BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 316 - Minced Beast

Episode Date: May 21, 2025

This week the boys discuss Phil Collins' masterpiece 'Tarzan', Mr. Beast and the golden age of DVDs, accompanied by some awful wackaging, tat, and an important message for all listeners.BonusPod coming this Friday on Patreon! Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Don't forget that Bud Pod Live is on as part of the Cheerful Eeriful podcast festival in October on the 12th. The pre-sale tickets are running out. There are only maybe a quarter of them left. So if you want some delicious pre-sale tickets at a lovely Bud Pod discount, you better get on it because they're running out. Otherwise, we will see you in October at the Clapham Grand. It's Bud Pod 316. 316. We've six spleens. We have six sick spleens. Pierre is bleeding from the nose. I am, yeah. Because of his maladies. His summer maladies.

I have multiple spleens and both of them are sick. Here's a question. It's 316. Isn't it John 316 is that Bible passage that everyone holds up at like wrestling matches and concerts and things? Austin 316. Stone Cold Dust, yeah. So Stone Cold Steve Austin. I didn't miss that.

Stone Cold Steve Austin, one of his catchphrases is Austin 316 is in the passage from the Bible. And he, he riffed this promo as it's called in wrestling after he defeated Jake the Snake Roberts, who, who was part of his character was he was religious and Christian and he would recite passages from the Bible. And after, and Stone Cold Steve Austin beats Jake, the snake Roberts, and he does a promo straight away and he goes, you stand there and you Bible thump and you talk about your John three 16. Well, Austin three 16 says, I just whooped your ass. And he improv this and it became huge. So the next, the next show people turning it was signs and Austin

three 16 and then became part of his, uh, his accoutrement on his clothes, on his, on all his merch. I, because John three 16 is something like, I, I, I, you know how like, we have to like back understand American culture through like cartoons, right? So you go like, right. Richard Nixon is on Futurama. I now know things about Richard Nixon, but only through him as a talking head Richard Nixon is on Futurama. I now know things about Richard Nixon, but only through him as a talking head in a jar on Futurama, because I know that his zombie bodyguard is called Spiro Agnew, who was his vice president.

And you go, oh, okay, I'm learning about American political history from the 70s through this futuristic cartoon. I had the same thing with John 316. I swear there's some cartoon where like the joke was like, oh, you know, like when cartoons transformed themselves into like a creature or something, or they go, oh, I guess I'm in the audience now. And they'll become like a stereotypical audience member or like Bugs Bunny will dress as a

detective or policeman. But the way that Bugs Bunny dresses up is as an Irish New York cop from 1920. Yes. And yeah, why are they always Irish? It's always a very specific uniform like... With the baton spinning the baton. Exactly. Yeah.

That no one's used for decades. You go, oh, that's symbolic of policeman to me now. Yes. Even though it has never had any relevance to me and it's not my reference point. Yes. Audience member, I've seen, I have this memory of a cartoon character being in an audience and putting on a rainbow wig and holding up John 316.

Oh, OK. Because that was this thing that people would do in audiences or in crowds at sports games. The idea being like you're eye catching and people would see John 316 and then maybe go look at it and it would convert them to. I wonder what John 316 actually says. It says something like, God so loves...

It's something, isn't it, God so loved the world that he gave his only son? It's something that's supposed to tug on your old heartstrings or something, I think. Is it... Go to Bible.com. Yeah, he's correct. Yeah! For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, whoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life." What's the sport relevant to that?

Bible. I'm just very pleased I got that. No, it's not sporting relevant. It's just like, this is televised and it's a chance for me to spread the good word. Oh, okay. So they really aren't religious. That's why they would be doing it at like the wrestling too. Right. So we're like, woo, wrestling, but also don't forget. God so love the world, right? You know. Okay, okay. It's promo. Promo for God. Coca-Cola's got nothing to do with the Olympics, but you know, it's all over the new nose. Yeah. Yeah. These guys are just freelancing. How do we get onto three John 316? Because it's 316, the episode. Of course. Yeah. These guys are just freelancing. How did we get onto three John three 16? Cause it's three 16 the episode.

Of course. Yeah. God damn it. It's the most religious time of day. Three 16. It is. But pod gave it's only sons. Phil and Pierre. It's only bums. Well on, um, I, I think I'm developing hay fever now. Do you know, do you know you can become allergic to anything at any point in your life?

You just become allergic. It's a horrifying thought. I think that's why, um, people have people become lactose intolerant because they get all guilty about cows and they stop having dairy. And then the second they go back to old mother dairy, the cows, it's farting shitting time. It's called the cows revenge cows revenge, which is what lactose intolerance used to be called. But yeah, sometime now I get a little bungy, a little tight in the chest.

I have to have my little inhalers now. Do you get the headaches? No. Oh, okay. Thank God. You get headaches from hay fever. Yeah, if it's a really polliny day, or if it's like, sometimes you walk around and like, I imagine if you don't have hay fever, it's one of the things that makes summer nice is that you walk around and the air smells sweet. Yeah. It's kind of breading, brioche. Sweet pollen. That smell to me is I enjoy, I enjoy the smell for about a second.

