BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 302 - Anti-Evolution Goofy

Episode Date: January 29, 2025

Welcome back! Enjoy and KOJI xPatreons your PRE-SALE and DISCOUNTED tickets to BUDPOD LIVE are up now on your Patreon feed!Catch Pierre's show 'Must We?' at the Soho Theatre in March 2025! Tickets available now hereWatch Phil's brand new Netflix special 'Wang In There Baby' now!We have brand new BudPod MERCH!!Patreons get 20% discount on all merch!https://visualanticsapparel.com/collections/budpod-podcastDon’t forget to like, subscribe and follow us on socials @budpodofficialKoji xHosted by Phil Wang & Pierre NovellieProduced by Felipe FrancoEdited by Felipe Franco Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Before the episode gets going, I am filming a comedy special of my show, Why Are You Laughing? That many of you would have seen on tour. I'm filming a comedy special of my show, Why Are You Laughing? That many of you would have seen on tour. I'm filming it in Bristol, and I'm filming it on the 23rd of February. We're doing a 5pm show and a 7pm show. So come along if you live in or near Bristol

and watch it being recorded, and do really big laughs and smiles and don't look at the camera. I'm also at the Soho Theatre in London, and that is in March. So buy tickets now before the dynamic pricing pumps those prices up above levels that you consider acceptable. It's Bud Pod 302. 302, we and you. That is the magical to we and you. That is the magical recipe for Bud Pod. We we and you and you. The listener we film Pierre and you.

Hannah, Matt, James,. Jane. You might want to fast-forward through this bit. And Zalthabar. What, um... I wonder what the oddest name of a listener is. Oh, we've had some corkers. We've had some good ones. Hmm, none really stick. My memory's so bad, none really stick.

Lookman, Lookman's a good one. Lookman is very good. Yeah, that was a nice one. I wonder if anyone's got, like, if we have any listeners with old, like, you know, Ezekiel. Oh, shit, I grew up with kids called that sort of thing in Borneo. Because you know, Christianity is really big in the interior in Borneo with the tribes people, Karazandersons and the like. You meet Karazandersons kids with names like Bathsheba. So I would just call it Bathsheba. Like first testament name.

I can't remember the name, but there was a guy, one of the last times I was in South Africa, it was a guy who I heard the name and I thought, I know that's like just from hearing it, I obviously, it's a biblical name and in South Africa is the same. Everyone's called like, there'll be a lot of like, you know, Simeon Moses, you know, the classics, the big ones. But this guy's name, I was like, I mean, it sounds fucking Babylonian, but I don't know it. Like, I know the Bible fairly well.

Yeah. Yeah. Fairly well. If you, what was it? Do you remember? I literally, I can't remember because I looked it up and it was one of the bigots. Oh, right. The beginning of the Bible when it's all about, when it gets to trying to get to Abraham,

which is just a list of sons and just in the middle of the list. Wow. So it was literally like blah, blah, bigot, blah, blah, bigot, this guy, bigot. And I was like, fuck in hell. You got a mid bigot name. A mid bigot. And I just thought, why is that like when your parents are so very religious, but also the kind of hipsters.

Yeah. They don't just go with any old Abraham or Bathsheba. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Okay, Noah. Yeah. You know, these are some B sides. Yeah. These are some deep cuts.

And then there was another guy where, what was the three Hebrews who Nebuchadnezzar threw into a big furnace. Whoa. Nebuchadnezzar. into a big furnace. Whoa. One of them, he was named after one of them. Icarumba. Yeah, it's Philippi, can you, I don't think Joe Rogan's ever said this. Jamie, can you pull up the three Hebrews

who Nebuchadnezzar threw into the- Wasn't Nebuchadnezzar a Mesopotamian king? Babylonian. Babylon. They worshiped Baal. All the Babylon stuff, is that Old Testament? Yes. Right. Yeah,ed Baal. All the Babylon stuff. Is that Old Testament? Yes. Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. By New Testament times, there was no Babylon. And I'm really, really working hard not to say Babylon. Like fucking Ali G. That so supplanted the pronunciation in my head of like the ancient civilization. And like... Why is Babylon so big in reggae? It's the word for like the devil and like the kind of false consciousness of modern evil isn't it? Like the police are sometimes called the Babylon. Oh gosh really?

It's like saying the man or like the power. Wasn't Babylon a great kingdom or is it like Rome, a great but evil empire? Yeah, evil. Babylon was in opposition to the chosen people. Okay, okay. No, no, they're bad guys. The whole reason that Nebuchadnezzar gets celebrated is because he why is Reggie so into the, the old Testament? It's just metaphorical language. And is it because they think highly Selassie is like Jesus come back? Yeah. Well, there you go. We're already in Bible territory there. My

sweet friend. Yeah. I found out by listening to Tom Holland, the historian, not Spider-Man, though I'd love to hear Spider-Man's views on Christian history. But like Paul, the first of the book writers, the New Testament, his job was to, because Jesus thing happened kind of separate to all the Old Testament stuff, which is all Jewish tradition.

His job was to link Jesus to that old tradition and make that a part of the whole story of the Jews and taking it into this Christian phase. I did not know that. For some reason, I just thought it was all part of the same, I just thought it was like fellowship of the ring in two towns. No, no, no. It had to be sort of worked out and then they had to have a big debate on whether or not to let Gentiles become Christians.

Yes. Yeah, that's a funny thing, isn't it? Yeah, because they're like, oh, these Greeks are kind of gross, but I guess they can be Christians if they want to. Yeah, it's very strange. I think I think and I mean, I went to a school where you had to go to a fucking church all the time and we had religious studies. But I think that they do kids a disservice by not teaching them about how it came about.

