BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 285 - Jive Cat
Episode Date: September 25, 2024Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
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It's Bud Pod 285.
285, who's that great jive cat? It's Pierre. I'm looking at Pierre. Who's been away for two weeks.
Right? Who's that great jive cat? Who's that great jive cat? That's what people say when I walk into a bar, people go, who's that great Jive Cat?
Was Jive Cat really a thing?
I wonder if it's going to come back ever.
Well, that kind of shoo-ba-dee-doo talk.
Yeah, yeah.
That sort of bluesman, jazzman slang from like the 30s, the 1920s and 30s if you were a black
American and from the 50s if you were white.
Merriam-Webster has it down as the jargon of hipsters, which I think they mean the original
hipsters.
In the 50s, yeah, so carowack and all that.
But they got all their slang from black people much later.
Cultural transmission was slower back then.
These days we still...
It's almost like nothing has changed.
These days we steal the slang from black American people within a couple of weeks we're
talking about woke or...
Instantly.
Instantly just like...
Black gay men specifically.
I mean, I think there's got to be a, or there's going to be so much academia about
the influence gay black American men have had on English worldwide.
Yeah. Yeah. It's got to be huge.
It's extraordinary. Yes. Yeah. Anyway, but great to see you, Jive Cat,
as they say on RuPaul's Drag Race.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
It's giving Jive, they say.
It's giving Jive Cat.
You've been on Holly Bob's?
Yes, well, I've had a busy time because I finished The Fringe, which as we all know
is sort of 28 days in a row of essentially doing shows and then being in the pub and eating fried things. And then I decided to take a nice break from that level
of intense adrenaline and booze by immediately going on a three day stag do. And then after
that immediately going on a seven day holiday. And then after that immediately going on another
three day stag do.
Oh my gosh. So you've had to be drunk and engaging for basically two months straight.
Yes.
I've had to be drunk and socially engaging for two months.
Like some sort of like booze charm Olympics combo.
Wow.
Yes.
And they're both both stag do's were were a lot of fun, but they both featured at least
sort of eight to 12 people who I'd never met.
Right, right.
They weren't stag do's in which I was I was part of the inner circle of everyone.
I knew everyone.
There was those kind of stag do's where you sort of there's a lot of there's a lot of
very focused name remembering on that first day.
And did everyone else know each other or is it sort of everyone was a stranger?
No, everyone else knew each other a lot more.
I was more...
I was on the sort of the third ring from Saturn, from the center.
I feel like you do quite well in those situations.
I thank you?
I like to think I do well, but it is still more...
You mustn't get lost.
You mustn't get lost in that group. Yeah, I don't think you'd get lost.
No, no, no, no. My name's too weird and I'm too tall.
They'll remember that I was there. But it's still like it's like just brain work.
And then that combined with just a constantly drinking lager. So much booze and then on holiday so much wine because you don't...
Would that be weird if you found out a guy had gone away for six or seven days with his
girlfriend and they'd just been smashing lager pints the whole time instead of wine?
It would be weird, wouldn't it?
You'd go, really?
You and your girlfriend.
You'd go, whoa, your chick's cool.
We'd probably say that. Whoa, your chick sounds trick's cool. We probably say that.
Whoa, your trick sounds jive.
We probably say that.
Whoa, I didn't know you were going out with a jive cat.
The way jive is bad though, isn't it?
Or is it jive turkey?
Or is it jive turkey is bad?
Phil, we need to check this.
Have we been misquoting?
Oh, listen.
Okay, so jive means glib, deceptive, or foolish talk.
E.g. tired of listening to his jive means glib, deceptive or foolish talk.
E.g. tired of listening to his jive. Oh no, so jive means bad.
We've been misled by the movie Airplane
when that lady says, I speak jive
and speaks in kind of impenetrable slang to this.
Yes, yes.
To those two guys.
Yes, I would find that odd if someone was like, yeah, you know, me and the me and the GF went to
went on a city break to Prague and you know, just from from like noon onwards, just in the pub smashing pints.
Hmm.
You know, really?
I find that so funny.
Me and the lady just off to Oktoberfest together.
You know, she loves lager. She loves getting the pints in.
Something about that's really made me laugh. Is that the last heteronormative gendered
barrier of drinking? that because if I
found out a guy a bunch of guys have gone on a stag do and they'd
all drank Prosecco the whole time I'd be that's quite funny
bit. That's quite funny. Yeah, that would be equally jarring.