I enjoy the smell for about a second. To me, it's like a nuclear blast. Lovely weather, very warm and bright, for that millisecond before it immediately dissolves me in a wall of flame. So I'll smell that smell and I go, ooh, that's it. Oh no. Vroom. Vroom.

I can feel it in my eyes, in my nose, clogged with pollen. And it's just headaches and itchy eyeballs and I'm not breathing correctly all day. You're like the end of all the worlds, how do we defeat this massive... Simple human flu, simple disease, yeah, simple plant jizz. All it took was a plant to do a big jizz in the air. And this giant man. It was plant that killed the beast in the end. It wouldn't have been as good if King Kong, they'd

they'd gone, ah, it was machine guns that killed the, you know. They just machine guns and loads of biplanes flying around and shooting him in the face that killed the beast. It was machine guns and loads of biplanes flying around and shooting him in the face that killed the beast. T'was bullets. Makes you think. Makes you think about how bullets can kill people. Even big people. It was a simple poison that killed the beast.

Humble, incredibly fast acting, concentrated poison. It was a simple cutting the beast into loads of pieces that killed the beast. Twist being minced that killed the beast. This is a great scene in the ballad of Dewey Cox, Walk Hard. If you haven't seen it and you're listening, I cannot recommend it enough, especially given how many music biopics we've had recently. Oh yes. Walk Hard is so good.

I mean, it's so funny. It's based most directly on Walk the Line, the Johnny Cash biopic, but it is so funny and hits all the beats of a music biopic. And there's a bit of the beginning, near the beginning where they're playing with swords and or something and he cuts his brother in half. And this is part of his origin story is that he feels guilt for killing his brother and he slices brother in half. So his brother's top torso is on the ground and the legs are stood next to the torso and the brother's like oh god and he says I'm cut in half pretty bad here over Dewey. I'm cut in half pretty bad over here Dewey.

And me and my girlfriend always say no, couldn't have pretty bad over here. It's so funny. That kind of evil dad as well. Oh yeah. The wrong kid dad. Constantly screaming horrible things at him. I've noticed something about a certain type of American film because they do this in walk hard and they do it in walk the line and they do it in a bunch of films.

I watched, I mentioned how I watched on the flight back. They do this in Walk Hard and they do it in Walk the Line and they do it in a bunch of films. I watched, I mentioned how I watched on the flight back, I watched Hacksaw Ridge. Oh yeah. About Desmond Doss, the seventh day Adventist who won the Medal of Honor for not carrying a gun and just being a medic with no weapon on Iwo Jima, no Okinawa and saved saved like 50 to 100 guys.

But so it's like a biopic, Hacksaw Ridge, it's like a biopic of Desmond Doss. And this has it. And it's a thing where any American, I think Elvis movie had it a bit. There's a bit about an American man, especially if they're from anywhere rural. But even in New York, I can see this happening where they're about 10, 10 to 13 years old. They're very, very thin, kind of lanky boy. And they're wearing like a smudgy, grubby white vest with suspenders and flannel brown, dark brown trousers that have like quite high above the socks and little shoes.

And they're like run running through something, the dust bowl, something somewhere dusty, some a lot of grass. Yeah. In Desmond Doss, he's wearing a grubby white vest with suspenders and brown trousers. And he's running through the Appalachian Hills or whatever Virginia in walk hard and walk the line. They're running through whatever the streets of the little Tennessee town. And then in like, if it's from New York, they'll be doing that running around a fire hydrant that someone's opened.

And they have a flat cap. And they have a flat cap and they're running around and getting all wet cause it's really hot and summer in New York. And someone cheeky has opened the fire hydrant. Yeah. And it's like, that's just this image. I have see it into my brain of a sort of gangly 11 year old

running in a grubby vest and brown trousers. It's just, I've seen it so much in my life. It's like, it's like a uniform. And it's also, it almost doesn't matter when, at what point in history they're alive. Forrest Gump. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Grubby white vest, suspenders, brown trousers.

Yeah. And then when they're adults, it's like 2003. I was like, wait, what? How old are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It should be a bunch of kids with shaved haircuts, except for the top, like grubby white vest, brown trousers and suspenders, running around a fire hydrant. And then it should fade in.

The camera should come in on a crane and they're running around Hey mister. Hey mister, and then the title card should come up 2001 It should come up in like old-timey writing New York 2001. Hey mister The law is that your childhood was like that You know when you're alive now if you are an American man in a bi that your childhood was like that. Yeah. No matter when you're alive now. If you are an American man in a biopic, your childhood, you were wearing a wife beater, age four, and running around a dusty ass field. Yeah. Until you were called in for pie by like a woman in a polka dot dress.

Yeah. Like a gingham dress. A gingham dress. And then, and your house had like a white picket fence, but in an area where there's no real need to delineate land. Do you know what I mean? Often it'd be like a fence, but there'd be like in a big field and you think, what's a fence for? What'd you have a fence? Why not have more land? Why not just put the fence a bit further?