I think they worry that if they teach kids how it came about, the kids would go, well, so some guy made it up. And it's like, well, no, the series of administrative decisions were taken. Like they had council meetings. Yes. Yeah. Like the council of Nicaea and you know, things like that. Yeah, the board meetings.

It's basically like Disney trying to figure out. Yeah. Is Goofy a dog or not? If Goofy's a dog, why does he also have Pluto who is a dog? Yeah. Is Goofy a dog or not? If Goofy's a dog, why does he also have Pluto who is a dog? Yeah. And you just have to go- But Pluto's a dog. Is he a dog dog? And Goofy's like a human dog? Yeah. Is Goofy a dog the same way that we're all apes?

Ah. Is Pluto an ape the way that an ape is an ape? Right. Okay. Yeah. So they are technically the same. They share a distant ancestor. Yeah. Goofy does a documentary on how Pluto is his closest relative. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Goofy says things like, Pluto has 98% the same genes as the goofs.

As the goofs. As we goofs. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And all the other goofs are like, GORSH, MY GRANDPAPI WASN'T A DOG! Is that a good character? Anti-evolution goofy. Yeah. Y'all go ahead and say you're descended from dogs, but my granddaddy

wasn't no poodle. You're telling me that the good Lord Walt, he just, uh, he just, uh, magic up a bunch of dogs one day. Yeah. And then- Well yeah, the goofs do have that kind of hill, kind of like Southern kind of hill. That's true, that's it fits. Maybe that is the actual backstory behind Goofy,

is they're all evolution denying dog humans. It's set way in the future. Goofy is set way in the future when dogs have evolution release of split and one has become the homo sapiens of dogs, the canine sapiens, I don't know what you call it. It's like a Planet of the Apes scenario. Yeah, right. Some virus got into some of the dogs and made them clever. Yeah. And now they're having to sort of themselves fight with what they do with the dogs that it didn't happen to. Ah, yeah.

It's very complex moral questions. Yeah. We're not the same. Look. Like that's... I think you're goofy. If I could do one impression that I would love to nail, or like a sound, it would be the sound of when Goofy falls off a big cliff.

Yahoo! Yeah, exactly. But it's so like, in the studio, the guy who recorded it must have been standing up. It's so much behind it, you can hear. It's insane. That'd be great. My girlfriend's very obsessed with those old cartoon screams. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And there's one guy in particular who did all of them. Yes, I know. And he's like, be quiet. Yeah. Like when you're watching old Warner Brothers cartoon and like a bird just jumps up and screams, be quiet. It's all this guy. And because they didn't have sort of microphones that could handle that much volume, he'd have to step back and scream, which is why those, when those characters do that, it sounds like they're kind of far away. You can hear the echo of it. Yeah, right. Yeah. Cause he said to stand back to scream at this ancient microphone.

And I think even as a kid that made it more like, God, Jesus, it's so horrible. It's a horrible. I, there's a, I listen as I recommend looking up, there's a montage of this guy, whatever his name was for Warner Brothers. There's a montage on YouTube. Yeah, would you look up Warner Brothers Screaming Man? Yeah, that and the Nebuchadnezzar thing. These are the... This is what we're interested in today.

There's a montage of him, of his screams over the years. And it's incredible. It's so good. So good. So funny. And like, the pain, you can hear the pain over the years. And it's incredible. It's so good. So good. So funny. And like, it's the pain. You can hear the pain in the screaming. You can hear his vocal cords tearing.

Sometimes it is like Bugs Bunny, but they've had him in to do the scream. So it'll be like Bugs Bunny going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, yeah, someone will annoy him and then they'll like deploy. Screaming man. Screaming man. Screaming man.

Yeah, what a fun job though. Just like living in 19, what would have been 50s LA, just driving around. Driving around dressed like you're in LA noir. Yeah. Little hat and tie and a briefcase and you're just, you're job's just. Gotta clock in today.

Ah! And then you go back home to your massive house. Huge house with a pool. And like, uh, the house of screams are built. Yeah. Yeah. The house that is like the bad guy's house from the big Lebowski, just like on a cliff overlooking a beach. Just incredible. Mel blank.

That's a screaming man. Mel blank. No, there's the Wilhelm screen. That's the Wilhelm screen. So Shep Willey did the Wilhelm screen. No, that's a different thing. We won Mel blank. Yeah. Mel blank.

Nice. But the Wilhelm screen is also awesome. Yes. I saw something the other day that was used twice. Yes. Me too. Was it a film series that every installment of this film, wasn't Harry Potter was it?

But I watched something recently that every installment of the film had one Wilhelm scream in it. There's a lot of the rings. Ah, I think there's a lot of the rings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Watch over the Christmas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, one of the guys falls off the elephant

in Return of the King. Yes, that's it. What is the Wilhelm scream? How does it go? Yeah. It's a Wilhelm scream? How does it go? Yee-haw! It's a really dumb scream. Yeah. You'd be so embarrassed if that was your scream.

Yeah, if you've not heard of the Wilhelm scream, I'm sure potpourrs have heard of it, but look at that, it was very interesting. It was used for one Western movie in the 50s, 40s. The guy gets knocked off his horse and he goes, yee-haw! And that recording has been used ever since. Yeah.

It's become an in-joke. So people will deliberately use it even though they know you'll recognize it. Yeah. Yeah. I accept it because it's intentional. When I hear a sound effect that I know being reused over and over again, it really annoys me. When does that happen?

All the time. Really? I got obsessed with sound effects as a teenager. Of course. Of course. Of course. No explanation needed. Yeah. I would make little cartoons as well.

Did you? Yeah, Macromedia Flash. Oh, shit. Yeah, remember that? Salad Fingers and all that. I thought, I'll make a Flash cartoon. And so I just had all these sound effects. I loved downloading them and stuff,

like just completely illegally. And so from dicking around with them for years, I just know them. So I'll be watching this with them for years, I just know them. So I'll be watching this drama, and I'll be really gripped. And they'll be like, well, I'll show you. And then they shoot the guy. And it's like, gun.wav from 2004. And I just go, oh, well.

