got to the end of the booklet of like instruction, like the law book. I never got this far before. Yeah, exactly. Oh yeah, then apparently, yeah, nothing happens.

I never got to the end. I should have read this whole thing. It's like a choose your own adventure book where it just says, you did it. It's the page that just says you did it. You go, oh, okay. You did it. You did it. You've somehow done the business equivalent of asking the genie for infinite wishes.

Do you think that they will replace Biden now? And that's what the scrambling to do behind the scenes. They have to convince Jill Biden, who is basically like holding Biden up. We're like, Weekend at Bernie's. She's putting sunglasses on him and just... Wheeling him to various conventions. Yeah, so they're like whispering in her ear, right? They're trying to get her to... They're trying to say to her, your husband's really fucking old by the way.

Would it be that if they got rid of him temporarily, the president would just have to be Kamala Harris or something? It would be presumed as well, it's quite rude to be like, Well, Madam Vice President, we're getting rid of the president, so let's just say it's time for you to also go away, please. But she gets it at this point, doesn't she? She didn't get that far by not being ambitious and self-interested. I know, I know. And their numbers are so bad. They're terrible.

I was saying to Alex, I'm a big US politics dweeb. I've never seen anyone be vice president and do like nothing. She hasn't seem to have done anything. No, like visits abroad or big campaigns or you at least have to... I think I'm still as more aware of Mike Pence than. Yeah, because he would go out and do some chilling evangelical ceremony. Yeah, at least it was something. Or he'd do a big long speech where he kept referring to his wife, his mother.

Yeah. Like some guy from Arrested Development. Yeah. So like, oh, obviously these things are unsettling. He'd go to the Lego store for his haircut He'd go have some more hair drilled on the mechanics Anything like that and like that's all you have to do vice president has no official duties at all

It's a made-up job in case someone dies Yeah So you have to make it your own like she should maybe she has been but she hasn't been very good at publicizing Yeah. So you have to make it your own. Like she should, maybe she has been, but she hasn't been very good at publicizing, going out and making sure that every kindergarten has a fucking apple tree or, you know, doing a big campaign to do with literacy or clean the highway or some shit. And as far as I can tell, she's been playing Fortnite for the whole four years. And so...

And until being weird. And being a bit slightly unsettling herself. So it seems like the choices between a zombie and a ghost. Yeah, yeah. It's a shambling old skeleton and then there's like a ghost lady who's not there. Why have you seen that viral video of her going, You think you just fell out of the tree? You live in the context.

And everyone's just watching her go, And she's just rambling. She's just talking about trees. And she's just rambling. She's just talking about trees. And she's laughing at herself. And she's talking about, it's hard to tell exactly, but I think what she's trying to get at is everyone is sort of shaped by their environment and their experience. But what she says is, you think you just fell out of a coconut tree? And then she code switches instantly and becomes serious.

You live in a cunt in the context. I think she just says the context. You live in the context. Yeah, they're both fucking- Someone rang me up at three in the morning and said, you live in the context. I call the police. It's a terrifying thing to hear. That's like someone, a mad person on public transport.

You think you all just fell out of a coconut tree? You live in the context. You'd be like, just don't look at him. The problem is that these politicians are so fucking old, they're not used to communicating in a soundbite-friendly way, like an internet soundbite way. These people are old enough to be like, well, you want that to be a 20 second clip on CNN tonight? No, no, no. How fucking weird are you going to seem with those two sentences in a row on TikTok? Yeah. Set to like, Belarusian dubstep.

That's what the the Obamas at least got more. Yeah. So for me, just stay away from eccentric metaphors. Yeah. Because Kamala Harris and Biden have both dabbled. She's going to have our coconut trees. He's talking about being called corn pop or something at some point. You have the morals of an alley cat. Alley cat. It's the oldest thing I've ever heard anyone say in my life. So the morals of an alley cat. Joe, the main problem we're hearing on the doorstep is that people think you're too old. So in today's debate, can you try to use vernacular as maybe a little more modern than when we

were young? Yeah, sure. You have the morals of an alley cat. But he's like, now listen here, Jack. Jack? Does he say that? Yeah, all the time. Here now listen here, Jack. Jack? Does he say that? Yeah, all the time. Here's the thing, Jack. He's so close to going, yeah, see?