Make the fence a bit bigger. It's yours, isn't it? You're a farmer. Are you? Are you a farmer? There's a sort of tractor in the background. It's farming is implied, but I'm not seeing any farming and there's no crops in the background yeah running around in a grubby vest in the same way that in this country as Well, I think Friend of the podcast Glenn Moore pointed out if you're old you fought in World War two. Yes It doesn't matter if you actually did no It's just that if you're old you fought in World War II. Yes. It doesn't matter if you actually did. No. It's just that if you're old, you fought in World War II and you get to talk like you

did. You get to go on Britain's Got Talent and sing We'll Meet Again, even if the only war that happened while you're alive was the Falklands. Yeah. Because you were born in 1960. You just look fucking old. Yeah. So in the by-pick of your life, Pierre, what is the childhood scene? What are you running

around? What are you wearing? You'd have to have a kind of slightly insensitive, completely inaccurate thing of me running around in a grubby vest and suspenders and brown trousers through like the African bush. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Great. And that would be the... And like running with the lions. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. As if they're your pets and then they're kind of like incredibly vague world music and then they did it, you know, just as you're running with the lions, you become older. You're still running. Yeah. Yeah. I'm running with the lion. I'm running with a lion and an antelope and then as I'm getting older, do you see the

antelope just become a skeleton and get eaten by the lion? You're still smiling. I haven't noticed that my friend I guess is gone. And they would have to be like... And you're naked. Yeah, yeah. I get more clothes. You go from like Mowgli to like a business suit. Yeah.

And you'd have to do a sort of insensitive bit where I got told to pursue my dream of being a comedian by like an old Zulu Sangoma soothsayer. That would be a bit where like a blind Sangoma. Throw some sand into the air and it forms a constellation that shows your future. So it's various dice and bones and things to sort of foretell things. And yeah, and there's just starts laughing. And I say, what's so funny?

And say, oh no, you just, you've got this good bit late in a few years. You've got a good bit. Yeah. That's how all shamans speak. Why are you laughing at? Oh, you just got, there's a good bit. You've got this good bit later about KFC. It doesn't matter.

You'll write it. You'll figure it out. My childhood, I guess, because I grew up near the rainforest. Well, that's it. In the rainforest. It'd be like Tarzani, I guess. Swimming, swinging on the vines with orangutans.

Yes, we'd need some swinging. Son of man, son of man, for all to see. Did you ever watch the Disney Tarzan? Yes. That Phil Collins incredibly did the whole soundtrack for. He just decided this is what I'll spend the 90s doing. And he didn't pull back. It's a proper, I listened to that album just for the music from time to time. Like this is such a great album. It's like, it's a meme how good it is. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it's, it's crazy. What's the, what's the main theme? What are the, the refrain?

I keep saying. You, you'll be in my heart, no matter what they say. Yeah. You'll be here in my heart. Isn't there something about you're a, you're a real boy or something? There's some. Well, Son of Man is kind of about that. Son of Man.

That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Really good. is kind of about that. Son of Man, that's right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, really good. Like all good standalone songs. Really good. It could have been a concept album with no films. Oh, for sure. And he could have released it and then in interviews

he'd be like, oh, actually, it's all inspired by Tarzan. People would be like, really? Oh, I guess so. I just enjoyed it. Which is a real tribute to it. Yeah, and I liked the art style as well. Everyone's quite angular and knuckly. Yes, yeah.

And it was early on in the computer. I know so much about how various noughties Disney films were animated because we watched the Disney Channel and they would play like 10 minute long documentaries on how each new animated film was made. So I know like that the vines were all computer simulated and they had to design a new program for how he slid along

the tree branches and then Mulan all the Mongols simulate like computer multiplied or whatever. I know exactly the segment of quite dull behind the scenes. Yeah, for children they were showing. You're talking about, I saw that. Yeah. And also we had a CD-ROM or something at some point. Tarzan was so pushed.

I got like a CD-ROM and a cereal packet about Tarzan. Yeah. They really went hard for every animated film back in the day. It would always have like a Tarzan. Computer game. A Tarzan's head shaped cup at McDonald's. Computer game. Well, album. Full album. Yeah. But I know exactly what you mean when you're a kid and you're thinking, I guess

I'm sort of nominally interested in seeing all these like pencil sketches of Tarzan's face become colored in. Well, like a very nerdy looking man. Yeah. Like a man who looks like a sort of fat, kind of a fat Logan Roy. There's always a guy with like a big white beard and a Hawaiian shirt.

Yes. He's sort of a bit spherical, very portly. And you can see here that we designed that and it's just in some studio in LA and you just think I'm in nine. Thing about Tarzan, you got to start with two small ovals. And I was like, well, I guess we all need to know how to draw Tarzan. This is going to come up. This is going to be like the rain cycle.

I'm going to have to in an exam. It'll be like just draw for 10 marks. Draw Tarzan. Draw Disney's Tarzan as accurately as you can. Oh, okay. I knew it. Yeah. For two marks. What was computer generated? Were you watching Disney Channel in South Africa? No, Alman. Alman. Sky. Sky TV. Were you watching Disney Channel in South Africa? Were you? No, Alamand. Alamand, oh, okay. Sky TV.

