BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 292 - The Ten Cowboy Commandments

Episode Date: November 13, 2024

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It's Bud Pod 292. 292, good guy 2 is the second term for the goodest guy in America. The goodest guy? Yeah. Oh man. Good guy 2. That's what Trump should call this term, good guy 2. I mean his level of coherence is a little above that level.

I can easily imagine him sort of throwing his arms wide and saying, good guy too. Good guy too. And everyone just cheer. You love good guy. I'm a good guy. Are you a good guy? I, uh, my favorite thing is when he's rambling on about Hannibal Lecter and just going asylums, it makes a lot of sense. I play golf just like gibberish and there's still people in the crowd going whoop and like they think they're helping it's so American. You just think god I'd love to sort of tackle that person to the ground and go what do you what did you woo just quickly just say what you have wondered do the people in the Trump rallies, watching the Trump rallies and enjoying Trump rallies, do they think he's making sense? Do they think he's speaking fluidly? Is it like...

Or have they just tuned in to his personal language? His personal dialect of English? Is it like going to an ambient music concert? Like, Orb or something? like one of those like lots of synths. It's like, well, you don't listen in the same way you'd listen at Bob Dylan concert. It's not like, oh, I love this three minute song about riding the rails. It's just like soundscape, you know, you kind of come in and out of it. It's completely socially fine to sort of wander about a bit, go to the bar. Yeah, as a band, as a band on stage. Yeah. No, but it's not just a band, it's like an ambient band. Yeah, right. It's not even songs. You don't need to be like, God, I hope I'm here for the beginning of Teenage Dirtbag, whatever the f... It's not that,

it's just like, they're crafting a four-hour experience. It's like a DJ set almost. Yeah. And they're just sort of, are they only picking up on every sort of 11th word he says? Right. So it's sort of like America and they go, it's like a live experience. It's immersive theater. Yeah. And they can't help themselves. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, a good guy too. The news is, Trump is back at last for his third term. The second was stolen. His third term.

It would be so funny for you to choose this moment to pivot this way. It would be so funny to have not done it. 2016 to 2020. Yeah, now I feel safe. No point in the intervening years. A whole time you're just thinking to yourself, if they go for him again. I did see a funny tweet that was like,

imagine the perspective of a guy who considers Trump's current term to be illegal because he actually won in 2020. Technically technically it's unconstitutional. Yeah. I do wonder though, like, is he going to start saying nothing about the stolen thing from now on? Cause about 2020, I think you probably go water under the bridge. Well, cause he didn't just edge it this time around.

No, no, he fucking annihilated them. Yeah. Yeah. It's not like he can say, Oh, they were still trying to steal it, but we just about. He won the popular vote. If he, if it was close, he could say, well, as you can see, they tried to steal it again. The forces of truth and justice just winkled a victory out this tiny victory hole that we, we made power of truth and good, but because it's so massive, he has to go, ah, yeah, I guess they weren't stealing anything ever done again. Then good thing we secretly smashed up all the stealing machines a month ago.

It doesn't make any sense. No, it doesn't. It never made sense, but now it makes double no sense. Unless the deep state, this is a false flag. It's a false flag victory for the Republicans to make everyone think they don't steal elections. And then after this one, they'll go back. False sense of security.

That's it, yeah. So it's a false flag landslide. The deep state has this cunning plan where they only steal the election for the Democrats after one or even two Republican terms in a row. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. No one's, no one suspects it. All through American history. That's what's happened. It's the perfect plan. It's definitely not that that's just how people work. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. But I think my, my, I mean, usually the hot takes are reserved for the bonus part, but my heart take is that it is, if, if Trump had to win, I think it is

overall better that it is unambiguous in this way. Cause so much energy is there's that, but I also, I think just so much energy was wasted in the first Trump term on Russian interference. That's true. People did go insane for that kind of thing. In the end, it didn't help and didn't make any difference. I think clearly what is necessary now is for the Democrats to reform into some kind of captivating force. The best kind of Russian interference or foreign interference, like the cheapest kind, is to just do this. Wiggle your fingers and go, oogily boogily, I'm affecting the result! And then whatever the result is, you can go, I told you! And you never even left your house.

But everyone assumes that you did leave your house at secret at night time. Yeah. So you've had to do nothing and spend no money, but you've nevertheless completely disrupted your enemies entire domestic discourse. Yeah. It's really clever. It is. It is smart.

And it's like walking past a restaurant and opening the door and just going, I poisoned all the food and just walking home. Yeah. But that's been Putin's very effective. Raise on mode of operation for the last. Motor Saperandi. Motor Saperandi for the past few years is just to make everyone doubt what is real. Not necessarily to convince people of falsehoods, but to make everyone doubt that anything is

real. That's as effective. People filled with doubt are paralyzed. So it's very useful. So in that sense, this kind of this election result is clear election result, I think actually might be better for the mental health. It makes things clearer, at least, at least it's more clarity to it. It's less close.