He seconds away. How do you talk like Bugs Bunny? Like a dying Bugs Bunny. See here, Jack. Yeah, it's like someone's shot a greaser, like a 50s greaser. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He should be rolling dice against an alley wall and watching out for Officer McGillicuddy. Here's the thing, Jack.

Amazing. So this morals of an alley cat just means horny, doesn't it? Well, he's not wrong. I think that was in reference to Tommy Daniels. I'm not going to argue against Tom Trump being a horny man. Yeah. I just don't think that's going to lose any. It's all baked in. It's baked in or even approved of.

Yeah. Well, like, yeah, finally a president who's as horny as I am. This is my, I, this whole big, I think people haven't really understood this whole big thing I deal with, especially with Trump. When he was convicted, people got all excited about it. And they were like, wow. This will show his supporters. Yeah, his supporters who tried to do a coup.

Yeah. Now that he's done some minor fraud. They're going to see how unscrupulous he is. And if I know anything about this basket of deplorables, it's that they don't like an unscrupulous man. Another weird metaphor. Why a basket? Yeah. You put them in a basket. Is Trump carrying a basket?

Is he going shopping? Skipping through the fields, picking up incels and popping them into... Field of incel flowers. Big anti-social smelly field. Yeah. Yeah. Terrible. But it's baked in that he'd be arrested. Yeah, and it was baked in that Biden was fucking old, but they thought that he'd be old in a way that was less haunting. But then the next day I saw him do a speech where he was like firing on all cylinders.

Nearly after the debate. Yeah. It just seems to be a coin flip with this guy. The thing that they put out was like, oh, it's because he's not, it was at like 9pm. He's not sharp at 9pm. But didn't they choose the date and time of the debate? It's an optional debate. Yeah.

This wasn't one of the ones that's compulsory. Yeah, right. They just thought, let's get this out here early. But let's make sure the public know they're voting for a whispering skeleton. The conspiracy theory is that they did that so that... For them, worst case scenario was he does it so badly, everyone goes, we have to, and they have enough time to replace him. That's a conspiracy theory. So if they'd w- that's the 4D chess angle.

So if they'd waited till November, whatever, no not November, that'd be too late, but September debate, they would have gone, god there's no time. Because I think technically he still hasn't accepted the nomination. I think it has to be at the national convention. Right yes. In Chicago. That's what happened just yet. Right.

But they need to figure out how to get rid of him and how to break the bad news to Kamala Harris and be like... But because this is a crazy thing... You're very quiet and weird. You're not allowed to be the candidate, go away. Because this is the thing about they're so little control of the presence like a king, which is ironic because they build the whole system to not be like to not be like a monarchy whereas in the UK a prime minister can be ousted by his party if not enough of them like it

yeah that's true mmm oh and also the the mad far right's done very well in France yes we're running out of we're about to do some correspondence, but we should also say France has made some funny decisions. Because this was Macron's and he decided to go early with them. Because their system is they have… President and parliament separate. So the parliamentary elections he's called early. He will still be president. He's trying to be president until 2025.

He'll still be the president, yeah. So he's basically trying to call the bluff of this far-right moving France. He said to the French public, yeah, yeah, you like communists and Nazis? Yeah. Well, why don't you smoke the whole pack? Let's see how cool you think it is to hang out and vote for these guys once you've smoked a whole pack of them. That seems to be the theory.

Again, I think the 4D chess theory there is that he doesn't even mind if they gain a lot of influence. Yeah. Basically, he hopes that Marine Le Pen, the party wins some seats. And then now that they have to govern, instead of just complaining all the time, the French public will see them for what they really are just in time for the presidential election in 2015. Yeah.

That is a bit of a gamble. We'll see if it works. What an odd little man. Speaking of odd little men and women, we have to do some correspondence now. Letters, emails, phone call, tweets, your sister will keep tree I've come to prove that I'm the best in the world Correspondence Before I read this, my book comes out in two weeks Oh!

Pre-order my book! Do do do Please, if you would, be so kind Correspondence, dear PNP, quite a while ago now, you boys discussed the lady who prodded a dog A... Nah Proded a dog... prodded a dog? You boys discussed the lady who prodded a balloon dog sculpture off a plinth at an exhibition in the US. Yes.

Accidentally shattering it all over the floor. Very valuable. What's the artist's name? Coons. With a K? Yes. Just balloon dogs, isn't it, for him? Yeah, that's his main thing. It's sort of these...