I was gonna ask if you had, if in South Africa you had a regional Disney Channel sort of hub with your own presenters who had sort of, in the style of SMTV here, would do segments between the shows and introduce the next episode. We had KTV, Kids TV. KTV, I think, was a channel in South Africa

that had like kids presenters and had that vibe. Oh yeah. Like, oh, what a great adventure there from the Fresh Prince. Yeah, great. But heavily Americanized. Yes, today we, ours would be, the studio must have been in Singapore, okay, and all the presenters were Eurasian pretty much.

And yeah, American accents, even though they're Malaysian. And was that for the whole like kind of region of Malaysia, Indonesia, Singapore? I think it would have been Southeast Asia, yeah. It must have been, right? Cause you just go, we need to cover as big an area. Cause similarly MTV and something we had called Channel V, which is the other video music channel would have regional

Southeast Asian present. I think the Southeast Asian population is so huge Right. I mean, what is it? It must be in Indonesia's like 200 million or something insane isn't it? It's huge. Uh-huh Southern Africa is just not populous enough and there's not enough. Oh yeah. Like back then, there just wouldn't have been enough satellite TV watches.

You know? So I think that's, would have limited it. Maybe there's like Disney Africa now or something, but it's going to be as vague as that. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even know if it would even be like Disney West Africa or Disney South or Disney Southern. I reckon it's probably just...

Here's your satellite TV, each of you can put it in and shut up. And just like local kids TV filtering it. But yeah, KTV. What about Felipe's childhood years in his biopic? What would he be? I guess... He'd be the shy... Smoking a cigar on a pier waiting for a...

Shipment to come in. Shipment to come in, yeah. No, Filippo would be the shy boy hiding behind Scarface's legs at the meeting. But learning. Learning. Always learning. Always listening. Listening and watching. And always underestimated by the other gangsters who just see him as like, he's just a little

kid. They don't understand the dark beating heart of the entrepreneur. And the boss is like, hey, you be nice. In one of these dates, he's going to be in charge. And I was like, all right, whatever you say. And they squeeze Felipe's cheeks. And they give him a little time.

All right, they're bruiser. And they, you know. Yeah, big fella. And then at some point, they all realize all realize actually it's quite serious when you know 14 Felipe just takes responsibility for just executing one of them. Yeah, right Steps up and just sure he's grown up Well, he finds one of them pilfering and it's the one who's always been nicest to him as well So he's really afraid it's the one who's always been like giving him little toys and things and presents

Yeah, nice and then the it'll be like one of the things where it's like, it's, it's, it's not the first time you've done it. It's just the first time I've caught you. And then bow off of his head. Yeah. And everyone else is like, shit, I guess the whole family's run by this 14 year old man. That'd be great. I would watch that. I've talked myself into watching Young Felipe. Speaking of the parody films, did you ever watch Mafia? I think it was Mafia! No. And it's a parody of Godfather and all the mafia movies. Really?

Yeah. There was a period where they made all these parody movies. Clue. Per Clue. Clue was the big parody movie I watched. Of what? What was that a parody of? All like, all Murder Mysteries. Oh, okay. So there's like a parody Columbo in it and a parody Miss Marple and a parody. And it's got what's his tits from

Muppet Treasure Island and Home Alone 2. The man, English actor. Tim Curry. Yeah, Tim Curry's the butler in Clue. Okay, nice. Clue is in, that's what they call Cluedo in America. Tim Curry went to my school. What?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. Gosh. So what was Mafia then? Mafia was- Who was in that? Let me have a look.

Cause there was this period in the late 90s, early 00s where there's so much money. Oh, Clue's older than that. Clue's 80s, I think. Oh, okay, okay. So you're talking about the Meet the Spartans era, like just schlock parody garbage. I think this was a bit before that mafia parody movie. I don't think I've ever seen a film worse than Meet the Spartans. I've never seen that. I don't.

It's not even bad in a way that's fun. Okay, so yeah, here it is. I broke Christina Applegate in it and it was called Jane Austen's Mafia. Jane Austen's Mafia. It was, it's very funny. Lloyd Bridges is in it. Olympia Dukakis.

What? When did it come out? See. 1998. 1998. 15% on Rotten Tomatoes. Whoa. All these, all these,

all these parody movies that I love, you got, you look them up now and they're all fucking rotten on rotten tomatoes. But it's hilarious, it's so good. I think part of it is they, critics don't like comedy and don't like comedy movies. Especially not a comedy movie that makes fun of The Godfather, which is the most important movie.

Yes, yeah, exactly. Well, have you rewatched it though? Yeah, probably, yeah, it probably is not great. Sometimes you- As a kid though, there's just adults not taking shit seriously when you're a kid. It's just magical. Incredible. You can't believe it's happening.

They're allowed to do this? Yeah. I thought they were dead inside. They're so old. I remember really laughing, even though I only kind of understood like half the tropes at not another teen movie. Oh yeah. Just I imagine if I rewatched it now would be profoundly shit.

Scary movie? I never really watched any horrors, but I love scary movie. Yeah. That's Wayne Brothers, right? Yeah. And then they diverted. And like one of them kept making scary movies. And then one of them started making stuff like Meet the Spartans and all these other parodies of things.

Right. And they were both created these like rival. Is meet the Spartans a parody of 300? Yeah. Okay. And meet the Fockers, I guess. And there was a period where what they would do is they would smush a parody of every big film that year into one really bad film.