It's less torturous. I've seen a lot of bad mental health takes online. So I don't know if it's better, but it's certainly better for clarity. Yes, I think that's, I think that's the case. I feel less, well, I mean, I'm always going to feel less fucked up about it because it's the second time in my life that it's happened. It's my second go at this. It's mad that I was kind of bored that Trump one.

I was like, boring. Yeah. It's so different from the first time. I've realized one of the reasons why I'm less exorcised about this is that I've reframed how I see America in my mind. OK. I no longer see America as, but that's like here. Exactly.

So I don't, you know, if you think that, then it's more alarming. But if you don't, then it's no more alarming than the election results of Brazil or Indonesia. We as Brits have to start thinking of America as a foreign country. We really do because it always shares a language. With the very least particular states. Right, yes. I think it's a continent. It's not a country. Yes, it's a continent.

I think of Alabama. 50 different countries. I think of Alabama the same way I think of like El Salvador, fucking or Algeria or yeah right it's not like Europe. No. It's Alabama. Same with Texas. You just go oh yeah it's interesting it's it's sort of socially so different it's economically similar yeah but it's socially it's like well that's just how things work there. They go everyone's been given seven revolvers, and you have to have the Bible tattooed on your balls. Just go, yeah, well, what country is this again?

Yeah. That happened in, you know. People often behave here like New York has voted to get rid of abortion rights. You know, that's how people here react. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. To news from America. I've just, it's depressing, but I have just reclassified nearly half of the American states as being like

somewhere in South America or Africa. I think that's the healthiest way to go about it. Because otherwise, I mean, you get the kind of level of brain worms where it's like British comedians in British comedy clubs talking about US domestic gun policy. And you can see people in the crowd going, why are you talking to us about this? Yeah. It's not our fault. I know it is so weird. It's because there's nothing exciting here to talk about. It isn't. Everything here is too kind of nuanced and all the details and it's... I wish people would be just as outraged performatively on stage here about the bat tunnel, Phil.

Oh yes, you tweeted me about the bat tunnel. The 100 million pound bat tunnel. 100 million pounds was spent on a tunnel. For HS2. So that HS2 could go through a bat dense area in England. And not hurt the bats. And not hurt the bats. There's no proof that trains hurt the bats, by the way.

There's no studies that said high-speed trains have any effect on bats, particularly. It does feel like they would. Yeah. But what if it inspired the bats? What if it's a good effect? Yes, what if we could have had a bat renaissance when you started writing poetry and doing paintings about trains? Yeah, all the bats get faster because they want to catch up with the train.

Who knows? 100 million quid. Unbelievable. And then it was going to be 40 million or something. And then the people who asked for the bat tunnel objected again and made the bat tunnel even more expensive. They weren't even happy with the bat tunnel. It was just a way to stop it from happening.

Did they accept the bat tunnel in the end? I think there's some sort of route by which they just have to accept it because they've been given what they wanted so they can't say they haven't. 100 million though. Yeah. Bat tunnel. What is a bat tunnel? It's literally, it's just like a tunnel archway over the train so that the bats don't get hit by it or something. Oh, I see. It's horse shit. Yeah. Well, the bats know to go into the bat tunnel. No, no, the tunnel's keeping the train away from the bats. It's a train tunnel. I thought it was like...

It's not like a hedgehog tunnel. I thought it was like an artificial bat cave for them to hide in. No, no, no, no, no. When the train comes. It's a long, expensive tunnel for the train to go in. So the bats don't enter where the train's going. Yeah, so the bats don't get smacked into jam by the fucking train. Right.

So as opposed to a normal tunnel where they have to get through a hill, they're just building... They're adding a tunnel. Adding a tunnel. Let's make this as expensive as if there was a fucking 10-mile hill here, for the sake of some fucking bats. But the people who object to it, they don't really care about the bats. What they want is for the train to not happen. Yeah, right. They're unhappy that it's happening, As proven by the fact that they're objected to their own initial solution.

And who are these people? The fucking bat council of England or whatever. The bat, yeah, the bat club. Yeah. The local bat conservation freaks. The bat people. Very bad people. They come over here. Upside down, they suck your blood. They can't even see to upside down they suck your blood they

can't even go location they use echo location they love echo we love echo we love echo but we don't locate with echo we love we don't we locate with eyes with ear with nose we don't we don't look in with echo. If it was up to the bat people, you get in your car and you say, I want to go to the store and they say, okay, well that's how, how do you echo? How does the echo sound? And you say, I don't know. And they say, well, you can go.

He always frames things as like a kind of one-on-one. The trains are killing the bat. They say the train kills bat. Yeah. The lack of plurals. The train kills bat. They say the train kills bat. Yeah, the lack of plural kills bat. They say the train kills bat. This could be the first inauguration speech. January the fourth could be the first inauguration speech where the president mentions Hannibal Lector. Oh, yeah. Talks for four minutes about the fictional character.