It's kind of gaudy pop art, Gus Gumpches. Poop. Yeah. And his studio just like churns him out now. Sure, yeah. I'm sure... Yeah, ridiculous. Fucking Renaissance Italy. This prompted me to recall an art-based embarrassing story of my own, and I thought it was worth sharing. This story doesn't involve poo, vomit, wee, or any other bodily fluids, so it's perfect for Budpod 2.0. See what you've done, Phil?

Number 2.0. Ah, no! The Arsion regime! No, decolonization must be continued! Work's never done. And that's it. That's the thing about decolonization. The first step is understanding that you will never be done and you will never be finished. You have to feel bad forever. Yeah, you'll always be a colonizer. You'll always be pooing and weeing and joking about pooing and weeing.

It's a lifelong mission. This tale takes place in London in the summer of 2012. Ah, beautiful. The London Olympics. Phil Wang and Piano Veli graduate from university. That's right. The future is looking bright for the UK, a cornerstone member of the EU. The city was awash with Union Jack Bunting, Olympics imagery everywhere you looked, and an even higher proportion of lost-looking tourists than usual.

Was I enjoying the patriotism, strolling through Trafalgar Square and happily pointing said tourists in the right direction? Was I fuck? I was a broke student and had taken a job as a waitress with an events company to get myself through the long summer break. On the particular day where our story takes place, I was working at the opening of a new exhibition

at the Royal College of Art. Beautiful. Beautiful building. Lovely building. Towards the end of my shift, my feet grew tired. And as I realized that people who attend these kinds of events are unlikely to tip their Waitresses generously so did my interest in the whole situation

By them by the museum Then but they're definitely when when he meant to tip him It's a good question never pay for anything's that US thing where people watch too many movies growing up and they think someone's gonna say, money sounds nice. And slap a crisp note into your plastic pocket. Fiver. There's still paper money then.

Still paper money. Still paper money. Someone would put some old paper in your pants. No one in the UK tips anyway, by American standards. I was moving through the crowd, steadily piling my tray with more and more empty Pym's glasses to the point where it was heaving and started to make my way back to the bar. At this point, a large square man leant over and gently placed an empty flattened crisp packet right on top of the approximately 20 glasses on my tray What a cunt what an awful move

It would not even gonna blow away like it's gonna blow away it's what it people are pigs Like he was attempting to build a second layer on which to pile more glasses It's gonna blow away. People are pigs. People are pigs. Like he was attempting to build a second layer on which to pile more glasses. Obviously this man, here we go, obviously this man had no concept of physics and what air will do to a light as a feather crisp packet perched precariously on top of some glasses on a tray when you walk quicker than a snail's pace. Thankfully, I happened to be walking past an enormous yellow bin on my way back to the bar and rather skillfully, I thought, popped the past an enormous yellow bin on my way back to the bar and rather skillfully

I thought popped at the crisp packet into the bin with a spare hand and continued on my journey. Wow, that's good balance lovely As I was walking away, I had a significant amount of muttering gasps and giggles. Oh No, what happened a woman even said in a shocked whisper? She just put a crisp packet in there. She just put a crisp packet in there. Oh no. It was the Queen's mouth. Now let's see what it was.

With a kind of tone I would expect if I genuinely stabbed someone, I scurried to the bar and peered back around the corner to see what they were muttering about. That's funny. Huh? Huh? Huh? Just like that around the corner. That's right gents, what I thought was a bin was actually a 40,000 pound sculpture in price, not weight, American listeners. 40,000 pound

sculpture, at least I think it was about 40,000 pounds, please don't check this. Please don't check this. Please don't check this. I don't check this. Please don't check that. I have attached a photo of the exact piece to explain why I thought that something shaped, styled, and that looked exactly like a fucking bin was actually a bin. I have attached a photo of the exact piece to explain why I thought that something shaped, styled, and that looked exactly like a fucking bin was actually a bin. Yes, in hindsight, it was much bigger and more yellow than the other small, discrete bins dotted around the exhibition space, but it was still also a bin.