Yeah, that was a dark period. That was a bad period. Really shit. Yeah. Look up meet the Spart film. Yeah, that was a dark period. That was a bad period. Really shit. Yeah, look up Meet the Spartans. Yeah, here we go. Remembering it makes me still a bit angry. That's how bad it was. 2% on Rotten Tomatoes, holy shit.

Fucking hell. Wow. It would have cost millions, millions of dollars. Who's in? Carmen Electra's in it. Amazing. God damn. You just, where does the money come from?

Where does it go? Cobb and Ijo. That, well, that was, must've been the end of the DVD era, right, when- Yeah, infinite money. When movies didn't have to do well at the cinema and could make it all up on DVDs. So you could have weird movies, get a more niche movie, sillier movies. And that's, I mean,

that's for stoners. That's just like, Oh, every teenage boys, every 15 year old boy who has access to knowing the movie exists is getting it. So that's already, you know, but that's over now that that golden age of teen teenage boys carried an industry. Yeah. They DVDs the teenage boys would force their friends to watch carried an industry. It's all gone now. Yeah. And it's the same. It's the same instinct that carried our industry's DVDs. What were the movies that would have the Green Street Hooligans? What's the big one from Green Street Hooligans?

Oh, all those party movies, scary movie. Freddie got fingered. Oh, I don't want to. Horrifying. OK. Tom Green vehicle. Oh, yeah. All those men.

Really horrifying. Yeah. All those men rode the wave of Teenage Boys. Silly MTV men. Adam Sandler, Johnny Knoxville. Click. Oh yeah. The first of the sad Sandlers.

When you've started to become thoughtful. Yeah, thoughtful Sandler. Yeah. I guess I'm sad. Yeah. I guess I'm sad. Is this putting on his silly voice going, I guess I'm mortal after all.

Just reckoning with death, but in that voice. That sounds like it is from the one where he's the devil's son though. What was someone called? Oh fucking hell. Jimmy, Jimmy evil or something. I don't know. This one where he's the devil's son, isn't he? This one where he's a cobbler.

He's a magic cobbler who like magically cobbles shoes through time or something. You just think what is happening? Jack and Jill where he plays his own like twin with a little stubble like no even really trying. Right, yeah. Bizarre. Teenage boys DVDs that was a whole industry and it's over now. It's gone now. Where does that money go now? Custom skins on Fortnite. That's where that money's going. Oh, vapes probably. TikToks. Probably just buying TikToks now. TikTok juice.

Yeah, there's a lot less just silly shit out there. There's just not money for it. All the silly shit now is being done by like a kind of on the edge of a breakdown 16 year old who accidentally has a very, very big tick tock account. That's where the silliness is. Yeah. It's someone doing sketches about. I guess I said, cause those, those films were kept alive by teenagers and the teenagers don't watch movies really anymore. No, they keep other teenagers alive by watching their short little clips about whatever, but in doing so create these kind of like weird one-man or one-woman media empires.

The most extreme example of course being Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast, the weirdest smile in the world. It doesn't touch his eyes. His smile doesn't go above his own lip. It's like someone smiling wearing a... It's like someone smiling wearing an MF Doom mask. Ah, yeah. Because the smile's cut off. It goes straight across.

I've never seen the smile just go straight horizontally across. Yeah, but even if the smile is extending upwards like a proper one, you can't see because the mask cuts it off. Yeah, right. Yeah. He, Mr. Beast smiles like he's bearing his teeth as a threat, like a chimp. Is that why he's called Mr. Beast? Because he isn't. Because he's got a chimp smile. Yeah. He smiles like there's a, just off camera, there's a guy with an AK saying, smile!

Yeah. He smiles like a hostage. He smiles like he's been taken hostage deep in the jungle and they're trying to stop the UN from sanctioning them. They group the Shining Path of Peru or whatever. He's got, it's horrible. It's very unsettling. It's really off putting and especially because-

It's like he knows he's rich, but's horrible. It's very unsettling. It's really off putting. And especially because it's like he, he, he knows he's rich, but he can't enjoy it because he knows what he's done to become rich. Yeah. And he can't enjoy it too much. Cause then he knows that it'll, it's like a magic spell. The second he enjoys being incredibly rich, everyone will stop watching him. He'll turn back into a puppet.

He'll turn back to a puppet or a pumpkin. And he sort of like, I don't like it as well because the videos are always sort of attempting to tell me that they are joyous. Oh, crazy fun prank for dad's birthday or something, you know, or I gave 100 people back their site to something he's done. What? How? Like Jesus? Yeah. Mr. Beast has become something of a Christ like figure. Um, because he's got so much money, he'll pay for like cataract surgery for a hundred people. Okay.

And give a hundred people back their sight. And then like the condition is that he gets to like film your reaction to seeing again. And the business model is that the money he makes from a video is more than the money he's spent. Way more. Gosh. One of the first big videos he did was,

it was like guy counts to 40,000. He just counted to 40,000 on video. He missed a beast. Yeah. I think that's one of his first big videos. Like a stunt stunt videos. Oh, and it's time lapse or real time. Time lapses, but you can, if you wanted to check, he'd done it for real.