Gun 4. Yeah, it's Gun 4. That's Gun 4. Genuinely. It's ruined my life. I didn't realize how often people cheaped out on sound effects. The same comedy fart sound effect isn't pretty much everything. And I just think,

is it that hard to just like wet your forearm and fart on it? Like with your mouth, you know, do your own one. Yeah. The art of foley has died. Foley has died. These lazy, lazy, lazy editors. But yeah, I had already struck me that in movies, basically every sound effect you hear in a movie is not happening on the set. Yeah. The only people, the only things mic'd up are the people.

Oh, a lot of the horse sound effects in almost every film are the same horse sounds from Age of Empires 2, when you like click horses and all of them around. Oh. All that kind of thing. They're the same. So then they'll be like Lord of the Rings and they'll be like, come Shadow Facts. And it'll be like an Age of Emp empire sound effect from my point of view. A horse that died in 1962.

Well, good. Like, it completely takes you out of it. Ozark, the series, there's a bit where if someone follows someone else intimidatingly into a toilet cubicle. And the cubicle. And the fart, you recognize the fart? Yeah, the fart, I'm the horse.

He follows him in on a horse. Well, this isn't scary anymore, because I know the fart. Because I know the fart. Like follows him in on a horse. Well, this isn't scary anymore, because I know the fart. Because I know the fart. Like I know my own name. No, the noise of the cubicle door sinisterly slowly swinging open is like Creek.wav from when I was 11. That's mad.

I just went, oh, fuck off. Because I would have assumed that as fidelity sound and picture fidelity has improved over time, the sound files you need to be of higher resolution. Does that make any sense, Felipe, what I just said? Felipe is nodding. Wav is higher resolution than MP3. That's why the wav files are massive.

Okay. But that sound recorded in the 80s is still high enough resolution to use now. Yeah. Just because it's incidental as well. So they're not expecting anyone with autism to be watching. Yeah. They haven't budged on the show. There's no autism budget. Yeah. That's why the sound effects are so good in like star track and I don't know, train documentaries. They're nailing it. We got to record those fresh. I got an amazing, I don't know if this person listens to Bud

Pod, but if you do, thank you for sending me this. Cause I really thought, wow, you know, they're, but for the grace of God or maybe, maybe I don't mean that. Maybe I mean more like, oh, other people have worse. Someone messaged me saying, oh, you know, I'd like, I love your book or whatever. And the chapters on your misophonia and sound sensitivity. And they said, but there's two or three moments

in the audio book. Cause in the audio books, like eight hours, there's two or three moments where I can hear the slight echo of you speaking before you've fully withdrawn a cup from near your mouth. Wow. So the little bit of echo from your voice into the cup and then back into the microphone. Yeah. As I'm like removing it and then I'm starting narrating again.

So it's not even a full echo. It's like a glancing echo, like a satellite dish in my hand. Yeah. They said they haven't heard the drinking. Yeah. But they can just hear a slight, Wow. For like a second.

Wow. And they were like, They out-autismed you. Oh yeah, no, I put my gun down. I was like, you win. I surrender. Like hands on head, on my knees, like hands behind your back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Completely. You call that autism? This is autism, exactly, yeah. Yeah, the samurai is just like slice a guy in three pieces and you're the last guy remaining. You just drop your sword and run away. Yeah, I always kill myself with it.

I should immediately stab myself to death. Speaking of which actually, Bud Pod listeners, you can help me out if you haven't read the book or listened to it. It's coming out on paperback. A lot of you would message me saying, oh, I hate hardbacks and so on, which I sympathize with because they are very heavy.

It's coming out on paperback in March. We'll put a link in the description to preorder. If you preorder it, you are helping me get onto the charts. Enough of you helped me before that I got close to getting a bestseller. And I found out yesterday from the publisher that if we'd released the book two weeks later with the same numbers, we'd have done it. Wow. Because it was a quiet a week, two weeks after that.

How fucking annoying is that? Anyway, this is the last chance for it to be able to do that. So if you can pre-order it, the way it works is they count the pre-orders in the first week of sales. So you can almost like charge it up like fucking Goku. Hadouken, big Hadouken. Yeah, but you can charge up a big Hadouken of sales if people pre-order.

So if you know anyone else who accidentally memorizes all the sound effects that people use, maybe buy them a paperback version of the book, pre-order it now, and you'd really be helping me out because I really want to get it over the line, Phil. Yeah, it's such a nice thing to have on the about. Oh, but just because until you get something like that, like, oh yeah, number 10 bestseller, the papers don't review it. Right. They're not interested unless they have a reason to. I see. So until then it gets that badge, like without that badge, it won't get the rolling publicity afterwards as opposed to like, Oh, it's became a bestseller

cause it got a review in the times. That's almost never how, a book by a comedian. I think it's a book has a comedian's name on it. Most of the book reviewing industry goes, ah, this is a separate. Yeah. They just go, oh, it's some sort of clown bullshit. One of the clowns is like scrawled in crayon and balloons, like a bunch of fucking clown shit. We're not looking at

this. Yes, that's very true. Yeah. Get on them paperbacks. I prefer paperback personally. Yeah. More portable, more comfortable. Yes. More casual. Bendable. More cheap. Flexible. Felipe, I need to know those those Nebuchadnezzar names. I'm not gonna be able to sleep. Search Nebuchadnezzar furnace three. THREEE furnace three. T H R E E. It's a Nebu N U B. No, it's N E B. N E B.