Hannibal Lecter. Imagine if he turned up dressed like Hannibal Lecter at the end of the science of the land with a little white hat and disappears into the audience. At the end of the speech it disappears into the crowd. He references that bit in some of his rambling. He said he's having a friend for dinner. Yeah, then he pointed to him, he points to someone in the front row of the rally and goes, I like, he'd like to have you for dinner. And the person goes, I've not seen that. Yeah. I like to have a friend for dinner, a friend for, he'd have you for dinner. And he points to someone in the crowd.

Yeah. Everyone goes, hehehe. As opposed to what? What do you mean? Yes. So I would much rather that we had the same level of angst about bat tunnel than about a foreign country's election result. Yeah, I know. And obviously when America sneezes, the rest of the world catches a cold.

Okay? We know this. But the people here who freak out about it are never freaking out about tariff impositions. They're never freaking out about import duty on this or that or trade deals, because those are boring. Even the Ukraine war, which will have a lot more effect on our lives. Huge fucking effects on Europe. Yeah.

That's going to be enormous. And I've seen almost no one talking about it. It's just all emotional points about domestic US stuff, which is fine. You can sympathize with who you want, but don't dress it up like you're, like all good conscious people should be thinking about this this morning. I just don't think it's true. No, no. And I mean, it is-

Unless like, look, we'll look very silly if in six months there's a massive global war and it's a fucking handmaid's tale. But the thing is, is that everyone said that would happen the last time. Yeah, exactly. And it was bad. It was bad. But we're all still here. And I mean, last time on the foreign policy stage, I think his main, as far as I can remember, I mean, trade war with China is obsessed with it. The greatest disaster of greatest foreign policy disaster last Trump administration was the decision

to withdraw from Afghanistan, which wasn't carried out by the Biden administration, right? But Trump said, started it off and also told the Taliban when it would happen, which is insane. And basically just said, you can have it. We don't want it anymore. But aside from that, the Abraham Accords were pretty successful, weren't they? They were going to be. Yeah. So, I mean, you kind of, you know.

Mainly what he wants to do is to eat cheeseburgers and drink Diet Coke and watch Fox News. Yeah. I don't think he wants to actually do anything. No, exactly. Domestically, he'll just do whatever. I'm a little bit worried that he'll have Robert Kennedy's brain worm as like,

Secretary of the Interior. Yeah, we are sad that Robert Kennedy's brain worm didn't become. Who was it who I sent this to the group? Someone clarified the type of worm I was thinking of with a little green hat. Who was it? It was Ryan on Instagram. Ryan Gray. I was thinking of Richard Scarry or Scarry's lowly worm.

I was imagining this one. Yeah, and then look, Applecar. Yeah, the little the worm with the green hat and the Apple car. If you replace the Apple car with the wet pink mind of Robert F Kennedy jr. That's what I was imagining with the little windscreen. Yeah. The windscreen is in his forehead. And he's just like honking his nose. Thatop, boop, boop. And driving him. That's quite cute. Yeah, he's driving him. It's like ratatouille.

It's wormatouille. That's very sweet. That's very sweet. Is there a dish that has the word worm in? Like you do a ratatouille, you know, because it has the word rat in, but it is called ratatouille. Oh, worm. No, I don't know. Worcestershire, Worcestershire.

Worcestershire steak. Worcestershire, yeah. Can we look up if there's any food with worm? No, I don't know. Worcestershire, Worcestershire... Worcestershire steak? Worcestershire, yeah. Can we look up if there's any food with worms? We love food with worms. Is there a food with worms? That's what they want to know. Fried silkworm? No, that's cheating if it's just this about worms.

You can't... Just eating worms. You can eat worms. You can eat worms. They want you to eat worms. Train is killing bat. They're eating the worms. You can eat worms. They want you to eat worms. Train is killing bat. They're eating the worms. Eating the people, the worms of the people that live there. The bats of the people that... He talks in like music. They're eating. Yeah, it's funny because his speeches like when

they're put to music, satirically afterwards, they really scan. They really work. There's something, maybe in 10 years someone will reveal that if you talk the way he talks, it does have some kind of quite dangerous hypnotic effect. Ah, it's like it matches the... Like REM sleep waves, something that makes you just go... Yeah, the meter matches the golden ratio or something like that, right? If you release pulses into the human mind at the same rate as his words, the people

just go, and they just, their eyes roll back into the head and they start going, I'm like laughing and... Yeah, the woo's actually, they're subconscious of trying to escape, like trying to get out of there. Like get out? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's the sound of their mind struggling for freedom against this hypnotic talking.

Now, this kind of discussion is not particularly helpful, but it's also fun. If you had to blame one person or one event or one occasion during the campaign or before the campaign for Trump's victory? What would you pick? Oh, whose fault is it? Yeah. In other words, whose fault is it?