It would be jarring. You can imagine you can imagine a gal.
You can imagine a gal getting up from a table and point you can
everyone going drinks drinks you can that's fine but a gal
getting up on a table going pints at everyone going, drinks, drinks, that's fine. But a gal getting up from a table going, pints, pints, pints.
It's very different, isn't it?
But if I got told that a stag do had only
drunk Prosecco the whole time, I'd immediately go,
oh, that's funny.
I see what you've done there.
You've done a sort of situational joke, right?
Yeah, right, right.
We did a stag do, but we thought it
would be funny if it was as much like a hen do as possible.
Which is not actually a bad idea for a stag.
To try and emulate a hen do.
Yeah, so you can only drink Prosecco, you have to go to a spa.
Nice, nice.
Everyone's in...
Sashes?
Lots of sashes, yeah.
Everyone's in dresses?
Putting the stag in a dress is already a thing.
Penis draws to see how far their commitment goes.
Dick themed stuff. Very confusing for anyone who encounters
the stag who's trying to figure out what exactly is going on
here in terms of who's marrying who and how and what. So to go
right, so it's like, he's marrying a man, you go, no, no,
no, no, the penis straws are, I guess they're about his penis and how
it's being married.
We're celebrating him actually.
Yeah, we're all we're all we're all celebrating him and his
penis getting married at last.
So where are the places you have been? Where has Pierre been?
Where have I been? So it was Edinburgh split in
Croatia.
So it was Edinburgh fringe straight to split for it.
And like two days rest maybe.
Okay, split in Croatia, okay.
Split in Croatia. And we went on a, Phil, we went on a party
boat.
Right. Do you have to set
the bar and pedal the rudders?
Luckily, no, what you have to do if you're me is sit on a weird
bench for at least an hour just to try and not be sick and to
recover from what you've done the night before. And then you
just kind of dance around on a boat for like hours.
And then you do swim for a bit.
And then you go home.
The boat goes back to, I suppose, port.
But you want to feel old, Phil?
Do you want to feel old?
Sure.
I love to feel old.
The young people on the boat, we were the old fucks of the boat
in being sort of all around 30 to 35. The young people
on the boat, Phil, they were taking funny pictures of each other and kind of dancing around with their
pictures. And they were using it as a nostalgic like, haha, imagine this. They were taking pictures
with old digital cameras like we actually did when we were young. Yeah, yeah, that's become a thing now.
Yeah, and they'd have that like incredibly thick pixelated date in bright red pixels in the lower
left corner and it would never be the right year be like 09. And it would be such a jarring
imposition on the camera. Yeah, that kind of 24 that TV show is the same font.
Exactly. Yeah. And it would be the red pixelatedness of the red color of Microsoft Paint.
Yeah. What do you call that font? Alarm clock sans?
Good morning sans Sans. That's what I do. Yeah. OK.
So the split, you're on a boat and split.
You split to split.
We split to split.
You're boogied with children on a boat.
Like a seaborn Pied Piper.
Yeah.
And then you went on holiday.
Yes.
On a pints holiday with a girlfriend.
Then me and the girlfriend were smashing pints in North Italy.
We visited Verona, which is...
Ah, a very good city for lovers, famously.
Famously.
Always ends well.
Beautiful and lovely.
To lovers in Corona.
Just don't do whatever the monk says.
If Friar Lawrence tells you to fake your own death.
Don't listen to him.
He's just bored.
Friar Lawrence was just bored.
He's just a big fat monk.
He's just bored.
He doesn't get nearly enough done in the monastery.
In the abbey.
Yes, really small, Verona.
Much smaller than I would have thought. a like that, like the medieval bit
where you want to go to obviously, there's like all
sorts of European cities, there's endless suburban
accommodation stretching out for a few miles kind of thing onto
the horizon once you climb the hill in the middle, but the
actual medieval bit where you want to go to where you want to
look around, you can you can walk around it. You can you can
walk around it. It's not nowhere near impossible. Very,
very beautiful, lovely, sort of big old Colosseum Phil.
Colosseum?
Big old arena right in the middle. And as our tour guide
very proudly told us, he's a 50 year older than the one in Rome.
Oh, that's handy. She was on a walking tour.