N E B. N E B. N E B. N E B. U D. He's got it. The second. Sure. The second, why not? Well, just search furnace and the Bible one will come up, whichever one it was. Yeah. So a story

from the Bible. There they are. There they are. To your right. No, I can't zoom in. Shadrach, Meshak and Abednego. Whoa. The guy was called Abednego. The guy you met in South Africa? One of them. Wow, Abednego. Imagine being called Abednego. That's awesome. Whoa.

Nice to meet you. I'm Abednego. That's when I say when I'm going to sleep. That's what I'm going to say. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's almost midnight. Abednego.

Time to Abednego. Time to Abednego. Nice one. Abednego. Awesome. Oh, Abednego. Time to Abednego. Time to Abednego. Nice one, Abednego, awesome. Oh, what a name. Speaking of Missifonia, the other night, the other day was my birthday, Pierre, this week on Wednesday. Yes. And for...

Crappiest birthday. Crappiest birthday. Thank you very much. And for a little treat, I went with some friends to eat shellfish. Yes. Of the Angry Crab Shack in town. And it's a fun place. The Angry Crab Shack?

Well, the Angry Crab Shack. I think it's the Angry Crab Crab Shack. I have no idea. I don't know. The Angry Crab Crab Shack. Angry Crab Shack. I think it's just Angry Crab Shack. Okay.

And it's this place that, you know, food influencers will go, as all these shellfish are poured into a big bowl. It's a seafood boil place where they just throw all these critters into a bag, a plastic bag, and boil the bag with all the sauces in there. In a big bag? In a big bag. And then the lady comes over and just tips it into a big metal bowl in front. You don't get any plates. They give you a bib and gloves and you just- There's something very American about going,

we don't care that this is in plastic. Oh yeah, and it's fantastic. You feel invincible with those gloves. You just start shoving your hand into the bowl. So you got magic gloves. What are the gloves like? Cheap plastic gloves. Oh really?

Oh, no, I meant boiling it in plastic. Oh yeah. It's very American just going like, well, it's quicker to boil it like this. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So they're not trying to, they're not worried about microplastics in the bayou. No, but then sous vide is quite a fancy process and that's just cooking something in a plastic bag too. Yeah, that's true. But. So you stick on your like, you're like, uh, I'm going to search someone's bum in the airport gloves. Yeah. I did a little on the wrist. Nice. I said these crabs are trying to smuggle delicious out of here.

Best try and stop them. Meat smugglers is a horrible porn video name. And you couldn't come and it was lucky you could come because it was Misophonia Central. Slurps and squelch and... No, thank you. Have you seen the substance? Yeah. No, I still haven't, but I know the scene you mean.

There's a scene where he's slurping up prawns and it's, they've turned the volume up to 15. Why do they do that? Cause to make it disgusting. But I think you would, you would jump out of the cinema through the ceiling like cartoon. Yeah. Oh man, we were slurping and squelching and if I'd gone, I would have had to be wearing noise canceling headphones like a baby at a concert. Yeah. And you was fascinating. I looked around the restaurant. Every single person, almost without exception, was either black or East Asian. Really? Yeah. Every single person. It was mad. Yeah. It was crazy. Yeah.

I mean, I suppose, but, uh, it was mad. I've never seen anything like it. Because I was, um, now a good friend, Jason was, uh, joined from Daphne. George was also there and Jason's a black man. I am an East Asian man. And then I noticed, and I noticed how enthusiastic we were being. And then I thought, Hmm, I wonder what the makeup of the rest of the restaurant is. And it was exactly the same, all black or Chinese, basically. What do you attribute that to?

I think being comfortable with whole animals and eating whole animals and especially like and having a real reverence for seafood and shellfish. Yes, yes, yes. That does seem to be a thing. Yeah and not being too sort of sensitive about because like there are there are white British people who like hate seeing the ducks hanging in Chinatown or can't have the fish head on fish. Yes. My, my, my older sister can't handle a fish head. Yeah, I know. I was eating like entire fried fish when I was like four years old. My little sister would dig out the eyeballs and eat eyeballs. Oh, my dad used to do that with the prawns even as well. He'd want the little black eyes, black eyes. Yeah.

As he ate the eyes. Getting dressed should be simple. If you're like me, you want to look good, feel comfortable and be ready for anything. That's why I love Dürer. It's not active wear, but it's not just fashion. It's the best of both worlds, where performance meets style. I wear my Dürer pants to work, out with friends, on hiking trails, and everywhere in between. If you haven't tried Dürer, you've gotta feel the difference for yourself. Head to dürer.ca slash comfort and get 20% off your first purchase today.

That's doer.ca slash comfort. Acas powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. On October 3rd, 1980, a bomb was detonated outside a synagogue on Copernic Street in Paris. Three decades later, French investigators finally identified a suspect in the case. A Lebanese Canadian sociology professor living a quiet life on the outskirts of Ottawa, Canada. Is Hassan Diab guilty? Can you introduce yourself? Or is he a scapegoat? Hassan Diab. From Canada land, this is the Copernic Affair. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. Do you know what? So veganism was invented in England. Is that true? Yeah. During World War II. What? Yeah veganism was invented in England. Is that true? Yeah, during World War II. What? Yeah, so, Felipe, bring that up.

That'd be so funny to bring up every time a boomer tries to pretend that they fought World War II. They go, oh, you're the war where they invented veganism. Oh, the greatest generation, the one that invented veganism. The English tradition. I think veganism is an English tradition. I mean, I say obviously like veganism, I mean in the modern Western sense,

obviously like Janes in India and stuff were already basically vegan. Who's Jane? Jane, vegan Jane. J-A-I-N, the religion. Where it's like you can't even eat garlic or onions. Too tasty. Too tasty, too nice.