I've seen a lot of different faults online. Yeah. As with everything, there are many faults. What is it? Success has many fathers, but failure is an orphan. Yes. Maybe failure has actually got a lot of moms and dads. Maybe failure has lots of moms, lots of dads, lots of moms.

Imagine him saying a lot of moms. Lot of moms. Lot of moms. His concession speech is very funny because it's just him talking about how well he's done. Yeah. He says a couple of things about heal the country, which is pretty standard. And I thought, oh, that's surprisingly coherent and standard. And then he's just going on about how brilliant he is.

Do you remember the last one, the first time he won, he spoke about American carnage and the age of American carnage. It's fantastic. The age of American carnage. It's a brilliant phrase. The age of American carnage is a brilliant title. This time he's just going, it's a brilliant phrase. The age of American carnage. This time he's just going, we won the popular vote. Wow. Wow. Just about his own achievement going wow, like wiggling his hands. Something so disgusting about him when he's pleased with

himself. Wow. Yuck. Wow. Whose fault is it? I guess I guess it's Joe Biden's fault. Because he said he wouldn't do it again and he did. Yeah, that's exactly my thinking too. He said in 2020, I'm an interim president. Second to him, if we decided he was so senile that maybe he's not responsible, because you know people get very stubborn when they get old and a bit dementia-y. old and a bit dementia-y. If we absolve him, maybe because of how old he was, then it's the people who didn't run an open primary. Yes.

I think if it was, I don't know. Well, it's kind of their fault for keeping leaving it so late that there wasn't time to run an open primary. Yeah, that too. And sort of holding him up as a puppet for months and pretending to everyone that he was fine. To what end? I don't know. What baffles me about that decision is like... They just needed him to be like fine in a hidden way.

But did they really think he could win an election in that state, just if they kept another public eye enough? Yeah, I think that was it. Crackers. And I think they like, I think the decline was steeper than they expected. I think they didn't expect him to have, to have skin, the color of paper and be going like whispering, the whispering skeleton. Yeah.

I think they thought it would just be like, Hey Jack, corn pops here and all that. And that one, so they can't lose faith in it. It fucking got them their jobs. Yeah. But corn pop became lose faith in it. It fucking got them their jobs. Yeah. But Corn Pop became a whispering skeleton. So they went, oh shit. And then they had that thing where they're like, it's still good. It's still good.

For like three months. Yeah, he's fine. He's okay. He's resting. We sent him to a cabin to rest. We told him to whisper. We said, it's nice. This is the new talking, whispering.

And then it all fell to bits. I wanted him to be fine. whisper. We said it's nice. It's the new talking was great. And then all felt abits. I wanted him to be fine. I thought their strategy was correct. But then when I saw him whispering like that, I was like, okay, all right. And when he had to be like, led off stage, and this is like moving like a mannequin and stuff just. Yeah. And then they didn't have time to Trump's gonna become that old during office. Now, isn't he? Well, yeah.

Trump's only four years younger than this. Yeah. Everyone thinks he's a spring chicken compared to Joe Biden. Yeah. Because he dances like a wibbly wobbly statue. He looks like a big egg with inflatable arms. He does the hand thing of like how you're meant to break someone's nose and push into their brain. Yeah. The palm thing. Palm thing, yeah. The palm thing, the bent knuckles. That's what he's preparing for when he dances to Macho Man. He's got that huge egg body that he has to lean forward.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. His shoulders, his arms are hanging in front of him. Glenn Moore pointed out, the comedian Glenn Moore and one time Phil Wang, pointed out that he looks like when Austin Powers is dressed in that big silver coat, trying to sneak around the base and... don't remember that it's him on someone else's shoulders and he's leaning forward. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Guys, I recommend, we'll put it on the Instagram, it's Austin Powers leaning forward. It's genuinely, it looks exactly like the same silhouette. He's on mini me shoulders, that's why he's all leaning over. Austin Powers. We love Austin Powers. Yeah, baby, he says. Yeah, baby. We love baby.

baby. We love baby. Oh yeah. Yeah. Spot on. Yeah. It's exactly like with the butt sticking out the bank, the bus sticking out the back and like his spine, Trump's spine. When you look at him in profile on an election is 45 degrees. Like it looks like he's trying to cover or hide or protect a big egg. Like a hawk. Big egg. Big egg. Big egg. I think Amal Harris did as well as she could. She could have. Yeah. I think she's a weird lady. She's weird, but she, but she turned it around. I mean, she presented herself pretty charismatically after she just did four years of basic anonymity. She did so much worse though. Yeah, she did real bad.

What's weird to me is that she must have thought in her head, there's a good chance this will happen. Surely you'd spend the four years of being VP of, you know, trying to get your face out there. You've just never heard from her. Yeah. Yeah. I said this before, like two or three years ago.

It's like, I'd have to remember who she was. Dick Cheney turned VP into basically being president. But I mean, she was not very successful in the public eye during that time. I think they made the right decision to kind of pull her away. And I think that in itself is people's memories are short. I don't think these days people's and electorate's memories are very short. I don't think these days people's and electorate's memories are very short. I don't actually think it benefits a candidate to be long known in the public mind.