Yeah, she was very proud to tell us that it was a 50 year older. She
was probably five feet tall, this Italian lady.
How old?
I don't know, actually pretty, pretty old. Very sprightly, but you know, some grey hair and I don't know.
I would guess at least 55.
Okay, 55.
Five feet tall.
Very proud.
Wait, 55.
Five feet tall.
Wait! Their coliseum is 50 years older than Rome. Wait.
Wait a minute. All these facts are about fives. Oh my god. That's why she kept saying, if
you just take a five steps over here, you will see. that's why she kept saying that. That's why she kept
playing music from the band Five.
Which is, and the Roman numeral for five Pierre is V and the first letter in Verona.
It's Fiverona.
Five Verona. You went to Fiverona. Fiverona. You went to Fiverona.
Here's something that surprised me about Italy that is not cultural or clever at all or interesting
in the sense of history.
A lot of COVID stuff still up, not for use, but just lots of the stickers, lots of the
warnings.
How long is it going to take those to get weathered away?
This is my pathetic annoyance.
Is COVID shit still being up?
Yeah, interesting.
It's just a bummer.
It's a bummer.
Or any sign in a, like, I don't know, a theater or a venue that says, how we're keeping you
safe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, fuck up, man. Shut up.
You're not doing anything to keep me safe.
You can't keep me safe.
You can't fight off the...
Who are you going to fight off? The Mujahideen?
Are you going to stand between me and the Mujahideen?
Am I safe from the Mujahideen. Am I safe from the
Mujahideen? Mr. Art Center? Am I safe? Really?
Yeah. How highly trained are your ushers in counterinsurgency
combat? Yeah, there were loads of those signs fill up all over
the place at the airport as well. I'll say one thing that's good about it.
Italy were the first one to get Italy were the first to get a real bad maybe they they're
just traumatized by it.
First in Europe.
Yeah, it seemed to go Iran, Italy, like Seattle like you like Western seaboard of the US and
then they kind of hit everyone and then France but then by the time France had it we kind of had it yeah yeah it did seem that way I'll say one thing that's good about Italy is that um it's
really nice to visit it's great the food's lovely the people are lovely but to stop you from missing
it too much they make you use an Italian airport to leave and that is a really good way of making sure you don't feel bad about
not living in Italy. Because you think, God, the lifestyle here and the weather
and the food and Italy. And then the airport is so fucking badly organized
and weird and rude and no one's queuing properly and the staff are very like, the
staff are there, like you've called them
in from their day off at a different better job to run an airport.
It's their day off from tasting ice cream at the ice cream factory and you've somehow
convinced them to come help you run an airport just so you can fly home.
And there's just like-
It is amazing. The airports always managed to find the most
unpleasant people in the country to be the sort of, they're
basically ambassadors. The first you ever see of a country is the
airport, the airport staff and then the road to the airport.
It's I think it's a real shame. The first things you see any new
country is the airport. They instantly go, this place sucks.
Everyone's rude in this country.
And they keep asking me for documents.
The rudest weirdos and our ugliest highways.
Yeah.
Do you want to drive past a field with a burnt out shell of an old farmhouse in it?
Near a billboard for a circus that can't be legal,
why not try driving from the airport to your hotel?
Do you want to drive past some slum houses that make you feel already guilty or on holiday
before you've even started? Why not drive from the airport to your hotel?
before you've even started. Why not drive from the airport to your hotel?
Do you do you want to drive past some sort of weird condo kind
of complex that doesn't seem to be inhabited and is made of
unpainted concrete. And next to it is some kind of attempted a
Mediterranean grill, presumably for the workers who built the condo.
But there's also a parking lot for it.
And it's next to the highway?
Well, then you'll love the airport
and the area around the airport.
Yeah.
I would not recommend Verona Airport.
I would not recommend Verona Airport.
I did a book event last night. I did a book event last night.
I did a book event at the East and Southeast Asian Literature Festival.
I closed it off talking about my book with Zeng Zeng, the very talented journalist Zeng Zeng.
And I said, talking about Malaysia versus Singapore, I said, a country can have passion or order. And
everyone was like, Oh, yes. Yeah. A choice is there to be
made. Yes. Yes. Yes. I like that. Yeah, I think that's
probably right. Can you have a passion for order? I guess that's
Germany. That is Germany, but it doesn't come across as passion
really. No, it comes across as uptightness. No, but I mean, passion. What I mean by I guess I mean, casualness, but it doesn't come across as passion really. No, it comes across as uptightness.