You could check, but yeah, he did do it. He really did do it. And everyone's like, wow, how crazy, ha ha, ha ha, lol, just cause someone's doing something crazy. It's fucking nihilistic, man. Yeah, it's like something from a bad futuristic novel. Yeah. You're the most popular globule on the Omnipod.

It feels like a sentence like that should be said to him by like, a completely like Matt Lucas bald guy in a cloak. Yeah, the Harkonnen. The Harkonnen. What's his name? The floating Harkonnen King. The Duke of some... The Earl? The Baron. Yeah, Baron. The Baron should be saying to Mr. Beast, congratulations Mr. Beast. Like bubbling in that big bath. Mr. Beast should be standing there, doing a smile on the black and white planet where they all live. Horrible. But yeah, he just did loads of counting and then he became richer than God. And so does videos that perpetuate that, which they're quite expensive stunts, but they themselves create so many views. So it's like this snowball of money and attention. Yeah. A big rolling snowball of eyeballs, but he doesn't, he doesn't look like he's enjoying any of it.

But he can't, he can't smile. Yeah. He might be, but his face can't tell us. You know what his smile is? It's like, yeah. You know, though, that game where you have to put a plastic thing on your lips and it holds your lips apart and you have to say things like a dentist. Yes, that's it. That's what the smile reminds me of. That's what Mr. B smile reminds me of. Yeah. He thinks when you're happy, you let people examine your teeth. That's the happiest you can be when you're being relentlessly examined. It's like, my impression of it is like this. Oh yeah, so you just got bearing, yeah that's very good. But you have to do it. You just bearing it off the row of teeth.

You can't let it affect your eyes at all. Oh yeah. Because when you do a normal smile, you get like crows feet. But you have to smile in such a way that like, it's like the top half of your head has been paralyzed. Yeah. But yeah, he does these crazy stunts and, and like his beloved and he tried to do some, some reality show where like you have to get trapped in a fucking box with a stranger for like 10 days.

Oh, and then if you do that, you get a hundred thousand dollars. Okay. Like the prizes are bigger than TV prizes because he has more money than TV. Yeah. Ms. Crackers. And now he's because he has more money than TV. Yeah, it's crackers And now he's done the mr. Beast games, which is just good game. Yeah, although apparently it was too like eerie. I Heard that people were like, oh these are quite weird actually as in unsettling Yeah, which is like people degrading themselves in this way for money. It's a bit like it is odd when he is odd We have we I think as humans we have different we have different morals for what we see on TV and what we see on the internet

Yeah, and if you see something on YouTube, we're willing to Let much worse things go on the online than on TV Yeah, because you think no one officially said this was good or nice Yeah, whereas if it's on a channel stream ago, you think this streamer thinks it's okay to do this to this person. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, and you know and a bigger boy at the TV channel has let him. Yeah, so you almost feel like the bigger boy should be in trouble. It's upsetting. Because when he's doing it Yeah, it was on Prime, but I think that's why people find it icky.

Because it was in the context of a TV show not just like this crazy guy who does all this on his own Because the other thing that they have to hide if you're a big successful youtubers the fact that you can afford and will need Six to twelve members of staff mm-hmm full-time employees mm-hmm So that makes it seem less like self-made and gone zone like homemade rather that's right. That's right So you got to hide the fact that you are essentially just a production company now doing things Yeah, but it's it's not seen as repellent because you aren't the Colgate Company making funny videos to promote toothpaste. Oh, yeah, that wouldn't have the same viewership Regardless of quality because people would go where this company's trying to sell me something

Whereas as long as you can make it this weirdo, you go, I'm just helping this crazy weird guy on his own. Hopping him achieve his dream, this guy that I've been following online. It's funny, ha ha ha, he's like me. Yeah, yeah. Whereas if you start to view it as a corporation, which is what it is now, you start to go, oh.

It's less charming now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, once, if you knew that the D yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah you know, and it becomes, it makes you feel dirty by association. Well, speaking of feeling dirty by association, is it time to read? Yes. Ring, letters, emails, phone numbers, tweets, your sister, keep a straight eye on you, make me feel good. Letters, correspondence. This is chemistry. I feel to prove the power of the world. Correspondence. We've got a message from Bob.

Bob! You slob. Nice. Thanks for writing in. Hello, my boys. Please find a tap from truly unhinged whackaging of the quirky corporate message variety. This was from one of those bamboo bog roll subscription companies. Ah, yes. Do continue jacking it wherever you are, or whenever you are able rather.

With some bamboo bog roll to hand. Yes, so let's, I'm gonna zoom in on this. Oh god, immediately I'm furious. Jesus, you're gonna hate this. Wackaging makes me more angry than tat. Yes. In similar vein to Thomas the Beast thing. Yes, because- I'm gonna hate this. Wackaging makes me more angry than tat. Yes. In the similar vein to Thomas the Beast thing. Yes, because tat is an individual trying to amuse me.

Yes. Wackaging is a company trying to be my friend. Yeah, it's much more sinister, much worse. That's exactly right. Well, brace yourself. OK, here we go. So this is on a cardboard box of multiple toilet rolls. Yep.