Now I've scrolled down to look at this image, Phil. Yeah. It's a bin. Really? It's not like a bin. Because I'm picturing a sort of like alien coral kind of shape, you know. Where like it would be a bin in the corner of your eye. Yeah, yeah, yeah, if you weren't't looking but like if you looked at it properly I was

picturing like one of those sort of square flappy lid bins you get sometimes hmm where it's not actually for something like crisp packets it's for something a bit more niche but it's still a bin like needles yeah like mop juice or something okay some weird little thing like that some sort of custodial looking yellow bin. Yeah, it's a bin for someone who works there. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a bin that's often attached to a very big trolley

covered in mops. It's wheeled around. No, I can't emphasize enough to you. I'll show you in a second. It's a fucking bin. So what was I to do? Pretend it was part of some performance or admit my mistake to my boss and get fired? No, instead I took the high road and avoided that particular area and hid in the toilets for the final 30 minutes of the shift Before scuttling over to retrieve the crisp packet once the art wankers had gone Pleasingly the crisp packet was not the only rubbish to have made its way into the day. There you go. But did the other stuff follow the Chris packet was not the only rubbish to have made its way into the bin. There you go. But did the other stuff follow the Chris packet though? Yeah, yeah.

Was the Chris packet the first thing to go in and someone went, oh yeah, it is a bin. Or maybe it was a big thing where she put the Chris packet in and all the other people went, oh, so clever. And also, let's all put our rubbish in the bin everyone, quickly. It's an observation on our... She's just critiqued it in fewer words than anyone could have imagined possible. And just everyone's popping all that. It's a commentary on our throwaway culture.

What we're doing to the earth. It's literally a bin. Literally. It's literally, it's in the word. And people just like that kind of golf clapping. Literally. It's in the word. And people just like that kind of golf clapping. Yeah. So it wasn't the only rubbish. I removed the Tyrol's packet and other bits of litter before wondering, they might have

actually been part of the sculpture itself and on balance, figured it was safer to pop them back in again. Your bit of rubbish is the only unlicensed bit of rubbish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you might be right. You might be right. You don't know. I spent many of the days following this expecting a CCTV video of me to show up in some sort of epic fails YouTube channel. But thankfully nothing appeared. My Philistinic blunder will be lost to time itself.

Who knows whether that artist managed to rake in 40 grand for a literal bin with some cheese and onion crisp crumbs at the bottom. Keep up the good clean fun boys and for the love of God keep on jacking it. Georgie. Now I'm going to show you this picture, Phil. Oh no, that is a bin. It's a bin. It is literally a bin.

It's yellow. It's got... And it's got a put litter in here sign on it. Yeah, yeah, little guy. A little stick man. Yeah. That's a bin. It is literally a bin. I thought you were just saying that the shape is exactly like a bin. It has a bin's vibe, but it is literally...

Another work of art is a bin. A bin. I mean, what's a little different about it? It's yellow. It's got a ribbed rubber bit near the end, near the bottom, which is not normal, but... But it doesn't signify anything. Yeah. So the artist can't be like, oh, you should never have done that. It's like, well, you made a bin, mate.

I'm sure there was some expectation that it would be used as a bin. Surely this is one of those stories where like the artist would find out and like chortle wisely and go, yes. Very good, very good. That was exactly what I was trying to do. Well, thanks Georgie. Thank you very much Georgie. Thanks Georgie, you know from it. Oh yeah, he does call him Georgie, doesn't he?

Good film there. Yeah, we all float down here. Yes, yes, that's good stuff. I don't like horror, but I like it, part one. Yeah, that's good. Well, good luck in everyone's elections. Yes, this is hopefully the final episode of Bud Pod before... Under the blue yoke.

Yeah. Look forward to next week our first episode of a Lib Dem government... Bud Pod? Of a Lib Dem Green coalition. Yeah. Nothing's going to get built and we're all going to love it. Remember if you live in the UK, do remember to vote tomorrow if you're listening this on Wednesday.

Yeah, vote you, mates. And you have to bring your ID. Yeah, bring you, Lopes. And you have to bring your ID. Yeah, bring your ID. Because the Tories are fucking assholes and did this and screwed themselves. Jacob Rees-Mogg himself said, we fucked this up. We thought old people would be able to handle the having IDs. No, we thought old people would get at remembering things. It's mistake number one, Jacob. Have you seen Joe Biden?

But yes, do vote. Vote however you want. For God's sake, but do it. I love voting so much. I can't wait. Yeah, get some high turnout numbers. But we'll talk to you next week and talk to patrons on Friday. See you on Friday.

Bye. Bye.