No, do I mean passion? What do I mean by I guess I mean casualness, but that's obvious, isn't it? You can have casualness or order. That's kind of obvious. Well, that's not what I mean.
And it's not quality of life because you know, someone like, you know,
Scandinavian countries have good quality of life, but they've also got order.
What do I mean? It's kind of like, I data data. I think you can't you can't you can't have a dance where you
move your shoulders and also have water. That's what I that's
what I mean.
You have to you have you can live in two types of country.
You can have a country where people queue up very neatly. Or
you can have a country where a man with huge forearms,
big hairy forearms and a big wristwatch just gives you a big plate of olives and bread.
And when you try and pay, he goes, hey, he goes, hey, when you say we didn't order olives,
he goes, hey, you can either benefit from that kind of attitude when you're out eating
or you can suffer from it when the queue for the the fucking
security is not even in a line. That's the yeah, you can have a
free you can have a free limoncello at the end of your
dinner. Or you can have E gates. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Make your choice.
I'll say this about Italy,. They have, from what I can tell, 17 different
types of police. They've got every flavor of police.
Yes, famous for it. Yeah, famous. And there's the Carabinieri.
There's Carabinieri.
I also just remembered the Carabinieri. Right, Carabinieri. It's like the police
have different... It's not even like this is a city police, it's a stateieri. It's like the police have different. It's not even like this is a city police is a state
police like the city has different police.
And there's part they're all part of the army kind of as
well, like in France. Yeah. So there's the Carabinieri. There's
the traffic police. There's the guard of dear financier, like
the kind of smuggling economy guard, they're like a kind of
wing of the military that answers to the
to the Treasury Minister or something. Then there's the border police, because the smug
anti smuggling finance crime guys on the border police on the same. Then this and they're
all dressed like they are in charge of a cavalry regiment 200 years ago. Even the lowest member is dressed like he's the
Colonel of England's fanciest cavalry regiment. In the official uniform on some of the recruitment
posters there's fucking yellow capes. Like it's mad. They're dressed like the police
from...
They look good, man.
Yeah, but they look like the day to day police from the decadent city in Hunger Games.
Mm.
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're just like cops in Hunger Games.
So they all got like blue hair and Marie Antoinette fucking dresses on and
buckles on their shoulders.
They look incredible.
I remember when we went to Rome as a family, the Carabinieri, especially with
like, they're all like models and they, I think all their outfits are made by Gucci.
Yeah,
literally designed by Gucci.
But you sort of feel safe. But it's funny, because you walk
through a city or you walk through the airport, and
there's like a cluster of like, seven of these guys dressed
like cavalrymen from the future. But they're just kind of
hanging out chatting or just smoking or just going, hey, little idea to each other. And you sort of think, well, there's a lot of you and that's good. And you all have guns. But at the same time, you are just, it does just seem like you guys are just kind of hanging out. And there's loads everywhere. And you just think, we're so prepared for something, but also we're so casual. It's such a weird contrast. They aren't prepared for the invention of the machine gun yet though. They still do
cavalry charges.
Yeah, yeah. Just cavalry charging right into your abandoned suitcase and unattended luggage
getting cavalry charged into the fucking wall.
And then, so then Verona and then what's your third country for yeah for you know
on your holidays and your trips where's the second stag? Jolly old England. Oh good
good. Back to Blighty. Back to Blighty. All the way back to the White Cliffs of Dover
governor. Yes Jolly old England It was near Macclesfield.
So we're talking northwest.
All right.
What kind of activities?
Because if it's in the UK, it's usually activity-filled.
That's right, baby.
We had kayaking.
We had falling off the kayak into the water, which was surprisingly warm because I think
it was in a former quarry.
Well, can you get into a kayak.
I could barely fit into these fucking kayaks.
They are kayaks in my size, but even the instructor was like, yeah,
you shouldn't be in a kayak.
He was even the instructor was like, look, looking at me with like sad eyes.
Like I was an orangutan on a branch just like watching his
dust or something you want to hear the start of a physical
activity you should you should by the way you shouldn't be in
that.