But I just mean name recognition. You see that big spike of people Googling did Joe Biden drop out. Oh, right. When? During the election. Like when people are meant to vote. Yeah. Wow. That's the other thing that people like us are blind to

is a lot of people don't pay attention. But that's what I mean is that she could have done four years of presidential campaigning. All she needed to do, because she was vice president, nothing she had to do was anything to do with policy. She's supposed to not be serious. That's like a fucking open goal. She could have done four years of chocolate for kids

and fucking flag-licking classes and war veteran forehead kissing or whatever she wanted. And everyone could have absolutely been strumming themselves to death over how much they love her and how brilliant and patriotic she is. She had a four-year run-up and she was just doing, I don't know what, gardening. Well, she had quite a disastrous interview, didn't she, about the border. She was like border czar or something about the Mexican border and she did quite badly over that and the democratic party went whoop people are like let's hide her away and that's what that in itself is down and shouldn't have

let her do the be the candidate then. Yeah, exactly. But she's fucking up the she's fucking up the nothing job with no stakes. Let's keep her safe for the nuclear job with the highest possible stakes against orange Hitler. But then she did, she didn't run a pretty good campaign and like on, and the, her rallies were like better attended a lot of the time, but that doesn't matter. But her results, did she run, did she run a good campaign if her results are this bad? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, results are really bad. It looked good at the time, but I think this is a modern phenomenon. It's now become impossible to tell how well a political campaign is going. There was a time where you could tell where it was indicative of the result how a political campaign was doing. And now that just isn't the case anymore. I still need to see how much more money did she have? She had like $600 million more than the Trump campaign Well, someone someone pointed out like oh, it's a shame Isn't it that the people who spend the most just win and it was like Kamala spending versus Trump spending in the states

Yeah that Trump won and it was like Not true. No, it came out of spending like 10 to 1. Yeah, so you just go In this on this I mean, I kind of wish the money had meant a victory. Oh well, fuck. But is that a silver lining now? Will these budgets become less bloated? It's not because the Democrats are a bunch of fucking nerds who don't know how to make people like them.

Unlikable nerds. Maybe if you just get an asshole who does a fat egg man who dances to Camp Ateez music and compares immigrants, their illegal immigrants to Hannibal Lecter and everyone goes, whoo! And then they vote for him and like they're millions. But in between all the craziness, he also was saying material things like you are richer under me, I will make things cheaper and I will

handle immigration. And I will force China to take its own terms. Kamala Harris's campaign was very vibe heavy and she made very little effort to distance herself from Joe Biden who was very unpopular by that point. And it's kind of beggars belief why she would do that, what she thought she had gained by not throwing her under the bus on her perhaps. And which is another frailty of- But she was a VP so she can't say,

she was, I disagreed with all this so much that I kept quiet and let it all happen and helped it happen. You can't. She was in the administration. It would have just opened her up to even more attacks. Yeah. There's no way. But like you say, the VP can't really do anything

about all that anyway. I guess people don't understand that. Yeah, but like it'll be the same thing that's sunk Hillary. Hillary Clinton did a big thing about how the last 20 years has been so bad for American people in that first debate and Donald Trump went, why aren't you doing anything about it? You've been at the heart of power for 40 years. Yeah, that's a good point.

And it just destroyed her. I think also the underlying phenomenon of modern democracy is that incumbent parties lose... That was interesting in the FT. I think also the underlying phenomenon of modern democracy is that incumbent parties lose. That was interesting in the FT. They showed, there's all these graphs that this year or the last 10 years or something of elections is the first time where every single incumbent party lost votes in the whole world. Wow, yeah. There's just nowhere where being in power was helpful. Yeah. So that's what's happening now, Wow. Yeah. This is nowhere where being in power was helpful. Yeah. So that's what's happening now.

Forever. Yeah. Yeah. And cause that would, that's now like two single term presidencies on the trot, which is quite raw. That's happened before. Joe Biden presidency, the first Trump presidency, then the Joe Biden's presidency, two single term presidencies. Yeah. And now again, I suppose. Yeah. Yeah. Then now again, it'll be unless, unless, and this is, this is my current nightmare. Trump changes the term limit. The current can't. There's no way.

But what, what, what actually does needs to happen for him to remove term limits? That Supreme Court would have to... No, it would be a constitutional amendment. They would need would have to know this would be a constitutional amendment. They would need two thirds of senators or something. And like 70% of all of the governors of the states to agree as well. Like it's really, it's, it's really fucking difficult to amend the constitution. It's not just passing a constitutional convention level vote or it's mad, not a convention because that's the whole constitution, but no, no, no,'s really difficult. Okay. Well, there's the self-aligning. At least Trump is finally over after this. If not also the whole world is finally over. If not the whole world.