Hello there. My name is Eloisa Montgomery. No! Fuck, I'm wearing a bowler hat and some defenders. Fuck off. Eloisa Montgomery's scrunchy stray of delectable mysteries. Where the box's name is Eluisa. Professor Bubenheim's wacky laboratory of crumbly mysteries.

Blah, blah. Disgusting. My name is Eluisa Montgomery and I am a ghost. What? I know. Okay, so the box isn't called Eluisa Montgomery. I guess a ghost wrote it. A ghost called Eluisa Montgomery

has written a message on this box of toilet paper. You've already like whispered the appearance of the ghost. You've nailed this. Oh. My name is Eluisa Montgomery and I'm a ghost, but I'm not like other ghosts. Oh God. I wear a tiny hat.

Ah, I knew it. I knew it. Oh. I have wackaging in my blood now! It's infected me! It's like microplastics. You can never get rid of it. I wear a tiny hat. And I love break dancing. Ugh, fuck you.

Fuck you, Eloisa. I'm glad you're dead. Yeah, you were murdered for being too fucking twee and quirky. You were murdered in the great quirk murders of 2006. Anyway, enough about me. Yeah, thanks. Why? Yeah, why were you talking to me about this? On this box of shit paper?

Anyway, enough about me. Let's talk about this box. You'll recycle it, won't you? Please do. I'm so passionate about recycling. In fact, recycling is my favorite form of cycling. Shut up. Shut up, Mellouisa.

I wish they could kill you again. If I could grab a ghost by the lapels, I would. Grab her by the suspenders, lift her up, start bouncing up and down. Throw her back into hell. Where she's somehow escaped from. Go annoy the devil! In fact, recycling is my favorite form of cycling. So much better than bicycling. What?

After all, it's nearly impossible for a ghost to ride a bike. Why? What? After all, it's nearly impossible for a ghost to ride a bike. Why? If you can talk to me on a box, why can't you cycle on a bike? You're wearing a hat. You can break dance. The hat's not going through you. The floor's not going through you when you spin on it. I thought you'd be back in hell where you belong.

If you went through the floor. What do you mean it's nearly impossible for a ghost to ride a bike? What do you mean? What do you mean it's nearly impossible for a ghost to ride a bike? What do you mean? Really nearly. Wow, I've made this about me again, haven't I? Classic Eloisa. No. Does it classic about yourself, you dog? Classic me. I'll be the judge of what's classic you. I'm going to observe your behavior and your manner over many months and then I'll be the judge of what's classic you. I'm going to observe your behavior and your manner over many months and then I'll decide. This is horrible. You don't need this. If you want someone to recycle, just put that lovely image, that lovely box they put on some things in the UK

with a box with the green, the swirly arrow on it and it says widely recyclable. I love to see that little box in plain text. Imagine the kind of person who's like, Oh, I never recycled my cardboard boxes. Fuck recycling. I hate that shit. It's so boring and annoying. Yeah. And then they're convinced by Eloise of the dancing ghost. The kind of like Jeremy Clarkson kind of fuck or fucking hippies. Oh, a dancing ghost has told me A quirky dancing ghost. Now I'll do it. A ghost that reminds me of all my daughter's most annoying friends. Has convinced me.

The ghost of the girl. That climate change is real. I started believing in recycling and climate change when the ghost of the bluehead character from Eternal Sunshine of a spotless mind told me yeah exactly classic Eloisa just please recycle the box okay and it's signed off popping and locking comma Eloisa oh cuz she's break dancing mmm horrible no I don't nowhere, non-secretaire. Phil, I hate, you know, there's a lot of stereotypes. I hate to tell you, guess where this company started.

Guess where it's from, this kind of attitude. And it makes all the sense in the world, once I tell you. This kind of attitude, where it's from. Where are the most cheerful, earnest hippies? California. Try again. Australia? Yeah. I knew it.

It's Melbourne, baby. It's the lovely, quirky people of Melbourne. Or at the very least, a hard-bitten, like pinstripe suit wearing bastard who is from Melbourne and has used the surrounding delightful sort of people who work in bookshops as a kind of tool for himself. I know what these people like, these cunts. They respond to this kind of twi shite. And he's done this horrible Rupert Murdoch style empire, but he's disguised it using a kind

of Melbourne camouflage. Yeah you call that twee shite? This is twee shite. Eloise Montgomery. She wears a tiny hat. She likes breakdancing. Twee bigger than that cunt. Oh geez Louise. Oh, geez, Louise and Tata Tech from Amy. I'll just sort of summarize it. It was all at a

garden center. There's one sign that was so unbearable. I couldn't read it aloud when showing my friends. Dear weekend, come back. I'm not done with you yet. No! Where is this? In the garden center. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uh Yeah. And it's, it says like, it says like Colin's chore chooser or Darren's chore chooser, Craig's chore chooser. And you spin a needle and it says, wash up, exercise, clean car or beer. And cause of the way it's weighted, no matter what you do, it'll spin. It's like, cause it's upright. It goes down to beer, which is the lowest one.