It was only halfway through it was a point where he was like,
God, yeah, that's looking at you now. You have like no back
support. Basically, the way I was in the kayak was that if I if
I sat in it the way that we were told to, it was like I was doing
a crunch forever
Okay, as in you're so hunched over
No, no, no, I had no I just have to engage your muscles just to stay up. Yeah, just to stay upright
I'm doing a crunch forever. And then I'm paddling while I'm
Fully tensing my core and my knees are being like smashed in by the sides of a little kayak
It was mad. I found a way of sitting on the kayak
that was that worked for me. But it wasn't it led to a lot of
falling in. Very poorly balanced. It was very farcical,
which I suppose adds to the fun on on a stag do.
When I tried kayaking once, I just kept going around in
circles. I couldn't I couldn't move forward. I was just
spinning. Really? Yeah. I just weep, weep, weep, lip, lip, lip. I'm I'd like to think I'm pretty good. I could't I couldn't move forward. I was just spinning. Really? Yeah.
Nip nip nip.
I'm I'd like to think I'm pretty good. I could get up to a pretty
decent bloody pace once I was not falling in. But it was like
paddling around in a contact lens.
It was like sitting in a little a little peanut shell and fucking
trying to go around a lake like that.
Also, you really find out how your body looks, Phil, when you put on a wetsuit.
I'll tell you that.
Oh, hey, I mean, this is my this is my experience on Taskmaster, basically.
Yes, although I will say a thick black fabric of a wetsuit is a lot less cock and bollocky
than right.
Yeah. is a lot less cock and bollocky than a thinly brightly colored fabric where you can really
make out what you're looking at.
Yeah, you can make out the shadows.
It's one of my favorite Scottish dishes actually, cock and bollocky.
Yeah, Robbie Burns has poem about it.
It's very rousing. It's a warming stew like dish, the cock and bollocky of the highlands.
Now you've told me to remember to ask you about Anime Lord of the Rings.
Yes. So the other day, me and my buddy actually, who's who's who's stag do it was when we were
kayaking. We went to go see Phil, they were showing Interstellar at the IMAX.
Oh, yeah. Space Time Fun. Five buses tall. Yeah, nice. It's even better than I remembered
actually. Interstellar. I already liked it. But great to watch. Here's just as a
slight digression. What do you think of this? I think the charismatic sort of laughing confidence
of McConaughey is the same flavor as Denzel Washington. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I can see that.
That kind of like, you think you've got the upper hand.
Well, let's just see about that, Chief.
That kind of slight kind of chuckling to yourself is you.
Yeah, right.
I think McConaughey doesn't do it as much as Denzel.
Yeah, he does a lot more squinting and looking away.
Oh, we'll just see about that, Chief.
He likes looking at the horizon.
He's always looking around.
Yeah. Yeah.
Checking for stuff. Yeah. I think I think he's great. I think
he's really good. It's got a good simmering quality to I think
that's one of those movies in to sell away you enjoy the second
time because you deep down you kind of remember the end and you
kind of remember the questions you had about it.
And then you go back and you and then the long stuff early on makes more sense.
In the in the middle, it's in the middle.
It's a horror movie for sure.
The music gets all weird and all sorts of creepy stuff starts happening.
Frightening stuff.
It's interesting to watch it change from a sci fi adventure to a horror movie to
back again. But anyway, so in the
trailers in the endless trailers before interstellar, they are making an anime Lord of the Rings,
they're making an animated Lord of the Rings prequel set around like Rohan. That's not even
the main Lord of the Rings. It's like a made up. I don't know if it's made up. Maybe it's in the
Silmarillion. But I don't think so. You see the war over here with the war over here. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And it's,
it's dubbed, right. So the trailer made it very clear that it's dubbed, because you'd
have that classic Japanese animation thing when it's dubbed and you like, the guy's mouth
moves like twice and there's like 17 words. Like his mouth is kind of just going like, like
that. And then it's you will pay for the death of my father. And you think, okay, I don't
think this was an English originally. And I just I couldn't AI I was just amazed that
there was a market for something like this. And B, I just thought to myself, is loving
Lord of the Rings not already enough for
massive virgins? Yeah, they have to virgin square it. Yeah. Multiply it by more virgin.
And they have to make an anime prequel of Lord of the Rings. The most, a prequel is the most nerdy type of film.