Yes. After this. Yeah. But I can't, I feel pretty sanguine about it. And I don't know if that's because we don't live in America. This is it. I know it will affect us in such indirect ways. But I thought I think that my thing my sanguinity also speaks to the end of the globalized world and that and and you know I'm even I'm starting to feel quite nativist. I'm like well Britain's Britain Europe's Europe America doesn't matter as much as it used to to my life and it shouldn't. Yeah, we need to look closer to home because there is no big international force that we can rely on. But the encompass thing is the powerful thing.

And I think it's because my theory is that as long as people feel like life is getting worse, they'll always vote for the other people because they think, well, I'm not happy now. Maybe the other person will. But also people just blame something like inflation on whoever's in charge. Yeah, that's right. So until we start teaching sixth form level economics, which even I don't have, to everyone, it's just gonna be like witchcraft stuff.

Why did you kill the king while the crop harvest failed? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's all it is, right? I didn't like how my crops came out, so I've killed the chief. Hopefully the next chief will bring better rains. Yeah, it's that, is it Reagan?

Are you better off now than you were four years ago? And the answer is no. Morning in America. Then they'll vote for the other. Well, it's the economy, stupid Clinton. Yeah. You just have to somehow, I don't know, but that's that I think that's more in the States. I think in the UK there's such a different attitude

to money and like, there's just not the same national obsession with just what filling your gas tank has. The UK is a weird one is like, we feel like we don't have any money. We want to feel richer, but the new government better not spend any money on us. It's very weird. So the Tory party can campaign on saying, Labour's gonna spend, spend, spend on you. And everyone goes, no. For the love of God, someone stop these people. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to give you new trains. No. No. Yeah. And then they complained about the 100 million bat tunnel. Yeah.

But you did that, countryside people. Yes, that's true. I think you would win a huge landslide in the UK if you just hit that perfect sweet spot. The stereotype is, fund the NHS, hang the pedos. That's what it is. Money for nurses, hanging the pedos. If you did that, you're fucking in charge for 100 years. There are no term limits here. You could go absolutely

ape. Hang the pitas, fund the NHS, make everyone pick up all the litter on Remembrance Day. A Paddington movie every year. There's a new one. Paddington in Peru. Paddington joins the Shining Path Maoist guerrilla movement. That's who's kidnapped on Lucy is the Shining Path. They're back. That's a particular reference for for Felipe as a South as a South American man. On Lucy's been kidnapped by the Shining Path Maoist Revolutionary Movement and they got to execute her unless the president of Peru releases the following dissidents. Paddington's going to coat himself in marmalade and bust into their jungle base like Rambo

and slit the throats of all of those, all those Maoists. It's going to be great. I can't wait for the gritty Pad of all of those Maoists. It's gonna be great. I can't wait for the Gritty Paddington reboot. Oh yeah. Oh my god. I should say Koji to all the people who were at the gig last night. In Brighton, there was a lot of Kojis from the audience, which was very nice. Oh wow, that's awesome.

Oh yes, we have a message from a Brightonian. Okay, well we should do some quick correspondence. We love Padbud! From Lena, thank you so much for an amazing time. It was our Koji you heard on the way to the station. Oh yes, I was absolutely pumping my fat little legs to get to the station. And I made my train by about two minutes. Nice one. And I got Koji'd by some ladies. A drive by coji. Yeah I suppose I

walked by them and they sort of cojied my sweaty fleeing back. That's a much harder drive by to shoot the person in the car. Much harder. The reverse drive by. They said it couldn't be done. Yes, yes. Also, thank you. Apologies if you were at the Bratton show with your book and I couldn't sign it for you. I went outside because I said, Oh, if you have a book, I'll sign it for you. And when I went outside, there was some other thing that was going to happen in the comedian. So there was a big queue of like what looked like sort of sexy young men and women in their sort of early 20s, like students. Okay. And I thought, I don't think they've just lived my gig.

Oh, as much as I'd like to think. What could they be attending the comedian? I don't know, because it's like a cinema upstairs as well. Like it's a big complex, remember? Oh. This is some sort of disco for the young. But I left and I saw these sexy young people and I thought, you're not from my show. Much as I wish that's who I was as an act. It's

not. They're busy being sexy and young. They're not coming to watch. We love sexy. We love young. We love young. And I didn't see anyone holding a book and looking around. Sort of inquiringly. So I just I just sprant. sort of inquiringly. So I just I just sprant. Sprant all the way. Sprant to the station. 100 meters sprint. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So this is a message from Jordan.

Jordan, who's this for then? That's nice. Thank you. That's nice. Thanks. Hello. Oh, hello. Yeah. Just wanted to say that Pierre's semi-regular impressions of people being deadly serious about odd things is one of my favorite niche genres of comedy. Deadly serious about odd things. Most recently it was him earnestly asking to hear the rest of the PS toilet tat. Uh-huh. But the greatest has to be Gollum Stronger. Oh, yes. Yeah. So it's that thing

where it's like, no, but it said it said PS. I was just wondering if you had the rest of the letter on the toilet seats. Yeah. Yeah. If I could see those because I just, I can't, I don't feel I can respond to the toilet unless. And Gollum Stronger was when some of the two people on the tube are having a conversation. I was reading a paper or something. And they're debating, is it whether Aragorn is stronger than Legolas? Or are two characters too? It can be Batman.