And then I guess you have a beer. Yeah. Which is again, like if you actually followed through on that through your day, re-harrowing, you should be constantly drunk. David was such a productive, bright, energetic man until he went to the garden center and he found this. He thought he was a real chore chooser. He thought it would help him sort of randomize his tasks throughout the day, get more done in a more interesting

way. But it just picked beer every time. And you know, you know how dutiful he is. You know how he'll always do what he's told. Well, he just drank beer every single time. You all remember the Colin that would exercise, wash up or clean car almost all the time and would only have a beer if ever at the end of the day Well ever since he got this Chor chooser would help we all thought it would help And then some classic shit like I'll drink to that but then I'll drink to anything just burnt into a piece of wood Nice, just you think you sort of look at it and you think,

I guess this is the kind of house where people like alcohol. That's a sign. Why don't you just know that this is a house. This is the kind of house where people like alcohol. That would be good. Just really honest, like autistic tat, blunt tat. I like alcohol, burnt into a piece of wood.

Very good. I enjoy alcohol. Burnt into a piece of wood. Very good. I enjoy alcohol. Oh, me too. That's nice. Thanks for putting that up. It's I enjoy alcohol o'clock. Okay. One o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock.

I like alcohol. I like alcohol so much I might end up on the floor. Not really, but just to give you an idea. Well, look. Look, listeners, we've got good news and we've got bad news. The good news is that Phil's career is going from strength to strength. He's not just dancing with Timothee Chalamet anymore. He's going to kill and eat Timothee Chalamet, so to speak.

Yes, he's got a lot, Phil's got a lot of projects and stuff, a lot of work. A lot of things coming up that, you know, you can't necessarily talk about. Yes, dear PodBud, dear listener, it's a sad thing to say, but my time on Bud Pod is coming to a close. I have collected a bunch of projects, very exciting projects, fun projects that need

just too much of my attention. And I can't bring the full, I'm worried I won't be able to bring the full fill you deserve to the pod in the way that I want. So there will still be a Bud Pod. It's like that song, they'll always be on England. Yes, there will. And Pierre will still be here. Yes, there will be a Bud Pod. And so keep, keep us on your,

on your podcast app. Keep us on your app. Keep us subscribed. If you're a VIP, if you're a VIP, there will, there will be VIP food for you. Do not worry. Both of us will still be here for, well, counting this episode this week. The next three. Next three weeks, this week, next week. And then a- A Sofgonzo Isle of Man recording. We're both gonna be on the Isle of Man. On the 31st. For sure.

So we might round off my recorded time here back where it all began, by which I mean, Pierre began. Yes. In the Isle of Man. But Bud Pod will still be here. It'll be continuing in a new, Pierre began. Yes. In the Isle of Man. But Bud Pod will still be here. It'll be going, it'll be continuing in a new, exciting form. Yes, Bud Pod will be continuing every week and bonus part as well with a friend of the podcast

and fantastic comedian, Glenn Moore. So yeah, Glenn will be stepping into Bud Pod armor and joining the fray till August and including August, cause we're both at the Fringe. So that's just a good chance to keep creating content and we'll be surrounded by so many other comedians up there there'll be a good chance to get some other people on for some more bonus content from the Fringe like we've done in the past. And I'll be back from time to time to catch up with everyone and to whisper some tat and to tell everyone how my new tap dancing career is going.

And I'll also be on the pod for our two live episodes coming up this year. Yes. So we can announce that Bud Pod will be at the Crossed Wires Podcast Festival in Sheffield on the 5th of July. In the morning. In the morning, 11.30. So that's the Crossed Wires podcast festival in Sheffield on the 5th of July in the morning, in the morning, 1130. So that's the Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on the 5th of July. We'll both be there doing a live Bud Pod. And then again, later on the, on the 12th of October, we've mentioned this to you before at the cheerful, airful podcast festival in

London at the Clapham grand will be there. Me and Pierre doing Bud Pod live. It'll be, it'll be lovely. Yeah. It's been such a wonderful time doing this. How many years has it been now? Almost six. Really? Yeah. Oh my God, dude. If someone was born the day we started this first episode, they'd be well into speaking English by now. They'd be, they'd be, they'd, they'd be almost the age I was when I left South Africa. Gosh. Oh, wow. A whole lifetime, basically. Basically, yeah. They'd have run through so many African bushes in their dirty vest. Yes. I guess you can say Bud Pod has been going on for a lifetime, if you're six years old. If you're six years old. We've been with you for your whole life, if you're listening to this and you're six years old. We've been with you for your whole life if you're listening to this and you're six years old.

And of course if you want to keep up with all the fun exciting things I'm doing. I hate talking like an American but we really have to. I know yeah the American the the internet's so American it's made us more American. It really has and so, to keep up with everything I'm doing, do follow me on Instagram. If you've done already at Wang picks with an X Wang P I S Wang picks. Have you just got it? No, I know. But I just, I always forget that that's your username.

Wang picks. As opposed to just being like at full Wang. It has to be Wang picks. Yes. Very good. We have to, we have to go and run through the VIP dirty fields. Yes, yes. So there'll be three more bonus pods as well. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So do listen to those.

Yes, please. But as for all non-patrons, we'll see you in a week. See you next week. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.