Before Lord of the Rings, there was Rohan. Yeah. Who cares?
We'll get to the bit with the ring.
Discover the birth of a legend.
Who?
I don't even remember anyone from Rohan.
The rise of Fledvire.
Fledvir. Fledvir?
Huh? Rise to what?
I don't know him now.
That's why prequels are for nerds.
Because they're for nerds who are so into it that they're like...
But how does the taxation system work?
Is it a hereditary monarchy?
Not enough information in this piece of entertainment. More information,
please.
My bit of Rohan trivia from the films is when they had all the
writers are Rohan, they weren't because they're filming New
Zealand, they didn't have enough male horse riders to be in the
movie. So they had a bunch of ladies on the horses. Just cover I remember this. They just covered their faces with beards. So if you look at
the scenes with the Riders of Rohan again, a lot of them you
can't see the face at all. It's just a helmet and then just like
a strap on beard covering the rest of their face.
And that's why if you're if you're if you're worried about
it, or if it's made you confused, it's that's why it was okay for you all to jerk off to those to the Rohirrim.
Yes.
If you're a straight guy or a gay lady or if you're into women, you were right to do it. Your instincts weren't lying to you. You looked at those writers.
Yeah, rest easy. Rest easy.
Don't worry. Fake, fake beards.
Unless they're soul searching needed.
Yeah, maybe it awoke something in you.
And of course the king of Rohan is, or the guy became the king of
Ryan Billy butcher.
I love the boy.
I've been I've been watching the final later series of the boys.
Oh, yeah.
And I when he starts talking, I have to turn the subtitles on.
I just I'm like,
what are you saying? Really? It's gotten worse. I swear it's gotten worse. Yeah, it's getting
an accent. It's the East End of somewhere. The East End of somewhere between London and Christchurch.
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I always forget that it's the same guy. I know you. Where was Gondor when the Westfall
fell you cunts. Yeah, all the same. All the same lines that
the I don't think he says that I think it's his his grouchy
father. But yes. Have you have you been watching the new
series of the boys? Yes, I'm all I'm all caught up. I believe
yeah. Oh, great. I started it going on I can't wait to see why everything is leading.
And then, you know that experience when you start a new series or show and you realize
how little you remember.
I'm like, huh?
Why is she doing that again?
Why does he, why did he just give them that mean stare?
I thought they were friends.
I thought they were enemies.
When there's been too long between series and they, you know, there's a guy who you've just memory wiped, a guy just comes in with a tray of things and just goes, I've got the solution right here. What? He's got a lab? When did he get a lab?
Yeah,
get a lab? Yeah. Did you watch the fucking boys? University edition? Gen Z boys? Oh, Gen V. Yeah. No, no, no, no. I saw the
adverts for it. Some of the people from Gen Gen V pop up as
references in. Oh, I can't be fucking with that man. I can't
be having to watch a different series to understand
this. No, that's it's then you might as well just actually watch all the Marvel movies.
Whenever I think about the Marvel movies, I get so tired. It makes me feel sick. There was a trailer
before interstellar as well that was like, there's a new Captain America, but he's got
eagle wings and Harrison Ford is the president and they're arguing. I don't know.
No, it doesn't make sense.
You need a hero to save us from these movies. That's why I think the next Marvel movie,
Iron Man destroys all the Marvel. When Iron Man comes back and he ends Marvel movies and everyone goes, And they say that a hero can save us.
Let the gold stay in here.
I wish I, I want Thanos to have won.
I want Thanos to have come in.
Thanos gets the big glove, whatever it's called.
And he snaps his fingers and then they're all dead and then he does himself. Then there's no more.
Canonically everyone is dead.
Imagine, yeah, it ends with Thanos murder suicide.
Before turning the glove on himself.
Yeah, Thanos to do himself and then to look down the camera and say
I'm also snapping my fingers for every alternate possible
universe throughout all of human history and the world and forever
and every dimension and every fucking retcon and every parody
all all of it. This is for all of it. Snap, snap, snap.
Everyone's dead. You can't be like, well, what about on Earth
289? We're actually no, I'm snapping for that one as well.
Snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap. I'm also
doing it. I'm also doing it for a DC snap, snap, snap. I'm snapping for that one as well. Snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap. I'm also doing it for a DC. Snap, snap, snap, I'm snapping them. If we ever acquire any of DC's
IP, I'm snapping. Batman's dead. Superman's dead. Snap, snap, snap.