Yeah. And behind you, wherever you see him. Gollum Stronger. Golem Stronger. What? And I reload the newspaper. Golem Stronger. Golem Stronger. In the core. It's all the crawling. It's all the crawling around. Yeah. I'll just go back to my paper.

Golem Stronger. Yeah. Other niche comedy that makes me laugh every time is people taking the mick out of Banksy. Yes. The poster of Jaws coming out of the sea and Tony Blair sitting on a surfboard above him and the surfboard is an iPhone and Jaws looks like a nuclear weapon. And parodies of Adam Curtis. Yes.

But it wasn't about money. It was about power. Adam Curtis just getting footage of getting footage of Taliban fighters doing traditional dances and putting Apex twin over the top. It's good stuff. Every time. It works on me. It works on me every time. Footage of an old, old Soviet babushka queuing up for bread and smoking with Barbie girl blasting as he points out that people would predict what computers would do He's spoken about that. He just he just apparently just finds it

like boring when something cuts to something in the Middle East and he Just goes why do that? I just put some techno You do pay more attention like oh shit Oh, it works. I think I feel bad though, because I think people made fun of his voice enough that his latest Adam Curtis weird video essay didn't have his voice on. Oh, yeah. You got to have that voice.

Yeah, I think so. So it's a shame. Yeah. That's a good whisper. That's definitely what Joe Biden was going for. That's a captivating whisper. Yes. Yeah. But it's just that sort of posh English man.

Yeah. It's like posh. He's like, sounds like posh Josh Whitacombe. Yes. He's posh Whitacombe. Posh Whitacombe. Yeah. That's great. Adam Curtis is just posh Whitacombe. Oh, and we had a message from your friend and mine. And I mean that literally, John Payne. Ah, good old John.

Which I meant to reply to and I meant to feature. He says I'm in O'Hrid in North Macedonia. He's always traveling. He's always in these eccentric locations. And we went to a paper making museum, lots of monasteries around here, and they did a demo of traditional papermaking. They also have one of the only two working replicas in Europe of the Gutenberg Press. I assumed there'd be more Gutenberg Presses still around. I did as well, but I suppose not working. Yeah. He's attached a picture of the press. Incredible. So it's basically like you build a big stamp

of your newspaper. Yes. And then you press it, you dunk it in ink and you press it as a boy, boy. Yeah, like that. And they used it to print tat. So he sent us a photo of some tat. Not back in the day at this museum.

No, back in the day, they would have used it to print from modern point of view, pretty obscure religious pamphlets. But at the time, very important debates about the Godhead. And he's printed, he's showing you some tatliff printed at this museum with it. Friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. Friends are hard to find, harder to leave, I've forgotten everyone. Gutenberg.

If Gutenberg really did say that, which I started to doubt he did. They've capitalized some pretty random bits. So I'm going to say loudly what's in the big capitals. Yep. Friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. No consistency at all. Not even the nouns.

Very strange. I don't like that one bit. Texan tat. This is from Bill. Bill, you will tell us about some Texan tat. So it says, hello piss and shit. I do like that one. That's funny.

It makes you sit up and listen. Oh, yes. Bill's sending us messages from Texas too. So this is prime Trump country. Piss and shit. Howdy piss. Howdy shit. How y'all doing? This here is my friends piss and shit.

That's a that's a it's a cowboy who doesn't stop fights, but he'll destroy your bathroom. I say, you better take that back or I'm going to introduce you to two friends of mine. And he takes his fist and goes piss and shit. OK. Okay. Yeah. Wouldn't mean nothing bad, mister.

I'm going to use your bathroom. No, please. Okay. So it's a lot of tat. Um, so some of this, one of the things he sent is a big hanging scroll and it's the cowboy 10 commandments. Oh, yes. I will say this. hanging scroll and it's the cowboy 10 commandments. Oh yes. I will say this, it is just the 10 commandments.

But rephrased in the cowboy voice. Oh, so they've not changed any of the content? No, it's not like always keep your six shooter loaded. It's not like cowboy specific. Thou shalt not cover thy neighbor's grill. It's close. their neighbors grill. It's close.

Yes. Um, keep your hat on your hat on. Oh, no horse. Now shall honor the boots and stats. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. No whistling in church stuff like that. So it is just rephrased. So depending on how good your knowledge of the 10 commandments is, you would just, I mean, you'd guess the sentiment of every single one correctly, but

it's just made it a bit more cowboy. So the first commandment in Cowboy Talk is, just one guard. Wow. Just one. Oh, okay. So they've rephrased the actual, the sentiment of all the comments. Yeah. So they don't say honor thy father and thy mother. Right.