Too nice. No, because they're alive when you tear them out of the soil. Whereas like an apple isn't the tree, is it? It's not alive in itself. It's just a piece of the tree. There's also like fruitarians or something that they have to wait for something to actually fall off the tree or the patch or the leaf. Imagine the fucking shits they do.

Everything they eat is overripe fruit. Just as all hell. Constant farting. The term was coined in 1944. Veganism. By British woodworker. Donald Watson. Yeah, there you go. See, so. Do you know what other woodworker had a crazy idea? Jesus. Yeah. It's long hair and he had some crazy notions. So here's a theory for you. How do you like this? Okay. Try this on for size. Okay. How do you like them mushy for just falling off the tree apples? Do you like them? The apples that smell a bit like

nail polish? Because they're so fucking ripe. So maybe cause like if you go to, if you're dealing with an English person who grew up on a farm, they're not like this with the heads and the ducks. They've seen nature. Red and tooth and claw. They understand that for them to eat that, it has to also be dead. Also very posh people. Very posh people, same thing, but often also still affiliated with the countryside. Yes, right, right, right.

They're closer to the food source. So here's a theory for you, because you know, Orwell always went on and on about how British people ate too much like factory food. Like everything comes in cans kind of thing. He was against all that. And when the evacuees went to the countryside, like they didn't understand what cows were and they like they didn't have any idea of like where food came from. And it was a big deal. Like lots of stories came out of it of these like cockney kids being introduced to like a cow and being like, what the fuck

is that? And then seeing milk come out of it and be like, what are you talking about? So Britain industrialized so early and so thoroughly and had these big urban populations, including the middle classes, just eating stuff out of tins. Spam. Yeah. But not being close to the brutal end of the source. It's like, you got to chop this thing's head off and then eat it. Is that what made the vegetarianism and veganism become such a big thing?

Because so many people's origin story is I saw a dead duck hanging and I made the connection between the hanging duck and the duck from my cartoon I love. Yes. Duckie or whatever from my cartoon book. And as a child, I was so traumatized that I refused to. And maybe it was propelled by sort of anti-war sentiment. An anti-bloodshed maybe. Yes.

But just the distance because maybe that's why it doesn't catch on. I think that's a very good point. I think it's no coincidence that the countries with the highest proportion of vegans are the societies that have the most distance from their food sources. Yeah, because it creates that trauma moment. Very wealthy nations have more vegans than it. But if it creates that trauma moment, like if you spend your whole childhood going happy lambs bouncing for the spring, you know, like all your favorite cartoon animals and fucking Mrs. Tiggy Winkle and you know, Paddington Bear and all this.

And then you just see like a fucking one of those ducks that still get like a full duckhead, but its body looks like in this shriveled duck head, but its body looks like it's been waxed and fake tan for like a porno shoot. It's like gleaming bronze in the window. Yeah. And hanging from the neck. Like that's how they killed it. It's hanging from the neck. Like it went for a wax and a spray tan and it went so badly. It's killed itself. You see that in the window. Yeah. Or they're like the eyeless rabbit skull that still has like ears earhase on. Oh, what's that?

Yeah, you see the preserved hanging sometimes. Oh, I don't see that. I guess a counter example that this is India, which has the most vegetarians in the world, I guess. But then it starts with the religion. That's right. Yeah. Whereas what seems to happen in the West is that you're probably statistically not

raised vegetarian or vegan, and then you become it through some process. Through guilt. Through horror. Yes, guilt. you're probably statistically not raised vegetarian or vegan and then you become it through some process. Through guilt. Through horror. Yes, guilt. I separate the guilt trauma decision from the eco decision. Okay, yeah. That's the two main camps of vegetarian.

The eco decision is recent. That's more our generation. Whereas- The old version is the hippie, can't we all just get along? Just horror of violence. Yeah. And animals are lovely.

Gosh. They're not lovely. Imagine being a vegan. It was hard to be a vegan in 2005. Imagine being a vegan in 1944. Just boiled carrots and potatoes. What else could you, it just, you would have, the only thing you could eat would be the

trimmings. Yeah, right. From a Sunday roast, every meal. Carrots, cabbage, potatoes. Carrots, cabbage, potatoes. Swedes, parsnips, turnips. There was no tofu. No.

There was no seitan. They call it seitan. It looks like meat, but it's not meat. It's not very nice, but some of them eat it seitan or tofu. They call it seitan. They call it seitan. They call it seitan. They call it seitan.

They call it seitan. They call it seitan. They call it seitan. They call it seitan. They call it seitan. It looks like meat, but it's not meat. It's not very nice, but some of them eat it seitan or tofu. Tofu out of you. Have you seen... We'll talk about it on the bonus part. Oh yeah. I want to talk about Elon's Hitler salute. Oh yeah, yes.

Our schedules haven't lined up with his Hitler salute, So we're going to discuss it on the bonus part. Speaking of spicy loons, let's do some correspondence. Oh, yes. So this is from Dan. So this is from Dan. Dan, hot Dan. Hot Dan. Dear Gruyerne Smelly and Phyllis Melfia. Jesus. Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. I knew, I know a guy who, cause South Africa is quite socially conservative. I have a family friend who says cheese and rice. Instead of Jesus Christ. That's funny. Cheese and rice, which is like also it's a rare combo. The Japanese I feel like have cheese and rice. Yeah, but they have their version of cheese and that's not good.

Yeah. I've seen photos of Japanese like street pizza and it's like American cheese on like pita bread with no tomato. And you're like, come on guys, you're making it clear that we are not to blame for being bad at sushi. This is a mutual incompetence.

Anyway, cheese and rice. On an earlier episode, you mused about someone who doesn't consume any culture, popular or otherwise, and how absurd that person's life must be. I don't specifically remember that, but I do often think about that kind of person. And I've met a couple.