He just keeps snapping. Because now I saw an ad for the new series about the bad, about the villain from WandaVision.
The villain from WandaVision now has her own series.
No.
No.
And it's about witches.
This is like a cultural equivalent of all the fucking Easter Island heads.
Just in the future, people will be like,
but why would you spend so many billions of dollars on just the same thing over and over again?
Like we don't know, it's just the sign of a very stagnant culture,
or maybe it was just so important, there was a religious aspect to it.
It's very hard to tell. It's very hard to tell. But they just,
you know, they put so much resources into making these big heads.
It's possible they just made it because they could. They just made it because they could.
They just liked it. They liked it so much. They spent all their money on it and then
there was no more money. Oh boy.
And then there was no more money, folks. No more money. They spent it all. They spent
it all on the Easter Island heads.
Nobody knows why they made the heads, folks.
They like the heads.
I wouldn't mind having a head.
Maybe I'd have a head.
Oh, man.
Maybe I'd have a head.
Maybe I'd have a head.
Shall we do some correspondence?
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Acast.com. So, I just got a fun Instagram comment.
First of all, I would say well done and hahaha to all the Bud Pod listeners who have been
because you remember I talked about
someone leaving a comment under one of my videos saying, who is this comedian?
That's funny. Yeah. And I replied saying it is me. And someone saying something like, like, oh, this guy had a book out,
you know, but then like, since I mentioned that on Bud Pod, a bunch of pod buds have gone on my
Instagram have been leaving comments under my reel saying stuff like, wow, who's this?
I wonder if he's got a book about autism.
You know, ha ha ha.
Again, the first few I was like, no, I can't.
Oh, ha ha ha.
Very good.
So, well done.
You got me.
Very good.
Well done.
Also, we should say that if you're listening, this
day comes out. Bud Pod Live is tonight.
Tonight. Tonight's the night.
Wednesday, Wednesday, the 25th of September. Wednesday, Bud Pod Live day.
We're almost sold out as of Monday. But you in the future have a little check if you if you have
the evening free see if there are any tickets left. Have a little taste have a little snoop.
So Margot and Rita, I guess Margot commented on the Bud Pod live post on Instagram. I can't make it
sadly but maybe you could find out if any other pod buddies are getting relentless salt of the earth northerners
Talking about how amazing Branston baked beans are in every fucking advert during your episodes
Absolutely choice to hear straight after a classic Pierre beans of the devil's work tirade
Is this trolling by Branston an a cast glitch or the simulation messing with me?
I'm very happy to hear this boo yes more bean propaganda yeah more being propaganda
after it's for balance yeah we're like the BBC if you have to be so avidly
anti-bean we have to have prob bean voices on the podcast. And if that's Branstad themselves, so be it. So be it. So be it.
So be it. Yeah. I they are so disgusting to me. They are so
revolting. I couldn't I don't think I even tried to fully
address how much I hate baked beans in my book in my section
on food horror, autistic
food horror. Because I just thought, well, that's a chapter
on its own. I don't want to alienate the British market. I'll
just stick to talking about other food horror. I'm not sure
if I can. I'm not quite remember. They're so gross to
me. But it is funny the idea that I say, beans are the devil's
turds and the devil's piss
and then immediately boop boop boop. Have you ever tried Branston baked beans? They're just as good
as Heinz, but they only cost half as much. Oh, after a long day down to pit, I love a big hot pint of
beans. Lovely foaming pint of baked beans down the pub to go with me meat raffle.
Just all the references, all the most salt of the earth.
It's ultimate in selling out Pierre. Whether you like it or not, you've sold out to Big Bean.
No.
You have.
I did so unknowingly as well.
have? No, I did so unknowingly as well.
We have when we sign up to these ads, we can fill out a list where we say we don't ads about gambling or fucking cars, whatever you want.
Mysticism.
We never clicked. We never clicked beans.
We didn't click.
We never clicked. We never clicked beans.
We should have clicked that. It was because we couldn't click bean.
We could only click legume.
And I like peanuts.
That was the problem.
I thought, well, I hate beans, but I'd love to advertise peanuts.
I'm so in favor of them.
So I just thought best leave legumes, brackets general, unticked.