It's honor your ma and pa. Yeah. You go, all right, mate. If I was a real cowboy, I'd be like, yeah, don't fucking talk to me like this. I can read the real ones. I don't need them to be phrased like this. Yeah. You patronize a lot as a cowboy. That's the worst part about being a cowboy. Yeah.

Second worst part is the constant arduous physical labor. But for me, the top is how often the patronization by city slickers. For me, the top is how often the patronization by city slickers. Just one guard honor your mom and pal. And three, would you remember what the third is? Is that kill? No kills quite far down. Three is surely a cow. The cowboy code is pretty pro kill.

Well, certainly it should be more open to it. Yeah. What is number three? false idols No No lying no lying phrasing that to the cowboys No, Febin no, no Febin and when you're right with the whole apostrophe and instead of a G No fibbing. I mean, you're right with the whole apostrophe N instead of a G.

No taking liberties with the truth. That's yeah. No telling tales or gossiping. Okay. Yeah. Nice one. Like if you're a cowboy, you're like, if they written gossiping, you go, what's that? Sorry.

Gossiping. Oh, right. Yeah. Get yourself to the Sunday meeting. Oh, that's number four. What do you mean church? Yep. I say church then the cowboys not say the word church. Number five, they haven't had much to play with here. But nothing before God.

Yeah, that's just the real one. Uh, number six. Uh, this is how they've interpreted coveting. Uh, don't want nobody's nothing. Don't want nobody's nothing. That would actually be a better interpretation in my view. I'm not a biblical scholar, but I think that's better. Don't want nobody's nothing. It's better. Don't be fooling around with another feller's gal. And that's what it says. Yeah. Which is not what the meaning of that isn't at all. No. Yeah. Is that what they think ass is in original Tenka moments? Yeah. Your neighbor's ass. I just couldn't stop staring at my neighbor's ass. Number seven. No killing. Yeah. Okay. Not killing. Only a city slicker would use the letter G.

G's a French letter. Number eight, watch your mouth. What's that potentially? I'm not sure what that's replacing. Can we look at the eighth commandment? That sounds similar to the line in the- Watch your mouth. Must be taking the Lord's name in vain.

Surely. Which they've taken to mean not swearing. No cussing. What does it say, Philippe? must be taking the Lord's name in vain. Not swear, which they've taken to mean not swear. No cousin. What does it say, Philippe? They shall not steal. Steal? Number eight. Watch your mouth.

The eighth commandment. Yeah, what did he say? Watch your mouth. Someone might steal. Well, maybe they mean look after your mouth. Someone might steal it. Are you sure? The eighth commandment is,

he shall not steal. Well, the ninth one is don't take what ain't yours. Ah. look after your mouth, someone might steal it. Well, the ninth one is don't take what ain't yours. So this thing, that's number nine. So that's the, you're telling me that the cowboys are misleading me. Number 10, don't be hankering for your buddy's stuff. So now that's, that's coveting. Okay, so number six, don't be fooling around with another fellow's gal. That's Dasha, I'll commit adultery. They've got the orders wrong. This is very disrespectful. If I was an actual really Christian cowboy, I'd be like, well, they fucked this up. These novelty pricks.

If I was a cowboy priest, I'd be furious. So here's some of the signs that all in Comic Sans on bits of hanging wood Unless you are and I can't even read this Unless you are George straight or God remove your boots George straight Can we look up with George straight? So if you're George straight, you can track animal feces all the way through my house I'd be delighted or if you are somehow God he must be a country musician Yeah, weird that they like and the rest of this is just classic Or if you are somehow God. He must be a country musician. Ah, yeah. Weird. That they like. And the rest of this is just classic, you know, a spoiled rotten cat lives here.

Girlfriends or therapists you can drink with. Yuck. Yikes. Also, don't tell me I can't drink with my therapist. I'll bring a full bottle of Smirnoff. I'll tell you a secret for every shot you do, therapist. If I'm missing, I'm probably fishing. No, that's sweet. I like that.

That's fun. That's a sweet one. I'd say if I'm missing, call the police. How long has your husband been gone? He's been fishing for about three years now. You haven't told anyone? Well he doesn't like to be bothered fishing. The trouble is the sign. It makes things very clear. He's been fishing for seven years. It must be the hell of a fish. Gosh. Texas tat. Well there'll be a lot more. I imagine that's the most palatable tat. Imagine that's a pretty fucking Aggie tat. Yeah. We've seen some of those bumper stickers you guys

have sent us. Yeah. There's some pretty vicious bumper stickers out there. Oh gosh. And they're about to get, they're about to get crazy. Can you imagine? Yeah. American carnage is bad. Yes. Thank you so much for sending in your carnage. This is what we said last last episode when Bud Pod came out in favor of the worm for president. Yep. And we did our part. Also if you listen if you're a patron and you listen to bonus pod, you would have been

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