Oh yeah, they're everywhere. And they're odd to talk to. I didn't manage to get a full insight into their life, but when I was a teenager 15 years ago, I once met a guy who basically fitted the bill. I attempted to start a conversation with him and asked what sort of music he was into. He looked at me for a moment with a deadpan expression

before responding, nothing. I said, what do you mean nothing? And he replied, he replied, don't listen to it mate. It's all gash in it. Isn't that amazing? Oh yeah. Don't listen to it. What music?

Yeah. It's all gash. It's all gash in it. All music. Yeah. In history. Yeah. So Mozart and Tribe Called Quest. All the same.

Yeah. Yeah. Mozart and Tribe Called Quest. It's all the same. Jazz and the Wu-Tang Clan. Gash. Just drums, the sound of drums. Gash. Or Gash. Harpsichord. Gash.

Enya and Deadmau5. Gash. Or Gash. Christmas Carols and Skrillex. Gash. All gash. Christmas carols and Skrillex. Gash. Dubstep and disco. Gash. Gash, gash, gash, gash, gash, gash.

The Beatles and me humming as I open my car. Gash. Gash. Do you want to come to the symphony this weekend? I don't really like Chapel Roan, so I probably wouldn't enjoy it. Yeah, it's all gash. It's all gash. I've heard music. Music? You mean's all gash. I've heard music.

Music? You mean gash? Music? I've heard a bit of that. It's kind of like, you know how Michael Owen got infamous for hating movies. Yeah, he'd watch seven films and like three were like biopics and something as well. Like it wasn't even like film films. He hates them.

He hates films. He said he watches them going, none of this happened. I don't even know if that's autism. That's something else. He hates films. He said he watches them going, none of this happened. I don't even know if that's autism. That's something else. I, I, I don't know what to call that. Have you seen his video advertising Dubai? It's amazing. He's in a fake helicopter. He's in a fake helicopter. He's in a fake helicopter. He says, well, let's take a closer look, shall we? And then it's like,

it goes near a skyscraper. It's like, wow. It's awesome. He's clearly said to them, I'll do the advert for Dubai, but I'm not leaving London. Yeah. He likes Dubai because they don't let you sit there. There's no cinemas. You can't watch films. They're all censored so much. They're only half an hour long. He's like, great. Could you censor it down to nil? It's all gash, innit? He'd love Saudi Arabia before it started modernizing. No films, it's not allowed. It's not allowed. Wow. Okay. So he said, don't listen to it, mate.

It's all gash, innit? Dumbstruck by his answer, I was unable to follow up with any further probing questions. Shortly afterwards, he rode off down the street on his BMX. I'm into this guy in like Al Qaeda controlled Afghanistan. He'd love it. Not a single song. He's like, I'm going to go to the further probing questions. And shortly afterwards, he rode off down the street on his BMX. Mending this guy in like Al Qaeda controlled Afghanistan. He'd love it. Not a single song. No stringed instruments.

Not nothing. Yeah. No singing. The only song. He'd be walking around going, why does it sound so great in this country? It's all just murmuring. Terrified murmuring. The closest thing to a song though would be the call to prayer. Do you think maybe he'd be like, is there a way that we could make even the call to prayer? Just like a guy shouting, as opposed to having any kind of tonal variations in it. Could it just be like, Hey, could it just be like that? Not even that can be sung.

The Taliban recently banned women from hearing other women's voices. Wow. I think. Something along those lines that they can't hear each other talking. No murder podcasts. No murder podcasts coming out of Afghanistan anytime soon.

It's all broke podcasts. Yeah. It's all, to be fair, I mean, it would just be like talking about like a sort of violent male sports and conspiracy theories about how the world is run. So I mean, they'd like it. They'd be good at it. Did you see that big article about how the Taliban really hate running the country? Oh, no.

Like, because they took over, but now someone has to run the ministry of agriculture. But didn't have to do that before. Well, yeah, but the last time they ran the country was like 30 years ago. These are like 19 year old guerrilla warfare veterans. And they've been like riding around in jeeps firing in the air, elulating. And before that, like living on the lam, like trying to fight Americans and whatever. And now it's like, you sit inside all day in a city 2000 miles away from where you're from, where they don't speak your tribal language,

and you fill in these forms. And they're always saying, this sucks, I hate this. And everyone's like, yeah, well, you wanted to be in charge. So now you have to run the Ministry of Agriculture. Be careful what you wish for, just might happen. That's all they keep saying. I hate it. It's a really funny article, I recommend Googling it.

Unreasonable annoyance from Dan. This one occurred to me recently over the festive period. People who, when a group cheers has been declared, must physically clink glasses with everyone regardless of how far away they are across the room or over the table. When a simple raise of the glass and maybe even an acknowledging nod would suffice. I do that sometimes. I do that because my completionist gene just kicks in. I have like, I get like Terminator vision on all the glasses that have been clinked and like the ones having clinked are like

green and then there's one red glass left. So I'm one of those people I have to finish. Me too. And it feels pathetic. No, me! No, please! Clink me! Please! And you see the person's already like sitting back down and you're like, no, no! Just throw the glass at that glass. Otherwise I feel rude. Like I'm sort of going like to the people nearest me like, yes, my allies, yes. And you across the table. Enjoy your drink. Yeah.

Maybe your last. Maybe your last. We haven't clinked glasses. So I, I would prefer as a compromise, Dan, because I, it isn, because it is annoying. Either we agree, are we all gonna cheers clink time, or we're all going to like, you know, are we all gonna just great Gatsby it from where we are? Like we're the Polish cavalry. It has to be all or nothing. Either all just raising the glass

or all clinking everyone's glass. Yes, either it's clink time or it's raisin nod time. Raisin nod, yeah. Clink or raisin. That's the choice here. That's another one of those restaurants that sounds like it's opening nearby. With clink and raisin. They've opened a clink and raisin.