I like just eating Branson beans, though, I just have the pickles in my mind
too strongly. I would, I think I'd still assume they were
Would you presume that they were pickled beans? Yeah, now would
you eat those? Yeah, pickled beans?
I'd give them a go. I'd give them a go. It sounds like a
combination. Even more so than baked beans. It sounds like something designed for farts,
just to create the most astonishing orchestra effect.
I saw something that said, farts burn calories.
Do you see this?
Yes, our friend sent it to us.
How many calories was it?
It was surprisingly high.
I don't know if it's-
Our flatulent friend.
OK, well, Google AI says, no, farting does not burn calories.
Yeah, but Google is a robot stone fart.
How would it know?
Well, another other things are saying no.
Well, I reckon it is, I guess, depending on the calculation you do,
you could say that methane has a certain amount,
probably quite a high amount of potential energy, right? Because it's methane. And you can say by
expelling this amount of methane from your body, you're expelling a significant amount of chemical
energy, or potential burning energy. If you like to fart, that energy created, that's the energy
you lost by farting it out, which is significant. But you wouldn't but you were never going to absorb that energy anyway, I guess you were never going to use it. It was like shale gas. You could you can't frack your own bum, you can't bum frack and access the energy. It's true.
But if there was a drug that allowed your body to turn fat into farts, turn that energy into gas energy, to me you could choose.
You could be thin and stinky.
Yes.
Have you seen Phil recently?
Oh man, he's ripped, but he makes you want to puke if you get anywhere near.
He's like shit, but he's so ripped.
He's ripped from ripping farts.
He's been ripping ass and now he's ripped.
He's been dropping his guts and dropping his pounds. Yeah, I guess maybe you burn calories by farting because it's like if you're, you're farting
so emphatically that you're kind of doing a crunch, you're kind of planking.
If you're really squeezing and pushing but you cannot.
Not very effective.
How do you deal with gym farts, Phil?
I was at the gym this morning and I managed to not fart.
I was also at the gym this morning.
I didn't need too badly.
I try and get a sneaky one out.
In a squat especially.
Yeah.
That's the danger zone, right?
Because you're really opening yourself up there.
It's a cartoonishly profiled position.
I'm in quite a small gym and there's only ever like two sessions going on at once with a male.
My PT is also called Philip and a lady PT called Paola.
And Paola's clients are usually ladies.
So if the ladies are in, then there's a lot more jeopardy there.
But today it was just me and Philip. It was just the lads.
So I think it would have been okay ripping ass.
But he's quite a nice guy. He's got a nice Czech boy.
And I think I'd be embarrassed in front of him as well.
He's very clean, very clean cut.
He's always taking supplements.
Every week he's trying a new plant with an impossible name, like a dodogephrea oil.
And next week after that, he'll be trying sagamtha seed.
And next week after that, he'll be trying Sagantha seed.
And then the week after that, he'll be eating lion's toe mushroom.
And then the week after that-
I was about to ask about the lion's mane mushroom.
I've seen that-
I've started trying lion's mane.
I've started trying lion's mane.
Because it's meant to cure brain fog.
And my brain fog gets pretty bad.
And I felt I think I felt better since starting it. But who
fucking knows? Who fucking knows? I probably is nothing.
It's on the supplements that you think, Oh, thank God at last
the cure for what ails me. Google it and it says there is
no medical research that confirms this effect.
Yeah, I think it's because it's a weird enough type of mushroom
that we haven't heard of that we just go, ooh, whereas if you
were like, oh, it's just powdered chestnut mushroom, you
be like, I can get those in Tesco. That's not magic.
It's also got lion in it for the last.
Okay, so if the if Paola is in the gym, the gates are shut.
That's that's good. I think that makes sense. I Yeah, you
don't want to seem stinky in two ways in front of a trainer.
You're already sweaty stinky. You don't want to be bum stinky.
That's it. Yeah, that's it. That's true. Um, well, speaking
of stinky, we've run out of time. For this minute. Yes. If you have listened to this in
time, and there are a ticket to left come tonight to Bud Pod
Live and let's create theater in London. We'll see you there.
Otherwise, we'll talk to you soon and we'll see patrons on
Friday. Talk to patrons on Friday. And if you want to be
talked to on Friday, join the Patreon. It's a good deal. It's
lovely. Okay. Bye bye. Love you. Bye.