Good sandwiches. Yeah, but you know, the people. The coffee sucks. They're like 11 pounds. All I can think about is they approach me squeezing past others or leaning right over the table, fully extending their arm with one leg in the air. Like they're trying to pot a tricky red.

It's how pathetic I find it. Love the show and Koji, Dan, that's great. Thanks, Dan. It's really funny. Thank you, Dan. Well, we are both that pathetic person. We are both clinking worms. But we are tall men. We have the reach. Yeah, I can do it without raising a leg in most tables. Not to boast.

But if we're in some kind of Viking long table scenario, then I'll just be a raisin and not a clinking. Ah! One of my few good impressions. The completely consonant-less chanting. A tavern full of the big... Just all... Somehow it's... Somehow it's just all vowels. Vowels. Ruh-ruh! Ruh-ruh! Ruh-ruh! It's wine o'clock somewhere. Give me the coffee and no one gets hurt.

Bless this mess. I like two things. Pals and Prosecco. And I'm all out of pals. One Prosecco, two Prosecco, three Prosecco, four. If the wife asks, I'm working. Keep calm and keep drinking tea. Tatatak! If the wife asks, I'm working. Keep calm and keep drinking tea.

Tat attack! We've got some tat from Emily. Emily! Give Emily! Give them to us the tat. Yes. Love the podcast. I wanted to send in some tat specifically from the realm of minor YouTuber merchandise. So this is some kind of YouTuber. A minor one. And that's minor as in small as opposed to here. Hi guys. I'm done the mine. Hi guys. This is my pickaxe. I have a pickaxe. I put the hand behind the pickaxe there to show

off the pickaxe. Yeah. It's my pickaxe. Today we're mining tin. So it's a little boring. So I just thought it's about as an app. Unboxing the earth. Today we're mining tin, so that's a little boring. So I just thought I'd spice it up. Unboxing the earth. Yeah. Unboxing some basalt to see if there's traces of gold. Time for smelt cam. There's like a different camera that's like heat proof that you get to watch it all being

smelted. I'm already winning myself over to this channel. To mining YouTube. Mining YouTube. What, like Minecraft? No, real miners. Real like, like haggard men with sooty faces going, hi guys. He's one of the biggest minefluences around.

Mining companies pay him just to come work in their mine just for a bit because it really boosts morale and people get a lot more publicity about the mining. If you can't read what the second t-shirt says because of the picture, it says, okay, so, okay, let's see if you can guess. Tinfluences. Tinfluences. Tinfluences. Tinfluences.

Or minfluences for minerals, mineral influences, minfluences. Tinfluences. Or minfluences for minerals, mineral influences, minfluences. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it as an idea. It would be more educational than what we have now. We're going to get there, man. We're going to get there. Oh yeah. So whoever this person is, one of the t-shirts she's selling, it's a sort of crop top shirt

and it's got a kind of cartoon character on that's got no real resonance or relevance. It's a sort of crop top shirt. And it's got a kind of cartoon character on that's got no real resonance or relevance. It's just a- Royalty free cartoon character. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. How can I make you whisper this? I don't think this first one is whisperable.

Okay. The woman in the picture is doing this, which is gross. I'm gonna, I'll show you. She's going. So doing two middle fingers with a tongue stuck out, eyes closed, like all silly. I'm cute, but I'm also a rebel. I'm cute, but I'm being so rude.

Yeah. Lul. Horrible. That's awful. And there's a photo of a person. It's a photo of them wearing their own merch, I guess. Oh yeah, of course, yeah. And there's F- of them wearing their own merch, I guess. Oh yeah, of course. There's F-bomb kinda mom.

I'm an F-bomb kinda mom. I don't swear in front of the children. You can't come to parents' evening anymore. I have a pathetic annoyance I have is how many like little rhyming meme humor things only work in the most broad nasal American accent. Yeah. Bomb. Bomb. Mom. I'm an F bomb kind of mom. What do you mean by that? So we don't say F bomb. You say fucker. You don't in this country. Yeah, that's right. Which is for some respect. God damn it. I'm proud to be British. I love it.

The Glaswegian equivalent would just be like cunt mum, just on a t-shirt. Cunt ma. Cunt ma. Yeah. I'm a cunt. That doesn't rhyme at all. I'm a cunt cana ma. Jesus Christ. and rice.

Oh, it's a little bomb. The cartoons, a little bomb. I guess so. I guess it's a bomb. Let's see if I can whisper this minor influences. The picture on this one is like a skull with flaming eyes. Whoa, that's don't call Steve Austin's gear. Yeah, she's stealing stone Cold Steve Austin's gear. Yeah. She's stealing

Stone Cold Steve Austin's gear. Well, she better watch out because one day the music's going to play and she's going to get thrown over a big table. Stone Cold didn't do very much table stuff, actually. Did he not? No, no. Well, after he got injured, he could do less and less. You can watch the footage of him getting his neck broken. No, please. By Owen Hart. No, thank you Well, after he got injured, he could do less and less. You can watch the footage of him getting his neck broken by Owen Hart. There's an inverted pile driver that lands right on his head and then he can't, but then he has to win the match, but he's got a neck broken neck. It's a crawl over and does most unconvincing pen. There was a recent, there's a video on going around Instagram. There's a confluence of my two loves and it's Stone Cold Steve Austin and Undertaker doing a wine tasting.

I've seen that. It's so great. Look at the legs, look at the legs. And he takes a sip and he goes, that is indeed a tasty beverage. That's not what it's about Stone Cold. Look at the legs. Then you take a whiff, that is a lovely bouquet.

So he's just saying the words. Yeah. Nice. Okay. Well. It was indeed a taste of beverage. Flaming skull eyes. And it just says, good moms say bad words. Okay. So this is a thing that she swears.

Bit swearing. But has children. Bit swearing. Proud mom, bit swearing. Tea drinker, proud mom, bit swearing. But has children. Bit swearing. Proud mom, bit swearing. Tea drinker, proud mom, bit swearing. Bit swearing. Watch out. I say words that are swearing. Okay. Do you have a gun?

Then I'll watch out. Well, she probably does. That's true. Good moms say bad words. Do they? I mean. Do you swear around your kids? No.

Bad mother. I mean, I swear. I swear. I swear. I swear. I swear. I swear. I swear. I swear. I swear. I swear. good moms say bad words. Do they? I mean, do you swear around your kids? No, bad mother.

I would challenge her to follow that kind of mother walking down the average British high street and tell me if that looks like a good family unit. Say, you know what? Do those kids look like they're gonna grow up mentally, emotionally healthy? Yeah. You follow this woman who is screaming obscenities at her pram bound child. Like it's an adult.

Like it's not only an adult, but like an adult who's been in the Navy. Follow this lady around. Watch what the seven year old who she's ignoring trailing behind them does and see if that kid is doing the kind of thing a good kid does. There's your challenge, sweary mom, F-bomb mom. Come to our desolate gambling shop studded high streets. See if good moms use bad words. See how many F-bomb moms we have. I was in London Bridge station recently

and there was a couple of you little boys and they just had a plastic empty plastic bottle and they were just cutting it into the wall, right? I've seen those kids. Just fucking booting it into the wall. And I was like, where are the pair? Then I saw the dad sitting just next to them. Yeah.

Just chatting to someone as his son just, bow in the middle of London bridge station. In the middle of one of the busiest train stations in Europe. And, and like, he's not ashamed that people can see these boys are his sons. Um, every year I'm getting closer and closer to telling parents, you, you child shouldn't be doing that. Yeah. Every year I'm like, and I just feel

like I can't hold it in anymore. It's I have the same thing. I was joking on stage last night, right? I was saying, uh, ever is this, is this good joke? I'll test it on the Bud pod listeners. Even though I can't hear their laughter. So it's functionally useless. Yeah.

Um, everyone at the airport dresses like they live there and they weren't expecting me. Everyone working there, everyone at the airport dresses like they live there and they weren't expecting me. Everyone working there? Everyone at the airport in general. Oh, right. All the humans in the airport dress like they live there and it's 7 a.m. on Sunday and I've burst in. And I don't like how everyone wears tracksuits all the time, but also they're like gray prison tracksuits. Everyone looks like they've just burst out of a mental hospital. Or they're wearing beige, almost flesh colored skin tight bodywear.

So it looks like they're nude in the Sims. And they are ferreying from shop to shop as if there is an everyday thing. As if they're just there all the time. That's where they shop. That's where they eat. It's. Is that what you mean? Yeah.

But just the standards. I'm getting the thing that you're getting where in the back of your head, you're slowly becoming Peter Hitchens, composing a daily mail column about how people, but then the standards I want is jeans. I'm not saying men should still wear hats and ties. I just wish people would wear not pajamas. And I'm insane because I'm noticing that everyone is in filthy gray pajamas. I've started wearing basically pajamas for flights though. Flights, okay, but like- But you're talking about the airport. That's why people are dressed like that. No, I know, but it's like a flight. There's like 40 minutes.

You can't wear fucking jeans for 40 minutes. You are, I must say, a very loyal jean wearer. Yeah. 40 minutes. You can't wear fucking jeans for 40 minutes. You are, I must say, a very loyal jean wearer. Yeah. Yeah. You're one of the most loyal person to jeans I know. I haven't worn a pair of jeans in, I think, six years. I know, but you found nice trousers that look formal, but fit nicely in the comfortable way. And they don't make them in my size. No, they don't. Or I would have joined you on the good ship. Soft, on the good ship, soft trowel.

Yeah, I would have, but they look like formal trousers. You don't look like you're in pajamas. Yeah. Whereas everyone at the airport looks like they're on day release. But I started wearing these trousers because there was a period where I was traveling and working so much that I just couldn't be bothered

having my belt beep through the airport scanners anymore. So it's like, I need trousers I can hold up without metal. Yeah. I just couldn't be bothered having my belt beep through the airport scanners anymore. So it's like, I need trousers. I can hold up without metal. Yeah. I just, yeah, I it's, but yeah, as you say, I have the same thing as well, where you just want to say to someone, you have a shitty kid. Yeah. Your kid, your kid sucks. You're shitty and your kids are going to become shitty like you. Yeah. Tell, tell them to go to school and pay attention. Tell them to pay attention at school.

And like you didn't, please. I've lost all patience with these people. Let's do it on bonus points. This is going to be our spicy takes. More of this charming daily mail column content on Friday. I can feel it happening to myself. Like in the movies where people look and they see the zombie bite and they can feel their foreheads getting hot. To keep it a secret from everyone.

Yeah, exactly. Well, thank you for listening. Patreons, we'll see you on Friday for the bonus. Yes, please pre-order the paperback of my book if you have not read or done anything to do with my book ever, I would appreciate it very much because I want to get the book some attention on a bigger scale. And the only way to do that is with pre-orders. So if instead, like in seven months from now, you go, I think I might pick up that paperback. That's so much less helpful. It's still good, but man, it's like infinitely better to just pre-order it.

And the hardback has run out. Oh, wow. It's like a four month wait for the hardback. So you're not going to get one. That's amazing. So, you know, think about that. Super. All right, folks. Talk to you soon. Bye. on hiking trails, and everywhere in between. If you haven't tried Dewar, you've gotta feel the difference for yourself. Head to dewar.ca slash comfort and get 20% off your first purchase today. That's dewar.ca slash comfort.